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- Action.
- Design.
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00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,702
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
2
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,665
♪ Ding, dong, ding ♪
3
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,590
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
4
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,886
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪
5
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:57,431
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪
6
00:00:57,432 --> 00:01:00,101
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪
7
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:03,396
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
8
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:06,191
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪
9
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,319
Another one?
10
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:14,323
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.
11
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,576
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪
12
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,247
♪ Hung where you can see ♪
13
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,332
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪
14
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,585
Ho, ho.
15
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,339
Bitter. Pint.
16
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,133
You just get off?
17
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,760
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪
18
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,221
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪
19
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,140
I'm taking a break.
20
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:41,309
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.
21
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,893
- Hmm.
- You ain't driving, are you?
22
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,939
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.
23
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:50,276
Mm-hmm.
24
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,486
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.
25
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:53,779
Ah.
26
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,031
How about you?
27
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,116
Lost count.
28
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,286
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.
29
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:03,581
Same reason anybody
does anything.
30
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:05,374
The money.
31
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,044
Money. Money.
32
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,047
This whole planet runs on greed.
33
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,178
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?
34
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,804
That's what does it for me.
35
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,475
Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
36
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,685
Lasts about two seconds.
37
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,104
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,
38
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,565
they want the next present,
39
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:32,318
they want the next cool thing.
40
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,320
That's how this world works.
41
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,364
And kids...
What kids have become.
42
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:40,534
They're just like
little junkies.
43
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,204
They're little shits.
They just demand.
44
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,747
They don't believe.
45
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:48,460
They just want, crave, consume.
46
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,966
Maybe this is my last year.
47
00:02:58,053 --> 00:03:00,222
The last Christmas.
48
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:07,312
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.
49
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,106
Put his drinks on my tab.
50
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,565
- Okay?
- Yeah.
51
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,193
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.
52
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,612
I better get going.
53
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,824
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.
54
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,867
Oh, uh...
55
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,744
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.
56
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,788
It's, uh, that new video game.
57
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,499
It's Astro Blaster,
Blaster Astro.
58
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,501
I-I don't know.
59
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,877
Merry Christmas.
60
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,380
How'd he know
my grandson's name?
61
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,591
How'd he know I have
a grandson? -
62
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:41,887
Oi! That door leads to the roof.
63
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,222
Piss head.
64
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,767
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
65
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,313
Hey! You can't be up here.
66
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,985
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...
67
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,257
My God.
68
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,097
It's...
69
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,601
beauti...
70
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,649
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
71
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,985
There she is. Hello, muffin.
72
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,322
Let's go see Grandma.
73
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,491
Ooh.
74
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,744
Merry Christmas.
75
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,664
Merry Christmas, Trudy.
76
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:32,748
Merry...
77
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,500
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
78
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,921
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.
79
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,507
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.
80
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:42,591
Uh-huh.
81
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,511
It was so funny.
82
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,972
- Yep.
- That... that hurts.
83
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,515
- All morning.
- Okay, um...
84
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,560
Thank you.
85
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,478
For doing this.
86
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,690
I'm not doing it for you.
87
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,484
- It's Christmas!
- Yeah!
88
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,380
Merry Christmas, Al.
89
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,215
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
90
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,259
- Mr. Lightstone.
- Hey, Al.
91
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,635
Hey, you back there, Tru?
92
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,387
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.
93
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,097
What did you ask Santa for?
94
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,849
Not to work on Christmas Eve.
95
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,434
Must've been naughty this year,
96
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,060
- 'cause here I am.
- Mm-hmm.
97
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,062
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.
98
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,606
- Yeah.
- Have a merry one, now.
99
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,608
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, Al.
100
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,651
Merry Christmas, Tru.
101
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,194
- Thank you, Al.
- Yeah.
102
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,763
I can't remember
where the second one is.
103
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,933
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
104
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,685
Merry Christmas.
105
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,771
Hope you're on the nice list.
106
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,524
That doesn't go over there.
107
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,909
Excuse me.
108
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,955
What the hell is this?
109
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,333
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.
110
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,335
It's lengthwise, not width.
111
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:43,212
Unbelievable.
112
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,813
Okay.
113
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,023
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
114
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,984
- Hi.
- I'm fine. Thank you so much.
115
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:11,574
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.
116
00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,161
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.
117
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,371
I need a drink.
118
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,831
♪ Two turtledoves ♪
119
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,917
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪
120
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,171
Hey, look at that.
121
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,931
Hi, Linda.
122
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,975
- Hey.
- How's it going, Alva?
123
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,893
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.
124
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,771
Looks good on you, though.
125
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,690
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
126
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,401
'Sup, limp dick?
127
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,528
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.
128
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,697
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
129
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,699
'Cause I think this is the year
130
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,492
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs
131
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,203
and choose one of us
to start running the show.
132
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:02,709
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.
133
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:05,919
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be
134
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,714
without groveling
and infighting?
135
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,758
Your rosé, ma'am.
136
00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,510
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
137
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:14,636
Mm.
138
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,222
Good. Good girl.
139
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,727
I am sorry about my sister.
140
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,229
♪ Making spirits bright ♪
141
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,107
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪
142
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,569
It is really nice to see you.
143
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,697
To have you here.
144
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,950
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪
145
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:40,412
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.
146
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,247
Hot goss. Okay.
147
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,043
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.
148
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:49,880
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker
149
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:53,760
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.
150
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,762
Hashtag "blessed."
151
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,306
He just got
what I can only assume
152
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,601
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.
153
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,269
Mom paid off the school,
154
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,438
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.
155
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,440
Of course she did.
156
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,566
What about Tragic Mike?
157
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,360
All I'm saying is,
158
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,028
if I was on one of those planes,
159
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,030
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists
160
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:18,784
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.
161
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,828
- Yeah. You like that?
- Yes. Yes.
162
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,038
- Yeah, I do like it.
- Ooh.
163
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,457
- Kiss me in front of my son.
- Now, huh?
164
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,001
Mm...
165
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,045
He might actually be
a decent actor.
166
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,130
Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job
167
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,716
of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -
168
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,220
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.
169
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,140
- It's Gertrude!
- It's Mom.
170
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,184
- Okay, let's do this.
- Okay, okay. Come on.
171
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,894
- Come on. Bert, get over here.
- No. Mom. Mom!
172
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,145
- Positions.
- Game time, buddy.
173
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,981
- Okay. Okay.
- This is my good side.
174
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,774
I'm busy.
We've gone over this! Come on!
175
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:51,900
Gosh. Okay.
176
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,068
Bert, get in the middle.
177
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,319
So it begins.
178
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,446
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.
179
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,532
Shall we jockey forward?
180
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,285
No.
181
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,037
No, we can hang back.
182
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,497
Yeah.
183
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,125
Trudy, honey?
184
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,086
Come on over here.
185
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,714
Just, like...
186
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,507
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.
187
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,800
This isn't rocket science.
188
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,344
Same shit we always do.
189
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,179
That's what?
190
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,640
That's the best you can do?
191
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,517
Excited to see your grandma?
192
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,852
Listen, you cocksucker.
193
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,812
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take
194
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,731
your best offer, gift wrap it,
195
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:33,693
and ram it up your fucking box.
196
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,362
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.
197
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,947
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.
198
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,782
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.
199
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,035
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?
200
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,662
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.
201
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,122
Oh, yeah.
202
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,707
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
203
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,752
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.
204
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,045
Grandma's cool.
205
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,339
I can make that story go away...
206
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,049
I think your brother's
up to something.
207
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,842
No, I just decided
to let you guys
208
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,719
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.
209
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,513
Please. You are King Suck-up.
210
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,558
You named your kid Gertrude.
211
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,227
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.
212
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,229
Okay.
213
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,940
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.
214
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,776
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.
215
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,779
Mom, I can hear you.
216
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:21,490
You know something we don't.
What is it?
217
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,950
No, I don't. I don't.
218
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,201
I got it. Bingo.
219
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,619
I'm onto you, man. Come on!
220
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,245
- We were just...
- Come on,
221
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,497
come on, come on, come on.
222
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,791
- You big sack of shit.
- Ooh.
223
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,626
No wonder your husband left you.
224
00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,879
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
225
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,257
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.
226
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,885
- Merry Christmas, Mommy.
- Merry Christmas.
227
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,762
Merry Christmas.
228
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,516
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?
229
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,351
Merry Christmas, Grandma!
230
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:51,436
- Aw.
- Little bitch.
231
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,981
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?
232
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,525
Everybody calls me Trudy now.
233
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,194
Trudy?
234
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,655
Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.
235
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,408
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.
236
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,743
I'm starving. Let's eat.
237
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,203
Great.
238
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,706
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.
239
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,000
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.
240
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,292
- Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
- Come on, Bertrude.
241
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:18,046
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪
242
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,717
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪
243
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:25,220
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪
244
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:28,850
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪
245
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:33,145
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪
246
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:36,440
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪
247
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:40,235
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪
248
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,029
♪ Just you and me ♪
249
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,657
♪ And Santa Claus ♪
250
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,998
♪ For soon will be ♪
251
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,667
♪ That magic time ♪
252
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,337
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪
253
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:01,840
♪ When that flying sleigh ♪
254
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,134
♪ Finally flies away ♪
255
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:07,345
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪
256
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:11,850
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪
257
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:15,187
♪ The best there ever was ♪
258
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:19,191
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪
259
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:22,028
Another fucking Christmas.
260
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,115
I made these all by myself.
261
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,700
- No way.
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,869
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.
263
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,372
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
264
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,749
Santa gets a candy cane, too?
265
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,000
Yeah.
266
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,503
Mm, okay.
267
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,546
It's perfect.
268
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,215
No peeking.
269
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,676
This house has so many chimneys.
270
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,221
How will Santa know
which one to come down?
271
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,098
Oh, Santa just knows.
272
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,892
Christmas magic.
273
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,562
Honey, what's wrong?
274
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:01,067
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.
275
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,070
He didn't.
276
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,449
I am so sorry.
277
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,202
This year has been weird.
278
00:15:12,203 --> 00:15:15,914
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.
279
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,417
Oh, honey. Come here.
