All language subtitles for ZIWE s02e11 Miss Universe.eng
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1
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,301
elegant�music
2
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,345
[camera�flashes]
3
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,556
The�world�is�so�divided�today,
but�what�can�bring�it�together?
4
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,558
Drop-dead�gorgeous
women�competing�for�your
5
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,852
viewing�pleasure!
6
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,145
[camera�flash]
7
00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,021
[man�VO]�It's
Little�Miss�Viacom!
8
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,608
She's�cute,�she's�sweet,�and
she's�vertically�integrated.
9
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,986
I�wear�these
heels�for�world�peace.
10
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,154
[ding]
11
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,990
I�wear�this
lipstick�for�world�peace.
12
00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,199
And�I�wear�this�swimsuit
because�no�one�would�listen�to
13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,535
me�otherwise!
14
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,410
Stop�it!
15
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,244
Stop�it!
16
00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,955
Stop�it!
17
00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,831
No,�just�kidding,�don't�stop�it!
18
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:41,874
I'll�be�horny!
19
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,836
Ooh,�ahh,�ahh,�ohh,�horny�noise!
20
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,296
[camera�flash]
21
00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:47,713
[man�VO]�What�makes�you
different�from�other�girls?
22
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,965
Everything.
23
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,216
[man�VO]�Where�do�you
see�yourself�in�five�years?
24
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,802
My�high�school�graduation.
25
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,387
Goo-goo,�ga-ga.
26
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,680
[man�VO]�What's�your
favorite�mode�of�transportation?
27
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,183
Private�plane.
28
00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,933
I�take�it�to�go�to�the�grocery
store�or�to�borrow�a�cup�of
29
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,853
sugar�from�my�neighbor,�or�just
when�I�feel�like�releasing�tons
30
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,939
of�carbon.
31
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,982
[man�VO]�How�would
you�change�the�world?
32
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,735
I�wouldn't,�it's
perfect�just�the�way�it�is.
33
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,028
Unless�you�disagree,�then...
34
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,782
Beyonce�said,
"America�has�a�problem."
35
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,616
It's�a�waking�nightmare!
36
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,035
[sighs]
37
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,244
It's�not�easy�being
Miss�Congeniality.
38
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,663
[camera�flash]
39
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,499
You�have�to�learn�how�to
spell�that�very�difficult�word.
40
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,795
C-O-N...geniality?
41
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,838
-Dang�it!
-[camera�flash]
42
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,465
Winning�isn't
everything,�but�if�I�don't�win,
43
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,260
I�will�kill�the�judges
and�jump�off�a�bridge!
44
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,638
chimes
45
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,846
Tonight,�I'll�be
talking�with�Drew�Barrymore.
46
00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:43,103
Which�of�the�78�white�characters
you've�played�were�Republicans?
47
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,021
Hmm...
48
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,731
[Ziwe�VO]�Plus,�I'll�be�talking
to�professional�media�trainer
49
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,067
Melody�Kimmel.
50
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:51,652
I�mean,�that's�what�gives
this�show�its-�its�edge.
51
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:52,862
Thank�you!
52
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,113
I�like�to�think�that�my
race�makes�me�edgy�too.
53
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,532
Yeah,�well-�[laughs]
54
00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,116
[Ziwe�VO]�And�doing�a
photoshoot�with�fashion
55
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,535
magazine, � Coveteur � .
56
00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,454
Video.
Can't�Photoshop�that.
57
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,165
Let�the�pageantry�begin!
58
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,961
eerie�music�box�music
59
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,258
cool�theme�music
60
00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:57,384
My�guest�tonight�has�been
America's�Sweetheart�since�she
61
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,053
was�six�years�old.
62
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,097
She's�a�child�star�who�grew
up�right�before�our�very�eyes.
63
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,642
Find�out�who�you�are,�and...
64
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,853
try�not�to�be�afraid�of�it.
65
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,937
[Ziwe�VO]�A�teen�icon
turned�leading�lady,
66
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,024
author,�and�entrepreneur.
67
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:14,444
You�may�know�her�as�the�host
of � The�Drew�Barrymore�Show � .
68
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:15,694
Please�welcome,�Drew�Barrymore!
69
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,113
[claps]
70
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,157
Wow.
71
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:22,994
smooth�jazzy�music
72
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,080
Okay,�twerk,
twerk,�twerk.�[laughs]
73
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,332
That�was�sort�of
like�the�weirdest�twerk.
74
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,084
It...
It�was�beautiful.
75
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,128
-Like,�that's�a�twerk.
-Wow!
76
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,338
Oh�my�gosh,�who�knew�she�would
throw�it�back�within�the�first
77
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,389
five�seconds?
78
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,507
Hot.
79
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,008
We're�gonna�cut
back�to�that�a�lot.
80
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,137
I've�always,�uh,�had�a
butt�with�a�mind�of�its�own.
81
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,305
[Ziwe]�Mm!
82
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,556
Would�you�say�that�you
identify�as�"stupid�thick?"
