Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:15,480
Oh, my God. I've definitely got flu.
-Feel my glands. -No.
2
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,440
Pete, if there was a £50 note in the garden,
would you go and get it?
3
00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,400
-Yes.
-Then you haven't got flu. -What? -That's the test for flu.
4
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,360
But it's 50 quid.
5
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,400
Don't you remember what I went through
6
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,240
to get that £2 coin I dropped down the loo?
7
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,280
OK, fine. I'll go to work.
8
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:37,960
But you're going to feel pretty
bad when they send me home dead.
9
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,480
What have I told you about coming
round here when my family are around?
10
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,920
I don't know, some words?
Look, you must come now.
11
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,920
It's to do with your fate. No time to lose.
12
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,560
Well,
can I drop the kids off at school first?
13
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,760
-Yeah. No rush.Oh.
-What?
14
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,200
Far, far ago, the ancients wrote
upon the scrolls that dark forces
15
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:03,440
would sweep our realm until
only Yonderland remained.
16
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,840
But they telled also of a saviour,
come from a distant world,
17
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,120
to save us from the shadows...and stuff.
18
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,400
Please. Negatus. Please, show mercy.
19
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,760
Negatus knows no mercy.
20
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,480
Oh, no!
21
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,600
Oh, dear!
22
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:33,600
-Oh.
-Right, already that doesn't look like it did in the brochure.
23
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,200
He's supposed to get incinerated,
not a light tan.
24
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,520
Mains pressure, most likely.
There should be a tap here somewhere.
25
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,320
I thought it was going to have,
grr, gnashy teeth?
26
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,680
Can I...?
Yes, thank you, whatever-your-name is.
27
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,240
-It's Raymond.Don't care, mate.
-Oh.
28
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:52,760
I can do you gnashy teeth, but it's -not included in the offer.
-Typical.
29
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:57,400
Oh, Stormiest Of Clouds, she's here again.
30
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,480
Sorry, who's here?
The one they call "the Chosen One".
31
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:06,440
-Perfect landing.
-So she's back? What is she doing here?
32
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,320
Er...
33
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,280
See, we get this a lot, don't we?
GO FOLLOW HER!
34
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,080
And try and get a bead
more information this time.
35
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,960
Or you'll end up like him...
36
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,960
who I'm going to kill in a horrible way
37
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,880
- once I get that working.
- Oh, right. OK.
38
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,720
-Well, go on then.
-OK.
39
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,200
So, how much for these teeth?
40
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,480
Ball park figure...
41
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,000
Whoa. You really are making a killing.
42
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,080
-Price of gas.
-Blimey.
43
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,240
As you know, Debbie, the second scroll,
44
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:47,520
which foretells the fate of our lands,
was "misplaced".
45
00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,080
Oh, how many times? I was drunk.
46
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:55,480
However, it is believed that the
ancient ones made a duplicate
47
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,000
and that this copy was placed
in the Temple of Tombs.
48
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:04,400
Now... The doors to the temple
open once every quillenia.
49
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,600
B-bu...! I was coming to that.
50
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,520
Yes, I know that, but I don't feel -the need to pipe up.
-Exactly.
51
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,320
I also know that the
doors to the temple close
52
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,960
once the sun sets o'er the mountain.
53
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,000
It won't open for another quillion years,
54
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,200
so it is vital we get
the second scroll today.
55
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,800
I thought we said I would say the -stuff.
-What is wrong with you?
56
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,320
You used to be a smashing lad.
I wanted to say some stuff.
57
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,800
No-one lets me say anything.
I have a question.
58
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,080
If you lot know where it is,
why don't you go and get it?
59
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,400
Tummy ache. Not really my vibe.
60
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,560
Because you alone must
discover the second scroll
61
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,560
and your destiny which lies therein.
62
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,440
The other lands have fallen to darkness
63
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,160
and Negatus is determined
that ours shall follow.
