All language subtitles for ZIWE s02e11 Miss Universe.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,301 elegant�music 2 00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,345 [camera�flashes] 3 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,556 The�world�is�so�divided�today, but�what�can�bring�it�together? 4 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,558 Drop-dead�gorgeous women�competing�for�your 5 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:18,852 viewing�pleasure! 6 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,145 [camera�flash] 7 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:22,021 [man�VO]�It's Little�Miss�Viacom! 8 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,608 She's�cute,�she's�sweet,�and she's�vertically�integrated. 9 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,986 I�wear�these heels�for�world�peace. 10 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,154 [ding] 11 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,990 I�wear�this lipstick�for�world�peace. 12 00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:34,199 And�I�wear�this�swimsuit because�no�one�would�listen�to 13 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,535 me�otherwise! 14 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,410 Stop�it! 15 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,244 Stop�it! 16 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,955 Stop�it! 17 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,831 No,�just�kidding,�don't�stop�it! 18 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:41,874 I'll�be�horny! 19 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,836 Ooh,�ahh,�ahh,�ohh,�horny�noise! 20 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,296 [camera�flash] 21 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:47,713 [man�VO]�What�makes�you different�from�other�girls? 22 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,965 Everything. 23 00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,216 [man�VO]�Where�do�you see�yourself�in�five�years? 24 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,802 My�high�school�graduation. 25 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,387 Goo-goo,�ga-ga. 26 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,680 [man�VO]�What's�your favorite�mode�of�transportation? 27 00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,183 Private�plane. 28 00:00:58,184 --> 00:00:59,933 I�take�it�to�go�to�the�grocery store�or�to�borrow�a�cup�of 29 00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,853 sugar�from�my�neighbor,�or�just when�I�feel�like�releasing�tons 30 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,939 of�carbon. 31 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,982 [man�VO]�How�would you�change�the�world? 32 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,735 I�wouldn't,�it's perfect�just�the�way�it�is. 33 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,028 Unless�you�disagree,�then... 34 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,782 Beyonce�said, "America�has�a�problem." 35 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,616 It's�a�waking�nightmare! 36 00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,035 [sighs] 37 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:19,244 It's�not�easy�being Miss�Congeniality. 38 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,663 [camera�flash] 39 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,499 You�have�to�learn�how�to spell�that�very�difficult�word. 40 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,795 C-O-N...geniality? 41 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,838 -Dang�it! -[camera�flash] 42 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,465 Winning�isn't everything,�but�if�I�don't�win, 43 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,260 I�will�kill�the�judges and�jump�off�a�bridge! 44 00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:36,638 chimes 45 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,846 Tonight,�I'll�be talking�with�Drew�Barrymore. 46 00:01:38,847 --> 00:01:43,103 Which�of�the�78�white�characters you've�played�were�Republicans? 47 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,021 Hmm... 48 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,731 [Ziwe�VO]�Plus,�I'll�be�talking to�professional�media�trainer 49 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,067 Melody�Kimmel. 50 00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:51,652 I�mean,�that's�what�gives this�show�its-�its�edge. 51 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:52,862 Thank�you! 52 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,113 I�like�to�think�that�my race�makes�me�edgy�too. 53 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,532 Yeah,�well-�[laughs] 54 00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:57,116 [Ziwe�VO]�And�doing�a photoshoot�with�fashion 55 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,535 magazine, � Coveteur � . 56 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:01,454 Video. Can't�Photoshop�that. 57 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,165 Let�the�pageantry�begin! 58 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,961 eerie�music�box�music 59 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,258 cool�theme�music 60 00:02:52,014 --> 00:02:57,384 My�guest�tonight�has�been America's�Sweetheart�since�she 61 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,053 was�six�years�old. 62 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,097 She's�a�child�star�who�grew up�right�before�our�very�eyes. 63 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,642 Find�out�who�you�are,�and... 64 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,853 try�not�to�be�afraid�of�it. 65 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,937 [Ziwe�VO]�A�teen�icon turned�leading�lady, 66 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,024 author,�and�entrepreneur. 67 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:14,444 You�may�know�her�as�the�host of � The�Drew�Barrymore�Show � . 68 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:15,694 Please�welcome,�Drew�Barrymore! 69 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,113 [claps] 70 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,157 Wow. 71 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:22,994 smooth�jazzy�music 72 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,080 Okay,�twerk, twerk,�twerk.�[laughs] 73 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,332 That�was�sort�of like�the�weirdest�twerk. 74 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,084 It... It�was�beautiful. 75 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,128 -Like,�that's�a�twerk. -Wow! 76 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,338 Oh�my�gosh,�who�knew�she�would throw�it�back�within�the�first 77 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,389 five�seconds? 78 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,507 Hot. 79 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,008 We're�gonna�cut back�to�that�a�lot. 80 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:41,137 I've�always,�uh,�had�a butt�with�a�mind�of�its�own. 81 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,305 [Ziwe]�Mm! 82 00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,556 Would�you�say�that�you identify�as�"stupid�thick?" 