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1
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,278
Yeah! That's all
I ever get from you guys--
2
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,746
a lot of hard luck stories.
3
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,757
You come back here
and I'll give you an assignment.
4
00:01:20,781 --> 00:01:23,884
It'll be your last interview
with the cashier.
5
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,686
Stew. Stew Smith!
6
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,721
Mr. Conroy, give me a crack
7
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,290
at that Schuyler story,
will you?
8
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,859
If you ever get your foot
into a drawing room,
9
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,194
you'd step on a sliding rug.
10
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,528
Stew's the only man
11
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,140
that's got brains enough
to handle this. Scram!
12
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:37,131
Did you find Stew?
13
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,332
Not yet.
14
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,533
Well, did you look in the--
15
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,534
First place I looked.
16
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,136
Not there, eh?
17
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,138
Well, for crying out loud
where is that--?
18
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,406
Go and dig him up.
19
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,840
Stew!
20
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:49,543
Stew Smith!
21
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,619
There it is...
22
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:02,323
Pray for me, Gallagher.
Pray for me.
23
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,324
Hold everything.
24
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,558
Stew, your hands are shaking.
25
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:05,926
You've been drinking again.
26
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,537
Come on, come on.
Here it comes, Gallagher.
27
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:10,198
Stew! Stew Smith!
28
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,200
The boss is getting hoarse.
29
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,634
And the third one.
30
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:16,237
If I don't get the last one,
there's a sob sister I know
31
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:19,240
is going to get a kick right
in the-- Whoa! Almost had that.
32
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:22,276
Oh, Stew! Stew Smith!
Stew--
33
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,411
What?
34
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,179
The screen?
35
00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:26,180
Here it comes...
36
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,681
Gallagher, I've made it!
37
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,952
Ooh!
38
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,825
Come over here!
39
00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,430
Look, I quit.
40
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:43,431
Yeah?
41
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,965
Yeah.
Yeah.
42
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,200
You're always picking on me.
43
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,435
It took me three hours
44
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,303
to get those little
gadgets in those holes,
45
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:50,904
and you screw it up in a minute.
46
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:52,940
Here, look.
47
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,947
Not as easy as it looks, is it?
48
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,349
No wonder you're batty.
49
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,417
Would it be imposing
too much upon you
50
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,686
if I asked you to do
a little work today?
51
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,389
Just to sort of break
the monotony?
52
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,957
With me, you can always
do business.
53
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,992
Do you know what to do
in a drawing room?
54
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,861
It isn't the question
of knowing what to do.
55
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,529
It's knowing to get
in one that counts.
56
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,967
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay.
57
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,635
Now, listen, we've got a tip.
58
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,272
The Schuyler family
finally made a deal
59
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,639
with that chorus dame.
60
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:26,940
Gloria Golden?
61
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,309
Yeah, little Gloria.
62
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,843
The human cash register.
63
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,845
Got her hooks
in the Schuyler kid, eh?
64
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,013
Right.
65
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,648
For the first time this year.
66
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,483
Well, it's only April.
67
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,285
Oh, come on,
get going, get going.
68
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,452
Get going where?
69
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,597
I can write that story without
stepping out of the office.
70
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,256
Yeah, and you can get us
71
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,567
into a million dollar
libel suit.
72
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,259
It wouldn't be the first time.
73
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:46,727
Get a statement
out of the old lady,
74
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,863
the sister or the kid,
any of them, but get it.
75
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:50,898
All right.
76
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:51,975
Give me a voucher for expenses.
77
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,634
What expenses?
Well...
78
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,936
All you need is
carfare to Long Island.
79
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,938
You'd better get a shave
and a shine because you--
80
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,340
you're going to have
81
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,609
a tough time getting
in there as it is.
82
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,312
I know those blue-noses.
83
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,922
Their ancestors refused
to come over on the Mayflower
84
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,581
because they didn't want
85
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,283
to rub elbows with the tourists,
86
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,918
so they swam over.
87
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,351
Dexter Grayson,
88
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,985
if you're any kind of lawyer,
89
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,487
you'll get those letters back.
90
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,055
But I keep telling you
91
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,457
how difficult it is,
Mrs. Schuyler.
92
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,067
The last time I asked her
for those letters,
93
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,427
she made very uncouth
noises with her mouth.
94
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,731
I don't know
why you're making all this fuss.
95
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,367
I only sent her six of them.
96
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,968
If you had to make
a fool of yourself,
97
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,970
why didn't you tell it
to her instead of writing?
98
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,638
Because I couldn't get her
on the phone.
99
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:08,742
Imbecile!
100
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,111
You should have known
better than to write, Romeo.
101
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,780
I found that out
a long time ago.
102
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,047
I should say you had.
103
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,549
At the rate you two are going,
104
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:18,386
we'll have to leave
the country to save our faces.
105
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,920
Splendid, mother.
106
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,355
Let's hop over to Monte Carlo.
107
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,123
It's a great place
to save a face.
108
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,758
Oh, shut up.
109
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,594
What is it, Smythe?
110
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:27,795
Pardon me, madam,
111
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,531
but what am I to say
to the newspapermen?
112
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,100
Dexter, go out
and tell those ruffians
113
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:34,635
I have nothing to say.
114
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,836
You can't do that.
115
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,870
Leave it to me.
116
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,806
I know how to handle reporters.
117
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,574
All right then,
get it over with.
118
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:42,443
We've decided to see
the reporters.
119
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,545
Send in the man
from the Tribune first.
120
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,646
Very good, sir.
121
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,848
Smythe,
some bicarbonate of soda,
122
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,383
double strength.
123
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,552
I know those newsmongers
will upset me.
124
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,454
I anticipated it, madam.
125
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,423
The bicarbonate is ready.
126
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,969
Hey, Bingy,
127
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,971
you'll find the silverware
in the dining room.
128
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,540
Much obliged.
129
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,511
Mr. Grayson
has decided to see you.
130
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,946
The gentlemen
from the Tribune first.
131
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,548
There are no gentlemen
on the Tribune.
132
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:57,751
I understand, sir.
133
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,029
Hey, take it easy, take it easy.
134
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,556
Oh, listen, my boy,
no use you hanging around here.
135
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,692
Just buy a copy of the Tribune,
read it over,
136
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,594
then make a rewrite
for your last edition.
137
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,028
Never make the last edition.
138
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:08,929
It'd take me four hours
139
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,531
to translate your story
into English.
140
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:11,965
Oh, is that so?
141
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,767
I'm afraid.
142
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,035
Take off your hat,
143
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,104
you might make an impression.
144
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,572
Impossible.
Put it on again.
145
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:23,110
Hey, make up your mind,
will you?
146
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,987
Hiya, folks.
147
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,766
Achoo!
148
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,502
What's the matter,
149
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,979
ain't there a "bless you"
in the crowd?
150
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,038
You're the Tribune man?
151
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,205
Yeah. Hello.
How are you?
152
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,508
Fine.
153
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,709
Have a seat.
154
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,778
Thanks, I will.
155
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:01,949
This way.
156
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,590
Oh, boy.
157
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,091
Fine newspaper, the Tribune.
158
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,826
Well, I should say.
159
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,261
I knew your
managing editor well.
160
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,629
Is that so?
161
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,197
Yale. '21, I believe.
162
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,231
Huh?
163
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,733
We were classmates.
164
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,002
Ahem.
165
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,804
What's the matter,
she got a cold?
166
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,706
I got him his job on the paper.
167
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:26,907
I'm a stockholder, you know?
168
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,209
Oh, is that so?
169
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,744
One Tribu man to another.
170
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:32,145
Yeah!
171
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:33,246
But right now
172
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,650
I'm acting in the capacity
of Mrs. Schuyler's attorney.
173
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,951
That's all right with me.
174
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,553
I won't hold it against you.
175
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,954
But I'm over here to find out--
176
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,590
I know, I know.
177
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,693
But there's no truth
in the story whatsoever.
178
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,127
Oh, yeah?
179
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,762
However, I've taken the trouble
180
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,831
to prepare a statement.
181
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,701
Here it is.
182
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:54,735
Here.
183
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,605
So you see
how silly that rumor is.
184
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,207
Why, sure.
It's a lot of hooey.
185
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,276
That's what I wanted to say,
but I couldn't think of it.
186
00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,912
Thank you very much.
187
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:08,115
All right, all right,
don't mention it.
188
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,822
Give my regards
to your managing editor.
189
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:17,224
I certainly will.
190
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,159
Well, so long folks.
191
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,307
Achoo!
192
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:38,211
Bless you.
193
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,346
Bless you.
194
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:42,315
Thanks.
195
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,817
So long.
196
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,318
Smythe, bring in
the other reporter.
197
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,854
Yes, sir.
198
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:59,767
Schuyler's the name, I presume?
199
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:03,170
Yes, thank you, thank you.
200
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,072
My name is Smith.
Stewart Smith.
201
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:10,310
No relation to John, Joe,
trade or mark.
202
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,680
Of course, you can't
have everything.
203
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,750
Nice set of Conrads
you have out there,
204
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:17,818
Mrs. Schuyler.
205
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,754
I was just glancing
through this one.
206
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,856
What's Michael
tearing the paper about?
207
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,224
Just a habit.
208
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,893
Mr. Schuyler's a bit put out
209
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,028
by all these rumors
going around.
210
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,163
Rumors? Rumors?
211
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,865
Since when
212
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,366
is a breach-of-promise case
a rumor?
213
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,778
No breach-of-promise case
has been filed.
214
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,204
The matter has been
settled out of court.
215
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,371
Oh, I see.
216
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,741
Gloria isn't exactly satisfied
217
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,109
with the $20,000 dollars.
218
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,845
Dexter Grayson,
you told me it was only 10,000,
219
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,379
and you didn't even get
220
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,881
those letters from that jezebel!
221
00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:51,451
So you did give her
10,000 dollars, eh?
222
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,452
And there are letters.
223
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,954
Well, that takes it
224
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,889
out of the rumor class,
doesn't it?
225
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:58,826
We admit nothing.
226
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,028
However, I've a little
statement all prepared.
227
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,063
A statement? Good.
228
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,064
I have it here.
229
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,834
Good.
230
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,936
50 bucks, eh?
231
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,403
Don't you know
232
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,105
you should never offer
a newspaperman
233
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,707
more than two dollars?
234
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,876
If you do, he'll think
it's counterfeit.
235
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,878
I don't need $50.
236
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,080
Matter of fact, I've got $50.
237
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,415
The man from the Tribune
seems perfectly satisfied.
238
00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,785
Who, Bingy? Yeah.
Bingy would.
239
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:25,986
He never saw $50 before.
240
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,722
You could have bought him
for six bits.
241
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,257
Funny thing about Bingy,
242
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,026
the more he gets,
the more he prints.
243
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,128
He looks stupid, doesn't he?
244
00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,931
But, oh, how smart he gets
245
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,867
when he bends over a typewriter.
246
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,237
So 10 grand was the amount
you gave the girl?
247
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,473
Any other statement you folks
would like to make?
248
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,474
That's not so.
249
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:50,143
We have nothing more to say.
250
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,144
Don't get excited.
251
00:11:51,178 --> 00:11:52,379
Nothing to worry about.
252
00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,414
A little publicity
never hurt anybody.
253
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,450
Dexter, have this person
leave immediately.
254
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,019
I think you'd better go.
255
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,154
Go, huh?
256
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,255
Wait a minute.
257
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,857
That's a great story.
258
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:06,259
"Newspaper reporter
was forcibly ejected
259
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,128
from the Schuyler mansion--"
260
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,764
Oh, wait a minute.
261
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,936
Don't mind Mother.
262
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,171
I don't mind her if you don't.
263
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,873
Anne?
264
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:25,012
I'm sure you're quite willing
to be decent about this.
265
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:28,515
Decent? Why, Miss Schuyler,
I want to be noble.
266
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,318
You're not going to print
this silly thing, are you?
267
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,554
No? Why not?
268
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,256
Because my name's Schuyler too,
269
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,225
and I haven't done a thing,
270
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,894
but I'll have to suffer
with Michael,
271
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,830
and so will Mother.
272
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,836
Mother's suffering already.
273
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,005
As a special favor to me,
274
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:54,241
you won't print
that story, will you?
275
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,977
Please?
276
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,812
You know something, lady,
277
00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,447
if you sold life insurance
278
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,282
I'd go for a policy
in 60 seconds.
279
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,951
Oh, thank you.
280
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:07,354
I knew you'd understand.
281
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,195
May I use your telephone?
282
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,430
Certainly.
283
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,433
Right over there.
284
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,903
You're all right.
285
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,110
Hello?
286
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,579
Beekman 1300.
287
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,547
Beekman 1300.
288
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,383
That's an unlucky number.
289
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,185
You know that, don't you?
290
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,352
Hello? Hello, Toots?
291
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,055
Is Conroy in?
Let me have Conroy.
292
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:45,625
He isn't? Try the washroom,
will you?
293
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,861
Say I interviewed
a swell guy the other day.
294
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:50,097
Einstein. Swell guy.
295
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,132
A little eccentric but a swell--
296
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,034
Doesn't wear any garters.
297
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,903
Neither do I,
as a matter of fact.
298
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,938
What good are garters
after--? Hello?
299
00:13:57,971 --> 00:14:00,573
Yeah, Conroy.
This is Smith talking.
300
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,242
I'm up at the Schuylers.
301
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:06,914
No, I'm not having tea.
302
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,982
That is, not yet.
303
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,919
Is she beautiful?
304
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:15,022
Oh, boss, her pictures
don't do her justice.
305
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,090
If I were that guy,
Ziegfield, I--
306
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:18,992
Yeah?
307
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,963
Oh, yes, you can see
where her beauty comes from.
308
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,364
From her mother.
309
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,603
No, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
310
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,073
Keep your shirt on.
I'll come to that in a minute.
311
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,108
The Schuylers admit
the story is true. Right.
312
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,044
Now, they gave the gal
10,000 bucks,
313
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,611
but she's got some letters,
314
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,513
and she's holding out
for more dough,
315
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,951
and it looks to me
like she's going to get it.
316
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,919
Right, boss, I'll be right over.
317
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,220
Right.
318
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:50,223
No, I don't think
I can get any pictures now.
319
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:52,659
All right.
320
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:55,562
I've met some rotters
in my time,
321
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,064
but, without a doubt,
322
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,531
you're the lowest excuse
for a man
323
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:03,003
I've ever had
the misfortune to meet.
324
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:16,049
Well, if you feel
that way about it,
325
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:19,019
here's your nickel
for the phone call.
326
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,399
Oh. How are you, Mr. Clark?
Come right in.
327
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,434
How are you?
Fine.
328
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,674
And she walked up to me,
329
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,176
and put her hand on my shoulder
330
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,677
and said,
331
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,414
"Mr. Smith, you wouldn't print
that story, would you?"
332
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,049
No. I wouldn't print it.
Read it.
333
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,089
You're sure going to be poison
334
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:57,524
to that Junior Leaguer
from now on.
335
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,092
Gosh, I hope not.
336
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,760
I've got to call on her
this morning.
337
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,195
You what?
338
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:05,498
Sure. I must drop in
and see the wench.
339
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,000
Her wounds need soothing.
340
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,169
For heaven's sake, Stew,
are you completely bats?
341
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,270
What for?
342
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,006
I thought that story was cold.
You can't go back there.
343
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,207
The story's cold, but I'm not.
344
00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:15,208
I'm sizzling.
345
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:17,177
Look. Psst!
346
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:21,348
Oh, came the dawn,
came the dawn.
347
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,283
And with it came love.
348
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,352
Oh, Gallagher,
you've got to meet her.
349
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,486
She's it.
350
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:27,787
And that.
351
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,022
And those and them.
352
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,625
Well, I've seen her pictures.
I don't think she's so hot.
353
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,669
Oh, you don't appreciate her.
354
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,028
Pictures don't do her justice.
355
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:36,496
Oh, Gallagher, she's queenly.
356
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:39,532
She is queenly,
and I know queens.
357
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:43,036
And, oh, has she
got herself a nose.
358
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,238
And I know noses too.
359
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:46,739
That little schnozzle of hers
360
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:48,241
is the berries, I tell you.
361
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:49,609
And is it cute
362
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,178
when she throws
363
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,814
that little schnozzle
to the high heavens.
364
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,216
Of course, I haven't got a nose.
365
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,817
Sure, sure, you got
a nose, Gallagher,
366
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,120
you've got a nose,
but that's different.
367
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,289
Women are different, Gallagher.
368
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,490
You know--
369
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,358
like brewery horses
and thoroughbreds.
370
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:08,195
Oh, now, Stew,
I wouldn't be too hard on her.
371
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:11,064
I wouldn't call her
a brewery horse.
372
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,832
Gallagher, she's the real McCoy.
373
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,268
And the rest of us
are truck horses.
374
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:18,171
There you go,
talking like a woman.
375
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,839
Well...
376
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,274
Well, you're my pal, aren't you?
377
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,710
And don't turn female on me.
378
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,478
Pay that check,
will you, Gallagher?
379
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:29,182
I'll give it back to you
sometime. Maybe.
380
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,417
I go.