64
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,760
Only you can stop him.
65
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,600
OK, fine.
So who's going to come and help me?
66
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,480
Again, it's not really my vibe.
The old tennis elbow.
67
00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,200
Perhaps, if we were to cast
off these cumbersome robes...
68
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,520
Looks like it's me and you again.
69
00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,840
It's for the best. They only slow you down.
Come on.
70
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,360
So scratchy. Anyone else find them scratchy?
71
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,280
There it is,
the path to the Temple of Tombs.
72
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,520
I've got a bad feeling about this.
73
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,440
When was the last time you had
a good feeling about something?
74
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,360
Spring '48. Her name was Flora.
75
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,840
Ah, sorry. Excuse me? Queue, anyone? No?
76
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,000
It's just we camped overnight
so that we could be here first.
77
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,840
I'm a bit of a temple collector,
if you will.
78
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:39,400
Yes, John really knows his temples.
Sorry, Mary? I was talking.
79
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:43,040
Sorry, John. No, it's interesting.
80
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,080
The path to the Temple of Tombs
81
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,600
is almost as mysterious
as the temple itself.
82
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,720
No-one knows why the soft
yellow stone cobbles are in such
83
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,560
pristine condition,
which only adds to its unique allure.
84
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,560
-Shall we, team?
-Yes. Sorry, sorry. Who got us here?
85
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,000
Was it John or Mary?
You did so... John did. John did.
86
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,040
John did. Correct. Thank you.
87
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,000
HE GROWLS
88
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,360
Friend.
89
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,960
-John.
-Wait.
90
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,160
Sorry, if you could all be quiet,
I'm just trying to breathe it in.
91
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,440
Oh, Mary.
92
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,400
Kissy wissy. SMOOCHING
93
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,920
THEY GASP
94
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,640
Oh. Gone deady.
95
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,360
Ouch.
96
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,000
At last!
97
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,280
Jenny, I'm coming.
98
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,200
Yeah,
I think we're all quite relieved he's dead.
99
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,280
That's it. We're popplewhacked.
100
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,600
No we're...not.
101
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,440
We just have to find a way across.
102
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,080
And we've got until the sun sets,
so we'll just find someone
103
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,640
who can teleport us or, or...
104
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,040
Or make us invisible.
Yeah, you're right, we're popplewhacked.
105
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,640
Hang on, did you say "invisible"?
106
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,920
Gottle of geer. Gottle of geer.
107
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,480
Here, Arn. You coming for an ale?
Yeah, all right.
108
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,120
I tell you, this guy is amazing.
109
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,000
Yeah, I used to go and see him all the time.
110
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,240
The Wizard Bradley -
last of the Great Wizards. You'll love him.
111
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,880
- OK. Next up, we've got Wild Orchid.
- Ooh.
112
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,400
Yeah,
I'm not asking for three pieces of silver,
113
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,520
I'm not asking for two pieces of silver,
114
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,040
I'm asking for five pieces of silver.
115
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:26,360
Who wants a bit of that, then?
Oh, I love it. I'll take the lot.
116
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,200
All right, Carol.
117
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,720
But you work for me, don't you.
-Yeah. -You're the stooge.
118
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,760
-Yeah.
-Yeah? Yeah. Go on. Yes, lady?
119
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,960
We're looking for the Great Wizard Bradley.
120
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,960
THEY LAUGH He's over there, love.
121
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,920
Anyone else interested?
122
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,120
No, but you... OK.
Does anyone here not work for me?
123
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,720
Ladies and gentlemen.
124
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,480
Behold, the power of flight.
125
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,640
CRASH
126
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,360
The power of rubbish, more like. Zing.
127
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:59,680
HE SPLUTTERS Behold,
the power of invisabolity.
128
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,320
Ooh. Hee-hee.
129
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,840
Ah. Can you see me?
130
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:08,240
The power of stupidity, more like.
THEY LAUGH
131
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,440
You're owned.