83
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,807
What�does�"stupid�thick"�mean?
84
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:46,808
Like,�thick�in�the�head?
85
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,185
No,�"stupid�thick"
is�like,�"Oh�my�gosh,
86
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,812
she's�stupid�thick,"�like,
[Latina�accent]�"Stupid�thick."
87
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,190
I�don't�know�that�one.
88
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,524
It's�like,�"Oh!"
89
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,150
Like�Jessica
Rabbit�-�stupid�thick.
90
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:58,029
I�mean,�I'd�like�to
relate�to�Jessica�Rabbit.
91
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,781
I've�been�watching,�um,�that
movie�with�my�daughters�a�lot
92
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:04,118
lately,�and�she�is�hot.
93
00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,118
Stupid�thick.
94
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,119
She's�stupid�thick.
95
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,162
[Ziwe]�Yes.
96
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,830
So�I�read�your�book � Wildflower � .
97
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,000
You�are�such�a�vision.
98
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,043
I�mean,�this�is�why�you're
perfect�for�the�Miss�Universe
99
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,463
episode,�because�you�sort�of
embody�that�American�Sweetheart.
100
00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:19,174
So�how�do�I�rebrand�as
not�a�scary�Black�woman?
101
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,760
[laughs]
102
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,971
Well,�I...
103
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,764
[sighs]
104
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,140
I�mean,�I�don't�know,�I�don't
want�you�to�change�in�any�way,
105
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,309
shape,�or�form.
106
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,644
Wow,�thank�you.
107
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,978
That's�not�exactly
helpful,�but�I�appreciate�it.
108
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,313
It�isn't�helpful.
109
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,356
I�feel�like�this�is
The�Color�of�Friendship � ,
110
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,149
that�Disney�movie
about�South�Africa.
111
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,568
Do�you�have�any�Black
friends�at�home,�Mahree?
112
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,822
Yes,�yes,�as�a
matter�of�fact,�I�do.
113
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,907
It's�wild�because�you�have
such�a�relatable�and�grounded
114
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:47,035
personality,�so�do�you
think�that�you're�appropriating
115
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,038
average�person�culture.
116
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,623
Oh,�God..
117
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:55,295
[sighs]
I�would�like�to�say�that...
118
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:58,131
that�I�am...
119
00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,384
I'm�so�[beep]�normal,�and�yet
120
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:05,888
I'm�so�embarrassed�and
aware�of�how�privileged�I�am.
121
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:11,018
I�feel�like�Josie�Grossy,�but�am
I�appropriating�normal�people?
122
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:14,981
I�don't�know,�I�just-�like,�my
fabulous�Hollywood�family�was
123
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,151
dead�and�gone,�and,�like,
had�sold�everything�off.
124
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,193
Like,�I�don't�even
have�a�family�heirloom.
125
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,989
-Mm.
-I�don't�have�anything.
126
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,448
Same,�but�for
different�reasons.
127
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,908
[whispering]�Poverty.
128
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,243
[whispering]�Poverty?
129
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,454
[whispering]�My
parents�fled�a�war.
130
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,164
[whispering]�I'm�sorry.
131
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:35,168
But�it's�weird�because
I've�lived�a�privileged�and
132
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,421
blessed�life...
133
00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,881
I've�also�[beep]�up�a�lot,
and�I've�seen�a�lot�of�shit,
134
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:41,631
you�know?
135
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,718
And�I've�spent�a�lot�of�time
traveling�throughout�the�world
136
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,471
and�looking�around�and
trying�not�to�be�some�bougie,
137
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:51,017
insular,�coastal�person.
138
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,353
And�I�just�wish�that�we�could
take�care�of�each�other�in�the
139
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,147
best�way�possible.
140
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,315
I'm�convinced�that's
what�we're�here�to�do.
141
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,150
I�mean,�what�do�you�think?
Like-
142
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,194
I�think�that�you�just
gave�the�perfect�answer,
143
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,265
and�somehow�related�to
small-town�people�while�also
144
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,825
centering�yourself
in�your�experiences,
145
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:11,286
and�I'm�kind�of�annoyed�for�how
Miss-America-perfect�you�are.
146
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,455
So�Charlies�Angels,
are�they�pro-cop?
147
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,833
[dramatic�thud]
148
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,668
Um,�well,�they're�detectives.
149
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,629
So�they�are�the�police?
150
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:22,297
You�know, � Charlie's�Angels
is�what�coined�a�thing�called
151
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:25,426
"jiggle�TV,"�um,
back�in�the�day.
152
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,512
Does�anyone
remember�jiggle�TV?
153
00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,137
We're�gonna�assume�it�was
what�you�were�doing�when�you
154
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,431
walked�out?
155
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,765
We're�gonna�cut
back�to�that�a�lot.
156
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:35,228
At�the�time,�in�1999,
157
00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,106
my�big�battle�was�true�female
158
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:42,276
friendship�and
comedy�and�no�guns.