381
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:34,421
I go with Conrad
in quest of my youth.
382
00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,424
Fry those tomatoes,
will you, Gallagher?
383
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:12,259
Ah, ah, ah.
Now, now, Jeeves.
384
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,426
Now, Jeeves, was that nice?
385
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,129
Was that being
a gentleman, Jeeves?
386
00:18:16,163 --> 00:18:18,131
Your name is Jeeves, isn't it?
387
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,232
The name is Smythe.
388
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,400
Smythe?
389
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,803
Well, well, well.
With a Y, huh?
390
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,839
Congratulations
for a small world.
391
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,908
Brothers under livery.
Now, as Smith to Smythe--
392
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,343
Mrs. Schuyler is not at home.
393
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,479
I know, I know.
394
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,913
I waited outside
until she went out.
395
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,415
She's a nice lady,
she's all right,
396
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,884
but we don't vibrate
well together.
397
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,720
No one's at home, sir.
398
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:44,357
Now, Jeeves,
would you call this no one?
399
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:45,625
What's wrong?
400
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,627
Mrs. Schuyler left orders, miss,
401
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,330
that if this person came again,
402
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,598
I was to call the police.
403
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,832
That's a good idea.
404
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:53,833
Telephone the police.
405
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,268
The number is Spring 3100.
406
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,503
Get a couple of cops over,
407
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:58,305
and we can have
a rubber of bridge.
408
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,906
You may go, Smythe.
But I--
409
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,209
Now, the lady said you may go.
410
00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:03,210
What do you want?
411
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,010
When I was here yesterday,
412
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:06,213
I had one of your books
in my hand,
413
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,146
and when I got outside,
414
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,282
I realized I still had
your book in my hand.
415
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,284
So as long as I had
your book in my hand,
416
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,686
I thought I might as well
take it home and read it.
417
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,289
This morning, I got up and put
your book in my hand,
418
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,500
and here's your book
in your hand.
419
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:18,658
That's considerate of you.
420
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,803
That's considerate of me, yeah,
I recommend you read that.
421
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,196
I'm not interested in
your literary recommendations.
422
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,198
Well, perhaps it would be
a little heavy for you.
423
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,200
If you'd like something lighter,
424
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:29,269
something
with a touch of romance,
425
00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,270
just listen to this.
426
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,904
"Adorable Babykins,
427
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,506
"does her miss her baby?
428
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,875
"Him sends
his booful little sweetums
429
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,277
"a billion oceans
full of kisses.
430
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:39,279
Bobo is so lonely--"
431
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,380
Just a moment.
432
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,582
I don't see how that trash
can possibly concern me.
433
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,284
But you don't know who Bobo is.
434
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:46,219
And you don't know
who Babykins is.
435
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,220
I'm not interested.
436
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:48,821
Smythe will open the door.
437
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:49,989
Smythe will open--
438
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,924
But Bobo
is your brother Michael,
439
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,560
and, of course,
440
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:57,797
nobody would ever guess
who Babykins is.
441
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,007
Where did you get those letters?
442
00:19:59,031 --> 00:19:59,932
I stole them
443
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,569
when I was interviewing
Babykins about Bobo.
444
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:06,506
I suppose you're going
to print them?
445
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,907
No.
446
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,342
Give you another guess.
447
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,278
Oh, I don't need another guess.
448
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,513
It's quite obvious.
449
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,947
Oh, it's obvious, huh?
450
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,417
Will you step into the library?
451
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,819
Sure. I'll take a chance.
452
00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,396
You know, the Indians
used to walk like this,
453
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,331
except the squaw
always walked in the back.
454
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:34,634
You know why that was?
455
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,903
That was in case of
an attack from the front.
456
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,638
Of course,
457
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,340
if the attack was from the rear,
458
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:41,774
she had to depend
upon her papoose.
459
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,811
Oh, yes, papooses
always had bows and arrows.
460
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:47,314
Of course,
if she wasn't married,
461
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,349
then she'd have to
protect her own--
462
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:53,353
What country is this library in?
463
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:57,357
Ms. Schuyler, how about carfare
back to the front door?
464
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,359
What are the initials, Mr.--
465
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,427
Smith, Stewart Smith.
466
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,962
My friends all call me Stew.
467
00:21:02,995 --> 00:21:04,364
It's an injustice, too,
468
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,300
because I hold
my liquor all right.
469
00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:10,770
Will 5000 be enough?
470
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:12,038
For what?
471
00:21:12,071 --> 00:21:14,841
For the letters, of course.
472
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:24,083
You shouldn't do that,
Miss Schuyler.
473
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,494
That's all right
for your lawyer friend,
474
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:26,653
but you shouldn't go around
475
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,288
thinking you can buy people.
476
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:35,328
There are your letters.
477
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:36,563
I don't know how to thank you.
478
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:37,797
Mother'll be so grateful,
479
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,466
she'll probably want
to kiss you.
480
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:40,900
Your mother will want
to kiss me?
481
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,436
Give me back my letters.
482
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,572
That's the breaks I get.
483
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:47,407
It's the mothers
484
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,875
that are always grateful to me.
485
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,677
Here.
486
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:53,380
You're a peculiar person.
487
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,382
Why, the other day,
I pleaded with you
488
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,116
not to send in that story, and--
489
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,952
I know, but that was news.
This is blackmail,
490
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:01,721
and I don't like blackmail.
491
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:03,423
I won't even pretend
492
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,425
you haven't done me
a great favor.
493
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,694
I wish there was something
I could do for you.
494
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,931
Well, you could make
this table a little...
495
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:14,934
a little less wide.
496
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:24,477
There is something you can
do for me, Miss Schuyler.
497
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:29,916
I haven't had any lunch.
498
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:31,551
You got anything in the ice box?
499
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,520
Oh, you fool.
500
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,458
After years of research,
501
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:40,560
I finally discovered
502
00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:42,862
that I was the only
guy in the world
503
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:44,764
who hadn't written a play,
504
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:45,998
so, believe it or not,
505
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,000
in my spare time,
I am now writing a play.
506
00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:49,001
Really?
507
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,903
Yeah.
508
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:52,805
I haven't figured out
the plot yet,
509
00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:55,442
but it's laid
in a Siberian Village.
510
00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:57,877
You're a bit eccentric,
aren't you?
511
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:01,013
Me? No.
512
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:03,983
Most ordinary guy
in the world, me.
513
00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:05,785
Only one thing wrong with me.
514
00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:09,522
You don't wear garters.
515
00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:10,690
No.
516
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:14,160
No, that's just a symbol
of my independence.
517
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,662
I know what's wrong.
518
00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:16,929
I'm color blind.
519
00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,731
That's what's wrong,
I'm color blind.
520
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,467
I've been sitting here
521
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:21,734
for a half hour looking at you,
522
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:22,969
and I don't know yet
523
00:23:23,002 --> 00:23:25,738
whether your eyes
are blue or violet.
524
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,440
I'm just beginning to believe
525
00:23:27,474 --> 00:23:30,577
that something could be done
with you.
526
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:34,647
Say, you could do
anything with me
527
00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:36,583
you wanted to.
528
00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:39,586
Putty, just putty, that's me.
529
00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:46,459
But getting back
to those eyes of yours,
530
00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:49,195
would you mind if I...um...
531
00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:51,030
if I kind of got closer,
532
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:53,600
so I could see them?
533
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:54,801
Not if you're going
534
00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:58,004
to lose any sleep about it.
535
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:05,444
Now, how would you like them,
open like this?
536
00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:09,916
Close them both.
537
00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:19,992
Something tells me
I'd better leave.
538
00:24:20,026 --> 00:24:22,128
That's an excellent idea.
539
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:23,262
Oh, hello, Mother.
540
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,597
Oh, hello.
541
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:25,808
Hello, Mrs. Schuyler.
Come right in.
542
00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,500
Will you have a slug of tea?
543
00:24:27,534 --> 00:24:28,801
What is this person doing here?
544
00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:30,102
Well, as a matter of fact,
545
00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,671
I was just trying to decide
546
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:33,039
the color of Anne's eyes.
547
00:24:33,072 --> 00:24:34,607
I can't tell
whether they're blue
548
00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:35,842
or whether they're violet.
549
00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:37,052
What would you say,
Mrs. Schuyler?
550
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,144
Why--
551
00:24:38,177 --> 00:24:39,812
Oh, don't say it,
Mother, please.
552
00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:42,549
Mr. Smith came here today
to do us a great favor.
553
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,226
Indeed? Perhaps he will
do me a great favor?
554
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:45,685
With pleasure, madam.
555
00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:46,686
Get out of here.
556
00:24:46,719 --> 00:24:48,521
Oh, Mother.
557
00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:49,832
It's all right,
it's all right, Anne.
558
00:24:49,856 --> 00:24:50,990
I can take a hint.
559
00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:52,725
It's a little subtle,
but I get it.
560
00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:55,595
Please go.
I'll explain to Mother.
561
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:57,564
All right.
562
00:24:59,699 --> 00:25:04,637
The caviar was lovely, madam.
563
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:07,607
You must come over
and see us sometime.
564
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:18,885
Where were you yesterday?
565
00:25:18,918 --> 00:25:21,554
Oh, Stew and I
went for a long ride.
566
00:25:21,588 --> 00:25:25,157
Dexter, is there
any finishing school
567
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,292
we could send him to?
568
00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:28,561
Yes, Sing Sing.
569
00:25:28,595 --> 00:25:29,562
Well, just the same,
570
00:25:29,596 --> 00:25:30,773
he's going to be
a different person
571
00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:32,131
when I get through with him.
572
00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:33,566
When you get through with him?
573
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,635
Yes. It's a very
interesting experiment.
574
00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:37,970
To make a gentleman
out of a tramp?
575
00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:39,138
Exactly.
576
00:25:39,171 --> 00:25:40,740
Now, Anne, you remember
how much it cost
577
00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:42,642
to get rid of that
baseball player?
578
00:25:42,675 --> 00:25:43,643
You don't seem to understand
579
00:25:43,676 --> 00:25:44,644
that this one's different.
580
00:25:44,677 --> 00:25:46,312
He has brains.
581
00:25:46,345 --> 00:25:47,614
But what about me, Anne?
582
00:25:47,647 --> 00:25:50,583
You? Don't go serious
on me, Dexter.
583
00:26:04,631 --> 00:26:07,667
Hello, Natalie.
Hello.
584
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,769
Miss Montgomery,
Mr. Stewart Smith.
585
00:26:09,802 --> 00:26:10,569
Mrs. Eames.
586
00:26:10,603 --> 00:26:11,780
Mrs. Radcliff and Mr. Radcliff.
587
00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:12,804
How do you do?
588
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:17,309
Hey, who's Anne's new boyfriend?
589
00:26:17,343 --> 00:26:18,711
Well, if my ears
don't deceive me,
590
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:19,979
I believe his name is Smith.
591
00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:22,048
Smith! He can't be one
of the brothers.
592
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,049
He hasn't a beard on.
593
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,751
Well, he must have something
594
00:26:24,784 --> 00:26:26,424
or Anne wouldn't have
her clutches on him.
595
00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:28,748
Oh, Anne, pinch me, will you?
596
00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:30,883
Throw me out of here.
Give me the air.
597
00:27:30,917 --> 00:27:32,952
Throw me out of
this joint, will you?
598
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,086
Why should I?
599
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,822
Haven't we been happy, darling?
600
00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:37,456
I know, but you
should throw me out,
601
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,392
because I begin
to get goofy ideas,
602
00:27:40,426 --> 00:27:42,729
and they concern you, Anne.
603
00:27:42,762 --> 00:27:44,864
None of your ideas
could be goofy, Stewart,
604
00:27:44,897 --> 00:27:46,766
if they concern me.
605
00:27:48,868 --> 00:27:51,103
Well, my name is Smith.
606
00:27:51,137 --> 00:27:53,372
That you seem to have been able
607
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,975
to stand for the last month.
608
00:27:56,008 --> 00:27:59,712
I'm white, male and over 21.
609
00:27:59,746 --> 00:28:01,881
I've never been in jail--
610
00:28:01,914 --> 00:28:05,785
that is, not often,
611
00:28:05,818 --> 00:28:07,854
and I prefer scotch to bourbon.
612
00:28:07,887 --> 00:28:09,488
I hate carrots, I hate peas.
613
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:13,492
I like black coffee,
and I hate garters.
614
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,327
I make 75 bucks a week,
615
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:19,732
and I got $847 bucks
in the bank...
616
00:28:19,766 --> 00:28:21,734
and I don't know yet
617
00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:24,070
whether your eyes
are blue or violet.
618
00:28:24,103 --> 00:28:26,038
That's because
you're too far away, Stew.
619
00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:44,056
Yeah.
620
00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:46,025
All right. Right.
621
00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,844
Yeah, sure.
622
00:29:04,877 --> 00:29:08,380
I got a new dress.
New hat too.
623
00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:11,984
Well, I'll try and get Stew
to come with me.
624
00:29:12,018 --> 00:29:14,921
Yeah. Yeah, he's all right.
625
00:29:14,954 --> 00:29:16,923
Yeah, you know,
626
00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:20,793
he thinks he's stuck
on some society girl.
627
00:29:20,827 --> 00:29:22,995
No, it won't last.
It'd better not last.
628
00:29:24,396 --> 00:29:27,299
What?
Oh, I'll be surprised, eh?
629
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:30,169
Well, listen, if there's
any news in that sheet
630
00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:32,839
that I haven't thrown
in the wastepaper basket,
631
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:34,273
I'll eat it.
632
00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:41,848
Hey, Stew!
633
00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:45,484
Stew Smith!
634
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:46,853
Me?
635
00:29:46,886 --> 00:29:47,854
You double-crossing hound.
636
00:29:47,887 --> 00:29:48,921
Come over here!
637
00:29:48,955 --> 00:29:50,156
Oh, dear--
638
00:29:57,163 --> 00:29:58,464
Now, listen, boss,
639
00:29:58,497 --> 00:30:00,566
if you're going to kick
about that expense account--
640
00:30:00,599 --> 00:30:02,969
Do you call yourself a reporter?
641
00:30:03,002 --> 00:30:04,112
Well, it has been alleged, yes.
642
00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:05,004
Why, you wouldn't know news
643
00:30:05,037 --> 00:30:07,539
if you fell into
a mess of it, nose first.
644
00:30:07,573 --> 00:30:09,976
So you're the bright lad
that's never been scooped.
645
00:30:10,009 --> 00:30:10,977
Not on my own beat, no.
646
00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:12,511
No?
647
00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,847
Well, where were you
when that happened?
648
00:30:14,881 --> 00:30:16,482
I've heard of people
649
00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:18,317
being scooped on
their own funerals,
650
00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:19,351
but this?
651
00:30:19,385 --> 00:30:21,187
Holy mackerel.
652
00:30:21,220 --> 00:30:23,022
Why, it's news
when Anne Schuyler
653
00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:24,390
gets her fingernails manicured,
654
00:30:24,423 --> 00:30:26,859
but this--
655
00:30:26,893 --> 00:30:28,861
She gets married to
one of our own reporters,
656
00:30:28,895 --> 00:30:30,897
and the Tribune beats us to it.
657
00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:31,974
Well, what do you guys want?
658
00:30:31,998 --> 00:30:33,365
Go on, get back to your desks.
659
00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:34,934
Go back to your work.
660
00:30:34,967 --> 00:30:36,936
Now, don't tell me you
were drunk at the time
661
00:30:36,969 --> 00:30:37,803
and don't remember,
662
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,039
or is it one of
Bingy's snowstorms?
663
00:30:40,072 --> 00:30:40,940
No. No, it's true, all right,
664
00:30:40,973 --> 00:30:43,042
only we didn't want it
to get in print yet,
665
00:30:43,075 --> 00:30:44,043
that's all.
666
00:30:44,076 --> 00:30:45,044
Why not?
667
00:30:45,077 --> 00:30:46,445
Well, you see,
668
00:30:46,478 --> 00:30:47,956
I've acquired one of
those new mother-in-laws,
669
00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:50,016
and we were afraid
she wouldn't understand,
670
00:30:50,049 --> 00:30:52,118
so we were going to wait
till she went to Europe.
671
00:30:52,151 --> 00:30:53,929
Well, what do I care
about your mother-in-law?
672
00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:55,330
You're still working
for this paper, aren't you?
673
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:56,322
Or are you?
674
00:30:56,355 --> 00:30:57,957
Yes, sir.
675
00:30:57,990 --> 00:30:59,367
Well, it's your
business to get news,
676
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:01,160
and you let the Tribune
scoop us on it,
677
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:04,130
making a first-class,
grade-A monkey out of me.
678
00:31:04,163 --> 00:31:06,132
Well, if it ever happens again,
679
00:31:06,165 --> 00:31:07,342
just don't bother
about coming back.
680
00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:08,500
That's all.
Yes, sir.
681
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:10,102
Thanks for your
congratulations...
682
00:31:10,136 --> 00:31:11,503
Hey, Stew!
683
00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:14,040
How much is she worth?
Is she good-looking?
684
00:31:14,073 --> 00:31:15,541
Wait a minute.
685
00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:18,477
Can't a guy get married
without all this?
