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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:26,168 --> 00:00:28,531 - Action. - Design. 3 00:00:33,604 --> 00:00:35,934 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 4 00:00:37,102 --> 00:00:40,070 ♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪ 5 00:00:46,815 --> 00:00:49,981 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 6 00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:53,127 ♪ It's the best time of the year ♪ 7 00:00:54,361 --> 00:00:57,791 ♪ I don't know if there'll be snow ♪ 8 00:00:57,826 --> 00:01:00,398 ♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪ 9 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:03,764 ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪ 10 00:01:03,799 --> 00:01:06,272 ♪ And when you walk down the street... ♪ 11 00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:10,639 Another one? 12 00:01:10,674 --> 00:01:14,643 Well, I'm still vertical, so I'd like to change that. 13 00:01:14,678 --> 00:01:17,943 ♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪ 14 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:20,319 ♪ Hung where you can see ♪ 15 00:01:21,355 --> 00:01:23,652 ♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪ 16 00:01:23,687 --> 00:01:25,753 Ho, ho. 17 00:01:27,394 --> 00:01:29,460 Bitter. Pint. 18 00:01:30,694 --> 00:01:32,430 You just get off? 19 00:01:32,465 --> 00:01:35,169 ♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪ 20 00:01:35,204 --> 00:01:37,501 ♪ Oh, by golly, have a holly... ♪ 21 00:01:37,536 --> 00:01:39,437 I'm taking a break. 22 00:01:39,472 --> 00:01:41,637 Between shifts, I guess you could say. 23 00:01:41,672 --> 00:01:43,342 - Hmm. - You ain't driving, are you? 24 00:01:43,377 --> 00:01:46,180 I steer a little, but the reindeer do most of the work. 25 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,547 Mm-hmm. 26 00:01:50,582 --> 00:01:52,615 This is my, uh, fourth year as a Santa. 27 00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:53,946 Ah. 28 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,288 How about you? 29 00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,620 Lost count. 30 00:01:57,655 --> 00:02:00,623 I forget why I started doing it in the first place. 31 00:02:00,658 --> 00:02:03,692 Same reason anybody does anything. 32 00:02:03,727 --> 00:02:05,694 The money. 33 00:02:05,729 --> 00:02:08,301 Money. Money. 34 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,303 This whole planet runs on greed. 35 00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:17,475 It's the look on the kiddies' faces, innit? 36 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:19,213 That's what does it for me. 37 00:02:19,248 --> 00:02:22,843 Ah, the look. Yeah, that look. 38 00:02:22,878 --> 00:02:25,076 Lasts about two seconds. 39 00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:27,353 As soon as they're finished unwrapping, 40 00:02:27,388 --> 00:02:29,916 they want the next present, 41 00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:32,589 they want the next cool thing. 42 00:02:32,624 --> 00:02:34,591 That's how this world works. 43 00:02:34,626 --> 00:02:36,692 And kids... What kids have become. 44 00:02:36,727 --> 00:02:40,894 They're just like little junkies. 45 00:02:40,929 --> 00:02:43,501 They're little shits. They just demand. 46 00:02:43,536 --> 00:02:45,162 They don't believe. 47 00:02:45,197 --> 00:02:48,770 They just want, crave, consume. 48 00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,173 Maybe this is my last year. 49 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,287 The last Christmas. 50 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,591 Well, I can't stand seeing another Santa in distress. 51 00:03:08,825 --> 00:03:10,363 Put his drinks on my tab. 52 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,925 - Okay? - Yeah. 53 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,466 Oh, very merry of you. Okay. 54 00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:16,963 I better get going. 55 00:03:16,998 --> 00:03:18,965 Presents aren't gonna deliver themselves. 56 00:03:20,232 --> 00:03:22,276 Oh, uh... 57 00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:24,135 For your grandson. Save me a trip. 58 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,203 It's, uh, that new video game. 59 00:03:26,238 --> 00:03:28,810 It's Astro Blaster, Blaster Astro. 60 00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:30,812 I-I don't know. 61 00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:32,286 Merry Christmas. 62 00:03:32,321 --> 00:03:34,651 How'd he know my grandson's name? 63 00:03:34,686 --> 00:03:37,951 How'd he know I have a grandson? - 64 00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:42,054 Oi! That door leads to the roof. 65 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,462 Piss head. 66 00:03:43,497 --> 00:03:45,959 Go easy on him. It's Christmas. 67 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,602 Hey! You can't be up here. 68 00:03:51,637 --> 00:03:55,166 If you break your neck, I'm the one... 69 00:04:15,023 --> 00:04:17,298 My God. 70 00:04:22,536 --> 00:04:24,338 It's... 71 00:04:26,408 --> 00:04:27,704 beauti... 72 00:05:14,753 --> 00:05:17,017 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. 73 00:05:17,052 --> 00:05:19,217 There she is. Hello, muffin. 74 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,363 Let's go see Grandma. 75 00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,828 Ooh. 76 00:05:25,863 --> 00:05:27,896 Merry Christmas. 77 00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:31,768 Merry Christmas, Trudy. 78 00:05:31,803 --> 00:05:33,099 Merry... 79 00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:34,837 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! 80 00:05:34,872 --> 00:05:38,071 Merry Christmas, Daddy, ya filthy animal. 81 00:05:39,778 --> 00:05:41,844 She got to stay up late and watch Home Alone. 82 00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:42,911 Uh-huh. 83 00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:45,848 It was so funny. 84 00:05:45,883 --> 00:05:48,378 - Yep. - That... that hurts. 85 00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,786 - All morning. - Okay, um... 86 00:05:49,821 --> 00:05:51,656 Thank you. 87 00:05:52,791 --> 00:05:54,758 For doing this. 88 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,826 I'm not doing it for you. 89 00:05:58,632 --> 00:06:00,764 - It's Christmas! - Yeah! 90 00:06:20,082 --> 00:06:21,653 Merry Christmas, Al. 91 00:06:21,688 --> 00:06:23,457 Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas. 92 00:06:23,492 --> 00:06:25,492 - Mr. Lightstone. - Hey, Al. 93 00:06:25,527 --> 00:06:26,955 Hey, you back there, Tru? 94 00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:28,627 Yeah, I bet you're excited for Christmas. 95 00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:30,563 What did you ask Santa for? 96 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,224 Not to work on Christmas Eve. 97 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,731 Must've been naughty this year, 98 00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:35,502 - 'cause here I am. - Mm-hmm. 99 00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:37,504 Just make sure you let Santa through the gates later, Al. 100 00:06:37,539 --> 00:06:38,934 - Yeah. - Have a merry one, now. 101 00:06:38,969 --> 00:06:40,936 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Al. 102 00:06:40,971 --> 00:06:42,971 Merry Christmas, Tru. 103 00:06:43,006 --> 00:06:44,401 - Thank you, Al. - Yeah. 104 00:07:07,459 --> 00:07:09,899 I can't remember where the second one is. 105 00:07:13,201 --> 00:07:15,036 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 106 00:07:15,071 --> 00:07:17,005 Merry Christmas. 107 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,106 Hope you're on the nice list. 108 00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:21,812 That doesn't go over there. 109 00:07:29,514 --> 00:07:31,283 Excuse me. 110 00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,322 What the hell is this? 111 00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:39,566 You are the worst catering company on the planet. 112 00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:41,568 It's lengthwise, not width. 113 00:07:41,603 --> 00:07:43,394 Unbelievable. 114 00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:01,181 Okay. 115 00:08:01,216 --> 00:08:03,348 Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas. 116 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,383 - Hi. - I'm fine. Thank you so much. 117 00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:11,631 I'll never get over the fact that you grew up like this. 118 00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:15,393 My therapist says I'll never get over it, either. 119 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:17,604 I need a drink. 120 00:08:17,639 --> 00:08:19,199 ♪ Two turtledoves ♪ 121 00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:22,268 ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree... ♪ 122 00:08:22,303 --> 00:08:25,370 Hey, look at that. 123 00:08:34,315 --> 00:08:36,282 Hi, Linda. 124 00:08:36,317 --> 00:08:38,350 - Hey. - How's it going, Alva? 125 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,253 Mm-hmm. You gained weight. 126 00:08:40,288 --> 00:08:43,091 Looks good on you, though. 127 00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:45,027 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 128 00:08:45,062 --> 00:08:46,633 'Sup, limp dick? 129 00:08:48,263 --> 00:08:49,801 I got great feelings about this Christmas. 130 00:08:49,836 --> 00:08:52,034 - You want to know why? - Yeah. 131 00:08:52,069 --> 00:08:53,970 'Cause I think this is the year 132 00:08:54,005 --> 00:08:55,972 that Mom's gonna kick herself upstairs 133 00:08:56,007 --> 00:08:58,645 and choose one of us to start running the show. 134 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:02,913 And I got to tell you, Jason, that I'm gunning for your ass. 135 00:09:04,576 --> 00:09:06,279 What would a Lightstone family Christmas be 136 00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,050 without groveling and infighting? 137 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,086 Your rosé, ma'am. 138 00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:13,759 Honey, smile. It's Christmas. 139 00:09:13,794 --> 00:09:14,925 Mm. 140 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,421 Good. Good girl. 141 00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:21,998 I am sorry about my sister. 142 00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:24,638 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 143 00:09:24,673 --> 00:09:27,498 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing... ♪ 144 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:29,610 It is really nice to see you. 145 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,977 To have you here. 146 00:09:34,012 --> 00:09:37,310 ♪ Jingle all the way... ♪ 147 00:09:37,345 --> 00:09:40,610 Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up on all the hot goss. 148 00:09:40,645 --> 00:09:42,656 Hot goss. Okay. 149 00:09:42,691 --> 00:09:46,418 Um, well, you remember Bert, my sister's pride and joy. 150 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:50,191 Yo, yo, yo. This is the Bert Locker 151 00:09:50,226 --> 00:09:54,096 living that bling life on Christmas Eve. 152 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,099 Hashtag "blessed." 153 00:09:57,134 --> 00:09:59,772 He just got what I can only assume 154 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,841 will be his first of many sexual harassment accusations. 155 00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:04,711 Mom paid off the school, 156 00:10:04,746 --> 00:10:06,680 and now the gymnasium is named after us. 157 00:10:06,715 --> 00:10:08,682 Of course she did. 158 00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:09,815 What about Tragic Mike? 159 00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:11,542 All I'm saying is, 160 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,379 if I was on one of those planes, 161 00:10:13,414 --> 00:10:15,381 9/11 would've ended with a bunch of terrorists 162 00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:19,121 skydiving over Connecticut without their parachutes. 163 00:10:19,156 --> 00:10:21,156 - Yeah. You like that? - Yes. Yes. 164 00:10:21,191 --> 00:10:23,389 - Yeah, I do like it. - Ooh. 165 00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:25,655 - Kiss me in front of my son. - Now, huh? 166 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:28,361 Mm... 167 00:10:28,396 --> 00:10:30,396 He might actually be a decent actor. 168 00:10:30,431 --> 00:10:32,497 -Hmm. -He's been doing an Oscar-worthy job 169 00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,005 - of pretending to find my sister appealing. - 170 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,370 Now he wants Mom to fund a film for him. 171 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,540 - It's Gertrude! - It's Mom. 172 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,575 - Okay, let's do this. - Okay, okay. Come on. 173 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,214 - Come on. Bert, get over here. - No. Mom. Mom! 174 00:10:46,249 --> 00:10:47,545 - Positions. - Game time, buddy. 175 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,316 - Okay. Okay. - This is my good side. 176 00:10:49,351 --> 00:10:51,054 I'm busy. -ALVA: We've gone over this! Come on! 177 00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:52,220 Gosh. Okay. 178 00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:53,419 Bert, get in the middle. 179 00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:54,761 So it begins. 180 00:10:54,796 --> 00:10:56,653 Seriously, come. You know what that means. 181 00:10:56,688 --> 00:10:58,765 Shall we jockey forward? 182 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,459 No. 183 00:11:01,693 --> 00:11:04,166 No, we can hang back. 184 00:11:04,201 --> 00:11:05,695 Yeah. 185 00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:07,268 Trudy, honey? 