159
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,945
Mm!
160
00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,154
But�at�the�time,�I�wasn't�in
the�place�in�my�life�where�I
161
00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:49,992
was,�like,
feminist,�like,�you�know,
162
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,954
no�touchy-grabby,�no�jokes.
163
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:57,708
Like,�I-�I�should�go�back�and
look�at�those�movies�with�the
164
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,086
eyes�of�today's�culture.
165
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,130
Who�was�someone�-�a�woman�of
color�-�that�you�would�consider
166
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,259
a�girl-next-door,�a
Miss�America,�Miss�Universe?
167
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,594
I�mean...
168
00:07:08,802 --> 00:07:11,431
I-�I�love�Tina�Turner.
169
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,973
What's�your
favorite�Tina�Turner�song?
170
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,476
I�mean,�ironically,
it's�the�one�with�Ike.
171
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,270
Oh�my�gosh!
172
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,439
mimicking�Tina�Turner
173
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,109
[mumbling]�the
wedding�bells
174
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,652
Wow.
175
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,319
Um,�she's�so
pissed�right�now.
176
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,321
She's�just�like,�"Why
are�you�doing�that�to�me?"
177
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,614
[Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe � ...
178
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,616
I�literally�have,
like,�a�white�dog�too,
179
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,327
and�I�feel�guilty.
180
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,162
Would�you�like�to
apologize�to�your�white�dog?
181
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,791
I'm�sorry,�Lucy,�I-�I
should�never�have�adopted�you.
182
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,002
[laughs]
183
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,295
She's�really�white.
184
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,796
[man�VO]�Cancelled!
185
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,506
jaunty�music
186
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:49,510
My�normal-sized�little
teeth�are�so�small�and�boring.
187
00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,470
[woman�VO]�Introducing�Chompers!
188
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,222
Chompers�Cosmetics�believes
every�woman�is�born�potentially
189
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,766
deserving�of�love.
190
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,809
And�through�a
highly-experimental�Brazilian
191
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,520
teeth�lift,�you�can�finally�have
that�smile�that�lets�you�reach
192
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,315
that�potential!
193
00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:06,527
Before�I�got�my�BTL,�my
bottom�six�were�rock�bottom.
194
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:10,197
Now,�the�boys�are�rock
hard�because�I'm�a�big-toothed
195
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,990
diva�bitch!
196
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,658
-[pop]
-[chuckles]
197
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,667
With�my�new�teeth...
198
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,591
I�thought�teeth�were
just�for,�you�know,
199
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,219
chomping�on�hard
things�like�apples,
200
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,387
crab�legs,�stuff�like�that.
201
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,432
I�mean,�these
chompers�got�me�a�young,
202
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,434
fine-ass�boyfriend.
203
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,603
And�then�I�dumped�him�[laughs]
so�I�could�get�an�even�finer,
204
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,272
younger�boyfriend.
205
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,191
[laughs]
206
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,400
[woman�VO]�Fillers,
implants,�and�generally�being
207
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,195
sexy�are�out.
208
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,907
You�know�what�they�say:
girls�with�big�teeth...
209
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,826
accidentally�bite�it�off.
210
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,495
Oops!
[chuckles]
211
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,830
At�first,�I�was�nervous�because
50�percent�of�women�die�during
212
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:03,042
this�surgery.
213
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,586
But�on�the�bright
side,�50�percent�live!
214
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,214
upbeat�music
215
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,882
[woman�VO]�And�guess�what!
216
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,801
The�free�consultation�ensures
you're�gonna�feel�like�shit.
217
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,262
[email�sending�whoosh]
218
00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,222
I�only�eat�soft�food�now,�okay?
219
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,432
Ricotta�girls,�make�somme�noise!
220
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:19,684
[trills]
221
00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,397
[woman�VO]�Only�at
Chompers�Cosmetics.
222
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,399
jaunty�music
223
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,819
Beauty�is�in�the�eye�of�the
nice�man�holding�the�crown.
224
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,821
jaunty�music
225
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,489
exciting�strings
226
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,116
You�consume�a�lot�of�news.
227
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,909
I'm�a�news�junkie.
228
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,244
Obsessed.
229
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,453
What's�your
favorite�Black�publication?
230
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,539
Um,�I�really�like�what
they're�doing�with � Essence � .
231
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,500
They�had�a�new�editor�come�in.
232
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,668
I�would�love�to�see�you�on
the�cover�of � Essence�Magazine � .
233
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,503
I�would�love�to�be�on
the�cover�of � Essence � .
234
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,338
I�don't�think�I'm�allowed
on�the�cover�of � Essence � .
235
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,426
Like,�AARP,�I'm�not�50
yet,�they�won't�let�me�do�it.
236
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,094
Fingers�crossed,�one�day!
237
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,636
But�I'll�get�there�one�day.
238
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:57,887
I�don't�think�I'm�ever
gonna�get�to � Essence � status.
239
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,766
With�the�right
bronzer,�you�never�know.