686
00:31:18,510 --> 00:31:23,049
How about that 10
you owe me now?
687
00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:24,516
Gallagher?
Anybody seen Gallagher?
688
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:26,518
No.
689
00:31:55,514 --> 00:31:56,448
Hello, Stew.
690
00:31:56,482 --> 00:31:59,251
I fooled you, didn't I?
You thought it was me.
691
00:31:59,285 --> 00:32:01,253
Hi, Stew.
Hi, Joe.
692
00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:02,654
Hello, Stew.
Congratulations.
693
00:32:02,688 --> 00:32:05,057
Have a drink on the house, huh?
694
00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:06,325
Come on, grab a drink.
695
00:32:06,358 --> 00:32:09,661
Why, I'm going to
have a lot of drinks.
696
00:32:09,695 --> 00:32:11,964
You don't think
I'd settle for one drink--
697
00:32:11,998 --> 00:32:15,234
Oh, wait a minute. Excuse me.
Be right back.
698
00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:19,038
Well, well, well.
Gallagher, old pal.
699
00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:20,039
So there you are.
700
00:32:20,072 --> 00:32:21,607
What did you run away for?
701
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:22,608
I didn't run away.
702
00:32:22,641 --> 00:32:24,110
Sure, you ran away.
703
00:32:24,143 --> 00:32:25,553
Aren't you going
to congratulate a guy?
704
00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:28,114
Sure. I wish you all the luck
in the world, pal.
705
00:32:28,147 --> 00:32:29,982
Thanks, thanks.
706
00:32:30,016 --> 00:32:32,018
I hope you'll be very happy.
707
00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:34,153
We'll be happy. What's the
matter with your eyes?
708
00:32:34,186 --> 00:32:35,154
It's the smoke.
709
00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,456
Joe? A little snifter.
710
00:32:37,489 --> 00:32:39,491
Say, was I a lucky guy
711
00:32:39,525 --> 00:32:42,161
to fall into a girl
like that, hm?
712
00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:43,029
What have you got?
713
00:32:43,062 --> 00:32:46,298
I don't know
how I rate that, Gallagher.
714
00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:49,168
Gosh, that's a swell girl.
I want you to meet her.
715
00:32:49,201 --> 00:32:50,169
Who, me?
Yeah.
716
00:32:50,202 --> 00:32:52,271
She wouldn't want to meet me.
717
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:54,073
I'm just an old load of hay.
718
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:54,906
Thank you, Joe.
719
00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,608
We'll have a party
down at your house,
720
00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:58,077
one of those spaghetti parties.
721
00:32:58,110 --> 00:32:59,478
We haven't had one
in a long time,
722
00:32:59,511 --> 00:33:00,312
have we, Gallagher?
723
00:33:00,346 --> 00:33:02,014
Not since you broke
into society.
724
00:33:02,048 --> 00:33:03,425
Remember the time
we had a spaghetti party,
725
00:33:03,449 --> 00:33:05,051
and while I was
serving the spaghetti,
726
00:33:05,084 --> 00:33:06,218
I dropped it on the floor,
727
00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:07,462
and while those mugs
weren't looking,
728
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:09,288
I served it to them
anyway. Remember that?
729
00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:11,123
Yes, Anne would love that.
730
00:33:11,157 --> 00:33:12,491
Do you think your wife
731
00:33:12,524 --> 00:33:14,026
would walk up three flights
732
00:33:14,060 --> 00:33:15,761
just to eat out of paper plates?
733
00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:16,762
Anne? Oh, sure.
734
00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:18,497
Anne would love that.
735
00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:21,600
Remember, she's a Schuyler.
736
00:33:21,633 --> 00:33:24,503
Now, get this, Gallagher.
Smith, that's the name.
737
00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:26,105
My error.
738
00:33:26,138 --> 00:33:28,040
Hello, chief.
739
00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:31,510
Cut that out.
740
00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:33,312
Just because I'm married,
no reason for that.
741
00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,181
Ix-nay, the oss-bay.
742
00:33:39,685 --> 00:33:43,055
Well, what's the benedict
looking for in the newspaper,
743
00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:44,490
his lost freedom?
744
00:33:47,193 --> 00:33:50,196
Well, if it isn't
old Fagan himself.
745
00:33:50,229 --> 00:33:51,830
Gallagher and myself
just came over
746
00:33:51,863 --> 00:33:54,233
to do a little work on a story.
747
00:33:54,266 --> 00:33:55,701
Baloney.
748
00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:57,169
Joe, bring me a special.
749
00:33:57,203 --> 00:34:00,106
Isn't it swell
about Stew's marriage?
750
00:34:00,139 --> 00:34:01,507
Is it?
751
00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:07,313
Well, when are you quitting?
752
00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:08,480
Quitting?
753
00:34:08,514 --> 00:34:10,249
I'm not thinking of quitting.
754
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:12,618
I take it you don't have
to work for a living anymore,
755
00:34:12,651 --> 00:34:13,852
Mr. Schuyler.
756
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:17,156
Now, get this, Conroy.
My name's Smith.
757
00:34:17,189 --> 00:34:19,558
Always was Smith,
always going to be Smith.
758
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:20,559
Is that so?
759
00:34:20,592 --> 00:34:21,860
That's so.
760
00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,163
Anne Schuyler's
in the blue book.
761
00:34:24,196 --> 00:34:26,165
You're not even
in the phone book.
762
00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:27,566
Think that one over, sucker.
763
00:34:27,599 --> 00:34:29,335
Well, that doesn't make
any difference,
764
00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:30,402
if they love each other.
765
00:34:30,436 --> 00:34:31,470
Blah.
766
00:34:31,503 --> 00:34:33,472
He's like a giraffe
marrying a monkey.
767
00:34:33,505 --> 00:34:35,174
A what?
768
00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:37,176
Listen, you'll never be anything
769
00:34:37,209 --> 00:34:38,544
but just the reporter
770
00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,746
that married
the Schuyler's millions.
771
00:34:40,779 --> 00:34:43,149
Stew Smith is dead and buried.
772
00:34:43,182 --> 00:34:44,450
From now on,
773
00:34:44,483 --> 00:34:46,585
you'll be just
Anne Schuyler's husband.
774
00:34:46,618 --> 00:34:48,287
A rich wife's magnolia.
775
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,289
If you can smoke that
without getting sick,
776
00:34:50,322 --> 00:34:51,590
you're welcome to it.
Mm.
777
00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:53,159
But that's perfectly ridiculous.
778
00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:54,760
Wait a minute.
Let me do the talking.
779
00:34:54,793 --> 00:34:56,395
Get this, Conroy.
780
00:34:56,428 --> 00:34:58,864
Anne Schuyler
has a lot of dough, all right.
781
00:34:58,897 --> 00:35:01,200
I married her, all right.
782
00:35:01,233 --> 00:35:04,170
But her dough and me,
no connection.
783
00:35:04,203 --> 00:35:06,772
Just a bird in a gilded cage.
784
00:35:06,805 --> 00:35:08,374
What?
You heard me.
785
00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:11,310
A bird in a gilded cage.
786
00:35:11,343 --> 00:35:13,279
You've been reading
a lot of cheap tabloids.
787
00:35:13,312 --> 00:35:15,914
Anne and myself
are going to move downtown
788
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:17,516
in a nice little flat.
789
00:35:17,549 --> 00:35:19,651
We're going to forget
all about this social stuff
790
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:22,354
and be known
as Mr. and Mrs. Stew Smith.
791
00:35:22,388 --> 00:35:23,555
Now, how do you like that?
792
00:35:23,589 --> 00:35:25,191
And live on your salary,
I suppose?
793
00:35:25,224 --> 00:35:27,426
Live on my salary. Yeah.
794
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:29,261
That is until I finish
writing my play.
795
00:35:29,295 --> 00:35:31,230
What play?
My play.
796
00:35:31,263 --> 00:35:33,565
The one about
the Siberian bloodhound?
797
00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:35,167
Siberian bloodhound?
798
00:35:35,201 --> 00:35:37,803
Oh, no, it's been
all re-written.
799
00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:39,205
It's laid in Araby now.
800
00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:40,639
Araby?
Sure.
801
00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:42,174
Araby, my--
802
00:35:44,276 --> 00:35:47,679
Well, I'm sorry to see
a good reporter go blooey.
803
00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:49,181
Let me know
when you're quitting.
804
00:35:49,215 --> 00:35:50,182
I'm not quitting.
805
00:35:50,216 --> 00:35:51,350
No?
No.
806
00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:53,719
* For he's only a bird
In a gilded cage *
807
00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:56,255
* A beautiful sight To see *
808
00:35:56,288 --> 00:35:57,356
* Tweet-tweet *
809
00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:00,359
Go on, laugh, you hyena.
810
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:01,827
Don't pay any attention to him.
811
00:36:01,860 --> 00:36:03,238
He doesn't know
what he's talking about.
812
00:36:03,262 --> 00:36:05,297
I ain't paying
no attention to him.
813
00:36:05,331 --> 00:36:08,367
Think that guy can
get me upset? Not that mug.
814
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,802
He's a tough mug.
Hard, cynical.
815
00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:13,639
He doesn't know there's any fine
things in life, that guy.
816
00:36:13,672 --> 00:36:14,906
It's getting so now
817
00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:17,376
if a guy steps out,
he's called a magnolia.
818
00:36:17,409 --> 00:36:18,610
Stew Smith, a magnolia!
819
00:36:18,644 --> 00:36:21,613
Stew Smith is not going to hang
around and be a speakeasy rat.
820
00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:23,982
Not me. Not me.
821
00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:26,385
I'm going to step out and mean
something in this world.
822
00:36:26,418 --> 00:36:27,719
You watch me.
823
00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:29,221
I'm a lucky guy
824
00:36:29,255 --> 00:36:30,989
that I can even be
near Anne Schuyler.
825
00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:32,700
I've been hit with
a carload of horseshoes,
826
00:36:32,724 --> 00:36:35,261
and, believe me, I know it.
827
00:36:35,294 --> 00:36:37,496
Lucky, I'll say I'm lucky.
828
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:40,399
Don't you think
I'm lucky, Gallagher.
829
00:36:40,432 --> 00:36:41,733
Sure, I think so.
830
00:36:41,767 --> 00:36:45,003
Sure you would, pal.
831
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,972
A bird in a gilded cage, huh?
832
00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:48,840
How is her family
going to feel about it?
833
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,376
Her family?
834
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:52,378
Oh, they'll be all right.
I'll bring them around.
835
00:36:52,411 --> 00:36:53,812
Gilded cage?
836
00:36:53,845 --> 00:36:57,349
Besides, I ain't
marrying her family.
837
00:36:57,383 --> 00:37:00,286
Gilded-- Stew Smith, ha!
Gilded cage.
838
00:37:00,319 --> 00:37:03,689
That mug.
What does he know.
839
00:37:15,801 --> 00:37:18,370
I don't know what
you need me here for.
840
00:37:18,404 --> 00:37:19,505
It isn't my funeral.
841
00:37:19,538 --> 00:37:20,672
You stay right here, Michael.
842
00:37:20,706 --> 00:37:22,541
Someday you'll be
head of this family,
843
00:37:22,574 --> 00:37:23,542
but thank heaven
844
00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:24,943
I shan't be here
when it happens.
845
00:37:24,976 --> 00:37:26,545
And I hope you never
have a daughter
846
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,347
who gives you gastritis
as Anne has me.
847
00:37:28,380 --> 00:37:29,748
Oh, now, Mother, calm yourself.
848
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:31,450
There's no use
in getting excited.
849
00:37:31,483 --> 00:37:33,452
Oh, isn't there?
Sit down.
850
00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:34,696
Smythe, some bicarbonate, quick.
851
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,288
Double-strength.
852
00:37:36,322 --> 00:37:37,289
Mother, if you keep this up,
853
00:37:37,323 --> 00:37:39,358
you'll have a breakdown
before you go to Europe.
854
00:37:39,391 --> 00:37:42,861
Oh, it's a good thing
your father passed away
855
00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:45,331
before he saw insanity
ravage the family.
856
00:37:45,364 --> 00:37:46,432
I can't imagine
857
00:37:46,465 --> 00:37:48,434
what made you do such a thing.
858
00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:50,469
A reporter.
Of all things, a reporter!
859
00:37:50,502 --> 00:37:52,871
A barbarian
who lets his socks come down.
860
00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:54,039
Mother, I promise you
861
00:37:54,072 --> 00:37:56,442
that he won't be
a reporter much longer.
862
00:37:56,475 --> 00:37:58,344
Once I get him away
from that atmosphere
863
00:37:58,377 --> 00:38:00,312
and get him away from
a man named Gallagher.
864
00:38:00,346 --> 00:38:01,847
Sit down.
865
00:38:03,882 --> 00:38:05,884
Drink hearty, Mother.
866
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,853
Anne. Anne.
867
00:38:12,591 --> 00:38:14,526
Mr. Grayson.
868
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,362
You.
869
00:38:16,395 --> 00:38:18,364
Mrs. Schuyler.
870
00:38:18,397 --> 00:38:20,766
Well, what's to be done?
871
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,868
He's here now.
872
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:30,609
Nobody seems to want
to do anything.
873
00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:31,910
Why not ask me?
874
00:38:31,943 --> 00:38:33,445
Perhaps I could offer
a suggestion.
875
00:38:33,479 --> 00:38:34,913
Do what about what?
876
00:38:34,946 --> 00:38:36,615
About what?
Your marriage to Anne.
877
00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:38,584
Oh, my marriage to Anne.
878
00:38:38,617 --> 00:38:39,918
Now, Mrs. Schuyler,
879
00:38:39,951 --> 00:38:42,354
we don't want you to go
to any trouble about that.
880
00:38:42,388 --> 00:38:44,556
We just want the usual
your blessings, that's all.
881
00:38:44,590 --> 00:38:46,725
Young man, I want you to know
882
00:38:46,758 --> 00:38:48,436
that I object violently
to this whole affair.
883
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:51,530
Mother, your attitude
is perfectly ridiculous.
884
00:38:51,563 --> 00:38:53,098
It's done now.
885
00:38:53,131 --> 00:38:56,435
Stewart and I are married.
886
00:38:56,468 --> 00:38:58,970
Yeah, I'm afraid she's right,
Mrs. Schuyler.
887
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:03,509
I'm really very sorry
you feel this way.
888
00:39:03,542 --> 00:39:06,412
I was in hopes
that you'd like me.
889
00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:09,581
I'm not the burglar
that you think I am.
890
00:39:09,615 --> 00:39:11,717
After all, we're married.
891
00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:14,886
I think the thing to do
is to kiss and make up, Mother.
892
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,455
Stop calling me mother.
893
00:39:16,488 --> 00:39:18,690
All right, Grandma.
894
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:20,559
This man's impossible.
895
00:39:20,592 --> 00:39:21,460
I can't talk to him.
896
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,629
Grayson. Let's go
where we can think.
897
00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:27,933
See what you've done to me.
898
00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,943
Oh, got it too, huh?
899
00:39:42,448 --> 00:39:43,615
Who won that round?
900
00:39:43,649 --> 00:39:45,026
I'm afraid
your mother won that round.
901
00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,018
That is, she got
the last blow in.
902
00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:48,554
I don't feel the way they do.
903
00:39:48,587 --> 00:39:50,722
You're really not as bad
as everybody thinks.
904
00:39:50,756 --> 00:39:52,758
Well, began
to appreciate me, eh?
905
00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:55,093
Come on upstairs.
I'll give you a little--
906
00:39:55,126 --> 00:39:57,729
A little--
I'll be right up.
907
00:39:57,763 --> 00:39:58,930
He's all right.
I like him.
908
00:39:58,964 --> 00:40:00,466
I'm glad.
909
00:40:16,114 --> 00:40:18,784
He can bend.
910
00:40:18,817 --> 00:40:20,486
Come here, baby.
911
00:40:23,822 --> 00:40:26,592
I haven't seen you
for three hours.
912
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:29,561
You're neglecting me already.
913
00:40:29,595 --> 00:40:31,497
What's the matter?
914
00:40:31,530 --> 00:40:34,099
Something I ate, no doubt.
915
00:40:34,132 --> 00:40:36,635
Egg marks the spot.
916
00:40:36,668 --> 00:40:38,904
You ought to get
some new ties, Stewart.
917
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:41,973
I don't need any new ties.
918
00:40:42,007 --> 00:40:43,742
I've got another tie.
919
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,711
I've got another
beside this one.
920
00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:47,679
It's a pip too.
921
00:40:47,713 --> 00:40:49,114
Only one thing wrong with it.
922
00:40:49,147 --> 00:40:50,582
You know what that is?
923
00:40:50,616 --> 00:40:53,519
It has a little
weakness for gravy,
924
00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:55,487
and, once in a while,
925
00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:56,488
it leans toward ketchup.
926
00:40:56,522 --> 00:40:59,525
Of course, that's only
in its weaker moments,
927
00:40:59,558 --> 00:41:00,926
and when you move
down to my place,
928
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:01,927
I'll show it to you.
929
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,029
Your place?
Yeah.
930
00:41:04,062 --> 00:41:06,031
Oh, it's great.
