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1
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HE SIGHS
2
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Yeah... Ah-ha.
3
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,840
Hmm, as I thought.
4
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:22,920
It's pretty bad. What do we do now?
5
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,560
Now he counts to 100 and WE hide.
6
00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,360
He's not hiding, you cretin, he's dead!
7
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,120
We've killed Imperatrix's closest advisor.
8
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:35,280
Well, you say we but...
Let's not get into semantics, Neil.
9
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,160
Point is, unless we can find
a way of getting a dead guy
10
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,800
to report in to Her Eminence,
she will start to get suspicious.
11
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,960
Shortly after that,
we will start to get executed.
12
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,160
HE GROANS
13
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,320
THEY SCREAM
14
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,400
He's alive, my love!
15
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,120
Yes! This is... My lord.
16
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:54,400
Yes! This is perfect!
17
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:57,080
Now we just concoct a story
about a terrible accident,
18
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,400
nurse him back to health
and we'll all be off the...
19
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,640
BANG
20
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:04,160
Now he's dead! What were we talking about?
21
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,440
HE SIGHS
22
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,760
'Far, far ago,
the ancients wrote upon the scrolls
23
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,160
'that dark forces would sweep our realm,
24
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,800
'until only Yonderland remained.
25
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,520
'But they told also of a saviour,
come from a distant world,
26
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:25,440
'to save us from the shadows,
and all that jazz.'
27
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:31,080
Ow! Argh!
28
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,240
You have failed me for the last time!
29
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,360
Please! I can keep failing you!
Too late for that. Now go!
30
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HE SIGHS Don't come back
31
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,720
until you have redeemed yourself.
32
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CREAKING
33
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,600
HE LAUGHS
34
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,200
Oh!
When you do that, do the little people die?
35
00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,120
No. They just take a break.
They'll be back when you fix that.
36
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,920
But it's difficult.
I need to see that message.
37
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,280
Need to know who it's from,
what it is I'm supposed...not to do.
38
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,880
Ah!
39
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,000
And lay off the custard creams, -yeah?
-I only had one!
40
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:15,080
It's not my fault! They come in a
double pack, you can't reseal it!
41
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,840
BUZZING
42
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,360
I'll tell you what, if you fix that,
43
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,120
there's a pack of these in it for you.
44
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,760
Oh! It's hard but soft!
45
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,800
What fresh madness is this?
46
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,840
Debbie, come quickly.
There's an urgent issue that needs your...
47
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,000
Oh, what is it now? War? Plague? Famine?
48
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,240
Industrial dispute.
49
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,000
Is it me or is my remit getting wider?
50
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,240
It's so tangy!
51
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,160
Ooh. Can I have one of those? No.
52
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,800
You're allergic? What?
Where'd you get that from?
53
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:44,920
Come on.
54
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,360
HE SNORES
55
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,280
There. Home sweet home.
56
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,400
The finest nest this side of...
57
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,480
BIRD TWEETS
58
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:00,680
Oh. BUZZING
59
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,680
I told you you were allergic.
60
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:06,960
HE SNIFFS
61
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,200
I stand corrected.
62
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,120
But I think my throat's closing over -a little less this time.
-Let me see.
63
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:17,040
Oh, come on. Let's swap. Please?
64
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,160
BIRD TWEETS
65
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,920
Oh, good lad! Yeah, just try it.
66
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:22,760
You will not regret this.
67
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,320
CREAKING Arghhh!
68
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,480
What was that?
69
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:30,560
BIRD TWEETS
70
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,600
Ah, look! Ah, just a bird.
71
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:34,800
THUD
72
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,400
Ha-ha-ha!
73
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,720
One nil to wood.
74
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,000
Right, come on. I think I need my injection.
75
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,040
HE SNORTS
76
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,240
Aaarrggh! BANG
77
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,640
-Oh! Eh?
-Perfect! A little helper!
78
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,720
How are you at holding stuff?
79
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:59,080
It's on my CV but then
again so's computer skills
80
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,120
and I've no idea what that means.
81
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,680
Good enough. Come, hold that lever.
82
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:05,480
All right. What are we doing?
83
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,280
It's a long story, my cherry-skinned chum.
84
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,880
That's OK. I've got nowhere to go.
85
00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:17,760
So, as you can see,
it really is a most vexing issue.
86
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,640
Seriously? Cushions?
87
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,000
Mmm.
88
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,800
These aren't just any cushions, Deb-beh.
89
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,640
Debbie. Nah.
