All language subtitles for Insecure S01E04 Thirsty as Fuck

Come on, man.

Hey, Issa.
Hey, we got to get a new couch.

Yeah, I know.

Damn, you look good.

- All sweaty and stuff.
- Yeah?

Why don't you come look good in here?

Okay. Yeah. Cool.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Fuck! Oh, my God. This is hot.

Is this the temperature
you normally keep it at?

- Yeah.
- This is way too hot.

Okay, okay. Stand here and put it
at the temperature you want it.

Okay, all right.
Let me get that. Cool.

Okay, but now I'm not getting any water.

- Fine, stand here and I'll move here.
- Okay.

Oh, no, watch out.
That's my shampoo.

And it's slippery there.

My dad had a friend
who got paralyzed like that.

Lawrence, are you really thinking
about your dad right now?

No. I'm thinking about
his paralyzed friend.

- Okay, cool.
- Okay, all right. Oh, no!

- Should we try spooning?
- Stop.

Gross. I love you, but gross.

- Whatever.
- Stupid.

I kind of like this one.

- I love this one.
- Yeah?

And I could watch you do work
while I sit back.

All right.

- What do you think?
- I think I want it.

- I think we should get it.
- Yeah?

- Yes, please.
- Okay.

You don't need the pump, Frank.
Lotion already comes in a pump.

You're gonna transfer all that lotion

from the pump it already comes in
to this new pump for no reason?

I hate you.

- Is that what I sound like?
- I'm just trying to tell you.

- Put the pump down! Put it down!
- They'll hear you.

She hates him.

She...

- ls that what we sounded like at Rite Aid?
- No.

I mean, we were arguing
about travel panties. Duh.

Well, just so you know...

I will always let you buy a lotion pump.

You know how long
I've been waiting to hear you say that?

Come here.

Hey, Frank was right, though.

I mean, what if you get bulk lotion?
Where's that supposed to go?

Right? Dude knows what's up.

I just don't understand why it's taking you
so long to answer one simple question.

Because it's a tough question.

- You go first.
- Okay.

TLC, Jodeci,

702, Dru Hill, and Xscape.

Xscape?

- That first album is a classic.
- Stop it. You're stalling again.

Okay, if I had to choose,
my top five would be...

- Okay.
- 112, Blackstreet.

Also Jodeci,

Boyz ll Men and Color Me Badd.

Oh no. Waitress, check, please.

Can you also revoke his black card
while we at it?

- I Wanna Sex You Up Color Me Badd?
- That's the one.

Now, that was just bad.

Yo, I'm so glad this hasn't been
a one-and-done type of thing.

What do you mean?

I just haven't met someone in a while

that I actually want to go
on multiple dates with.

That makes me happy to hear.

Yeah.

How was your work dinner last night?
You didn't text me when you got home.

Oh, yeah, my bad. After I left,
I was so tired I just crashed.

Okay.
Well, you know, I just wanted to know

that you got home safely. That's all.

- I appreciate the concern. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

You know, it's just the little things.

Yeah.

So, I was like, "The fact that the client
imposes operational standards for uniformity"

"does not make it liable."

"There is a substantial amount of case law
that supports..."

Black people stay loud.

They ain't know what to do with your girl!

Rasheeda was a thoughter.
They ain't ready. They ain't ready.

Hi.

- Hey, can I help you?
- Yeah, I just wanted to talk to Issa.

Hi, I'm Freida. I'm her partner.

- Daniel. Nice to meet you, yeah.
- Nice to meet you.

- What do you do?
- I'm in music.

Oh, my God, I love music.

Cool. Oh, yeah, Issa's right over there.

- Yeah. Do you see her?
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Issa, your friend is here.

- Okay, great. Yeah, nice to meet you, too.
- Nice to meet you.

HEY-

- What are you doing here?
- Look, I'm sorry for coming to your job.

I was in the neighborhood and...

Can... Can we talk? Can we...

Sure.

Issa, I'm sorry about what happened
in your car that night.

I mean, how...

That was the first time that
we had hung out in, like, five years.

I just could've handled it differently.

