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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are those good
old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Hey, Meg. Where are you going?
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Are you kidding? The Olympic
qualifiers are today.
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- I'm competing.
- In what?
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- I'm a bi...
- Knew it.
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- Athlete.
- Didn't know it.
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If I win today, I'm
going to the Olympics.
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Why is this the first
we're hearing about this?
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It's not. God, how could you
guys not know about this?
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I've been training for years.
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Peter. Peter, I need you
to hold my ears. Aah!
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(BOTH GROANING)
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Oh. Oh.
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(ALL GROANING)
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- Who wants chowder?
- (ALL RETCHING)
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Okay, I'm off to go
train for the Olympics.
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Ew!
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Mom? Mommy? Mommy?
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Mommy? Mama?
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Hey, Ma, I'm gonna go
train for the Olympics.
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Mama? Mama? Ma?
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My goal becomes clear:
the broccoli must die.
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(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
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All right, I'm off to
train for the Olympics.
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See? I've been training
since I was Lacey Chabert.
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- So, are you guys gonna come?
- I don't know.
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The Yule Log Channel
just put on another log,
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and I really like it when the
wood goes "crack, crack,
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pop, crack, pop."
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We all like that. Sorry, Meg.
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That's okay.
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I guess I'll just drive
there by myself...
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in my Jeep!
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Wait a minute. You have a Jeep?
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Well, why didn't you say so?
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Come on, family!
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Let's go do TV commercial driving meant
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for a professional driver
on a closed course.
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ANNOUNCER: Jeep: The toughest
four-letter word on wheels.
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For the driver who doesn't
like to stop going
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just because they've run out of road.
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Ow, my balls! Why'd you do that?
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Head out where the real fun begins.
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There was plenty of road left!
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Where the paved roads leave off.
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Aah! My balls! It's too bumpy.
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Potholes and bumps and ruts
can come as they will.
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Ah, they're getting
rattled and smushed.
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Jeep's welded, rugged
and riveted frame...
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Please go back on the road!
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Takes punishment in large doses...
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- My balls!
- And comes back for more!
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I like safe driving. My balls!
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Thanks again for coming, guys.
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It really means a lot to me.
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Of course, honey. We wouldn't miss it.
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Plus, it's a good excuse
to put on my winter coat
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and find items from last
year still in the pocket.
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Ooh, sticky pennies, a
rock-hard Starburst,
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an appointment card for my
next dental appointment
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that's already come and gone,
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a ticket stub for a
matinee of Interstellar,
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an unwrapped piece of Dentyne,
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a yarmulke from when
that Jewish guy died,
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a breath mint from the
now-defunct Clorets corporation,
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printed-out Mapquest
directions to Dave & Buster's,
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Iron Man Band-Aid,
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Flintstone vitamin I didn't
take 'cause it was Barney,
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refrigerator magnet
from local electrician
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who is now arrested,
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and balled up tissues with
last year's flu on it.
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You done with your pocket bits?
It's freezing!
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So the biathlon combines
cross-country skiing
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- and rifle shooting?
- Yeah.
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Well, that doesn't sound so hard.
Can I try?
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I don't know if that's a good idea.
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My event starts soon.
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Meg, it is my duty as
a bad father to prove
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that I can do anything my kids can do.
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Okay, fine.
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Here we go.
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All right, I think I'm
getting the hang of it.
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I have to say, I'm very proud of Meg.
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Who knew she was good at something?
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Yeah, does anybody else in the
family have any secret talents
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we don't know about?
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I'm the Quahog edging champion.
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That's great, Chris. Now what's that?
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It's the practice of
erotic sexual denial.
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Go wait in the car.
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And no edging!
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RON HOWARD: But he did continue edging,
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bringing himself to the
verge of sexual pleasure,
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only to stop at the last moment.
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I'm Ron Howard, and I do voice-overs
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for this show now, too.
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KRISTEN BELL: But that
was the only voice-over
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00:04:13.107 --> 00:04:14.744
Ron Howard did for the show.