240
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,560
So�you�were
emancipated�at�14�years�old.
241
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,313
Where�do�you�stand�on�the
Emancipation�Proclamation?
242
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,482
Um,�I�am�for�freedoms.
243
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,484
Is�that�the�right�answer?
244
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,484
You�tell�me,�Drew.
245
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:14,530
[ticking]
246
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,198
[ding]
247
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,575
Here's�a�question:�at�age�six,
you�got�your�first�role�in � ET.
248
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,827
Where�do�you�stand
on�child�labor�laws?
249
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,955
There's�no�room
for�child�labor.
250
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:27,710
I�often,�uh,�question
whether�they�should�even
251
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,629
allow�child�actors.
252
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,005
Wow!
253
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,342
It's�weird�because�I�love
my�life�and�wouldn't�change
254
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,635
a�thing.
255
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:40,014
But�it�is�a�very
strange�thing�for�kids.
256
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,807
Mm.
257
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:45,978
I�want�my�kids�to�know�how�to
do�laundry�and�summer�intern�and
258
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,688
earn�their�money�and�do
their�chores�and�all�that�stuff,
259
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,650
and,�um...
260
00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:54,570
It's�funny;�I�was�traveling
through�Europe�this�summer�and
261
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,696
it�was�interesting
to�be�away�from�home.
262
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,864
[tape�fast-forwarding]
263
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,075
You�know�what?
264
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,367
Paw�Patrol, � with
all�due�respect...
265
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,827
[tape�fast-forwarding]
266
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,787
And�it's�funny,�too,�because
my�libidos�been�dead�for,
267
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,331
like,�almost�a�decade...
268
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,539
[tape�fast-forwarding]
269
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,752
Love�to�be�compared�or
confused�by-�to-�as�Zendaya...
270
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,253
[tape�fast-forwarding]
271
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,380
I�want�a�lot�of,�like,
death�and�frying�pans...
272
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,673
[tape�fast-forwarding]
273
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,466
I�was�like,�"Here�I
am,�gynecogical�table,
274
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,467
let's�go..."
275
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,010
[tape�fast-forwarding]
276
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,804
Gee�willikers,�we�really
learned�a�great�lesson�today!
277
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,181
[tape�fast-forwarding]
278
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,641
And�then�I�walked�into�a�museum
in�none�other�than�a�small�town
279
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,685
in�Italy�and�there
was�one�of�her�pieces.
280
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,022
Um...but...
281
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,564
Wait,�shit,�what
was�the�question?
282
00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,775
[beep].
283
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,528
I�went�so�far�off
on�my�own�tangent.
284
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,656
[sips]
285
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,073
[Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe � ...
286
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,701
How�would�you�empower
someone�like�Harriet�Tubman?
287
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,244
She's�one�of�my
daughter's�favorites.
288
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,705
Wait,�really?!
289
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:49,458
She's�really�been�in�love�with
important�figures�like�Harriet
290
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,544
Tubman,�Martin�Luther...
291
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,670
Shout�out.
292
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,503
chimes
293
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,090
What's�the�difference�between
Miss�America�and�Miss�Universe?
294
00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,711
Get�a�passport�and�find�out.
295
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,469
jaunty�music
296
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,430
So�when�I�went�on�your
show,�we�played�Drew's�News.
297
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,225
We've�got�a�spooky
little�show�for�you�today!
298
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,562
This�is...quorn,�with�a�Q.
299
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:13,064
I�have�a�lower�back�tattoo,�I
don't�wanna�be�called�a�"tramp!"
300
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,650
So,�I�figured�you'd�come�on
my�show�and�we'd�play�Ziwe's
301
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,777
Drew's�News.
302
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,863
Make�a�jingle�up!
303
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,450
Ziwe,�Ziwe
304
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,619
The�only�way�I�want
305
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,621
Is�Ziwe
306
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,707
Drew's�News!
307
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,043
Ziwe,�Ziwe
308
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:36,297
-Shake�it,�shake�it!
- � Drew's�News�and�Ziwe
309
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,089
Jiggle�Cam,�Jiggle
Cam,�close�up,�close�up!
310
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,550
-Ziwe,�Ziwe
-[Ziwe]�Jiggle�Cam,�Jiggle�Cam!
311
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,846
Guess�what
way�we're�going
312
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,556
To�Drew's�News!
313
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,767
Okay,�so�you're�gonna�read�the
news�on�these�respective�cards,
314
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,603
and�you're�going�to�also
tell�us�how�they�make�you�feel.
315
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,273
-[Drew]�laughs]
-Sad�or�happy.
316
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,941
[buzzer]
317
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,526
Yup.
318
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,278
-Okay,�read�the�news.
-Okay.
319
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,780
"Founding�Father�Benjamin
Franklin�wanted�the�national
320
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,742
bird�to�be�a�turkey,
and�also,�he�had�slaves."
321
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,619
Happy�or�sad?
322
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,079
[buzzer]
323
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:13,834
"Sojourner�Truth
was�#momgoals�in�1828.