186 00:11:09,140 --> 00:11:10,436 Come on over here. 187 00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:14,011 Just, like... 188 00:11:14,046 --> 00:11:15,749 Threaten 'em or bribe 'em. 189 00:11:15,784 --> 00:11:17,080 This isn't rocket science. 190 00:11:17,115 --> 00:11:18,576 Same shit we always do. 191 00:11:20,217 --> 00:11:21,579 That's what? 192 00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:23,889 That's the best you can do? 193 00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:25,759 Excited to see your grandma? 194 00:11:25,794 --> 00:11:27,189 Listen, you cocksucker. 195 00:11:27,224 --> 00:11:29,092 It's Christmas, so why don't you take 196 00:11:29,127 --> 00:11:31,028 your best offer, gift wrap it, 197 00:11:31,063 --> 00:11:33,965 and ram it up your fucking box. 198 00:11:35,397 --> 00:11:37,771 Maybe you don't realize who I am. 199 00:11:37,806 --> 00:11:39,267 Those were Grandma words. You know, forget them. 200 00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:41,071 Oh, boy. Look at Mr. Cool back here. 201 00:11:41,106 --> 00:11:43,370 Yeah, what's your angle, man? Hmm? 202 00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:45,911 No angle. I'm not doing anything. 203 00:11:45,946 --> 00:11:47,473 Oh, yeah. 204 00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:49,244 No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No! 205 00:11:49,279 --> 00:11:52,049 Don't shit in my mouth and tell me it's chocolate cake. 206 00:11:52,084 --> 00:11:53,380 Grandma's cool. 207 00:11:53,415 --> 00:11:55,745 I can make that story go away... 208 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,417 I think your brother's up to something. 209 00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:59,122 No, I just decided to let you guys 210 00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:00,959 have all the fun sucking up to Mom today. 211 00:12:00,994 --> 00:12:03,720 Please. You are King Suck-up. 212 00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:05,755 You named your kid Gertrude. 213 00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:09,396 Alva, you named your son Bertrude. 214 00:12:09,431 --> 00:12:11,596 Okay. 215 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:13,499 Sorry, Bert, but that's not a real name. 216 00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:16,073 Sorry, Linda. We can't all be lucky enough to have daughters. 217 00:12:16,108 --> 00:12:17,844 Mom, I can hear you. 218 00:12:19,210 --> 00:12:21,672 You know something we don't. What is it? 219 00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:23,278 No, I don't. I don't. 220 00:12:23,313 --> 00:12:24,576 I got it. Bingo. 221 00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:25,852 I'm onto you, man. Come on! 222 00:12:25,887 --> 00:12:27,612 - We were just... - Come on, 223 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:28,954 come on, come on, come on. 224 00:12:28,989 --> 00:12:31,088 - You big sack of shit. - Ooh. 225 00:12:31,123 --> 00:12:32,859 No wonder your husband left you. 226 00:12:32,894 --> 00:12:34,960 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 227 00:12:36,227 --> 00:12:38,458 Merry Christmas to you, too, Senator. 228 00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:41,164 - Merry Christmas, Mommy. - Merry Christmas. 229 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,299 Merry Christmas. 230 00:12:44,334 --> 00:12:46,730 Why in the hell are you standing all the way back there? 231 00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:49,766 Merry Christmas, Grandma! 232 00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:51,878 - Aw. - Little bitch. 233 00:12:51,913 --> 00:12:54,309 Little Gertrude. And how is my favorite granddaughter? 234 00:12:54,344 --> 00:12:56,707 Everybody calls me Trudy now. 235 00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,346 Trudy? 236 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:02,152 -Well, that makes her sound like a whore. -Okay. 237 00:13:02,187 --> 00:13:04,550 Oh, she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. 238 00:13:04,585 --> 00:13:06,992 I'm starving. Let's eat. 239 00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:08,554 Great. 240 00:13:08,589 --> 00:13:10,963 And, Mom, I think Gertrude is a beautiful name. 241 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,328 Mm-hmm. I only call her Gertrude. 242 00:13:13,363 --> 00:13:14,659 - Merry Christmas, Gertrude. - Come on, Bertrude. 243 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,366 ♪ When the kids are fast asleep ♪ 244 00:13:18,401 --> 00:13:20,973 ♪ Gently down the stairs we'll creep ♪ 245 00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:25,571 ♪ Then we'll lock and bolt all the doors ♪ 246 00:13:25,606 --> 00:13:29,146 ♪ Just you and me and Santa Claus ♪ 247 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,480 ♪ We'll be as quiet as quiet can be ♪ 248 00:13:33,515 --> 00:13:36,846 ♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪ 249 00:13:36,881 --> 00:13:40,586 ♪ We'll be crawling around on all fours ♪ 250 00:13:40,621 --> 00:13:42,357 ♪ Just you and me ♪ 251 00:13:42,392 --> 00:13:44,854 ♪ And Santa Claus ♪ 252 00:13:52,369 --> 00:13:54,336 ♪ For soon will be ♪ 253 00:13:54,371 --> 00:13:56,107 ♪ That magic time ♪ 254 00:13:56,142 --> 00:13:58,703 ♪ When we hear that midnight chime ♪ 255 00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:02,080 ♪ When that flying sleigh ♪ 256 00:14:02,115 --> 00:14:04,445 ♪ Finally flies away ♪ 257 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,712 ♪ We'll have a very merry Christmas Day ♪ 258 00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:12,123 ♪ We'll raise a toast to the team with the most ♪ 259 00:14:12,158 --> 00:14:15,522 ♪ The best there ever was ♪ 260 00:14:15,557 --> 00:14:19,559 ♪ You and me and Santa Claus... ♪ 261 00:14:19,594 --> 00:14:22,133 Another fucking Christmas. 262 00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,435 I made these all by myself. 263 00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,140 - No way. - Mm-hmm. 264 00:14:29,175 --> 00:14:31,142 I even made one that looks exactly like Santa. 265 00:14:31,177 --> 00:14:33,573 - Exactly. - Yeah. 266 00:14:34,576 --> 00:14:35,982 Santa gets a candy cane, too? 267 00:14:36,017 --> 00:14:37,280 Yeah. 268 00:14:37,315 --> 00:14:38,677 Mm, okay. 269 00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:41,746 It's perfect. 270 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,550 No peeking. 271 00:14:43,585 --> 00:14:45,882 This house has so many chimneys. 272 00:14:47,523 --> 00:14:49,589 How will Santa know which one to come down? 273 00:14:49,624 --> 00:14:51,426 Oh, Santa just knows. 274 00:14:51,461 --> 00:14:52,966 Christmas magic. 275 00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:57,971 Honey, what's wrong? 276 00:14:58,006 --> 00:15:01,139 Daddy never took me to see Santa at the mall this year. 277 00:15:02,142 --> 00:15:04,175 He didn't. 278 00:15:06,641 --> 00:15:08,641 I am so sorry. 279 00:15:10,612 --> 00:15:12,513 This year has been weird. 280 00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:16,187 I never got to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas. 281 00:15:16,222 --> 00:15:18,552 Oh, honey. Come here. 282 00:15:22,459 --> 00:15:24,921 You know what? 283 00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:29,200 You go put your pj's on, 284 00:15:29,235 --> 00:15:32,071 and I will be two minutes. 285 00:15:38,079 --> 00:15:40,178 Yes! 286 00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,281 Okay... 287 00:15:52,192 --> 00:15:53,785 Yes. 288 00:15:57,593 --> 00:15:59,428 Yes! 289 00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:05,500 Because you have been so good to me and Mommy this year, 290 00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:09,471 we decided that you could have one gift... 291 00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:11,308 early! 292 00:16:11,343 --> 00:16:13,607 Really? 293 00:16:17,712 --> 00:16:19,778 What is it? 294 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:25,388 That is a very special walkie-talkie. 295 00:16:25,423 --> 00:16:26,818 It's magic. 296 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,193 - Magic? - Mm-hmm. 297 00:16:28,228 --> 00:16:30,492 What you got right there 298 00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:32,923 is a direct hotline to Santa Claus himself. 299 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,596 - I can talk to Santa? - Oh, yeah. 300 00:16:35,631 --> 00:16:39,402 It's just like writing him a letter... but better. 301 00:16:39,437 --> 00:16:40,568 Mm-hmm. 302 00:16:40,603 --> 00:16:43,340 Now, the only thing is, 303 00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,771 he might not have time to answer you. 304 00:16:45,806 --> 00:16:47,575 He's delivering a lot of presents tonight. 305 00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,181 Mm-hmm. 306 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,546 But he'll hear everything you want to say to him. 307 00:16:58,082 --> 00:16:59,884 Hello, Santa? 308 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:03,360 This is Trudy Lightstone. 309 00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:05,527 I hope you're having a nice night. 310 00:17:05,562 --> 00:17:07,694 Mm. 311 00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:12,171 It's really cold tonight, so don't forget your mittens. 312 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,571 So, I wanted to tell you, Santa, 313 00:17:16,606 --> 00:17:18,573 I was extra good this year, 314 00:17:18,608 --> 00:17:22,280 so I wrote a big list for you with all the stuff I wanted. 315 00:17:23,679 --> 00:17:25,778 But then... 316 00:17:25,813 --> 00:17:29,089 then I realized I don't need any of that. 317 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:33,621 I really only want one present for Christmas. 318 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:38,989 I want Mommy and Daddy to make up 319 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,299 so we can be a family again. 320 00:17:42,599 --> 00:17:44,401 Okay. 321 00:17:44,436 --> 00:17:46,370 Good night, Santa. 322 00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:49,769 Good night, Mr. Bunny. 323 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:03,948 Which one of you did that? 324 00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:06,786 You can't go two seconds without 325 00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:08,524 crapping on the roof like a bunch of pigeons? 326 00:18:10,231 --> 00:18:13,133 So unprofessional. 327 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:18,501 You know, Rudolph will never do this crap. 328 00:18:31,747 --> 00:18:33,384 Hmm. 329 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,489 Mmm. 330 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,366 Mmm, mmm. 331 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,732 Homemade. 332 00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:53,239 Mmm. 333 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,036 Ugh. 334 00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,543 Skim. 335 00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:12,555 Oh, yeah. 336 00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:14,524 That's the stuff. 337 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,926 Mmm. 338 00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:23,863 DuBoi... 339 00:19:23,898 --> 00:19:26,866 - On some prewar shit right there. - 340 00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:29,132 Good shit. 341 00:19:40,915 --> 00:19:42,420 Mmm. 342 00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:44,015 That pairs well. 343 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,655 What do we have here? 344 00:20:02,937 --> 00:20:04,772 Oh, yeah. 345 00:20:04,807 --> 00:20:06,675 That's the stuff. 346 00:20:15,818 --> 00:20:18,885 You know, uh... 347 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,888 Christmas is all right, 348 00:20:21,923 --> 00:20:25,298 but you Americans don't celebrate my favorite holiday. 349 00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:28,092 Oh, yeah? What? 350 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,632 Boxing Day. 351 00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,766 Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here, 352 00:21:04,801 --> 00:21:06,471 live streaming the dream, you know. 353 00:21:06,506 --> 00:21:08,968 They say the richest man... 354 00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:11,872 Say goodbye. 355 00:21:11,907 --> 00:21:13,643 And if you... 356 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,812 Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick. 357 00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:19,649 Damn it! 358 00:21:19,684 --> 00:21:22,113 When he was small, I begged you to beat him. 359 00:21:39,737 --> 00:21:41,704 Hey. Merry Christmas. 360 00:21:41,739 --> 00:21:43,541 Or should I say "happy holidays" now? 361 00:21:43,576 --> 00:21:45,576 Right? I mean, it's like, people, make up your minds. 362 00:21:45,611 --> 00:21:47,677 - You know what I'm saying? - Can I help you? 363 00:21:47,712 --> 00:21:49,646 Oh, yeah. I sure hope so. See, uh, 364 00:21:49,681 --> 00:21:51,417 my car broke down a little ways... 365 00:21:51,452 --> 00:21:53,177 Out here? This is a private road. 366 00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:55,179 You're telling me. 367 00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:57,313 It's the first place I've seen for miles. 368 00:21:57,348 --> 00:21:58,688 I think I got frostbite. 369 00:21:58,723 --> 00:22:00,085 Where the hell am I, anyway? 370 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:01,757 G.T. Lightstone family compound. 371 00:22:01,792 --> 00:22:03,363 I'll call you a tow. 372 00:22:12,704 --> 00:22:14,671 All right, revelers. 373 00:22:14,706 --> 00:22:16,409 Time to steal Christmas. 374 00:22:16,444 --> 00:22:17,707 Sound off. 375 00:22:17,742 --> 00:22:19,203 Jingle. Check. 376 00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:20,908 Peppermint. Check. 377 00:22:20,943 --> 00:22:22,371 Sugarplum. Check. 378 00:22:22,406 --> 00:22:25,341 Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up. 379 00:22:25,376 --> 00:22:27,343 Candy Cane. Check. 380 00:22:27,378 --> 00:22:29,884 - Go for Frosty. - Go for Tinsel. 