90
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:31,840
The Luxi Bum 500 is a quantum
leap in posterial padding,
91
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:36,000
benefitting from a micropowder...
Are you just reading from the label?
92
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,800
-Nah.
-Look, if you've already got cushions, why do you need new ones?
93
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:44,000
Cos these are the 500 series
but the 501s have just come out.
94
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,720
They're up to 7% more comfy,
which for me is vitally important.
95
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,160
Put pants on. But they're so scratchy.
96
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,640
The point is,
with the strike closing down the factory,
97
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,280
no 501s are being produced
98
00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,120
and none of our bottoms
are getting any comfier.
99
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,800
Or drier.
100
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,960
I had an accident.
101
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,160
Besides, this is exactly the sort of
disharmony that Imperatrix will seize upon.
102
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,680
All the oppression and division...
-I'll see what I can do. -Thank you. Good.
103
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,800
What did you lot do when stuff like
this happened before I came along?
104
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:18,400
Just turned it over.
105
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,840
SHE SIGHS
106
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,560
Up the workers. Up the workers.
107
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,040
Up the workers.
108
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,080
Thank you for approaching this picket fence
109
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,760
for all your industrial disputing needs.
110
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,520
Would you like to cross this line?
111
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,560
Well, I'd like to go in, yeah.
112
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,200
Thank you. Enjoy your working day.
113
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,560
Scab. Scab. Scab. Scab.
114
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:42,800
Lefties!
115
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,480
Oh, my God!
116
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,400
The Chosen One!
117
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,400
And Elf might be nice.
118
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,800
Every now and then.
119
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:06,560
- Negatus is lazy, utterly
disorganised and generally incompetent,
120
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,920
conducting his operation
in a very slap-dash fashion
121
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,920
typical of a man with no idea
how to run an efficient command.
122
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,760
His IQ score is off the bottom of my chart
123
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,840
and I am unable to ignore
his bad personal hygiene,
124
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,520
having caught him using a
dishcloth to clean his...
125
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,040
All right, all right,
we all know what he said.
126
00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,280
That's why I called you, isn't it?
127
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:32,640
Her Eminence wants a report from Anous,
but with him de...ciding to
128
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,640
go on holiday,
that Dictaphone tape is all I have.
129
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,840
In its current form,
it'll go down like a red balloon.
130
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,480
Well, should be pretty squeezy to
fix up the mix-up. No big whoop.
131
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,880
Sample the wave forms,
modulate the frequency...
132
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,720
Jargonator!
133
00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,520
Layman's terms - out go the bad words,
in go some good ones,
134
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,760
and you've got yourself a glowing report.
135
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,800
Check it!
136
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,240
Negatus is. Excellent.
137
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,720
Utterly. Excellent.
138
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,120
And generally. Excellent.
139
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,920
Conducting his operation in a. Excellent.
Fashion.
140
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,720
And job's a good 'un. Thoughts?
141
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,040
Us Fettlers were known
for our cottage industry.
142
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,240
But then demand for cottages just dried up.
143
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,520
That's when smart ones came along.
144
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:21,880
Built us factory, said they'd pay
us to make life's little essentials.
145
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,520
It sounded too good to be true.
146
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,440
But it wasn't. No, it was.
147
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,680
Hours were doubled, wages were halved.
We were so tired.
148
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,880
Which is fine if you're
on cushion production
149
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,320
but it's a recipe for disaster
if you're making filing spikes.
150
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:40,120
Ain't that right, Graham? Aye.
151
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,320
Well, try talking to them.
-Have a round table. -We have.
152
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,720
We even built one. They never came.
153
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,160
They think we'll give up
once we get hungry enough.
154
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,520
It's like Thatcher all over again.
155
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,840
He used to do roofs on the cottages,
it's a long story.
156
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,680
Well, they're sure as hell going
to talk to me. Come on, Elf.
157
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,800
Yeah. I'm not going anywhere.
158
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,520
Seriously. These things are amazing.
159
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,480
Like being hugged by a cloud!
160
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,360
< INDISTINCT VOICE
161
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,920
What's going on?
Hard to hear but she is not happy.
162
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,640
Only an idiot would go in there.
Ah! Good idea.
163
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,240
Geoff, why don't you...?
164
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:19,920
Oh... I guess he did have his uses.
Yeah. I miss his back rubs.
165
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,920
Er... Well, I could always...
-No. -No.
166
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,840
I will not ask again. Where is Anous?
167
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,000
According to this postcard,
168
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:33,200
he is enjoying an impromptu holiday
on the beautiful island of Fernan...
169
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,600
Negatus!