324
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,962
She�sued�for�her�son's�freedom."
325
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,756
Ohh...
Yes.
326
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,340
[woman�VO]�Yes,�it�is�bad!
327
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,675
Can�I�keep�this�card?
328
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,176
Yes,�I'll�sign�it�for�you.
329
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,596
I�would�like�to
study�her�with�the�girls.
330
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,598
upbeat�lounge�music
331
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,519
"France�required�Haiti�to�pay
them�150�million�francs�for
332
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,910
their�freedom�under
threat�of�violence."
333
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,108
This�is�wrong.
334
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,526
No,�that's�a�fact,�Drew!
335
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,779
I-�I�know,�but�it's�wrong.
336
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,365
-Ethically.
-[Drew]�Yes.�[sighs]
337
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,200
[buzzer]
338
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,660
Drew�Barrymore,�you're
an�icon,�you're�a�legend,
339
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,371
you're�America's�Sweetheart-
340
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:52,997
It's�funny;�I�don't�see
myself�any�of�those�ways.
341
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,834
Well,�you�are�those�ways,�and
I�can�name�78�films�in�which
342
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,395
you're�exactly�that�person.
343
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,949
All�which�I'm
appropriating�normal�people,
344
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:00,922
I'm�sorry.
345
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,758
Well,�you�can�apologize�again.
346
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,595
If�it's�any�consolation,�when�I
know�I've�done�something�wrong,
347
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,555
I�will�beat�the
shit�out�of�myself...
348
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,225
-[Ziwe]�Oh�my�gosh!
-Until�I�get�it�right.
349
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:16,313
I�think�of�someone-�a�hero�of
mine�who�famously�messed�up�and
350
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,565
named�one�Miss
Universe�instead�of�another,
351
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,984
and�then�he�righted�that�wrong,
and�then�he�became�the�Miss
352
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,027
Universe�guy,�and
that's�Steve�Harvey.
353
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,573
And�today,�you
remind�me�of�my�dear,
354
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:28,784
dear�icon�and
hero,�Mr�Steve�Harvey.
355
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,618
[Drew]�That's
right,�I�remember�that.
356
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,163
Who�is�your�hero�going�back?
357
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,285
[Ziwe]�Ida�B�Wells.
358
00:14:34,286 --> 00:14:36,708
If�we're�talking�about
American�journalism,
359
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,418
she�is�one�of�the�pathfinders.
360
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,836
That's�my�daughter's
other�favorite�person!
361
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,670
Shut�up,�you�know
who�Ida�B.�Wells�is?
362
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,006
[Drew]�Yes!
363
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,007
-heartwarming�music
-[electronic�chimes]
364
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,675
[both]�[chanting]�Ida�B�Wells!
Ida�B�Wells!
365
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,969
Ida�B�Wells!
366
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,596
And�that's�our�show.
367
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,013
Drew�Barrymore,�everyone!
368
00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,473
[applause]
369
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,601
What�a�star!
370
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,517
[both�VO]
[chanting]�Ida�B�Wells!
371
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:55,603
Ida�B�Wells!
372
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,694
Ida�B�Wells!
373
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:57,687
Ida�B�Wells!
374
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,690
[ding]
375
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,734
elegant�music
376
00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,777
When�women�compete...
377
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,237
we�all�win.
378
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,406
jaunty�music
379
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,489
Media�training.
380
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,450
It's�the
foundation�of�our�industry.
381
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,703
Is�there�anything�or�nothing
in�that�list�you�would�like�to
382
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,080
clear�up?
383
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:18,417
[Ziwe�VO]�That's�why�I'll
be�talking�to�Melody�Kimmel.
384
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,710
She's�a�professional�media
trainer�who�works�with�public
385
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,901
figures�to�shape�positive
interactions�with�the�press.
386
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:25,799
Hi,�Melody!
387
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,383
I'm�excited�to
chat�with�you�today.
388
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:28,884
You�know,�I'm�a�public�figure,
I'm�hoping�to�get�better�at
389
00:15:28,885 --> 00:15:30,511
media,�so�this�is
going�to�be�great.
390
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,847
Can�I�tell�you�a�traumatic�story
from�my�childhood�and�you�tell
391
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,891
me�if�it's�good�for
packaging�in�interviews?
392
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,842
-Oh,�that�doesn't�sound�good.
-All�my�life�[bleep].
393
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,648
[bleep]
394
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,444
Okay.
395
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,070
Should�I-�should�we-
should�I�keep�moving?
396
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,740
cheerful�muzak
397
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,661
So�there's�three�really
important�steps�to�preparation.
398
00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,079
First�of�all,�you�wanna
know�what�you're�getting�into.
399
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,081
Think�about�the
questions�you're�going�to�get...
400
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,541
Mm.
401
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,750
'Cause�then�you�can�think
about�how�you�wanna�answer�them.
402
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:01,834
-Okay,�question.
-[Melody]�Yes,�ma'am.