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He asked for too much money.
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I'm Kristen Bell, and I do
reasonably-priced voice-overs.
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MAN: But her voice-overs
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were not reasonably priced,
so they turned to me,
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a guy who sounds like Morgan Freeman,
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but is not, in fact, Morgan Freeman.
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My name is Josh Robert Thompson,
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and I perform for scale.
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(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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♪ ♪
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You're going down, Meg.
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- Lacey Chabert?!
- That's right.
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This should be my Olympics.
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- Shut up, Meg.
- No, you shut up, Meg.
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No, you shut up, Meg.
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PETER: Shut up, Megs!
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Yay, Meg!
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Wow. Meg is going to the Olympics!
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Let's celebrate by burning our lips
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on vending machine hot chocolate.
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- Ow!
- Ugh!
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Mine has whipped cream,
so I didn't get it
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00:05:41.370 --> 00:05:42.522
on the first sip.
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Ow!
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- (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- _
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Thank you.
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Um, I-I'm not really
good at public speaking,
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00:05:53.459 --> 00:05:57.528
so I'll just say...
farble shlup muckle blop.
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All right, Meg, I'll take it from here.
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Hi. I'm Lois Griffin, Meg's mother.
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00:06:02.327 --> 00:06:05.565
You may also know me as the lady
who threw a plate of cheese
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00:06:05.590 --> 00:06:07.356
during that city council meeting.
140
00:06:07.381 --> 00:06:08.701
(CROWD MURMURING)
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00:06:08.726 --> 00:06:10.693
But we got the streets
plowed, though, right?
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(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
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MAN: The cheese worked, yeah.
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00:06:13.140 --> 00:06:16.616
I just wanted to say how proud
we are of Meg's accomplishment.
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So it looks like the Griffins are going
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to the Winter Olympics in Korea!
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00:06:21.500 --> 00:06:23.608
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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Do you think there'll be a gag
about the Jamaican bobsled team?
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00:06:27.785 --> 00:06:29.302
- No, probably not.
- Oh.
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00:06:29.327 --> 00:06:31.989
'Cause I was working on
my exaggerated shiver.
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Burr. Burr. Oh.
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(JAMAICAN ACCENT):
Yeah, man, it be cold.
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(LAUGHING): Okay, okay,
yeah, yeah, maybe.
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There might be. Don't-don't go far.
Don't go far.
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My race isn't for a few days,
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00:07:00.617 --> 00:07:02.934
so we should have plenty
of time to hang out.
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Anyone want to grab some food?
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Sorry, Meg, I can't.
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00:07:05.922 --> 00:07:07.534
I'm trying to land you
some endorsements,
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00:07:07.559 --> 00:07:10.712
and I have a lead with a
very popular IBS medication.
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00:07:10.737 --> 00:07:12.267
Quick, say,
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"I never let traveler's
diarrhea keep me grounded."
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No!
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Well, then you're just handing
this thing right to John Kruk!
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_
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Oh, my God, Brian, look.
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- Who is that?
- Oh, that's figure skater
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00:07:34.653 --> 00:07:37.248
turned flamboyant
commentator Johnny Weir.
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00:07:37.273 --> 00:07:38.570
I wonder where Tara Lipinski is.
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I heard they always have to be
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within quipping distance of each other.
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Oh, she's in the hat!
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Isn't she amazing?
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I feel like she's my soul mate.
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How is she your soul mate?
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She looks like a baby,
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and she's best friends with a gay guy.
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- Her life is my life.
- I'm not gay.
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Well, it's not me!
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00:07:56.923 --> 00:07:58.200
Come on, let's go meet them.
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Hi. I just had to come
over and introduce myself.
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My name is Stewie, and I'm
a huge fan of you guys.
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00:08:03.567 --> 00:08:05.771
Oh, it's nice to meet you, Stewie.
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00:08:05.796 --> 00:08:07.999
Yeah, it's always so
nice to meet our fans.