931
00:41:06,064 --> 00:41:07,232
Of course, it doesn't compare
932
00:41:07,265 --> 00:41:08,934
with this coliseum of yours,
933
00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:13,539
but 'twill serve, milady,
'twill serve.
934
00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:15,874
The architecture
935
00:41:15,907 --> 00:41:19,645
has a little feeling
of Missouri Gothic,
936
00:41:19,678 --> 00:41:21,513
and the furniture
937
00:41:21,547 --> 00:41:24,249
sort of leans toward
Oklahoma Renaissance,
938
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:27,653
with a tiny touch
of Grand Rapids.
939
00:41:27,686 --> 00:41:29,621
Don't you think it's silly of us
940
00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:30,856
to think of living there
941
00:41:30,889 --> 00:41:33,592
when we have
this whole big house?
942
00:41:33,625 --> 00:41:36,261
When we have--
943
00:41:36,294 --> 00:41:39,931
You'd like to have me
live here in your house?
944
00:41:39,965 --> 00:41:41,867
We can have the left wing
945
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,902
and be all by ourselves
all the time.
946
00:41:43,935 --> 00:41:45,904
Oh, we could have the left wing?
947
00:41:45,937 --> 00:41:47,739
Would that be
room enough for us?
948
00:41:47,773 --> 00:41:49,608
Oh, darling, of course.
If it isn't,
949
00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:51,176
there are six rooms
and two baths,
950
00:41:51,209 --> 00:41:52,177
but if that isn't enough,
951
00:41:52,210 --> 00:41:54,580
why, Mother will give us
the blue room, I think.
952
00:41:54,613 --> 00:41:56,090
Oh, Mother will give us
the blue room?
953
00:41:56,114 --> 00:41:57,716
You haven't
a red room, have you?
954
00:41:57,749 --> 00:42:02,087
Well, bless her heart,
wouldn't that be nice?
955
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:08,093
Six rooms, two baths,
and a blue room.
956
00:42:08,126 --> 00:42:10,195
I guess she would let us
have the right wing
957
00:42:10,228 --> 00:42:11,763
if we needed it.
958
00:42:11,797 --> 00:42:13,599
Oh, but we don't
need it, I'm sure.
959
00:42:13,632 --> 00:42:14,499
Oh, I see.
960
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:17,102
We won't need that.
Plenty of room...
961
00:42:18,670 --> 00:42:21,306
Look, Anne...
Now, never mind.
962
00:42:21,339 --> 00:42:23,709
You're not serious
about this, are you?
963
00:42:23,742 --> 00:42:26,077
Of course I am, Stewart.
964
00:42:26,111 --> 00:42:28,013
Now, let's get this settled.
965
00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:29,848
You have the cutest nose I've--
966
00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:31,349
Never mind.
Never mind my nose.
967
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:33,852
What kind of a chump
do you think I am?
968
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,654
You don't think
I'm going to live here
969
00:42:35,687 --> 00:42:37,122
in your house on your dough?
970
00:42:37,155 --> 00:42:39,758
What do you think
my friends would all say?
971
00:42:39,791 --> 00:42:41,326
Oh, don't be silly.
972
00:42:41,359 --> 00:42:45,063
I'd get the razzing
of my life for that.
973
00:42:45,096 --> 00:42:47,198
A bird in a gilded cage,
that's what I'd be.
974
00:42:47,232 --> 00:42:50,736
Not me. No, no. Not me.
975
00:42:50,769 --> 00:42:52,704
What do you think
my friends would say
976
00:42:52,738 --> 00:42:54,305
if they found me
in a little cheap flat?
977
00:42:54,339 --> 00:42:55,874
It isn't cheap.
It's nice.
978
00:42:55,907 --> 00:43:00,045
Let's not talk about
things like that now.
979
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:01,647
I'll do anything
you ask me to do,
980
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:03,114
but I will not live in here.
981
00:43:03,148 --> 00:43:05,183
I love that nose.
Oh, it's such a sweet nose.
982
00:43:05,216 --> 00:43:06,818
Nevertheless,
983
00:43:06,852 --> 00:43:08,754
whether the nose
is sweet or not,
984
00:43:08,787 --> 00:43:10,756
I'm not going to live
in your house.
985
00:43:10,789 --> 00:43:12,691
You might as well
get that straight.
986
00:43:12,724 --> 00:43:14,693
You want me to be happy,
don't you?
987
00:43:14,726 --> 00:43:15,727
Mm-hm.
988
00:43:15,761 --> 00:43:18,196
Then I'm not going
to live in it.
989
00:43:46,758 --> 00:43:50,729
Mr. Smith, sir?
990
00:43:50,762 --> 00:43:55,901
Mr. Smith, sir?
991
00:43:55,934 --> 00:43:57,669
Mr. Smith, sir?
992
00:43:57,703 --> 00:44:01,740
How do you like your bath, sir?
993
00:44:01,773 --> 00:44:03,274
I like my bath all right.
994
00:44:03,308 --> 00:44:05,076
How do you like your bath?
995
00:44:08,413 --> 00:44:09,815
Who are you?
996
00:44:09,848 --> 00:44:11,783
I'm your valet, sir.
997
00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:14,853
Dawson is the name, sir.
998
00:44:14,886 --> 00:44:16,354
You're my what?
999
00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:18,123
Your valet, sir.
1000
00:44:21,426 --> 00:44:23,695
My gosh.
1001
00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:32,337
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
1002
00:44:32,370 --> 00:44:34,873
I'll do that for you some time.
1003
00:44:34,906 --> 00:44:36,875
That was very sweet, now.
1004
00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:41,379
Say, listen, what did you
say the name was?
1005
00:44:41,412 --> 00:44:42,748
Dawson, sir.
1006
00:44:42,781 --> 00:44:46,017
Dawson, was I
very drunk last night?
1007
00:44:46,051 --> 00:44:48,486
Drunk, sir?
Yeah.
1008
00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:50,321
I must have been plastered
1009
00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:51,723
if I hired a valet.
1010
00:44:51,757 --> 00:44:54,259
Oh, but you didn't
engage me, sir.
1011
00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:55,861
Who did engage you, then?
1012
00:44:55,894 --> 00:44:57,829
If I didn't engage you,
what are you doing--
1013
00:44:57,863 --> 00:44:59,464
Did you take anything
out of those pants?
1014
00:44:59,497 --> 00:45:00,365
Oh, no sir. No.
1015
00:45:00,398 --> 00:45:02,834
What are you doing
fooling around in here?
1016
00:45:02,868 --> 00:45:05,170
Miss Schuyler--
I mean Mrs. Smith--
1017
00:45:05,203 --> 00:45:07,939
She engaged me
this morning, sir.
1018
00:45:07,973 --> 00:45:09,908
Oh, I see.
1019
00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:16,447
So Mrs. Smith engaged me
a valet, eh?
1020
00:45:16,481 --> 00:45:18,884
That's very nice of Mrs. Smith,
1021
00:45:18,917 --> 00:45:21,286
to engage me a valet.
1022
00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:25,256
Say, you know, you're nice.
1023
00:45:25,290 --> 00:45:27,258
You're all right.
1024
00:45:27,292 --> 00:45:28,827
You'd make a good wife.
1025
00:45:28,860 --> 00:45:29,861
Thank you, sir.
1026
00:45:29,895 --> 00:45:31,930
But not for me.
Just...
1027
00:45:31,963 --> 00:45:33,899
If anybody liked you...
1028
00:45:35,867 --> 00:45:37,311
You're a nice fellow,
you're all right,
1029
00:45:37,335 --> 00:45:38,303
but I'm sorry,
1030
00:45:38,336 --> 00:45:39,805
I don't need any valets today.
1031
00:45:39,838 --> 00:45:41,239
Oh, indeed, you do, sir.
1032
00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:42,941
If you don't mind my saying so.
1033
00:45:42,974 --> 00:45:44,910
A gentleman's
gentleman as it were.
1034
00:45:44,943 --> 00:45:46,311
Someone to draw your bath,
1035
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:48,780
lay out your clothes,
help to dress you.
1036
00:45:48,814 --> 00:45:50,782
It's really most essential, sir.
1037
00:45:50,816 --> 00:45:52,283
You're trying to tell me
1038
00:45:52,317 --> 00:45:53,251
that I need someone
1039
00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:55,854
to help me put on my pants
and button them up.
1040
00:45:55,887 --> 00:45:56,988
Quite, sir, quite.
1041
00:45:57,022 --> 00:45:58,489
I'm sorry.
I appreciate your efforts,
1042
00:45:58,523 --> 00:46:00,892
but I don't need anybody
to help me button my pants.
1043
00:46:00,926 --> 00:46:03,061
I've been buttoning
my pants for 30 years all right,
1044
00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:04,963
and I can button them
with one hand,
1045
00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:06,164
as a matter of fact.
1046
00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:07,933
But, Mr. Smith, now, please.
1047
00:46:07,966 --> 00:46:09,267
You've got a nice face.
1048
00:46:09,300 --> 00:46:11,937
You wouldn't want anything
to happen to your face?
1049
00:46:11,970 --> 00:46:14,272
Oh, no, sir.
All right, outside.
1050
00:46:14,305 --> 00:46:17,408
I beg your pardon?
Outside.
1051
00:46:17,442 --> 00:46:20,411
I think I understand, sir.
You mean you want me to go?
1052
00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:22,580
There you are.
You caught on.
1053
00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:24,282
You see? You're nice
and you're smart too.
1054
00:46:24,315 --> 00:46:25,884
You caught on right away.
1055
00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:27,853
Outside.
Go on. Outside.
1056
00:46:27,886 --> 00:46:29,855
And don't come back.
No, sir, no.
1057
00:46:29,888 --> 00:46:31,957
Hey, wait a minute.
1058
00:46:31,990 --> 00:46:33,024
What's this?
1059
00:46:34,860 --> 00:46:36,494
Oh, that's a canary, sir.
1060
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:39,931
That's a-- Who brought
that in here? Cana--
1061
00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:42,467
Yeah...
Canary, huh?
1062
00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,870
Go on, now.
Get that out of here.
1063
00:46:44,903 --> 00:46:46,371
Yes, sir.
Very good, sir.
1064
00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:48,006
A bird in a gilded cage.
1065
00:46:48,039 --> 00:46:49,340
Get that thing out of here.
1066
00:46:49,374 --> 00:46:51,309
Yes, sir.
1067
00:46:53,578 --> 00:46:54,946
Good morning, darling.
1068
00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:56,915
Oh, Dawson,
1069
00:46:56,948 --> 00:46:58,159
see that all Mr. Smith's clothes
1070
00:46:58,183 --> 00:46:59,393
go to the cleaners this morning.
1071
00:46:59,417 --> 00:47:01,352
Very good, madam.
1072
00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:08,894
Hey, who is this mug?
1073
00:47:08,927 --> 00:47:11,897
I got a present.
Shut your eyes.
1074
00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:13,631
Now, keep them closed.
1075
00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,967
I know you're going
to love them. There.
1076
00:47:17,568 --> 00:47:20,038
It's little.
1077
00:47:20,071 --> 00:47:23,541
Couldn't be an automobile,
could it?
1078
00:47:23,574 --> 00:47:28,479
Well, well, well,
ain't that nice?
1079
00:47:28,513 --> 00:47:29,647
Do you like them?
1080
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,282
Got my initials on them, too.
1081
00:47:31,316 --> 00:47:32,350
They're cute.
1082
00:47:32,383 --> 00:47:33,952
What do you do with them?
1083
00:47:33,985 --> 00:47:36,487
You wear them, of course, silly.
1084
00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:40,258
No, no, not me.
1085
00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:41,960
I haven't worn
these things for years.
1086
00:47:41,993 --> 00:47:45,063
Yeah, I know that.
I'd be foolish.
1087
00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:46,440
I couldn't look
Gallagher in the face.
1088
00:47:46,464 --> 00:47:48,533
Darling, I don't care
whether you can
1089
00:47:48,566 --> 00:47:49,576
look Gallagher
in the face or not,
1090
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,004
but you're going to be
a good boy and wear garters.
1091
00:47:53,038 --> 00:47:55,106
I love you, dear,
1092
00:47:55,140 --> 00:47:56,374
I'll eat spinach for you,
1093
00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:58,676
I'll go to the dentist
twice a year for you,
1094
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:00,979
I'll wash behind
my ears for you,
1095
00:48:01,012 --> 00:48:03,248
but I will never wear garters.
1096
00:48:03,281 --> 00:48:07,352
* Oh, yes, you will, my dear
Oh, yes, you will, my dear *
1097
00:48:07,385 --> 00:48:10,521
* You'll wear garters
And you'll like it too *
1098
00:48:10,555 --> 00:48:14,659
* Oh, no, I won't, my dear
Oh, no, I won't, my dear *
1099
00:48:14,692 --> 00:48:18,129
* I'll wash behind the ear
But no, I won't, my dear *
1100
00:48:18,163 --> 00:48:22,533
* Oh, yes, you will, my dear
Oh, yes, you will, my dear *
1101
00:48:22,567 --> 00:48:26,537
* You'll eat spinach
But you'll wear garters too *
1102
00:48:26,571 --> 00:48:30,375
* Oh, you can't carry a tune
You can't carry a tune *
1103
00:48:30,408 --> 00:48:33,444
* All you are good for
Is to sit and spoon spoon *
1104
00:48:33,478 --> 00:48:35,213
* Oh, no, I won't Wear garters *
1105
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:38,083
* Oh, yes, you will so too
Yes... **
1106
00:48:45,156 --> 00:48:46,491
Is it real?
1107
00:48:48,493 --> 00:48:49,560
Of course it's real.
1108
00:48:49,594 --> 00:48:51,096
Any diamonds on them?
1109
00:48:51,129 --> 00:48:53,464
Must have set him back
at least six bits.
1110
00:48:53,498 --> 00:48:55,967
One just can't wear those
and be decent.
1111
00:48:56,001 --> 00:48:56,968
Yes, you can,
1112
00:48:57,002 --> 00:48:58,203
if you belong to the 400.
1113
00:48:58,236 --> 00:48:59,737
I wonder what number he is.
1114
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:01,439
Come on, get out, get out!
1115
00:49:01,472 --> 00:49:02,516
What's the matter with you mugs?
1116
00:49:02,540 --> 00:49:04,709
Didn't you ever see a guy
with garters on before?
1117
00:49:04,742 --> 00:49:06,611
What do you suppose
he wears them for?
1118
00:49:06,644 --> 00:49:08,446
Can it be possible
to hold his socks up?
1119
00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:10,148
Yes, that's it.
1120
00:49:10,181 --> 00:49:11,558
You know one's hose
looks horrible untidy
1121
00:49:11,582 --> 00:49:12,717
when they hang loose-like.
1122
00:49:12,750 --> 00:49:15,086
Don't you think so, Percy?
Is that so?
1123
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:18,156
Oh, my dear.
They look ghastly.
1124
00:49:18,189 --> 00:49:20,691
They look ghastly.
Come on, get out of here.
1125
00:49:22,093 --> 00:49:24,362
Stew, your policeman.
1126
00:49:24,395 --> 00:49:26,397
Yeah.
1127
00:49:26,431 --> 00:49:28,599
Hello?
1128
00:49:28,633 --> 00:49:30,401
Oh, hello, dear.
Uh...
1129
00:49:30,435 --> 00:49:32,137
Wait just a minute.
Go on, beat it.
1130
00:49:32,170 --> 00:49:34,439
Go on, screw. Screw, will you?
This is my wife.
1131
00:49:34,472 --> 00:49:35,773
Go ahead.
1132
00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,775
Pardon me.
1133
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:40,478
In your respective chapeau
and over your cauliflower ears.
1134
00:49:40,511 --> 00:49:42,213
Hello, dear.
1135
00:49:42,247 --> 00:49:44,215
It's nearly 6:00,
1136
00:49:44,249 --> 00:49:46,784
and you know how long
it takes you to dress.
1137
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,653
But the ambassador
is coming at 8
1138
00:49:48,686 --> 00:49:51,356
and you've got to be ready
by the time he gets here.
1139
00:50:04,435 --> 00:50:06,204
I'd like to see
Miss Wilson, please.
1140
00:50:06,237 --> 00:50:07,505
Whom shall I say, miss?
1141
00:50:07,538 --> 00:50:09,474
Miss Gallagher of the Post.
1142
00:50:15,446 --> 00:50:16,747
Miss Gallagher of the Post.
1143
00:50:16,781 --> 00:50:17,782
Oh, yes.
1144
00:50:17,815 --> 00:50:19,084
Miss Gallagher?
Yes.
1145
00:50:19,117 --> 00:50:20,318
I'm Miss Wilson,
1146
00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:21,652
Mrs. Schuyler's
social secretary.
1147
00:50:21,686 --> 00:50:23,154
I was sent from the Post
1148
00:50:23,188 --> 00:50:24,522
in place of our social editor.
1149
00:50:24,555 --> 00:50:26,524
Yes, of course.
Miss Ramsey telephoned me.
1150
00:50:26,557 --> 00:50:28,193
Well, what would you
like to have?
1151
00:50:28,226 --> 00:50:29,294
A list of the guests.