You're bad at this, aren't you?
132
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:14,600
Do you want some?
-Cos I'll give it you. -Bring it.
133
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:16,320
And don't miss my next performance,
134
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,920
when I will be showcasing my rain spell.
135
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,640
Weather permitting.
Give up and go home, mate.
136
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,160
He's gone a bit downhill.
137
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,600
But he really could do those things,
back in the day.
138
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,240
Well,
you'd better hope we can jog his memory.
139
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,720
Ah, the flames are still too low.
They should be...
140
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:38,840
HE HISSES "ARGH. My face is burning."
141
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:43,080
Yeah, it's just the health and
safety issues around flame height.
142
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:46,920
Can't we just...
Your Darkededness, we have news.
143
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,680
Thingy is helping What's-her-face.
144
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,760
Debbie of the Maddox has enlisted
the help of the Wizard Bradley.
145
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,600
Yeah, what he said. Bradley is powerless.
146
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,640
I dealt with him years ago.
147
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,160
To what end is she enlisting his help?
148
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,960
THEY HESITATE Oh, for heaven's sake.
149
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,840
Right, new rule, K?
150
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,960
Next time you get some new information,
151
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:14,320
one of you report back to me and
the others stay and follow her.
152
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,880
Why do you always have
to hang around together
153
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,760
like a bunch of sissies?
-Oi. -Thank you.
154
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,040
Now go. Out of my face.
155
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,560
Well, I can do you a safety fence but,
erm...
156
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,880
Do I look like a safety fence kind of guy?
157
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,320
Hello?
158
00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,160
Why, hello to you and you.
159
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,200
A lady? One minute.
160
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,000
No swearing. Oh.
161
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,960
So, how can I help you this fine day?
162
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,880
I have pills and potions
for every ill and malady.
163
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,800
Even beauty ointments -
not that you'd be needing those.
164
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,160
What about invisibility? No problem.
165
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,040
I can do that for you
right now for a small fee,
166
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,800
though I must insist that
you remain within these walls
167
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,000
and close your eyes.
168
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:22,880
We need you to help us get over the
Golden Path to the Temple of Tombs.
169
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,960
I'm so sorry. It's actually early
closing on Wednesday, so, er...
170
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,480
You won't help us?
171
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,080
It's just I said I'd pick my
sister up from the swimming pools.
172
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,520
But we really need you. Look.
I said no. What is this?
173
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,760
Did you come here to mock me?
174
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,560
Have you got nothing better to
do than to torment an old man?
175
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,600
No, Wizard. I'm one of your biggest fans.
176
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,000
Fans? I don't have fans anymore.
177
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,120
Those days are long gone, little girl.
178
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:49,000
Once upon a time I could help you,
but not now.
179
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:52,120
What happened? I lost my Mojo.
180
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:56,880
-Fair enough. Let's go.
-What? Well, he's lost his mojo. Come on.
181
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,160
You're not going to find it
at the bottom of a bottle.
182
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,520
That's exactly where you'll find him.
183
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,800
No, you wo-...
184
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,200
Hang on. Him?
185
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,520
Water into ale.
186
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:12,360
I'll turn your water into ale. HE HICCOUGHS
187
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:17,880
I've told you before, no dogs,
no children and no Mojos.
188
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,680
Now, go on, get out of it.
189
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,720
Ah, nuts.
190
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:36,480
Yeah, I was Wizard Bradley's Mojo.
But he took me for granted.
191
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,840
Just because I'm small
doesn't mean he can treat me
192
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,280
like a second class citizen.
193
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,760
I admit, he supplied the personality.
194
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,200
Apparently I lack slightly
in the charisma department.
195
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,560
I know!
196
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,960
But I supplied the magic.
197
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,360
Could you make someone invisible?
No. Not on my own.
198
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,920
There's certain magic that won't
work without that chemistry.
199
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,160
Listen, I need your help.