403
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,503
So�whenever�I�do
press,�usually,
404
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,922
maybe�90�percent�of�the
time,�the�reporter�says,
405
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,007
"I'm�terrified�of�you."
What�do�I�do�about�that?
406
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,342
I�know�the�feeling.
Go�on,�sorry.
407
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,468
Does�that�happen
to�you�all�the�time?
408
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,761
No,�I�feel�terrified
talking�with�you�too.
409
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:12,845
-You're�terrified�of�it?!
-[Melody]�[laughs]
410
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:15,307
And�why�are�you�afraid�of�me?
411
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:20,687
Well,�um,�I'm�not�at�this
moment�and�I'm�thinking�I�should
412
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,982
be�because�I'll
let�my�guard�down.
413
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,524
But�this�isn't�about
me,�this�is�about�you.
414
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,692
What�were�you�gonna�say?
415
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,776
[Ziwe]�No,�tell�me�more
about�your�fear�of�me.
416
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,277
What�would�you�say
is�scary�about�me?
417
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,823
Is�it�my�pink�top�or
is�it�my�blonde�hair?
418
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,324
Neither,�I�think�they're
all�absolutely�fabulous,
419
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,535
and�you�left�out
your�pink�boots.�[laughs]
420
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,703
Good�at�turning�that�into�a
compliment�when�I�was�expressing
421
00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,123
my�deep-seated�trauma.
422
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,833
cheerful�muzak
423
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,875
So�you've�spent�some
time�thinking�about�what�the
424
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,336
questions�might�be...
425
00:16:44,377 --> 00:16:45,504
Mm.
426
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,379
Now,�you�wanna�think
about�your�answers.
427
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,839
[Ziwe]�Mm.
428
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,216
But�it's�bigger�than�that;
you�wanna�set�your�own�agenda.
429
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,552
Sometimes,�people�even
have�a�call�for�action.
430
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,096
[Ziwe]�Mm.
431
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,555
I�do�a�call�for�action�at�my
live�shows�for�people�to�rate�my
432
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,974
WikiFeet�because�my
WikiFeet�is�really�low.
433
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,351
Uh-huh,�okay.
434
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,852
-Do�you�know�what�WikiFeet�is?
-Yeah.
435
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,855
cheerful�muzak
436
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,480
So�when�you're
doing�an�interview,
437
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:08,902
Ziwe,�use�almost�every�answer�as
a�chance�to�express�one�or�more
438
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,487
of�your�themes.
439
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,156
Great,�so�ask�me�a�question.
440
00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,365
Okay,�so�who�do�you�like
to�find�when�you're�looking
441
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:15,784
for�guests?
442
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,118
What-�what's-�what
are�you�looking�for?
443
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,578
Well,�when�I'm
looking�for�guests,
444
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,913
I�align�myself�with�guests
who�are�not�terrified�of�me...
445
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,999
-[Melody]�Mm-hm.
-And�who�think�I�have�nice�feet.
446
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,293
-[ding]
-[applause]
447
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,127
-Is�that�a�good�answer?
-That's�lovely.
448
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,088
-Thank�you.
-You�are...
449
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,380
an�accelerated�student.
450
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,841
Well,�tell�us�about�the
Showtime�relationship.
451
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,010
Do�they-�do�they�give
you�a�lot�of�guardrails?
452
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,846
Are�there�some�no-fly�zones
in�terms�of�the�humor�you're
453
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,597
allowed�to�get�to?
454
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,974
This�is�what�I�would�say;�I
would�say�"I�have�no�problems
455
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,602
with�my�Showtime�familia.
456
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:45,939
I�love�Paramount+�and�it's�a
pleasure�to�be�on�this�network.
457
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:46,981
[ding]
458
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:47,982
-That's�lovely.
-[Ziwe]�Thank�you.
459
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,150
I�hear�smiles�in�the�distance.
460
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:49,984
[ding]
[ding]
461
00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:50,985
[ding]
462
00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,363
cheerful�muzak
463
00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,657
So�when�you�get�a�question
that�is�not�on�topic�for�you...
464
00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:57,785
Yeah.
465
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:58,993
[Melody]�Ziwe,
you're�gonna�love�this.
466
00:17:58,994 --> 00:17:59,952
The�harder�the�question...
467
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,122
-Yeah.
-The�longer�you�should�pause.
468
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,457
What�is�the�hardest�question
you�had�on�your�question�sheet
469
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,458
for�me?
470
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,585
For�you?
Oh...
471
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,920
I�guess�it�was...
472
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:11,590
A�lot�of�your�humor
springs�from�really
473
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,927
mocking�racial�microaggression,
474
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:18,012
so�I'm�just�wondering:�are�a
lot�of�these�incidents�coming
475
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,557
directly�from
experiences�that�you've�had?
476
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,641
dramatic�music
477
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,769
Good�question.
478
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,777
Hm.
479
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,449
[ding]
480
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,076
cheerful�muzak
481
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,201
-Um...