280
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,714
You know what?
281
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:28,927
You go put your pj's on,
282
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,014
and I will be two minutes.
283
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,106
Yes!
284
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,985
Okay...
285
00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,619
Yes.
286
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,292
Yes!
287
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:05,172
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,
288
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:09,134
we decided that
you could have one gift...
289
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,011
early!
290
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,472
Really?
291
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,604
What is it?
292
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:25,108
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.
293
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,651
It's magic.
294
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,944
- Magic?
- Mm-hmm.
295
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,155
What you got right there
296
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,532
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.
297
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,285
- I can talk to Santa?
- Oh, yeah.
298
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:39,122
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.
299
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,248
Mm-hmm.
300
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,043
Now, the only thing is,
301
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,420
he might not have time
to answer you.
302
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,464
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.
303
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:48,798
Mm-hmm.
304
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,385
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.
305
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,684
Hello, Santa?
306
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:03,146
This is Trudy Lightstone.
307
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,190
I hope you're having
a nice night.
308
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,359
Mm.
309
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:12,114
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.
310
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:16,243
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
311
00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:18,036
I was extra good this year,
312
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,208
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.
313
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,418
But then...
314
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,839
then I realized
I don't need any of that.
315
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,469
I really only want
one present for Christmas.
316
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:38,807
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up
317
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,227
so we can be a family again.
318
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,104
Okay.
319
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,274
Good night, Santa.
320
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,568
Good night, Mr. Bunny.
321
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,749
Which one of you did that?
322
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,418
You can't go two seconds without
323
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,254
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?
324
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:13,092
So unprofessional.
325
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:18,389
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.
326
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,279
Hmm.
327
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,368
Mmm.
328
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,294
Mmm, mmm.
329
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,629
Homemade.
330
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,007
Mmm.
331
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,845
Ugh.
332
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:00,431
Skim.
333
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,275
Oh, yeah.
334
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,403
That's the stuff.
335
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,743
Mmm.
336
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,495
DuBoi...
337
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,498
On some prewar shit
right there. -
338
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,918
Good shit.
339
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,180
Mmm.
340
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,848
That pairs well.
341
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,519
What do we have here?
342
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,452
Oh, yeah.
343
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:06,539
That's the stuff.
344
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,550
You know, uh...
345
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,553
Christmas is all right,
346
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,224
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.
347
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,892
Oh, yeah? What?
348
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,520
Boxing Day.
349
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,429
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,
350
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,222
live streaming the dream,
you know.
351
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,767
They say the richest man...
352
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,561
Say goodbye.
353
00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:13,522
And if you...
354
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,692
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.
355
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,360
Damn it!
356
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:21,947
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.
357
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,424
Hey. Merry Christmas.
358
00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,092
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?
359
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:45,136
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.
360
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,388
- You know what I'm saying?
- Can I help you?
361
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,349
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,
362
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:50,975
my car broke down
a little ways...
363
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,810
Out here?
This is a private road.
364
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:54,812
You're telling me.
365
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,106
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.
366
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,399
I think I got frostbite.
367
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,734
Where the hell am I, anyway?
368
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,486
G.T. Lightstone family compound.
369
00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:03,322
I'll call you a tow.
370
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:14,374
All right, revelers.
371
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,167
Time to steal Christmas.
372
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,418
Sound off.
373
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,003
Jingle. Check.
374
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,588
Peppermint. Check.
375
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,173
Sugarplum. Check.
376
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,134
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
377
00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:26,928
Candy Cane. Check.
378
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,556
- Go for Frosty.
- Go for Tinsel.
379
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,266
Go for Gingerbread.
380
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,227
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?
381
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,728
'Tis the season.
382
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:39,524
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.
383
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,903
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.
384
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:45,530
She loves going with her father.
385
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:47,198
And you should've
taken her yesterday,
386
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,575
like you do every Christmas,
387
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,285
but we didn't even
hear from you.
388
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,619
Mom put me on a special project.
389
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:53,037
- It's complicated.
- But it's not,
390
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,123
because it keeps happening
over and over.
391
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:57,710
Your mother forcing herself between us.
You're right.
392
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:04,674
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?
393
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:06,759
You're trying to win me back
394
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,429
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?
395
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:12,766
What if things
really changed this time?
396
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:16,978
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.
397
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,771
We'll walk away.
398
00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,483
From the company, the family.
399
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:25,821
Tonight.
400
00:23:26,614 --> 00:23:28,157
What are you up to?
401
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,744
Let's go.
402
00:24:14,745 --> 00:24:17,246
We need to get you out of here.
403
00:24:17,247 --> 00:24:18,998
Mommy, where are you going?
404
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,792
- She's going for the panic room!
- What?
405
00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:22,127
- Yes. Go, Bertrude.
- Without us?
406
00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:30,135
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
407
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,783
There isn't room for all of us.
408
00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,535
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.
409
00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:57,495
- Mom!
- Oh. Yeah.
410
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,123
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?
411
00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:03,042
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.
412
00:25:03,043 --> 00:25:04,752
- Move it!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
413
00:25:04,753 --> 00:25:06,879
You're supposed to protect us.
414
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,549
We protect the primary asset.
415
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,720
Who the hell are you?
416
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:16,682
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
417
00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:18,850
Hilarious.
418
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:20,185
Get him.
419
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:31,155
Bah humbug, motherfucker.
420
00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,791
Hey. Step aside.
421
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,544
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.
422
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,756
I want all the Lightstones
together.
423
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,258
Kill anybody else you find.
424
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:04,229
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
425
00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:07,608
Trudy, honey, we got to go.
426
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,109
Wake up, honey. Wake up.
427
00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:12,905
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.
428
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,247
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.
429
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:25,374
Fuck! Fuck!
430
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:26,919
Mistletoe, gingerbread.
431
00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:52,194
Hey!
432
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,280
Oh. Oh.
433
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,740
Hi.
434
00:26:57,741 --> 00:27:00,201
You got me.
435
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:02,787
I don't want any trouble, okay?
436
00:27:02,788 --> 00:27:04,497
Downstairs. Now.
437
00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:08,167
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.
438
00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:10,586
I just...
I just have a job to do.
439
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:11,963
Okay? That's it.
440
00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,465
I'm just gonna take my bag,
441
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,302
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.
442
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,681
Enough talk. Let's go.
443
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,224
You don't want to do this.
444
00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:24,434
What? This?
445
00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:27,478
Now, move!
446
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,480
Are you deaf?
447
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,483
Fucking move!
448
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:44,161
No, no, no.
449
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:47,331
No! Wait!
450
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:48,666
Wait.
451
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:50,334
Wait! Don't go!
452
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:52,212
Come back!
453
00:29:07,287 --> 00:29:09,039
Oh, fuck!
454
00:29:33,146 --> 00:29:34,648
Oh, shit.
455
00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:59,798
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.
456
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:11,475
♪ Violent night ♪
457
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,562
♪ Gory night ♪
458
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,731
♪ All is calm ♪
459
00:30:16,732 --> 00:30:20,986
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪
460
00:30:21,778 --> 00:30:23,154
Cute.
461
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:26,283
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?
462
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:32,496
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.
463
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:34,623
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think
464
00:30:34,624 --> 00:30:36,167
that I spent months
465
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,836
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure
466
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,463
private residence in the country
467
00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:42,214
and I didn't know
who lived here?
468
00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:43,799
Well, you're wrong.
469
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,761
'Cause your staff are dead.
470
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:48,888
Your security are dead.
471
00:30:48,889 --> 00:30:52,184
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!
472
00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:22,339
Oh, fuck.
473
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:26,550
We planned it. It's all right.
474
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,177
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.
475
00:31:28,178 --> 00:31:29,720
Better be solved.
476
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,098
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.
477
00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:33,558
Oh, my God.
478
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,227
If they didn't have guns,
479
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:38,270
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.
480
00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:40,397
Try all of them.
481
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:43,025
Ew, Mom. Yuck.
482
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:44,819
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know
483
00:31:44,820 --> 00:31:47,614
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.
484
00:31:48,490 --> 00:31:51,117
But my father
never called the police.
485
00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:53,619
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,
486
00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:57,206
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.
487
00:31:57,207 --> 00:32:00,876
And the kidnappers
were never found.
488
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,963
If you get me.
489
00:32:04,506 --> 00:32:06,006
I know.
490
00:32:06,007 --> 00:32:08,717
I know all about
your extraction team
491
00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:10,803
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"
492
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:12,596
behind closed doors.
493
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:14,515
I also know
that they're on their way
494
00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:16,517
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.
495
00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:19,436
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.
496
00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:21,105
If you get me.
497
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,274
Then you should also know
you're already dead.
498
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,109
We don't do ransoms.
499
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:27,736
Again, I know. I know.
500
00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:29,738
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.
501
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:31,490
I really do.
502
00:32:31,491 --> 00:32:34,577
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars
503
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:36,704
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.
504
00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,956
- The fuck?
- That's right.
505
00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,709
300 million that
the U.S. government
506
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:45,171
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East
507
00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,839
to all the worst people,
508
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:51,010
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.
509
00:32:51,011 --> 00:32:55,598
300 million that... oops...
Disappeared in the fog of war.
510
00:32:55,599 --> 00:32:58,809
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?
511
00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,144
'Cause you stole it.
512
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,729
Did you know about this?
513
00:33:01,730 --> 00:33:03,189
Man, this family.
514
00:33:03,190 --> 00:33:06,358
This moneygrubbing family.
515
00:33:06,359 --> 00:33:08,235
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,
516
00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:10,654
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal
517
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,531
to keep Tiny Tim warm.
518
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:15,701
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?
519
00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,494
Talk all you want.
520
00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:19,330
You'll never get in the vault.
521
00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:22,833
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,
522
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,501
it reset the combination?
523
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:28,173
I keep telling you, I know.
524
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:35,846
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?
525
00:33:35,847 --> 00:33:40,517
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?
526
00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:42,186
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,
527
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:43,687
but there was something
romantic about that.
528
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,940
Boss, you copy?
529
00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:47,900
I'm kind of busy here.
530
00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:50,362
You're gonna want to see this.
531
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,372
Maybe he fell.