83 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,807 What�does�"stupid�thick"�mean? 84 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:46,808 Like,�thick�in�the�head? 85 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,185 No,�"stupid�thick" is�like,�"Oh�my�gosh, 86 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:50,812 she's�stupid�thick,"�like, [Latina�accent]�"Stupid�thick." 87 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:52,190 I�don't�know�that�one. 88 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,524 It's�like,�"Oh!" 89 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,150 Like�Jessica Rabbit�-�stupid�thick. 90 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:58,029 I�mean,�I'd�like�to relate�to�Jessica�Rabbit. 91 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,781 I've�been�watching,�um,�that movie�with�my�daughters�a�lot 92 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:04,118 lately,�and�she�is�hot. 93 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,118 Stupid�thick. 94 00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:06,119 She's�stupid�thick. 95 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,162 [Ziwe]�Yes. 96 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,830 So�I�read�your�book � Wildflower � . 97 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,000 You�are�such�a�vision. 98 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,043 I�mean,�this�is�why�you're perfect�for�the�Miss�Universe 99 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,463 episode,�because�you�sort�of embody�that�American�Sweetheart. 100 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:19,174 So�how�do�I�rebrand�as not�a�scary�Black�woman? 101 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,760 [laughs] 102 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,971 Well,�I... 103 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,764 [sighs] 104 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,140 I�mean,�I�don't�know,�I�don't want�you�to�change�in�any�way, 105 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,309 shape,�or�form. 106 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,644 Wow,�thank�you. 107 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,978 That's�not�exactly helpful,�but�I�appreciate�it. 108 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,313 It�isn't�helpful. 109 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,356 I�feel�like�this�is The�Color�of�Friendship � , 110 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,149 that�Disney�movie about�South�Africa. 111 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,568 Do�you�have�any�Black friends�at�home,�Mahree? 112 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,822 Yes,�yes,�as�a matter�of�fact,�I�do. 113 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,907 It's�wild�because�you�have such�a�relatable�and�grounded 114 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:47,035 personality,�so�do�you think�that�you're�appropriating 115 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,038 average�person�culture. 116 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,623 Oh,�God.. 117 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:55,295 [sighs] I�would�like�to�say�that... 118 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:58,131 that�I�am... 119 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,384 I'm�so�[beep]�normal,�and�yet 120 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:05,888 I'm�so�embarrassed�and aware�of�how�privileged�I�am. 121 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:11,018 I�feel�like�Josie�Grossy,�but�am I�appropriating�normal�people? 122 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:14,981 I�don't�know,�I�just-�like,�my fabulous�Hollywood�family�was 123 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,151 dead�and�gone,�and,�like, had�sold�everything�off. 124 00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,193 Like,�I�don't�even have�a�family�heirloom. 125 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,989 -Mm. -I�don't�have�anything. 126 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,448 Same,�but�for different�reasons. 127 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,908 [whispering]�Poverty. 128 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,243 [whispering]�Poverty? 129 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,454 [whispering]�My parents�fled�a�war. 130 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,164 [whispering]�I'm�sorry. 131 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:35,168 But�it's�weird�because I've�lived�a�privileged�and 132 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,421 blessed�life... 133 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:40,881 I've�also�[beep]�up�a�lot, and�I've�seen�a�lot�of�shit, 134 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:41,631 you�know? 135 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:44,718 And�I've�spent�a�lot�of�time traveling�throughout�the�world 136 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,471 and�looking�around�and trying�not�to�be�some�bougie, 137 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:51,017 insular,�coastal�person. 138 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,353 And�I�just�wish�that�we�could take�care�of�each�other�in�the 139 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,147 best�way�possible. 140 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,315 I'm�convinced�that's what�we're�here�to�do. 141 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,150 I�mean,�what�do�you�think? Like- 142 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,194 I�think�that�you�just gave�the�perfect�answer, 143 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,265 and�somehow�related�to small-town�people�while�also 144 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:07,825 centering�yourself in�your�experiences, 145 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:11,286 and�I'm�kind�of�annoyed�for�how Miss-America-perfect�you�are. 146 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,455 So�Charlies�Angels, are�they�pro-cop? 147 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,833 [dramatic�thud] 148 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,668 Um,�well,�they're�detectives. 149 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,629 So�they�are�the�police? 150 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:22,297 You�know, � Charlie's�Angels is�what�coined�a�thing�called 151 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:25,426 "jiggle�TV,"�um, back�in�the�day. 152 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,512 Does�anyone remember�jiggle�TV? 153 00:06:27,513 --> 00:06:29,137 We're�gonna�assume�it�was what�you�were�doing�when�you 154 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,431 walked�out? 155 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,765 We're�gonna�cut back�to�that�a�lot. 156 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:35,228 At�the�time,�in�1999, 157 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:38,106 my�big�battle�was�true�female 158 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:42,276 friendship�and comedy�and�no�guns. 159 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,945 Mm! 160 00:06:43,946 --> 00:06:46,154 But�at�the�time,�I�wasn't�in the�place�in�my�life�where�I 161 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:49,992 was,�like, feminist,�like,�you�know, 162 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,954 no�touchy-grabby,�no�jokes. 