185
00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:12.283
And can I just say, the shape
of your head is stunning.
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Really? I get a lot of grief for it.
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00:08:13.923 --> 00:08:15.807
Some people say it
looks like a football.
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00:08:15.832 --> 00:08:18.753
Okay, I don't know what that
is, but they're just jealous.
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Every one of them.
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Remember, nothing normal looks good.
191
00:08:23.300 --> 00:08:25.530
Well, I have to say, you
two are the best thing
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00:08:25.780 --> 00:08:26.102
to happen to sports
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00:08:26.127 --> 00:08:28.576
since the New York Knicks
finally changed their name.
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00:08:28.601 --> 00:08:30.112
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:08:30.137 --> 00:08:34.765
please welcome your 2018 New
York Pieces-Of-Dog-(BLEEP).
196
00:08:34.790 --> 00:08:37.458
(CROWD BOOING)
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00:08:42.283 --> 00:08:43.660
(EXHALES)
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Bitty bitty bop.
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Funky, funky.
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00:08:49.647 --> 00:08:52.472
_
201
00:08:52.497 --> 00:08:54.812
_
202
00:08:54.837 --> 00:08:57.589
_
203
00:08:57.614 --> 00:08:59.910
_
204
00:08:59.935 --> 00:09:02.610
_
205
00:09:02.860 --> 00:09:06.279
_
206
00:09:11.312 --> 00:09:12.578
Wow, I can't believe
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00:09:12.603 --> 00:09:15.870
I'm on a first-name basis
with Tara Lipinski.
208
00:09:15.112 --> 00:09:18.870
Now, refresh my memory: is
Tara the one who had the DUI?
209
00:09:18.112 --> 00:09:19.478
No, that's Oksana Baiul!
210
00:09:19.503 --> 00:09:21.286
Oh, sounds like something Gandalf says
211
00:09:21.311 --> 00:09:22.667
at the foot of a mountain.
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00:09:22.692 --> 00:09:25.597
Oksana Baiul!
213
00:09:32.601 --> 00:09:34.895
Okay, we can go in now.
214
00:09:35.944 --> 00:09:37.281
Oh, God, here she comes!
215
00:09:37.306 --> 00:09:38.795
Act like I said something funny.
216
00:09:38.820 --> 00:09:39.911
I don't know, Stewie.
217
00:09:39.936 --> 00:09:42.562
I think the Special Olympics
serve an important purpose.
218
00:09:42.587 --> 00:09:44.963
So do I! Who thinks they don't?
219
00:09:44.988 --> 00:09:46.209
I don't know. Ask this guy.
220
00:09:46.234 --> 00:09:48.686
He's a dog. He's just
learning how to talk.
221
00:09:48.711 --> 00:09:51.546
So, hey, Tara, are you
doing anything later?
222
00:09:51.571 --> 00:09:53.924
I was thinking maybe we could
grab dinner or something.
223
00:09:53.949 --> 00:09:56.561
Yeah, sure. You seem cool.
That could be fun.
224
00:09:56.644 --> 00:09:58.277
All right then, it's a date.
225
00:09:58.302 --> 00:09:59.701
Oh, I just need to make a call.
226
00:09:59.726 --> 00:10:01.359
I was supposed to help
the speed skaters
227
00:10:01.384 --> 00:10:03.470
get their tights over their thighs.
228
00:10:03.495 --> 00:10:04.950
(GRUNTING)
229
00:10:04.975 --> 00:10:06.703
Stewie, it's not gonna fit!
230
00:10:06.728 --> 00:10:08.330
Hey, we can do this.
231
00:10:08.580 --> 00:10:11.229
I worked with Garth Brooks.
Shirt and pants.
232
00:10:11.597 --> 00:10:14.396
Little secret... Garth wears leggings.
233
00:10:14.421 --> 00:10:17.727
The denim pattern is projected on.
234
00:10:17.752 --> 00:10:20.706
Hello, Kansas City!