381 00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:31,754 Go for Gingerbread. 382 00:22:31,789 --> 00:22:34,460 Are we gonna use these stupid code names all night? 383 00:22:34,495 --> 00:22:36,088 'Tis the season. 384 00:22:36,123 --> 00:22:39,795 Welcome to your worst Christmas ever. 385 00:22:39,830 --> 00:22:43,095 Trudy loves seeing Santa at the mall. 386 00:22:44,131 --> 00:22:45,867 She loves going with her father. 387 00:22:45,902 --> 00:22:47,440 And you should've taken her yesterday, 388 00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:48,903 like you do every Christmas, 389 00:22:48,938 --> 00:22:50,542 but we didn't even hear from you. 390 00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:51,939 Mom put me on a special project. 391 00:22:51,974 --> 00:22:53,479 - It's complicated. - But it's not, 392 00:22:53,514 --> 00:22:55,580 because it keeps happening over and over. 393 00:22:55,615 --> 00:22:57,846 -Your mother forcing herself between us. -You're right. 394 00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:04,985 What if we could give Trudy her Christmas wish? 395 00:23:05,020 --> 00:23:07,119 You're trying to win me back 396 00:23:07,154 --> 00:23:09,726 with a romantic weekend at your mother's? 397 00:23:09,761 --> 00:23:12,927 What if things really changed this time? 398 00:23:14,832 --> 00:23:17,129 We got out from under my mother's thumb. 399 00:23:17,164 --> 00:23:19,131 We'll walk away. 400 00:23:19,166 --> 00:23:21,540 From the company, the family. 401 00:23:24,435 --> 00:23:25,973 Tonight. 402 00:23:26,976 --> 00:23:28,338 What are you up to? 403 00:24:13,759 --> 00:24:15,055 Let's go. 404 00:24:15,090 --> 00:24:17,453 We need to get you out of here. 405 00:24:17,488 --> 00:24:19,389 Mommy, where are you going? 406 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:21,127 - She's going for the panic room! - What? 407 00:24:21,162 --> 00:24:22,568 - Yes. Go, Bertrude. - Without us? 408 00:24:28,499 --> 00:24:30,367 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 409 00:24:52,193 --> 00:24:54,094 There isn't room for all of us. 410 00:24:54,129 --> 00:24:55,832 She can fit at least two of us. Mom, take me. 411 00:24:55,867 --> 00:24:57,768 - Mom! - Oh. Yeah. 412 00:24:57,803 --> 00:24:59,528 M-Mom, can Bert come, too? 413 00:25:02,137 --> 00:25:03,433 Okay. Move it or lose it, son. 414 00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:05,072 - Move it! - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 415 00:25:05,107 --> 00:25:07,239 You're supposed to protect us. 416 00:25:07,274 --> 00:25:08,614 We protect the primary asset. 417 00:25:12,785 --> 00:25:14,048 Who the hell are you? 418 00:25:14,083 --> 00:25:16,754 You can call me Mr. Scrooge. 419 00:25:17,724 --> 00:25:18,954 Hilarious. 420 00:25:18,989 --> 00:25:20,384 Get him. 421 00:25:29,098 --> 00:25:31,329 Bah humbug, motherfucker. 422 00:25:40,846 --> 00:25:42,912 Hey. Step aside. 423 00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:46,817 Tinsel, Peppermint, sweep upstairs. 424 00:25:46,852 --> 00:25:48,852 I want all the Lightstones together. 425 00:25:49,822 --> 00:25:51,481 Kill anybody else you find. 426 00:26:01,702 --> 00:26:04,461 Fuck. Fuck, fuck. 427 00:26:05,464 --> 00:26:07,673 Trudy, honey, we got to go. 428 00:26:08,841 --> 00:26:10,500 Wake up, honey. Wake up. 429 00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:13,008 Maybe we can get out the back by the servants' stairs. 430 00:26:20,116 --> 00:26:22,446 Oh, come on. Not now. Not now. 431 00:26:23,614 --> 00:26:25,581 Fuck! Fuck! 432 00:26:25,616 --> 00:26:27,253 Mistletoe, gingerbread. 433 00:26:51,312 --> 00:26:52,344 Hey! 434 00:26:55,184 --> 00:26:56,480 Oh. Oh. 435 00:26:56,515 --> 00:26:58,020 Hi. 436 00:26:58,055 --> 00:27:00,616 You got me. 437 00:27:00,651 --> 00:27:03,058 I don't want any trouble, okay? 438 00:27:03,093 --> 00:27:04,895 Downstairs. Now. 439 00:27:04,930 --> 00:27:08,558 Look, mister, I don't want to get involved. 440 00:27:08,593 --> 00:27:10,835 I just... I just have a job to do. 441 00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:12,331 Okay? That's it. 442 00:27:12,366 --> 00:27:14,905 I'm just gonna take my bag, 443 00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:17,468 and I'm just gonna scooch up that chimney. 444 00:27:19,109 --> 00:27:20,746 Enough talk. Let's go. 445 00:27:21,749 --> 00:27:23,375 You don't want to do this. 446 00:27:23,410 --> 00:27:24,640 What? This? 447 00:27:26,347 --> 00:27:27,720 Now, move! 448 00:27:27,755 --> 00:27:29,678 Are you deaf? 449 00:27:29,713 --> 00:27:31,724 Fucking move! 450 00:27:42,462 --> 00:27:44,330 No, no, no. 451 00:27:44,365 --> 00:27:47,498 No! Wait! 452 00:27:47,533 --> 00:27:48,939 Wait. 453 00:27:48,974 --> 00:27:50,501 Wait! Don't go! 454 00:27:50,536 --> 00:27:52,404 Come back! 455 00:29:07,481 --> 00:29:09,151 Oh, fuck! 456 00:29:33,309 --> 00:29:34,880 Oh, shit. 457 00:29:56,266 --> 00:29:59,872 Damn chickenshit reindeer leave me here to die. 458 00:30:08,608 --> 00:30:11,675 ♪ Violent night ♪ 459 00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:14,744 ♪ Gory night ♪ 460 00:30:14,779 --> 00:30:17,219 ♪ All is calm ♪ 461 00:30:17,254 --> 00:30:21,058 ♪ If all doesn't want to get shot in the fucking head. ♪ 462 00:30:22,061 --> 00:30:23,489 Cute. 463 00:30:23,524 --> 00:30:26,426 Do you have any idea who you're fucking with? 464 00:30:30,102 --> 00:30:32,938 I know exactly who I'm fucking with. 465 00:30:32,973 --> 00:30:34,830 Oh, wait, wait. Did you actually think 466 00:30:34,865 --> 00:30:36,502 that I spent months 467 00:30:36,537 --> 00:30:39,109 planning a complex break-in to the most secure 468 00:30:39,144 --> 00:30:40,869 private residence in the country 469 00:30:40,904 --> 00:30:42,574 and I didn't know who lived here? 470 00:30:42,609 --> 00:30:44,048 Well, you're wrong. 471 00:30:44,083 --> 00:30:47,018 'Cause your staff are dead. 472 00:30:47,053 --> 00:30:49,185 Your security are dead. 473 00:30:49,220 --> 00:30:52,320 Now, sit down and shut the fuck up! 474 00:31:20,449 --> 00:31:22,482 Oh, fuck. 475 00:31:25,586 --> 00:31:26,992 We planned it. It's all right. 476 00:31:27,027 --> 00:31:28,488 It'll be solved in a couple minutes. 477 00:31:28,523 --> 00:31:30,160 Better be solved. 478 00:31:30,195 --> 00:31:32,426 So much like a scene from my movie Dark Ransom. 479 00:31:32,461 --> 00:31:33,790 Oh, my God. 480 00:31:35,002 --> 00:31:36,595 If they didn't have guns, 481 00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,630 I could take out three, maybe four of them. 482 00:31:38,665 --> 00:31:40,566 Try all of them. 483 00:31:40,601 --> 00:31:43,305 Ew, Mom. Yuck. 484 00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:45,307 If you'd really done your research, you'd know 485 00:31:45,342 --> 00:31:47,837 that my brother Rory was kidnapped in the '70s. 486 00:31:48,939 --> 00:31:51,445 But my father never called the police. 487 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,085 Dad sent in our own private extraction team, 488 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,517 and Rory was home safe and sound a week later. 489 00:31:57,552 --> 00:32:01,125 And the kidnappers were never found. 490 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,028 If you get me. 491 00:32:04,691 --> 00:32:06,295 I know. 492 00:32:06,330 --> 00:32:09,166 I know all about your extraction team 493 00:32:09,201 --> 00:32:11,036 that you affectionately call "the Kill Squad" 494 00:32:11,071 --> 00:32:13,038 behind closed doors. 495 00:32:13,073 --> 00:32:14,930 I also know that they're on their way 496 00:32:14,965 --> 00:32:16,932 and how long it's gonna take 'em to get here. 497 00:32:16,967 --> 00:32:19,605 I even know their credit ratings and their dick sizes. 498 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,442 If you get me. 499 00:32:21,477 --> 00:32:23,609 Then you should also know you're already dead. 500 00:32:23,644 --> 00:32:25,380 We don't do ransoms. 501 00:32:25,415 --> 00:32:27,943 Again, I know. I know. 502 00:32:27,978 --> 00:32:29,945 See, I know a lot, Gertrude. 503 00:32:29,980 --> 00:32:31,881 I really do. 504 00:32:31,916 --> 00:32:34,983 Like the fact that you have 300 million in U.S. dollars 505 00:32:35,018 --> 00:32:37,161 sitting in your personal vault downstairs. 506 00:32:37,196 --> 00:32:39,229 - The fuck? - That's right. 507 00:32:39,264 --> 00:32:42,166 300 million that the U.S. government 508 00:32:42,201 --> 00:32:45,499 gave Lightstone to quietly distribute in the Middle East 509 00:32:45,534 --> 00:32:47,336 to all the worst people, 510 00:32:47,371 --> 00:32:51,538 to grease the wheels and keep that sweet oil flowing. 511 00:32:51,573 --> 00:32:56,004 300 million that... oops... Disappeared in the fog of war. 512 00:32:56,039 --> 00:32:59,007 Except it didn't really disappear, did it, Gerty? 513 00:32:59,042 --> 00:33:00,415 'Cause you stole it. 514 00:33:00,450 --> 00:33:01,911 Did you know about this? 515 00:33:01,946 --> 00:33:03,517 Man, this family. 516 00:33:03,552 --> 00:33:06,718 This moneygrubbing family. 517 00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:08,555 Clinging desperately to your wealth, 518 00:33:08,590 --> 00:33:10,854 when your poor employees don't even have enough coal 519 00:33:10,889 --> 00:33:12,922 to keep Tiny Tim warm. 520 00:33:12,957 --> 00:33:15,892 What is it with you and all this Christmas shit? 521 00:33:15,927 --> 00:33:17,894 Talk all you want. 522 00:33:17,929 --> 00:33:19,698 You'll never get in the vault. 523 00:33:19,733 --> 00:33:23,031 Oh, oh, oh, because when you-you hit the panic button, 524 00:33:23,066 --> 00:33:24,868 it reset the combination? 525 00:33:24,903 --> 00:33:28,278 I keep telling you, I know. 526 00:33:33,483 --> 00:33:36,286 This is what breaking into a vault has turned into? 527 00:33:36,321 --> 00:33:40,917 Remember when you just had to drill holes and blow shit up? 528 00:33:40,952 --> 00:33:42,457 I don't know, maybe I'm getting old, 529 00:33:42,492 --> 00:33:44,096 but there was something romantic about that. 530 00:33:44,131 --> 00:33:46,197 Boss, you copy? 531 00:33:46,232 --> 00:33:48,133 I'm kind of busy here. 532 00:33:48,168 --> 00:33:50,498 You're gonna want to see this. 533 00:33:59,905 --> 00:34:01,707 Maybe he fell. 534 00:34:01,742 --> 00:34:03,247 You rappel down buildings with him. 535 00:34:03,282 --> 00:34:05,282 You gonna tell me he just fell out a window? 536 00:34:06,351 --> 00:34:08,318 All right, look lively, gang. 537 00:34:08,353 --> 00:34:10,012 We got a gopher. 538 00:34:25,601 --> 00:34:27,172 You know what? 539 00:34:27,207 --> 00:34:31,143 Um, I think Mr. Bunny wants to go to sleep. 540 00:34:31,178 --> 00:34:33,101 So, let's tuck him in. 541 00:34:33,136 --> 00:34:34,674 Okay? 542 00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:37,545 It's gonna be okay. 543 00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:54,023 Hello? Santa? 544 00:34:54,058 --> 00:34:56,025 Are you there? 545 00:35:01,835 --> 00:35:03,505 Shit. 546 00:35:07,907 --> 00:35:10,446 This is Candy Cane at checkpoint three. 547 00:35:10,481 --> 00:35:12,041 Oh, shit. 548 00:35:12,076 --> 00:35:13,812 Shit. Shit. Shit. 549 00:35:17,048 --> 00:35:18,916 Video game. 550 00:35:20,150 --> 00:35:21,523 Video game. 551 00:35:21,558 --> 00:35:23,822 Didn't anybody ask for a bat or a sword 552 00:35:23,857 --> 00:35:26,726 or Molotov cocktails? 553 00:35:35,374 --> 00:35:37,033 Wait. 554 00:35:51,951 --> 00:35:53,753 Mommy, I love you. 555 00:35:54,954 --> 00:35:57,020 Poetry book. 556 00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:59,363 Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck! 557 00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:04,830 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 558 00:36:04,865 --> 00:36:07,437 - ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ - ♪ Mamacita ♪ 559 00:36:07,472 --> 00:36:09,604 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 560 00:36:09,639 --> 00:36:12,035 - ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪ 561 00:36:13,577 --> 00:36:15,511 Safety's on, dipshit. 562 00:36:17,317 --> 00:36:20,516 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 563 00:36:20,551 --> 00:36:22,947 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 564 00:36:22,982 --> 00:36:24,520 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 565 00:36:24,555 --> 00:36:26,258 ♪ I look for him because ♪ 566 00:36:26,293 --> 00:36:28,183 Wait. Hang on. Hang on. 567 00:36:28,218 --> 00:36:29,690 ♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪ 568 00:36:29,725 --> 00:36:32,121 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look. 569 00:36:32,156 --> 00:36:33,628 I don't want to kill you. 570 00:36:37,634 --> 00:36:41,372 Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard. 571 00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,275 Eh? 572 00:36:43,937 --> 00:36:46,201 Santa... 573 00:36:46,236 --> 00:36:47,972 I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off. 574 00:36:52,649 --> 00:36:55,419 ♪ I hope he won't forget to crack his castanets ♪ 575 00:36:55,454 --> 00:36:59,082 ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 576 00:36:59,117 --> 00:37:01,590 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪ 577 00:37:01,625 --> 00:37:03,460 Oh, shit. 578 00:37:06,828 --> 00:37:09,301 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 579 00:37:09,336 --> 00:37:11,501 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 580 00:37:13,296 --> 00:37:16,099 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 581 00:37:16,134 --> 00:37:17,837 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 582 00:37:17,872 --> 00:37:19,575 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 583 00:37:19,610 --> 00:37:21,478 ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 584 00:37:30,984 --> 00:37:32,456 ♪ I hope he won't forget ♪ 585 00:37:32,491 --> 00:37:34,183 ♪ To crack his castanets ♪ 586 00:37:34,218 --> 00:37:38,022 ♪ And to his reindeer say ♪ 587 00:37:38,057 --> 00:37:41,993 ♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen, oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪ 588 00:37:42,028 --> 00:37:45,931 ♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪ 589 00:37:45,966 --> 00:37:48,868 - ♪ Mamacita ♪ - ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 590 00:37:48,903 --> 00:37:51,343 ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪ 591 00:37:51,378 --> 00:37:52,542 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 592 00:37:52,577 --> 00:37:54,511 ♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪ 593 00:37:54,546 --> 00:37:56,447 ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪ 594 00:37:56,482 --> 00:37:59,846 - ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ - ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 595 00:37:59,881 --> 00:38:02,783 ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ 596 00:38:02,818 --> 00:38:04,620 ♪ Mamacita ♪ 597 00:38:04,655 --> 00:38:06,655 - ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪ - ♪ Mamacita. ♪ 598 00:38:48,259 --> 00:38:50,666 Ah, God. 599 00:38:50,701 --> 00:38:52,294 Whew. 600 00:38:53,363 --> 00:38:56,540 Whew. Whew. 601 00:38:56,575 --> 00:38:58,366 This is Candy Cane checking in. 602 00:38:58,401 --> 00:39:00,269 Compound is clear and secured. 