163 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:57,708 Like,�I-�I�should�go�back�and look�at�those�movies�with�the 164 00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,086 eyes�of�today's�culture. 165 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,130 Who�was�someone�-�a�woman�of color�-�that�you�would�consider 166 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,259 a�girl-next-door,�a Miss�America,�Miss�Universe? 167 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,594 I�mean... 168 00:07:08,802 --> 00:07:11,431 I-�I�love�Tina�Turner. 169 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:12,973 What's�your favorite�Tina�Turner�song? 170 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,476 I�mean,�ironically, it's�the�one�with�Ike. 171 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,270 Oh�my�gosh! 172 00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:19,439 mimicking�Tina�Turner 173 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,109 [mumbling]�the wedding�bells 174 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,652 Wow. 175 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,319 Um,�she's�so pissed�right�now. 176 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,321 She's�just�like,�"Why are�you�doing�that�to�me?" 177 00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,614 [Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe � ... 178 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,616 I�literally�have, like,�a�white�dog�too, 179 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,327 and�I�feel�guilty. 180 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,162 Would�you�like�to apologize�to�your�white�dog? 181 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,791 I'm�sorry,�Lucy,�I-�I should�never�have�adopted�you. 182 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,002 [laughs] 183 00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,295 She's�really�white. 184 00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,796 [man�VO]�Cancelled! 185 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,506 jaunty�music 186 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:49,510 My�normal-sized�little teeth�are�so�small�and�boring. 187 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,470 [woman�VO]�Introducing�Chompers! 188 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,222 Chompers�Cosmetics�believes every�woman�is�born�potentially 189 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,766 deserving�of�love. 190 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,809 And�through�a highly-experimental�Brazilian 191 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,520 teeth�lift,�you�can�finally�have that�smile�that�lets�you�reach 192 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,315 that�potential! 193 00:08:02,355 --> 00:08:06,527 Before�I�got�my�BTL,�my bottom�six�were�rock�bottom. 194 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:10,197 Now,�the�boys�are�rock hard�because�I'm�a�big-toothed 195 00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,990 diva�bitch! 196 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,658 -[pop] -[chuckles] 197 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,667 With�my�new�teeth... 198 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:28,591 I�thought�teeth�were just�for,�you�know, 199 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,219 chomping�on�hard things�like�apples, 200 00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,387 crab�legs,�stuff�like�that. 201 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,432 I�mean,�these chompers�got�me�a�young, 202 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,434 fine-ass�boyfriend. 203 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,603 And�then�I�dumped�him�[laughs] so�I�could�get�an�even�finer, 204 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,272 younger�boyfriend. 205 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,191 [laughs] 206 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,400 [woman�VO]�Fillers, implants,�and�generally�being 207 00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,195 sexy�are�out. 208 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,907 You�know�what�they�say: girls�with�big�teeth... 209 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,826 accidentally�bite�it�off. 210 00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,495 Oops! [chuckles] 211 00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,830 At�first,�I�was�nervous�because 50�percent�of�women�die�during 212 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:03,042 this�surgery. 213 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,586 But�on�the�bright side,�50�percent�live! 214 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,214 upbeat�music 215 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,882 [woman�VO]�And�guess�what! 216 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,801 The�free�consultation�ensures you're�gonna�feel�like�shit. 217 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,262 [email�sending�whoosh] 218 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:16,222 I�only�eat�soft�food�now,�okay? 219 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,432 Ricotta�girls,�make�somme�noise! 220 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:19,684 [trills] 221 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,397 [woman�VO]�Only�at Chompers�Cosmetics. 222 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,399 jaunty�music 223 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,819 Beauty�is�in�the�eye�of�the nice�man�holding�the�crown. 224 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,821 jaunty�music 225 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:33,489 exciting�strings 226 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,116 You�consume�a�lot�of�news. 227 00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,909 I'm�a�news�junkie. 228 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,244 Obsessed. 229 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,453 What's�your favorite�Black�publication? 230 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,539 Um,�I�really�like�what they're�doing�with � Essence � . 231 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,500 They�had�a�new�editor�come�in. 232 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,668 I�would�love�to�see�you�on the�cover�of � Essence�Magazine � . 233 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,503 I�would�love�to�be�on the�cover�of � Essence � . 234 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,338 I�don't�think�I'm�allowed on�the�cover�of � Essence � . 235 00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:53,426 Like,�AARP,�I'm�not�50 yet,�they�won't�let�me�do�it. 236 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,094 Fingers�crossed,�one�day! 237 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,636 But�I'll�get�there�one�day. 238 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:57,887 I�don't�think�I'm�ever gonna�get�to � Essence � status. 