Yeah, well,
I was going through a lot that night, so...

But still, though, we go back. I just...

I don't want things to be off between us.

Well, me neither.

You know, maybe I should've answered
your calls and returned your texts.

It's all good.

It's all...

So, how you been?

I'm good. You know, work is cool.

And I'm back with my boyfriend.
We had broken up that night, but...

You know, we made it.

That's great.

So, what you're saying is
my timing is perfect.

It's so perfect.

Yeah.

Well, I know you got a lot of work to do.
It was good to see you. Yeah.

It was great seeing you, too.

Hey, that empanada place, is it...
ls it good?

It has a "C" rating.

But it is worth it.

Okay.

Bitch, what?

That nigga came up to your job?

I know. I didn't know
what his ass was gonna do.

Well, what did he say? What did he want?

He just wanted to apologize
for what went down.

It was crazy.

Wait. That's it?

I mean, that's why I told everyone
I needed the conference room for an hour?

No, girl,
that's how this shit always happens.

Okay, just when things are going good
in your relationship,

exes always have a way
of popping the fuck back up.

Okay, it's like Lawrence and I just
leveled up. Like "bloop-bloop"...

And then here comes Daniel.

That nigga showing up to your job
is kind of stalker-ish, though.

Right? It's like,
"Back up! Stop smiling at me."

Asking me about empanadas and shit.

He did look good, though.

He did?

No, I mean, but he always looks good.
He's fine or whatever.

- He just like works out, and he is pretty tall.
- Issa.

What?

Bitch, you just said you and Lawrence
"bloop-blooped" or whatever.

You know Daniel is your Achilles dick.

No, okay.

I told him I'm back with Lawrence
and we're good.

It's over. I handled it.

Anyway, you all set to come to Career Day?

- The kids are excited.
- Shit.

Girl, I forgot.

And work is piling up right now.
Can I let you know?

I hate you so much.

Black people stay trifling.

Don't they, though?

So, were you talking to Dr. Bae?

Who? Michael? No, that's over.

Wait, what?
Thought he gave you marriage eyes.

Apparently, those were
just his regular eyes.

L just wish he would've given me
some sort of explanation, you know.

Instead, he's all,
"I'm too busy to date right now."

Really?

Why would you go
on three dates with me then?

Exactly. Asshole.

It's fine, though. I already have
another League date for tonight.

Go, Molls. Yes.

Hey, Molly.

- Diane.
- Hi.

Diane, Gabe wanted to talk to you
about the Emerson case.

But I'm not on that case.

Well, then you'd better go tell him that.

Don't you just love
the new summer associate class?

Oh, yeah, I better watch out, or one of 'em
is gonna try and take my job.

Yeah, and Rasheeda is really funny.

Yeah, she's hysterical.

But...

I don't know.

A few of the other partners and I
have noticed that she's been a little...

You know, she's not quite
adjusting to the culture here.

Like some of her fellow interns.

And we just feel that it would be great
for you to have a chat with her.

Because it wasn't so long ago
that you were a summer associate.

Well, the more applications you launch,
the more physical RAM you use.

So, you want to make sure
and shut it down from the dock.

Just saves up some space.

- I'll do that next time. Thanks.
- Yeah.

Hey, great job there.

Thanks.

You know, most people think
you can shut down from the window,

but it just takes...

So, Todd is out sick.
He's got adult chicken pox, whatever.

So we're gonna need you to cover
Connected Home & Housewares for a week.

Specifically, washers and dryers.

I don't know anything
about washers and dryers.

It's okay. You're smart. You'll catch on.

Right, but I was hired
because I know computers.

Have you been back there?

Those dryers are full of computers.
You'll crush it.

Can we get some assistance
in Washers and Dryers?

Do you wanna confirm the guests
and I'll work out the schedule?

Sure. But first,

a toast to finally hanging out.

And, you know, who knows? Maybe one
day we can go out like real friends.

So, I'm thinking 20
minutes for each speaker.

- Okay.
- Let the kids Q&A for 10.

- And then we can rotate each speaker to...
- Oh, shit.

Shit.