603 00:39:02,482 --> 00:39:04,273 Copy. What's the status on the Kill Squad? 604 00:39:06,145 --> 00:39:08,046 Kill Squad won't be here for two hours. 605 00:39:08,081 --> 00:39:10,686 So we're doing good. The outer seal's already been breached. 606 00:39:10,721 --> 00:39:13,216 Is there a 911 thing on here? 607 00:39:13,251 --> 00:39:15,790 My... 608 00:39:15,825 --> 00:39:17,759 Am I doing that correct? 609 00:39:17,794 --> 00:39:19,189 Hello? 610 00:39:19,224 --> 00:39:21,125 Hello, can anybody hear me? 611 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,600 Can you hear me, Santa? 612 00:39:25,428 --> 00:39:26,735 Hello? 613 00:39:26,770 --> 00:39:28,231 Santa? 614 00:39:31,434 --> 00:39:33,137 Yeah, this is Santa. 615 00:39:36,109 --> 00:39:38,450 I hope I'm not bothering you. 616 00:39:40,146 --> 00:39:42,751 Daddy said you were very busy tonight. 617 00:39:44,689 --> 00:39:46,557 I'm... 618 00:39:46,592 --> 00:39:48,790 I'm on a break. 619 00:39:48,825 --> 00:39:50,858 Who-who am I speaking to? 620 00:39:53,357 --> 00:39:55,423 My name is Trudy Lightstone, 621 00:39:55,458 --> 00:39:58,767 and I've been very good this year. 622 00:39:58,802 --> 00:40:00,670 Trudy... 623 00:40:02,971 --> 00:40:04,839 Trudy Lightstone. 624 00:40:13,883 --> 00:40:16,147 Yeah, Trudy. 625 00:40:16,182 --> 00:40:18,622 You're on my nice list. 626 00:40:18,657 --> 00:40:20,822 You've been a very good girl this year. 627 00:40:22,485 --> 00:40:24,529 Where are you now, Trudy? 628 00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:28,830 I'm in a big room with all my relatives. 629 00:40:28,865 --> 00:40:32,064 There's two bad men with guns watching us. 630 00:40:34,838 --> 00:40:36,673 Oh, no. Six left. 631 00:40:36,708 --> 00:40:38,642 Are you gonna help us, Santa? 632 00:40:40,041 --> 00:40:42,008 Yeah. Of course I'm gonna help you. 633 00:40:42,043 --> 00:40:44,879 I'm gonna... I'm gonna get you out of there. 634 00:40:44,914 --> 00:40:48,179 Take all these bad guys on my naughty list... 635 00:40:49,248 --> 00:40:51,853 I'm gonna take a lump of coal, 636 00:40:51,888 --> 00:40:55,560 each and every one of them, and shove it straight up... 637 00:40:55,595 --> 00:40:56,693 The ass. 638 00:40:59,731 --> 00:41:01,390 Well, I mean, come on, sweetie. 639 00:41:01,425 --> 00:41:04,096 We want to keep you on the nice list, you know. 640 00:41:05,704 --> 00:41:08,034 Sorry. Can I say "butthole," then? 641 00:41:09,037 --> 00:41:10,366 I mean, it's borderline. 642 00:41:10,401 --> 00:41:12,137 How about "anus"? 643 00:41:12,172 --> 00:41:16,548 Technically, yes, uh, "anus" is the tech... 644 00:41:16,583 --> 00:41:18,341 Okay, look, uh, Tru... uh, Trudy. 645 00:41:18,376 --> 00:41:21,047 I got to call for help, and the phone lines are down. 646 00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:23,654 You probably know this house better than anybody. 647 00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:25,513 You got any suggestions? 648 00:41:25,548 --> 00:41:27,086 I have an idea. 649 00:41:29,695 --> 00:41:32,091 All right, you're telling me there's a goddamn Santa Claus 650 00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,796 running around here? 651 00:41:37,263 --> 00:41:39,263 Okay, well, he looks jolly as fuck, 652 00:41:39,298 --> 00:41:40,935 but who the hell is he? 653 00:41:40,970 --> 00:41:42,937 There's no Santa listed on the employee manifest. 654 00:41:42,972 --> 00:41:44,400 Yeah, there's more. 655 00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:46,039 Frosty hasn't checked in. I can't reach him. 656 00:41:46,074 --> 00:41:47,942 All right, keep trying. 657 00:41:50,617 --> 00:41:52,243 All right, it's official. 658 00:41:52,278 --> 00:41:54,113 We got a gopher on the loose, and he's dangerous. 659 00:41:54,148 --> 00:41:55,411 Watch your backs. 660 00:42:00,418 --> 00:42:03,089 Al? Al? 661 00:42:09,328 --> 00:42:11,163 Oh, shit. 662 00:42:19,008 --> 00:42:20,810 Oh, shit! 663 00:42:20,845 --> 00:42:23,813 Frosty, what's your status? 664 00:42:27,346 --> 00:42:29,412 Frosty, sound off. 665 00:42:30,415 --> 00:42:33,284 Uh, Frosty? 666 00:42:34,617 --> 00:42:36,155 Is-is that, uh... 667 00:42:36,190 --> 00:42:38,091 is that the naughty guy I met in the basement? 668 00:42:38,126 --> 00:42:39,961 Your-your friend is dead. 669 00:42:39,996 --> 00:42:43,063 Uh, he got a star in his face, then his head caught on fire. 670 00:42:43,098 --> 00:42:44,933 It's a long story. 671 00:42:44,968 --> 00:42:47,738 Oh. 672 00:42:47,773 --> 00:42:49,938 Is this... is this our Santy? 673 00:42:49,973 --> 00:42:52,842 Is this our... our Santy Claus? 674 00:42:52,877 --> 00:42:54,338 Yeah, it is. 675 00:42:55,341 --> 00:42:57,176 To whom am I speaking? 676 00:42:57,211 --> 00:42:59,178 Well, for tonight, I'm Mr. Scrooge. 677 00:42:59,213 --> 00:43:03,116 Now, what is it that you want exactly, Santa? 678 00:43:03,151 --> 00:43:05,690 I want you to put down your weapons, 679 00:43:05,725 --> 00:43:08,660 I want you to let this family go, 680 00:43:08,695 --> 00:43:10,519 and then I want to find my reindeer, 681 00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:12,697 and I want to continue delivering my presents. 682 00:43:15,625 --> 00:43:17,262 Are you fucking with me? 683 00:43:17,297 --> 00:43:19,627 All right, who the hell are you really, huh? 684 00:43:19,662 --> 00:43:22,168 Some security guard who's watched too many action flicks? 685 00:43:22,203 --> 00:43:24,775 Some loser ex-cop stuck in a mall 686 00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:26,810 playing dress-up with fat kids pissing on your lap? 687 00:43:26,845 --> 00:43:28,339 Stop me when I get it right. 688 00:43:28,374 --> 00:43:30,440 It's a little more complicated than that. 689 00:43:30,475 --> 00:43:32,211 Not to me, it's not. 690 00:43:32,246 --> 00:43:34,213 'Cause I want to make it my personal mission, 691 00:43:34,248 --> 00:43:38,646 my holiday to-do list, to find you and to end you 692 00:43:38,681 --> 00:43:42,221 and to wipe my ass with you and this whole fucking holiday. 693 00:43:42,256 --> 00:43:44,894 That's what I want for Christmas, Santa. 694 00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:49,063 That is a terrible thing to want for Christmas. 695 00:43:49,098 --> 00:43:52,561 But maybe you and I should discuss that in person. 696 00:43:53,938 --> 00:43:56,499 Santa Claus is coming to town. 697 00:44:08,018 --> 00:44:09,347 Shit. 698 00:44:19,392 --> 00:44:20,765 All right, who did you hire 699 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,328 to play Santa at your Christmas party, huh? 700 00:44:23,363 --> 00:44:25,396 I said, who's playing Santa 701 00:44:25,431 --> 00:44:26,936 at your fucked-up Christmas party? 702 00:44:26,971 --> 00:44:29,873 I didn't hire a Santa. 703 00:44:29,908 --> 00:44:32,568 I never have a Santa. It's tacky. 704 00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:34,042 So, who is he? 705 00:44:34,077 --> 00:44:36,847 ♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride... ♪ 706 00:44:36,882 --> 00:44:39,674 Huh? Who is he? 707 00:44:39,709 --> 00:44:41,379 Somebody better start talking, 708 00:44:41,414 --> 00:44:44,448 or I'm gonna bash her brains in with this... 709 00:44:44,483 --> 00:44:48,727 Damn, Gertrude. You really got a thing for nutcrackers, huh? 710 00:44:50,225 --> 00:44:54,260 So, I'm gonna torture everyone in your family 711 00:44:54,295 --> 00:44:57,098 until you tell me who's running around your mansion 712 00:44:57,133 --> 00:44:59,804 playing Santa and fucking with my shit. 713 00:44:59,839 --> 00:45:01,806 And who should I pick first? 714 00:45:01,841 --> 00:45:03,302 Should I go by age? 715 00:45:03,337 --> 00:45:04,908 Shh. 716 00:45:04,943 --> 00:45:06,734 Or should I go by IQ? 717 00:45:06,769 --> 00:45:10,078 Pick Jason. He's my mom's favorite. 718 00:45:10,113 --> 00:45:12,113 - Yep. Him. - The one in the sweater. 719 00:45:12,148 --> 00:45:14,577 All right. Jason Lightstone it is. 720 00:45:14,612 --> 00:45:15,919 - The number one son. - No. 721 00:45:15,954 --> 00:45:17,283 Wait, wait, wait. No, we don't need... 722 00:45:17,318 --> 00:45:18,823 We don't need to do that. No, it's okay. 723 00:45:18,858 --> 00:45:20,792 No. No, no, no. We don't need to do this. 724 00:45:20,827 --> 00:45:22,057 No. No, no, no, no. 725 00:45:22,092 --> 00:45:23,652 Don't, don't, don't. 726 00:45:23,687 --> 00:45:26,061 - No, don't... Put it... - Don't... No. - 727 00:45:26,096 --> 00:45:28,063 - No, no, no, no. No, no. - Give me this fucking... 728 00:45:37,107 --> 00:45:39,943 I'm telling you, no one hired a Santa. 729 00:45:39,978 --> 00:45:41,472 All right, all right, all right. You're right. 730 00:45:41,507 --> 00:45:42,506 You're right. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. 731 00:45:42,541 --> 00:45:44,673 What are we doing here? Come on. 732 00:45:44,708 --> 00:45:47,775 What are we, amateurs? We're half-assing this. 733 00:45:47,810 --> 00:45:50,712 Come on. It's not called a finger cracker. 734 00:45:51,990 --> 00:45:53,924 Okay, Candy Cane. 735 00:45:53,959 --> 00:45:55,354 Stick one of his bozaks in there. 736 00:45:55,389 --> 00:45:56,652 I'm not touching his balls. 737 00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:58,291 What, are you a princess all of a sudden? 738 00:45:58,326 --> 00:46:00,095 I've seen you scoop out brains before. 739 00:46:00,130 --> 00:46:01,360 You want me to scoop his brains out, 740 00:46:01,395 --> 00:46:02,790 I'll scoop his brains out right now, 741 00:46:02,825 --> 00:46:04,033 but I'm not touching his junk. 742 00:46:04,068 --> 00:46:05,463 I don't care who does it. 743 00:46:05,498 --> 00:46:07,036 I better be looking at flat balls, 744 00:46:07,071 --> 00:46:08,334 like, in three seconds. 745 00:46:08,369 --> 00:46:10,798 I'll do it. 746 00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:12,173 Krampus. Perfect. 747 00:46:12,208 --> 00:46:13,669 Oh, not that guy. Not that guy. 748 00:46:13,704 --> 00:46:15,044 That's what I love about sociopaths. 749 00:46:15,079 --> 00:46:16,375 Always up for trying new things. 750 00:46:16,410 --> 00:46:17,805 You don't need to do this, okay? 751 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,708 No, it's all right. Um... Oh, no. 752 00:46:19,743 --> 00:46:22,150 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 753 00:46:22,185 --> 00:46:24,548 Oh, God. Oh, my God. 754 00:46:26,321 --> 00:46:27,782 Put your nuts in. 755 00:46:27,817 --> 00:46:29,289 Yummy, yummy. 756 00:46:29,324 --> 00:46:31,962 Stop hurting my daddy... 757 00:46:31,997 --> 00:46:34,261 or Santa will get mad. 758 00:46:35,264 --> 00:46:37,528 Ah, what a cutie. 759 00:46:37,563 --> 00:46:39,629 So, what do we know about Santa, little one? 760 00:46:39,664 --> 00:46:41,301 She doesn't know anything about Santa. 761 00:46:42,403 --> 00:46:44,040 He wasn't asking you. 762 00:46:44,075 --> 00:46:46,570 She's playing make-believe. 763 00:46:46,605 --> 00:46:48,913 She's pretending to talk to Santa. 764 00:46:48,948 --> 00:46:50,915 It's not pretend. Santa's my friend, 765 00:46:50,950 --> 00:46:52,543 and he said he's going to save us. 766 00:46:52,578 --> 00:46:53,885 No. 767 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,217 - And beat you up. - Oh, is he? 768 00:46:56,252 --> 00:46:58,648 I bet he'd come out of hiding if you asked him to, huh? 769 00:46:58,683 --> 00:47:00,386 What do you say you come with me 770 00:47:00,421 --> 00:47:02,421 -and we play a little game with him, huh? -No, no, no. 771 00:47:02,456 --> 00:47:03,928 Trudy, come on. Tell him the truth now. 772 00:47:03,963 --> 00:47:05,655 - You aren't talking to Santa. - Yes, I am. 773 00:47:05,690 --> 00:47:07,162 No, you're not. Come on, now. 774 00:47:07,197 --> 00:47:09,659 -Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real! 775 00:47:17,977 --> 00:47:19,702 I'm sorry, honey. 776 00:47:20,903 --> 00:47:22,870 Santa's just a thing adults tell kids 777 00:47:22,905 --> 00:47:24,949 to make them feel better, okay? 778 00:47:27,217 --> 00:47:29,283 Your mommy and I give you the presents, 779 00:47:29,318 --> 00:47:31,285 and we say they're from Santa. 780 00:47:32,552 --> 00:47:34,024 He's not coming to save us. 781 00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:36,257 He doesn't exist. 782 00:47:36,292 --> 00:47:38,589 It's all made-up. 783 00:47:40,263 --> 00:47:42,230 - Really? - Aw. 784 00:47:42,265 --> 00:47:45,035 What a way to find out that there's no Santa. 785 00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,070 Hey, let's come back Easter and ruin the Easter Bunny 786 00:47:47,105 --> 00:47:49,039 for her, too, huh? 787 00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:50,568 - Trudy! - Come back here! 788 00:47:50,603 --> 00:47:52,108 - Stop her! - Trudy! -Hey! 789 00:47:52,143 --> 00:47:53,472 You idiots, stay at your posts. 790 00:47:53,507 --> 00:47:54,803 Trudy! 791 00:47:54,838 --> 00:47:57,014 I'll find this little brat. 792 00:49:03,379 --> 00:49:04,675 Okay. 793 00:49:33,409 --> 00:49:36,377 Santa. Santa. 794 00:49:36,412 --> 00:49:38,247 Santa! 795 00:49:39,844 --> 00:49:41,679 This is Trudy. 796 00:49:42,682 --> 00:49:45,683 Are you okay, Santa? 797 00:49:47,753 --> 00:49:49,225 Hi. Hey. 798 00:49:49,260 --> 00:49:51,018 Are you okay? 799 00:49:51,053 --> 00:49:53,097 I'm good. Uh... 800 00:49:53,132 --> 00:49:55,330 I was just wrapping something up. 801 00:49:55,365 --> 00:49:57,563 I ran away and hid in the attic. 802 00:49:57,598 --> 00:50:00,896 Okay. If you're safe... 803 00:50:00,931 --> 00:50:03,899 uh, just stay there and, uh, stay quiet, all right? 804 00:50:03,934 --> 00:50:08,706 Okay. I can set up booby traps, like in Home Alone. 