Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:22,558
Hello.
2
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,639
Mr. Brooks, there's a Margo Brofman
on the phone for you.
3
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:29,726
- Oh, yeah? Put her through.
- Okay.
4
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,062
- Hello?
- Hey, Margo!
5
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,733
I'm giving a surprise party
Sunday night. Can you come?
6
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,738
Who're you gonna surprise?
7
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,367
You.
8
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,449
- Who else is coming?
- Just Felicia and Liz.
9
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,162
Oh, yeah?
10
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,869
- What's the occasion?
- That's the surprise.
11
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,834
- Hey, Mac.
- Nice-looking threads.
12
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,549
- Can I take some roses?
- Help yourself.
13
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,058
Thanks.
14
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,363
Here you go.
15
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,295
Come in, Steve.
16
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,806
Looking good, slick.
17
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,619
- Felicia.
- Hello, Steve.
18
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,121
Thank you.
19
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,043
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
20
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,588
And Liz.
21
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,712
- Hi, Steve.
- Hi.
22
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,950
Hey, Margo.
Come on in.
23
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,211
Unbelievable!
24
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,181
Looking good there.
25
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,178
Sexy!
26
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,263
Unbelievable!
27
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,150
Slick, you are something else!
28
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,739
Come on, Margo.
It's my turn.
29
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,214
Oh, yes.
30
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,507
I don't believe this.
31
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:51,800
I'm sitting here with three
beautiful women who said they hated me.
32
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,891
- I gotta be dreaming.
- We still hate you.
33
00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:01,817
We decided you should be punished
for the way you treat women.
34
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,112
Oh, yeah.
35
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,572
Men like you
just have to be stopped.
36
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,699
How're you gonna stop me?
37
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,985
We're going to kill you.
38
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,247
What a way to die.
39
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,736
Oh, God.
40
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,039
We did it.
41
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,911
We still gotta get him out of
the hot tub and down to the river.
42
00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,745
- I don't think I can.
- You have to!
43
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,002
We can't do it without you.
44
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,096
You bitches.
45
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,102
Where am I?
46
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,851
Purgatory.
47
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,984
- Where's that?
- Between heaven and hell.
48
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,358
What happens now?
49
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:14,401
On one hand, you've earned
enough credits to get you into heaven.
50
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,320
- Thank God.
- You're welcome.
51
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:22,083
On the other hand,
you've been so rotten to women,
52
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,494
you deserve to go straight to hell.
53
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,287
That's pretty rotten.
54
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,081
Perfect record.
They all hate you.
55
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,127
- All of them?
- As far as I know.
56
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:34,762
You should know, but...
57
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:38,057
it's kinda hard for me to believe
there aren't a couple of women...
58
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,843
Right now
I'll settle for one.
59
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,559
So I've decided
that you should go back...
60
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:48,818
and find one female
who truly likes Steve Brooks.
61
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:50,978
If you find her, you go to heaven.
62
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:54,194
If you don't,
you'll spend eternity in hell.
63
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:55,409
Back?
64
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,572
Unless you have
a better suggestion.
65
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,871
No, no.
66
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,748
Back's fine.
Back's terrific.
67
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,410
Good morning. It's Ross Britain.
It's 8 a.m. in the Big Apple.
68
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,454
Here's Keith Slaughter and the Butchers
69
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:12,171
playing what Jerry Falwell describes
as the devil's music.
70
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,081
Excuse me.
71
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,916
- Yes?
- I wish to lodge a complaint.
72
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,921
What is it this time?
73
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,254
I have as much right
to Steve Brooks' soul as you do.
74
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,293
That's why I sent him back.
75
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,636
If he can't find one female who
likes him, then his soul is yours.
76
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,551
That's not a fair test.
77
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,470
He'll pick some helpless...
78
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,935
unsuspecting female...
79
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,601
pretend to be everything he's not.
80
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,610
In the end she'll adore him.
81
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:17,239
And you'll be honour-bound to admit...
82
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,572
an unregenerate debaucher
into heaven.
83
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,782
What do you suggest?
84
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,289
Teach him a lesson,
and at the same time
85
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:30,498
make it impossible for him
to work his macho machinations
86
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,835
on any more unsuspecting females.
87
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,422
And how do I do that?
88
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:39,757
Easy.
89
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,180
Make him a woman.
90
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,362
Security.
91
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,989
Okay, Mrs. Wetherspoon.
92
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,998
I'll take care of it right away.
93
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,911
Some woman's screaming her head off
in Brooks' apartment.
94
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,213
Again?
95
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,720
She didn't sound like the others.
96
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,347
It was bloodcurdling.
97
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,512
Mr. Brooks?
98
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:31,732
Mr. Brooks?
99
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,437
- You want I should call SWAT?
- No.
100
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,825
Mr. Brooks?
101
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,665
Anybody here?
102
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,296
Are you sure
you don't need a backup?
103
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,259
Mr. Brooks!
104
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:00,964
It's Mac!
105
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,263
Mr. Brooks?
106
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,899
Hey, lady. Miss?
107
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,019
I'm up! I'm up!
What time is it?
108
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,490
Mac!
109
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,993
You okay?
110
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,200
- What the hell happened?
- Easy.
111
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:31,707
Looks like you fainted
or something.
112
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:34,334
I guess I must have fainted
or something.
113
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,179
Oh, yeah.
114
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,356
Holy shit!
115
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,883
Holy shit!
116
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,719
Holy shit!
117
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,052
Holy shit!
118
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,394
- Where's Mr. Brooks?
- Where's Mr. Brooks?
119
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,810
- Who are you?
- Where's Mr. Brooks?
120
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,195
Who am I?
121
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,657
Who am I?
122
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:48,529
How'd you get in here?
123
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,445
How do you know my name?
I never passed you through.
124
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,538
- Al was on duty.
- He didn't tell me.
125
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,577
You sign in?
126
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,921
I don't remember.
127
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,420
All guest are required
to sign the register.
128
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:07,159
You couldn't have gotten in unless
Mr. Brooks said it was okay
129
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,804
and you signed that register.
130
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:16,554
Mr. Brooks must have said it was okay
and I must have signed, right?
131
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,143
Because here I am!
132
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,150
Here I am! Here I fucking am!
133
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:31,239
- I'm not feeling too well.
- Want me to call a doctor?
134
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:34,706
No.
135
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,161
No, no.
136
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,787
It's okay, it's okay.
137
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,124
You know, I just...
I kinda...
138
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,877
I keeled over there
'cause I got some bad news...
139
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,671
but I'm gonna shower, shave.
140
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,260
I'm gonna
pull myself together here.
141
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:57,052
You know how it is, Mac.
You get up on the wrong side of the bed.
142
00:14:57,355 --> 00:15:00,439
- You haven't brushed you teeth.
- When will Mr. Brooks come back?
143
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,269
Not for a very long time.
144
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,810
- Really?
- Yeah. He, uh...
145
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:08,823
You see, he told me
that he was going away.
146
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,234
- He's gone away.
- Yeah.
147
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:14,950
And he asked me
to take care of his apartment.
148
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,786
- You're taking care...
- Yeah. Because...
149
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,370
- Because we're sisters.
- Sisters?
150
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:26,962
I'm the sister.
I mean, I'm his half-sister.
151
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,344
We have different mothers,
but he gave me his key,
152
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,220
showed me how everything works,
153
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,802
so I'm gonna be fine,
just fine.
154
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,101
Okay, yeah.
155
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,892
- Thanks a lot.
- Sure.
156
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:55,494
How you doing there,
Mrs. Wetherspoon?
157
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,180
Un-fucking-believable.
158
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,882
- Hello?
- Hello.
159
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,967
Hey, Walter.
How you doin', buddy?
160
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:02,560
Who's this?
161
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,437
Who is this?
162
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:06,515
Who is this?
163
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,444
Okay, look, Walter.
I'm gonna try something here.
164
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,323
I'm a woman.
165
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,492
Yeah?
166
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:19,236
It's me, Walter.
I'm a woman.
167
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,072
Is this Connie?
168
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,117
No, it isn't Connie.
It's me.
169
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,746
Okay. Forget it.
I'm a man.
170
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,541
I'm Amanda. I'm Steve's sister.
171
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,926
Wait till you get a load of me.
172
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,214
Steve doesn't have a sister.
Can I talk to Steve, please?
173
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,016
You are...
I mean, you can't.
174
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:45,016
It's after 10:00.
Steve hasn't shown up for work.
175
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:47,689
Look, it's really complicated.
176
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:51,523
Why don't you meet me for lunch
and I'll explain it to you.
177
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,733
Steve would have told me
if he had a sister.
178
00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,488
No, he wouldn't.
179
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,742
I'll meet you
at the City Grille at 1:00.
180
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,195
Wait, wait!
How I'm gonna know it's you?
181
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,739
You can't miss me, pal.
182
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:08,206
I'm blonde, about 5'7".
183
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,211
Built like a brick shithouse.
184
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:16,928
Desk.
185
00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,885
Yes, Mr. Reed.
186
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,799
Hold on a second.
187
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,393
- That's the broad.
- I never passed her by here.
188
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:35,779
- You let her in?
- No, I didn't. She told me you...
189
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,192
- Morning, May.
- Wait a minute.
190
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:43,487
- She still in the sack?
- Wait a minute. You can't go up there!
191
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,497
- I'd love a cup of coffee.
- Mrs. Brofman!
192
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,661
Mrs. Brofman!
193
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,830
Mrs. Brofman!
194
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,003
Mrs. Brofman! Mrs. Brofman!
195
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,592
Mrs. Brofman, open the door!
196
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:07,845
Mrs. Brofman, open the door!
197
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,308
What, Mae?
198
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,483
What? What?
199
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,737
- Who are you? Get out!
- Are you all right?
200
00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:18,112
Mae, call the police!
201
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,775
Then you could tell them all about
that little party you threw last night.
202
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:27,999
What?
203
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,580
Divers shouldn't have any trouble
finding the body.
204
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:34,839
Mae?
205
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,923
I can just hear
Felicia and Liz now.
206
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,754
Oh, yeah.
207
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,803
"We tried to drown him
in the hot tub, but...
208
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,098
Margo shot him."
209
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:44,724
Mae!
210
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:46,758
"Three times in the chest."
211
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,268
Mae?
212
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,768
Don't call the police.
Forget the police.
213
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,557
- You sure?
- Yes.
214
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,100
All right.
215
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:05,578
Who are you?
216
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,332
Where's the gun?
217
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,951
Who the hell are you?
218
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,997
Oh, take a good look, Margo.
219
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,792
They say the eyes
are the windows to the soul.
220
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:24,088
Look into my eyes.
Whose soul do you see?
221
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,218
It's me, Margo... Steve.
222
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,304
You're crazy!
223
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:35,690
I picked you because you're a lot
smarter than those other two bimbos.
224
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,897
Also, you believe
that fag psychic of yours
225
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,903
told you you were Helen of Troy
in another incarnation.
226
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,032
Way I figure it,
you'd have no trouble believing
227
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:48,240
that I am the late, great
Steven Brooks, your ex-lover,
228
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:51,748
reincarnated as a gorgeous female.
229
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,249
Look deep, Margo.
230
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,791
You better believe it, slick.
231
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,674
'Cause after I borrow a dress
and some lipstick...
232
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,715
I am gonna have lunch
with my buddy Walter
233
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,429
and you are gonna teach me
234
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:14,563
everything I always wanted to know
about women but was afraid to ask.
235
00:22:43,946 --> 00:22:45,938
How ya doin', Walter?
236
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,857
- Amanda?
- In the flesh.
237
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:51,742
And what about that flesh?
238
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,778
Jesus Christ.