I want you to work with the wizard and...
200
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,800
Never. I'll never go back.
I can survive on my own.
201
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,760
I was like a slave to him
until someone opened my eyes.
202
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:15,360
DISCO MUSIC PLAYS
203
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,760
It was back in the day, we were riding high
204
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,600
when this big shadowy fella came to see me.
205
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,120
Said he was a theatre producer,
made me see the light.
206
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,080
Why should Bradley get the dressing room,
the nice biscuits,
207
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,920
all the...attention?
208
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,680
It actually looks like a wand. THEY LAUGH
209
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,280
I never saw that producer again,
funnily enough.
210
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,280
But I got the point.
211
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,360
It was MY name that should be up in lights.
212
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,760
Well, you got your name up in...erm...chalk.
213
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,880
-Are you skitting me?
-No.
214
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,720
Oi. I've warned you.
Marty. Fetch the snakes.
215
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,080
-Go on.No.
-Get out of it. Go on. No. Now look what you've done.
216
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,240
Oh, just leave me alone.
217
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,840
Make a hole. Move your cankles.
218
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,080
Nice one. Now what are we going to do?
219
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,520
Votes for giving up? Never say never.
220
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:06,200
She just said it twice.
Yeah. She's losing it.
221
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:19,440
-Maddox.
-Certainly, sir.
222
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,440
Your table, sir.
223
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,760
-Oh, thank you.
-You're welcome.
224
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,760
This way, sir. GRUNTING
225
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,880
CLATTERING Dear me.
Anyway, what was I saying?
226
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,400
-You?
-You?
227
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,320
I'm supposed to be meeting Debbie of Maddox.
228
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,600
I got a message to meet
a top theatre producer.
229
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,240
Still trying to make it on your own, eh?
230
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:55,120
Still trying to get the GROUPIES?
RESTAURANT FALLS SILENT
231
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,800
To be honest, I just fancied a free meal.
232
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,880
Things not great for you either?
233
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,440
Not brilliant, no. You? Been better.
234
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,880
Gentlemen, the meal is on the house.
235
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,160
Oh. In which case I'll
have the crystal fish.
236
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,520
Make it two. Very well, sir.
237
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,400
TWO CRYSTAL FISH.
238
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,320
Who's paying for all this?
239
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,160
Do you think the Elders
have ever heard of expenses?
240
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,200
THEY GASP
241
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,280
Another bottle of the silk wine.
Of course, sir.
242
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,840
-BOTTLE OF BLACK NUN.
-And do you remember the tour of the Hotlands?
243
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,880
Remember it? It was us that made it hot.
244
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,320
See. Never say never.
245
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:42,320
You know you're -saying it, right?
-Shh.
246
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,120
Well,
I won't have any of that in MY dressing room.
247
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,560
YOUR dressing room?
What's wrong with sharing mine?
248
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,960
Your toenail clippings, for starters.
249
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:54,720
And you think I enjoy your cigar -smoke?
-Oh. Here we go again.
250
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,920
I never should have doubted you, Debbie.
251
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,400
What should I expect from the Chosen -One?
-Well, you found the wizard.
252
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,720
Yes, but this whole meal thing was your idea.
Genius.
253
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:08,360
Well, I suppose... Oh, no.
Come on. Feel the fury.
254
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,160
STOP.
255
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,560
It's him. He's impossible.
He's an egomaniac.
256
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,440
I'M an egomaniac?
-I know you are, but what am I? -Eugh.
257
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,040
Anyway, I've got to go.
I've got a show to perform.
258
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,800
Call that a show? You're a laughing stock.
259
00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,720
Get back to your gutter tinkering, hairball.
260
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,440
So sorry, Debbie, my child.
261
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,560
-Well, go after him.
-Why should I?
262
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,720
Because you're the calm, level-headed -one.
-Yeah, I know I'm handsome,
263
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,680
but he only ever hears
what he wants to hear.