170
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:40,480
Erm... By which I mean he's, erm...
What's that?
171
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,680
Oh, apparently he's been
on the lav the whole time.
172
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,720
I'll get him to give you
a call once he's er...
173
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,040
Oh, Gods!
174
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,680
Who'd have thought killing someone
could get you into so much trouble?
175
00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,000
I mean, isn't that just absolutely...
176
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,480
'Typical.
177
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,040
'Idea. Idea.
178
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,920
'Very. Bad. Idea.'
179
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,200
Oh, I'm a genius!
180
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,240
BELL
181
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,560
Debberola!
182
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,560
Nice of you to swing by.
183
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,160
Ninnies? Dave?
184
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,640
Little drop of bubbles?
185
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,320
Team Ninny, look what the cat dragged in.
186
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,000
Debster! Debatron!
187
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,720
The Deb... The Deb...
188
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,520
The Debra... The Deb... No.
189
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,640
Thank you so much for this opportunity.
190
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,520
Taxi!
191
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:01,240
What is going on around here?
You lot were proper wallies.
192
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,880
Not any more, Debs. What's actually
happened is since the Sun God told us
193
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,640
to open the Hall of Wisdom and stop
firing all our Clevers into the sun,
194
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,960
we've been on the up and up!
195
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,240
Buy! Sell! Buy! Sell!
196
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,120
Keep buying cells!
There's a lot of money in prisons, mate.
197
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,840
Oh, hang on, going into a tunnel.
No, you're breaking up, Jamie!
198
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,040
Legend.
199
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,720
Productivity's up, stupidity's down.
200
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,440
And with knowledge at our fingertips,
201
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,040
nothing gets past us now.
Isn't that right, darling?
202
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,120
So that sweatshop, you own that?
203
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,240
Sweatshop?
I think you mean order fulfilment hub.
204
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,760
It's a sweatshop.
Why do you think they're on strike?
205
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,520
We don't actually know at this
time but what I would say to you
206
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,760
is that we don't get
involved in the nitty-gritty.
207
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,680
Management's the fuel, not the engine.
208
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:44,960
I learnt that from this book.
209
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,800
"Management's the Fuel, Not the Engine."
210
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,360
So you've never actually been
there and seen what you've done?
211
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,560
Site visits are for dummies.
I learnt that from this book.
212
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,160
That's telling you to DO site visits.
213
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,520
Is it? I only read the cover.
214
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,440
You're coming with me, right now.
215
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,000
What? No! It's cocktail hour!
216
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,560
Bye, Ledge. Ciao!
217
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,240
Oh, no, no, he's still too floppy!
218
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:12,120
We are trying, oh, darkest of colour charts!
219
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,840
You can't just bring something
to life using only your hands.
220
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,760
Of course, if there were three of us...
221
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,200
Yes, well,
sadly Demon Geoffrey is no longer with us
222
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,640
and I've no idea where he
is or how to get hold of...
223
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,320
Hang on a minute.
224
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,320
Remember when I used him as
bait in that kidnapping sting?
225
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,200
I had him chipped!
226
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,280
Yes!
227
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,920
HE MUTTERS
228
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,600
BEEPING
229
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,880
'Geoffrey!' Dad?
230
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,360
'No, it's me, you cretin!'
231
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:52,120
I mean, it's Negatus here, -my faithful friend.
-Argh!
232
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,200
Look, I need you back at base, pronto.
233
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,280
Maybe I don't want to come back.
234
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,320
Maybe I'm happy here with
the funny little box man.
235
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,520
Geoffrey,
have you been eating those flowers again?
236
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:05,760
No. I'm in Debbie's kitchen
helping the little man from the box
237
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:10,800
fix the broke thing so the weird guy
on the screen can tell her her fate.
238
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,400
Look, I don't care. Just come... Wait.
239
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:15,840
Debbie's fate?
240
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,320
Right, new plan!
You stay there and report back.
241
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,800
'I think you'll find I don't
work for you any more.'
242
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,520
Why, you little... Argh!
243
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:30,080
All right, all right. What if I were
to give you the keys to a brand-new...?
244
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,160
Keys?! Oh, I love keys!
245
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,640
I like looking at keys and playing
with keys and... All right, I'm in!
246
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,600
Good lad, Geoff.
So I want you to report back to me
247
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,520
'anything this weird
guy on the screen says.'
248
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,360
You got it? 'Got it.'
249
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,560
So...you don't want me back there?
250
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,720
No. You stay put. We'll er...
251
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,400
-Oh!
-Argh!