239
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,741
Susie, I'll have
a margarita, please.
240
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:01,207
So what do you think?
Did you get a good look at my legs?
241
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:07,505
- So, Steve never mentioned me?
- No.
242
00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:09,878
Well, that's understandable.
243
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:13,173
We only just discovered each other
a few days ago.
244
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:16,559
I'm his half-sister.
We have different mothers.
245
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:21,895
He sure did talk about you
quite a bit.
246
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:23,192
Really?
247
00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:26,026
Check out that ass.
248
00:23:26,322 --> 00:23:28,814
How'd you like to give her
a punch in the pants?
249
00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,698
You're not gay, are you?
250
00:23:32,786 --> 00:23:36,370
If I'm gay, Clint Eastwood
is a transvestite. Excuse me.
251
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:48,208
You don't look like Steve,
except something...
252
00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,177
about the eyes that...
253
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:54,010
But you sure do act like him.
You always drink margaritas?
254
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,140
- Yeah.
- So does Steve.
255
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,973
Well, here's to Steve,
wherever he may be.
256
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,479
By the way, where is he?
257
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:05,188
I don't know.
He just said that he was going away.
258
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,938
- And he'd be gone for a long time.
- You're kidding me.
259
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:13,776
- No. He kept talking about Gauguin.
- Who?
260
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,406
Gauguin.
He was a French painter.
261
00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:21,416
He decided to chuck it all
and move to Tahiti to paint.
262
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:24,210
He said he was
fed up with everything.
263
00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:26,246
And between you and me...
264
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,754
- he seemed very depressed.
- Depressed?
265
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:34,633
Last night, three of his ex-girlfriends
were throwing him a dinner party.
266
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,257
When he left me,
he couldn't have been happier.
267
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:40,643
Maybe the party didn't turn out
exactly like he planned.
268
00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:42,645
Steve is not the kind of man
269
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,899
who would suddenly decide
to chuck it all and not tell me.
270
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:50,191
- Did you check his office?
- For what?
271
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,777
I don't know.
Maybe he left you a note.
272
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:59,495
- You heard anything?
- No. It's very strange.
273
00:24:59,790 --> 00:25:01,907
Beth, this is Amanda Brooks,
Steve's sister.
274
00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:04,326
- How're you doing?
- Mind if I look in his office?
275
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:07,166
- Maybe he left a note.
- Go ahead.
276
00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:10,707
But when I cleaned up his desk,
I didn't find anything.
277
00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:16,046
- You're his sister, huh?
- Half-sister.
278
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,886
We only just discovered each other
a few days ago.
279
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:22,677
Oh, 'cause I've been his secretary
for two years
280
00:25:22,980 --> 00:25:24,437
and he never said anything...
281
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:27,475
- Nothing.
- Did you look in the drawer?
282
00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:29,813
- Yeah.
- Let me have a look.
283
00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:33,025
He told Amanda he was gonna chuck it all
and be like Gauguin.
284
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:35,986
The painter?
285
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:39,494
- I can't believe he wouldn't call me.
- What's this?
286
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:41,950
- What?
- It's a note. Says "To Walter."
287
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:44,491
- Where'd you find that?
- In the drawer.
288
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,500
I looked...
289
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:49,583
"Dear, Walter.
I'm fed up with my life.
290
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:53,500
I've decided to chuck it all
and start again like Gauguin.
291
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:56,962
I asked Amanda, my half-sister,
to stay in my apartment while I'm gone.
292
00:25:57,264 --> 00:26:00,348
Take her to lunch. You'll like her.
She's got a great pair of...
293
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:03,642
So long. Steve."
294
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:07,181
- Was that his handwriting?
- Yeah.
295
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,160
What's the matter?
296
00:26:22,456 --> 00:26:24,368
He's really gone.
297
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:26,578
Yeah, it looks that way, sugar.
298
00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:32,130
He always called me that.
299
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:36,252
Jesus! You must have been
really crazy about him.
300
00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:43,971
I hated him. I just...
301
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:48,183
I always cry when I'm
really, really happy.
302
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,644
Sorry. Excuse me.
303
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:56,024
I'm sorry, Mr. Freidkin.
304
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:02,328
Walter.
305
00:27:02,496 --> 00:27:04,863
Mr. Freidkin,
we just found this.
306
00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:10,456
- Steve's sister.
- Half-sister.
307
00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:14,331
Our Steve?
308
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:17,591
Why, that son of a gun.
309
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:20,299
He didn't know about her
until a couple of days ago.
310
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,881
Talk about your family secrets.
311
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:27,310
You should read the note.
312
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,061
What note?
313
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,113
Gauguin?
314
00:27:41,243 --> 00:27:44,031
- This is a joke, right?
- No, he's gone.
315
00:27:45,289 --> 00:27:48,623
- I don't believe it.
- You must be Arnold, Steve's boss.
316
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:51,250
- How you doing, Arnold?
- Yes.
317
00:27:51,545 --> 00:27:53,912
Steve told me a lot about you.
318
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:57,924
Well, not all bad, I hope.
319
00:27:58,218 --> 00:28:00,335
No, not all of it.
320
00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:04,506
We're gonna miss him.
He was one hell of an advertising man.
321
00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:07,100
He was that, yeah, but...
322
00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,852
I think he can be improved on.
323
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:13,310
Oh, really? How's that?
324
00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:18,187
Why don't you take me to your office.
I'll tell you. How's that?
325
00:28:23,118 --> 00:28:25,360
You're sure I can't
get you something stronger?
326
00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,700
No, thanks. Except for
the occasional margarita at lunch,
327
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:31,036
I make it a habit
not to drink on the job.
328
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:35,662
You sound like your brother.
329
00:28:38,842 --> 00:28:41,960
- Who do you work for?
- You, I hope.
330
00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:46,176
I'm flattered.
331
00:28:46,475 --> 00:28:48,467
Have you had experience
in advertising?
332
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,261
Hire me and I'll get you
the Faxton account.
333
00:28:56,276 --> 00:28:58,359
Get me the Faxton account
and you're hired.
334
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:04,616
Hire me, I won't tell you wife
about apartment "J" on West 57th Street.
335
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,327
My God.
336
00:29:09,206 --> 00:29:10,947
What else did Steve tell you?
337
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:16,578
He told me you pay him 200 a year,
plus fringes. I'll take 250.
338
00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:20,123
Why should I pay you more
than Steve's getting?
339
00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:22,792
Steve didn't give you a hard-on.
340
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:33,932
Denise.
341
00:29:35,524 --> 00:29:38,437
You knew Steve Brooks
pretty well, didn't ya?
342
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,064
- "Knew"?
- Well, know.
343
00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:43,104
- Pretty well.
- So tell me.
344
00:29:43,407 --> 00:29:48,027
What adjective would you say
best describes him?
345
00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:49,569
Asshole.
346
00:29:51,206 --> 00:29:53,118
That could also be a noun.
347
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:55,954
Major asshole.
348
00:29:57,379 --> 00:29:58,745
Sounds great.
When do you start?
349
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,460
Tomorrow morning.
What can I say?
350
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:04,000
- How about you show me the ropes?
- Sure.
351
00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:07,461
Goddamn Italian shoes.
352
00:30:09,224 --> 00:30:13,184
Yeah, well. It's gonna really be
great working with you. Steve and all.
353
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:16,516
- Why don't we have dinner tonight?
- Yeah.
354
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:19,808
How about a little sushi
at Aiko's.
355
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:22,648
Eight o'clock. Couple of beers at Duke's.
356
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,778
- Okay.
- Great.
357
00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:26,939
See you later, bud.
358
00:30:27,868 --> 00:30:28,984
Well...
359
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,907
Let's see which one of your guides
360
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:35,243
is available
to give us some answers.
361
00:30:52,267 --> 00:30:53,267
Jesus.
362
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,323
Greetings, sahib.
363
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,652
Multiple blessings
from the eternal spirit.
364
00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:14,703
It's Pasha.
365
00:31:17,834 --> 00:31:20,918
Pasha, is it appropriate
that we speak?
366
00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:26,625
Exceedingly so, sahib.
367
00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:30,340
The answer
to your question is,
368
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:33,723
in order for Sahib Brooks
to be...
369
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:37,476
reincarnated, he must first be dead.
370
00:31:37,979 --> 00:31:38,979
He's dead.
371
00:31:40,607 --> 00:31:41,607
He is?
372
00:31:42,526 --> 00:31:46,566
Well, isn't he? I mean, you're
supposed to know about those things.
373
00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:52,442
If, indeed,
Sahib Brooks'...
374
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:56,116
immortal soul has left
the bondage of this earth,
375
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:58,953
it is reasonable to assume
376
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:02,961
it has not yet arrived
at its predestined spiritual abode
377
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,463
or of course I would know of it.
378
00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:07,881
Okay. Let's say that he is dead
379
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:10,213
and he has been reincarnated
as a woman.
380
00:32:10,512 --> 00:32:12,845
- The eternal soul...
- Let me finish!
381
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:16,934
Sorry, Pasha.
382
00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:22,889
Could it still be the same man
in a different body?
383
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:26,351
Although the grand design
provides for...
384
00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:29,566
almost any possibility,
385
00:32:30,157 --> 00:32:34,117
I have never heard of such a case
as you speak of.
386
00:32:34,411 --> 00:32:38,872
But I will investigate
and report the next time we communicate.
387
00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:41,832
In the meantime,
peace be with you
388
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:44,369
and Brahma, the supreme soul,
389
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:47,755
the essence of the universe,
390
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,790
guide and protect you.
391
00:32:58,727 --> 00:33:00,935
That really
takes it out of me.
392
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,857
- Pasha wasn't much fucking help.
- Margo!
393
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,812
Aside from the fact that this...
394
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:14,278
woman claims to be
the late Mr. Brooks,
395
00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:18,365
is there any other reason why you might
think that he would be dead?
396
00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,746
Of course not!
What other reason could there be?
397
00:33:23,835 --> 00:33:26,122
You've reached 555-6731.
398
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:28,754
Please leave a message,
I'll call you back.
399
00:33:29,758 --> 00:33:32,421
Hello, Kurt,
you psychic, psycho fag.
400
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:36,175
Margo, get your ass
to Bloomingdale's. See you in an hour.
401
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:53,979
Oh, yeah, that's pretty.
402
00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:56,448
Where are you going?
403
00:33:57,118 --> 00:33:59,155
I'm going to Aiko's.
404
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:02,822
Don't you think something
a little less formal for sushi?
405
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:06,083
Yeah, probably, but maybe
we should get it anyway.
406
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,791
Bound to be other nights
when I can wear it.
407
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,830
Oh, bound to be.
408
00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,834
You think I'd look good
in something like that?
409
00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:19,092
There's not much
you wouldn't look good in.
410
00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:22,638
I bet you say that to all the boys
who become girls.
411
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:26,433
You need a bra.
412
00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:29,474
We're about the same size?
413
00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,403
Oh, yeah. I think we...
414
00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:43,362
- Cash or charge?
- What's the total?
415
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:47,124
Including cosmetics,
perfume and jewellery,
416
00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:51,003
it's $41,611.89.
417
00:34:53,633 --> 00:34:55,750
How you wanna
pay for that, slick?
418
00:34:57,887 --> 00:35:00,220
She never lets me
pay for a thing.
419
00:35:00,515 --> 00:35:03,098
If I tried, she'd probably shoot me,
dump me in the river.
420
00:35:13,570 --> 00:35:16,654
Do you know how many poor animals
they had to kill to make that coat?
421
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,816
Do you know how many rich animals
I had to fuck to get this coat?
422
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:30,830
Here she comes.
423
00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:38,550
Excuse me.