264
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:38,320
But you two need each other.
And he misses you, Mojo.
265
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,320
He told us so.
I don't remember him saying...
266
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,360
-Really?
-Yes. And maybe you took him for granted, too.
267
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,360
But just take five minutes
268
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,640
to think about what he's
done for you over the years.
269
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,040
Just take five minutes.
270
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,840
I don't need five minutes.
271
00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,240
I don't need five seconds.
272
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,240
Get out the way.
Honestly, they're like my kids.
273
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,360
Not to look at, I hope. MOBILE PHONE BEEPS
274
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,040
I get signal in here?
I can't even get one in Lidl.
275
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,960
Oh, no.
276
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,600
Debbie. Where are you going? Debbie?
277
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,360
'Just take five minutes.'
278
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,880
'And huge thanks to my tiny assistant,
Mojo.'
279
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,600
'So I'm thrilled to be Mojo's
best man for a third time.'
280
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,880
'I don't think I belong in this montage.
281
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,440
'There's been a mistake.'
282
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,960
'You posted bail?'
283
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,840
'Of course I did. What are friends for?
284
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,000
'Friends for... Friends for...'
285
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:57,480
Debbie, please!
What about the scroll? Your fate?
286
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,040
Look, if fate meant me to be here now,
it wouldn't have made Pete ill.
287
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,720
Don't be silly,
fate doesn't make you ill - Ogre's Milk does.
288
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,800
LAUGHTER You've got no act! Got no skills.
289
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,760
Behold, I shall now fly.
290
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,400
You're going to DIE, more like.
291
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,760
ALL LAUGH AND SCOFF
292
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,200
ALL GASP
293
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,520
You came back?
294
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,960
Yeah. I'm sorry. We're better together.
Like Lemon and McCarthy.
295
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,520
The famous drag act.
296
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,320
Hey, I'm sorry too.
297
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:37,000
Right, then,
let's show these fools what we're made of!
298
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,000
NECK CLICKS
299
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,960
Look, I want to find this scroll, as well.
You don't think I want to know
300
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,240
why there's another world
in my kitchen cupboard?
301
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,560
Believe me, I'm curious.
302
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,760
But Pete's not well and I need to be there.
303
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,560
-Open the portal.
-But...
304
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:50,760
Please.
305
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,880
All right.
306
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,520
Oh, thank you very much, just nodded off.
307
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,560
Wait, wait, Debbie, look!
308
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,600
Now we can get the scroll. Close the portal.
309
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,960
We've got a few more minutes. Pete'll live.
310
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,400
I've got a date with a wizard!
Strange sentence.
311
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,120
ALL GASP
312
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,760
Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.
313
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,240
Right then, Debbie, let's get your dog!
314
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,600
Oh, no, it was a scroll.
315
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,920
Oh, yes. Sorry - bit drunk.
316
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,400
Hup! Come on, then.
317
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,400
BODY BLOW Ohhh...!
318
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,760
Zing that!
319
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,040
"Owned!" HE CHUCKLES
320
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,920
They're going to get the scroll!
We should follow them.
321
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,040
Er, how? They went invisible.
322
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,400
Yeah, and they disappeared.
323
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,240
There they are! Come on!
324
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,760
No, wait - new rule, remember?
We're supposed to split up!
325
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,200
But who's going to go and tell His Darkship?
326
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,800
-I'll go! I'll go!
-Ooh! "I'll go cos I love him!"
327
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,120
HE SNIGGERS
328
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,160
Don't be a child, Jeff.
329
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,840
Yes, don't be a child, Jeff.
330
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,960
Right, then,
there's a scroll in there with my name on it.
331
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,120
Literally.
332
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,240
DEMONIC LAUGHTER Negatus's demons!
333
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,960
No! They can't get the scroll!
334
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,040
Ha-ha! Losers!
335
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,400
THEY SCOFF
336
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:22,480
Whoops!