532
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,790
You rappel down buildings
with him.
533
00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:05,210
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?
534
00:34:06,044 --> 00:34:08,045
All right, look lively, gang.
535
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,798
We got a gopher.
536
00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:26,730
You know what?
537
00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:30,901
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.
538
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:32,903
So, let's tuck him in.
539
00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:34,531
Okay?
540
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:37,409
It's gonna be okay.
541
00:34:51,298 --> 00:34:53,841
Hello? Santa?
542
00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,802
Are you there?
543
00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:03,393
Shit.
544
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:10,149
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.
545
00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:11,859
Oh, shit.
546
00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,653
Shit. Shit. Shit.
547
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,742
Video game.
548
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:21,243
Video game.
549
00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:23,454
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword
550
00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,583
or Molotov cocktails?
551
00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:36,801
Wait.
552
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,234
Mommy, I love you.
553
00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:56,653
Poetry book.
554
00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:59,115
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!
555
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:04,328
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
556
00:36:04,329 --> 00:36:06,997
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
557
00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:09,124
♪ Ah-ooh ♪
558
00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:11,669
- ♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh... ♪
559
00:36:13,254 --> 00:36:15,215
Safety's on, dipshit.
560
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:20,219
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
561
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:22,596
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
562
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:24,223
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
563
00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:26,016
♪ I look for him because ♪
564
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,976
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
565
00:36:27,977 --> 00:36:29,353
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪
566
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,939
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.
567
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,358
I don't want to kill you.
568
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,115
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.
569
00:36:41,116 --> 00:36:43,201
Eh?
570
00:36:43,743 --> 00:36:45,786
Santa...
571
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:47,831
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.
572
00:36:52,127 --> 00:36:55,170
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪
573
00:36:55,171 --> 00:36:58,715
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
574
00:36:58,716 --> 00:37:01,301
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪
575
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,221
Oh, shit.
576
00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:08,892
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
577
00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,229
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
578
00:37:12,856 --> 00:37:15,732
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
579
00:37:15,733 --> 00:37:17,526
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
580
00:37:17,527 --> 00:37:19,278
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
581
00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:21,238
♪ Christmas Eve ♪
582
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:32,207
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪
583
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:33,792
♪ To crack his castanets ♪
584
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:37,671
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪
585
00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:41,633
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪
586
00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:45,596
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪
587
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:48,557
- ♪ Mamacita ♪
- ♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
588
00:37:48,558 --> 00:37:51,101
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
589
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:52,269
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
590
00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,271
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪
591
00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:55,981
♪ Mamacita, ah-ooh ♪
592
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:59,526
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Christmas Eve ♪
593
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:02,446
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
594
00:38:02,447 --> 00:38:04,114
♪ Mamacita ♪
595
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,367
- ♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
- ♪ Mamacita. ♪
596
00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:50,369
Ah, God.
597
00:38:50,370 --> 00:38:52,080
Whew.
598
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:56,083
Whew. Whew.
599
00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:58,168
This is Candy Cane checking in.
600
00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,879
Compound is clear and secured.
601
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:04,092
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?
602
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,511
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.
603
00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:10,389
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.
604
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:13,016
Is there a 911 thing on here?
605
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:15,519
My...
606
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,479
Am I doing that correct?
607
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:18,814
Hello?
608
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:20,774
Hello, can anybody hear me?
609
00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:23,360
Can you hear me, Santa?
610
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,446
Hello?
611
00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:28,032
Santa?
612
00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:32,954
Yeah, this is Santa.
613
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:38,376
I hope I'm not bothering you.
614
00:39:39,752 --> 00:39:42,630
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.
615
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:46,300
I'm...
616
00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:48,510
I'm on a break.
617
00:39:48,511 --> 00:39:50,722
Who-who am I speaking to?
618
00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,017
My name is Trudy Lightstone,
619
00:39:55,018 --> 00:39:58,478
and I've been very good
this year.
620
00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:00,398
Trudy...
621
00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:04,736
Trudy Lightstone.
622
00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:15,787
Yeah, Trudy.
623
00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:18,165
You're on my nice list.
624
00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:20,710
You've been a very good girl
this year.
625
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,464
Where are you now, Trudy?
626
00:40:25,715 --> 00:40:28,550
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.
627
00:40:28,551 --> 00:40:31,929
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.
628
00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,224
Oh, no. Six left.
629
00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:38,561
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
630
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,688
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.
631
00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:44,399
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.
632
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,987
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...
633
00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:51,365
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
634
00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:55,327
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...
635
00:40:55,328 --> 00:40:56,621
The ass.
636
00:40:59,457 --> 00:41:00,999
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.
637
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,961
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.
638
00:41:05,296 --> 00:41:07,882
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?
639
00:41:08,675 --> 00:41:10,175
I mean, it's borderline.
640
00:41:10,176 --> 00:41:11,802
How about "anus"?
641
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:16,139
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...
642
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,974
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.
643
00:41:17,975 --> 00:41:20,727
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.
644
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,397
You probably know this house
better than anybody.
645
00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:25,315
You got any suggestions?
646
00:41:25,316 --> 00:41:26,943
I have an idea.
647
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:31,780
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus
648
00:41:31,781 --> 00:41:33,700
running around here?
649
00:41:36,869 --> 00:41:38,912
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,
650
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:40,455
but who the hell is he?
651
00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:42,666
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.
652
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,000
Yeah, there's more.
653
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:45,711
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.
654
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:47,671
All right, keep trying.
655
00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:51,883
All right, it's official.
656
00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:53,802
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.
657
00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:55,220
Watch your backs.
658
00:42:00,184 --> 00:42:02,937
Al? Al?
659
00:42:09,152 --> 00:42:11,028
Oh, shit.
660
00:42:18,703 --> 00:42:20,370
Oh, shit!
661
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:23,708
Frosty, what's your status?
662
00:42:27,170 --> 00:42:29,213
Frosty, sound off.
663
00:42:30,214 --> 00:42:33,092
Uh, Frosty?
664
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:35,844
Is-is that, uh...
665
00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,763
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?
666
00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:39,473
Your-your friend is dead.
667
00:42:39,474 --> 00:42:42,726
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.
668
00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:44,644
It's a long story.
669
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,481
Oh.
670
00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:49,649
Is this... is this our Santy?
671
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:52,569
Is this our... our Santy Claus?
672
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,155
Yeah, it is.
673
00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:56,865
To whom am I speaking?
674
00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:58,867
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.
675
00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:02,788
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?
676
00:43:02,789 --> 00:43:05,332
I want you to put down
your weapons,
677
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:08,251
I want you to let
this family go,
678
00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:10,128
and then I want to find
my reindeer,
679
00:43:10,129 --> 00:43:12,632
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.
680
00:43:15,384 --> 00:43:16,927
Are you fucking with me?
681
00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:19,221
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?
682
00:43:19,222 --> 00:43:21,848
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?
683
00:43:21,849 --> 00:43:24,309
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall
684
00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,561
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?
685
00:43:26,562 --> 00:43:27,979
Stop me when I get it right.
686
00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:30,273
It's a little more complicated
than that.
687
00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:31,900
Not to me, it's not.
688
00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:33,902
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,
689
00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:38,240
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you
690
00:43:38,241 --> 00:43:41,910
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.
691
00:43:41,911 --> 00:43:44,454
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.
692
00:43:44,455 --> 00:43:48,583
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.
693
00:43:48,584 --> 00:43:52,338
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.
694
00:43:53,631 --> 00:43:56,300
Santa Claus is coming to town.
695
00:44:07,687 --> 00:44:09,146
Shit.
696
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:20,323
All right, who did you hire
697
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:22,993
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?
698
00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:25,036
I said, who's playing Santa
699
00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:26,496
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?
700
00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:29,416
I didn't hire a Santa.
701
00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:32,377
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.
702
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:33,753
So, who is he?
703
00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:36,590
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪
704
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,467
Huh? Who is he?
705
00:44:39,468 --> 00:44:41,011
Somebody better start talking,
706
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:44,097
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...
707
00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:48,686
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
708
00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:53,732
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family
709
00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:56,818
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion
710
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:59,571
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.
711
00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:01,573
And who should I pick first?
712
00:45:01,574 --> 00:45:02,991
Should I go by age?
713
00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:04,659
Shh.
714
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:06,328
Or should I go by IQ?
715
00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:09,789
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.
716
00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:11,833
- Yep. Him.
- The one in the sweater.
717
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:14,210
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.
718
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:15,462
- The number one son.
- No.
719
00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:16,963
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...
720
00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,381
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.
721
00:45:18,382 --> 00:45:20,550
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.
722
00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:21,760
No. No, no, no, no.
723
00:45:21,761 --> 00:45:23,261
Don't, don't, don't.
724
00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:25,555
No, don't... Put it...
Don't... No. -
725
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:27,767
- No, no, no, no. No, no.
- Give me this fucking...
726
00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:39,486
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.
727
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:41,112
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.
728
00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:42,155
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.
729
00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:44,282
What are we doing here? Come on.
730
00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:47,369
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.
731
00:45:47,370 --> 00:45:50,498
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.
732
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,667
Okay, Candy Cane.
733
00:45:53,668 --> 00:45:55,043
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.
734
00:45:55,044 --> 00:45:56,252
I'm not touching his balls.
735
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:57,963
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?
736
00:45:57,964 --> 00:45:59,589
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.
737
00:45:59,590 --> 00:46:01,049
You want me
to scoop his brains out,
738
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:02,592
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,
739
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:03,760
but I'm not touching his junk.
740
00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:05,178
I don't care who does it.
741
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:06,763
I better be looking
at flat balls,
742
00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:08,014
like, in three seconds.
743
00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:10,600
I'll do it.
744
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,893
Krampus. Perfect.
745
00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:13,269
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.
746
00:46:13,270 --> 00:46:14,771
That's what I love
about sociopaths.
747
00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:16,064
Always up for trying new things.
748
00:46:16,065 --> 00:46:17,399
You don't need to do this, okay?
749
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,317
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.
750
00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:21,861
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
751
00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:24,407
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
752
00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:27,575
Put your nuts in.