Miss Brooks, is it?
424
00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:41,303
I'm Stuart Higgins,
the apartment manager.
425
00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:44,598
Nice to meet you.
Do me a favour, Al.
426
00:35:44,893 --> 00:35:46,976
I'm expecting a big delivery
from Bloomingdale's.
427
00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:50,308
Would you send it up?
I got a hot date tonight.
428
00:35:50,607 --> 00:35:53,975
I'm sorry, but I can't allow you
to stay in Mr. Brooks' apartment
429
00:35:54,277 --> 00:35:57,395
unless you can prove
you really are his sister.
430
00:35:57,697 --> 00:36:00,610
- Do you have some identification?
- Like what?
431
00:36:00,909 --> 00:36:04,277
- A driver's license?
- I don't drive.
432
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:07,447
- Credit cards?
- I don't charge.
433
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:09,490
You told Mac the night guard
434
00:36:09,793 --> 00:36:11,876
that your brother
told Al the day guard
435
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:14,253
that you'd be staying
in your brother's apartment.
436
00:36:14,547 --> 00:36:16,129
- Yeah.
- Well...
437
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:20,168
this is Al, and he doesn't remember
your brother saying that.
438
00:36:20,470 --> 00:36:22,587
- You don't remember that, Al?
- No, ma'am.
439
00:36:23,348 --> 00:36:25,089
- How old are you?
- Forty-nine.
440
00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:28,009
You told me you were 50.
Don't you remember?
441
00:36:28,311 --> 00:36:32,100
The day my brother introduced us,
you said you just had a birthday.
442
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,312
- I met you?
- Yeah, I told you how young you looked.
443
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:38,986
Could start that early.
It could.
444
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,120
It's probably nothing serious,
just short-term,
445
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:43,653
but if I were you,
I'd get it checked.
446
00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:48,287
You can call Arnold Freidkin.
He's my boss at F&B.
447
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:51,665
If that doesn't satisfy you,
call Laura Patrick.
448
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,451
- Who?
- Laura Patrick.
449
00:36:53,753 --> 00:36:57,997
Redhead my brother fixed you up with
when your wife was out of town.
450
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:03,635
You should get checked too.
You're getting just as forgetful as Al.
451
00:37:05,432 --> 00:37:07,219
Check out the headlights
on the blonde.
452
00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:10,726
How'd you like to play "hide
the salami" with that for about a week?
453
00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:13,978
Not me. You.
454
00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:17,683
You don't think that's
a perfectly legitimate question?
455
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,352
Coming from a guy, maybe.
456
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:23,148
You don't think
women talk to women that way?
457
00:37:23,825 --> 00:37:26,442
Yeah, I guess so.
Sometimes. Some women.
458
00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:29,203
So what's wrong with a woman
talking to a man that way?
459
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:32,865
I don't know. I just think that
when a man talks to a woman,
460
00:37:33,168 --> 00:37:34,909
or a woman talks to a man...
461
00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,168
it should be more romantic.
462
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:41,424
So women aren't supposed to feel or talk
about the same things a man feels?
463
00:37:41,718 --> 00:37:44,381
It's okay for a man to say
"I'm horny. I'd like to get laid."
464
00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:47,547
- This is not okay for a woman to say?
- You sound like Gloria Steinem.
465
00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:52,934
Let's go to Duke's.
466
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:58,232
- Steve told you about Duke's?
- Yeah.
467
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:03,020
I used to put your brother to bed
after six of these.
468
00:38:03,323 --> 00:38:05,315
- Yeah? How many is this?
- Five.
469
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,405
Good. I got one to go.
470
00:38:08,703 --> 00:38:10,444
Nope. That's a double.
471
00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,910
Then I'll just sip it.
472
00:38:14,209 --> 00:38:16,075
I was afraid of that.
473
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,623
- I really miss him.
- Who? Duke?
474
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:23,416
No. Steve.
475
00:38:23,718 --> 00:38:26,552
Why? I mean, face it.
476
00:38:28,223 --> 00:38:31,136
He wasn't the nicest guy
in the world.
477
00:38:31,434 --> 00:38:33,926
Especially where women
are concerned.
478
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:37,396
He loves kids, though.
And dogs.
479
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:42,939
And he does things for people
nobody knows about
480
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:46,322
except for me and the shrink he was
seeing for about six months.
481
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,200
And God.
482
00:38:49,869 --> 00:38:51,826
- Yeah. He knows.
- She.
483
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,824
He's like Popeye.
484
00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:00,039
- God?
- No. Steve. You know.
485
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,331
"I am what I am."
He is what he is.
486
00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,545
He's a smart, funny, charming,
487
00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:09,595
dyed-in-the-wool
male chauvinist,
488
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:13,967
who brags about most things other guys
are afraid to admit to themselves.
489
00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:17,558
And you know what?
He likes me.
490
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:19,893
He's very loyal.
491
00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:21,932
You wanna know why, Walter?
492
00:39:23,903 --> 00:39:25,110
Why?
493
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:28,147
Because he envies you.
494
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:31,692
See, you're a good guy.
495
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:33,987
How do you know that?
496
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:36,702
- That you're a good guy?
- No, that he envies me.
497
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,411
Oh. Well.
498
00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:43,454
He told me.
He said, "Amanda...
499
00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:45,292
you stick with Walt.
500
00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:47,458
He's a good guy."
501
00:39:48,177 --> 00:39:51,090
- Maybe I'm not so good.
- How come?
502
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:55,224
To tell you the truth,
503
00:39:55,518 --> 00:39:58,010
I really, really
wanna go to bed with you.
504
00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:01,138
Like that's a hot news flash.
505
00:40:01,441 --> 00:40:03,854
I can't because you're
my best friend's sister.
506
00:40:04,152 --> 00:40:07,190
What do you mean? Steve wouldn't have
trouble going to bed with your sister.
507
00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:10,105
I don't have a sister.
Even if I did, I don't think he would.
508
00:40:10,408 --> 00:40:13,492
Oh, he would.
Take my word for it.
509
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:16,244
So what are you saying?
That I should?
510
00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:18,326
I mean, if I could...
511
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,617
If you could, yeah, sure.
512
00:40:22,712 --> 00:40:24,123
- But you can't.
- No?
513
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,708
No. Sorry.
514
00:40:26,090 --> 00:40:29,174
You mind telling me why?
515
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:36,924
'Cause I'm not really
who you think I am.
516
00:40:40,229 --> 00:40:41,970
It's me, Walt...
Steve.
517
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,266
I died, and...
518
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:48,147
God wouldn't let me into heaven
519
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:52,315
'cause I been such a shit
to women.
520
00:40:54,118 --> 00:40:56,576
That's why? God.
521
00:40:56,871 --> 00:40:58,487
If I want to go to heaven,
522
00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:00,914
I gotta find...
523
00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:05,210
I gotta find one female
who likes me.
524
00:41:05,922 --> 00:41:07,504
That's not gonna be easy.
525
00:41:09,217 --> 00:41:12,426
- Hey. You believe I'm Steve?
- Yeah. Sure.
526
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:15,629
I knew you would.
527
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:17,798
- Hey, Steve.
- What?
528
00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:20,013
I'd still like
to fuck your sister.
529
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,721
- She is not Steve!
- You didn't look in her eyes.
530
00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:26,185
She didn't kiss you,
for Christ's sake.
531
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,272
- Give me that.
- Spooky.
532
00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:31,857
It's bullshit, darling.
533
00:41:32,156 --> 00:41:34,990
You're a sucker for that kind of thing.
That's why she chose you.
534
00:41:35,284 --> 00:41:36,991
How does she know about everything?
535
00:41:37,286 --> 00:41:40,279
You can laugh, but I get the feeling
she's watching us right now.
536
00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:51,675
Hello?
537
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:55,510
You're a major stockholder
with Faxton Cosmetics.
538
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:59,765
I want an appointment
with Sheila Faxton tomorrow afternoon.
539
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:01,595
You sound drunk.
540
00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:04,349
You sound stoned.
541
00:42:04,897 --> 00:42:08,231
Three of you getting high, trying
to figure out what to do about me?
542
00:42:13,448 --> 00:42:15,656
- Was that...
- Steve.
543
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,942
- You mean Amanda.
- No, I mean Steve!
544
00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:22,954
Coffee.
545
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:34,298
Where is my address book?
546
00:42:35,219 --> 00:42:37,962
- Your address book?
- Steve's address book.
547
00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:40,805
- Oh. Bottom drawer.
- No, I looked there.
548
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:48,063
Guess I can't think
with all this hair.
549
00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:50,019
You have beautiful hair.
550
00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:53,061
You know how long it takes to dry?
Get me my barber.
551
00:42:53,362 --> 00:42:54,648
Your barber?
552
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:57,856
I don't have a barber.
My hairdresser.
553
00:42:58,159 --> 00:43:01,277
In fact, who does your hair?
It's nice. It's all off your face.
554
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:03,445
Sergei, actually.
555
00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:06,491
Sergei, good.
Get me an appointment with Sergei.
556
00:43:08,503 --> 00:43:10,165
Go, go, go!
557
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,584
How may I
direct your call?
558
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:15,966
Hello. A Miss Darlene Wooster,
please.
559
00:43:16,260 --> 00:43:17,717
One moment, please.
560
00:43:18,012 --> 00:43:20,004
- This is Darlene.
- Darlene.
561
00:43:20,306 --> 00:43:25,802
I'm writing a book called
Great Names In Advertising.
562
00:43:26,312 --> 00:43:28,770
Steven Brooks gave you
as a recommendation.
563
00:43:29,065 --> 00:43:32,524
I was wondering if you could
tell me about him.
564
00:43:32,819 --> 00:43:35,357
I don't believe
that asshole gave you my number!
565
00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:40,361
Didn't think
you were so hot, either.
566
00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:02,713
Morning.
567
00:44:04,517 --> 00:44:05,553
What's up?
568
00:44:05,852 --> 00:44:08,310
You said you wanted me
to show you the ropes, so...
569
00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:11,138
Oh, yeah. Right.
570
00:44:18,948 --> 00:44:21,782
- You look like shit, pal.
- You don't look too good yourself.
571
00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:23,908
You all right?
You're red.
572
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:27,196
- Got a fever or somethin'?
- Probably too much rouge.
573
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:29,706
Gotta be a fuckin' Rembrandt
to put on makeup.
574
00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,502
Put your chin up.
There you go. That's good.
575
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:42,218
Remember when
I thought you were Connie?
576
00:44:45,224 --> 00:44:46,465
That's Connie.
577
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:48,596
Good. All right.
Let's take a break.
578
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:53,764
I think I need salt
'cause I keep crampin' up.
579
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:56,934
- Okay, turn the music down.
- Hi.
580
00:44:57,236 --> 00:45:00,525
Hi. I'm Amanda Brooks.
I'm Steve's sister.
581
00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:02,689
He never told me he had a sister.
582
00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:04,779
I'm his half-sister.
583
00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:07,569
Hello, Walter. He never told me
he had a half a sister.
584
00:45:07,872 --> 00:45:10,956
- Have you seen him lately?
- Haven't heard from him in three days.
585
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:13,583
I'm afraid he's disappeared.
586
00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:15,835
- Where?
- Well...
587
00:45:16,130 --> 00:45:18,713
We don't know.
He just...
588
00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:21,045
said he went someplace
to start again.
589
00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:23,176
- Start what?
- His life.
590
00:45:23,471 --> 00:45:25,428
- Like Gauguin.
- Who?
591
00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:28,807
Gauguin, Connie, is a painter...
592
00:45:29,101 --> 00:45:31,889
who gave everything up
and moved to Tahiti.