1152
00:50:29,327 --> 00:50:30,571
That's the usual thing,
isn't it?
1153
00:50:30,595 --> 00:50:32,663
Yes, of course.
I'll get it for you.
1154
00:50:32,697 --> 00:50:35,133
In the meantime, would you
like to take a look around?
1155
00:50:35,166 --> 00:50:36,801
Yes, thank you.
1156
00:50:36,834 --> 00:50:37,802
It's a lovely dress.
1157
00:50:37,835 --> 00:50:38,835
Thank you.
1158
00:50:43,574 --> 00:50:45,110
Where is Mr. Smith?
1159
00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:46,444
Mr. Smith?
1160
00:50:46,477 --> 00:50:49,114
Oh, you mean
Anne Schuyler's husband?
1161
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:50,481
He's probably very tired.
1162
00:50:50,515 --> 00:50:53,151
You see, he's had to meet
all these people personally.
1163
00:50:53,184 --> 00:50:54,619
Oh, yes, I can imagine.
1164
00:50:54,652 --> 00:50:57,388
You newspaper people
have a lot of fun with him.
1165
00:50:57,422 --> 00:51:01,126
What is it you call him?
The "Cinderella Man"?
1166
00:51:06,297 --> 00:51:08,099
There's the Spanish Ambassador.
1167
00:51:08,133 --> 00:51:09,267
He looks like one.
1168
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:14,739
Miss Wilson?
Yes?
1169
00:51:14,772 --> 00:51:16,807
Mrs. Smith
would like to see you.
1170
00:51:16,841 --> 00:51:18,543
Will you excuse me?
1171
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:21,312
Make yourself at home
for just a moment.
1172
00:52:24,275 --> 00:52:25,943
Mr. Smith, I've read
some of your plays,
1173
00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:28,213
and I'd like an autograph.
1174
00:52:28,246 --> 00:52:30,715
Well, well, well,
if it isn't my old pal!
1175
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:33,184
Turn around, gal.
Let's get a look at you.
1176
00:52:33,218 --> 00:52:34,319
There you are.
1177
00:52:34,352 --> 00:52:35,486
Well, daughter of the slums,
1178
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:37,322
how'd you get out of the ghetto?
1179
00:52:37,355 --> 00:52:38,323
Well, I'm pinch-hitting
1180
00:52:38,356 --> 00:52:39,757
for our society editor tonight.
1181
00:52:39,790 --> 00:52:41,626
I wanted to see some
life in the raw.
1182
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,428
You want to see
life in the raw, huh?
1183
00:52:43,461 --> 00:52:44,429
Well, gal, I'm afraid
1184
00:52:44,462 --> 00:52:46,231
we ain't got
no raw life up here.
1185
00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:47,665
I'll have to go
someplace else then.
1186
00:52:47,698 --> 00:52:48,799
Maybe we could interest you
1187
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:49,976
in some well-done butterflies,
1188
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,378
or perhaps some
slightly fried pansies,
1189
00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:53,271
or, better still,
some stuffed shirts,
1190
00:52:53,304 --> 00:52:54,272
and guaranteed,
1191
00:52:54,305 --> 00:52:55,506
every one of them
1192
00:52:55,540 --> 00:52:57,675
will give you a good
stiff pain in the neck.
1193
00:52:57,708 --> 00:53:00,245
Say, who's been tying
your tie lately?
1194
00:53:00,278 --> 00:53:01,746
It looks rotten.
1195
00:53:01,779 --> 00:53:03,248
Gallagher, do you look good.
1196
00:53:03,281 --> 00:53:04,749
What have you done to yourself?
1197
00:53:04,782 --> 00:53:06,384
What did you do to that hair?
1198
00:53:06,417 --> 00:53:08,653
And where did you
get that dress?
1199
00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:10,255
I dyed one and washed the other.
1200
00:53:10,288 --> 00:53:11,698
Oh, you dyed one
and washed the other?
1201
00:53:11,722 --> 00:53:12,722
You certainly look good.
1202
00:53:19,029 --> 00:53:20,631
Don't turn around now,
1203
00:53:20,665 --> 00:53:22,500
but there's a very
beautiful girl up there
1204
00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:24,302
who seems to be staring at us.
1205
00:53:24,335 --> 00:53:26,271
Staring at us?
1206
00:53:26,304 --> 00:53:27,438
My mistake, she's glaring.
1207
00:53:27,472 --> 00:53:28,439
Must be my wife.
1208
00:53:28,473 --> 00:53:31,642
It is my wife.
1209
00:53:31,676 --> 00:53:33,444
Hi, Anne.
1210
00:53:33,478 --> 00:53:35,646
Don't go away.
1211
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:37,882
You must stay right there,
because I'm going
1212
00:53:37,915 --> 00:53:40,618
to bring a friend up
I want you to meet.
1213
00:53:50,528 --> 00:53:54,399
Anne, prepare yourself
for the treat of your life.
1214
00:53:54,432 --> 00:53:55,433
This is Gallagher.
1215
00:53:55,466 --> 00:53:56,434
Gallagher?
1216
00:53:56,467 --> 00:53:58,469
Sure, my pal on the paper.
1217
00:53:58,503 --> 00:54:00,271
She's subbing for
the society editor tonight.
1218
00:54:00,305 --> 00:54:02,273
Oh, yes, of course.
How do you do?
1219
00:54:02,307 --> 00:54:03,508
Gallagher, Mrs. Smith.
1220
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:04,909
How do you do?
1221
00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:06,877
You know, Stewart,
you failed to mention
1222
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:07,978
that Miss Gallagher
1223
00:54:08,012 --> 00:54:09,580
was a very beautiful young girl.
1224
00:54:09,614 --> 00:54:11,316
Gallagher?
1225
00:54:11,349 --> 00:54:12,683
Yes, as a matter of fact,
1226
00:54:12,717 --> 00:54:14,495
you failed to mention
that Gallagher was a girl.
1227
00:54:14,519 --> 00:54:15,786
I failed?
Well, now, that's--
1228
00:54:15,820 --> 00:54:17,655
That's funny, isn't that funny?
1229
00:54:17,688 --> 00:54:19,690
Yes, isn't it?
Well, you see, I...
1230
00:54:19,724 --> 00:54:21,659
We never look
at Gallagher as a girl.
1231
00:54:21,692 --> 00:54:24,395
No? What do you look
upon her as?
1232
00:54:24,429 --> 00:54:26,964
Well, down at the office,
we always just look at--
1233
00:54:26,997 --> 00:54:28,566
Gallagher, that's all.
1234
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:31,402
You see, they all consider me
just as one of the boys.
1235
00:54:31,436 --> 00:54:32,703
Right.
Indeed? How interesting.
1236
00:54:32,737 --> 00:54:34,539
Yes, isn't it?
1237
00:54:34,572 --> 00:54:35,982
Miss Wilson will give
you the guest list
1238
00:54:36,006 --> 00:54:37,908
and any other details you need,
1239
00:54:37,942 --> 00:54:39,444
Miss Gallagher.
1240
00:54:39,477 --> 00:54:41,512
Well, thank you.
1241
00:54:41,546 --> 00:54:43,448
I'll go and look
for her at once.
1242
00:54:43,481 --> 00:54:44,649
Goodbye, Mrs. Smith.
1243
00:54:44,682 --> 00:54:45,883
Goodbye, Miss Gallagher.
1244
00:54:45,916 --> 00:54:47,685
Goodbye, Stew.
1245
00:54:49,754 --> 00:54:52,690
That was kind of
a rotten thing to do, Anne.
1246
00:54:52,723 --> 00:54:54,925
After all,
Gallagher is my friend.
1247
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:57,795
The least you can do
is be courteous to her.
1248
00:54:57,828 --> 00:54:59,797
I thought I was
very charming, Stewart.
1249
00:54:59,830 --> 00:55:02,667
You did?
That's a lot of hooey.
1250
00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:04,602
I'll go and apologize.
1251
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:05,736
Oh, Stewart, please.
1252
00:55:22,487 --> 00:55:25,756
I'm sorry, Gallagher.
Really, I am sorry.
1253
00:55:25,790 --> 00:55:28,493
Oh, that's all right, Stew.
Forget it.
1254
00:55:28,526 --> 00:55:29,603
Why, as far as she's concerned,
1255
00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:31,429
I'm just part of the hired help.
1256
00:55:31,462 --> 00:55:34,699
Oh, no. No, no.
1257
00:55:34,732 --> 00:55:35,933
Strange. I've never seen Anne
1258
00:55:35,966 --> 00:55:38,603
act that way before.
1259
00:55:38,636 --> 00:55:40,871
It's funny I never
thought to tell her
1260
00:55:40,905 --> 00:55:43,040
that you were a girl, isn't it?
1261
00:55:43,073 --> 00:55:44,642
Yes.
1262
00:55:48,112 --> 00:55:49,780
Hello there, Meadows.
1263
00:55:49,814 --> 00:55:51,716
Who is it you wish to see, sir?
1264
00:55:51,749 --> 00:55:53,418
I want to see Stew Smith.
1265
00:55:53,451 --> 00:55:56,053
Oh, excuse me.
I mean, Mr. Smith.
1266
00:55:56,086 --> 00:55:58,656
Pardon me.
Mr. Smith is engaged.
1267
00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:00,133
We are having a reception
here this evening.
1268
00:56:00,157 --> 00:56:00,991
Oh, a party, great.
1269
00:56:01,025 --> 00:56:02,727
Jolly times
and merry pranks, that's me.
1270
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,795
I'm a guy who loves parties.
1271
00:56:04,829 --> 00:56:06,096
You know what--
1272
00:56:06,130 --> 00:56:08,533
Beautiful pair of shoulders.
1273
00:56:08,566 --> 00:56:09,800
Listen, now, as a favor,
1274
00:56:09,834 --> 00:56:11,769
will you please make it snappy,
1275
00:56:11,802 --> 00:56:13,704
and tell Stew Smith
I've got to see him,
1276
00:56:13,738 --> 00:56:15,139
because if you don't,
1277
00:56:15,172 --> 00:56:16,774
my whole family's going to die.
1278
00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:18,676
I'll tell Mr. Smith
at once, sir.
1279
00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:19,810
Have a seat.
1280
00:56:19,844 --> 00:56:21,412
Well, I've got a seat,
1281
00:56:21,446 --> 00:56:23,614
but I have no place to put it.
1282
00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:27,117
Pardon me, sir,
1283
00:56:27,151 --> 00:56:28,786
but I've heard that one before.
1284
00:56:36,627 --> 00:56:38,896
Excuse me, just want to be sure
1285
00:56:38,929 --> 00:56:40,898
that he doesn't take
away any of the vases.
1286
00:56:40,931 --> 00:56:43,501
Well, well, well.
1287
00:56:43,534 --> 00:56:46,637
My little pal,
Gallagher, is a gal, huh?
1288
00:56:52,042 --> 00:56:53,978
That's just to give you an idea
1289
00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:55,746
that I know how to treat a gal.
1290
00:56:55,780 --> 00:56:56,781
Get fresh with me,
1291
00:56:56,814 --> 00:56:57,848
and I'll sock you
1292
00:56:57,882 --> 00:57:00,084
in that little nose of yours.
1293
00:57:00,117 --> 00:57:02,820
Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
1294
00:57:18,969 --> 00:57:20,571
What's the matter, Bingy?
1295
00:57:20,605 --> 00:57:22,707
A little clumsy
to get in your pocket?
1296
00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:24,709
I was just looking at it.
Pretty, ain't it?
1297
00:57:24,742 --> 00:57:26,611
I was just looking
for the price tag.
1298
00:57:26,644 --> 00:57:27,545
What do you want?
1299
00:57:27,578 --> 00:57:29,213
Oh, nothing, nothing.
I just blew over.
1300
00:57:29,246 --> 00:57:31,849
I wanted to see how
the old newshound looked
1301
00:57:31,882 --> 00:57:33,651
made up for a gentleman.
1302
00:57:33,684 --> 00:57:35,986
Would you like to have me
turn around for you, Bingy?
1303
00:57:36,020 --> 00:57:38,155
Oh, boy, I'd love it.
1304
00:57:45,262 --> 00:57:46,230
How's that?
1305
00:57:46,263 --> 00:57:47,231
Not bad.
1306
00:57:47,264 --> 00:57:48,766
Not good, but not bad.
1307
00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:51,068
You ought to be able
to fool about almost anybody.
1308
00:57:51,101 --> 00:57:52,603
Is that so?
1309
00:57:52,637 --> 00:57:53,403
Well, have you seen enough,
1310
00:57:53,437 --> 00:57:54,805
or would you like a photograph?
1311
00:57:54,839 --> 00:57:55,806
A photograph?
1312
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:56,874
What's the matter,
1313
00:57:56,907 --> 00:57:59,043
hasn't Mama had you
done in oils yet?
1314
00:57:59,076 --> 00:58:01,846
* Just a gigolo
Da, da, da, da, da **
1315
00:58:01,879 --> 00:58:02,980
Now, get this, mug,
1316
00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:05,850
you've got the kind of chin
I'd just love to touch.
1317
00:58:05,883 --> 00:58:07,217
If you don't get out of here,
1318
00:58:07,251 --> 00:58:08,919
I'm gonna hang one right on it.
1319
00:58:08,953 --> 00:58:11,756
Take it easy, Dempsey.
Just relax, my boy.
1320
00:58:11,789 --> 00:58:13,858
Relax and open your pores.
1321
00:58:13,891 --> 00:58:15,626
I bring a message from Garcia.
1322
00:58:15,660 --> 00:58:16,527
Yeah?
1323
00:58:16,561 --> 00:58:18,663
The boss sent me over
to offer you a job.
1324
00:58:18,696 --> 00:58:20,736
He wants you to write
a daily column on the Tribune.
1325
00:58:20,765 --> 00:58:21,799
Go on.
1326
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,000
Well, it's all right.
1327
00:58:23,033 --> 00:58:24,201
You can write your own ticket.
1328
00:58:24,234 --> 00:58:25,936
$150 bucks a week.
1329
00:58:25,970 --> 00:58:27,147
All right, I'll bite.
What's the catch?
1330
00:58:27,171 --> 00:58:29,139
There's no catch.
This is on the up and up.
1331
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:30,775
Of course, all you have to do
1332
00:58:30,808 --> 00:58:32,009
is just sign the article
1333
00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:34,311
"By Anne Schuyler's husband."
1334
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:36,847
Well, how does
the old Cinderella man
1335
00:58:36,881 --> 00:58:39,249
feel about that?
1336
00:58:42,019 --> 00:58:45,255
Well bowled, sir, very neat.
1337
00:58:46,924 --> 00:58:49,894
That's what I think
of it, Bingy.
1338
00:58:52,763 --> 00:58:54,632
Smythe, the gentlemen
is leaving.
1339
00:58:54,665 --> 00:58:55,900
Yes, sir.
1340
00:59:08,613 --> 00:59:10,848
Good morning, Mother.
1341
00:59:13,751 --> 00:59:15,886
Didn't I tell you
he'd be marvelous?
1342
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,188
Everybody thought he was
so charming last night.
1343
00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:19,690
I was so worried
1344
00:59:19,724 --> 00:59:21,291
he'd knock over a vase
or something.
1345
00:59:21,325 --> 00:59:22,760
I must have acted like an idiot.
1346
00:59:22,793 --> 00:59:26,096
What does it say about
the reception last night?
1347
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:27,164
Oh, the usual thing.
1348
00:59:27,197 --> 00:59:28,265
"Blah blah blah
1349
00:59:28,298 --> 00:59:30,300
"attended the
blah blah reception
1350
00:59:30,334 --> 00:59:31,712
"and wore the same
blah blah things.
1351
00:59:31,736 --> 00:59:32,937
Stop it, Anne.
1352
00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:33,938
You're behaving like
1353
00:59:33,971 --> 00:59:35,640
the person you're married to.
1354
00:59:35,673 --> 00:59:37,651
Oh, you don't have anything
to complain about, mother.
1355
00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:39,644
He was all right last night,
wasn't he?
1356
00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:41,078
I told you
not to worry about him.
1357
00:59:41,111 --> 00:59:43,013
It was a miracle.
1358
00:59:43,047 --> 00:59:44,682
The man was ill or something.
1359
00:59:45,916 --> 00:59:46,884
Mother!
1360
00:59:46,917 --> 00:59:48,919
Look. Look.
1361
00:59:48,953 --> 00:59:50,187
The front page.
1362
00:59:59,797 --> 01:00:03,901
I knew it. I knew it.
I felt it in my bones.
1363
01:00:03,934 --> 01:00:05,636
Did you see the papers?
1364
01:00:05,670 --> 01:00:07,304
"Cinderella Man
grows hair on chest."
1365
01:00:07,337 --> 01:00:09,373
This is the most terrible kind
of publicity--
1366
01:00:09,406 --> 01:00:10,975
Don't you think
I know it, Grayson?
1367
01:00:11,008 --> 01:00:13,110
Smith, send for Mr. Smythe.
1368
01:00:13,143 --> 01:00:14,845
Smythe, send for Mr. Smith.
1369
01:00:14,879 --> 01:00:17,014
Double-strength.