805 00:50:08,741 --> 00:50:10,246 Okay, I don't know what that means, 806 00:50:10,281 --> 00:50:11,907 but, uh, yeah, do that. 807 00:50:11,942 --> 00:50:13,810 Just do it quietly. 808 00:50:15,286 --> 00:50:17,253 Are you really Santa? 809 00:50:21,083 --> 00:50:23,094 Of course I am, sweetheart. 810 00:50:24,229 --> 00:50:26,790 My daddy says there isn't any Santa. 811 00:50:28,596 --> 00:50:31,564 He says parents just tell their kids that Santa's real 812 00:50:31,599 --> 00:50:33,203 to make them feel better. 813 00:50:33,238 --> 00:50:36,030 He said they give us presents 814 00:50:36,065 --> 00:50:38,406 and say they're from Santa. 815 00:50:38,441 --> 00:50:40,573 Yeah. 816 00:50:40,608 --> 00:50:42,872 Yeah, a lot of parents say that. 817 00:50:42,907 --> 00:50:46,678 But I still bring presents to kids that need me. 818 00:50:48,077 --> 00:50:50,187 Kids who really believe. 819 00:50:51,751 --> 00:50:54,620 How do you know who really needs you? 820 00:50:54,655 --> 00:50:56,886 Christmas magic. 821 00:50:56,921 --> 00:50:58,987 I'm not really sure how it works. 822 00:51:06,799 --> 00:51:09,140 But, uh... 823 00:51:11,375 --> 00:51:14,475 I remember, um... 824 00:51:14,510 --> 00:51:16,411 when Trudy Lightstone wrote to me. 825 00:51:16,446 --> 00:51:18,908 She must have been about six years old, 826 00:51:18,943 --> 00:51:22,681 and she said that she felt lonely sometimes. 827 00:51:22,716 --> 00:51:24,980 She missed having a best friend. 828 00:51:25,015 --> 00:51:26,421 And so I brought her 829 00:51:26,456 --> 00:51:28,258 a beautiful little stuffed rabbit. 830 00:51:28,293 --> 00:51:29,688 Mr. Bunny. 831 00:51:29,723 --> 00:51:31,657 And then I remember the next year, 832 00:51:31,692 --> 00:51:33,824 and you said you had this amazing dream 833 00:51:33,859 --> 00:51:37,630 and that, afterwards, all you wanted to do was... 834 00:51:37,665 --> 00:51:39,170 To fly! 835 00:51:39,205 --> 00:51:41,238 To fly. To fly. 836 00:51:42,802 --> 00:51:47,101 I mean, Santa might have some magic, but... 837 00:51:47,136 --> 00:51:50,742 making a little girl fly? 838 00:51:53,010 --> 00:51:57,320 But giving you a kite, 839 00:51:57,355 --> 00:52:00,653 floating just beneath the clouds, 840 00:52:00,688 --> 00:52:03,458 well, it's about as good as it gets. 841 00:52:03,493 --> 00:52:05,295 I knew it. 842 00:52:05,330 --> 00:52:07,528 I knew you were real, Santa. 843 00:52:10,434 --> 00:52:13,204 Don't be too hard on your parents, all right? 844 00:52:15,373 --> 00:52:17,901 Grown-ups have a hard time believing things. 845 00:52:18,937 --> 00:52:21,311 Can you use your Christmas magic 846 00:52:21,346 --> 00:52:23,478 to make them love each other again? 847 00:52:23,513 --> 00:52:25,909 I wish I had that kind of power. 848 00:52:26,912 --> 00:52:30,551 Mrs. Claus and I have been going on year, uh, 849 00:52:30,586 --> 00:52:32,718 1,100, and... 850 00:52:33,787 --> 00:52:36,359 Grown-up relationships are complicated. 851 00:52:37,395 --> 00:52:39,659 It takes work. 852 00:52:39,694 --> 00:52:41,562 A lot of work. 853 00:52:43,962 --> 00:52:46,193 Do you still love her? 854 00:52:46,228 --> 00:52:48,030 Yeah, I do. 855 00:52:49,231 --> 00:52:52,408 And sometimes, even if you want to make somebody happy... 856 00:52:53,939 --> 00:52:56,071 the magic just goes away. 857 00:52:58,108 --> 00:53:00,515 Hey. 858 00:53:00,550 --> 00:53:02,209 I've got an idea. 859 00:53:02,244 --> 00:53:03,782 This will be fun. 860 00:53:05,115 --> 00:53:08,391 Why don't you guys open your presents? 861 00:53:08,426 --> 00:53:12,758 I want to see what you rich assholes get each other. 862 00:53:12,793 --> 00:53:18,467 And some of you might not make it till tomorrow morning, 863 00:53:18,502 --> 00:53:21,272 so this could be your only chance. 864 00:53:22,264 --> 00:53:23,802 Come on. 865 00:53:23,837 --> 00:53:26,310 Where's the Christmas spirit? 866 00:53:27,973 --> 00:53:30,105 Uh... 867 00:53:31,174 --> 00:53:35,418 Gertrude, uh, I got you something pretty special. 868 00:53:35,453 --> 00:53:36,815 Did you hear that, Gertrude? 869 00:53:36,850 --> 00:53:38,784 He got you something amazing. 870 00:53:38,819 --> 00:53:41,721 Oh, what could it be? 871 00:53:41,756 --> 00:53:43,954 Oh, my God, this is exciting. 872 00:53:43,989 --> 00:53:46,220 Mom. 873 00:53:46,255 --> 00:53:47,925 Can I call you Mom? 874 00:53:49,159 --> 00:53:50,664 Mrs. Lightstone. 875 00:53:52,701 --> 00:53:55,966 Okay, so in the business, they call this... 876 00:53:56,969 --> 00:53:58,276 a pitch deck. 877 00:53:59,444 --> 00:54:00,509 - Pitch deck. - Yeah. 878 00:54:00,544 --> 00:54:02,236 It's called Explosive Force. 879 00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:03,941 Starring me. 880 00:54:03,976 --> 00:54:05,514 And if you look in the back, 881 00:54:05,549 --> 00:54:09,177 there are the financial numbers. 882 00:54:09,212 --> 00:54:12,389 I'm kind of a big deal in Asia. 883 00:54:13,953 --> 00:54:16,151 Parts of Asia, at least. 884 00:54:16,186 --> 00:54:18,252 We were in parts of Asia once, and, like, 885 00:54:18,287 --> 00:54:19,924 we couldn't even go to a restaurant. 886 00:54:19,959 --> 00:54:23,290 Ah, what is there a better gift than... 887 00:54:23,325 --> 00:54:26,535 gift of a golden opportunity? 888 00:54:28,198 --> 00:54:30,198 Oh, no. 889 00:54:31,542 --> 00:54:34,103 Granny doesn't like it. 890 00:54:34,138 --> 00:54:36,413 Mother, I got you something really special. 891 00:54:42,982 --> 00:54:45,521 It's a sentimental photo of the day I was born. 892 00:54:45,556 --> 00:54:47,622 I remember. 893 00:54:47,657 --> 00:54:49,052 I was there. 894 00:54:49,087 --> 00:54:51,120 She doesn't give a shit. 895 00:54:53,729 --> 00:54:55,322 Swing and miss again! 896 00:54:55,357 --> 00:54:56,697 This is so fun. 897 00:54:56,732 --> 00:54:57,995 Mommy, how about another one? 898 00:54:58,030 --> 00:54:59,634 I got you a lot of good things. 899 00:54:59,669 --> 00:55:01,669 - I'll grab one. - Alva, Alva, sit down. 900 00:55:01,704 --> 00:55:03,374 You've already given me one. It's... 901 00:55:03,409 --> 00:55:04,672 It's Jason's turn. 902 00:55:04,707 --> 00:55:06,135 Uh... 903 00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:09,743 I th... I-I think I left it in the car. 904 00:55:09,778 --> 00:55:11,844 No, I-I saw you put one under the tree earlier. 905 00:55:11,879 --> 00:55:14,308 - No. It's in the... - Yeah, I did. 906 00:55:14,343 --> 00:55:17,421 I could've sworn. You know what, it's, uh... 907 00:55:17,456 --> 00:55:19,522 Y-You don't... you don't... you don't... you... 908 00:55:19,557 --> 00:55:21,821 It's this one, right? Yeah, I got you, bro. 909 00:55:21,856 --> 00:55:23,350 Come on. 910 00:55:25,090 --> 00:55:27,123 Thank you. 911 00:55:28,192 --> 00:55:30,434 It's my favorite whiskey. 912 00:55:30,469 --> 00:55:33,063 You can skip the note. 913 00:55:56,495 --> 00:55:58,154 Thank you, Jason. 914 00:56:03,667 --> 00:56:05,964 What's the card say? 915 00:56:05,999 --> 00:56:08,934 I think I'll just keep that between Jason and I. 916 00:56:08,969 --> 00:56:12,905 No one really needs to know. Right, Jason? 917 00:56:15,481 --> 00:56:17,107 Right. 918 00:56:18,308 --> 00:56:20,484 Did you ever have a mommy and daddy? 919 00:56:22,521 --> 00:56:24,554 Yeah, of course I had a mommy and daddy. 920 00:56:24,589 --> 00:56:27,920 I wasn't... I wasn't always Santa Claus. 921 00:56:28,956 --> 00:56:31,022 I had a life before this. 922 00:56:32,190 --> 00:56:34,663 A long, long, long time ago. 923 00:56:39,098 --> 00:56:41,967 They used to call me, uh... 924 00:56:42,002 --> 00:56:44,134 Nicomund. 925 00:56:47,843 --> 00:56:49,337 Nicomund the Red. 926 00:56:51,143 --> 00:56:53,781 You had a different job then? 927 00:56:53,816 --> 00:56:56,487 Yeah, you could say that. 928 00:56:56,522 --> 00:56:58,313 I was a warrior. 929 00:56:58,348 --> 00:57:00,656 A raider. A thief. 930 00:57:00,691 --> 00:57:04,418 And if somebody got in my way, 931 00:57:04,453 --> 00:57:05,991 me and Skullcrusher would... 932 00:57:06,026 --> 00:57:07,498 Who's Skullcrusher? 933 00:57:08,490 --> 00:57:11,634 Skullcrusher's my, uh... 934 00:57:11,669 --> 00:57:14,296 my hammer. 935 00:57:14,331 --> 00:57:16,606 My favorite hammer. 936 00:57:16,641 --> 00:57:19,037 I was a surgeon with that thing. 937 00:57:19,072 --> 00:57:21,369 Used to be able to take three heads, line 'em up... 938 00:57:22,911 --> 00:57:25,615 But why? 939 00:57:25,650 --> 00:57:27,177 What? 940 00:57:27,212 --> 00:57:29,520 Why'd you do those things? 941 00:57:31,689 --> 00:57:33,557 Because I was mean. 942 00:57:35,022 --> 00:57:36,923 And I was greedy. 943 00:57:38,927 --> 00:57:41,895 And I wanted gold, jewels. 944 00:57:41,930 --> 00:57:44,326 Yeah, I mean, if there was a naughty list back then, 945 00:57:44,361 --> 00:57:46,361 I'd be top dog. 946 00:57:48,068 --> 00:57:50,002 Well, maybe... 947 00:57:51,005 --> 00:57:52,400 What? 948 00:57:52,435 --> 00:57:54,402 Maybe all those bad things you used to do... 949 00:57:55,746 --> 00:57:58,615 maybe you can use them to do good things instead. 950 00:57:59,618 --> 00:58:01,981 To help. 951 00:58:02,016 --> 00:58:03,851 What do you mean? 952 00:58:03,886 --> 00:58:08,317 Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy. 953 00:58:08,352 --> 00:58:11,595 That night, you gave me what I wished for. 954 00:58:11,630 --> 00:58:13,454 A best friend. 955 00:58:14,523 --> 00:58:17,260 'Cause you're good and kind. 956 00:58:17,295 --> 00:58:20,736 And you mean more than just the presents you bring. 957 00:58:20,771 --> 00:58:23,365 That's why I believe in you, Santa. 958 00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,642 That's why I believe. 959 00:58:31,375 --> 00:58:32,979 Thank you. 960 00:58:34,983 --> 00:58:38,919 You stay hidden, Trudy, till I come get you. 961 00:58:38,954 --> 00:58:40,888 Stay safe. 962 00:58:42,089 --> 00:58:44,694 All right, we got satellite confirmation. 963 00:58:44,729 --> 00:58:46,861 Extraction team's on the go. 964 00:58:46,896 --> 00:58:49,193 30 minutes. 965 00:58:49,228 --> 00:58:50,766 We're on schedule. 966 00:58:50,801 --> 00:58:52,295 Everything's good. 967 00:58:52,330 --> 00:58:53,802 All right, fellas. 968 00:58:53,837 --> 00:58:55,298 Look alive, look alive. 969 00:58:55,333 --> 00:58:57,234 You all know the plan, 970 00:58:57,269 --> 00:59:00,710 and I like my operations like I like to fuck: 971 00:59:00,745 --> 00:59:03,405 hard and fast with minimal cleanup. 972 00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:07,882 Now, some idiot gets in your way, what do you do? 973 00:59:07,917 --> 00:59:09,950 Fuck their shit up right! 974 00:59:09,985 --> 00:59:11,589 Damn right. 975 00:59:12,581 --> 00:59:14,955 Time to lube up. 976 00:59:16,354 --> 00:59:18,761 Let's go, motherfuckers! Let's go! 977 00:59:24,934 --> 00:59:26,967 This fucking family. 978 00:59:46,549 --> 00:59:48,582 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 979 00:59:48,617 --> 00:59:50,320 Merry Christmas. 980 00:59:50,355 --> 00:59:51,662 Happy holidays. 981 00:59:51,697 --> 00:59:52,795 Traitor. 982 00:59:54,392 --> 00:59:56,359 I got him in the east wing. 983 00:59:56,394 --> 00:59:58,702 All right, we're on our way. Hold him. 984 01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:13,882 Step aside. 985 01:00:27,766 --> 01:00:30,459 Now, how did this tired, old, 986 01:00:30,494 --> 01:00:33,033 fat piece of shit get the drop on us? 987 01:00:33,068 --> 01:00:34,628 I don't know. 988 01:00:34,663 --> 01:00:36,630 He's not even armed. 989 01:00:36,665 --> 01:00:38,907 This bag is the only thing he had on him. 990 01:00:38,942 --> 01:00:40,205 What's in there? 991 01:00:41,175 --> 01:00:42,944 Can't see anything. 992 01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:48,609 Here, give it to me. 993 01:00:59,765 --> 01:01:02,359 What kind of moron... 994 01:01:02,394 --> 01:01:04,427 carries a chess set with him? 995 01:01:08,235 --> 01:01:09,872 What the fuck? 996 01:01:09,907 --> 01:01:12,270 Doesn't make any sense. Look at all this shit. 997 01:01:19,576 --> 01:01:22,346 So, you're gonna tell us what's the gimmick with the bag? 998 01:01:22,381 --> 01:01:24,117 It's magic. 999 01:01:24,152 --> 01:01:26,823 You put your hand in, out comes a present. 1000 01:01:28,794 --> 01:01:31,256 I don't really understand how it works, either. 1001 01:01:32,721 --> 01:01:35,766 So, you're Mr. Scrooge. 1002 01:01:35,801 --> 01:01:37,724 That's right. 1003 01:01:37,759 --> 01:01:39,462 But who are you? 1004 01:01:39,497 --> 01:01:41,563 Weihnachtsmann. 1005 01:01:43,072 --> 01:01:44,742 Julenissen. 1006 01:01:45,844 --> 01:01:47,745 Shèngdàn Laorén. 1007 01:01:48,770 --> 01:01:51,782 Babbo Natale, Père Noel, Kris Kringle. 1008 01:01:51,817 --> 01:01:54,411 Jolly old Saint Nick. 1009 01:01:54,446 --> 01:01:57,249 People call me a lot of things. 1010 01:01:58,285 --> 01:02:00,791 Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. 1011 01:02:00,826 --> 01:02:03,255 Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"? 1012 01:02:03,290 --> 01:02:06,720 If you're Santa, where's your reindeer? 1013 01:02:06,755 --> 01:02:08,755 They were on the roof 1014 01:02:08,790 --> 01:02:11,296 until that guy I turned into an ice kebab just... 1015 01:02:13,872 --> 01:02:15,333 You don't believe me? 1016 01:02:15,368 --> 01:02:16,763 Go check. 1017 01:02:16,798 --> 01:02:19,469 Prancer left a tasty log up there. 1018 01:02:19,504 --> 01:02:21,273 This fucking guy. 1019 01:02:21,308 --> 01:02:23,143 You don't think... 1020 01:02:23,178 --> 01:02:26,113 Now, I know you're an idiot, but don't be an idiot out loud. 1021 01:02:26,148 --> 01:02:28,181 Come on, he's just in Santy Claus 1022 01:02:28,216 --> 01:02:30,183 with a fucking trick bag. 1023 01:02:30,218 --> 01:02:32,251 Oh, no! 1024 01:02:32,286 --> 01:02:33,989 That bag was full of kids' dreams! 1025 01:02:34,024 --> 01:02:35,991 Oh, come on. 1026 01:02:36,026 --> 01:02:38,158 Everybody knows that Christmas dreams are bullshit. 1027 01:02:39,161 --> 01:02:41,359 My father used to make a big deal out of it 1028 01:02:41,394 --> 01:02:43,361 every Christmas. 1029 01:02:43,396 --> 01:02:45,594 Every freaking Christmas with the presents 1030 01:02:45,629 --> 01:02:47,871 and the candy and the decorations 1031 01:02:47,906 --> 01:02:51,369 and the Christmas caroling and all that bullshit. 1032 01:02:52,878 --> 01:02:55,175 And then when I was... 1033 01:02:55,210 --> 01:02:58,706 I don't know, ten, 11, 1034 01:02:58,741 --> 01:03:00,642 he got laid off, and that Christmas, 1035 01:03:00,677 --> 01:03:02,017 couldn't even afford a tree. 1036 01:03:02,052 --> 01:03:03,711 No Christmas dinner, no gifts. 