593
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:34,225
I thought you said
you didn't know where he went.
594
00:45:35,316 --> 00:45:38,150
Right. So I guess you're
really gonna miss him.
595
00:45:38,694 --> 00:45:40,276
Yeah, I guess.
596
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:43,781
- You liked him a lot, didn't you?
- Sure.
597
00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:53,825
- You're lying.
- No, I like him okay.
598
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:57,127
You're just saying that because
I'm his sister. Tell me the truth.
599
00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,246
He's a putz. Sorry.
600
00:45:59,548 --> 00:46:00,664
You slept with him.
601
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:03,334
Sure, and here I am
on the cover of Dream.
602
00:46:03,636 --> 00:46:05,343
I'm the Dream girl for November.
603
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:08,005
- Connie, get changed.
- Yeah.
604
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:09,843
Nice meeting ya.
605
00:46:10,142 --> 00:46:14,182
You know, you're gorgeous. You oughta
be a Dream girl for December.
606
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,221
- See ya.
- Bye.
607
00:46:19,151 --> 00:46:22,064
If there are some of you who may not
have read my memo yesterday,
608
00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:24,855
F&B has added two new additions
609
00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:27,570
to its growing family.
610
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:29,697
Miss Amanda Brooks,
611
00:46:29,996 --> 00:46:31,953
whose pretty feet
612
00:46:32,248 --> 00:46:36,413
will be filling her brother's
prematurely-departed shoes.
613
00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:43,503
And Mr. Dan Jones,
recruited from our West Coast office.
614
00:46:46,595 --> 00:46:48,461
All right.
Let's do some brainstorming.
615
00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:50,630
Who wants to get the ball rolling?
616
00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:54,267
The Mama Weiss commercial
has been very successful.
617
00:46:54,895 --> 00:46:57,353
You know,
that was your brother's account.
618
00:46:59,108 --> 00:47:01,316
I have an idea that
might be just as good,
619
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:03,602
maybe even better,
for Haycrest Foods.
620
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:07,481
Home movies. Probably Dad,
621
00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:10,321
photographing the family
doing family things.
622
00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:12,827
Kids washing the car
on Sunday morning,
623
00:47:13,122 --> 00:47:15,034
squirting each other
with the hose.
624
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:19,293
Mom caught in her curlers
picking up the morning papers.
625
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:22,705
Family dog taking a little nap.
626
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:26,341
Mom serving up some pancakes
to the kids for breakfast.
627
00:47:26,635 --> 00:47:30,549
Kids fighting over the bottle
of Haycrest maple syrup,
628
00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:33,841
which falls, bounces
but does not break.
629
00:47:34,143 --> 00:47:37,727
Amateur-style home movies,
professional message.
630
00:47:38,147 --> 00:47:40,605
Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt,
631
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:43,734
but did you discuss this idea
with Steve?
632
00:47:44,695 --> 00:47:45,695
No. Why?
633
00:47:46,072 --> 00:47:49,782
Well, I'm a little embarrassed
to bring this up,
634
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:52,534
but I was taking some home movies
the other day
635
00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:55,445
and I came up with almost exactly
the same concept.
636
00:47:55,748 --> 00:47:56,748
Really?
637
00:47:56,749 --> 00:47:58,866
I called Steve immediately
and told him about it.
638
00:48:02,004 --> 00:48:05,839
I don't know what to say.
I feel very foolish.
639
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:09,506
Oh, you shouldn't. Always remember
that in this company
640
00:48:09,887 --> 00:48:13,301
it's not authorship that counts,
it's teamwork.
641
00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:24,482
Mr. Edmonds can see you now.
This way.
642
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:42,702
Amanda, I was just thinking.
Since we're both new here,
643
00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:45,165
how about joining... forces?
644
00:48:45,464 --> 00:48:48,002
- Have dinner, talk it over.
- Great idea.
645
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:49,791
- Get to know each other.
- Yeah.
646
00:48:50,094 --> 00:48:52,461
Let me save you
some time and trouble, Dan.
647
00:48:52,763 --> 00:48:56,097
I know all about you.
Your reputation has preceded you.
648
00:48:56,392 --> 00:48:59,976
Don't tell me you're one of those women
who believes everything she hears?
649
00:49:00,271 --> 00:49:02,513
Even if your reputation
hadn't preceded you,
650
00:49:02,815 --> 00:49:04,556
I'd still know all about you.
651
00:49:04,859 --> 00:49:06,475
Is that suede?
652
00:49:07,570 --> 00:49:09,778
You're a pretty smart,
good-looking,
653
00:49:10,072 --> 00:49:11,734
sexual deviate,
654
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:14,866
who has to score in order to prove
he's not inadequate.
655
00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:17,027
Sounds like you've made
this speech before.
656
00:49:17,329 --> 00:49:19,992
Don't get me wrong.
Some of my best friends are deviates.
657
00:49:20,291 --> 00:49:23,534
But save yourself an expensive meal,
whatever's left of your ego,
658
00:49:23,836 --> 00:49:26,123
because there is no way in hell
659
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:29,085
you are ever gonna get me into the sack.
660
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:32,091
And switch aftershaves.
You smell like a salad.
661
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:36,055
Miss Brooks.
662
00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:39,098
I think I'll call you Amanda.
663
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,510
Since you know about the apartment,
664
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:44,555
why don't you let me
give you a personal tour?
665
00:49:44,857 --> 00:49:48,225
It's stocked with champagne,
and it has a great view of the park.
666
00:49:48,527 --> 00:49:50,564
No, thanks.
I'm allergic to grapes
667
00:49:50,863 --> 00:49:55,028
and corporate executives who take credit
for other people's ideas.
668
00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:58,160
- You're not suggesting...
- I'm not suggesting anything.
669
00:49:58,454 --> 00:50:00,867
You and I both know
you never called Steve.
670
00:50:02,124 --> 00:50:04,161
Even if you're right,
and you aren't,
671
00:50:04,460 --> 00:50:07,749
don't you think that's dangerous talk
for a corporate employee?
672
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:12,633
- I think I can afford it.
- Really? What makes you think so?
673
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:15,886
I have a two o'clock appointment
with Sheila Faxton.
674
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:18,547
Still interested
in the Faxton account, Arnold?
675
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:22,467
- Yes.
- I thought so.
676
00:50:50,631 --> 00:50:53,544
- You got a problem, pal?
- Yeah.
677
00:50:53,842 --> 00:50:56,380
If you don't kiss me,
I'm gonna be sick.
678
00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:58,386
Then I think
we both got a problem,
679
00:50:58,681 --> 00:51:01,298
because if I do kiss you,
I'm gonna be sick.
680
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,851
Have a nice day.
681
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:10,606
- Miss Brooks is here to see you.
- All right. Send her in.
682
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:12,108
Go on in.
683
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,255
Amanda Brooks.
684
00:51:49,273 --> 00:51:51,765
Thank you for taking the time
to see me, Miss Faxton.
685
00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:53,318
You're welcome.
686
00:51:53,986 --> 00:51:56,820
If Margo wasn't
a majority stockholder in Faxton,
687
00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:58,914
you wouldn't have made it
past the front door.
688
00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:01,616
Now that you're here,
what can I do for you?
689
00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:03,485
You've got five minutes.
690
00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:06,575
Okay, I'll get right to the point.
691
00:52:06,874 --> 00:52:10,083
I work for Freidkin & Booth, and...
692
00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:13,954
we'd like to represent
Faxton Cosmetics.
693
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:18,626
Horton & Benson represent Faxton.
Why should I change?
694
00:52:20,095 --> 00:52:24,009
Because we're new-fashioned.
Our people are younger and brighter.
695
00:52:24,308 --> 00:52:26,391
And I go with the deal.
696
00:52:27,603 --> 00:52:30,971
Exactly what does that mean,
Miss Brooks?
697
00:52:33,025 --> 00:52:36,644
If you wanna find out, it's gonna take
a lot longer than five minutes.
698
00:52:41,367 --> 00:52:42,367
Okay.
699
00:52:43,744 --> 00:52:47,203
I'm having a party this evening,
a few special friends.
700
00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:50,619
Kelly will give you the address.
701
00:52:51,877 --> 00:52:53,664
Good. Oh, what time?
702
00:52:54,838 --> 00:52:55,999
8:30.
703
00:52:57,716 --> 00:52:58,957
Sharp.
704
00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:04,004
Great.
Oh, what'll I wear?
705
00:53:05,683 --> 00:53:07,015
Whatever you like.
706
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,934
I'll be there.
707
00:53:10,813 --> 00:53:12,679
With bells on.
708
00:53:15,234 --> 00:53:17,351
Eight o'clock in New York City.
This is Kid Kelly.
709
00:53:17,653 --> 00:53:20,066
Here's
"Are You Listening, Lucky" by Joe Ely.
710
00:53:23,701 --> 00:53:26,660
Do you believe this body?
I'll never get used to this.
711
00:53:26,954 --> 00:53:29,617
Be careful of Sheila.
She can be dangerous.
712
00:53:29,915 --> 00:53:33,374
Do I detect a note of authentic concern
over my future welfare?
713
00:53:33,669 --> 00:53:37,253
No, but these days my welfare
seems to depend on yours.
714
00:53:37,756 --> 00:53:40,214
Kathleen Seymour lived with Sheila
for ten years.
715
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:44,253
She developed this fragrance for Faxton
and she always wore it.
716
00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:46,512
Yeah? What happened to her?
717
00:53:46,807 --> 00:53:50,016
She eloped with a French architect.
Sheila never got over it.
718
00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:52,097
You think it prudent to remind her?
719
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,059
Knowing Sheila, I think
it ought to just do the trick.
720
00:53:57,609 --> 00:53:59,441
Give it a whirl.
721
00:54:00,654 --> 00:54:02,395
- Nice touch.
- Thanks.
722
00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:06,112
- What the hell is this?
- It's a body suit.
723
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:08,402
You've taken a million of them
off women.
724
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:11,242
I used to hate these things. Shit.
725
00:54:11,540 --> 00:54:13,702
Snap crotch.
Step into it.
726
00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:16,914
- "Step into it."
- No, no. That's very fragile.
727
00:54:19,423 --> 00:54:22,336
- Snap...
- "Snap crotch. Step into it."
728
00:54:42,529 --> 00:54:45,067
- How're you doin'?
- Good, thanks. How are you?
729
00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:02,796
Excuse me.
730
00:55:07,179 --> 00:55:08,511
Oh, boy.
731
00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:18,433
- Hi. How you doing? Nice party.
- Wow.
732
00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:25,816
- Hello.
- Hello, Sheila.
733
00:55:28,325 --> 00:55:30,738
- What's that you're wearing?
- I don't know.
734
00:55:31,036 --> 00:55:32,836
A little something I pulled
out of the closet.
735
00:55:33,121 --> 00:55:35,955
- Not really sure who designed it.
- I mean the perfume.
736
00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:38,867
Oh, well, that's yours.
737
00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:41,210
- You make it. It's called...
- Yeah.
738
00:55:41,922 --> 00:55:43,129
I know what it's called.
739
00:55:45,717 --> 00:55:48,585
Come on. I'll introduce you
to some friends.
740
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:49,887
Great.
741
00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:57,143
- So, you don't like the perfume?
- I love it.
742
00:55:57,521 --> 00:56:00,059
It just makes me
a little sad sometimes.
743
00:56:00,399 --> 00:56:02,356
And a little angry.
744
00:56:02,734 --> 00:56:06,068
When we get to know each other
a little better...
745
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,446
I'll tell you all about it.
746
00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:09,740
Great.
747
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:16,530
- Willy, Amanda.
- How're you doing, Will?