-[Ziwe]�[laughs]
482
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,203
Well,�this�one�got
a�little�funny�but,�uh...
483
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,664
-"Be�yoursel!"
-Yeah.
484
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,665
-[Ziwe]�"Be�yoursel!"
-[Melody]�"Be�yoursel...f."
485
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,459
Thank�you,�Melody!
486
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,210
I'm�going�to�never
forget�you�called�me�"scary."
487
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,879
I've�learned�so�much�about
how�to�interact�with�humans,
488
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,214
so�this�is�going
to�be�great�for�me.
489
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,467
Are�you�stressed�out�about�this?
490
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,969
Not�anymore,�should�I?
491
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,136
-Should�you?
-Should�I?
492
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:58,886
-Should�you?
-[Melody]�Should�I?
493
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,347
Should�you?
494
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,932
We'll�see.
Carry�on.
495
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,392
elegant�music
496
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,976
She's�beauty�and�she's�grace.
497
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,770
She's�serving�body�and�face.
498
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,773
jaunty�music
499
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,233
A�long�tradition�of�being
Miss�Universe�is�interacting
500
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,777
with�the�press.
501
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,320
I've�gotta�be�at�work�in,�like,
25�minutes�in�New�York,�so...
502
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,698
[Ziwe�VO]�I�knew�I�had
my�work�cut�out�for�me.
503
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,701
I�had�a�photoshoot�with
fashion�magazine � Coveteur � .
504
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,870
[woman]�Do�you�have�a
getting-ready�ritual?
505
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,289
In�the�morning�to...
506
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,623
to�wear�clothes?
507
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,458
Luckily,�I�had�Melody's
media�training�fresh�in�my�mind.
508
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,043
Please,�imitate�a
Black�woman�again.
509
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,838
How�am�I�doing?
[gasps]
510
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,298
You�know,�this�is�a
day�in�the�life�of�me.
511
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,050
Yeah,�a�Feminist�American
Sweetheart�Miss�Universe.
512
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,429
It's�not�easy.
513
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,263
But�someone's�gotta�do�it,
and�if�someone's�gonna�do�it,
514
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,057
they�better�be�humble�and
modest�and�kind�like�myself.
515
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:48,352
You�wanna�set�your�own�agenda
before�you�do�any�interview.
516
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:52,232
Contrary�to�popular�disbelief,
I�am�down-to-[beep]-Earth.
517
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,109
I'm�a�regular�girl,�you�know?
518
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,904
I�like�cheeseburgers,�I
like�a�slice�of�pizza...
519
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,363
just�more�expensive
ones�than�most�people.
520
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,950
cool�music
521
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,743
-Claire,�hi.
-Hi�Claire,�nice�to�meet�you!
522
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,996
You�know�a�little�bit�about�the
reporter�and�the�media�outlet.
523
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,957
Or�should�I�say�"Bonjour?"
524
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,293
[Claire]�Bonjour!
525
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,337
Tell�me�how�to�move�my�body?
526
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:14,962
[woman]�So�you
know�what,�I�think,
527
00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,173
for�photos,�what�would�be�good,
since�we�don't�wanna�see�you,
528
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,966
like,�talking,�[laughing]�right?
529
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:21,594
As�you're�talking,
every�now�and�then,�pause.
530
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,012
Stay�there�and�just�no�talking.
531
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,306
No�talking.
532
00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,015
The�longer�you�talk,�the
further�you're�straying�from
533
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,226
your�message.
534
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,018
This�makeup�is�to�make
me�look�older�than�I�am,
535
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,812
obviously,�as�a�19-year-old.
536
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,899
Redundant�is�success.
537
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,776
Natural.
538
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,151
-[woman]�Natural.
-Natural.
539
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,528
[woman]�No�talking.
540
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:39,821
curious�music
541
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,280
Can�I�tell�you:�everything
I�learned�about�modeling,
542
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,032
I�learned�from
America's�Next�Top�Model � .
543
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,201
[woman]�[laughs]
544
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,201
But�only�the
problematic�episodes.
545
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,619
[camera�shutter�clicking]
546
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,914
An�18-year-old�was�crying,
that�was�when�I�was�in�my�bag.
547
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,458
[pop]
548
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,670
[camera�clicks]
549
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:55,253
[Claire]�Uh,�I�have�been
with � Coveteur � since�November.
550
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,671
[Ziwe]�Oh,�cool!
Well,�congratulations.
551
00:20:56,672 --> 00:21:00,592
-[Claire]�Thank�you!
-We�love�women...in�STEM.
552
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,970
-[Claire]�Mm-hm.
-[Ziwe]�[softly]�Yeah.
553
00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,221
[Claire]�What�inspired�you
to�wear�this�outfit�today?
554
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:07,140
-[pop]
-The�harder�the�question...
555
00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,060
The�longer�you�should�pause.
556
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:15,357
I�think�it�is�the
combination�of�fun�and�business,
557
00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,776
because�I�identify
as�a�powerful�woman,
558
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,945
but�also,�I'm�not
afraid�to,�like,
559
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,990
drink�apple
juice�out�of�a�straw.