Patricia never confirmed with her guy, the
painter, and now she says he can't come.

I have an opinion on that.

You know, she was my partner last year.
And she's totally nice.

But she does this kind of thing all
the time. She's so nice, though.

Oh, my God. Do you hate Patricia?

I never said that.
No, I never said that. She's great.

Is she?

I hate her so much.

- She's the worst.
- The worst.

The way she just rolls her eyes
when you ask her to do anything.

And she takes a 30-minute break
after her lunch break.

It's like, "That's what your lunch is for."

I think she walks to Ralph's to poop.

Patricia's guy was the only one we had
who did anything in the arts.

We need someone creative.

Wait, hey, what about your friend Daniel?

Why? Why him?

Well, he said he worked in music.

Yeah, but...

Could you ask him?

I mean, I... I guess I could.

He's probably busy.

- But if you want me to.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay, great.

So, how long were you waiting
to get into The League?

Just a few months.

Me, too.

And so, what firm are you at again?

I'm at Merrill, Johnson and Schwartz.

Okay. I've come up against you guys before.

Yeah, pretty solid firm.

I guess.

Why? What happened?

It's just some work drama.

One of the partners asked me
to talk to the other black girl at work.

They thought she was being a little extra.

Was she, though?

I mean, she was
but I'm not the black translator

here to tell the colored folks
what massa thinks they done wrong.

Like I'm some house Molly.

- Like you Sam Jackson in Django.
- Right? I'm Django!

It's hard being Django.

I mean, stuff like that
happens to me all the time at work.

Yeah?

One of my partners at my firm tries
to fist-bump me every time we talk.

Shut up.

- This nigga even did it in court once.
- No, stop it.

But, no, you can never let
those white people stress you out.

I'm sorry. I was being so negative.

Don't be.

Come on.

Girl

They don't know of your worth

Tell 'em you're my girl

And anything you want is yours

Passion burning

causing rapture of laughter

Pressure building

falling faster and faster

- Hey.
- Hey.

I know this is weird, but I was too
scared to eat on the new couch.

How was work?

It's a job.

Damn, Lawrence,
that's like how prostitutes say it.

It's a job.

Did you eat at work?

Me and Freida just ordered pizza.

- Pow!
- Thank you.

So, you're good for Career Day?

Yeah, we are all set.

- Is this from Pie Hole?
- Yup.

It was the last day for pumpkin.

- You know my heart.
- I know your heart.

Hey, Hannah,
your assistant said this was a good time.

Of course, come on in.

I just wanted to discuss
the Rasheeda situation.

It's not a situation.

It sounds big. It's a chat.

Right. And it means the world to me

that you would entrust me
to have this chat with Rasheeda.

- Great.
- But, as you said,

it hasn't been that long
since I was a summer associate,

so I'm worried that
it may not bear the same weight

coming from me as it would from you.

L just think that it would be much better
for you to have a conversation with her

so that you can communicate
everything you want to say.

As a partner.

I would just hate
for anything to get lost in translation.

I see what you mean.

We'll handle it then, Molly.

Great. Thank you.

Well, look who on break from they new job.

What you got? Some noodles.

Yup.

I'm trying to do
this whole healthy eating thing. So,

I made me some brown rice, some kale,
some chicken breast, and sweet potatoes.

My girlfriend loves kale.

But I don't get it.

Yeah, me, neither.

Kale tastes like foot juice,
but they say it's good for you, so...

Get my hot sauce and get this together.

This look ghetto?

Hey, if Beyoncé can do it, so can I.

I woke up like this

I don't know why I just sang that, so...

What you reading?

Just going over
my Best Buy benefits package.

I mean, I do hear
they have good benefits, though.

They match your 401 K after, what,
five years? That's so bomb.

Yeah. I guess.

Just, this job was supposed to be temporary and
it's kind of feeling like it might not be.

I mean, I don't know.
I just saw myself doing more.

Like what?

I had this app
that I was trying to get going, but...

- But, that wasn't...
- Wait, wait, a for-real app?

You need to still do that.

You got to stay hustling.

Like, I've been a bank
teller for a few years,

but I'm not trying
to just be no bank teller forever.