748
00:56:18,417 --> 00:56:22,161
You were right, Margo.
That Sheila can be dangerous.
749
00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:24,913
After the party,
we went up to her bedroom.
750
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,582
We killed a magnum of champagne
in nothing flat.
751
00:56:27,885 --> 00:56:31,629
We did about ten minutes on the merits
of good advertising and safe sex.
752
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:34,513
Then we started
to undress each other.
753
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,595
- I'll do it.
- Thanks.
754
00:56:45,903 --> 00:56:51,149
You know, I'll just put these
in my purse, okay? Excuse me.
755
00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:56,616
I was seriously
looking forward to what I fantasized
756
00:56:56,914 --> 00:57:00,407
was gonna be a truly unique
sexual experience for me.
757
00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:02,166
But it wasn't turning out that way.
758
00:57:02,461 --> 00:57:04,578
Something was definitely
out of sync.
759
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,963
So I said to myself,
"Steve, baby, come on.
760
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:09,340
You may be a gorgeous female
on the outside,
761
00:57:09,635 --> 00:57:12,218
but inside,
you're still 100 % male.
762
00:57:12,512 --> 00:57:16,176
And Sheila is just another rich,
horny broad looking to get laid.
763
00:57:16,475 --> 00:57:18,762
So go for it.
What's the big deal here?"
764
00:57:20,228 --> 00:57:23,392
- Zipper?
- No, it's a bodysuit.
765
00:57:23,690 --> 00:57:25,977
It has one of those...
You know, those...
766
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:28,518
Those snappy crotches.
767
00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:30,812
Unsnap it.
768
00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:32,855
Oh, yeah. Okay.
769
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:45,619
It got very weird.
Suddenly, I felt...
770
00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:48,789
I felt like
my panty hose were strangling me.
771
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:52,926
I got the shakes.
I couldn't breathe.
772
00:57:53,220 --> 00:57:56,304
And then she started kissing me.
And I fainted.
773
00:57:58,225 --> 00:58:00,592
I am so goddamn confused.
774
00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:03,261
I feel like my brains
are being ripped apart.
775
00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:08,350
- Did you do any drugs?
- You know I never take drugs.
776
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:11,144
That's right.
You never do. Did.
777
00:58:16,618 --> 00:58:17,618
Jesus Christ.
778
00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:21,579
- It really is you, isn't it, Steve?
- Yes! Yes!
779
00:58:21,873 --> 00:58:22,873
Okay.
780
00:58:29,923 --> 00:58:32,415
All right. You want me to tell you
why you couldn't handle it?
781
00:58:32,718 --> 00:58:35,085
Unless you'd like me
to jump off the fucking roof.
782
00:58:35,387 --> 00:58:37,299
- She's gay.
- No kidding.
783
00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:40,260
- And you are a macho, homophobic...
- Homophobic?
784
00:58:40,559 --> 00:58:44,223
Yes, and gay, male or female,
scares the living hell out of you.
785
00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:48,435
Right.
786
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:52,398
- Where are you going?
- To jump off the fucking roof.
787
00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:54,938
I should be so lucky.
788
00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:00,318
Son of a bitch!
789
00:59:08,795 --> 00:59:09,956
Morning.
790
00:59:12,966 --> 00:59:15,299
- Amanda, morning.
- Morning.
791
00:59:15,594 --> 00:59:18,274
I understand you saw the layouts
for the Brewster Mills jobs, right?
792
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:20,971
- Yeah, it sucks.
- Hey, it's only a rough draft.
793
00:59:21,266 --> 00:59:24,054
- Women buy these products, Dan.
- I think I'm aware of that.
794
00:59:24,352 --> 00:59:27,436
No, that's a man's concept
of what appeals to a woman.
795
00:59:27,731 --> 00:59:30,171
Well, all the women I showed it to
thought it looked terrific.
796
00:59:30,317 --> 00:59:33,310
What women? Your secretary?
The ladies in accounting?
797
00:59:33,612 --> 00:59:36,946
What are they gonna say
to Mr. California-suntan-vice-president?
798
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,323
- Arnold thought it looked great.
- Oh, Arnold would.
799
00:59:39,618 --> 00:59:42,861
He's about as sensitive
to a woman's needs as Jack the Ripper.
800
00:59:43,163 --> 00:59:46,281
Hey, maybe you're right,
but why are you so pissed off?
801
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:48,996
I'll tell ya why
I'm so pissed off, buddy boy.
802
00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:52,378
I'm sick and tired of being treated
like a piece of meat.
803
00:59:53,924 --> 00:59:54,924
Ouch.
804
01:00:01,681 --> 01:00:03,547
- Hello?
- Morning.
805
01:00:04,810 --> 01:00:06,017
I called you twice.
806
01:00:06,478 --> 01:00:09,391
Yeah, I just got in.
So, tell me...
807
01:00:09,689 --> 01:00:13,808
have you thought any more about giving
Freidkin & Booth the Faxton account?
808
01:00:14,277 --> 01:00:18,487
Well, you're all business
this morning, aren't you?
809
01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:20,777
Well, it's very important to me.
810
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:25,863
I'll give it some more thought, and when
I decide, I'll give you a call, okay?
811
01:00:28,708 --> 01:00:31,075
- Okay.
- Bye.
812
01:00:31,378 --> 01:00:32,710
- Sheila?
- Yes?
813
01:00:33,213 --> 01:00:37,253
- In the meantime...
- Yeah? In the meantime?
814
01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:42,420
In the meantime,
could we have dinner?
815
01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:44,515
Sure.
816
01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:46,925
We can have dinner
at Sardi's.
817
01:00:47,227 --> 01:00:49,765
Sardi's? Couldn't we go somewhere
a little less public?
818
01:00:50,188 --> 01:00:51,770
Well, that's no fun.
819
01:00:52,065 --> 01:00:53,852
I want to show you off.
820
01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:56,142
I'll pick you up at 7:30.
821
01:00:56,611 --> 01:00:57,772
Bye.
822
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:09,451
- Come on.
- Where we going?
823
01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:11,240
- We're going to the gym.
- Why?
824
01:01:11,543 --> 01:01:13,500
I'm gonna whip your ass.
825
01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:28,758
Okay. Game to 11?
826
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:35,439
- I'll spot you two.
- Game to 11. You can shove your two.
827
01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:47,411
Ray.
828
01:01:48,747 --> 01:01:50,613
Don't get nervous.
829
01:01:59,007 --> 01:02:02,000
Come on, Walter. You're not gonna
let a girl beat you, are you?
830
01:02:20,820 --> 01:02:22,356
Shake hands with fate!
831
01:02:24,032 --> 01:02:25,864
Call the foul!
Call the stupid foul!
832
01:02:26,868 --> 01:02:28,279
- Come on!
- Tie score.
833
01:02:30,121 --> 01:02:31,657
Next basket wins.
834
01:02:37,671 --> 01:02:39,537
- Yes!
- Yeah!
835
01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:42,331
- Whoa! Bravo!
- Nice game.
836
01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:44,796
- Way to go.
- First time you beat me.
837
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,257
What are you talking about?
I never played you before.
838
01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:49,475
Yeah, that's what I said.
First time you beat me.
839
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:51,348
And the last time.
840
01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:54,386
Well, you played
pretty damn good for a girl.
841
01:02:54,688 --> 01:02:57,351
Don't be so fucking condescending,
Walter.
842
01:02:57,649 --> 01:03:00,062
I play pretty damn good for a man.
843
01:03:07,284 --> 01:03:08,284
Ouch!
844
01:03:12,330 --> 01:03:13,662
Miss Faxton?
845
01:03:13,999 --> 01:03:16,286
- Bring me the wine list.
- Yes, of course.
846
01:03:16,876 --> 01:03:18,242
Unless you'd rather choose?
847
01:03:19,212 --> 01:03:21,249
Oh, no. It's your evening.
848
01:03:23,008 --> 01:03:25,341
You know,
I think we have a problem.
849
01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:26,876
What's that?
850
01:03:27,679 --> 01:03:30,262
No give-and-take.
We both want to be the aggressor.
851
01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:33,098
Somebody's gotta be the man, right?
852
01:03:33,393 --> 01:03:35,180
What are we gonna do about it?
853
01:03:37,397 --> 01:03:41,016
- Flip a coin.
- Ha, ha. I'm serious.
854
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,569
You know,
if you were really serious,
855
01:03:45,864 --> 01:03:48,072
you wouldn't have taken me
to this place.
856
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:51,696
Where would you
like me to take you?
857
01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:02,460
You come here often?
858
01:04:02,756 --> 01:04:04,964
I used to when I was a man.
859
01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:08,383
When was that?
860
01:04:09,262 --> 01:04:11,470
Not so long ago in another life.
861
01:04:12,724 --> 01:04:14,090
Did you like being a man?
862
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:16,220
Oh, yeah.
863
01:04:19,939 --> 01:04:21,521
What's it like?
864
01:04:22,734 --> 01:04:24,145
Compared to what?
865
01:04:25,445 --> 01:04:27,232
Being a woman.
866
01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:31,399
Don't get me wrong.
I'm not...
867
01:04:32,660 --> 01:04:34,993
You know, being a woman...
868
01:04:35,955 --> 01:04:37,912
it's not half bad.
869
01:04:39,501 --> 01:04:42,084
It's being both
that is the bitch.
870
01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:45,079
I'll drink to that.
871
01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:49,922
- How you doing, ladies?
- Aw, fuck off.
872
01:04:50,220 --> 01:04:53,140
What a shame. Didn't your mother tell
you nice girls don't talk like that?
873
01:04:53,390 --> 01:04:56,258
Bet you don't talk like that,
doll face, huh?
874
01:04:57,143 --> 01:05:00,602
Only to assholes who don't pay attention
when they're told to fuck off.
875
01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:03,605
Oh, I should have guessed.
Which one likes to be the man, huh?
876
01:05:04,818 --> 01:05:05,899
Tonight it's my turn.
877
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:14,608
You talk like a man.
You fight like one.
878
01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:17,494
Guess you really must have been one.
879
01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:19,075
Come on.
880
01:05:19,374 --> 01:05:22,538
Let me take you someplace
where you can be yourself.
881
01:05:23,294 --> 01:05:25,126
Wherever that is.
882
01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:00,745
- Go ahead.
- Okay.
883
01:06:03,418 --> 01:06:04,909
Some place.
884
01:06:06,546 --> 01:06:08,333
Good evening, ladies.
May I take your order?
885
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:10,623
- Two margaritas.
- Right away.
886
01:06:10,925 --> 01:06:13,838
- See? That wasn't so difficult?
- For who?
887
01:06:17,891 --> 01:06:21,009
You can tell Freidkin
he can have the Faxton account.
888
01:06:24,189 --> 01:06:26,055
Thanks, Sheila. Thanks.
889
01:06:27,484 --> 01:06:28,850
Wanna dance?
890
01:06:29,903 --> 01:06:31,690
Yeah. Sure.
891
01:06:32,822 --> 01:06:34,188
Sure.
892
01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:44,582
- Who's gonna lead?
- You are.
893
01:06:44,876 --> 01:06:45,876
Okay.
894
01:06:47,253 --> 01:06:49,370
Geez. I forgot how to do this.
895
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:53,841
This doesn't feel right.
896
01:06:55,220 --> 01:06:57,837
- I can't.
- Then I will.
897
01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,971
I really wanna work this out.
898
01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:04,055
- Okay.
- I'm terribly attracted to you.
899
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:05,595
Oh, God.
900
01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:15,859
Sheila, don't do this.
901
01:07:18,243 --> 01:07:22,203
It's not that easy. You'll have to give me
one good reason why I shouldn't.