753
00:46:27,576 --> 00:46:28,952
Yummy, yummy.
754
00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:31,705
Stop hurting my daddy...
755
00:46:31,706 --> 00:46:34,125
or Santa will get mad.
756
00:46:34,959 --> 00:46:37,168
Ah, what a cutie.
757
00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:39,254
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?
758
00:46:39,255 --> 00:46:41,173
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.
759
00:46:42,049 --> 00:46:43,800
He wasn't asking you.
760
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:46,219
She's playing make-believe.
761
00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:48,471
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.
762
00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:50,473
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,
763
00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:52,392
and he said
he's going to save us.
764
00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:53,476
No.
765
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,729
- And beat you up.
- Oh, is he?
766
00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:58,273
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?
767
00:46:58,274 --> 00:46:59,858
What do you say you come with me
768
00:46:59,859 --> 00:47:02,110
and we play a little game with him, huh?
No, no, no.
769
00:47:02,111 --> 00:47:03,486
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.
770
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:05,321
- You aren't talking to Santa.
- Yes, I am.
771
00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:06,656
No, you're not. Come on, now.
772
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,493
Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!
773
00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:19,503
I'm sorry, honey.
774
00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:22,672
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids
775
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:24,884
to make them feel better, okay?
776
00:47:26,886 --> 00:47:29,012
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,
777
00:47:29,013 --> 00:47:31,015
and we say they're from Santa.
778
00:47:32,183 --> 00:47:33,767
He's not coming to save us.
779
00:47:33,768 --> 00:47:35,977
He doesn't exist.
780
00:47:35,978 --> 00:47:38,397
It's all made-up.
781
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,733
- Really?
- Aw.
782
00:47:41,734 --> 00:47:44,569
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.
783
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:46,613
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny
784
00:47:46,614 --> 00:47:48,782
for her, too, huh?
785
00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:50,200
- Trudy!
- Come back here!
786
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,659
- Stop her!
- Trudy! -Hey!
787
00:47:51,660 --> 00:47:53,161
You idiots, stay at your posts.
788
00:47:53,162 --> 00:47:54,621
Trudy!
789
00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:56,957
I'll find this little brat.
790
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,483
Okay.
791
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:36,097
Santa. Santa.
792
00:49:36,098 --> 00:49:37,975
Santa!
793
00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:41,478
This is Trudy.
794
00:49:42,313 --> 00:49:45,482
Are you okay, Santa?
795
00:49:47,568 --> 00:49:48,985
Hi. Hey.
796
00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:50,820
Are you okay?
797
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:52,655
I'm good. Uh...
798
00:49:52,656 --> 00:49:55,033
I was just wrapping
something up.
799
00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:57,243
I ran away and hid in the attic.
800
00:49:57,244 --> 00:50:00,496
Okay. If you're safe...
801
00:50:00,497 --> 00:50:03,499
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?
802
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:08,338
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.
803
00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:10,006
Okay, I don't know
what that means,
804
00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:11,716
but, uh, yeah, do that.
805
00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:13,636
Just do it quietly.
806
00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:17,014
Are you really Santa?
807
00:50:20,851 --> 00:50:22,853
Of course I am, sweetheart.
808
00:50:23,729 --> 00:50:26,607
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.
809
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:31,236
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real
810
00:50:31,237 --> 00:50:32,946
to make them feel better.
811
00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:35,823
He said they give us presents
812
00:50:35,824 --> 00:50:38,117
and say they're from Santa.
813
00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:40,245
Yeah.
814
00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:42,497
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
815
00:50:42,498 --> 00:50:46,543
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.
816
00:50:47,836 --> 00:50:50,130
Kids who really believe.
817
00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:54,300
How do you know
who really needs you?
818
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:56,511
Christmas magic.
819
00:50:56,512 --> 00:50:58,806
I'm not really sure
how it works.
820
00:51:06,605 --> 00:51:08,899
But, uh...
821
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:14,195
I remember, um...
822
00:51:14,196 --> 00:51:16,114
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.
823
00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:18,533
She must have been
about six years old,
824
00:51:18,534 --> 00:51:22,370
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.
825
00:51:22,371 --> 00:51:24,789
She missed having a best friend.
826
00:51:24,790 --> 00:51:26,124
And so I brought her
827
00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:28,001
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.
828
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,377
Mr. Bunny.
829
00:51:29,378 --> 00:51:31,337
And then I remember
the next year,
830
00:51:31,338 --> 00:51:33,464
and you said you had
this amazing dream
831
00:51:33,465 --> 00:51:37,510
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...
832
00:51:37,511 --> 00:51:38,761
To fly!
833
00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:41,181
To fly. To fly.
834
00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:46,894
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...
835
00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:50,607
making a little girl fly?
836
00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:56,863
But giving you a kite,
837
00:51:56,864 --> 00:52:00,325
floating just beneath
the clouds,
838
00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:03,161
well, it's about
as good as it gets.
839
00:52:03,162 --> 00:52:05,038
I knew it.
840
00:52:05,039 --> 00:52:07,416
I knew you were real, Santa.
841
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,130
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?
842
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:17,718
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.
843
00:52:18,552 --> 00:52:20,845
Can you use your Christmas magic
844
00:52:20,846 --> 00:52:23,181
to make them
love each other again?
845
00:52:23,182 --> 00:52:25,726
I wish I had that kind of power.
846
00:52:26,518 --> 00:52:30,271
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,
847
00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:32,566
1,100, and...
848
00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:36,278
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.
849
00:52:37,112 --> 00:52:39,322
It takes work.
850
00:52:39,323 --> 00:52:41,450
A lot of work.
851
00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,995
Do you still love her?
852
00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:47,831
Yeah, I do.
853
00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:52,336
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...
854
00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:55,839
the magic just goes away.
855
00:52:57,883 --> 00:53:00,218
Hey.
856
00:53:00,219 --> 00:53:02,011
I've got an idea.
857
00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:03,639
This will be fun.
858
00:53:04,681 --> 00:53:07,934
Why don't you guys
open your presents?
859
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:12,230
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.
860
00:53:12,231 --> 00:53:18,194
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,
861
00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:21,198
so this could be
your only chance.
862
00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:23,491
Come on.
863
00:53:23,492 --> 00:53:26,245
Where's the Christmas spirit?
864
00:53:27,788 --> 00:53:29,873
Uh...
865
00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:35,169
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.
866
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:36,504
Did you hear that, Gertrude?
867
00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:38,464
He got you something amazing.
868
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:41,384
Oh, what could it be?
869
00:53:41,385 --> 00:53:43,803
Oh, my God, this is exciting.
870
00:53:43,804 --> 00:53:46,013
Mom.
871
00:53:46,014 --> 00:53:47,724
Can I call you Mom?
872
00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:50,561
Mrs. Lightstone.
873
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,774
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...
874
00:53:56,775 --> 00:53:58,235
a pitch deck.
875
00:53:59,153 --> 00:54:00,236
- Pitch deck.
- Yeah.
876
00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:02,029
It's called Explosive Force.
877
00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:03,573
Starring me.
878
00:54:03,574 --> 00:54:05,324
And if you look in the back,
879
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:08,786
there are the financial numbers.
880
00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:12,332
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
881
00:54:13,584 --> 00:54:15,751
Parts of Asia, at least.
882
00:54:15,752 --> 00:54:17,837
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,
883
00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,589
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.
884
00:54:19,590 --> 00:54:23,092
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...
885
00:54:23,093 --> 00:54:26,430
gift of a golden opportunity?
886
00:54:27,764 --> 00:54:30,017
Oh, no.
887
00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:33,728
Granny doesn't like it.
888
00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:36,356
Mother, I got you something
really special.
889
00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:45,281
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.
890
00:54:45,282 --> 00:54:47,325
I remember.
891
00:54:47,326 --> 00:54:48,701
I was there.
892
00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:50,954
She doesn't give a shit.
893
00:54:53,415 --> 00:54:55,124
Swing and miss again!
894
00:54:55,125 --> 00:54:56,417
This is so fun.
895
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:57,627
Mommy, how about another one?
896
00:54:57,628 --> 00:54:59,337
I got you a lot of good things.
897
00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:01,380
- I'll grab one.
- Alva, Alva, sit down.
898
00:55:01,381 --> 00:55:03,132
You've already given me one.
It's...
899
00:55:03,133 --> 00:55:04,383
It's Jason's turn.
900
00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:05,801
Uh...
901
00:55:05,802 --> 00:55:09,263
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.
902
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:11,516
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.
903
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:13,893
- No. It's in the...
- Yeah, I did.
904
00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:16,979
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...
905
00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:19,065
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...
906
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:21,692
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.
907
00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:23,153
Come on.
908
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:26,949
Thank you.
909
00:55:27,991 --> 00:55:30,201
It's my favorite whiskey.
910
00:55:30,202 --> 00:55:32,871
You can skip the note.
911
00:55:56,228 --> 00:55:57,980
Thank you, Jason.
912
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,695
What's the card say?
913
00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:08,614
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.
914
00:56:08,615 --> 00:56:12,744
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?
915
00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:16,915
Right.
916
00:56:17,874 --> 00:56:20,252
Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?
917
00:56:22,045 --> 00:56:24,088
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.
918
00:56:24,089 --> 00:56:27,759
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.
919
00:56:28,594 --> 00:56:30,887
I had a life before this.
920
00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:34,558
A long, long, long time ago.
921
00:56:38,729 --> 00:56:41,856
They used to call me, uh...
922
00:56:41,857 --> 00:56:43,775
Nicomund.
923
00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:49,156
Nicomund the Red.
924
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:53,492
You had a different job then?
925
00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:56,245
Yeah, you could say that.
926
00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:58,122
I was a warrior.
927
00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,207
A raider. A thief.
928
00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:04,003
And if somebody got in my way,
929
00:57:04,004 --> 00:57:05,755
me and Skullcrusher would...
930
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,424
Who's Skullcrusher?
931
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:11,385
Skullcrusher's my, uh...
932
00:57:11,386 --> 00:57:14,096
my hammer.
933
00:57:14,097 --> 00:57:16,349
My favorite hammer.
934
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:18,726
I was a surgeon with that thing.