560
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,367
[Claire]�Love�that.
561
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,827
[pop]
562
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,662
You�are...an
accelerated�student.
563
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:32,207
Basically,�my
personal�style�is�Clueless,
564
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:35,167
it's�Dionne,�it's�Stacey
Dash�before�we�got�really�upset
565
00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,837
with�her.
566
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,463
curious�music
567
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:40,673
They�look�kinda�bored�or�like
they'd�rather�be�somewhere�else,
568
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:43,864
but�you�have�to�be�you,
even�when�they're�not�helping.
569
00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,471
This�is�inspired
by�Condoleezza�Rice.
570
00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:53,686
Whenever�I'm
thinking�about�looks,
571
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,354
I'm�channeling
characters,�right?
572
00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,899
So�there�is�this
one-�this�look!
573
00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:01,069
And�it�was�inspired
by,�um,�Patrick�Starr.
574
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:03,112
So�it's�a�very�famous�meme
in�which�Patrick�Starr-
575
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,864
-[Claire]�I'm-�I'm�familiar.
-[Ziwe]�Yeah,�exactly!
576
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,283
So�I�was�like,�"Okay,
like,�I�wanna�dress�like�a
577
00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,326
slutty�starfish."
578
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,453
-[pop]
-You�do�you.
579
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:10,870
Who�else�can�do�it�better?
580
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,663
[woman]�It's�so�weird;�we
usually�have,�like,�music.
581
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:13,999
[laughs]
582
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,333
I�think�you�can�listen�to
the�sound�of�me�humming.
583
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,085
La�la�la�la�la
584
00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,254
-[pop]
-I�love�gospel�music.
585
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,713
We�also�have
music�prepared,�too.
586
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,131
We�found�some
license-free�beats.
587
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,674
-[woman]�Oh,�we�did?
-Hit�the�song!
588
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,510
[camera�clicking]
589
00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,637
"The
Star-Spangled�Banner"
590
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:28,888
[woman]�And�then�lean�back
and�go�back�to�the�one�where�you
591
00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:29,889
were�just,�like,�really�relaxed.
592
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:30,890
Yeah.
593
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,017
[camera�clicking]
594
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,517
No,�you're�good,�you're�good.
595
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:33,768
[Ziwe]�I�said�that�you
guys�would�all�know�the�words!
596
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:34,727
[woman]�[laughs]
597
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,313
Nice!
598
00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:37,355
Cool!
599
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,690
Awesome!
600
00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,192
[Ziwe]�Thank�you�for
letting�us�shoot�you�shoot�us.
601
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,861
Merci, � Coveteur � !
602
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:45,864
This�is�the�magic�of � Ziwe � .
603
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:47,157
Wow,�we�did�it!
604
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,700
Guys,�this�was�so�fun!
605
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:50,327
Thank�you!
606
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:52,788
[camera�clicking]
607
00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:53,913
My�work�is�done�here.
608
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,333
[camera�click]
609
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,543
jaunty�music
610
00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:01,296
"Butterflies�don't�poop."
611
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:04,256
I�remember�the�first�time�I�was
going�away�with�a�guy�for�the
612
00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:07,343
weekend,�and�I-�I�didn't-�I
didn't�know�how�that�was�all
613
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,720
gonna�function.
614
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,514
I�was�so�intimidated.
615
00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:12,306
You�didn't�take�a
dump�in�front�of�him?
616
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:12,890
[tape�fast-forwarding]
617
00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:16,144
I�found�a�bathroom
downstairs�in�the�lobby.
618
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,687
Now,�years�laters,�can
you�shit�in�front�of�a�date?
619
00:23:18,688 --> 00:23:19,522
[tape�fast-forwarding]
620
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,857
Well,�not�in�front�of.
621
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,274
Or�on�top�of�-
who�am�I�to�judge?
622
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,069
[laughs]
623
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,111
Two�Girls,�One�Cup?
624
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:26,529
-[tape�fast-forwarding]
-[Drew]�Um...
625
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,155
How�do�you�know
what�that�is,�Drew?!
626
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,157
And,�by�the�way,
it�didn't�look�real.
627
00:23:30,158 --> 00:23:31,367
As�a�child�star,�you
were�like,�"I�could�see-"
628
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,494
"I�see�the�cables.
629
00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,703
That�is...
630
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:36,206
frothy�mousse�and�not�poop."
631
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,206
So�what�you're�saying�is-
632
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,918
I�believe�that�Two
Girls,�One�Cup�is�fake.
633
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,043
[tape�fast-forwarding]
634
00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,588
More�like�Two�Girls,
One,�like,�Parfait.
635
00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:44,755
[tape�fast-forwarding]
636
00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,341
Or�Budino.
637
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,427
Wow,�she's�a�truther.
638
00:23:48,477 --> 00:23:53,027
Repair and Synchronization by
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