235
00:10:21.302 --> 00:10:23.960
Stick to the agreed-upon
choreography, please.
236
00:10:23.985 --> 00:10:26.122
Ask who else has friends in low places.
237
00:10:26.147 --> 00:10:28.990
BROOKS: Hey, who else here
has friends in low places?
238
00:10:29.150 --> 00:10:29.983
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
239
00:10:30.800 --> 00:10:32.163
All right, we got 'em back, baby.
240
00:10:34.689 --> 00:10:37.844
♪ ♪
241
00:10:38.577 --> 00:10:40.409
Whoa, Ryan Lochte?
242
00:10:40.434 --> 00:10:42.576
- Uh, where?
- You.
243
00:10:42.601 --> 00:10:43.886
Oh, yeah.
244
00:10:43.911 --> 00:10:45.793
Hey, are you athlete?
245
00:10:45.818 --> 00:10:48.380
No, I just like wearing clothes
that feel like pajamas.
246
00:10:48.405 --> 00:10:51.368
That's most of what being athlete is.
247
00:10:51.393 --> 00:10:53.935
Wait, aren't you a summer sport guy?
248
00:10:53.960 --> 00:10:56.601
Oh... it's cold.
249
00:10:56.626 --> 00:10:58.901
Here's a beer. Follow me.
250
00:10:58.926 --> 00:11:01.110
MORGAN FREEMAN: Peter partied all night
251
00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:03.599
with international bozo Ryan Lochte.
252
00:11:03.624 --> 00:11:05.807
And this voice-over
was actually covered
253
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:08.494
by my original payment.
254
00:11:13.388 --> 00:11:15.838
Stewie, I'm very impressed.
255
00:11:15.863 --> 00:11:17.796
I didn't know you skated.
256
00:11:17.821 --> 00:11:20.462
Yeah, well, there's a lot
you don't know about me.
257
00:11:20.487 --> 00:11:22.653
Like I'm always full of surprises.
258
00:11:22.678 --> 00:11:24.452
- (SNAPS FINGERS)
- (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
259
00:11:24.477 --> 00:11:26.245
- BRIAN: Did it work?
- Yes. Yeah.
260
00:11:26.270 --> 00:11:27.960
You were supposed to be quiet!
261
00:11:27.985 --> 00:11:30.478
Would you like to join me for a dance?
262
00:11:30.685 --> 00:11:34.286
♪ ♪
263
00:11:34.476 --> 00:11:35.875
Wow!
264
00:11:36.104 --> 00:11:38.700
♪ ♪
265
00:11:45.259 --> 00:11:47.826
STEWIE: But that's not
how it really happened.
266
00:11:47.851 --> 00:11:50.125
Would you like to join me for a dance?
267
00:11:51.539 --> 00:11:53.772
BRIAN: Oh-ho! Wow.
268
00:11:53.797 --> 00:11:55.614
Ow! Ow! I bit my tongue!
269
00:11:55.639 --> 00:11:58.407
- I swallowed the piece!
- Oh, my God, are you okay?
270
00:11:58.432 --> 00:12:00.432
Don't go on the ice. It's too slippery.
271
00:12:00.457 --> 00:12:02.459
I'll crawl back. Don't watch me.
272
00:12:02.484 --> 00:12:05.180
(GROANING)
273
00:12:12.780 --> 00:12:15.360
- Hi, hi, hi.
- Oh. Hey, Johnny.
274
00:12:15.202 --> 00:12:18.167
I'm just gonna run to the
bathroom real quick. B-R-B.
275
00:12:18.192 --> 00:12:20.452
Oh, she's a regular Tinkle Britches.
276
00:12:20.477 --> 00:12:22.829
(DEEP VOICE): Get the hell out
of here, you little maggot.
277
00:12:22.854 --> 00:12:24.372
Wha-Wha... Johnny?
278
00:12:24.397 --> 00:12:27.730
- What happened to your voice?
- This is my voice.
279
00:12:27.980 --> 00:12:28.788
You think I actually talk like that?