239 00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,766 With�the�right bronzer,�you�never�know. 240 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,560 So�you�were emancipated�at�14�years�old. 241 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,313 Where�do�you�stand�on�the Emancipation�Proclamation? 242 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,482 Um,�I�am�for�freedoms. 243 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,484 Is�that�the�right�answer? 244 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,484 You�tell�me,�Drew. 245 00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:14,530 [ticking] 246 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,198 [ding] 247 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,575 Here's�a�question:�at�age�six, you�got�your�first�role�in � ET. 248 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,827 Where�do�you�stand on�child�labor�laws? 249 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,955 There's�no�room for�child�labor. 250 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:27,710 I�often,�uh,�question whether�they�should�even 251 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,629 allow�child�actors. 252 00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,005 Wow! 253 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,342 It's�weird�because�I�love my�life�and�wouldn't�change 254 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,635 a�thing. 255 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:40,014 But�it�is�a�very strange�thing�for�kids. 256 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,807 Mm. 257 00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:45,978 I�want�my�kids�to�know�how�to do�laundry�and�summer�intern�and 258 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,688 earn�their�money�and�do their�chores�and�all�that�stuff, 259 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,650 and,�um... 260 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:54,570 It's�funny;�I�was�traveling through�Europe�this�summer�and 261 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,696 it�was�interesting to�be�away�from�home. 262 00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:57,864 [tape�fast-forwarding] 263 00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,075 You�know�what? 264 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:00,367 Paw�Patrol, � with all�due�respect... 265 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,827 [tape�fast-forwarding] 266 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,787 And�it's�funny,�too,�because my�libidos�been�dead�for, 267 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,331 like,�almost�a�decade... 268 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,539 [tape�fast-forwarding] 269 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,752 Love�to�be�compared�or confused�by-�to-�as�Zendaya... 270 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,253 [tape�fast-forwarding] 271 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,380 I�want�a�lot�of,�like, death�and�frying�pans... 272 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,673 [tape�fast-forwarding] 273 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,466 I�was�like,�"Here�I am,�gynecogical�table, 274 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,467 let's�go..." 275 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,010 [tape�fast-forwarding] 276 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,804 Gee�willikers,�we�really learned�a�great�lesson�today! 277 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,181 [tape�fast-forwarding] 278 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,641 And�then�I�walked�into�a�museum in�none�other�than�a�small�town 279 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,685 in�Italy�and�there was�one�of�her�pieces. 280 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,022 Um...but... 281 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,564 Wait,�shit,�what was�the�question? 282 00:11:31,565 --> 00:11:32,775 [beep]. 283 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,528 I�went�so�far�off on�my�own�tangent. 284 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,656 [sips] 285 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,073 [Ziwe�VO]�Next�on � Ziwe � ... 286 00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,701 How�would�you�empower someone�like�Harriet�Tubman? 287 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,244 She's�one�of�my daughter's�favorites. 288 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,705 Wait,�really?! 289 00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:49,458 She's�really�been�in�love�with important�figures�like�Harriet 290 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,544 Tubman,�Martin�Luther... 291 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,670 Shout�out. 292 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:53,503 chimes 293 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,090 What's�the�difference�between Miss�America�and�Miss�Universe? 294 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:58,711 Get�a�passport�and�find�out. 295 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,469 jaunty�music 296 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:03,430 So�when�I�went�on�your show,�we�played�Drew's�News. 297 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,225 We've�got�a�spooky little�show�for�you�today! 298 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,562 This�is...quorn,�with�a�Q. 299 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:13,064 I�have�a�lower�back�tattoo,�I don't�wanna�be�called�a�"tramp!" 300 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,650 So,�I�figured�you'd�come�on my�show�and�we'd�play�Ziwe's 301 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,777 Drew's�News. 302 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,863 Make�a�jingle�up! 303 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:22,450 Ziwe,�Ziwe 304 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,619 The�only�way�I�want 305 00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,621 Is�Ziwe 306 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:29,707 Drew's�News! 307 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,043 Ziwe,�Ziwe 308 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:36,297 -Shake�it,�shake�it! - � Drew's�News�and�Ziwe 309 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,089 Jiggle�Cam,�Jiggle Cam,�close�up,�close�up! 310 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,550 -Ziwe,�Ziwe -[Ziwe]�Jiggle�Cam,�Jiggle�Cam! 311 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:43,846 Guess�what way�we're�going 312 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,556 To�Drew's�News! 313 00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,767 Okay,�so�you're�gonna�read�the news�on�these�respective�cards, 314 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,603 and�you're�going�to�also tell�us�how�they�make�you�feel. 315 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,273 -[Drew]�laughs] -Sad�or�happy. 316 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,941 [buzzer] 317 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,526 Yup. 318 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,278 -Okay,�read�the�news. -Okay. 319 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,780 "Founding�Father�Benjamin Franklin�wanted�the�national 320 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,742 bird�to�be�a�turkey, and�also,�he�had�slaves." 