1370
01:00:20,050 --> 01:00:21,886
"Cinderella Man
grows hair on chest."
1371
01:00:21,919 --> 01:00:25,923
"'I wear the pants,'
says Anne Schuyler's husband."
1372
01:01:05,730 --> 01:01:09,099
Good morning, everybody.
1373
01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:12,970
Maybe it isn't
good morning, huh?
1374
01:01:13,003 --> 01:01:14,839
Anne, did you ever get a feeling
1375
01:01:14,872 --> 01:01:17,141
there was somebody else
in the room with you?
1376
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:18,342
Have you seen this?
1377
01:01:18,375 --> 01:01:19,443
Yeah, the worm.
1378
01:01:19,476 --> 01:01:20,410
I beg your pardon?
1379
01:01:20,444 --> 01:01:22,713
He's a worm,
and I'm going to step on him.
1380
01:01:22,747 --> 01:01:24,715
To engage in a brawl,
a cheap, common brawl
1381
01:01:24,749 --> 01:01:25,716
in my own home.
1382
01:01:25,750 --> 01:01:27,317
"I wear the pants".
1383
01:01:27,351 --> 01:01:29,019
"The pants."
Not even "the trousers."
1384
01:01:29,053 --> 01:01:30,721
I've tried to stop
the evening papers,
1385
01:01:30,755 --> 01:01:31,722
but it's useless.
1386
01:01:31,756 --> 01:01:32,723
You quit trying to stop anybody.
1387
01:01:32,757 --> 01:01:34,124
Well, at best,
you might deny it.
1388
01:01:34,158 --> 01:01:36,326
Why deny it? The more you deny,
the more they print.
1389
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,729
Let them alone. The thing
to do is to sit still.
1390
01:01:38,763 --> 01:01:40,731
Keep your trap shut.
Trap shut?
1391
01:01:40,765 --> 01:01:44,468
I'll take care of this guy,
Bingy, myself, personally.
1392
01:01:44,501 --> 01:01:46,737
Now, what are you crying about?
1393
01:01:46,771 --> 01:01:48,873
Oh, is this true, Stewart?
Did you really say it?
1394
01:01:48,906 --> 01:01:52,142
Yes, I said it. I didn't say it
for publication, however.
1395
01:01:52,176 --> 01:01:53,410
And you struck him right here?
1396
01:01:53,443 --> 01:01:54,244
Yes, I'm sorry.
1397
01:01:54,278 --> 01:01:56,246
I struck him right here
in your house,
1398
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:57,948
and I'll strike anybody
in anybody's house
1399
01:01:57,982 --> 01:01:59,817
that calls me a Cinderella Man.
1400
01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:01,819
Well, what else do you
expect them to call you?
1401
01:02:01,852 --> 01:02:02,686
Dexter.
1402
01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:04,889
That's the 14th crack
you've made to me.
1403
01:02:04,922 --> 01:02:07,057
I'm keeping count of them.
When they get to 20,
1404
01:02:07,091 --> 01:02:08,993
I'm going to sock you
right in that nose.
1405
01:02:09,026 --> 01:02:10,127
As a matter of fact,
1406
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:11,528
I ought to sock you right now.
1407
01:02:11,561 --> 01:02:13,163
Anne Schuyler, are you
going to sit there
1408
01:02:13,197 --> 01:02:14,364
and watch this man insult us?
1409
01:02:14,398 --> 01:02:15,299
Haven't you any decency left?
1410
01:02:15,332 --> 01:02:18,002
Well, why doesn't Dexter
show some decency?
1411
01:02:18,035 --> 01:02:19,436
And you might show some
too, Mother.
1412
01:02:19,469 --> 01:02:21,105
What do you expect a man to do
1413
01:02:21,138 --> 01:02:22,506
when he's called such names?
1414
01:02:22,539 --> 01:02:24,141
I'm glad you hit
that reporter, Stewart,
1415
01:02:24,174 --> 01:02:25,409
he deserved it.
1416
01:02:25,442 --> 01:02:27,411
All right, all right.
1417
01:02:27,444 --> 01:02:30,047
It's your funeral,
Anne Schuyler.
1418
01:02:32,817 --> 01:02:34,751
Go on, beat it, shadow.
1419
01:02:40,858 --> 01:02:42,793
Cinderella Man.
1420
01:02:42,827 --> 01:02:45,062
That's 15.
1421
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:57,207
Pardon me, madam,
1422
01:02:57,241 --> 01:02:59,343
they've phoned through
from the mayor's reception
1423
01:02:59,376 --> 01:03:00,144
to remind you
1424
01:03:00,177 --> 01:03:02,279
it's past the hour
for the reception.
1425
01:03:02,312 --> 01:03:03,213
Are the cars ready?
1426
01:03:03,247 --> 01:03:05,149
They have been ready
for the last half hour.
1427
01:03:05,182 --> 01:03:08,218
I hope I don't have to make
any speeches tonight, Anne.
1428
01:03:08,252 --> 01:03:10,354
Oh, you can't disappoint
all those women.
1429
01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:12,156
You know, it isn't every day
1430
01:03:12,189 --> 01:03:14,358
they get to see a famous
round-the-world flier.
1431
01:03:14,391 --> 01:03:16,160
Yes, I know, but
they scare me to death.
1432
01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:17,561
You know, this is
the fourth dinner
1433
01:03:17,594 --> 01:03:19,196
you've taken me to this week.
1434
01:03:19,229 --> 01:03:20,564
I'm running out of material.
1435
01:03:20,597 --> 01:03:22,166
Are you complaining?
1436
01:03:22,199 --> 01:03:23,576
Yes, there's always
too many other people around.
1437
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:24,969
Anne, it's getting late.
1438
01:03:25,002 --> 01:03:26,436
What are we waiting for?
1439
01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:28,338
You're waiting for my husband.
1440
01:03:28,372 --> 01:03:29,907
If you'll excuse me,
1441
01:03:29,940 --> 01:03:31,909
I'll run up and see
what that slowpoke's doing.
1442
01:03:31,942 --> 01:03:32,942
I'll be right back.
1443
01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:58,835
Stewart,
we're all waiting for you.
1444
01:03:59,970 --> 01:04:01,338
Where's your valet?
1445
01:04:01,371 --> 01:04:03,040
I poisoned him.
1446
01:04:03,073 --> 01:04:05,409
Stop trying to be funny
and get ready, will you?
1447
01:04:05,442 --> 01:04:06,610
Oh...
1448
01:04:06,643 --> 01:04:07,878
I'm not going.
1449
01:04:07,912 --> 01:04:09,179
What are you talking about?
1450
01:04:09,213 --> 01:04:10,647
I'm talking about I'm not going.
1451
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,050
What am I going downstairs
and tell those people?
1452
01:04:13,083 --> 01:04:15,419
Go downstairs and tell them--
Tell them anything.
1453
01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:18,188
Tell them I'm not going.
Tell them I'm not at home.
1454
01:04:18,222 --> 01:04:21,158
Stewart, would you mind
telling me why you're not going?
1455
01:04:21,191 --> 01:04:22,635
Yes, I'll tell you.
For the same reason
1456
01:04:22,659 --> 01:04:25,229
I've never wanted to go out
with those social parasites,
1457
01:04:25,262 --> 01:04:26,663
those sweet-smelling
fashion plates.
1458
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,466
I don't like them. They bore me.
They give me the jitters.
1459
01:04:29,499 --> 01:04:31,177
Do you know you're talking
about my friends?
1460
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:32,937
Yes, I'm talking
about your friends,
1461
01:04:32,970 --> 01:04:34,571
and they still
give me the jitters.
1462
01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:37,041
Well, are you going
or aren't you?
1463
01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:38,175
Anne, come here.
1464
01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:39,676
Look out for
my lipstick, Stewart.
1465
01:04:39,709 --> 01:04:41,078
I tell you what let's do.
1466
01:04:41,111 --> 01:04:43,213
Let's you and me
sneak out all by ourselves.
1467
01:04:43,247 --> 01:04:44,448
Are you crazy?
1468
01:04:44,481 --> 01:04:45,649
Think of the fun we can have.
1469
01:04:45,682 --> 01:04:47,051
We'll sneak down the back stairs
1470
01:04:47,084 --> 01:04:48,385
and get in the valet's Ford--
1471
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:50,955
Will you stop
being silly, Stewart?
1472
01:04:50,988 --> 01:04:52,056
I'll tell you what I'll do.
1473
01:04:52,089 --> 01:04:54,391
I'll introduce you to all my
gang, would you like that?
1474
01:04:54,424 --> 01:04:56,360
But I don't want
to meet your gang.
1475
01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:58,362
I don't mean the newspaper
fellows you don't like.
1476
01:04:58,395 --> 01:04:59,596
Another gang I know.
1477
01:04:59,629 --> 01:05:01,165
You'd love them.
1478
01:05:01,198 --> 01:05:02,242
They're writers,
they're musicians,
1479
01:05:02,266 --> 01:05:03,700
they're artists.
1480
01:05:03,733 --> 01:05:06,003
Great crowd of people.
Do great things.
1481
01:05:06,036 --> 01:05:07,104
People worthwhile.
1482
01:05:07,137 --> 01:05:09,473
Meaning that my friends
aren't worthwhile, I suppose?
1483
01:05:09,506 --> 01:05:11,608
Oh, they're all right--
That's what you mean.
1484
01:05:11,641 --> 01:05:14,244
Heaven knows, you've made that
clear to me often enough,
1485
01:05:14,278 --> 01:05:16,013
and I'm sick and tired of it.
1486
01:05:16,046 --> 01:05:17,381
I've given you
party after party.
1487
01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:19,984
I've taken you into
the best homes in this town
1488
01:05:20,017 --> 01:05:21,461
and introduced you
to people of importance,
1489
01:05:21,485 --> 01:05:23,353
and are you grateful? No.
Well--
1490
01:05:23,387 --> 01:05:25,355
You insult them
and act like a boor.
1491
01:05:25,389 --> 01:05:27,357
I'm sick and tired of
making excuses for you
1492
01:05:27,391 --> 01:05:29,026
and the things you've done.
1493
01:05:29,059 --> 01:05:30,670
Perhaps it's just as well
you're not coming tonight.
1494
01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:32,529
Maybe I can enjoy
myself for once
1495
01:05:32,562 --> 01:05:34,264
without having
to worry about you
1496
01:05:34,298 --> 01:05:35,932
and what you're going to do.
1497
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:47,477
And that, my friend,
1498
01:05:47,511 --> 01:05:50,147
is what is known
as, "Society belle
1499
01:05:50,180 --> 01:05:52,983
"telling ex-star
newspaper reporter to go to--
1500
01:05:53,017 --> 01:05:56,987
How have you been, Mr. Smith?"
1501
01:07:16,233 --> 01:07:17,701
Did you call, sir?
1502
01:07:17,734 --> 01:07:19,736
Smythe.
Yes.
1503
01:07:19,769 --> 01:07:22,072
Smythe, come here.
1504
01:07:22,106 --> 01:07:24,208
I want to talk to you.
1505
01:07:24,241 --> 01:07:28,078
Smythe, come here.
1506
01:07:28,112 --> 01:07:29,779
Come on, Smythe,
talk to me, will you?
1507
01:07:31,681 --> 01:07:33,083
Smythe, I'm going nuts!
1508
01:07:33,117 --> 01:07:35,452
I'm going nuts in this house!
1509
01:07:35,485 --> 01:07:38,622
This big--
Come here.
1510
01:07:38,655 --> 01:07:39,823
I'm not going to hurt you.
1511
01:07:39,856 --> 01:07:42,326
Come on, come on.
1512
01:07:42,359 --> 01:07:45,095
Come on, what's
the matter with you?
1513
01:07:45,129 --> 01:07:46,363
Come here.
1514
01:07:51,635 --> 01:07:53,103
Shh.
1515
01:07:57,874 --> 01:07:59,476
Do you hear something?
1516
01:07:59,509 --> 01:08:00,610
Yes, sir.
You try it.
1517
01:08:00,644 --> 01:08:03,847
Me, sir?
Yes.
1518
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:07,851
Give it more volume.
1519
01:08:12,789 --> 01:08:15,392
All right.
No, no, that's enough.
1520
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:18,662
I just wanted
to give you an idea.
1521
01:08:18,695 --> 01:08:21,531
Now you know.
This house is haunted.
1522
01:08:21,565 --> 01:08:23,133
No, sir.
Yes, sir.
1523
01:08:23,167 --> 01:08:24,901
Have you looked in the closets?
1524
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:25,902
Yes, sir.
1525
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,871
Found no skeletons?
No, sir.
1526
01:08:27,904 --> 01:08:29,206
It's haunted just the same.
1527
01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:31,241
Yes, sir.
House is-- Here.
1528
01:08:31,275 --> 01:08:33,310
Smythe, what do you do
with yourself?
1529
01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:34,744
I mean, when you're not carrying
1530
01:08:34,778 --> 01:08:36,313
those double-strength,
what do you do?
1531
01:08:36,346 --> 01:08:39,416
Well, sir, I putter.
1532
01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:42,252
Smythe...
1533
01:08:42,286 --> 01:08:44,288
when you're alone and
want to amuse yourself,
1534
01:08:44,321 --> 01:08:45,622
then what?
1535
01:08:45,655 --> 01:08:47,924
I just putter.
1536
01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:50,327
You putter, huh?
1537
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:52,396
Do you have to have
a putter to putter?
1538
01:08:52,429 --> 01:08:56,833
No, sir.
I putter with my hands.
1539
01:08:56,866 --> 01:08:58,568
Well, isn't that nice.
1540
01:08:58,602 --> 01:09:02,739
You just go right ahead
with your... That's all right.
1541
01:09:02,772 --> 01:09:04,608
How do you do that?
1542
01:09:04,641 --> 01:09:06,610
Well, sir, I'll show you.
1543
01:09:19,256 --> 01:09:21,558
That's puttering, sir.
1544
01:09:21,591 --> 01:09:23,393
No. That's--
1545
01:09:23,427 --> 01:09:26,230
Well, well, it's all right
if you like it. What--?
1546
01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:30,234
Can anybody--?
Anybody can do that?
1547
01:09:30,267 --> 01:09:31,501
Oh, no, sir.
1548
01:09:31,535 --> 01:09:33,337
Some people
are natural putterers,
1549
01:09:33,370 --> 01:09:34,838
others can never master it.
1550
01:09:34,871 --> 01:09:36,673
Oh, my. You mean
some people are born
1551
01:09:36,706 --> 01:09:38,308
and never would
become putterers?
1552
01:09:38,342 --> 01:09:39,643
Yes.
Oh, my.
1553
01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:41,345
Wouldn't that be tragic,
1554
01:09:41,378 --> 01:09:43,913
to know that you could
never be a putterer?
1555
01:09:43,947 --> 01:09:45,349
Yes.
How about me?
1556
01:09:45,382 --> 01:09:47,417
Do you think if I concentrated
1557
01:09:47,451 --> 01:09:49,286
and put my whole soul into it,
1558
01:09:49,319 --> 01:09:51,355
that some day,
I might be a putterer?
1559
01:09:51,388 --> 01:09:52,422
You, sir?
1560
01:09:52,456 --> 01:09:54,224
You could never be a putterer.
1561
01:09:54,258 --> 01:09:56,260
Not a good putterer, sir.
1562
01:09:56,293 --> 01:09:59,429
I don't want to putter.
If I can't be a good putterer--
1563
01:09:59,463 --> 01:10:01,765
Why? What makes you think
I couldn't be a good putterer?
1564
01:10:01,798 --> 01:10:03,733
Well, sir, to be a putterer,
1565
01:10:03,767 --> 01:10:05,969
one's mind must be at ease.
1566
01:10:06,002 --> 01:10:09,339
A person with a problem
could never be a putterer.
1567
01:10:09,373 --> 01:10:10,974
For instance,
1568
01:10:11,007 --> 01:10:14,478
a fish can putter in water
but not on land,
1569
01:10:14,511 --> 01:10:16,480
because he'd be out of place.
1570
01:10:16,513 --> 01:10:20,484
An eagle can putter around
the rugged mountaintops,
1571
01:10:20,517 --> 01:10:21,951
but not in a cage,
1572
01:10:21,985 --> 01:10:24,421
because he'd be restless
and unhappy.
1573
01:10:24,454 --> 01:10:27,491
Now, if you will pardon me,
with all respect,
1574
01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:33,297
as a Smythe to a Smith,
you are an eagle in a cage.
1575
01:10:33,330 --> 01:10:35,965
A bird in a gilded cage?
1576
01:10:35,999 --> 01:10:38,702
Yes, sir.
That's all I want to know.
1577
01:10:59,523 --> 01:11:01,425
Hello.
1578
01:11:01,458 --> 01:11:02,926
Hello, Gallagher.
1579
01:11:02,959 --> 01:11:06,062
Hello, Gallagher, old pal.
How are you old pal, huh?
1580
01:11:06,095 --> 01:11:08,965
Oh, hello, Stew.
1581
01:11:08,998 --> 01:11:10,967
I'm pretty good.
Can't complain.
1582
01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:12,769
How is our gentleman of leisure?