I want to be a bank manager.

That's why
I'm taking night classes at El Camino,

so I can learn about stocks and bonds
and all that.

I feel you.

Yeah.

Man, give me some of this.

Why does this make everything taste better?

- 'Cause I think it got drugs in it.
- Probably.

Hey, Issa, I can make it
to Career Day after all.

I'm on my way and I've got
gavel cookies for the kids, or just for us.

I'll see you soon. Bye.

Okay. Okay.

Hey.

- I see him.
- Yeah, you see him?

You see him?

Hey, hey, hey!

All right.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey!

What?

This is exactly what it's like
when I work in the studio with Cozz.

Just beats all day, he freestyles,
he writes and then we find something hot.

Hey, yo, my older brother's
friends with Cozz.

Your stupid brother
ain't friends with no rappers.

Guys! Let's be respectful to Mr.
King. Okay?

So, any of y'all want to add something
to this beat?

Who rhymes?

Yo.

I can freestyle. Keep that beat going.

All right.

Okay. I see you.

Okay. Okay.

Come on.

Well, okay.

My name is Greg I am a student

Hey, that's not funny.

Come on, y'all.
Hey, it takes time to get good.

All right? It takes time to get good,
a lot of time.

All right, keep that swagger up, Greg.

I want to hear you
when you're ready, all right?

I love how hard you tried.

Have you ever worked with Drake?

No, but I'm producing a track real soon
for Ty Dolla sign.

You working with Ty Dolla sign?

So, not Drake?

Hey, real quick, y'all...

Y'all want to know who can spit?

Who?

What?

- No.
- For real, y'all.

Hey, back in the day,
Miss Issa used to rap fire.

- Why are you doing this?
- What am I doing?

In fact, she just killed it
at an open mic a few weeks ago.

- They don't need to know all that.
- Actually,

Miss Issa got me into music big-time
back in high school.

She kind of inspired me.

You got a crush on her.

Okay, that's funny. Yeah.

Okay, okay, leave Miss Issa alone.

Sorry.

Thank you.

- Yo, your kids are a trip.
- Sorry.

They can be sometimes.

What was with that girl with all
that attitude? Was that Dayniece?

Yeah, she's so anti.

- Mad anti.
- Right?

No, but it was cool
to see you do your thing today.

Oh, for real?

Yeah, I mean, you've been into music
since I've known you,

and here you are, living your dream.

It's good to see you doing that.

And if you ever want to come to the studio,
let me know.

- I need to head out.
- Okay.

- Have fun with them skreets.
- You're stupid.

What the hell?

What are you doing there?

I don't know. It's your fantasy.

But I got a man.

And where is he?

- I don't know.
- Real talk, though.

I knew you was going to call me
after I came up to your job.

How'd you know that, Mirror Daniel?

'Cause I've always been your "what-if" guy.

Like, what if we finally
could give us a shot?

What if we were both
single at the same time?

What if I could introduce you

to Ty Dolla sign?

Where did Ty Dolla sign just come from?

You right, man.
I should write a song about her.

You talking to Ty Dolla sign about me?
How is this your life?

What if...

This could be our life?

Issa.

What are you doing?

What?

I was just asking Siri where
Malcolm-Jamal Warner was born.

It's Brooklyn.

What are you even doing here?
I thought you couldn't make it.

I left you a message that said I could.

And why the fuck is Daniel here?

Because someone had dropped out,

and then Freida was like,
"What about your friend Daniel?"

And I was like, "Maybe,"
and then he came.

And what about your man?

We needed someone who was in the arts.

Okay.

Daniel knows I'm with Lawrence.

Do you?

Thanks for coming, though, girl.

I appreciate you.

I'll go get the rest of the stuff
and I'll meet you at the van?

Sounds good.

Check it out.

Hey! I found it!

- Oh, my God!
- It really is her.

Maybe it really smells
Broken pussy

Damn! Miss Issa thick!

Maybe it really smells
Broken pussy

Broken pussy

Maybe it's dry as hell

Maybe it really smells
Broken pussy

Broken pussy