321 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,619 Happy�or�sad? 322 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:09,079 [buzzer] 323 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:13,834 "Sojourner�Truth was�#momgoals�in�1828. 324 00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,962 She�sued�for�her�son's�freedom." 325 00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:18,756 Ohh... Yes. 326 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:20,340 [woman�VO]�Yes,�it�is�bad! 327 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,675 Can�I�keep�this�card? 328 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,176 Yes,�I'll�sign�it�for�you. 329 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,596 I�would�like�to study�her�with�the�girls. 330 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,598 upbeat�lounge�music 331 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,519 "France�required�Haiti�to�pay them�150�million�francs�for 332 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,910 their�freedom�under threat�of�violence." 333 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,108 This�is�wrong. 334 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,526 No,�that's�a�fact,�Drew! 335 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,779 I-�I�know,�but�it's�wrong. 336 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,365 -Ethically. -[Drew]�Yes.�[sighs] 337 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,200 [buzzer] 338 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,660 Drew�Barrymore,�you're an�icon,�you're�a�legend, 339 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,371 you're�America's�Sweetheart- 340 00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:52,997 It's�funny;�I�don't�see myself�any�of�those�ways. 341 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,834 Well,�you�are�those�ways,�and I�can�name�78�films�in�which 342 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,395 you're�exactly�that�person. 343 00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,949 All�which�I'm appropriating�normal�people, 344 00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:00,922 I'm�sorry. 345 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,758 Well,�you�can�apologize�again. 346 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,595 If�it's�any�consolation,�when�I know�I've�done�something�wrong, 347 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,555 I�will�beat�the shit�out�of�myself... 348 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:11,225 -[Ziwe]�Oh�my�gosh! -Until�I�get�it�right. 349 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:16,313 I�think�of�someone-�a�hero�of mine�who�famously�messed�up�and 350 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,565 named�one�Miss Universe�instead�of�another, 351 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,984 and�then�he�righted�that�wrong, and�then�he�became�the�Miss 352 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,027 Universe�guy,�and that's�Steve�Harvey. 353 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,573 And�today,�you remind�me�of�my�dear, 354 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:28,784 dear�icon�and hero,�Mr�Steve�Harvey. 355 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,618 [Drew]�That's right,�I�remember�that. 356 00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:33,163 Who�is�your�hero�going�back? 357 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,285 [Ziwe]�Ida�B�Wells. 358 00:14:34,286 --> 00:14:36,708 If�we're�talking�about American�journalism, 359 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,418 she�is�one�of�the�pathfinders. 360 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,836 That's�my�daughter's other�favorite�person! 361 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:40,670 Shut�up,�you�know who�Ida�B.�Wells�is? 362 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,006 [Drew]�Yes! 363 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,007 -heartwarming�music -[electronic�chimes] 364 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,675 [both]�[chanting]�Ida�B�Wells! Ida�B�Wells! 365 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,969 Ida�B�Wells! 366 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,596 And�that's�our�show. 367 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,013 Drew�Barrymore,�everyone! 368 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,473 [applause] 369 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,601 What�a�star! 370 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,517 [both�VO] [chanting]�Ida�B�Wells! 371 00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:55,603 Ida�B�Wells! 372 00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:56,694 Ida�B�Wells! 373 00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:57,687 Ida�B�Wells! 374 00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,690 [ding] 375 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,734 elegant�music 376 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,777 When�women�compete... 377 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,237 we�all�win. 378 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,406 jaunty�music 379 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,489 Media�training. 380 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,450 It's�the foundation�of�our�industry. 381 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,703 Is�there�anything�or�nothing in�that�list�you�would�like�to 382 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,080 clear�up? 383 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:18,417 [Ziwe�VO]�That's�why�I'll be�talking�to�Melody�Kimmel. 384 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,710 She's�a�professional�media trainer�who�works�with�public 385 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,901 figures�to�shape�positive interactions�with�the�press. 386 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:25,799 Hi,�Melody! 387 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,383 I'm�excited�to chat�with�you�today. 388 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:28,884 You�know,�I'm�a�public�figure, I'm�hoping�to�get�better�at 389 00:15:28,885 --> 00:15:30,511 media,�so�this�is going�to�be�great. 390 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,847 Can�I�tell�you�a�traumatic�story from�my�childhood�and�you�tell 391 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,891 me�if�it's�good�for packaging�in�interviews? 392 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,842 -Oh,�that�doesn't�sound�good. -All�my�life�[bleep]. 393 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,648 [bleep] 394 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,444 Okay. 395 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,070 Should�I-�should�we- should�I�keep�moving? 396 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,740 cheerful�muzak 397 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,661 So�there's�three�really important�steps�to�preparation. 