280
00:12:28.813 --> 00:12:30.944
That's just something I do
to get the skater chicks.
281
00:12:30.969 --> 00:12:34.139
- Does Tara know?
- Nah. She don't like guys like me.
282
00:12:34.164 --> 00:12:36.149
(HIGH-PITCHED): She likes guys like me.
283
00:12:36.180 --> 00:12:38.791
Wait, but she had a great
time with me tonight.
284
00:12:38.816 --> 00:12:41.650
(DEEP VOICE): Yeah, that's what
she does with her gay friends.
285
00:12:41.900 --> 00:12:43.155
But you're her gay friend.
286
00:12:43.180 --> 00:12:45.200
What'd you say, you little (BLEEP)?!
287
00:12:45.270 --> 00:12:46.837
Is everything okay out here?
288
00:12:46.862 --> 00:12:48.345
(HIGH-PITCHED): Yeah, I was
just looking at his shirt.
289
00:12:48.370 --> 00:12:51.770
I love this Nordstrom Rack.
How was the tinkle?
290
00:12:51.102 --> 00:12:52.791
It was good. I also dumped.
291
00:12:52.816 --> 00:12:54.270
You're so bad.
292
00:12:54.649 --> 00:12:57.590
Anyway, sad emoji face,
Stewie has to leave.
293
00:12:57.840 --> 00:12:59.820
Oh. Okay. Bye, Stewie.
294
00:12:59.107 --> 00:13:00.934
I had a wonderful time.
295
00:13:00.959 --> 00:13:02.794
Me... me, too.
296
00:13:02.819 --> 00:13:05.313
(DEEP VOICE): Not as
good as I'm gonna have.
297
00:13:05.338 --> 00:13:07.191
And I know what a (BLEEP) football is.
298
00:13:07.216 --> 00:13:09.514
Killed me to say that.
299
00:13:15.755 --> 00:13:19.328
Hey, you flush underwear
in train toilet?!
300
00:13:19.353 --> 00:13:21.294
Yeah, they, uh, th-they were done.
301
00:13:21.319 --> 00:13:23.863
This illegal. I want you off train!
302
00:13:23.888 --> 00:13:25.254
What are you gonna do about it?
303
00:13:25.279 --> 00:13:27.460
You're just a train conductor...
304
00:13:27.710 --> 00:13:29.579
who has a huge kicking foot?
305
00:13:29.604 --> 00:13:33.439
Aah! Oh!
306
00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:35.470
Where the hell am I?
307
00:13:35.495 --> 00:13:38.299
Oh, my God, I'm in the wrong Korea.
308
00:13:38.324 --> 00:13:43.316
That's it. Like your missiles,
I'm about to go ballistic.
309
00:13:46.847 --> 00:13:49.640
PETER: But that's not
how it really happened.
310
00:13:49.890 --> 00:13:53.369
That's it. Like your missiles,
I'm about to go ballistic.
311
00:13:53.394 --> 00:13:56.261
Ow! A northern bird flew into my nuts!
312
00:13:56.286 --> 00:13:58.322
(GROANS) Go to commercial.
313
00:14:06.888 --> 00:14:08.121
(SNIFFING)
314
00:14:08.146 --> 00:14:09.315
That's weird.
315
00:14:09.340 --> 00:14:12.374
It doesn't smell like
open butt in here.
316
00:14:12.399 --> 00:14:14.430
Peter?
317
00:14:16.925 --> 00:14:21.206
Huh, he's usually up by now
dry-heaving in the shower.
318
00:14:23.151 --> 00:14:25.170
Hi, I'm pink-eyed Bob Costas,
319
00:14:25.420 --> 00:14:27.385
live from our Pyeongchang studios,
320
00:14:27.410 --> 00:14:28.757
here to bring you breaking news,
321
00:14:28.782 --> 00:14:30.611
and occasionally blink off-synch
322
00:14:30.636 --> 00:14:33.409
in an attempt to satisfy
my searing eye itchiness.