1583
01:11:12,802 --> 01:11:15,539
I'm on the coast of Norway,
and I can't get out.
1584
01:11:15,572 --> 01:11:17,907
Will you come get me
out of the coast of Norway?
1585
01:11:17,941 --> 01:11:21,077
Oh, your play.
1586
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:22,011
Hmm. Yeah, "Act 1, Scene 1.
1587
01:11:22,045 --> 01:11:24,881
Coast of Norway"
and then a lot of blanks.
1588
01:11:24,914 --> 01:11:26,550
Is that it?
1589
01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:29,018
Eh? Come on.
1590
01:11:29,052 --> 01:11:31,388
Oh, don't be silly.
All right, all right.
1591
01:11:31,421 --> 01:11:34,924
If you feel like
you need a chaperon, call up...
1592
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:36,926
Call up Hank.
1593
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:40,530
Yeah, you'll find him
at Joe's, no doubt.
1594
01:11:40,564 --> 01:11:43,433
Yeah. Hank would be my idea
of a perfect bodyguard.
1595
01:11:43,467 --> 01:11:45,902
Sure you would. I knew I could
depend on you, old pal.
1596
01:11:45,935 --> 01:11:47,404
Snap it up, will you, Gallagher?
1597
01:11:47,437 --> 01:11:49,873
Okay.
1598
01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:00,350
Smythe, I'll get this.
1599
01:12:00,384 --> 01:12:01,485
I'm expecting some friends.
1600
01:12:01,518 --> 01:12:04,087
Very good, sir.
1601
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:07,391
Well, Gallagher.
Come in, come in!
1602
01:12:07,424 --> 01:12:08,392
I'm glad to see you.
1603
01:12:08,425 --> 01:12:09,426
Hello, Hank. How are you?
1604
01:12:09,459 --> 01:12:10,259
Fine, but kind of thirsty.
1605
01:12:10,293 --> 01:12:12,562
Come right in.
I'll get you a drink.
1606
01:12:12,596 --> 01:12:13,930
Oh, say. You remember Joe.
Sure.
1607
01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:16,366
Well, I sort of invited
him along to bend an elbow.
1608
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:17,443
It's all right.
Bring him in.
1609
01:12:17,467 --> 01:12:18,768
Come on, Joe.
It's all right.
1610
01:12:18,802 --> 01:12:20,404
Hello, Joe.
Hello, kid. How are you?
1611
01:12:20,437 --> 01:12:21,438
Glad to see you.
1612
01:12:21,471 --> 01:12:22,872
Just a minute.
Johnson's outside.
1613
01:12:22,906 --> 01:12:23,740
You don't mind
1614
01:12:23,773 --> 01:12:25,875
if he comes in
and dips the beak, do you?
1615
01:12:25,909 --> 01:12:27,677
No, no. Bring him in,
the more the merrier.
1616
01:12:27,711 --> 01:12:29,613
Hello, Johnson.
1617
01:12:29,646 --> 01:12:31,381
Hello, Stew, old pal.
How are you?
1618
01:12:31,415 --> 01:12:32,749
Look, wait a minute.
1619
01:12:32,782 --> 01:12:34,584
I got two of the boys
I brought along.
1620
01:12:34,618 --> 01:12:36,052
You don't mind if I bring--
1621
01:12:36,085 --> 01:12:37,587
You brought two?
Yeah.
1622
01:12:37,621 --> 01:12:38,888
That's all right.
Bring them in.
1623
01:12:38,922 --> 01:12:40,390
Ned, Fred, come on in.
1624
01:12:40,424 --> 01:12:42,526
Hello, boys.
Stew.
1625
01:12:42,559 --> 01:12:44,761
Come right in.
Hello.
1626
01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:46,463
Hello, Stew.
1627
01:12:46,496 --> 01:12:47,697
Stew, old boy.
1628
01:12:47,731 --> 01:12:49,599
Hello, Stew.
1629
01:12:49,633 --> 01:12:52,902
Hello, sonny-boy.
1630
01:12:52,936 --> 01:12:55,639
Hi, Stew, how's the boy?
1631
01:12:55,672 --> 01:12:57,507
Hello, Stew.
Well, Stew!
1632
01:12:57,541 --> 01:13:00,544
I'm sorry nobody could come.
1633
01:13:00,577 --> 01:13:02,045
Well, my old pal Stew.
1634
01:13:02,078 --> 01:13:04,013
If it isn't Sweetheart.
Hello.
1635
01:13:04,047 --> 01:13:05,625
Why didn't you bring
your family with you?
1636
01:13:05,649 --> 01:13:06,416
The rest of the gang
1637
01:13:06,450 --> 01:13:08,151
had to get out
the morning edition,
1638
01:13:08,184 --> 01:13:09,753
but they'll be down later.
1639
01:13:09,786 --> 01:13:11,588
Now Hank, are you sure
they're coming?
1640
01:13:11,621 --> 01:13:12,589
It will be lonesome
without them.
1641
01:13:12,622 --> 01:13:14,591
Smythe, take this crowd in
and give them a drink,
1642
01:13:14,624 --> 01:13:17,594
and find out what the boys
in the back room want.
1643
01:13:20,229 --> 01:13:23,032
I say there, Smythe,
don't be holding out on us.
1644
01:13:23,066 --> 01:13:24,568
We're willing to help you.
1645
01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:46,990
It isn't done, gentlemen.
It isn't done, I said.
1646
01:13:47,023 --> 01:13:48,792
It isn't done.
I'll be right with you.
1647
01:13:48,825 --> 01:13:52,596
Well, Gallagher, you certainly
took no chances, did you?
1648
01:13:52,629 --> 01:13:54,030
I'm sorry, Stew.
1649
01:13:54,063 --> 01:13:56,065
I asked Hank, and, well,
Hank did the rest.
1650
01:13:56,099 --> 01:13:58,067
I see. Hank brought them all?
That's all right.
1651
01:13:58,101 --> 01:14:00,069
We'll give them a drink,
and we'll throw them out.
1652
01:14:00,103 --> 01:14:01,237
Holy--
1653
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:03,940
Is there a green elephant
standing beside that fella?
1654
01:14:03,973 --> 01:14:08,044
No. This is just
little Bingy Baker.
1655
01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:09,779
Bingy--
Ah, ah, ah.
1656
01:14:09,813 --> 01:14:10,880
Ah.
1657
01:14:12,782 --> 01:14:14,584
Big Chief Bingy
1658
01:14:14,618 --> 01:14:17,621
come to white man's tepee
to make friends.
1659
01:14:17,654 --> 01:14:20,724
Big Chief very sorry.
1660
01:14:20,757 --> 01:14:23,192
To show how sorry will bend over
1661
01:14:23,226 --> 01:14:25,695
and let white man kick Big Chief
1662
01:14:25,729 --> 01:14:29,032
where sun never shines.
1663
01:14:30,767 --> 01:14:33,637
Excuse me, Gallagher.
I wouldn't miss this for--
1664
01:14:42,879 --> 01:14:44,581
Mm.
1665
01:14:44,614 --> 01:14:46,550
Firewater all right.
1666
01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:54,257
Well, Stew,
that's all thrashed out.
1667
01:14:54,290 --> 01:14:55,892
By golly, I'm certainly glad
1668
01:14:55,925 --> 01:14:57,193
you're not really sore.
1669
01:14:57,226 --> 01:14:58,261
You know our racket.
1670
01:14:58,294 --> 01:14:59,696
After all, news is news.
1671
01:14:59,729 --> 01:15:01,230
Sure. It's all right.
1672
01:15:01,264 --> 01:15:02,808
That was a great story.
I wished I'd printed it.
1673
01:15:02,832 --> 01:15:04,834
Well, I gave her
the breaks, didn't I?
1674
01:15:04,868 --> 01:15:06,670
That was the hairy-chest story.
1675
01:15:06,703 --> 01:15:08,705
You raised it
up to the chin, I see.
1676
01:15:08,738 --> 01:15:10,807
Go on in the other room
and get yourself a drink.
1677
01:15:22,719 --> 01:15:23,787
Hey, Smythe!
1678
01:15:23,820 --> 01:15:25,254
Smythe!
1679
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,090
Give them one drink
and throw them out.
1680
01:15:27,123 --> 01:15:30,760
Yes, sir.
We're gonna give him one.
1681
01:15:30,794 --> 01:15:32,762
You know what
I should do with you?
1682
01:15:32,796 --> 01:15:34,964
I should sock you
right in that funny nose.
1683
01:15:34,998 --> 01:15:38,101
Yes, and I'd love it.
Sure, you'd love it.
1684
01:15:47,777 --> 01:15:49,679
How far have you gotten?
1685
01:15:49,713 --> 01:15:53,182
Just been able to get off
of that Norway coast so far.
1686
01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:57,053
"Act 1, Scene 1.
A street in Old Madrid."
1687
01:15:57,086 --> 01:15:58,988
Well, you're not
getting your play done,
1688
01:15:59,022 --> 01:16:01,124
but you're certainly
covering a lot of territory.
1689
01:16:01,157 --> 01:16:02,792
Haven't I covered
some territory?
1690
01:16:02,826 --> 01:16:05,061
Feel like I've been
on a cook's tour someplace.
1691
01:16:05,094 --> 01:16:07,263
Stew, have you ever
been to Old Madrid?
1692
01:16:07,296 --> 01:16:08,765
Been where?
1693
01:16:08,798 --> 01:16:10,700
To Old Madrid?
1694
01:16:10,734 --> 01:16:12,769
No. I never even been
to new Madrid.
1695
01:16:12,802 --> 01:16:14,671
Then how do you expect
to write about it?
1696
01:16:14,704 --> 01:16:17,006
Oh, I'll draw on
my imagination, I suppose.
1697
01:16:17,040 --> 01:16:18,675
Ah, did Conrad draw
on his imagination?
1698
01:16:18,708 --> 01:16:20,309
Did who?
Conrad.
1699
01:16:20,343 --> 01:16:21,845
What do you know about Conrad?
1700
01:16:21,878 --> 01:16:23,179
I don't know a thing about him,
1701
01:16:23,212 --> 01:16:25,181
but isn't he the one
you're always yelling about?
1702
01:16:25,214 --> 01:16:26,616
Gosh, you look cute.
1703
01:16:26,650 --> 01:16:28,785
Isn't he the one
that always writes
1704
01:16:28,818 --> 01:16:30,687
only about the things
he knows about?
1705
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:33,189
Then why don't you write
about something you know?
1706
01:16:33,222 --> 01:16:35,224
Write about yourself and Anne.
1707
01:16:35,258 --> 01:16:37,160
The poor boy who marries
a rich girl.
1708
01:16:37,193 --> 01:16:39,162
Now, there's a swell theme.
1709
01:16:42,165 --> 01:16:46,002
Gee, that's an idea
there, Gallagher.
1710
01:16:46,035 --> 01:16:47,871
That's an idea there.
I wonder, now.
1711
01:16:47,904 --> 01:16:49,005
Oh, sure.
1712
01:16:49,038 --> 01:16:52,241
She'd make a beautiful heroine.
1713
01:16:52,275 --> 01:16:55,311
And there's her mother.
1714
01:16:55,344 --> 01:16:57,380
And oh, what a character
that old dame would make
1715
01:16:57,413 --> 01:16:59,415
with her double-strength.
1716
01:16:59,448 --> 01:17:00,984
And that lawyer friend
of theirs.
1717
01:17:01,017 --> 01:17:02,886
He'd make a great villain.
Sure.
1718
01:17:02,919 --> 01:17:04,187
And there's you.
1719
01:17:04,220 --> 01:17:06,355
What could I be?
1720
01:17:06,389 --> 01:17:08,324
I don't know.
You could be something...
1721
01:17:08,357 --> 01:17:10,727
Come on, scram. We got an idea.
Let's get this set.
1722
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:14,230
It's a great idea, now.
A great idea for a play.
1723
01:17:14,263 --> 01:17:17,133
Get me a cigarette, will you?
1724
01:17:17,166 --> 01:17:18,968
Let's don't lose this. Just...
1725
01:17:23,039 --> 01:17:24,007
Here you are.
1726
01:17:24,040 --> 01:17:25,809
All right, thanks.
1727
01:17:25,842 --> 01:17:29,045
Now, let's see. Uh...
1728
01:17:29,078 --> 01:17:30,814
How will I start?
1729
01:17:33,750 --> 01:17:35,719
Hey, pal,
how would you start, huh?
1730
01:17:47,363 --> 01:17:49,398
Smythe, you're a slave.
1731
01:17:49,432 --> 01:17:53,402
What's the difference
between a king and a butler?
1732
01:18:01,144 --> 01:18:02,779
Say, you can't come in here.
1733
01:18:02,812 --> 01:18:05,248
This is a private party.
1734
01:18:16,325 --> 01:18:17,426
Hey! Hey!
1735
01:18:18,995 --> 01:18:21,330
My old classmate from Harvard.
1736
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:24,300
Whoopee! Harvard. '98.
Hello, Mama.
1737
01:18:32,508 --> 01:18:34,477
And I know who's
the cause of it all.
1738
01:18:34,510 --> 01:18:36,479
Oh, Dexter.
1739
01:18:36,512 --> 01:18:37,512
Smythe!
1740
01:18:41,384 --> 01:18:43,286
Smythe!
1741
01:18:51,861 --> 01:18:53,830
Who are these people?
1742
01:18:53,863 --> 01:18:55,832
Friends of mine.
1743
01:18:55,865 --> 01:19:00,536
Very lit-- lit--
Very literary people.
1744
01:19:00,569 --> 01:19:01,838
He's drunk.
1745
01:19:01,871 --> 01:19:04,974
Smythe, you've been drinking.
1746
01:19:05,008 --> 01:19:08,011
I have, double-strength.
1747
01:19:08,044 --> 01:19:09,478
Very drunk.
1748
01:19:09,512 --> 01:19:11,214
Where is Mr. Smith?
1749
01:19:11,247 --> 01:19:14,283
Well, for crying out loud,
I don't know.
1750
01:19:14,317 --> 01:19:17,987
And I don't care.
1751
01:19:18,021 --> 01:19:20,056
Ha, ha, ha! Whoopee!
1752
01:19:20,089 --> 01:19:22,158
Very, very drunk.
1753
01:19:22,191 --> 01:19:24,327
Now, Gallagher,
1754
01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:26,195
if we could only get
a great scene,
1755
01:19:26,229 --> 01:19:27,931
a tremendously emotional scene,
1756
01:19:27,964 --> 01:19:28,998
something to just
1757
01:19:29,032 --> 01:19:30,209
wring the hearts
out of the public
1758
01:19:30,233 --> 01:19:32,001
to bring the curtain down
in the second act,
1759
01:19:32,035 --> 01:19:32,936
we'd be okay.
1760
01:19:32,969 --> 01:19:35,371
Couldn't dig one
out of your hat, could you?
1761
01:19:35,404 --> 01:19:37,473
Afraid I'm all out
of tricks tonight.
1762
01:19:37,506 --> 01:19:38,541
Now we've got them
1763
01:19:38,574 --> 01:19:40,910
right up to where the boy's
wearing his white spats,
1764
01:19:40,944 --> 01:19:42,812
and going to pink teas,
and the frau enters.
1765
01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:43,813
How's that?
Very good.
1766
01:19:43,847 --> 01:19:46,850
Now, if we could get where--
1767
01:19:52,021 --> 01:19:53,923
Oh, hello, Anne.
1768
01:19:53,957 --> 01:19:55,859
Good morning.
1769
01:19:55,892 --> 01:19:58,127
What does this mean?
What does what mean?
1770
01:19:58,161 --> 01:20:00,096
Oh, that mob downstairs,
1771
01:20:00,129 --> 01:20:01,898
I got so interested in the play,
1772
01:20:01,931 --> 01:20:03,332
I forgot all about them.
Oh, I see.
1773
01:20:03,366 --> 01:20:05,902
And we got a play, Anne.
Have we got a play!
1774
01:20:05,935 --> 01:20:07,503
Of course,
most of it's Gallagher's.
1775
01:20:07,536 --> 01:20:09,005
She did most of it.
1776
01:20:09,038 --> 01:20:10,006
That brain of hers
1777
01:20:10,039 --> 01:20:11,150
just snaps like that
all the time.
1778
01:20:11,174 --> 01:20:13,152
Well, I'm not interested
in the way her brain snaps.
1779
01:20:13,176 --> 01:20:14,286
I think I'd better go, Stew.
1780
01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:17,146
I think you should,
Miss Gallagher.
1781
01:20:17,180 --> 01:20:19,415
Wait a minute, Gallagher.
1782
01:20:19,448 --> 01:20:20,917
What's the idea, Anne?
1783
01:20:20,950 --> 01:20:22,251
The idea is simply this,
1784
01:20:22,285 --> 01:20:24,620
that I want these people
to leave here immediately.
1785
01:20:24,653 --> 01:20:26,856
Wait. Aren't you being
a little unreasonable?
1786
01:20:26,890 --> 01:20:28,157
Unreasonable?
Have you any idea
1787
01:20:28,191 --> 01:20:30,059
what the place
looks like downstairs?