1037 01:03:03,746 --> 01:03:06,021 Nothing, nada, culo, dick. 1038 01:03:07,024 --> 01:03:08,485 But our neighbors... 1039 01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:10,322 our neighbors, oh, they had it all. 1040 01:03:10,357 --> 01:03:12,060 I could see all that yuletide cheer 1041 01:03:12,095 --> 01:03:14,722 through their window mocking me. 1042 01:03:14,757 --> 01:03:18,627 So Christmas Eve rolls around, and... 1043 01:03:18,662 --> 01:03:21,696 I waited for everybody to go to bed. 1044 01:03:21,731 --> 01:03:24,908 And then I snuck in there to take it all. 1045 01:03:26,175 --> 01:03:28,538 Only problem was that the gramps got up to take a piss 1046 01:03:28,573 --> 01:03:30,804 and the two of us scared the shit out of each other. 1047 01:03:30,839 --> 01:03:34,148 And, um, he fell down the stairs 1048 01:03:34,183 --> 01:03:38,548 and-and broke his neck, and he died in the hospital. 1049 01:03:38,583 --> 01:03:40,088 Everybody thought that I did it, 1050 01:03:40,123 --> 01:03:41,716 and every time I tried to tell them, 1051 01:03:41,751 --> 01:03:43,861 I tried to tell them that... 1052 01:03:45,689 --> 01:03:47,898 Anyway, maybe I did do it. 1053 01:03:47,933 --> 01:03:49,933 Maybe I did push him. 1054 01:03:49,968 --> 01:03:51,935 Poor old fucker. 1055 01:03:51,970 --> 01:03:55,268 So, you see, Christmas ruined my life. 1056 01:03:55,303 --> 01:03:56,863 Okay? But you know what? 1057 01:03:56,898 --> 01:03:58,337 It set me on the path 1058 01:03:58,372 --> 01:04:00,372 and made me the great man that I am today. 1059 01:04:00,407 --> 01:04:02,209 I'm sorry, Jimmy. 1060 01:04:03,212 --> 01:04:04,607 I really am. 1061 01:04:05,643 --> 01:04:07,676 But I do gifts. I do Christmas cheer. 1062 01:04:07,711 --> 01:04:09,920 I don't get involved in people's lives. 1063 01:04:09,955 --> 01:04:13,583 Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, maybe you fucking should! 1064 01:04:18,227 --> 01:04:21,393 Um, how did he know your name? 1065 01:04:21,428 --> 01:04:23,032 Oh, Bjorn. 1066 01:04:23,067 --> 01:04:25,199 What's your excuse? 1067 01:04:25,234 --> 01:04:26,893 Huh? 1068 01:04:26,928 --> 01:04:30,072 Didn't I get you that Huffy bike you wanted back in '82? 1069 01:04:30,107 --> 01:04:33,372 One you wrote me 50 times about! 1070 01:04:33,407 --> 01:04:34,978 What about you, Kira? 1071 01:04:35,013 --> 01:04:37,948 Well, you made your brother eat worms. 1072 01:04:37,983 --> 01:04:39,576 That's naughty! 1073 01:04:39,611 --> 01:04:41,446 Okay, how does he know about my bike? 1074 01:04:41,481 --> 01:04:44,988 It's a lucky guess, like: "Hey, do you like big tits?" 1075 01:04:45,023 --> 01:04:47,254 Come on, every kid wants a fucking bike. 1076 01:04:47,289 --> 01:04:50,389 -You're gonna tell me who you work for... -Oh, Christ. No. 1077 01:04:50,424 --> 01:04:53,491 Then you've got five seconds to tell me who you really are. 1078 01:04:53,526 --> 01:04:56,296 Five, four, three, two... 1079 01:04:56,331 --> 01:04:57,968 I'm Santa Claus! 1080 01:04:58,003 --> 01:05:00,102 Well, not anymore. 1081 01:05:25,195 --> 01:05:27,195 Is it snowing? 1082 01:05:27,230 --> 01:05:30,297 Is he doing this with Santa magic? 1083 01:05:36,899 --> 01:05:39,141 Let it snow! 1084 01:05:51,012 --> 01:05:52,979 It's not snow. 1085 01:05:53,014 --> 01:05:54,387 It's Styrofoam. 1086 01:05:54,422 --> 01:05:56,488 I told you this guy's a big phony. 1087 01:06:11,032 --> 01:06:13,142 Where'd he go? 1088 01:06:13,177 --> 01:06:14,638 He went up the chimney. 1089 01:06:14,673 --> 01:06:16,244 - I saw it. - I don't know, 1090 01:06:16,279 --> 01:06:18,246 he had a rig or some pulley system 1091 01:06:18,281 --> 01:06:20,314 - that just yanked him up. - You can't fit up there. 1092 01:06:20,349 --> 01:06:21,909 - It's impossible. - Oh, you see one weird thing, 1093 01:06:21,944 --> 01:06:24,087 and then you think you're in a fairy tale? 1094 01:06:24,122 --> 01:06:25,418 Incoming. 1095 01:06:25,453 --> 01:06:26,320 We've got sleigh bells approaching. 1096 01:06:26,355 --> 01:06:28,058 Oh, my God. 1097 01:06:28,093 --> 01:06:29,917 It's his reindeer. 1098 01:06:31,723 --> 01:06:33,690 It's the extraction team. 1099 01:06:33,725 --> 01:06:35,692 Pull yourselves together! 1100 01:06:50,874 --> 01:06:54,942 And that is the sound of my Kill Squad. 1101 01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:58,616 Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now. 1102 01:06:58,651 --> 01:07:00,684 Huh? What are you gonna do? You little elf bitch. 1103 01:07:00,719 --> 01:07:02,224 Fu... 1104 01:07:02,259 --> 01:07:03,423 Bertie. 1105 01:07:03,458 --> 01:07:04,853 Hashtag "blessed." 1106 01:07:07,957 --> 01:07:10,463 Yeah! 1107 01:07:10,498 --> 01:07:11,695 Parkour. 1108 01:07:11,730 --> 01:07:12,894 Kill him, babe! 1109 01:07:12,929 --> 01:07:15,270 Oh! 1110 01:07:16,405 --> 01:07:17,932 Morgan's gonna save us. 1111 01:07:19,837 --> 01:07:23,311 Jean-Claude Van Dipshit just ditched us, sweetie. 1112 01:07:30,584 --> 01:07:32,485 Hold your fire. 1113 01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:34,047 Barrel roll! 1114 01:07:35,754 --> 01:07:37,050 Easy, easy. 1115 01:07:37,085 --> 01:07:38,953 - Yeah! - Easy. 1116 01:07:38,988 --> 01:07:40,295 Identify yourself. 1117 01:07:40,330 --> 01:07:42,792 I'm one of the hostages. 1118 01:07:42,827 --> 01:07:45,960 Morgan Steel, the actor. 1119 01:07:45,995 --> 01:07:48,930 Played a lot of soldiers in my career. 1120 01:07:48,965 --> 01:07:52,208 Can I just say, thank you for your service. Semper fi. 1121 01:07:53,277 --> 01:07:55,145 What's the situation inside? 1122 01:07:55,180 --> 01:07:57,642 Bunch of ex-military guys, 1123 01:07:57,677 --> 01:07:59,644 but I got to warn you, they know you're coming. 1124 01:07:59,679 --> 01:08:01,250 I think they're ready for you. 1125 01:08:01,285 --> 01:08:03,010 They better be. 1126 01:08:03,045 --> 01:08:05,111 We're on a tight schedule. 1127 01:08:05,146 --> 01:08:06,981 Shit. 1128 01:08:10,393 --> 01:08:12,492 Oh, f... 1129 01:08:12,527 --> 01:08:15,660 - All right, let's move out. - Let's move out. 1130 01:08:19,864 --> 01:08:21,633 Come on. 1131 01:08:21,668 --> 01:08:23,866 You got to be kidding me. 1132 01:08:23,901 --> 01:08:25,505 Hey, Thorp, you're ten minutes late. 1133 01:08:25,540 --> 01:08:27,001 What kept you? 1134 01:08:27,036 --> 01:08:29,377 Looks to me like your net's got a hole in it. 1135 01:08:29,412 --> 01:08:31,709 Or are you just letting your hostages out for some exercise? 1136 01:08:31,744 --> 01:08:34,041 No, no, no. We got a wild gopher running around 1137 01:08:34,076 --> 01:08:36,516 complicating shit and causing problems. 1138 01:08:36,551 --> 01:08:38,287 Who? Lightstone security? 1139 01:08:38,322 --> 01:08:39,717 Nah, I don't think so. Some intruder dressed as Santa. 1140 01:08:39,752 --> 01:08:41,290 But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, 1141 01:08:41,325 --> 01:08:43,292 there's something weird about him. 1142 01:08:43,327 --> 01:08:45,052 Might be the real Santa. 1143 01:08:45,087 --> 01:08:47,362 - The fuck did she just say? - Nothing, nothing. 1144 01:08:47,397 --> 01:08:48,495 She's joking. 1145 01:08:48,530 --> 01:08:50,893 My squad will take care of it. 1146 01:08:53,370 --> 01:08:55,964 Beta Team, go find this asshole. 1147 01:08:55,999 --> 01:08:58,241 Go. 1148 01:08:58,276 --> 01:09:02,377 Now, let's unwrap our present, shall we? 1149 01:09:02,412 --> 01:09:04,709 All right, you heard the man. 1150 01:09:04,744 --> 01:09:07,250 Time to kill Santa. 1151 01:09:07,285 --> 01:09:09,813 I've got him. He's on the roof. 1152 01:09:09,848 --> 01:09:11,947 Roger that. I got eyes on him. 1153 01:09:29,472 --> 01:09:31,439 Right, Sugarplum. Hit that button. 1154 01:09:38,415 --> 01:09:40,250 Here we go. 1155 01:09:40,285 --> 01:09:41,713 Our skeleton key. 1156 01:09:41,748 --> 01:09:43,550 The "open" magic stick. 1157 01:09:43,585 --> 01:09:45,420 This better fucking work. 1158 01:09:45,455 --> 01:09:48,016 I'm flushing my career for this, my reputation. 1159 01:09:48,051 --> 01:09:50,557 Yeah, well, then you can buy yourself a new rep. 1160 01:09:59,667 --> 01:10:01,304 As a kid, I loved 1161 01:10:01,339 --> 01:10:03,372 unwrapping Christmas presents so much 1162 01:10:03,407 --> 01:10:06,067 that my mom would wrap empty boxes for me. 1163 01:10:07,235 --> 01:10:09,279 I didn't care that nothing was inside. 1164 01:10:21,458 --> 01:10:23,920 Is this a fucking joke? 1165 01:10:23,955 --> 01:10:25,185 No. 1166 01:10:26,661 --> 01:10:28,562 You said it would fucking be here! 1167 01:10:28,597 --> 01:10:32,060 I'm telling you, my intel was rock solid. 1168 01:10:32,095 --> 01:10:34,469 I had guys on the inside. 1169 01:10:35,769 --> 01:10:39,133 300 million in cash was delivered here yesterday 1170 01:10:39,168 --> 01:10:41,278 to this fucking mansion. 1171 01:10:46,516 --> 01:10:49,143 Somebody must've intercepted it. 1172 01:10:53,149 --> 01:10:55,182 Son of a bitch. 1173 01:11:17,679 --> 01:11:19,041 Oh, shit. 1174 01:11:19,076 --> 01:11:21,714 Santa, you okay? 1175 01:11:21,749 --> 01:11:23,485 Santa. 1176 01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:25,619 A bunch of new bad guys showed up. 1177 01:11:25,654 --> 01:11:27,621 They're on the naughty list. 1178 01:11:27,656 --> 01:11:30,393 They got their gadgets and their gizmos on them. 1179 01:11:31,396 --> 01:11:33,858 I'm sorry. I think this is it, kid. 1180 01:11:33,893 --> 01:11:35,629 No, no, don't say that. 1181 01:11:35,664 --> 01:11:37,631 The naughty list... 1182 01:11:37,666 --> 01:11:39,897 just grows and grows. 1183 01:11:48,842 --> 01:11:52,580 He's in that structure. Body cams on. 1184 01:11:52,615 --> 01:11:54,681 Don't give up. 1185 01:11:54,716 --> 01:11:57,145 You make a wish this time, Santa. 1186 01:11:57,180 --> 01:11:58,916 Just this once. 1187 01:11:58,951 --> 01:12:01,853 If you could have anything in this world, 1188 01:12:01,888 --> 01:12:03,921 what would it be? 1189 01:12:09,863 --> 01:12:12,864 I wish I could see Mrs. Claus again, 1190 01:12:12,899 --> 01:12:16,032 tell her how much I love her. 1191 01:12:16,067 --> 01:12:18,837 Then you make that wish come true. 1192 01:12:18,872 --> 01:12:21,004 Oh, shit. 1193 01:12:21,039 --> 01:12:23,204 No, no, no, no. No, no. 1194 01:12:24,911 --> 01:12:26,372 Oh, God. 1195 01:12:26,407 --> 01:12:29,243 No. 1196 01:12:41,730 --> 01:12:44,698 You said these guys, they're naughty. 1197 01:12:44,733 --> 01:12:47,602 And what do you do to the naughty ones? 1198 01:12:47,637 --> 01:12:49,472 I give them a lump of coal. 1199 01:12:49,507 --> 01:12:51,573 Yeah. Give them their lumps. 1200 01:12:53,104 --> 01:12:55,137 Take that coal and shove it straight up their... 1201 01:12:55,172 --> 01:12:57,480 - Anuses. - Yeah! 1202 01:13:03,488 --> 01:13:04,982 They're right outside. 1203 01:13:19,537 --> 01:13:21,900 Santa's gonna eat through these guys 1204 01:13:21,935 --> 01:13:23,803 like a plate full of cookies. 1205 01:13:28,469 --> 01:13:29,710 Move, move. 1206 01:13:33,551 --> 01:13:35,309 Hey, lock it up. 1207 01:13:37,181 --> 01:13:38,983 Lights down. 1208 01:13:40,184 --> 01:13:42,283 Stay at my back. 1209 01:13:42,318 --> 01:13:44,186 All right, we got this, boys. 1210 01:14:03,306 --> 01:14:05,515 All right, where the fuck is my money?! 1211 01:14:05,550 --> 01:14:07,748 Where's the money?! 1212 01:14:18,827 --> 01:14:21,388 All right, I've been a sweetheart up to now. 1213 01:14:21,423 --> 01:14:22,994 But that's all over. 1214 01:14:23,029 --> 01:14:24,699 No more fucking games! 1215 01:14:24,734 --> 01:14:26,360 Where's the money? 1216 01:14:26,395 --> 01:14:29,198 Or I will shoot every last one of you and enjoy it. 1217 01:14:33,611 --> 01:14:36,238 - It's in the vault. - I just looked in the vault. 1218 01:14:36,273 --> 01:14:37,745 Had the money been in there, 1219 01:14:37,780 --> 01:14:39,340 I'd have a different expression on my face. 1220 01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:40,814 Impossible. 1221 01:14:40,849 --> 01:14:42,882 Takes days to get into that thing. 1222 01:14:42,917 --> 01:14:46,281 Not if we have the key, Mrs. Lightstone. 1223 01:14:47,790 --> 01:14:49,823 Thorp. 1224 01:14:51,288 --> 01:14:53,728 You can't trust anyone these days. 1225 01:14:53,763 --> 01:14:55,928 I'm not sure how, but you 1226 01:14:55,963 --> 01:14:58,832 or one of your shithead kids moved the money. 1227 01:14:58,867 --> 01:15:00,669 And this upsets me. 1228 01:15:00,704 --> 01:15:02,704 It upsets me 1229 01:15:02,739 --> 01:15:06,466 in a way that makes me want to just randomly shoot at people. 1230 01:15:07,469 --> 01:15:09,711 Hold on. Just... Sorry. 1231 01:15:09,746 --> 01:15:11,240 - Um... - What? What? 1232 01:15:11,275 --> 01:15:12,714 Uh, what if you randomly shoot 1233 01:15:12,749 --> 01:15:14,980 the only person who knows where it is? 1234 01:15:16,214 --> 01:15:18,346 Oh, fuck you people! 1235 01:15:23,122 --> 01:15:27,993 ♪ We waited all through the year ♪ 1236 01:15:29,095 --> 01:15:34,098 ♪ For the day to appear ♪ 1237 01:15:35,970 --> 01:15:41,710 ♪ When we could be together ♪ 1238 01:15:41,745 --> 01:15:44,075 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1239 01:15:45,683 --> 01:15:47,782 ♪ You know the time will come ♪ 1240 01:15:50,787 --> 01:15:53,150 ♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪ 1241 01:15:53,185 --> 01:15:54,657 Suck on this. 1242 01:15:59,191 --> 01:16:03,996 ♪ And we can live forever ♪ 1243 01:16:04,031 --> 01:16:07,263 ♪ In a world where we are free ♪ 1244 01:16:07,298 --> 01:16:10,431 ♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪ 1245 01:16:10,466 --> 01:16:13,643 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1246 01:16:13,678 --> 01:16:16,844 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1247 01:16:16,879 --> 01:16:19,649 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day... ♪ 1248 01:16:19,684 --> 01:16:21,244 I need some feedback, guys. 1249 01:16:22,786 --> 01:16:24,720 Guys, what the hell is going on? 1250 01:16:25,723 --> 01:16:28,449 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1251 01:16:28,484 --> 01:16:32,794 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1252 01:16:34,732 --> 01:16:39,493 ♪ We're all as one tonight ♪ 1253 01:16:39,528 --> 01:16:44,135 ♪ Makes no difference if you're Black or white ♪ 1254 01:16:47,041 --> 01:16:49,635 ♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪ 1255 01:16:52,343 --> 01:16:54,343 ♪ In harmony ♪ 1256 01:16:56,479 --> 01:17:01,185 ♪ I know it's not too late ♪ 1257 01:17:01,220 --> 01:17:04,155 ♪ The world would be ♪ 1258 01:17:04,190 --> 01:17:07,422 ♪ A better place ♪ 1259 01:17:09,690 --> 01:17:11,195 - What's that? - Huh? 1260 01:17:11,230 --> 01:17:13,329 ♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪ 1261 01:17:15,333 --> 01:17:17,707 ♪ More than one day in the year ♪ 1262 01:17:17,742 --> 01:17:21,744 ♪ Send a message loud and clear ♪ 1263 01:17:23,341 --> 01:17:26,210 ♪ There's something about Christmastime ♪ 1264 01:17:26,245 --> 01:17:28,883 ♪ Something about Christmastime ♪ 1265 01:17:28,918 --> 01:17:33,052 ♪ That makes you wish it was Christmas every day ♪ 1266 01:17:35,188 --> 01:17:38,827 ♪ To see the joy in the children's eyes ♪ 1267 01:17:38,862 --> 01:17:41,654 ♪ The way that the old folks smile ♪ 1268 01:17:41,689 --> 01:17:46,461 ♪ Says that Christmas will never go away ♪ 1269 01:17:47,464 --> 01:17:50,201 ♪ It's the time of year when everyone's together... ♪ 1270 01:17:50,236 --> 01:17:52,104 Jesus Christ. 