337
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,320
Friend!
338
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,640
Double friend!
339
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,960
Oh, no!
340
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,240
Nice working with you.
341
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,480
Yeah.
342
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,880
No, no, no, please, no!
343
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,560
Aaaaggghh....!
344
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,760
I might just wait here.
345
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:38,800
Come on!
346
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,880
More friends!
347
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,920
Come on, the sun's going down.
348
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,400
Shush.
349
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,400
-You shhhh.
-No, you! THEY ARGUE
350
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:52,280
That's it! We're here.
351
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,960
Too late! They're closing!
352
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,360
Ow!
353
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,280
So this is how it ends.
354
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,720
Debbie, we need to get out.
355
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,520
No wait, I think I've found it!
356
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,280
The scroll!
357
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,480
Debbie, its moonpaper,
it can't be exposed to...
358
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,040
..sunlight.
359
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,440
Just leave it!
360
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,880
Debbie, come on, we have to go!
361
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:25,680
My haaa-aaaa-aaaat...
362
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,280
..can easily be replaced.
363
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,520
Well, so much for The Chosen One.
364
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,800
You're doing great - on most of my
quests there'd been a death by now.
365
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,320
-What?
-Nothing. I'm just saying, don't be so hard on yourself.
366
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:44,200
I mean, look at them.
367
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,680
You put magic back into the world,
literally.
368
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,040
You don't half talk some crud.
369
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,120
Well, my eternal thanks...
- Hey!
370
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,920
OUR eternal thanks to you, Debbie.
And you, my child.
371
00:19:55,960 --> 00:20:00,880
-I'm 43.
-And if there's anything I can do to repay you, well...
372
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,920
Actually.
I know exactly how you can repay me.
373
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,880
Let's go back to your place.
374
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,960
Oh, um, well, I'm very flattered, Debbie,
375
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,960
but, it's been a little while,
I'm a little rusty, technique...
376
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,040
-Not for that!
-Oh!
377
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,920
Oh. Oh...
378
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,640
So you failed to find the second scroll
379
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,040
and the Wizard Bradley's
powers have been returned?
380
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,640
That is correct, oh, darkest of lords.
381
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,240
You imbeciles!
382
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,480
Ah! Stop doing it, then!
383
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,520
You know by now what happens
to those who fail me.
384
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,560
Right, so gas is back on,
that should all be...
385
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,360
That's good. So...lets have a
look-see at the old bill, eh?
386
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,480
We have got 55 for the furnace itself,
387
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,400
70 for labour, then the dreaded VAT.
388
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaking of dreaded vats...
389
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,160
Aaaagh!
390
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,120
See! Gnashy teeth!
391
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,920
You've got to have your gnashy teeth.
392
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,520
Gnash him right up!
393
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,800
That stuff is amazing!
394
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,160
I'd be out in the garden for a fiver now!
395
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,800
Where do you get it?
396
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,320
Oh, just this place I know.
397
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,720
It's not that new-age gaff, is it?
No, no, it's, um...
398
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,000
Look, every day for the past two
weeks an Elf has come through
399
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,480
the kitchen cupboard and
taken me to another world,
400
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,440
and a wizard there gave me the medicine.
401
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,440
And I know that that sounds really weird...
402
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,160
HE SNORES
403
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:54,280
Oh, my days!
That wizard just blew my mind, man!
404
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,000
I'm not from, er, this part,
405
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,320
but I saw him and then he is not here.
406
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,840
And we was like, "Where?"
And he was like, "Where?"
407
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,480
And we were like, "WHERE?"
408
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:08,120
My brain is trying to now compute
what my eyes now know, yeah?!
409
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,320
I'm sorry,
but if you're not impressed by that,
410
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,080
I don't want to know you.
411
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:15,080
Unless you're, like, really pretty
and then I'll probably get over it.
412
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,160
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
413
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,920
accessibility@bskyb.com
32063
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.