902
01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:29,372
Listen to me.
903
01:07:34,717 --> 01:07:37,004
I only came on to you
to get the Faxton account.
904
01:07:38,596 --> 01:07:40,007
That's the only reason?
905
01:07:41,808 --> 01:07:42,808
Yeah.
906
01:07:47,772 --> 01:07:49,229
You're cruel like a man.
907
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:57,984
Sheila, listen to me.
Let me explain to you.
908
01:07:58,283 --> 01:08:00,445
- Listen, you don't understand.
- But I do.
909
01:08:01,536 --> 01:08:04,244
- You having a problem, Miss Faxton?
- Hey, fuck off, okay?
910
01:08:04,539 --> 01:08:06,997
- It's all right, Nancy.
- No, it's not all right, Nancy.
911
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:09,033
I don't like being grabbed.
912
01:08:13,881 --> 01:08:14,962
Ow! Ouch!
913
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:22,425
Oh, geez!
914
01:08:47,874 --> 01:08:50,491
As you could see,
I'm not doing very good so far.
915
01:08:53,129 --> 01:08:55,997
Would it be kosher
if I prayed to You for a little help?
916
01:09:02,472 --> 01:09:05,761
Well, I'm not giving up yet.
917
01:09:10,563 --> 01:09:13,101
It's 3 a.m. in the Big Apple,
and coming to you direct
918
01:09:13,399 --> 01:09:16,233
from the Gahena Casino,
located on the Hades turnpike,
919
01:09:16,527 --> 01:09:19,235
a stone's throw from the centre
of the Earth, the molten music
920
01:09:19,530 --> 01:09:22,364
of Judas Iscariot
and his 30-piece orchestra.
921
01:09:24,118 --> 01:09:26,155
What is that smell?
922
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:28,161
Brimstone.
923
01:09:28,456 --> 01:09:31,164
You'll get used to it
after a few hundred years.
924
01:09:31,584 --> 01:09:32,825
Who in hell are you?
925
01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:37,171
Who in hell do you think I am?
926
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,046
You look like the devil.
927
01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,712
Well, you don't look
so good yourself.
928
01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:48,348
Just a little
netherworld humour there.
929
01:09:50,103 --> 01:09:53,437
Hilarious.
What do you want?
930
01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:57,943
You.
931
01:09:58,778 --> 01:10:00,360
- Your time's up.
- Says who?
932
01:10:00,655 --> 01:10:03,238
Have you found one female
who likes Steve Brooks?
933
01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:05,365
Well, I haven't
talked to them all yet.
934
01:10:05,868 --> 01:10:09,407
You'd just be wasting your time.
You see, I know who they are
935
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:14,826
and they all think that Steve Brooks
is a selfish, inconsiderate,
936
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:17,620
unredeemable male chauvinist pig.
937
01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:20,442
I don't believe you! You're not
to be trusted. You're the devil.
938
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:24,214
Anyway, you know, He/She didn't give me
any timetable on this thing.
939
01:10:24,512 --> 01:10:26,424
- Look, you hate being a woman, right?
- Well...
940
01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:30,512
There's no fun in PMS
or shaving your legs.
941
01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:32,426
And what have you got
to look forward to?
942
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:35,893
Guys like you used to be,
always trying to get into your pants?
943
01:10:36,190 --> 01:10:38,603
Cellulite, menopause.
944
01:10:38,901 --> 01:10:41,314
I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
945
01:10:42,530 --> 01:10:45,773
Right now there's a shortage
of good recruiters.
946
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,734
I bet there's not a man alive
who wouldn't sell his soul
947
01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:51,949
for the chance
to jump in the sack with you.
948
01:10:52,248 --> 01:10:54,410
Forget it!
949
01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:58,791
Sooner or later
I'm going to get you anyway.
950
01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:03,253
Come along now, and I'll guarantee you
a hell of a time.
951
01:11:03,551 --> 01:11:08,387
If you're gonna get me anyway, I'd just
as soon it was later and not sooner.
952
01:11:08,681 --> 01:11:13,221
Terrible sight, to see a beautiful body
like yours go through a meltdown.
953
01:11:14,729 --> 01:11:16,937
- What?
- Tell you what.
954
01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:19,644
You want to hedge your bet with me?
955
01:11:19,942 --> 01:11:22,355
Make eternity a little less...
956
01:11:23,362 --> 01:11:24,569
hellish?
957
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:28,816
What did you have in mind?
958
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:31,280
Did you see Rosemary's Baby?
959
01:11:31,579 --> 01:11:34,413
Yeah.
What? No! No!
960
01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:38,496
I can't, see?
I'm expecting my periods.
961
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:40,661
I can't. I can't.
962
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:48,422
It's straight up eight o'clock.
- What?
963
01:11:48,721 --> 01:11:50,801
from the centre
of the known universe, New York City.
964
01:11:51,057 --> 01:11:53,640
This is Ross Brittain,
and we're locked into a pretty nice day.
965
01:11:53,935 --> 01:11:57,599
Sunshine, blue skies, so check
your body parts and let's get busy!
966
01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,939
Sorry I'm late.
967
01:12:12,119 --> 01:12:15,032
I've called this meeting
to congratulate Amanda
968
01:12:15,706 --> 01:12:17,789
for convincing Miss Faxton
969
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:21,327
that F&B is the best agency
to handle Faxton Cosmetics
970
01:12:21,629 --> 01:12:24,292
and to hear personally
from Miss Faxton
971
01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:29,552
what ideas she might have
to put us on the right track.
972
01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:31,757
Miss Faxton?
973
01:12:32,849 --> 01:12:35,182
Well, obviously, I have some ideas.
974
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:39,762
Faxton Cosmetics is the keystone
to Faxton, Inc
975
01:12:40,273 --> 01:12:43,266
and I intend to work hands-on
with the account executive.
976
01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:48,279
Therefore, I expect you to give me
your most qualified, most experienced
977
01:12:48,573 --> 01:12:50,735
and most political executive.
978
01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:54,948
Naturally.
Do you have someone in mind?
979
01:12:55,246 --> 01:12:57,283
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
980
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:01,120
What about Dan?
981
01:13:03,796 --> 01:13:06,129
- Oh, I'd be honoured.
- Fine.
982
01:13:06,424 --> 01:13:07,790
- Good.
- Then it's settled.
983
01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:10,175
Absolutely. I understand.
984
01:13:11,470 --> 01:13:13,336
Congratulations, Dan.
985
01:13:13,764 --> 01:13:16,928
Thanks.
I want you on the team.
986
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:20,386
Oh, good. Why don't we discuss it
over dinner...
987
01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:21,938
at Sardi's?
988
01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:25,600
Unless you prefer to go someplace
a little more private.
989
01:13:25,902 --> 01:13:28,861
No. Sardi's is great.
990
01:13:29,655 --> 01:13:31,021
Good.
991
01:13:31,324 --> 01:13:33,361
Then I can show you off.
992
01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:40,990
Amanda, I located Rebecca Heckencamp
who is now Mrs. Rebecca Sanderson,
993
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:42,999
still living in Allentown.
994
01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:44,876
Good. Get her.
995
01:13:47,089 --> 01:13:50,958
Amanda, something's come up, and
I can't have dinner with you tonight.
996
01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:54,219
Sheila Faxton wants to talk to you
about the account, huh?
997
01:13:54,513 --> 01:13:56,379
Yeah. I'm really disappointed.
998
01:13:56,682 --> 01:13:59,595
I was looking forward
to getting to know you better.
999
01:14:00,227 --> 01:14:02,219
Next week, maybe?
Monday? Tuesday?
1000
01:14:02,521 --> 01:14:03,978
Look, don't push it Dan, okay?
1001
01:14:05,775 --> 01:14:07,061
Okay.
1002
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:11,190
Schmuck.
1003
01:14:11,489 --> 01:14:12,900
Rebecca Sanderson.
1004
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,736
- Rebecca.
- Yes?
1005
01:14:16,035 --> 01:14:19,324
I'm doing a book
about the advertising business
1006
01:14:19,622 --> 01:14:21,830
and the men who've been
successful in the field.
1007
01:14:22,124 --> 01:14:24,958
I understand that you went
to high school with Mr. Steven Brooks.
1008
01:14:25,252 --> 01:14:27,960
Steven Brooks? The prick
that knocked me up? I hate his guts!
1009
01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:30,713
Really? I'm shocked because,
you know...
1010
01:14:31,008 --> 01:14:32,965
that's not at all
the way he remembers it.
1011
01:14:33,260 --> 01:14:36,844
Well, he has a lousy memory.
If I see him, I'll rip his balls off!
1012
01:14:37,139 --> 01:14:39,426
And you still feel that way
after all these years?
1013
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:42,217
- You bet. The son of a bitch...
- Oh, I understand.
1014
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:44,261
I just can't print it.
1015
01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:50,893
Getting down to the bottom
of the barrel, slick.
1016
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:59,276
So it looks like Danny boy's gonna be
tied up for the weekend, huh?
1017
01:15:00,287 --> 01:15:02,370
Tied up is a definite possibility.
1018
01:15:03,541 --> 01:15:07,251
- Wanna go to Duke's?
- Sure. We'll shoot some straight pool.
1019
01:15:09,588 --> 01:15:11,545
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1020
01:15:25,438 --> 01:15:27,430
Hello?
- Hello, Brenda?
1021
01:15:27,732 --> 01:15:30,145
- Who is this?
- I'm calling about Steven Brooks...
1022
01:15:30,443 --> 01:15:32,526
- Go fuck yourself.
- Hello? Brenda?
1023
01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:42,410
Shit!
1024
01:15:45,916 --> 01:15:48,454
Did you call your hairdresser?
1025
01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:50,790
He can't take you
until next Wednesday.
1026
01:15:51,088 --> 01:15:54,627
What did... Fuck!
All's I want is a fucking haircut!
1027
01:16:23,537 --> 01:16:27,121
- What can I do for you?
- I'll take a ham on rye.
1028
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,246
This is a barber shop,
not a delicatessen.
1029
01:16:30,544 --> 01:16:33,036
Oh. Well, then,
why don't you give me a haircut?
1030
01:16:38,427 --> 01:16:40,885
Laura, Higgins.
Wife still out of town?
1031
01:16:44,725 --> 01:16:48,719
Hey, Walt. Sorry I'm so late.
Had one of those psycho cab drivers.
1032
01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:51,305
What?
1033
01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:54,308
Oh, yeah. I had a haircut.
1034
01:16:54,610 --> 01:16:56,602
- Like it?
- Yeah, it's...
1035
01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:58,784
It's just such a surprise.
You don't have any...
1036
01:16:58,948 --> 01:17:00,468
What happened?
You looked so beautiful.
1037
01:17:00,741 --> 01:17:03,199
It took me an hour
to blow it dry every morning.
1038
01:17:03,494 --> 01:17:05,451
- Hi, Amanda.
- Yo, Casanova.
1039
01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:07,703
- What are you drinking?
- Bud.
1040
01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:09,371
Two Buds.
1041
01:17:12,795 --> 01:17:15,128
- Where'd you learn to shoot?
- Misspent youth.
1042
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,130
I bet you could beat Steve.
1043
01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,251
I doubt it.
1044
01:17:23,139 --> 01:17:25,739
Hey, that's her. She's the one
I was telling you about last night.
1045
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:27,302
- Her?
- Yeah.
1046
01:17:27,601 --> 01:17:29,342
Cut her hair.
That's more like it.
1047
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,978
- Last night I thought she was a girl.
- Hey, guys.
1048
01:17:33,190 --> 01:17:35,898
- Let it go, Walter.
- She hit you when you wasn't looking?