1271 01:17:53,074 --> 01:17:55,536 Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick. 1272 01:17:55,571 --> 01:17:57,846 ♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪ 1273 01:17:59,542 --> 01:18:03,214 ♪ When the ones you love are there ♪ 1274 01:18:03,249 --> 01:18:08,021 ♪ You can feel the magic in the air... ♪ 1275 01:18:08,056 --> 01:18:10,683 - Oh, God! - There you go. 1276 01:18:10,718 --> 01:18:12,322 A little stocking stuffer. 1277 01:18:13,325 --> 01:18:16,799 Where is it? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 1278 01:18:16,834 --> 01:18:19,395 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 1279 01:18:19,430 --> 01:18:21,804 - I got to watch. - Fuck! 1280 01:18:23,236 --> 01:18:25,434 Ho-Ho-Holy shit. 1281 01:18:25,469 --> 01:18:27,810 ♪ Christmas will never go away. ♪ 1282 01:18:27,845 --> 01:18:30,439 Gertrude would never trust anybody 1283 01:18:30,474 --> 01:18:32,738 who wasn't blood with this kind of info. 1284 01:18:32,773 --> 01:18:34,641 So... 1285 01:18:34,676 --> 01:18:38,216 the in-laws wouldn't know shit, 1286 01:18:38,251 --> 01:18:40,614 which means that I can shoot her... 1287 01:18:42,321 --> 01:18:44,288 unless you tell me where the fucking money is. 1288 01:18:44,323 --> 01:18:46,323 Please don't, okay? It's Christmas. 1289 01:18:46,358 --> 01:18:48,160 Shut up! 1290 01:18:49,295 --> 01:18:50,756 I swear, I'll blow her brains out 1291 01:18:50,791 --> 01:18:52,065 unless you tell me where the money went. 1292 01:18:52,100 --> 01:18:54,298 I did it! 1293 01:18:54,333 --> 01:18:56,806 - What? - Okay. Yeah, I did it. 1294 01:18:56,841 --> 01:18:58,731 - I moved the money. - No, d-don't-don't be an idiot. 1295 01:18:58,766 --> 01:19:00,403 - What? - The money's our only leverage. 1296 01:19:00,438 --> 01:19:02,141 Well, my wife has a fucking gun to her head, so... 1297 01:19:02,176 --> 01:19:04,011 Yeah, how did you find out that we were coming, huh? 1298 01:19:04,046 --> 01:19:05,606 I didn't. I was stealing it. 1299 01:19:07,049 --> 01:19:08,345 - Yeah, coincidence. - Oh, my God. 1300 01:19:08,380 --> 01:19:09,852 I was planning to take the money 1301 01:19:09,887 --> 01:19:12,822 and leave with my wife and daughter tonight 1302 01:19:12,857 --> 01:19:14,780 and never come back here. 1303 01:19:14,815 --> 01:19:18,289 Oh, and then my mom would, uh, 1304 01:19:18,324 --> 01:19:20,291 read the note with her whiskey in the morning 1305 01:19:20,326 --> 01:19:21,996 and know what I had done. 1306 01:19:22,031 --> 01:19:24,361 For years, I have been telling you 1307 01:19:24,396 --> 01:19:26,869 to stop caring about your mother's fucking money! 1308 01:19:26,904 --> 01:19:29,971 And you think the solution was to steal a bunch of it. 1309 01:19:30,974 --> 01:19:32,941 Well, it... yeah, it does sound stupid 1310 01:19:32,976 --> 01:19:34,536 when you say it like that. 1311 01:19:34,571 --> 01:19:36,538 How can you do this right now? 1312 01:19:36,573 --> 01:19:38,672 It's disgusting. After all that Mother has given us? 1313 01:19:38,707 --> 01:19:40,674 Come on, Alva. Everything she ever gave you, 1314 01:19:40,709 --> 01:19:42,016 she made damn sure we knew 1315 01:19:42,051 --> 01:19:43,347 she had the power to take right back. 1316 01:19:43,382 --> 01:19:47,186 I have spent years groveling to you. 1317 01:19:47,221 --> 01:19:49,958 In the meanwhile, I was destroying 1318 01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:51,993 the only good thing in my life. 1319 01:19:52,028 --> 01:19:53,489 What are we doing here, huh? 1320 01:19:53,524 --> 01:19:56,228 Family therapy or doing a heist? 1321 01:19:56,263 --> 01:19:59,330 - Yeah, enough of this sharing bullshit. - 1322 01:19:59,365 --> 01:20:01,035 All right. Where'd you put it? 1323 01:20:07,505 --> 01:20:09,879 Look at this little idiot. 1324 01:20:13,742 --> 01:20:15,181 Oh, no. 1325 01:20:15,216 --> 01:20:16,985 What? 1326 01:20:17,020 --> 01:20:18,888 - The bad guys found me. - Okay. 1327 01:20:18,923 --> 01:20:20,714 I'm coming. 1328 01:20:27,426 --> 01:20:31,098 You know, booby traps don't work unless you hide them. 1329 01:20:33,938 --> 01:20:35,267 You little moron. 1330 01:20:38,602 --> 01:20:40,767 Jesus! Shit! 1331 01:20:44,872 --> 01:20:46,773 Help me! Help me! Help! 1332 01:20:48,315 --> 01:20:50,447 You'll be f... You'll be fine. 1333 01:20:50,482 --> 01:20:52,449 Sit tight. I'll be back in a sec. 1334 01:20:55,586 --> 01:20:57,751 Right after I kill this little piece of shit! 1335 01:21:00,657 --> 01:21:02,932 You little fucking brat. 1336 01:21:51,477 --> 01:21:53,180 You're dead! 1337 01:21:53,215 --> 01:21:55,545 You're so fucking dead! 1338 01:22:02,818 --> 01:22:05,126 Fucking piece of shit. 1339 01:22:10,463 --> 01:22:12,969 You little... 1340 01:22:30,549 --> 01:22:32,351 Incoming! 1341 01:22:51,240 --> 01:22:53,042 Son of a fucking... 1342 01:23:03,120 --> 01:23:05,010 Fuck. 1343 01:23:05,045 --> 01:23:06,748 I got you now, kid. 1344 01:23:06,783 --> 01:23:08,387 Yeah? Heads up. 1345 01:23:10,787 --> 01:23:12,325 That's all you got? You fucking... 1346 01:23:15,132 --> 01:23:17,561 Enough of this shit. 1347 01:23:43,259 --> 01:23:44,291 Santa! 1348 01:23:54,435 --> 01:23:56,732 Hi, Trudy. Hi. 1349 01:23:56,767 --> 01:23:59,537 I made booby traps like in the movie. It was so funny. 1350 01:23:59,572 --> 01:24:02,034 Ho, ho, ho. 1351 01:24:08,075 --> 01:24:11,813 Trudy, I want you to, uh... just do me a favor. 1352 01:24:12,849 --> 01:24:15,751 Just turn around and close your eyes. 1353 01:24:15,786 --> 01:24:18,490 Maybe put your fingers in your ears and, uh, 1354 01:24:18,525 --> 01:24:21,592 sing "Jingle Bells" as loud as you can. 1355 01:24:21,627 --> 01:24:23,594 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪ 1356 01:24:23,629 --> 01:24:25,926 ♪ Jingle all the way ♪ 1357 01:24:25,961 --> 01:24:28,269 ♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪ 1358 01:24:28,304 --> 01:24:31,239 You were about to murder an innocent child. 1359 01:24:31,274 --> 01:24:32,405 ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells... ♪ 1360 01:24:32,440 --> 01:24:34,143 Innocent? 1361 01:24:34,178 --> 01:24:35,903 It's naughty. 1362 01:24:35,938 --> 01:24:37,278 Naughty. 1363 01:24:38,215 --> 01:24:39,742 Naughty! 1364 01:24:39,777 --> 01:24:41,414 It's part of the Lightstone legacy. 1365 01:24:41,449 --> 01:24:43,185 We're horrible people. 1366 01:24:43,220 --> 01:24:45,011 So I get why you did what you did. 1367 01:24:45,046 --> 01:24:47,112 When your grandfather told me I'd never run the company 1368 01:24:47,147 --> 01:24:49,422 because a girl doesn't have what it takes, 1369 01:24:49,457 --> 01:24:51,424 I had to snatch the reins away from him. 1370 01:24:51,459 --> 01:24:52,953 But the point is, 1371 01:24:52,988 --> 01:24:54,658 a Lightstone takes what's theirs. 1372 01:24:54,693 --> 01:24:56,264 I'm proud of you, son. 1373 01:24:56,299 --> 01:24:57,826 All right, where the hell is it? 1374 01:25:00,028 --> 01:25:01,896 The money's hidden inside. 1375 01:25:03,372 --> 01:25:06,274 And the Three Wise Men presented him with gifts 1376 01:25:06,309 --> 01:25:09,068 of frankincense, myrrh... 1377 01:25:11,248 --> 01:25:14,315 and cold hard cash. 1378 01:25:14,350 --> 01:25:15,877 Load it up, boys. 1379 01:25:15,912 --> 01:25:18,220 All right, we're securing the money. 1380 01:25:18,255 --> 01:25:20,046 Kill the hostages and meet us outside. 1381 01:25:20,081 --> 01:25:21,817 What? 1382 01:25:21,852 --> 01:25:23,819 No. 1383 01:25:25,823 --> 01:25:27,119 Mom. 1384 01:25:27,154 --> 01:25:28,560 It's fine, Bert. 1385 01:25:28,595 --> 01:25:29,957 Everything's fine. 1386 01:25:29,992 --> 01:25:32,058 Okay. 1387 01:25:32,093 --> 01:25:34,203 Everybody, get up. 1388 01:25:34,238 --> 01:25:38,636 It's time for a murder. 1389 01:25:38,671 --> 01:25:41,067 Come on. Come on. You don't want to kill us. 1390 01:25:41,102 --> 01:25:42,508 You really don't. 1391 01:25:42,543 --> 01:25:44,708 Oh, yes, I do. 1392 01:25:44,743 --> 01:25:47,843 I really, really, really do. 1393 01:25:47,878 --> 01:25:49,482 And I'm gonna start with you. 1394 01:25:49,517 --> 01:25:50,879 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1395 01:25:50,914 --> 01:25:52,045 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1396 01:25:53,917 --> 01:25:55,521 You got to kill Aunt Linda first. 1397 01:25:55,556 --> 01:25:57,490 What the hell, Bert? 1398 01:25:57,525 --> 01:25:59,327 You want to squeeze in being a little shit 1399 01:25:59,362 --> 01:26:00,988 before you die, Bertrude? 1400 01:26:01,023 --> 01:26:02,528 - I say shoot him first. - What? 1401 01:26:02,563 --> 01:26:04,596 Wait. No, no, no. Don't shoot him. 1402 01:26:04,631 --> 01:26:06,697 Don't shoot him first. And don't you call him 1403 01:26:06,732 --> 01:26:08,336 a little shit, you gold-digging bitch. 1404 01:26:08,371 --> 01:26:10,195 Okay. I changed my mind. 1405 01:26:10,230 --> 01:26:12,164 -Shoot the alcoholic bitch first. -Don't call my mom 1406 01:26:12,199 --> 01:26:14,276 - an alcoholic bitch. - Your mom's an alcoholic. 1407 01:26:14,311 --> 01:26:16,036 - I'm sorry. - You're a gold-digging bitch. 1408 01:26:16,071 --> 01:26:18,280 Oh, I'm a gold-digger, when I have a whole-ass career? 1409 01:26:18,315 --> 01:26:19,842 You're not even part of the fucking family. 1410 01:26:19,877 --> 01:26:22,548 - She's an engineer. - You know goddamn well... 1411 01:26:22,583 --> 01:26:23,780 Shut up! 1412 01:26:27,654 --> 01:26:31,557 Just like rats in a barrel. 1413 01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:34,725 Why don't you die with some dignity? 1414 01:26:39,798 --> 01:26:41,699 Get off of me! 1415 01:26:41,734 --> 01:26:43,371 Okay, okay. 1416 01:26:43,406 --> 01:26:44,702 Fuck you! 1417 01:26:44,737 --> 01:26:47,133 This is for yelling at my child! 1418 01:26:47,168 --> 01:26:48,640 Creep! 1419 01:26:48,675 --> 01:26:50,378 That's for slapping me, motherfucker! 1420 01:26:50,413 --> 01:26:52,204 This is for your dumb fucking hat! 1421 01:27:01,787 --> 01:27:03,589 Is he... 1422 01:27:03,624 --> 01:27:05,019 Is he dead? 1423 01:27:08,926 --> 01:27:10,761 Yeah. 1424 01:27:11,764 --> 01:27:13,467 Thanks, Linda. 1425 01:27:13,502 --> 01:27:16,470 Well, it's nice to do something as a family for a change. 1426 01:27:17,770 --> 01:27:19,341 Oh, shit! 1427 01:27:19,376 --> 01:27:21,167 I'm gonna... 1428 01:27:25,349 --> 01:27:26,975 That was for Morgan. 1429 01:27:27,010 --> 01:27:31,782 He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot. 1430 01:27:33,214 --> 01:27:35,654 Oh. Trudy! 1431 01:27:35,689 --> 01:27:37,953 Mommy! 1432 01:27:37,988 --> 01:27:39,757 Thank God, baby. 1433 01:27:39,792 --> 01:27:41,627 Are you okay? 1434 01:27:41,662 --> 01:27:43,332 I'm okay, Mommy. 1435 01:27:43,367 --> 01:27:44,531 Okay. 1436 01:27:44,566 --> 01:27:46,962 This is my friend, Santa. 1437 01:27:51,474 --> 01:27:53,507 What the fuck? 1438 01:27:53,542 --> 01:27:55,344 I can't thank you enough, Mister... 1439 01:27:55,379 --> 01:27:57,709 Claus. But please call me Santa. 1440 01:27:57,744 --> 01:27:59,205 Mm-hmm. 1441 01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:01,108 You guys should get out of here. 1442 01:28:01,143 --> 01:28:02,681 It's dangerous. 1443 01:28:02,716 --> 01:28:04,881 They took my husband and her grandmother. 1444 01:28:06,918 --> 01:28:08,456 Anybody know how to work these gizmos? 1445 01:28:08,491 --> 01:28:09,853 I think so. 1446 01:28:09,888 --> 01:28:11,525 I used to hunt with my dad. 1447 01:28:11,560 --> 01:28:12,724 Ow. 1448 01:28:12,759 --> 01:28:14,561 Copy that. How's that looking? 1449 01:28:14,596 --> 01:28:17,124 - Yeah, I got it on lockdown. - Heads on a swivel, boys. 1450 01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:20,061 - Incoming! - Heads up! 1451 01:28:21,570 --> 01:28:22,998 Oh, oh! Who's shooting? 1452 01:28:23,033 --> 01:28:24,835 Who's... 1453 01:28:24,870 --> 01:28:27,574 - Cap, get down! - Watch it! Watch it! 1454 01:28:32,911 --> 01:28:35,109 Gun 'em down. Mow them all down. 1455 01:28:51,193 --> 01:28:53,930 -All right, let's get the fuck out of here. -Let's go. 1456 01:28:53,965 --> 01:28:56,372 - Go where? - Come on, move, you old bat. 1457 01:28:57,298 --> 01:28:58,968 Get your fucking hands off of me. 1458 01:29:09,145 --> 01:29:11,552 Oh! Oh, shit. 1459 01:29:11,587 --> 01:29:14,819 My balls! My fucking balls! 1460 01:29:31,838 --> 01:29:34,410 Ow, my balls! Why did you shoot me in the ball... 1461 01:29:38,174 --> 01:29:40,614 Oh, Jesus. 1462 01:29:40,649 --> 01:29:42,209 Sorry. 1463 01:29:44,312 --> 01:29:46,818 Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus. We got this. 1464 01:29:46,853 --> 01:29:49,150 Who is that guy? 1465 01:29:49,185 --> 01:29:51,493 He said he was Mr. Claus. 1466 01:29:53,453 --> 01:29:55,497 - Fuck. Trudy. - No, no. 1467 01:29:55,532 --> 01:29:56,993 She's in the house. She's okay. 1468 01:29:57,028 --> 01:29:58,500 She's safe. 1469 01:29:58,535 --> 01:30:00,667 - Oh, thank God. - Yeah. 1470 01:30:21,349 --> 01:30:22,920 No, no. 1471 01:30:22,955 --> 01:30:25,494 - Oh... go, go, go, go, go. - No, no, no. Wait, wait. 1472 01:31:11,267 --> 01:31:13,575 Oh, shit! 1473 01:31:16,107 --> 01:31:18,613 Ho, ho! 1474 01:31:20,507 --> 01:31:21,550 Fuck! 1475 01:32:05,486 --> 01:32:07,827 Fucking die. 1476 01:33:01,278 --> 01:33:03,113 Come on. Come on. Come on. 1477 01:33:03,148 --> 01:33:06,182 Yeah, over here. Over here. 1478 01:33:06,217 --> 01:33:07,546 Santa! 1479 01:33:08,516 --> 01:33:10,285 Come on! 1480 01:33:10,320 --> 01:33:11,858 Yeah. 1481 01:33:55,596 --> 01:33:56,672 Fuck. 1482 01:34:20,555 --> 01:34:22,588 You're real? 1483 01:34:24,064 --> 01:34:26,361 You're... him. 1484 01:34:29,366 --> 01:34:30,871 You're you. 1485 01:34:30,906 --> 01:34:33,500 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 1486 01:34:33,535 --> 01:34:36,745 The real goddamn Santa Claus. 