323
00:14:33.434 --> 00:14:35.495
A U.S. tourist, Peter Griffin,
324
00:14:35.520 --> 00:14:37.353
has been apprehended by North Korea
325
00:14:37.378 --> 00:14:40.450
and is being held prisoner
for what I'm being told
326
00:14:40.700 --> 00:14:42.904
is trespassing and doing
that thing with your eyes
327
00:14:42.929 --> 00:14:44.695
that makes you look Chinese.
328
00:14:44.720 --> 00:14:49.130
Damn it. Why does Peter have
to ruin every family vacation?
329
00:14:49.155 --> 00:14:51.784
Just like he ruined our
trip to La La Land.
330
00:14:51.809 --> 00:14:53.809
♪ ♪
331
00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:01.211
Hey, guy who's never
been uncool in a movie,
332
00:15:01.236 --> 00:15:02.998
I requested "Dominick the Donkey"
333
00:15:03.230 --> 00:15:04.256
like an hour ago.
334
00:15:04.324 --> 00:15:06.925
It's Christmastime, and I
want greaseball songs.
335
00:15:06.950 --> 00:15:08.352
(SIGHS)
336
00:15:08.377 --> 00:15:09.783
♪ ♪
337
00:15:09.808 --> 00:15:12.240
♪ Hey, chingedy ching,
hee-haw, hee-haw ♪
338
00:15:12.265 --> 00:15:14.191
♪ It's Dominick the donkey ♪
339
00:15:14.216 --> 00:15:16.291
♪ Chingedy ching, hee-haw, hee-haw ♪
340
00:15:16.316 --> 00:15:17.649
♪ The Italian Christmas donkey ♪
341
00:15:17.674 --> 00:15:18.704
♪ La, la, la-la ♪
342
00:15:18.729 --> 00:15:20.130
Ooh, like the movie!
343
00:15:20.155 --> 00:15:22.970
♪ La-la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
344
00:15:22.122 --> 00:15:26.457
♪ La, la, la, la, la,
la-lee, oh, dah! ♪
345
00:15:26.482 --> 00:15:28.228
Again.
346
00:15:33.774 --> 00:15:36.208
(DEEP VOICE): Hey, sorry
about last night, bro.
347
00:15:36.233 --> 00:15:38.541
- No hard feelings?
- Yes, hard feelings.
348
00:15:38.566 --> 00:15:40.500
I told you, I really liked her.
349
00:15:40.300 --> 00:15:42.617
Yo, relax. We only had awesome sex.
350
00:15:42.642 --> 00:15:44.844
Geez. All right, see you later.
351
00:15:44.892 --> 00:15:47.979
I got to go wash Tara's
lipstick off my ass.
352
00:15:49.102 --> 00:15:50.992
Well, at least I have a side,
353
00:15:51.170 --> 00:15:53.410
you neutral Swiss cowards!
354
00:15:53.487 --> 00:15:55.340
Oh, hey, Stewie, how's it going?
355
00:15:55.590 --> 00:15:58.466
Terrible. Johnny Weir's
making my life a nightmare.
356
00:15:58.491 --> 00:16:00.883
I really thought I had a
shot with Tara Lipinski,
357
00:16:00.908 --> 00:16:02.174
and he ruined it.
358
00:16:02.317 --> 00:16:03.983
I'm sorry to hear that.
359
00:16:04.800 --> 00:16:05.874
You want me to take him out for you?
360
00:16:05.899 --> 00:16:08.315
Really? You'd do that for me?
361
00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:10.971
Of course. I owe you for
getting me that job
362
00:16:10.996 --> 00:16:12.590
with Gloria Allred.
363
00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:15.536
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
364
00:16:15.561 --> 00:16:18.616
CHRIS: They say if you get
a job doing what you love,
365
00:16:18.641 --> 00:16:22.910
you never work a day in your life.