398 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:56,079 First�of�all,�you�wanna know�what�you're�getting�into. 399 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,081 Think�about�the questions�you're�going�to�get... 400 00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,541 Mm. 401 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,750 'Cause�then�you�can�think about�how�you�wanna�answer�them. 402 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:01,834 -Okay,�question. -[Melody]�Yes,�ma'am. 403 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:03,503 So�whenever�I�do press,�usually, 404 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,922 maybe�90�percent�of�the time,�the�reporter�says, 405 00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,007 "I'm�terrified�of�you." What�do�I�do�about�that? 406 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,342 I�know�the�feeling. Go�on,�sorry. 407 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,468 Does�that�happen to�you�all�the�time? 408 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,761 No,�I�feel�terrified talking�with�you�too. 409 00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:12,845 -You're�terrified�of�it?! -[Melody]�[laughs] 410 00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:15,307 And�why�are�you�afraid�of�me? 411 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:20,687 Well,�um,�I'm�not�at�this moment�and�I'm�thinking�I�should 412 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,982 be�because�I'll let�my�guard�down. 413 00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,524 But�this�isn't�about me,�this�is�about�you. 414 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,692 What�were�you�gonna�say? 415 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,776 [Ziwe]�No,�tell�me�more about�your�fear�of�me. 416 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,277 What�would�you�say is�scary�about�me? 417 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,823 Is�it�my�pink�top�or is�it�my�blonde�hair? 418 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:33,324 Neither,�I�think�they're all�absolutely�fabulous, 419 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,535 and�you�left�out your�pink�boots.�[laughs] 420 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,703 Good�at�turning�that�into�a compliment�when�I�was�expressing 421 00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,123 my�deep-seated�trauma. 422 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,833 cheerful�muzak 423 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,875 So�you've�spent�some time�thinking�about�what�the 424 00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,336 questions�might�be... 425 00:16:44,377 --> 00:16:45,504 Mm. 426 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,379 Now,�you�wanna�think about�your�answers. 427 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,839 [Ziwe]�Mm. 428 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,216 But�it's�bigger�than�that; you�wanna�set�your�own�agenda. 429 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,552 Sometimes,�people�even have�a�call�for�action. 430 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,096 [Ziwe]�Mm. 431 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,555 I�do�a�call�for�action�at�my live�shows�for�people�to�rate�my 432 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,974 WikiFeet�because�my WikiFeet�is�really�low. 433 00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,351 Uh-huh,�okay. 434 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,852 -Do�you�know�what�WikiFeet�is? -Yeah. 435 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,855 cheerful�muzak 436 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,480 So�when�you're doing�an�interview, 437 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:08,902 Ziwe,�use�almost�every�answer�as a�chance�to�express�one�or�more 438 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,487 of�your�themes. 439 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,156 Great,�so�ask�me�a�question. 440 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,365 Okay,�so�who�do�you�like to�find�when�you're�looking 441 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:15,784 for�guests? 442 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,118 What-�what's-�what are�you�looking�for? 443 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,578 Well,�when�I'm looking�for�guests, 444 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,913 I�align�myself�with�guests who�are�not�terrified�of�me... 445 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,999 -[Melody]�Mm-hm. -And�who�think�I�have�nice�feet. 446 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,293 -[ding] -[applause] 447 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,127 -Is�that�a�good�answer? -That's�lovely. 448 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,088 -Thank�you. -You�are... 449 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,380 an�accelerated�student. 450 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,841 Well,�tell�us�about�the Showtime�relationship. 451 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,010 Do�they-�do�they�give you�a�lot�of�guardrails? 452 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,846 Are�there�some�no-fly�zones in�terms�of�the�humor�you're 453 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:37,597 allowed�to�get�to? 454 00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,974 This�is�what�I�would�say;�I would�say�"I�have�no�problems 455 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,602 with�my�Showtime�familia. 456 00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:45,939 I�love�Paramount+�and�it's�a pleasure�to�be�on�this�network. 457 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:46,981 [ding] 458 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:47,982 -That's�lovely. -[Ziwe]�Thank�you. 459 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:49,150 I�hear�smiles�in�the�distance. 460 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:49,984 [ding] [ding] 461 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:50,985 [ding] 462 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,363 cheerful�muzak 463 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:56,657 So�when�you�get�a�question that�is�not�on�topic�for�you... 464 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:57,785 Yeah. 465 00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:58,993 [Melody]�Ziwe, you're�gonna�love�this. 466 00:17:58,994 --> 00:17:59,952 The�harder�the�question... 467 00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,122 -Yeah. -The�longer�you�should�pause. 468 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,457 What�is�the�hardest�question you�had�on�your�question�sheet 469 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,458 for�me? 470 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:06,585 For�you? Oh... 471 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,920 I�guess�it�was... 472 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:11,590 A�lot�of�your�humor springs�from�really 473 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,927 mocking�racial�microaggression, 474 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:18,012 so�I'm�just�wondering:�are�a lot�of�these�incidents�coming 475 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,557 directly�from experiences�that�you've�had? 476 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,641 dramatic�music 477 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,769 Good�question. 