935
00:57:18,727 --> 00:57:21,188
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...
936
00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:25,358
But why?
937
00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:26,817
What?
938
00:57:26,818 --> 00:57:29,446
Why'd you do those things?
939
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:33,492
Because I was mean.
940
00:57:34,660 --> 00:57:36,787
And I was greedy.
941
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:41,415
And I wanted gold, jewels.
942
00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:44,126
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,
943
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:46,129
I'd be top dog.
944
00:57:47,714 --> 00:57:49,841
Well, maybe...
945
00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:52,051
What?
946
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:54,179
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...
947
00:57:55,263 --> 00:57:58,558
maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.
948
00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:01,644
To help.
949
00:58:01,645 --> 00:58:03,562
What do you mean?
950
00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:07,942
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.
951
00:58:07,943 --> 00:58:11,362
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.
952
00:58:11,363 --> 00:58:13,240
A best friend.
953
00:58:14,282 --> 00:58:16,909
'Cause you're good and kind.
954
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:20,496
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.
955
00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:23,165
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.
956
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:25,585
That's why I believe.
957
00:58:31,174 --> 00:58:32,843
Thank you.
958
00:58:34,678 --> 00:58:38,639
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.
959
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,559
Stay safe.
960
00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:44,437
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.
961
00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:46,564
Extraction team's on the go.
962
00:58:46,565 --> 00:58:48,858
30 minutes.
963
00:58:48,859 --> 00:58:50,526
We're on schedule.
964
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:51,944
Everything's good.
965
00:58:51,945 --> 00:58:53,529
All right, fellas.
966
00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:54,947
Look alive, look alive.
967
00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:56,866
You all know the plan,
968
00:58:56,867 --> 00:59:00,244
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:
969
00:59:00,245 --> 00:59:03,038
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.
970
00:59:03,039 --> 00:59:07,585
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?
971
00:59:07,586 --> 00:59:09,670
Fuck their shit up right!
972
00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:11,339
Damn right.
973
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,843
Time to lube up.
974
00:59:15,969 --> 00:59:18,680
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!
975
00:59:24,603 --> 00:59:26,855
This fucking family.
976
00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:48,375
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
977
00:59:48,376 --> 00:59:50,169
Merry Christmas.
978
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:51,420
Happy holidays.
979
00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:52,547
Traitor.
980
00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,008
I got him in the east wing.
981
00:59:56,009 --> 00:59:58,470
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.
982
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:13,777
Step aside.
983
01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:30,084
Now, how did this tired, old,
984
01:00:30,085 --> 01:00:32,753
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?
985
01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:34,213
I don't know.
986
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:36,215
He's not even armed.
987
01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,634
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.
988
01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:40,053
What's in there?
989
01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:42,848
Can't see anything.
990
01:00:46,935 --> 01:00:48,395
Here, give it to me.
991
01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:01,991
What kind of moron...
992
01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:04,244
carries a chess set with him?
993
01:01:07,873 --> 01:01:09,415
What the fuck?
994
01:01:09,416 --> 01:01:11,960
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.
995
01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:22,177
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?
996
01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:23,846
It's magic.
997
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:26,766
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.
998
01:01:28,351 --> 01:01:31,104
I don't really understand
how it works, either.
999
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:35,524
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
1000
01:01:35,525 --> 01:01:37,526
That's right.
1001
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:39,320
But who are you?
1002
01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:41,364
Weihnachtsmann.
1003
01:01:42,741 --> 01:01:44,701
Julenissen.
1004
01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:47,495
Shèngdàn Laorén.
1005
01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:51,540
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.
1006
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:54,043
Jolly old Saint Nick.
1007
01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:57,088
People call me a lot of things.
1008
01:01:57,923 --> 01:02:00,549
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
1009
01:02:00,550 --> 01:02:02,927
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?
1010
01:02:02,928 --> 01:02:06,513
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?
1011
01:02:06,514 --> 01:02:08,349
They were on the roof
1012
01:02:08,350 --> 01:02:10,977
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...
1013
01:02:13,605 --> 01:02:15,230
You don't believe me?
1014
01:02:15,231 --> 01:02:16,357
Go check.
1015
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:19,109
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.
1016
01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:20,945
This fucking guy.
1017
01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:22,655
You don't think...
1018
01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:25,824
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.
1019
01:02:25,825 --> 01:02:27,910
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus
1020
01:02:27,911 --> 01:02:29,912
with a fucking trick bag.
1021
01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:31,914
Oh, no!
1022
01:02:31,915 --> 01:02:33,749
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!
1023
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:35,542
Oh, come on.
1024
01:02:35,543 --> 01:02:37,837
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.
1025
01:02:38,630 --> 01:02:41,256
My father used to make
a big deal out of it
1026
01:02:41,257 --> 01:02:43,050
every Christmas.
1027
01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:45,219
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents
1028
01:02:45,220 --> 01:02:47,429
and the candy
and the decorations
1029
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:51,226
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.
1030
01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:54,895
And then when I was...
1031
01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:58,315
I don't know, ten, 11,
1032
01:02:58,316 --> 01:03:00,275
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,
1033
01:03:00,276 --> 01:03:01,777
couldn't even afford a tree.
1034
01:03:01,778 --> 01:03:03,320
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.
1035
01:03:03,321 --> 01:03:05,949
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.
1036
01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:08,117
But our neighbors...
1037
01:03:08,118 --> 01:03:09,994
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.
1038
01:03:09,995 --> 01:03:11,787
I could see
all that yuletide cheer
1039
01:03:11,788 --> 01:03:14,331
through their window mocking me.
1040
01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:18,252
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...
1041
01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:21,296
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.
1042
01:03:21,297 --> 01:03:24,634
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.
1043
01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:28,178
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss
1044
01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:30,597
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.
1045
01:03:30,598 --> 01:03:33,642
And, um, he fell down the stairs
1046
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:38,188
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.
1047
01:03:38,189 --> 01:03:39,815
Everybody thought that I did it,
1048
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:41,316
and every time
I tried to tell them,
1049
01:03:41,317 --> 01:03:43,820
I tried to tell them that...
1050
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,656
Anyway, maybe I did do it.
1051
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:49,700
Maybe I did push him.
1052
01:03:49,701 --> 01:03:51,493
Poor old fucker.
1053
01:03:51,494 --> 01:03:54,997
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.
1054
01:03:54,998 --> 01:03:56,665
Okay? But you know what?
1055
01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:58,000
It set me on the path
1056
01:03:58,001 --> 01:04:00,044
and made me the great man
that I am today.
1057
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:02,088
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
1058
01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:04,424
I really am.
1059
01:04:05,258 --> 01:04:07,301
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.
1060
01:04:07,302 --> 01:04:09,511
I don't get involved
in people's lives.
1061
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:13,391
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!
1062
01:04:17,896 --> 01:04:21,065
Um, how did he know your name?
1063
01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:22,775
Oh, Bjorn.
1064
01:04:22,776 --> 01:04:24,902
What's your excuse?
1065
01:04:24,903 --> 01:04:26,487
Huh?
1066
01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,823
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?
1067
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:33,035
One you wrote me 50 times about!
1068
01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:34,536
What about you, Kira?
1069
01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:37,706
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.
1070
01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,208
That's naughty!
1071
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:41,126
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?
1072
01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:44,546
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"
1073
01:04:44,547 --> 01:04:46,757
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.
1074
01:04:46,758 --> 01:04:49,885
You're gonna tell me who you work for...
Oh, Christ. No.
1075
01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:53,180
Then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.
1076
01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:56,016
Five, four, three, two...
1077
01:04:56,017 --> 01:04:57,726
I'm Santa Claus!
1078
01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,021
Well, not anymore.
1079
01:05:24,921 --> 01:05:26,755
Is it snowing?
1080
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:30,176
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?
1081
01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:39,060
Let it snow!
1082
01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:52,781
It's not snow.
1083
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:54,116
It's Styrofoam.
1084
01:05:54,117 --> 01:05:56,369
I told you this guy's
a big phony.
1085
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:12,676
Where'd he go?
1086
01:06:12,677 --> 01:06:14,303
He went up the chimney.
1087
01:06:14,304 --> 01:06:15,971
- I saw it.
- I don't know,
1088
01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,806
he had a rig
or some pulley system
1089
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:19,808
- that just yanked him up.
- You can't fit up there.
1090
01:06:19,809 --> 01:06:21,518
- It's impossible.
- Oh, you see one weird thing,
1091
01:06:21,519 --> 01:06:23,854
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?
1092
01:06:23,855 --> 01:06:25,147
Incoming.
1093
01:06:25,148 --> 01:06:26,024
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.
1094
01:06:26,025 --> 01:06:27,816
Oh, my God.
1095
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,694
It's his reindeer.
1096
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:33,322
It's the extraction team.
1097
01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:35,533
Pull yourselves together!
1098
01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:54,761
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.
1099
01:06:56,221 --> 01:06:58,305
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.
1100
01:06:58,306 --> 01:07:00,515
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.
1101
01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:01,975
Fu...
1102
01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:03,143
Bertie.
1103
01:07:03,144 --> 01:07:04,687
Hashtag "blessed."
1104
01:07:07,732 --> 01:07:10,359
Yeah!
1105
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:11,360
Parkour.
1106
01:07:11,361 --> 01:07:12,527
Kill him, babe!
1107
01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:15,198
Oh!
1108
01:07:16,074 --> 01:07:17,700
Morgan's gonna save us.
1109
01:07:19,452 --> 01:07:23,206
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.
1110
01:07:30,213 --> 01:07:32,214
Hold your fire.
1111
01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:33,841
Barrel roll!
1112
01:07:35,551 --> 01:07:36,843
Easy, easy.
1113
01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:38,762
- Yeah!
- Easy.
1114
01:07:38,763 --> 01:07:40,055
Identify yourself.
1115
01:07:40,056 --> 01:07:42,432
I'm one of the hostages.
1116
01:07:42,433 --> 01:07:45,560
Morgan Steel, the actor.
1117
01:07:45,561 --> 01:07:48,563
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.
1118
01:07:48,564 --> 01:07:52,151
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.