252
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,200
..manage.
253
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,440
Up the workers. Up the workers.
254
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,040
Scab. Scab. Scab.
255
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,360
Where did you get the egg?
256
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,240
Honestly? From the bum of a bird.
257
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,360
Gods, I had no idea.
258
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:19,240
You just wanted twice as much in half
the time. Look what we've become, eh?
259
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,320
Look at his hand!
260
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,720
Soz, yeah?
We thought we were improving things.
261
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:28,840
But I guess we were just creating
a society of haves and not-haves.
262
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,120
Have-nots.
263
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,680
It doesn't matter.
The point is, how are you going to fix this?
264
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:39,200
Well, you fine Fettlers have put
up with this for far too long
265
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,960
and I'm going to do something about it!
266
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,200
Yeah!
267
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,040
I'm going to go back to Ninny Wharf
268
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,240
and I'm going to tell the
Clevers the system is broken!
269
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,560
Yes!
270
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,800
I'm going to close the Hall of
Wisdom and fire myself into the sun!
271
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,000
ALL CHEER
272
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,920
No, no, wait, Dave, that's not what I meant!
Come...
273
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:00,640
DOOR SHUTS Oh, God!
274
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:03,480
She really needs to chillax.
275
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,920
Hoo-ha! Hoo-ha! Hoo-ha!
276
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,080
Dave! Dave!
277
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,560
Goodbye, Debbie, thanks for everything.
278
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,800
I've locked the temple doors.
Great, give me the key.
279
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,400
No, wait! Stop!
I think this has happened before.
280
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,840
Yeah, you were here.
281
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,360
No, not this bit, the whole thing.
It's a cycle.
282
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,960
You close the library,
you fire all the smart people into the sun,
283
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,520
which just leaves idiots.
284
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,680
So you open the library,
get smart, it corrupts you.
285
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,200
So you close the library and this could
have been happening for quillennia!
286
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,400
Oh, God, I've started saying quillennia.
287
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,640
Maybe you're right,
but you saw what we did to those Fettlers.
288
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,440
We've become monsters.
I have to do something!
289
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,080
Malcolm, you know what to do!
290
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,520
No, wait, stop!
291
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,200
What if there was a third way?
292
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:53,720
Yes, he's out of the lav now, Your Eminence.
I think he had the prawns.
293
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,720
All yours, Admiral.
294
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,680
Admiral Anous, finally we...
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
295
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,280
Fashion.
296
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,600
I see.
297
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,000
So what is your assessment
of Negatus's operation?
298
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,920
Good.
299
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,000
Could you elaborate?
300
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,880
Very. Good.
301
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:16,000
I want details!
How does he manage his outpost?
302
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,240
Generally. Very. Good. Fashion.
303
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:22,960
Very. Efficient. Operation. Good. Command.
304
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,320
Personal hygiene. Very. Good. Hygiene.
305
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,960
Well, that is most reassuring to hear.
306
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,800
WHIRRING Argh!
307
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,320
Anous?
308
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,280
I. Am. Single.
309
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,280
I fail to see the relevance.
310
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,880
Slap. My. Bottom.
311
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,680
What?! WHIRRING
312
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,280
CRASH What is going on here?
313
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,080
Oh, dear, he seems to have suddenly
fallen ill with a severe eye infection
314
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,880
rendering him incapable of speaking,
hearing or even moving.
315
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,920
Don't lie to me!
I will investigate this outrage in person!
316
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,400
Oh, God. I'm a dead man!
317
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:06,520
Yeah, erm, speaking of dead men,
there's one very much on me!
318
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,840
And the profits?
-Will be shared.Equally. -Hm.
319
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,400
I never want to leave. I know.
320
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,280
Seriously,
what do you stuff these things with?
321
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,120
-You don't want to know, mate.
-Eh? Oh!
322
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:40,880
Uh... Uh... Argh! Shall we go?
323
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,600
Well, it didn't always work
out so well in my world,
324
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,680
but it just shows, if there's a genuine
will to work for the common good,
325
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,920
no-one needs to be exploited.
326
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,840
HE SOBS
327
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,640
More stickers! MORE STICKERS!
328
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,040
Mu-hu-ha-ha-ha-ha!
329
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,920
And lastly but not leastly...
330
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,040
Oh, that is the opposite of scratchy.
331
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,880
Gentlemen... Hang on, hang on,
there's something in the packaging.
332
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:25,440
"The Ninny-Fettler Collective are delighted
to announce the forthcoming release of...
333
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,480
"..Luxi Bum 600?!" I mean...