366
00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:28.488
Now it's clothes, now it's clothes,
367
00:16:28.513 --> 00:16:30.103
now it's clothes.
368
00:16:30.128 --> 00:16:33.168
This is for my brother, you
Tom Hiddleston lookalike!
369
00:16:33.193 --> 00:16:36.270
- (DEEP VOICE): You serious, bro?
- Oh, no.
370
00:16:36.520 --> 00:16:38.626
Now you're gonna beat me
up like a Batman fight,
371
00:16:38.651 --> 00:16:40.164
only with gay words.
372
00:16:40.189 --> 00:16:40.765
♪ ♪
373
00:16:40.790 --> 00:16:41.790
_
374
00:16:41.971 --> 00:16:42.971
_
375
00:16:43.867 --> 00:16:44.867
_
376
00:16:45.433 --> 00:16:46.433
_
377
00:16:47.564 --> 00:16:48.564
_
378
00:16:49.379 --> 00:16:50.379
_
379
00:16:51.440 --> 00:16:52.600
_
380
00:16:56.198 --> 00:16:59.197
Kids, Brian, I've got some bad news.
381
00:16:59.222 --> 00:17:01.649
Your father has been
kidnapped by North Korea.
382
00:17:01.674 --> 00:17:03.131
We've got to save him.
383
00:17:03.156 --> 00:17:04.498
But my race is this afternoon.
384
00:17:04.523 --> 00:17:06.846
I know, but your father needs us.
385
00:17:06.871 --> 00:17:09.545
I don't care. Where was
he when I needed help?
386
00:17:09.570 --> 00:17:11.180
Where were any of you guys?
387
00:17:11.205 --> 00:17:13.171
This was supposed to be my week.
388
00:17:13.196 --> 00:17:16.662
Down here, it's my time.
It's my time down here!
389
00:17:16.777 --> 00:17:18.822
- Is that from Goonies?
- I think so, yeah.
390
00:17:18.847 --> 00:17:20.300
So you guys can all go.
391
00:17:20.325 --> 00:17:22.358
But I'm staying here,
and I'm competing.
392
00:17:22.383 --> 00:17:23.949
And I'm gonna go inside,
outside, inside, outside.
393
00:17:23.974 --> 00:17:25.590
And I'm gonna get 'em on the run, boys.
394
00:17:25.615 --> 00:17:28.189
And once I get 'em on the run,
I'm gonna keep 'em on the run.
395
00:17:28.214 --> 00:17:30.677
Wow, she knows a lot of
Sean Astin speeches.
396
00:17:30.702 --> 00:17:32.635
Go. You don't care.
397
00:17:32.660 --> 00:17:35.686
The only thing you care about
is nugs, chilling and grindage.
398
00:17:35.711 --> 00:17:39.270
Encino Man. Sean Astin, deep cut.
399
00:17:47.355 --> 00:17:49.288
Me? Oh...
400
00:17:49.313 --> 00:17:51.392
ANNOUNCER: Racers, take your mark.
401
00:17:51.417 --> 00:17:52.516
(STARTING GUN FIRES)
402
00:17:52.541 --> 00:17:54.519
SPECTATOR: Go, everyone but her.
403
00:17:54.590 --> 00:17:56.327
(CHEERING)
404
00:17:56.352 --> 00:17:58.318
♪ ♪
405
00:18:02.523 --> 00:18:03.923
Wait, before you kill me,
406
00:18:03.948 --> 00:18:05.481
can you at least give
me an extra bullet
407
00:18:05.506 --> 00:18:07.699
so I can pretend to
catch one in my teeth?
408
00:18:07.724 --> 00:18:09.306
(GUNS CLICKING)
409
00:18:10.439 --> 00:18:14.164
MEG: Lacey Chabert!
410
00:18:14.189 --> 00:18:16.143
Meg!
411
00:18:19.217 --> 00:18:22.982
_
412
00:18:27.282 --> 00:18:28.460
(GROANS)
413
00:18:52.486 --> 00:18:54.184
Meg, that was amazing!