1487 01:34:36,780 --> 01:34:39,275 This is not your night, pal. 1488 01:34:39,310 --> 01:34:42,443 Oh, I don't know. I think you're wrong. 1489 01:34:42,478 --> 01:34:45,754 I think my whole shitty life's built up to this moment. 1490 01:34:45,789 --> 01:34:47,217 Because when I kill you, 1491 01:34:47,252 --> 01:34:50,385 this whole goddamn holiday finally ends. 1492 01:34:52,290 --> 01:34:53,927 Whatever it takes... 1493 01:34:55,898 --> 01:34:57,931 Christmas dies tonight. 1494 01:35:50,282 --> 01:35:51,776 Whoa! 1495 01:37:17,105 --> 01:37:19,600 The last Christmas. 1496 01:37:29,645 --> 01:37:31,953 Not if you still believe. 1497 01:37:33,913 --> 01:37:35,924 No! 1498 01:38:04,185 --> 01:38:07,516 I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. 1499 01:38:10,026 --> 01:38:11,927 But this ends now. 1500 01:38:17,099 --> 01:38:18,824 Damn right it does. 1501 01:38:28,044 --> 01:38:30,011 Trudy, be careful. 1502 01:38:33,874 --> 01:38:35,775 Santa! 1503 01:38:35,810 --> 01:38:38,151 Oh, no. Santa. 1504 01:38:39,715 --> 01:38:41,187 Oh, no. 1505 01:38:48,163 --> 01:38:50,130 You saved my daughter. 1506 01:38:51,133 --> 01:38:52,528 No. 1507 01:38:53,531 --> 01:38:55,003 She saved me. 1508 01:38:55,038 --> 01:38:57,929 Help him. Please help him. 1509 01:38:57,964 --> 01:39:00,305 Honey, I don't think there's anything we can do. 1510 01:39:00,340 --> 01:39:01,636 It's okay. It's okay. 1511 01:39:01,671 --> 01:39:03,803 It's too late for that. 1512 01:39:03,838 --> 01:39:05,981 Too late. 1513 01:39:06,973 --> 01:39:09,776 I'm cold. 1514 01:39:09,811 --> 01:39:11,844 I haven't felt cold in years. 1515 01:39:11,879 --> 01:39:13,912 We need to keep him warm. 1516 01:39:14,981 --> 01:39:17,190 All of the fires are going out. 1517 01:39:17,225 --> 01:39:19,357 We need to find something to burn. 1518 01:39:20,756 --> 01:39:22,195 I got an idea. 1519 01:39:25,365 --> 01:39:27,068 Whoa. 1520 01:39:28,731 --> 01:39:30,236 No. 1521 01:39:30,271 --> 01:39:32,469 No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no. 1522 01:39:32,504 --> 01:39:33,569 Please, Santa. 1523 01:39:33,604 --> 01:39:36,374 I don't want you to die. 1524 01:39:39,742 --> 01:39:41,346 Jason, let's slow this down. 1525 01:39:41,381 --> 01:39:42,974 What are you doing? 1526 01:39:43,009 --> 01:39:46,351 I've lived longer than any man should ever live. 1527 01:39:46,386 --> 01:39:48,980 He's pretty much dead. What the hell is happening? 1528 01:39:49,015 --> 01:39:51,059 - You don't need to burn money. - Okay. More. Yeah. 1529 01:39:51,094 --> 01:39:54,392 You can't die, Santa. You have to get up. 1530 01:39:54,427 --> 01:39:56,889 I think I used up all my Christmas magic. 1531 01:39:57,859 --> 01:39:59,397 Sorry. 1532 01:40:01,731 --> 01:40:05,370 I'm s... I'm sorry I can't give you what you asked for. 1533 01:40:06,868 --> 01:40:09,209 Take that. Take that. 1534 01:40:09,244 --> 01:40:10,639 But you did. 1535 01:40:13,611 --> 01:40:15,743 Santa, please don't die. 1536 01:40:15,778 --> 01:40:18,416 Wake up. Wake up. 1537 01:40:18,451 --> 01:40:21,012 We need to get him close to the fire. 1538 01:40:21,047 --> 01:40:22,882 Jason. 1539 01:40:23,819 --> 01:40:25,555 Just wake up. 1540 01:40:26,591 --> 01:40:28,019 Please. 1541 01:40:28,054 --> 01:40:29,922 No. 1542 01:40:34,302 --> 01:40:37,402 Oh, I am so, so sorry. 1543 01:40:42,508 --> 01:40:45,179 This man... 1544 01:40:46,248 --> 01:40:49,744 This brave, brave man, whoever he was... 1545 01:40:49,779 --> 01:40:51,075 He's Santa. 1546 01:40:51,110 --> 01:40:53,418 The real Santa. He is. 1547 01:40:53,453 --> 01:40:56,322 And I still believe in him. 1548 01:40:57,325 --> 01:40:59,952 I'll always believe in you, Santa. 1549 01:41:04,695 --> 01:41:06,431 I believe in him, too. 1550 01:41:09,667 --> 01:41:12,437 He saved Trudy. 1551 01:41:12,472 --> 01:41:14,538 He saved our family. 1552 01:41:16,707 --> 01:41:18,872 What's realer than that? 1553 01:41:22,845 --> 01:41:24,614 Then maybe... 1554 01:41:27,223 --> 01:41:29,157 I believe in him, too. 1555 01:41:30,149 --> 01:41:31,621 So do I. 1556 01:41:32,657 --> 01:41:36,021 Oh, shit. 1557 01:41:36,056 --> 01:41:38,199 I guess... 1558 01:41:38,234 --> 01:41:40,300 I guess I do, too. 1559 01:41:40,335 --> 01:41:42,093 Fuck me. 1560 01:41:42,128 --> 01:41:43,864 I believe, too. 1561 01:41:54,382 --> 01:41:55,810 Oh, my God. 1562 01:41:55,845 --> 01:41:57,042 Santa! 1563 01:42:02,049 --> 01:42:03,488 You... 1564 01:42:05,426 --> 01:42:07,228 You were dead. 1565 01:42:08,231 --> 01:42:10,891 Christmas magic. 1566 01:42:10,926 --> 01:42:13,465 I still don't really understand... 1567 01:42:13,500 --> 01:42:15,170 how it works. 1568 01:42:20,936 --> 01:42:23,068 Thank you. 1569 01:42:23,103 --> 01:42:25,136 I don't know how we can ever repay you. 1570 01:42:25,171 --> 01:42:27,072 Well, you brought me back from the dead, 1571 01:42:27,107 --> 01:42:28,579 so we'll call it even. 1572 01:42:29,846 --> 01:42:31,318 Even? 1573 01:42:31,353 --> 01:42:33,683 We just burned half a million dollars. 1574 01:42:34,719 --> 01:42:36,180 - Look, Santa! - Hmm? 1575 01:42:36,215 --> 01:42:37,687 Look who came. 1576 01:42:44,927 --> 01:42:48,335 Now you show up, huh? 1577 01:42:48,370 --> 01:42:49,897 You leave me here to die, 1578 01:42:49,932 --> 01:42:52,196 come back after all the work's done, huh? 1579 01:42:52,231 --> 01:42:54,902 You know what? I should make you guys into a stew 1580 01:42:54,937 --> 01:42:56,937 and feed you to the elves! 1581 01:42:59,205 --> 01:43:03,845 Yes, Blitzen! Yes, I'm talking to you! 1582 01:43:03,880 --> 01:43:05,781 You, too, Prancer. 1583 01:43:11,250 --> 01:43:13,558 You got my sack. 1584 01:43:13,593 --> 01:43:17,430 My spare... You went home and you got my spare sack? 1585 01:43:19,566 --> 01:43:22,193 Oh, God, I can't stay mad at you guys. 1586 01:43:22,228 --> 01:43:23,931 I... 1587 01:43:23,966 --> 01:43:28,133 Aw. I can't. I can't. 1588 01:43:28,168 --> 01:43:30,905 Aw. 1589 01:43:31,941 --> 01:43:34,040 Aw. 1590 01:43:44,954 --> 01:43:46,591 Hello, beautiful. 1591 01:43:46,626 --> 01:43:48,296 Skullcrusher! 1592 01:44:01,509 --> 01:44:03,102 Guess this is goodbye. 1593 01:44:03,137 --> 01:44:04,444 I got to go. 1594 01:44:05,546 --> 01:44:07,447 Do you have to? 1595 01:44:11,046 --> 01:44:13,244 It's Christmas Eve, and there's a lot of... 1596 01:44:13,279 --> 01:44:14,850 boys and girls on the nice list 1597 01:44:14,885 --> 01:44:17,182 that want their presents, you know? 1598 01:44:19,362 --> 01:44:20,889 Thank you. 1599 01:44:21,892 --> 01:44:23,628 For what? 1600 01:44:23,663 --> 01:44:25,465 For believing in me. 1601 01:44:25,500 --> 01:44:28,402 For reminding me that Christmas still matters. 1602 01:44:30,131 --> 01:44:32,670 And that I still... 1603 01:44:32,705 --> 01:44:34,870 matter. 1604 01:44:36,643 --> 01:44:38,577 You gave me my "ho, ho, ho" back. 1605 01:44:48,688 --> 01:44:50,853 All right. Get out of here. 1606 01:44:54,727 --> 01:44:57,398 Merry Christmas! 1607 01:45:00,062 --> 01:45:01,325 Hyah! 1608 01:45:01,360 --> 01:45:04,834 Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! 1609 01:45:04,869 --> 01:45:06,968 Now, Prancer and Vixen! 1610 01:45:07,003 --> 01:45:10,334 On, Comet! On, Cupid! 1611 01:45:10,369 --> 01:45:13,381 On, Donner and Blitzen! 1612 01:45:13,416 --> 01:45:17,077 Come on, you beautiful bastards! 1613 01:45:17,112 --> 01:45:20,311 We've got some work to do! 1614 01:45:20,346 --> 01:45:23,391 Hyah! 1615 01:45:23,426 --> 01:45:26,020 Ho, ho, ho! 1616 01:45:26,055 --> 01:45:29,254 Merry Christmas! 1617 01:45:40,476 --> 01:45:46,139 ♪ Are you hanging up your stocking on your wall? ♪ 1618 01:45:48,374 --> 01:45:54,048 ♪ It's the time that every Santa has a ball ♪ 1619 01:45:55,953 --> 01:45:59,757 ♪ Does he ride a red-nosed reindeer? ♪ 1620 01:45:59,792 --> 01:46:03,464 ♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪ 1621 01:46:03,499 --> 01:46:09,129 ♪ Do the fairies keep him sober for a day? ♪ 1622 01:46:10,132 --> 01:46:12,440 ♪ So here it is ♪ 1623 01:46:12,475 --> 01:46:14,442 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 1624 01:46:14,477 --> 01:46:19,040 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 1625 01:46:19,075 --> 01:46:22,373 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 1626 01:46:22,408 --> 01:46:29,622 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 1627 01:46:29,657 --> 01:46:35,353 ♪ Are you waiting for the family to arrive? ♪ 1628 01:46:37,324 --> 01:46:39,467 ♪ Are you sure you got ♪ 1629 01:46:39,502 --> 01:46:42,932 ♪ The room to spare inside? ♪ 1630 01:46:44,804 --> 01:46:48,432 ♪ Does your granny always tell ya ♪ 1631 01:46:48,467 --> 01:46:52,172 ♪ That the old songs are the best? ♪ 1632 01:46:52,207 --> 01:46:55,175 ♪ Then she's up and rock-and-rolling ♪ 1633 01:46:55,210 --> 01:46:57,617 ♪ With the rest ♪ 1634 01:46:57,652 --> 01:46:59,817 Hey, yo! What's Gucci, squad fam? 1635 01:46:59,852 --> 01:47:02,952 It's the Bert Locker, living the dream. 1636 01:47:02,987 --> 01:47:05,020 You know what? See this guy? Dead as hell. 1637 01:47:05,055 --> 01:47:06,791 Santa's real, all right? 1638 01:47:06,826 --> 01:47:08,628 Don't end up on the naughty list. 1639 01:47:08,663 --> 01:47:09,959 Do better. 1640 01:47:09,994 --> 01:47:12,093 Bert Lightstone out. 1641 01:47:12,128 --> 01:47:14,161 ♪ So here it is ♪ 1642 01:47:14,196 --> 01:47:16,163 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 1643 01:47:16,198 --> 01:47:20,607 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 1644 01:47:20,642 --> 01:47:23,973 ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 1645 01:47:24,008 --> 01:47:30,177 ♪ It's only just begun ♪ 1646 01:47:30,212 --> 01:47:32,520 ♪ So here it is ♪ 1647 01:47:32,555 --> 01:47:34,522 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 1648 01:47:34,557 --> 01:47:37,822 ♪ Everybody's having fun ♪ 1649 01:47:37,857 --> 01:47:42,288 - ♪ It's Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Look to the future now ♪ 1650 01:47:42,323 --> 01:47:49,966 ♪ It's only just begun. ♪ 1651 01:47:53,367 --> 01:47:55,004 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 1652 01:47:55,039 --> 01:47:57,237 ♪ Let's be good ♪ 1653 01:47:57,272 --> 01:48:01,142 - ♪ This coming yuletide ♪ - ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪ 1654 01:48:01,177 --> 01:48:03,584 ♪ Or you'll see ♪ 1655 01:48:03,619 --> 01:48:08,919 ♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪ 1656 01:48:08,954 --> 01:48:12,219 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 1657 01:48:12,254 --> 01:48:15,354 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 1658 01:48:15,389 --> 01:48:18,390 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 1659 01:48:18,425 --> 01:48:21,426 - ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ - ♪ Unhappy! ♪ 1660 01:48:21,461 --> 01:48:24,869 ♪ He's told you once, he's told you twice ♪ 1661 01:48:24,904 --> 01:48:27,872 ♪ Too much naughty, not enough nice ♪ 1662 01:48:27,907 --> 01:48:33,042 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 1663 01:48:34,408 --> 01:48:37,343 ♪ Where's the love and where's the joy? ♪ 1664 01:48:37,378 --> 01:48:40,544 ♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪ 1665 01:48:40,579 --> 01:48:45,791 ♪ Santa Claus has had enough of Christmas ♪ 1666 01:48:45,826 --> 01:48:51,929 ♪ Ah... ♪ 1667 01:48:53,735 --> 01:48:55,867 ♪ Santa's getting mad ♪ 1668 01:48:55,902 --> 01:48:57,968 - ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪ - ♪ Better not be bad ♪ 1669 01:48:58,003 --> 01:49:00,564 -♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪ 1670 01:49:00,599 --> 01:49:03,303 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 1671 01:49:03,338 --> 01:49:06,647 - ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ - ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪ 1672 01:49:06,682 --> 01:49:09,881 ♪ If you don't want ♪ 1673 01:49:09,916 --> 01:49:12,950 ♪ Coal this Christmas ♪ 1674 01:49:12,985 --> 01:49:16,118 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1675 01:49:16,153 --> 01:49:19,319 ♪ Make sure you keep Santa jolly ♪ 1676 01:49:19,354 --> 01:49:22,553 ♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪ 1677 01:49:22,588 --> 01:49:27,129 ♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪ 1678 01:49:27,164 --> 01:49:30,330 ♪ Santa's getting mad, better not be bad ♪ 1679 01:49:30,365 --> 01:49:33,641 ♪ Gonna go to bed on time this Christmas ♪ 1680 01:49:33,676 --> 01:49:36,600 ♪ We don't want to be on that list ♪ 1681 01:49:36,635 --> 01:49:39,812 - ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪ - ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪ 1682 01:49:39,847 --> 01:49:42,573 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1683 01:49:42,608 --> 01:49:44,410 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1684 01:49:44,445 --> 01:49:47,787 ♪ Don't make him crazy ♪ 1685 01:49:47,822 --> 01:49:49,283 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1686 01:49:49,318 --> 01:49:52,451 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1687 01:49:52,486 --> 01:49:55,487 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1688 01:49:55,522 --> 01:49:58,798 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1689 01:49:58,833 --> 01:50:01,669 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1690 01:50:01,704 --> 01:50:03,627 ♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪ 1691 01:50:03,662 --> 01:50:06,674 ♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪ 1692 01:50:06,709 --> 01:50:09,468 ♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ 1693 01:50:09,503 --> 01:50:11,140 ♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪ 1694 01:50:11,175 --> 01:50:12,845 ♪ My true love gave to me ♪ 1695 01:50:12,880 --> 01:50:15,606 ♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪ 1696 01:50:15,641 --> 01:50:18,510 ♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪ 1697 01:50:18,545 --> 01:50:21,381 ♪ Jingle bells. ♪ 1698 01:50:44,340 --> 01:50:47,044 ♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪ 1699 01:50:47,079 --> 01:50:50,212 ♪ In heaven, the bells are ringing ♪ 1700 01:51:09,871 --> 01:51:17,871 ♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪ 1701 01:51:17,978 --> 01:51:20,176 ♪ Hosanna ♪ 1702 01:51:20,211 --> 01:51:28,085 ♪ In excelsis. ♪ 1702 01:51:29,305 --> 01:52:29,885 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today117371

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