1788
01:20:30,093 --> 01:20:31,627
Do you expect me to stand here
1789
01:20:31,660 --> 01:20:33,629
and see this house
turned into a cheap barroom?
1790
01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:35,932
Now, Anne, don't get excited.
1791
01:20:35,965 --> 01:20:37,943
Perhaps the boys have had
a little too much to drink.
1792
01:20:37,967 --> 01:20:40,345
That's all right, I'm sorry.
I'll go down and throw them out.
1793
01:20:40,369 --> 01:20:42,147
That's no reason
for you to take this attitude.
1794
01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:44,540
I certainly have a right
to invite a few of my friends
1795
01:20:44,573 --> 01:20:46,109
to my house, haven't I?
1796
01:20:46,142 --> 01:20:49,245
Your house?
1797
01:20:49,278 --> 01:20:51,247
Oh, I get you.
1798
01:20:51,280 --> 01:20:54,050
It's all right,
I don't blame you.
1799
01:20:54,083 --> 01:20:56,485
I kind of forgot myself
for a moment there.
1800
01:20:56,519 --> 01:20:58,321
That's what I call
"getting me told,"
1801
01:20:58,354 --> 01:21:00,089
isn't it, Anne?
1802
01:21:00,123 --> 01:21:02,926
I suppose I've been
boarding out this last year.
1803
01:21:02,959 --> 01:21:04,127
All right, I'll tell you this.
1804
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,062
I don't like
your boarding house, lady,
1805
01:21:06,095 --> 01:21:08,031
and if it's all
the same to you, I'm moving out.
1806
01:21:09,498 --> 01:21:11,200
Stewart.
1807
01:21:11,234 --> 01:21:14,103
It's something I should have
done a long time ago,
1808
01:21:14,137 --> 01:21:16,205
only I didn't have
sense enough to do it.
1809
01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:17,673
No, I had to stick around here
1810
01:21:17,706 --> 01:21:19,575
and try to make
a success of something
1811
01:21:19,608 --> 01:21:21,377
that I knew darn well
was a failure
1812
01:21:21,410 --> 01:21:22,578
from the very beginning,
1813
01:21:22,611 --> 01:21:24,080
but no more.
1814
01:21:24,113 --> 01:21:25,014
No more.
So that's that.
1815
01:21:25,048 --> 01:21:27,050
Oh, you can't walk
out of here like this.
1816
01:21:27,083 --> 01:21:29,652
Who's going to stop me? I'd like
to see somebody stop me.
1817
01:21:29,685 --> 01:21:32,021
You don't think I'm going
to stick around this joint,
1818
01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:34,290
just to look at this
mausoleum? Not on your life.
1819
01:21:34,323 --> 01:21:36,525
You're going to make
no stuffed shirt out of me.
1820
01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:38,527
Now, what do you think of that?
1821
01:21:38,561 --> 01:21:39,595
What's going on here?
1822
01:21:39,628 --> 01:21:40,696
Who's this woman?
1823
01:21:40,729 --> 01:21:42,999
Joan of Arc.
What's it to you?
1824
01:21:43,032 --> 01:21:44,267
Heavens, the man's insane!
1825
01:21:44,300 --> 01:21:45,368
Sure I'm insane.
1826
01:21:45,401 --> 01:21:47,170
But I've got
some good news for you.
1827
01:21:47,203 --> 01:21:51,174
This magnolia is leaving your
sweet-smelling vanilla joint.
1828
01:21:51,207 --> 01:21:52,175
This bird in a cage
1829
01:21:52,208 --> 01:21:54,277
is going to button
his own pants from now on.
1830
01:21:54,310 --> 01:21:56,255
And that is what's known
as "telling the mother-in-law."
1831
01:21:56,279 --> 01:21:57,680
Eurek--
1832
01:21:57,713 --> 01:22:00,716
You've done nothing but watch me
ever since I've been here.
1833
01:22:00,749 --> 01:22:02,151
Treated me like a thug,
1834
01:22:02,185 --> 01:22:04,053
watched me like a hawk,
mistrusted me.
1835
01:22:04,087 --> 01:22:05,554
Every time I leave the house,
1836
01:22:05,588 --> 01:22:07,123
that dame counts the silverware.
1837
01:22:07,156 --> 01:22:08,324
That's ridiculous.
1838
01:22:08,357 --> 01:22:10,093
It's all right!
I don't blame her.
1839
01:22:10,126 --> 01:22:11,694
I know I'm out of my own crowd.
1840
01:22:11,727 --> 01:22:13,405
Should have had better sense
from the beginning,
1841
01:22:13,429 --> 01:22:15,965
but I'll stay
in my own backyard from now on.
1842
01:22:15,999 --> 01:22:17,039
You're acting like a child.
1843
01:22:17,066 --> 01:22:19,068
All right, I'm a child.
1844
01:22:19,102 --> 01:22:20,236
Have it any way you want,
1845
01:22:20,269 --> 01:22:23,072
but I'm going back
to my own apartment,
1846
01:22:23,106 --> 01:22:24,683
where I should have lived
in the first place,
1847
01:22:24,707 --> 01:22:26,475
but no, I listened to you
and move here.
1848
01:22:26,509 --> 01:22:28,477
If you want to live with me,
Anne, okay,
1849
01:22:28,511 --> 01:22:30,313
but the sign outside will say
"Mr. Stew Smith"
1850
01:22:30,346 --> 01:22:32,215
and you'll have to be
Mrs. Stew Smith,
1851
01:22:32,248 --> 01:22:33,449
or there's nothing doing.
1852
01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:35,151
No more Anne Schuyler's husband.
1853
01:22:35,184 --> 01:22:37,053
Here's some more news for you.
1854
01:22:37,086 --> 01:22:39,355
You can take your red room,
your green room,
1855
01:22:39,388 --> 01:22:41,157
your left wing, your right wing,
1856
01:22:41,190 --> 01:22:43,026
and you know
what you can do with them.
1857
01:22:43,059 --> 01:22:44,093
Come on, Gallagher.
1858
01:22:44,127 --> 01:22:46,062
Oh, Stewart!
1859
01:22:51,467 --> 01:22:54,070
Could you spare a dime
for a cup of coffee.
1860
01:22:54,103 --> 01:22:56,105
Coffee?
1861
01:22:56,139 --> 01:22:58,374
How would you like to be
the Knight of the Garter?
1862
01:22:58,407 --> 01:22:59,675
Not now. Just coffee.
1863
01:22:59,708 --> 01:23:01,644
It's all right.
Wait just wait a minute.
1864
01:23:03,612 --> 01:23:06,582
Entertain the
gentleman, Gallagher.
1865
01:23:08,184 --> 01:23:09,218
There you are, my man,
1866
01:23:09,252 --> 01:23:11,420
with those, you can eat
for a couple of months.
1867
01:23:11,454 --> 01:23:13,589
How about the socks?
1868
01:23:15,591 --> 01:23:17,760
I wouldn't worry
too much about it, Stew.
1869
01:23:17,793 --> 01:23:19,328
She'll see it your way.
1870
01:23:19,362 --> 01:23:21,130
I'm not worrying about her.
1871
01:23:21,164 --> 01:23:22,207
I'm worrying about
that second-act curtain,
1872
01:23:22,231 --> 01:23:22,998
that's all.
1873
01:23:23,032 --> 01:23:24,767
Oh, you're just
a first-class chump.
1874
01:23:24,800 --> 01:23:26,202
You just staged a scene
1875
01:23:26,235 --> 01:23:27,770
that would play
like a million dollars.
1876
01:23:27,803 --> 01:23:29,214
How about that
declaration of independence
1877
01:23:29,238 --> 01:23:30,339
for the second-act curtain?
1878
01:23:30,373 --> 01:23:32,708
That's an idea.
It's a great idea.
1879
01:23:42,818 --> 01:23:44,187
Hey, Gallagher?
1880
01:23:44,220 --> 01:23:46,722
Gallagher?
1881
01:23:46,755 --> 01:23:48,491
Yeah?
How about my breakfast?
1882
01:23:48,524 --> 01:23:50,559
How do you expect me
to bring a curtain down
1883
01:23:50,593 --> 01:23:51,594
on an empty stomach?
1884
01:23:51,627 --> 01:23:53,229
It'll be ready in a minute.
1885
01:23:53,262 --> 01:23:54,606
If you can't get
my breakfast ready,
1886
01:23:54,630 --> 01:23:55,764
can't get here on time,
1887
01:23:55,798 --> 01:23:57,400
then you can go get yourself
another job.
1888
01:23:57,433 --> 01:23:58,701
Sorry, boss.
1889
01:23:58,734 --> 01:24:00,734
Don't be sorry, just get
the breakfast, that's all.
1890
01:24:15,518 --> 01:24:17,353
Hello, Smith.
1891
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:19,455
Holy jumping swordfish.
1892
01:24:19,488 --> 01:24:21,424
I suppose you know why I came?
1893
01:24:21,457 --> 01:24:23,459
No. I have no idea,
1894
01:24:23,492 --> 01:24:25,094
unless some of
the silverware's missing.
1895
01:24:25,128 --> 01:24:27,430
No. Don't be absurd, Smith.
1896
01:24:27,463 --> 01:24:28,697
May I come in?
1897
01:24:30,233 --> 01:24:31,400
Surely. Come right in.
1898
01:24:31,434 --> 01:24:33,636
Thanks.
1899
01:24:41,277 --> 01:24:43,246
May I sit down?
1900
01:24:43,279 --> 01:24:44,247
Surely. Sit down.
1901
01:24:44,280 --> 01:24:45,448
If I'd known you were coming,
1902
01:24:45,481 --> 01:24:47,183
I'd have thrown you up a waffle.
1903
01:24:47,216 --> 01:24:48,684
I don't eat waffles.
You don't?
1904
01:24:48,717 --> 01:24:50,253
Anne asked me
1905
01:24:50,286 --> 01:24:52,121
to come see you
about the divorce.
1906
01:24:52,155 --> 01:24:53,156
She did?
1907
01:24:53,189 --> 01:24:56,225
She wants me to arrange
the financial settlement.
1908
01:24:56,259 --> 01:24:57,626
Listen, Grayson,
1909
01:24:57,660 --> 01:24:59,228
I've got $106.75 in the bank.
1910
01:24:59,262 --> 01:25:02,131
Now, Anne can have any part
of that she wants,
1911
01:25:02,165 --> 01:25:03,666
but she'd better hurry,
1912
01:25:03,699 --> 01:25:05,134
because I'm spending
it awful fast.
1913
01:25:05,168 --> 01:25:05,968
You don't seem to understand.
1914
01:25:06,001 --> 01:25:07,703
Anne doesn't expect
anything from you.
1915
01:25:07,736 --> 01:25:10,539
We would like to know
how much you would want--
1916
01:25:10,573 --> 01:25:12,275
Wait a minute.
1917
01:25:12,308 --> 01:25:13,509
Do I get from you
1918
01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:15,411
that she wants
to pay me alimony?
1919
01:25:15,444 --> 01:25:16,379
That's putting it crudely, but--
1920
01:25:16,412 --> 01:25:18,414
Remember what I told you
about that 20th crack?
1921
01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:19,748
Perfectly.
You've just made it.
1922
01:25:19,782 --> 01:25:20,683
Before you go unconscious,
1923
01:25:20,716 --> 01:25:22,751
I want you to get this
through your nut.
1924
01:25:22,785 --> 01:25:24,220
I beg your pardon? Unconscious.
1925
01:25:24,253 --> 01:25:25,697
You know, when you
don't know anything,
1926
01:25:25,721 --> 01:25:27,323
your natural state.
1927
01:25:27,356 --> 01:25:29,368
There are some people you
can't buy their self-respect.
1928
01:25:29,392 --> 01:25:31,260
I happen to be one.
We just thought that--
1929
01:25:31,294 --> 01:25:32,828
Don't think.
Let me do the thinking.
1930
01:25:32,861 --> 01:25:33,972
Now, go back to
that Schuyler outfit
1931
01:25:33,996 --> 01:25:36,432
and tell her I didn't marry
that dame for her dough,
1932
01:25:36,465 --> 01:25:38,267
and I don't want
any of her dough now.
1933
01:25:38,301 --> 01:25:40,269
I was too poor to buy her
a wedding present,
1934
01:25:40,303 --> 01:25:42,271
so I'll give her a divorce
for a wedding present.
1935
01:25:42,305 --> 01:25:43,372
Now stand up.
1936
01:25:43,406 --> 01:25:45,241
And now for that 20th crack.
1937
01:26:17,940 --> 01:26:19,375
Now, get.
1938
01:26:26,349 --> 01:26:29,352
Who was that?
1939
01:26:29,385 --> 01:26:31,620
The Schuyler lawyer.
1940
01:26:31,654 --> 01:26:33,789
What did he want?
1941
01:26:37,726 --> 01:26:39,695
Gallagher, that guy
just dropped by
1942
01:26:39,728 --> 01:26:41,830
to give us the opening
for the third act.
1943
01:26:41,864 --> 01:26:43,632
What was the idea he gave you?
1944
01:26:43,666 --> 01:26:44,933
Mmm.
1945
01:26:44,967 --> 01:26:46,702
Swell idea, Gallagher.
How's this?
1946
01:26:46,735 --> 01:26:48,804
The family lawyer
comes to see the kid
1947
01:26:48,837 --> 01:26:50,739
to talk over the divorce,
you know?
1948
01:26:50,773 --> 01:26:52,975
Then they insult
the poor but honest boy
1949
01:26:53,008 --> 01:26:54,810
by offering him alimony.
1950
01:26:54,843 --> 01:26:55,911
So the kid gets sore,
1951
01:26:55,944 --> 01:26:58,314
socks the lawyer in the nose,
and throws him out.
1952
01:26:58,347 --> 01:26:59,848
How's that for
1953
01:26:59,882 --> 01:27:01,384
the beginning of the third act?
1954
01:27:01,417 --> 01:27:03,752
Well, from now on,
the play will be easy.
1955
01:27:03,786 --> 01:27:05,921
All you have to do
is bring the wife back,
1956
01:27:05,954 --> 01:27:07,590
have her say she's sorry,
1957
01:27:07,623 --> 01:27:08,491
and then your play's over.
1958
01:27:08,524 --> 01:27:10,493
Do you think I'm going
to let that guy
1959
01:27:10,526 --> 01:27:12,428
go back to his wife?
1960
01:27:12,461 --> 01:27:14,330
Not on your life.
1961
01:27:14,363 --> 01:27:15,764
He's got to go to the other gal.
1962
01:27:15,798 --> 01:27:18,401
What other girl?
1963
01:27:18,434 --> 01:27:20,503
Little O'Brien girl, of course.
1964
01:27:20,536 --> 01:27:23,306
The one you suggested
in the story.
1965
01:27:23,339 --> 01:27:24,640
But that's ridiculous, Stew.
1966
01:27:24,673 --> 01:27:26,509
You can't make
a sudden change like that.
1967
01:27:26,542 --> 01:27:27,919
Gallagher, what are
you going to do?
1968
01:27:27,943 --> 01:27:29,020
Tell me how to write a play?
1969
01:27:29,044 --> 01:27:30,446
No.
Nothing sudden about that.
1970
01:27:30,479 --> 01:27:32,515
He's always loved the girl,
1971
01:27:32,548 --> 01:27:34,283
but he was such a sap,
1972
01:27:34,317 --> 01:27:37,553
he didn't have
sense enough to tell her.
1973
01:27:37,586 --> 01:27:39,322
That's all right.
We can fix that.
1974
01:27:39,355 --> 01:27:40,523
He'll go to the gal and--
1975
01:27:40,556 --> 01:27:41,390
Here, I'll show you.
1976
01:27:41,424 --> 01:27:42,858
He'll go to the
little O'Brien gal,
1977
01:27:42,891 --> 01:27:44,927
and he'll say,
1978
01:27:44,960 --> 01:27:46,929
in some pretty words
of some kind, he'll say--
1979
01:27:46,962 --> 01:27:48,597
Something you can write,
1980
01:27:48,631 --> 01:27:52,034
he'll say, "Darling, I'm sorry.
1981
01:27:52,067 --> 01:27:53,936
"I've been a fool all my life.
1982
01:27:53,969 --> 01:27:54,937
"I've always loved you,
1983
01:27:54,970 --> 01:27:56,939
"only I didn't have
sense enough to see it.
1984
01:27:56,972 --> 01:27:59,442
"As quick as I get
a divorce from my wife,
1985
01:27:59,475 --> 01:28:01,844
I want you to marry me."
1986
01:28:01,877 --> 01:28:02,845
She'll look at him,
1987
01:28:02,878 --> 01:28:04,012
and then she'll say,
1988
01:28:04,046 --> 01:28:05,481
"Yeah."
1989
01:28:05,514 --> 01:28:08,684
And they'll...
they'll embrace...
1990
01:28:08,717 --> 01:28:12,321
or something like that.
1991
01:28:12,355 --> 01:28:14,857
Then he'll kiss her
or something.
1992
01:28:28,737 --> 01:28:31,006
What's the matter,
Gallagher, hm?
1993
01:28:31,039 --> 01:28:32,875
What's the matter?
131859
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