414
00:18:54.209 --> 00:18:55.605
But how we gonna get out of here?
415
00:18:55.630 --> 00:18:58.226
- We're surrounded.
- There's only one way.
416
00:18:58.251 --> 00:19:00.412
An impossible video game escape.
417
00:19:00.437 --> 00:19:02.315
Ooh, can it be GoldenEye?
418
00:19:02.340 --> 00:19:03.929
- Sure.
- Yes!
419
00:19:03.954 --> 00:19:05.300
♪ ♪
420
00:19:05.280 --> 00:19:10.600
_
421
00:19:10.780 --> 00:19:13.316
PETER: Bond. James Bond.
422
00:19:16.231 --> 00:19:19.850
Don't worry, Meg, it's less
sad because they don't bleed.
423
00:19:20.930 --> 00:19:23.800
Oh, don't shoot this guy.
He was nice to me.
424
00:19:23.330 --> 00:19:25.286
Aw, never mind.
425
00:19:25.947 --> 00:19:28.146
These guys are terrible shots.
426
00:19:29.597 --> 00:19:32.865
I love this almost James Bond music.
427
00:19:32.890 --> 00:19:36.431
Meg, this is what 1997 looked like.
428
00:19:36.456 --> 00:19:39.251
It's my turn next try.
I want to go next.
429
00:19:40.155 --> 00:19:43.567
You think one guy had to
shovel this whole walkway?
430
00:19:44.259 --> 00:19:47.358
Oh, great, more stairs.
431
00:19:50.445 --> 00:19:52.584
This is how you know we're done.
432
00:19:59.467 --> 00:20:01.514
Peter, you're safe!
433
00:20:01.539 --> 00:20:03.538
Yep, and it's all thanks to Meg.
434
00:20:03.563 --> 00:20:05.438
But, Meg, what about your race?
435
00:20:05.463 --> 00:20:07.255
Well, I realized that
it wasn't worth doing
436
00:20:07.280 --> 00:20:09.113
if you guys weren't there with me.
437
00:20:09.322 --> 00:20:11.319
Oh, Meg, we are so sorry
438
00:20:11.344 --> 00:20:12.956
for how we treated you this week.
439
00:20:12.981 --> 00:20:15.348
You may not have won a
gold medal in the games,
440
00:20:15.373 --> 00:20:17.941
but you won one in our hearts.
441
00:20:18.710 --> 00:20:20.650
♪ ♪
442
00:20:24.325 --> 00:20:26.288
What do you say, guys,
should we go home?
443
00:20:26.313 --> 00:20:28.500
I don't know, I'm thinking maybe we can
444
00:20:28.750 --> 00:20:29.216
hang out a little bit longer,
445
00:20:29.241 --> 00:20:31.160
see what else Korea
has to offer... Uh-oh.
446
00:20:31.185 --> 00:20:33.469
No! You leave Korea now!
447
00:20:33.494 --> 00:20:38.607
- (GRUNTS)
- PETER: Meet me wherever I land!
448
00:20:38.632 --> 00:20:41.447
MORGAN FREEMAN: Peter landed
somewhere in the DMZ,
449
00:20:41.472 --> 00:20:43.713
and was recaptured by North Korea.
450
00:20:43.738 --> 00:20:47.951
Fortunately, tensions caused
by this international incident
451
00:20:47.976 --> 00:20:49.666
were resolved by the steady hand
452
00:20:49.691 --> 00:20:51.249
of Dennis Rodman,
453
00:20:51.274 --> 00:20:53.484
who let Kim Jong-un win
454
00:20:53.509 --> 00:20:55.520
in a one-on-one basketball
game against him,
455
00:20:55.545 --> 00:20:58.980
continuously saying, "Oop, you got me,"
456
00:20:58.123 --> 00:21:00.321
in a way that was just
convincing enough
457
00:21:00.346 --> 00:21:02.209
for Kim to believe.
458
00:21:03.424 --> 00:21:09.354
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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