1119
01:07:52,986 --> 01:07:54,903
What's the situation inside?
1120
01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:57,322
Bunch of ex-military guys,
1121
01:07:57,323 --> 01:07:59,324
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.
1122
01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:00,993
I think they're ready for you.
1123
01:08:00,994 --> 01:08:02,828
They better be.
1124
01:08:02,829 --> 01:08:04,913
We're on a tight schedule.
1125
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,749
Shit.
1126
01:08:10,086 --> 01:08:12,212
Oh, f...
1127
01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:15,508
- All right, let's move out.
- Let's move out.
1128
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:21,305
Come on.
1129
01:08:21,306 --> 01:08:23,515
You got to be kidding me.
1130
01:08:23,516 --> 01:08:25,225
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.
1131
01:08:25,226 --> 01:08:26,601
What kept you?
1132
01:08:26,602 --> 01:08:28,937
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.
1133
01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:31,398
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?
1134
01:08:31,399 --> 01:08:33,650
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around
1135
01:08:33,651 --> 01:08:36,236
complicating shit
and causing problems.
1136
01:08:36,237 --> 01:08:37,821
Who? Lightstone security?
1137
01:08:37,822 --> 01:08:39,406
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.
1138
01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:40,824
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,
1139
01:08:40,825 --> 01:08:43,035
there's something weird
about him.
1140
01:08:43,036 --> 01:08:44,661
Might be the real Santa.
1141
01:08:44,662 --> 01:08:47,122
- The fuck did she just say?
- Nothing, nothing.
1142
01:08:47,123 --> 01:08:48,206
She's joking.
1143
01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:50,710
My squad will take care of it.
1144
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:55,797
Beta Team, go find this asshole.
1145
01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:57,799
Go.
1146
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:02,137
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?
1147
01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:04,389
All right, you heard the man.
1148
01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:07,017
Time to kill Santa.
1149
01:09:07,018 --> 01:09:09,478
I've got him. He's on the roof.
1150
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:11,773
Roger that. I got eyes on him.
1151
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:31,167
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.
1152
01:09:38,132 --> 01:09:40,008
Here we go.
1153
01:09:40,009 --> 01:09:41,385
Our skeleton key.
1154
01:09:41,386 --> 01:09:43,261
The "open" magic stick.
1155
01:09:43,262 --> 01:09:44,971
This better fucking work.
1156
01:09:44,972 --> 01:09:47,641
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.
1157
01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:50,436
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.
1158
01:09:59,362 --> 01:10:00,862
As a kid, I loved
1159
01:10:00,863 --> 01:10:02,906
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much
1160
01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:05,868
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.
1161
01:10:06,786 --> 01:10:09,205
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.
1162
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,760
Is this a fucking joke?
1163
01:10:23,761 --> 01:10:24,971
No.
1164
01:10:26,347 --> 01:10:28,265
You said it would
fucking be here!
1165
01:10:28,266 --> 01:10:31,893
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.
1166
01:10:31,894 --> 01:10:34,188
I had guys on the inside.
1167
01:10:35,231 --> 01:10:38,942
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday
1168
01:10:38,943 --> 01:10:41,237
to this fucking mansion.
1169
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,911
Somebody must've intercepted it.
1170
01:10:52,915 --> 01:10:54,959
Son of a bitch.
1171
01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:18,899
Oh, shit.
1172
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,443
Santa, you okay?
1173
01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:23,028
Santa.
1174
01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:25,322
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.
1175
01:11:25,323 --> 01:11:27,115
They're on the naughty list.
1176
01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:30,119
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.
1177
01:11:30,953 --> 01:11:33,538
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.
1178
01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,332
No, no, don't say that.
1179
01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:37,334
The naughty list...
1180
01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:39,754
just grows and grows.
1181
01:11:48,471 --> 01:11:52,307
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.
1182
01:11:52,308 --> 01:11:54,392
Don't give up.
1183
01:11:54,393 --> 01:11:56,978
You make a wish this time,
Santa.
1184
01:11:56,979 --> 01:11:58,605
Just this once.
1185
01:11:58,606 --> 01:12:01,525
If you could have anything
in this world,
1186
01:12:01,526 --> 01:12:03,778
what would it be?
1187
01:12:09,492 --> 01:12:12,536
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,
1188
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:15,664
tell her how much I love her.
1189
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,500
Then you make
that wish come true.
1190
01:12:18,501 --> 01:12:20,669
Oh, shit.
1191
01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:23,005
No, no, no, no. No, no.
1192
01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:26,174
Oh, God.
1193
01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:29,011
No.
1194
01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:44,401
You said these guys,
they're naughty.
1195
01:12:44,402 --> 01:12:47,362
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?
1196
01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:49,239
I give them a lump of coal.
1197
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:51,492
Yeah. Give them their lumps.
1198
01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:54,995
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...
1199
01:12:54,996 --> 01:12:57,247
- Anuses.
- Yeah!
1200
01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,880
They're right outside.
1201
01:13:19,061 --> 01:13:21,563
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys
1202
01:13:21,564 --> 01:13:23,691
like a plate full of cookies.
1203
01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,614
Move, move.
1204
01:13:33,284 --> 01:13:35,077
Hey, lock it up.
1205
01:13:36,996 --> 01:13:38,831
Lights down.
1206
01:13:39,999 --> 01:13:41,916
Stay at my back.
1207
01:13:41,917 --> 01:13:44,045
All right, we got this, boys.
1208
01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:05,273
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!
1209
01:14:05,274 --> 01:14:07,652
Where's the money?!
1210
01:14:18,287 --> 01:14:21,206
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.
1211
01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:22,666
But that's all over.
1212
01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:24,459
No more fucking games!
1213
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:25,960
Where's the money?
1214
01:14:25,961 --> 01:14:29,006
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.
1215
01:14:33,135 --> 01:14:35,887
- It's in the vault.
- I just looked in the vault.
1216
01:14:35,888 --> 01:14:37,305
Had the money been in there,
1217
01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:39,140
I'd have a different
expression on my face.
1218
01:14:39,141 --> 01:14:40,517
Impossible.
1219
01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,602
Takes days to get
into that thing.
1220
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:46,107
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.
1221
01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,527
Thorp.
1222
01:14:50,903 --> 01:14:53,488
You can't trust anyone
these days.
1223
01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:55,657
I'm not sure how, but you
1224
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:58,535
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.
1225
01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:00,412
And this upsets me.
1226
01:15:00,413 --> 01:15:02,247
It upsets me
1227
01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:06,252
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.
1228
01:15:07,253 --> 01:15:09,462
Hold on. Just... Sorry.
1229
01:15:09,463 --> 01:15:10,880
- Um...
- What? What?
1230
01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:12,257
Uh, what if you randomly shoot
1231
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:14,844
the only person
who knows where it is?
1232
01:15:15,845 --> 01:15:18,179
Oh, fuck you people!
1233
01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:27,857
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪
1234
01:15:28,733 --> 01:15:33,779
♪ For the day to appear ♪
1235
01:15:35,656 --> 01:15:41,453
♪ When we could be together ♪
1236
01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:43,956
♪ In harmony ♪
1237
01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,543
♪ You know the time will come ♪
1238
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:52,839
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪
1239
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:54,425
Suck on this.
1240
01:15:58,846 --> 01:16:03,725
♪ And we can live forever ♪
1241
01:16:03,726 --> 01:16:06,978
♪ In a world where we are free ♪
1242
01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:10,064
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪
1243
01:16:10,065 --> 01:16:13,234
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1244
01:16:13,235 --> 01:16:16,404
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1245
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:19,407
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪
1246
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:20,910
I need some feedback, guys.
1247
01:16:22,495 --> 01:16:24,455
Guys, what the hell is going on?
1248
01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:28,082
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1249
01:16:28,083 --> 01:16:32,713
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1250
01:16:34,256 --> 01:16:39,093
♪ We're all as one tonight ♪
1251
01:16:39,094 --> 01:16:43,808
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪
1252
01:16:46,727 --> 01:16:49,438
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪
1253
01:16:51,941 --> 01:16:54,151
♪ In harmony ♪
1254
01:16:56,070 --> 01:17:00,865
♪ I know it's not too late ♪
1255
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:03,827
♪ The world would be ♪
1256
01:17:03,828 --> 01:17:07,248
♪ A better place ♪
1257
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:10,875
- What's that?
- Huh?
1258
01:17:10,876 --> 01:17:12,962
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪
1259
01:17:14,964 --> 01:17:17,298
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪
1260
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:21,679
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪
1261
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:25,890
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪
1262
01:17:25,891 --> 01:17:28,434
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪
1263
01:17:28,435 --> 01:17:32,773
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪
1264
01:17:34,817 --> 01:17:38,361
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪
1265
01:17:38,362 --> 01:17:41,239
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪
1266
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:46,287
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪
1267
01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,873
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪
1268
01:17:49,874 --> 01:17:52,001
Jesus Christ.
1269
01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:55,169
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.
1270
01:17:55,170 --> 01:17:57,590
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪
1271
01:17:59,133 --> 01:18:02,886
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪
1272
01:18:02,887 --> 01:18:07,724
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪
1273
01:18:07,725 --> 01:18:10,476
- Oh, God!
- There you go.
1274
01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:12,187
A little stocking stuffer.
1275
01:18:12,980 --> 01:18:16,566
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1276
01:18:16,567 --> 01:18:19,027
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1277
01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:21,739
- I got to watch.
- Fuck!
1278
01:18:22,865 --> 01:18:25,074
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.
1279
01:18:25,075 --> 01:18:27,368
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪
1280
01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:30,079
Gertrude would never
trust anybody
1281
01:18:30,080 --> 01:18:32,540
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.
1282
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,250
So...
1283
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:37,879
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,
1284
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:40,424
which means
that I can shoot her...
1285
01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:43,968
unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.
1286
01:18:43,969 --> 01:18:46,220
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.
1287
01:18:46,221 --> 01:18:48,057
Shut up!
1288
01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:50,350
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out
1289
01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:51,768
unless you tell me
where the money went.
1290
01:18:51,769 --> 01:18:53,978
I did it!