1049
01:17:36,193 --> 01:17:38,913
- You gotta be kidding me. Her?
- We're in the middle of a game here.
1050
01:17:39,029 --> 01:17:40,395
Forget about it, Walter.
1051
01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:43,441
Hey, Walter, you with her...
him... whatever she is?
1052
01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:46,576
- Yeah. You got a problem with that?
- Looks like you got the problem.
1053
01:17:47,746 --> 01:17:50,033
- We should take the problem outside.
- Let's go do it.
1054
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:34,874
Hey, doll face,
did somebody hurt you?
1055
01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:40,747
Hi.
1056
01:18:42,843 --> 01:18:44,960
Okay. Come on, bud.
1057
01:18:45,262 --> 01:18:48,596
For Christ's fucking sake,
Walter, you're really gaining weight.
1058
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:51,850
How you doing there,
Mrs. Wetherspoon?
1059
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,852
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Okay, you.
1060
01:18:56,023 --> 01:18:57,184
Oh, yeah.
1061
01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:03,148
- Okay.
- Amanda?
1062
01:19:03,447 --> 01:19:05,029
Yeah, Walter. It's me.
1063
01:19:10,955 --> 01:19:12,071
Hi.
1064
01:19:13,207 --> 01:19:15,665
Oh, God.
Hey, cut it out, Walter.
1065
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,326
Jesus!
1066
01:19:17,628 --> 01:19:19,210
Okay. Come on, bud.
1067
01:19:19,505 --> 01:19:21,588
I got you. I got you.
1068
01:19:21,882 --> 01:19:23,919
I got you now.
Okay.
1069
01:19:24,218 --> 01:19:25,800
Here you go.
1070
01:19:27,054 --> 01:19:28,054
Walter?
1071
01:19:41,944 --> 01:19:43,776
Okay, come on, Walter.
Take off your pants.
1072
01:19:44,613 --> 01:19:47,105
Why, Miss Brooks,
what would your brother say?
1073
01:19:47,408 --> 01:19:49,650
You know you're too drunk to get home.
1074
01:19:49,952 --> 01:19:51,659
- You'll have to sleep here.
- Okay.
1075
01:19:51,954 --> 01:19:55,322
So we'll take off your pants
and then...
1076
01:19:55,624 --> 01:19:57,866
Come on, Walter, quit fooling around now.
1077
01:19:58,168 --> 01:20:00,956
- Okay. I'll help.
- Get into bed.
1078
01:20:01,255 --> 01:20:04,248
Give me a hand here, Walter.
Come on, pretty boy. That's it.
1079
01:20:10,264 --> 01:20:12,096
Okay. Quit fucking around.
1080
01:20:13,017 --> 01:20:15,930
Okay.
1081
01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:23,980
- Okay, come on. Get in the bed, Walter.
- Yes, dear.
1082
01:20:28,282 --> 01:20:29,523
Oh, God.
1083
01:20:36,582 --> 01:20:39,871
- The lights are on.
- Yeah, I know the light's on.
1084
01:20:41,337 --> 01:20:44,580
What do you think I am? You think
I don't know when the light is on?
1085
01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,712
Schmuck.
1086
01:20:51,221 --> 01:20:52,221
Walter.
1087
01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:56,766
Get your hand off my ass.
1088
01:20:58,395 --> 01:20:59,761
You sure?
1089
01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:11,072
No more hanky-panky, Walter.
1090
01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,529
No more hanky-panky.
1091
01:21:26,215 --> 01:21:28,502
I'm up! I'm up.
1092
01:21:35,140 --> 01:21:36,301
Oh, yeah.
1093
01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:43,059
- Hello.
- Mrs. Brofman here to see you.
1094
01:21:43,357 --> 01:21:45,770
What?
What the hell time is it?
1095
01:21:46,068 --> 01:21:47,855
It's a quarter to ten.
1096
01:21:50,072 --> 01:21:51,904
Okay. Send her up.
1097
01:21:52,741 --> 01:21:55,154
- Go on up.
- Thanks, Mac.
1098
01:21:57,621 --> 01:21:59,112
Ridiculous.
1099
01:22:00,791 --> 01:22:02,453
Oh, my God Alm...
1100
01:22:10,300 --> 01:22:12,132
Walter, where are your shorts?
1101
01:22:18,434 --> 01:22:21,472
When you went to bed last night
you were wearing your shorts.
1102
01:22:21,770 --> 01:22:25,389
- Now, when did you take them off?
- I don't recall the exact moment.
1103
01:22:25,691 --> 01:22:27,683
And wipe that stupid smile
off your face.
1104
01:22:27,985 --> 01:22:30,318
Walter, how come
you took your shorts off?
1105
01:22:31,447 --> 01:22:33,905
- Amanda, don't you remember?
- Remember what, Walter?
1106
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:36,782
- Remember what?
- Well, we made love.
1107
01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:45,579
Son of a bitch.
1108
01:22:48,005 --> 01:22:50,622
- Good morning.
- What's so fucking good about it?
1109
01:22:51,675 --> 01:22:55,043
You're in a great mood.
What's the matter? Got your period?
1110
01:22:55,345 --> 01:22:57,382
I should be so fucking lucky.
1111
01:22:57,681 --> 01:22:59,422
Yeah? What happened?
1112
01:23:01,810 --> 01:23:03,267
It's a long story.
1113
01:23:04,730 --> 01:23:06,562
Just give me the punch line.
1114
01:23:09,568 --> 01:23:11,150
I lost my virginity.
1115
01:23:13,906 --> 01:23:15,738
Obviously without your consent.
1116
01:23:16,033 --> 01:23:17,593
I passed out.
I don't remember anything.
1117
01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:20,360
- Who's the unlucky man?
- Hi, Margo.
1118
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,078
Walter...
1119
01:23:23,373 --> 01:23:27,037
Well, it's not exactly Romeo and Juliet,
but, then, I always say to each his own.
1120
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:29,336
- Amanda, we gotta talk.
- I don't talk to rapists.
1121
01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:32,084
- Rapists?
- I was drunk, passed out.
1122
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:34,465
- She loved it!
- Bullshit, Walt!
1123
01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:36,877
Don't you give me
that macho, self-serving crap.
1124
01:23:37,179 --> 01:23:39,717
I was unconscious, buddy boy.
I didn't love anything.
1125
01:23:40,015 --> 01:23:41,615
I was helpless.
You took advantage of me.
1126
01:23:41,808 --> 01:23:43,808
I have never taken advantage
of anybody in my life.
1127
01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:47,019
That's what all you guys say. You take
a girl out for dinner, get her drunk.
1128
01:23:47,314 --> 01:23:50,603
It's date rape, Walt. Read the paper.
It happens all the time.
1129
01:23:50,901 --> 01:23:52,893
- Well, not here last night.
- I don't believe it.
1130
01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:56,154
I mean, after all the years
we've been buddies, it's like...
1131
01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:59,111
You know, guys like you are
what's wrong with society.
1132
01:23:59,409 --> 01:24:02,263
- All the years we've been buddies?
- What the fuck are you talking about?
1133
01:24:02,287 --> 01:24:03,869
Don't try to change
the subject here.
1134
01:24:04,164 --> 01:24:07,123
Do you realize every six minutes
a woman is raped in this country?
1135
01:24:07,417 --> 01:24:10,097
- I didn't realize. I'm sorry.
- You didn't realize. Why should you?
1136
01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:14,252
You're one of the
assholes responsible for the statistic!
1137
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:16,270
- Wait a goddamn minute...
- For what, Walt?
1138
01:24:16,510 --> 01:24:19,469
For you to rape some other poor,
innocent, unsuspecting female?
1139
01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:21,504
I was a virgin, goddamn you!
1140
01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:28,223
This morning,
the body of Steven Brooks,
1141
01:24:28,522 --> 01:24:30,058
New York advertising executive
1142
01:24:30,357 --> 01:24:32,474
was discovered floating
in the East River.
1143
01:24:32,776 --> 01:24:36,360
According to the police, Brooks
had been shot three times in the chest.
1144
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:40,114
We'll continue to report on the facts...
1145
01:24:40,409 --> 01:24:44,528
And, when we return, Ken Lomax will
bring you the entertainment report.
1146
01:24:54,548 --> 01:24:55,880
Hello?
1147
01:25:03,265 --> 01:25:05,097
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure.
1148
01:25:21,033 --> 01:25:22,865
Well, who was that?
1149
01:25:27,831 --> 01:25:29,663
It was the police.
1150
01:25:34,171 --> 01:25:36,504
I gotta identify my body.
1151
01:25:40,552 --> 01:25:44,171
Sorry to do this to you, but apparently
you're his only living relative.
1152
01:25:49,227 --> 01:25:52,937
This isn't going to be very pleasant.
The body's been in the water for days.
1153
01:25:57,027 --> 01:25:59,235
God, I look awful.
1154
01:26:06,620 --> 01:26:08,577
Holy shit.
1155
01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:14,163
Jesus H. Christ.
1156
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:16,828
- Miss Brooks...
- Oh, Higgins.
1157
01:26:17,130 --> 01:26:20,714
- The police came with a search warrant.
- What?
1158
01:26:21,009 --> 01:26:24,502
If they arrest you, please don't say
anything about the little redhead.
1159
01:26:24,805 --> 01:26:27,138
What makes you think
they're gonna arrest me?
1160
01:26:27,432 --> 01:26:29,264
They found your gun.
1161
01:26:34,564 --> 01:26:38,274
This whole thing feels
like a bad dream.
1162
01:26:43,907 --> 01:26:47,446
Are you really sure
that they can't trace that gun?
1163
01:26:48,995 --> 01:26:51,078
Not a chance.
1164
01:26:52,999 --> 01:26:54,206
You bitch!
1165
01:26:54,501 --> 01:26:56,618
You planted that gun
in my apartment.
1166
01:26:58,296 --> 01:27:00,913
The gun's not registered!
They'll never trace it!
1167
01:27:01,842 --> 01:27:04,380
You killed me, Margo.
I'm not taking the rap for it.
1168
01:27:04,678 --> 01:27:07,512
What are you gonna tell them?
"You're not really a woman"?
1169
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:10,890
- You're Steve Brooks back from the dead?
- I got you to believe me, didn't I?
1170
01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:18,894
They'll lock you in a padded cell
and throw away the key!
1171
01:27:19,192 --> 01:27:22,606
You'll never find that one female
who's gonna get you into heaven.
1172
01:27:25,532 --> 01:27:26,613
How much money you got?
1173
01:27:27,784 --> 01:27:30,572
Three thousand.
It's in my purse on the bed.
1174
01:27:33,415 --> 01:27:37,830
Direct from New York
to Los Angeles, at gate number one.
1175
01:27:47,929 --> 01:27:51,047
Miss Brooks.
Going someplace?
1176
01:27:52,142 --> 01:27:54,475
No, I just like
to hang around airports.
1177
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:57,478
You're under arrest for the murder
of Steven Brooks.
1178
01:27:57,773 --> 01:27:59,605
You invited Mr. Brooks to the party.
1179
01:27:59,900 --> 01:28:01,641
Yes, but he never showed up.
1180
01:28:01,943 --> 01:28:04,731
- She's lying!
- Your witness.
1181
01:28:05,030 --> 01:28:07,898
- When did you meet the defendant?
- The morning after the party.
1182
01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:12,698
What did she tell you?
1183
01:28:12,996 --> 01:28:15,830
That she was Steve Brooks
reincarnated as a woman.
1184
01:28:17,209 --> 01:28:19,576
- What else did she tell you?
- That I shot him.
1185
01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:22,791
Who?
1186
01:28:23,465 --> 01:28:24,922
Him. Her.