478 00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,777 Hm. 479 00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:37,449 [ding] 480 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,076 cheerful�muzak 481 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,201 -Um... -[Ziwe]�[laughs] 482 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,203 Well,�this�one�got a�little�funny�but,�uh... 483 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,664 -"Be�yoursel!" -Yeah. 484 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,665 -[Ziwe]�"Be�yoursel!" -[Melody]�"Be�yoursel...f." 485 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,459 Thank�you,�Melody! 486 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,210 I'm�going�to�never forget�you�called�me�"scary." 487 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,879 I've�learned�so�much�about how�to�interact�with�humans, 488 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,214 so�this�is�going to�be�great�for�me. 489 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,467 Are�you�stressed�out�about�this? 490 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,969 Not�anymore,�should�I? 491 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,136 -Should�you? -Should�I? 492 00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:58,886 -Should�you? -[Melody]�Should�I? 493 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,347 Should�you? 494 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,932 We'll�see. Carry�on. 495 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,392 elegant�music 496 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:04,976 She's�beauty�and�she's�grace. 497 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,770 She's�serving�body�and�face. 498 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,773 jaunty�music 499 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,233 A�long�tradition�of�being Miss�Universe�is�interacting 500 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,777 with�the�press. 501 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,320 I've�gotta�be�at�work�in,�like, 25�minutes�in�New�York,�so... 502 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,698 [Ziwe�VO]�I�knew�I�had my�work�cut�out�for�me. 503 00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:21,701 I�had�a�photoshoot�with fashion�magazine � Coveteur � . 504 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,870 [woman]�Do�you�have�a getting-ready�ritual? 505 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,289 In�the�morning�to... 506 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,623 to�wear�clothes? 507 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,458 Luckily,�I�had�Melody's media�training�fresh�in�my�mind. 508 00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:31,043 Please,�imitate�a Black�woman�again. 509 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,838 How�am�I�doing? [gasps] 510 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,298 You�know,�this�is�a day�in�the�life�of�me. 511 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,050 Yeah,�a�Feminist�American Sweetheart�Miss�Universe. 512 00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,429 It's�not�easy. 513 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,263 But�someone's�gotta�do�it, and�if�someone's�gonna�do�it, 514 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,057 they�better�be�humble�and modest�and�kind�like�myself. 515 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:48,352 You�wanna�set�your�own�agenda before�you�do�any�interview. 516 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:52,232 Contrary�to�popular�disbelief, I�am�down-to-[beep]-Earth. 517 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:54,109 I'm�a�regular�girl,�you�know? 518 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,904 I�like�cheeseburgers,�I like�a�slice�of�pizza... 519 00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,363 just�more�expensive ones�than�most�people. 520 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,950 cool�music 521 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,743 -Claire,�hi. -Hi�Claire,�nice�to�meet�you! 522 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:06,996 You�know�a�little�bit�about�the reporter�and�the�media�outlet. 523 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,957 Or�should�I�say�"Bonjour?" 524 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,293 [Claire]�Bonjour! 525 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,337 Tell�me�how�to�move�my�body? 526 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:14,962 [woman]�So�you know�what,�I�think, 527 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:17,173 for�photos,�what�would�be�good, since�we�don't�wanna�see�you, 528 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,966 like,�talking,�[laughing]�right? 529 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:21,594 As�you're�talking, every�now�and�then,�pause. 530 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,012 Stay�there�and�just�no�talking. 531 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:24,306 No�talking. 532 00:20:24,307 --> 00:20:26,015 The�longer�you�talk,�the further�you're�straying�from 533 00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,226 your�message. 534 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,018 This�makeup�is�to�make me�look�older�than�I�am, 535 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,812 obviously,�as�a�19-year-old. 536 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,899 Redundant�is�success. 537 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:35,776 Natural. 538 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,151 -[woman]�Natural. -Natural. 539 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,528 [woman]�No�talking. 540 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:39,821 curious�music 541 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,280 Can�I�tell�you:�everything I�learned�about�modeling, 542 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,032 I�learned�from America's�Next�Top�Model � . 543 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:44,201 [woman]�[laughs] 544 00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,201 But�only�the problematic�episodes. 545 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,619 [camera�shutter�clicking] 546 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,914 An�18-year-old�was�crying, that�was�when�I�was�in�my�bag. 547 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,458 [pop] 548 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,670 [camera�clicks] 549 00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:55,253 [Claire]�Uh,�I�have�been with � Coveteur � since�November. 550 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,671 [Ziwe]�Oh,�cool! Well,�congratulations. 551 00:20:56,672 --> 00:21:00,592 -[Claire]�Thank�you! -We�love�women...in�STEM. 552 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:02,970 -[Claire]�Mm-hm. -[Ziwe]�[softly]�Yeah. 553 00:21:02,971 --> 00:21:05,221 [Claire]�What�inspired�you to�wear�this�outfit�today? 554 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:07,140 -[pop] -The�harder�the�question... 555 00:21:07,182 --> 00:21:10,060 The�longer�you�should�pause. 