1291
01:18:53,979 --> 01:18:56,397
- What?
- Okay. Yeah, I did it.
1292
01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:58,316
- I moved the money.
- No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.
1293
01:18:58,317 --> 01:19:00,068
- What?
- The money's our only leverage.
1294
01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:01,653
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...
1295
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:03,738
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?
1296
01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:05,407
I didn't. I was stealing it.
1297
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:08,034
- Yeah, coincidence.
- Oh, my God.
1298
01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:09,410
I was planning to take the money
1299
01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:12,580
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight
1300
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:14,582
and never come back here.
1301
01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:17,961
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,
1302
01:19:17,962 --> 01:19:19,963
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning
1303
01:19:19,964 --> 01:19:21,756
and know what I had done.
1304
01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:24,050
For years,
I have been telling you
1305
01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:26,427
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!
1306
01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:29,682
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.
1307
01:19:30,474 --> 01:19:32,684
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid
1308
01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:34,185
when you say it like that.
1309
01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,187
How can you do this right now?
1310
01:19:36,188 --> 01:19:38,272
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?
1311
01:19:38,273 --> 01:19:40,483
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,
1312
01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:41,776
she made damn sure we knew
1313
01:19:41,777 --> 01:19:43,027
she had the power
to take right back.
1314
01:19:43,028 --> 01:19:46,906
I have spent years
groveling to you.
1315
01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:49,701
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying
1316
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,744
the only good thing in my life.
1317
01:19:51,745 --> 01:19:53,121
What are we doing here, huh?
1318
01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:55,748
Family therapy or doing a heist?
1319
01:19:55,749 --> 01:19:59,002
Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -
1320
01:19:59,003 --> 01:20:00,963
All right. Where'd you put it?
1321
01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:09,805
Look at this little idiot.
1322
01:20:13,517 --> 01:20:14,892
Oh, no.
1323
01:20:14,893 --> 01:20:16,728
What?
1324
01:20:16,729 --> 01:20:18,646
- The bad guys found me.
- Okay.
1325
01:20:18,647 --> 01:20:20,482
I'm coming.
1326
01:20:27,072 --> 01:20:30,993
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.
1327
01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:35,164
You little moron.
1328
01:20:38,208 --> 01:20:40,544
Jesus! Shit!
1329
01:20:44,423 --> 01:20:46,592
Help me! Help me! Help!
1330
01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,136
You'll be f...
You'll be fine.
1331
01:20:50,137 --> 01:20:52,306
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.
1332
01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:57,519
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!
1333
01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:02,691
You little fucking brat.
1334
01:21:51,115 --> 01:21:52,907
You're dead!
1335
01:21:52,908 --> 01:21:55,410
You're so fucking dead!
1336
01:22:02,584 --> 01:22:05,045
Fucking piece of shit.
1337
01:22:10,092 --> 01:22:12,928
You little...
1338
01:22:30,195 --> 01:22:32,239
Incoming!
1339
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:52,801
Son of a fucking...
1340
01:23:02,853 --> 01:23:04,812
Fuck.
1341
01:23:04,813 --> 01:23:06,606
I got you now, kid.
1342
01:23:06,607 --> 01:23:08,275
Yeah? Heads up.
1343
01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:12,029
That's all you got?
You fucking...
1344
01:23:14,865 --> 01:23:17,409
Enough of this shit.
1345
01:23:42,976 --> 01:23:44,186
Santa!
1346
01:23:54,112 --> 01:23:56,364
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
1347
01:23:56,365 --> 01:23:59,200
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.
1348
01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:01,828
Ho, ho, ho.
1349
01:24:07,709 --> 01:24:11,630
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.
1350
01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:15,383
Just turn around
and close your eyes.
1351
01:24:15,384 --> 01:24:18,219
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,
1352
01:24:18,220 --> 01:24:21,264
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.
1353
01:24:21,265 --> 01:24:23,266
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
1354
01:24:23,267 --> 01:24:25,559
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
1355
01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:27,812
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪
1356
01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:30,773
You were about to murder
an innocent child.
1357
01:24:30,774 --> 01:24:32,108
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪
1358
01:24:32,109 --> 01:24:33,734
Innocent?
1359
01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,736
It's naughty.
1360
01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:37,197
Naughty.
1361
01:24:37,948 --> 01:24:39,407
Naughty!
1362
01:24:39,408 --> 01:24:41,117
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.
1363
01:24:41,118 --> 01:24:42,743
We're horrible people.
1364
01:24:42,744 --> 01:24:44,620
So I get why you did
what you did.
1365
01:24:44,621 --> 01:24:46,706
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company
1366
01:24:46,707 --> 01:24:49,125
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,
1367
01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:51,127
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.
1368
01:24:51,128 --> 01:24:52,586
But the point is,
1369
01:24:52,587 --> 01:24:54,338
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.
1370
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:56,007
I'm proud of you, son.
1371
01:24:56,008 --> 01:24:57,467
All right, where the hell is it?
1372
01:24:59,803 --> 01:25:01,722
The money's hidden inside.
1373
01:25:02,889 --> 01:25:06,017
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts
1374
01:25:06,018 --> 01:25:08,854
of frankincense, myrrh...
1375
01:25:10,981 --> 01:25:14,066
and cold hard cash.
1376
01:25:14,067 --> 01:25:15,526
Load it up, boys.
1377
01:25:15,527 --> 01:25:17,778
All right,
we're securing the money.
1378
01:25:17,779 --> 01:25:19,864
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.
1379
01:25:19,865 --> 01:25:21,657
What?
1380
01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:23,659
No.
1381
01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:26,912
Mom.
1382
01:25:26,913 --> 01:25:28,289
It's fine, Bert.
1383
01:25:28,290 --> 01:25:29,790
Everything's fine.
1384
01:25:29,791 --> 01:25:31,876
Okay.
1385
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:33,794
Everybody, get up.
1386
01:25:33,795 --> 01:25:38,299
It's time for a murder.
1387
01:25:38,300 --> 01:25:40,885
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.
1388
01:25:40,886 --> 01:25:42,219
You really don't.
1389
01:25:42,220 --> 01:25:44,388
Oh, yes, I do.
1390
01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:47,475
I really, really, really do.
1391
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,185
And I'm gonna start with you.
1392
01:25:49,186 --> 01:25:50,519
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1393
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:52,120
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1394
01:25:53,523 --> 01:25:55,232
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.
1395
01:25:55,233 --> 01:25:56,984
What the hell, Bert?
1396
01:25:56,985 --> 01:25:59,070
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit
1397
01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:00,613
before you die, Bertrude?
1398
01:26:00,614 --> 01:26:02,239
- I say shoot him first.
- What?
1399
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:04,325
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.
1400
01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:06,369
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him
1401
01:26:06,370 --> 01:26:08,079
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.
1402
01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:09,789
Okay. I changed my mind.
1403
01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:11,749
Shoot the alcoholic bitch first.
Don't call my mom
1404
01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:13,834
- an alcoholic bitch.
- Your mom's an alcoholic.
1405
01:26:13,835 --> 01:26:15,669
- I'm sorry.
- You're a gold-digging bitch.
1406
01:26:15,670 --> 01:26:17,838
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?
1407
01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,507
You're not even part
of the fucking family.
1408
01:26:19,508 --> 01:26:22,259
- She's an engineer.
- You know goddamn well...
1409
01:26:22,260 --> 01:26:23,637
Shut up!
1410
01:26:27,349 --> 01:26:31,436
Just like rats in a barrel.
1411
01:26:32,229 --> 01:26:34,398
Why don't you die
with some dignity?
1412
01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:41,362
Get off of me!
1413
01:26:41,363 --> 01:26:43,114
Okay, okay.
1414
01:26:43,115 --> 01:26:44,365
Fuck you!
1415
01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:46,951
This is for yelling at my child!
1416
01:26:46,952 --> 01:26:48,369
Creep!
1417
01:26:48,370 --> 01:26:49,912
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!
1418
01:26:49,913 --> 01:26:51,998
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!
1419
01:27:01,633 --> 01:27:03,300
Is he...
1420
01:27:03,301 --> 01:27:04,845
Is he dead?
1421
01:27:08,723 --> 01:27:10,600
Yeah.
1422
01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:13,018
Thanks, Linda.
1423
01:27:13,019 --> 01:27:16,231
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.
1424
01:27:17,399 --> 01:27:19,108
Oh, shit!
1425
01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:20,986
I'm gonna...
1426
01:27:25,073 --> 01:27:26,615
That was for Morgan.
1427
01:27:26,616 --> 01:27:31,621
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.
1428
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:35,374
Oh. Trudy!
1429
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:37,793
Mommy!
1430
01:27:37,794 --> 01:27:39,420
Thank God, baby.
1431
01:27:39,421 --> 01:27:41,338
Are you okay?
1432
01:27:41,339 --> 01:27:43,090
I'm okay, Mommy.
1433
01:27:43,091 --> 01:27:44,258
Okay.
1434
01:27:44,259 --> 01:27:46,761
This is my friend, Santa.
1435
01:27:51,183 --> 01:27:53,267
What the fuck?
1436
01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:55,102
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...
1437
01:27:55,103 --> 01:27:57,438
Claus. But please call me Santa.
1438
01:27:57,439 --> 01:27:58,814
Mm-hmm.
1439
01:27:58,815 --> 01:28:00,941
You guys should get out of here.
1440
01:28:00,942 --> 01:28:02,401
It's dangerous.
1441
01:28:02,402 --> 01:28:04,738
They took my husband
and her grandmother.
1442
01:28:06,573 --> 01:28:08,199
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?
1443
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:09,533
I think so.
1444
01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:11,285
I used to hunt with my dad.
1445
01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:12,453
Ow.
1446
01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,121
Copy that. How's that looking?
1447
01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:16,958
- Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
- Heads on a swivel, boys.
1448
01:28:18,293 --> 01:28:19,920
- Incoming!
- Heads up!
1449
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:22,630
Oh, oh! Who's shooting?
1450
01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:24,298
Who's...
1451
01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:27,469
- Cap, get down!
- Watch it! Watch it!