1187
01:28:25,258 --> 01:28:28,672
- What else did she say?
- That God had sent him back.
1188
01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:32,638
- Would you mind speaking up, please?
- That God had sent him back
1189
01:28:32,933 --> 01:28:35,300
and that he couldn't get into heaven
until he found
1190
01:28:35,602 --> 01:28:38,219
one female who liked him.
1191
01:28:38,522 --> 01:28:42,061
- Him?
- Steve. Her.
1192
01:28:45,487 --> 01:28:46,773
But she was drunk.
1193
01:28:47,072 --> 01:28:48,859
No, I wasn't that drunk.
1194
01:28:52,619 --> 01:28:55,908
Do you swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth?
1195
01:28:56,206 --> 01:28:58,823
- So help me, God.
- State your name.
1196
01:29:01,044 --> 01:29:02,205
Steven Brooks.
1197
01:29:04,381 --> 01:29:07,419
It's been five months, Walter.
You gotta get me outta here.
1198
01:29:07,717 --> 01:29:09,174
I'm doing the best that I can.
1199
01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:11,085
- So how do you feel?
- How do I feel?
1200
01:29:11,388 --> 01:29:13,505
How the fuck do you think I feel,
Walter?
1201
01:29:13,807 --> 01:29:15,594
I'm gonna have a baby.
1202
01:29:15,892 --> 01:29:19,010
It's your fucking fault. I'd like
to strangle you. That's how I feel.
1203
01:29:19,312 --> 01:29:22,771
Look, I'm sorry. I don't know if you
recall, but you were very cooperative.
1204
01:29:23,066 --> 01:29:26,559
I simply do not choose
to accept that fact, Walter.
1205
01:29:26,862 --> 01:29:31,027
Drunk or sober, do you think
that for one cotton-picking second
1206
01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:35,659
Steve Brooks would ever even consider
making love to another man,
1207
01:29:35,954 --> 01:29:37,741
let alone his best friend?
1208
01:29:38,999 --> 01:29:41,161
Steve Brooks? No.
1209
01:29:41,459 --> 01:29:44,952
- You still don't believe I'm Steve.
- I don't, and I'm gonna tell you why.
1210
01:29:45,255 --> 01:29:48,623
Three years ago, your birthday.
I sent you a little brunette.
1211
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,383
- You called her Aztec.
- Hey!
1212
01:29:51,678 --> 01:29:53,886
Look, I don't know
how you know about that.
1213
01:29:55,015 --> 01:29:57,849
If Steve Brooks did get pregnant,
he'd have an abortion.
1214
01:29:58,143 --> 01:29:59,884
I nearly did.
1215
01:30:00,186 --> 01:30:01,722
Why'd you change your mind?
1216
01:30:03,064 --> 01:30:05,272
You're not gonna believe this, but...
1217
01:30:05,567 --> 01:30:07,354
there I was, lying on that table,
1218
01:30:07,652 --> 01:30:10,395
and I had my feet
in those stirrupy things,
1219
01:30:10,697 --> 01:30:15,533
and all of a sudden,
it just came to me in a flash
1220
01:30:15,827 --> 01:30:20,242
that maybe the only reason I wasn't
roasting somewhere in hell was...
1221
01:30:22,918 --> 01:30:25,626
was because God wanted me
to have this baby.
1222
01:30:26,796 --> 01:30:28,833
That's the only reason?
1223
01:30:29,132 --> 01:30:31,840
And making
the Guinness Book of Records.
1224
01:30:32,135 --> 01:30:34,218
I don't know.
I guess you really are Steve.
1225
01:30:35,597 --> 01:30:38,590
- What's wrong?
- I don't know. Oh, God!
1226
01:30:40,894 --> 01:30:45,559
Dr. Gold
to O.B. room 501, please.
1227
01:31:15,595 --> 01:31:16,756
Hey, Walter.
1228
01:31:18,848 --> 01:31:20,464
How'd you know it was me?
1229
01:31:20,767 --> 01:31:22,178
Old Spice.
1230
01:31:22,852 --> 01:31:26,471
And you tiptoe louder
than Gregory Hines tap-dances.
1231
01:31:28,400 --> 01:31:30,266
Don't punch him.
1232
01:31:38,827 --> 01:31:41,365
I talked to the doctor today,
you know?
1233
01:31:41,663 --> 01:31:43,370
Oh, yeah?
1234
01:31:44,499 --> 01:31:45,910
What'd he say?
1235
01:31:48,044 --> 01:31:49,876
He's worried about you.
1236
01:31:53,299 --> 01:31:55,416
Says you got high blood pressure
1237
01:31:56,553 --> 01:31:57,553
and...
1238
01:31:58,596 --> 01:31:59,962
diabetes.
1239
01:32:02,726 --> 01:32:05,685
I'm a big girl, Walt.
Cut to the chase.
1240
01:32:08,314 --> 01:32:12,024
He said that if you carry
the baby to full term...
1241
01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:14,355
that there's a possibility
that you might...
1242
01:32:19,951 --> 01:32:20,951
Die?
1243
01:32:24,664 --> 01:32:26,155
What about the baby, Walter?
1244
01:32:27,542 --> 01:32:29,659
Well, see, that's the thing.
1245
01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:32,453
He said that if you decide
not to have the baby, then...
1246
01:32:32,756 --> 01:32:35,874
Oh, no.
I'm having the baby, Walter.
1247
01:32:37,594 --> 01:32:38,755
Can we talk about this?
1248
01:32:39,054 --> 01:32:41,262
No, we can't talk about this.
1249
01:32:47,937 --> 01:32:51,726
You can't imagine what it's like
1250
01:32:52,025 --> 01:32:53,937
to have a life inside you.
1251
01:32:54,402 --> 01:32:58,772
And it's growing, Walter.
It's moving.
1252
01:32:59,074 --> 01:33:01,316
It lives because I live.
1253
01:33:03,745 --> 01:33:05,953
And when I die...
1254
01:33:07,832 --> 01:33:09,039
there's a part of me that...
1255
01:33:11,127 --> 01:33:12,459
goes on.
1256
01:33:18,843 --> 01:33:20,675
It's a truly amazing thing.
1257
01:33:23,389 --> 01:33:26,848
It is an honest-to-God miracle.
1258
01:33:31,981 --> 01:33:34,598
Which reminds me, you know...
1259
01:33:34,901 --> 01:33:38,770
just in case
what the doctor says is true...
1260
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:40,483
you know...
1261
01:33:43,368 --> 01:33:46,577
How do you feel
about being a full-time father?
1262
01:33:49,499 --> 01:33:50,865
Great.
1263
01:33:51,167 --> 01:33:53,033
I knew you wouldn't
let me down, buddy.
1264
01:33:54,879 --> 01:33:56,040
Well...
1265
01:33:57,799 --> 01:34:00,507
don't you think
we ought to get married first?
1266
01:34:02,428 --> 01:34:05,216
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure.
1267
01:34:08,476 --> 01:34:10,763
- I gotta get some rest here, Walt.
- Okay.
1268
01:34:14,274 --> 01:34:15,765
Good night, honey.
1269
01:34:16,693 --> 01:34:17,774
"Honey"?
1270
01:34:18,278 --> 01:34:20,941
Amanda, do you take Walter
to be your lawful wedded husband?
1271
01:34:29,247 --> 01:34:30,247
I do.
1272
01:34:32,500 --> 01:34:34,940
And do you, Walter, take Amanda
to be your lawful wedded wife?
1273
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:37,127
I do.
1274
01:34:38,173 --> 01:34:40,460
- I do.
- The rings.
1275
01:34:42,343 --> 01:34:43,629
Oh, yeah.
1276
01:34:47,682 --> 01:34:50,470
With this ring I thee wed.
1277
01:34:56,691 --> 01:34:58,523
There ya go, Walt.
1278
01:35:01,362 --> 01:35:03,194
I now pronounce you
1279
01:35:03,531 --> 01:35:04,988
husband and wife.
1280
01:35:19,797 --> 01:35:21,129
Mr. Stone.
1281
01:35:22,675 --> 01:35:25,133
Morning.
1282
01:35:26,221 --> 01:35:29,430
Walter,
I won't beat about the bush.
1283
01:35:30,558 --> 01:35:33,972
Your marriage has become
an embarrassment to the firm, so...
1284
01:35:35,396 --> 01:35:37,103
I'm going to have to let you go.
1285
01:35:39,817 --> 01:35:43,231
Well, I was gonna
quit anyway, Arnold.
1286
01:35:43,947 --> 01:35:47,736
See, I'm gonna become a father soon,
and it would really be an embarrassment
1287
01:35:48,034 --> 01:35:50,868
for me to have to tell my kid
that I work for somebody like you.
1288
01:35:53,706 --> 01:35:56,369
Dr. Harrison to O.B.I.C.U.
1289
01:36:09,555 --> 01:36:11,512
- That's it. Hold on.
- Push!
1290
01:36:15,186 --> 01:36:17,394
- You gotta breathe a little.
- One more.
1291
01:36:17,689 --> 01:36:19,430
Yes, push.
1292
01:36:22,944 --> 01:36:24,936
That's it.
You're doing fine.
1293
01:36:27,115 --> 01:36:29,027
- That's it. Push. Good.
- No, don't!
1294
01:36:30,118 --> 01:36:34,032
You got it. Almost there now.
That's it. Very good.
1295
01:36:35,164 --> 01:36:37,406
Congratulations. It's a girl.
1296
01:36:43,089 --> 01:36:44,500
Look.
1297
01:37:08,072 --> 01:37:09,984
- You know what, Walt?
- What?
1298
01:37:10,283 --> 01:37:12,115
I think she likes me.
1299
01:37:30,928 --> 01:37:34,467
- Something's wrong, Doctor.
- Get her B.P. Take the baby now.
1300
01:37:35,141 --> 01:37:36,507
Amanda?
Doc?
1301
01:37:39,020 --> 01:37:42,479
What the hell's wrong?
She's not haemorrhaging.
1302
01:37:42,774 --> 01:37:44,686
- What's wrong? Amanda.
- Mr. Stone.
1303
01:37:45,568 --> 01:37:48,402
Somebody do something!
1304
01:37:58,164 --> 01:38:00,907
Wow.
What a beautiful baby.
1305
01:38:01,209 --> 01:38:02,620
Yes, you did well.
1306
01:38:02,919 --> 01:38:05,002
Wish I could be there
and watch her grow up.
1307
01:38:05,296 --> 01:38:07,003
Oh, you can watch her grow up.
1308
01:38:07,298 --> 01:38:10,882
But in the meantime you have to
decide whether you want to be a male...
1309
01:38:11,177 --> 01:38:13,043
Or a female angel.
1310
01:38:13,346 --> 01:38:15,838
Oh, hey. That's a tough one.
1311
01:38:17,141 --> 01:38:19,383
Okay if I think about it
for a while?
1312
01:38:38,121 --> 01:38:40,078
I love you, Mommy.
1313
01:38:47,797 --> 01:38:49,538
Okay.
1314
01:38:50,883 --> 01:38:52,249
Let's go.
1315
01:38:58,599 --> 01:39:00,636
Have you made up your mind?
1316
01:39:00,935 --> 01:39:04,724
I don't want to be a problem,
but it's not an easy decision.
1317
01:39:05,022 --> 01:39:07,810
- I really liked being a man.
- Naturally.
1318
01:39:08,109 --> 01:39:11,443
- Being a woman had advantages.
- Definitely.
1319
01:39:11,737 --> 01:39:13,820
Could I think about it
just a little longer?
1320
01:39:14,115 --> 01:39:18,405
Take your time.
You have all eternity.
94492
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.