556 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:15,357 I�think�it�is�the combination�of�fun�and�business, 557 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,776 because�I�identify as�a�powerful�woman, 558 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,945 but�also,�I'm�not afraid�to,�like, 559 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,990 drink�apple juice�out�of�a�straw. 560 00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,367 [Claire]�Love�that. 561 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,827 [pop] 562 00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:28,662 You�are...an accelerated�student. 563 00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:32,207 Basically,�my personal�style�is�Clueless, 564 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:35,167 it's�Dionne,�it's�Stacey Dash�before�we�got�really�upset 565 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,837 with�her. 566 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,463 curious�music 567 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:40,673 They�look�kinda�bored�or�like they'd�rather�be�somewhere�else, 568 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:43,864 but�you�have�to�be�you, even�when�they're�not�helping. 569 00:21:43,885 --> 00:21:46,471 This�is�inspired by�Condoleezza�Rice. 570 00:21:50,220 --> 00:21:53,686 Whenever�I'm thinking�about�looks, 571 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,354 I'm�channeling characters,�right? 572 00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,899 So�there�is�this one-�this�look! 573 00:21:57,941 --> 00:22:01,069 And�it�was�inspired by,�um,�Patrick�Starr. 574 00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:03,112 So�it's�a�very�famous�meme in�which�Patrick�Starr- 575 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,864 -[Claire]�I'm-�I'm�familiar. -[Ziwe]�Yeah,�exactly! 576 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,283 So�I�was�like,�"Okay, like,�I�wanna�dress�like�a 577 00:22:07,284 --> 00:22:08,326 slutty�starfish." 578 00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,453 -[pop] -You�do�you. 579 00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:10,870 Who�else�can�do�it�better? 580 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,663 [woman]�It's�so�weird;�we usually�have,�like,�music. 581 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:13,999 [laughs] 582 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,333 I�think�you�can�listen�to the�sound�of�me�humming. 583 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,085 La�la�la�la�la 584 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:19,254 -[pop] -I�love�gospel�music. 585 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,713 We�also�have music�prepared,�too. 586 00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,131 We�found�some license-free�beats. 587 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:23,674 -[woman]�Oh,�we�did? -Hit�the�song! 588 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,510 [camera�clicking] 589 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:27,637 "The Star-Spangled�Banner" 590 00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:28,888 [woman]�And�then�lean�back and�go�back�to�the�one�where�you 591 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:29,889 were�just,�like,�really�relaxed. 592 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:30,890 Yeah. 593 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,017 [camera�clicking] 594 00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:33,517 No,�you're�good,�you're�good. 595 00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:33,768 [Ziwe]�I�said�that�you guys�would�all�know�the�words! 596 00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:34,727 [woman]�[laughs] 597 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,313 Nice! 598 00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:37,355 Cool! 599 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,690 Awesome! 600 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:41,192 [Ziwe]�Thank�you�for letting�us�shoot�you�shoot�us. 601 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:42,861 Merci, � Coveteur � ! 602 00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:45,864 This�is�the�magic�of � Ziwe � . 603 00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:47,157 Wow,�we�did�it! 604 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,700 Guys,�this�was�so�fun! 605 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:50,327 Thank�you! 606 00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:52,788 [camera�clicking] 607 00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:53,913 My�work�is�done�here. 608 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,333 [camera�click] 609 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,543 jaunty�music 610 00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:01,296 "Butterflies�don't�poop." 611 00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:04,256 I�remember�the�first�time�I�was going�away�with�a�guy�for�the 612 00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:07,343 weekend,�and�I-�I�didn't-�I didn't�know�how�that�was�all 613 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,720 gonna�function. 614 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,514 I�was�so�intimidated. 615 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:12,306 You�didn't�take�a dump�in�front�of�him? 616 00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:12,890 [tape�fast-forwarding] 617 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:16,144 I�found�a�bathroom downstairs�in�the�lobby. 618 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,687 Now,�years�laters,�can you�shit�in�front�of�a�date? 619 00:23:18,688 --> 00:23:19,522 [tape�fast-forwarding] 620 00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,857 Well,�not�in�front�of. 621 00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,274 Or�on�top�of�- who�am�I�to�judge? 622 00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,069 [laughs] 623 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,111 Two�Girls,�One�Cup? 624 00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:26,529 -[tape�fast-forwarding] -[Drew]�Um... 625 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,155 How�do�you�know what�that�is,�Drew?! 626 00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,157 And,�by�the�way, it�didn't�look�real. 627 00:23:30,158 --> 00:23:31,367 As�a�child�star,�you were�like,�"I�could�see-" 628 00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,494 "I�see�the�cables. 629 00:23:32,536 --> 00:23:33,703 That�is... 630 00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:36,206 frothy�mousse�and�not�poop." 631 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,206 So�what�you're�saying�is- 632 00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,918 I�believe�that�Two Girls,�One�Cup�is�fake. 633 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,043 [tape�fast-forwarding] 634 00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,588 More�like�Two�Girls, One,�like,�Parfait. 635 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:44,755 [tape�fast-forwarding] 636 00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,341 Or�Budino. 637 00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,427 Wow,�she's�a�truther. 638 00:23:48,477 --> 00:23:53,027 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 51749

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