334
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,720
ALL GROAN For the love of Go... Oh...
335
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:34,920
It's happened again.
336
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,800
Oh, we're back!
337
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,680
- If you're watching this message,
then despite my best efforts...
338
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,480
And, hello, weird guy! Weird guy? Oh!
339
00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:49,880
The weird guy!
340
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,760
You're coming with me, mate! Hey!
341
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,720
HE LAUGHS
342
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,720
Demons! What the hell is he doing here?
343
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,000
Helping me.
344
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,640
Helping you? They're the enemy!
He didn't take the projector?
345
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,200
No. Weirdly, he took the screen.
346
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,880
- The screen? Oh...
- Must have been the dumb one.
347
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,920
Quick! Before the bulb goes!
348
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:17,040
Whatever you do,
you must never ever go to Yonderland.
349
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,400
I tell you this for your own good
as someone who cares for you.
350
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,320
For I am Nestor of Maddox.
351
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,040
Your father.
352
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,320
What?! That's it! That's who he was!
353
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,200
Ha! Got there in the end, eh?
354
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,520
What?
355
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,320
I did it, oh, darkest of crayons! Geoffrey?
356
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,320
The weird guy,
the one who knows Debbie's fate.
357
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,560
He spoke! What?!
358
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,640
And you heard what he said?
Even better! I bought him with me!
359
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,960
Ta-da!
360
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,680
Oh. Where did he go?
361
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,560
A little word if I may, Geoffrey.
362
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,400
HE GULPS
363
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,120
There were once two scrolls so sacred
364
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,280
it was forbidden to ever
sully them with eyes.
365
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,000
Never once were they read,
366
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:11,840
kept under the constant vigil of the
most honest and trustworthy Elder
367
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,360
who didn't always go straight home.
368
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,120
Sorry.
369
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,640
I've got to look after the scroll.
370
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,440
'Seeing a name I knew so well,
curiosity overwhelmed me,
371
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,240
'like slugazelles on a young lettuce.'
372
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,480
HE GROANS
373
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:38,320
'But it was the second scroll that
gave me most cause for alarm.'
374
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:41,680
For it spoke of an alliance
that could doom our realm.
375
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,320
An alliance between two twins.
376
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,840
You...and your sister.
377
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,080
Imperatrix.
378
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,040
It was too late for her.
379
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:53,240
'Your mother's evil
already welled within her.'
380
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,120
Although some of that may have been wind.
381
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,800
'But, for you, there was still hope.'
382
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:03,080
I knew that if your sister learnt of the
power she could wield with you at her side,
383
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,920
she would not rest until she found you.
384
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,320
'So I took you, and the scroll,
to a faraway place
385
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,360
'in the hope of cheating fate.
386
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,240
'Leaving you in the care
of another wise council.'
387
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,400
I severed all contact with you
388
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,080
and with Yonderland for your safety.
389
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,120
And with the heaviest of hearts.
390
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,240
But if you are watching this,
then I am gone and fate has won.
391
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,880
BABY GURGLES
392
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:35,160
'Somehow,
you are once again Debbie of Maddox.'
393
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,680
MUFFLED SPEECH
394
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:47,280
So I send you this plea
to stay out of Yonderland.
395
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:52,160
And I pass to you this second scroll
396
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:56,400
for your safekeeping, my darling girl.
397
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,520
So where is it? The second scroll?
398
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,640
I don't know. There's no scroll here.
399
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,600
There must be. He just said so.
400
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,880
I'm telling you, there's not.
401
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,640
It's just me, the projector,
and the scree...
402
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,200
Oh, no.
403
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:17,440
You could have got me off the hook,
you malformed lobster!
404
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,040
You could have saved me!
405
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,280
Instead all you brought me is...
The second scroll!
406
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,080
Say what? Oh, look!
407
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:31,080
There's some scribbles on the back -there.
-You found it!
408
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,600
Yes, well,
I put my finest spy on the mission,
409
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:41,520
whom I was now just heartily congratulating.
410
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,800
Argh!
411
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,840
Good to see you. Are those tears?
412
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,800
No! It's...manly juice! Oh!
413
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,480
Excellent work.
414
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,680
Perhaps an inspection
wasn't necessary after all.
415
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,560
Ah, yes. About Admiral Anous.
416
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,160
Forget about Anous.
Tell him to take a holiday.
417
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:07,520
Will do! Somewhere warm, perhaps?
Or on the other hand...
418
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,440
THEY LAUGH
419
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,800
Subtitles by Ericsson
420
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,320
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