1452
01:28:32,557 --> 01:28:34,935
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
1453
01:28:50,784 --> 01:28:53,619
All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.
1454
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,122
- Go where?
- Come on, move, you old bat.
1455
01:28:56,873 --> 01:28:58,833
Get your fucking
hands off of me.
1456
01:29:08,969 --> 01:29:11,303
Oh! Oh, shit.
1457
01:29:11,304 --> 01:29:14,683
My balls! My fucking balls!
1458
01:29:31,324 --> 01:29:34,160
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...
1459
01:29:37,998 --> 01:29:40,374
Oh, Jesus.
1460
01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:42,043
Sorry.
1461
01:29:43,878 --> 01:29:46,547
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.
1462
01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:48,799
Who is that guy?
1463
01:29:48,800 --> 01:29:51,428
He said he was Mr. Claus.
1464
01:29:53,221 --> 01:29:55,264
- Fuck. Trudy.
- No, no.
1465
01:29:55,265 --> 01:29:56,890
She's in the house. She's okay.
1466
01:29:56,891 --> 01:29:58,267
She's safe.
1467
01:29:58,268 --> 01:30:00,395
- Oh, thank God.
- Yeah.
1468
01:30:21,124 --> 01:30:22,583
No, no.
1469
01:30:22,584 --> 01:30:25,253
- Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
1470
01:31:11,091 --> 01:31:13,510
Oh, shit!
1471
01:31:15,762 --> 01:31:18,556
Ho, ho!
1472
01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:21,476
Fuck!
1473
01:32:05,061 --> 01:32:07,731
Fucking die.
1474
01:33:00,909 --> 01:33:02,785
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1475
01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:06,079
Yeah, over here. Over here.
1476
01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,332
Santa!
1477
01:33:08,291 --> 01:33:10,125
Come on!
1478
01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:11,586
Yeah.
1479
01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:56,631
Fuck.
1480
01:34:20,321 --> 01:34:22,365
You're real?
1481
01:34:23,741 --> 01:34:26,160
You're... him.
1482
01:34:29,163 --> 01:34:30,414
You're you.
1483
01:34:30,415 --> 01:34:33,125
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
1484
01:34:33,126 --> 01:34:36,503
The real goddamn Santa Claus.
1485
01:34:36,504 --> 01:34:38,964
This is not your night, pal.
1486
01:34:38,965 --> 01:34:42,092
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.
1487
01:34:42,093 --> 01:34:45,512
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.
1488
01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:46,889
Because when I kill you,
1489
01:34:46,890 --> 01:34:50,184
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.
1490
01:34:51,936 --> 01:34:53,855
Whatever it takes...
1491
01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:57,692
Christmas dies tonight.
1492
01:35:49,911 --> 01:35:51,579
Whoa!
1493
01:37:16,831 --> 01:37:19,417
The last Christmas.
1494
01:37:29,260 --> 01:37:31,888
Not if you still believe.
1495
01:37:33,681 --> 01:37:35,683
No!
1496
01:38:03,711 --> 01:38:07,381
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.
1497
01:38:09,759 --> 01:38:11,886
But this ends now.
1498
01:38:16,808 --> 01:38:18,601
Damn right it does.
1499
01:38:27,777 --> 01:38:29,946
Trudy, be careful.
1500
01:38:33,658 --> 01:38:35,575
Santa!
1501
01:38:35,576 --> 01:38:38,079
Oh, no. Santa.
1502
01:38:39,539 --> 01:38:41,082
Oh, no.
1503
01:38:47,880 --> 01:38:50,049
You saved my daughter.
1504
01:38:50,842 --> 01:38:52,385
No.
1505
01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:54,761
She saved me.
1506
01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:57,514
Help him. Please help him.
1507
01:38:57,515 --> 01:39:00,016
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
1508
01:39:00,017 --> 01:39:01,268
It's okay. It's okay.
1509
01:39:01,269 --> 01:39:03,603
It's too late for that.
1510
01:39:03,604 --> 01:39:05,940
Too late.
1511
01:39:06,732 --> 01:39:09,401
I'm cold.
1512
01:39:09,402 --> 01:39:11,653
I haven't felt cold in years.
1513
01:39:11,654 --> 01:39:13,698
We need to keep him warm.
1514
01:39:14,532 --> 01:39:16,950
All of the fires are going out.
1515
01:39:16,951 --> 01:39:19,245
We need to find
something to burn.
1516
01:39:20,580 --> 01:39:22,123
I got an idea.
1517
01:39:25,042 --> 01:39:27,003
Whoa.
1518
01:39:28,546 --> 01:39:29,963
No.
1519
01:39:29,964 --> 01:39:32,132
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
1520
01:39:32,133 --> 01:39:33,258
Please, Santa.
1521
01:39:33,259 --> 01:39:36,262
I don't want you to die.
1522
01:39:39,348 --> 01:39:41,057
Jason, let's slow this down.
1523
01:39:41,058 --> 01:39:42,559
What are you doing?
1524
01:39:42,560 --> 01:39:45,854
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.
1525
01:39:45,855 --> 01:39:48,565
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?
1526
01:39:48,566 --> 01:39:50,650
- You don't need to burn money.
- Okay. More. Yeah.
1527
01:39:50,651 --> 01:39:54,112
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.
1528
01:39:54,113 --> 01:39:56,657
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.
1529
01:39:57,658 --> 01:39:59,285
Sorry.
1530
01:40:01,329 --> 01:40:05,082
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.
1531
01:40:06,667 --> 01:40:08,960
Take that. Take that.
1532
01:40:08,961 --> 01:40:10,504
But you did.
1533
01:40:13,257 --> 01:40:15,592
Santa, please don't die.
1534
01:40:15,593 --> 01:40:18,136
Wake up. Wake up.
1535
01:40:18,137 --> 01:40:20,805
We need to get him
close to the fire.
1536
01:40:20,806 --> 01:40:22,683
Jason.
1537
01:40:23,434 --> 01:40:25,394
Just wake up.
1538
01:40:26,437 --> 01:40:27,812
Please.
1539
01:40:27,813 --> 01:40:29,690
No.
1540
01:40:34,028 --> 01:40:37,281
Oh, I am so, so sorry.
1541
01:40:42,203 --> 01:40:44,914
This man...
1542
01:40:45,748 --> 01:40:49,584
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...
1543
01:40:49,585 --> 01:40:50,877
He's Santa.
1544
01:40:50,878 --> 01:40:53,129
The real Santa. He is.
1545
01:40:53,130 --> 01:40:56,217
And I still believe in him.
1546
01:40:57,051 --> 01:40:59,720
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.
1547
01:41:04,350 --> 01:41:06,310
I believe in him, too.
1548
01:41:09,313 --> 01:41:12,148
He saved Trudy.
1549
01:41:12,149 --> 01:41:14,402
He saved our family.
1550
01:41:16,362 --> 01:41:18,698
What's realer than that?
1551
01:41:22,660 --> 01:41:24,453
Then maybe...
1552
01:41:26,956 --> 01:41:29,083
I believe in him, too.
1553
01:41:29,917 --> 01:41:31,460
So do I.
1554
01:41:32,503 --> 01:41:35,839
Oh, shit.
1555
01:41:35,840 --> 01:41:37,966
I guess...
1556
01:41:37,967 --> 01:41:40,051
I guess I do, too.
1557
01:41:40,052 --> 01:41:41,886
Fuck me.
1558
01:41:41,887 --> 01:41:43,681
I believe, too.
1559
01:41:54,108 --> 01:41:55,650
Oh, my God.
1560
01:41:55,651 --> 01:41:56,819
Santa!
1561
01:42:01,824 --> 01:42:03,367
You...
1562
01:42:05,119 --> 01:42:07,163
You were dead.
1563
01:42:07,955 --> 01:42:10,540
Christmas magic.
1564
01:42:10,541 --> 01:42:13,168
I still don't really
understand...
1565
01:42:13,169 --> 01:42:15,129
how it works.
1566
01:42:20,760 --> 01:42:22,677
Thank you.
1567
01:42:22,678 --> 01:42:24,721
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.
1568
01:42:24,722 --> 01:42:26,890
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,
1569
01:42:26,891 --> 01:42:28,476
so we'll call it even.
1570
01:42:29,643 --> 01:42:30,852
Even?
1571
01:42:30,853 --> 01:42:33,522
We just burned
half a million dollars.
1572
01:42:34,357 --> 01:42:35,982
- Look, Santa!
- Hmm?
1573
01:42:35,983 --> 01:42:37,359
Look who came.
1574
01:42:44,533 --> 01:42:48,078
Now you show up, huh?
1575
01:42:48,079 --> 01:42:49,537
You leave me here to die,
1576
01:42:49,538 --> 01:42:51,790
come back after
all the work's done, huh?
1577
01:42:51,791 --> 01:42:54,542
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew
1578
01:42:54,543 --> 01:42:56,796
and feed you to the elves!
1579
01:42:58,756 --> 01:43:03,510
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
1580
01:43:03,511 --> 01:43:05,638
You, too, Prancer.
1581
01:43:11,018 --> 01:43:13,061
You got my sack.
1582
01:43:13,062 --> 01:43:17,358
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?
1583
01:43:19,235 --> 01:43:21,986
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.
1584
01:43:21,987 --> 01:43:23,571
I...
1585
01:43:23,572 --> 01:43:27,951
Aw. I can't. I can't.
1586
01:43:27,952 --> 01:43:30,704
Aw.
1587
01:43:31,747 --> 01:43:33,874
Aw.
1588
01:43:44,760 --> 01:43:46,302
Hello, beautiful.
1589
01:43:46,303 --> 01:43:48,222
Skullcrusher!
1590
01:44:01,235 --> 01:44:02,902
Guess this is goodbye.
1591
01:44:02,903 --> 01:44:04,363
I got to go.
1592
01:44:05,239 --> 01:44:07,366
Do you have to?
1593
01:44:10,661 --> 01:44:12,829
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...
1594
01:44:12,830 --> 01:44:14,539
boys and girls on the nice list
1595
01:44:14,540 --> 01:44:16,959
that want their presents,
you know?
1596
01:44:19,086 --> 01:44:20,754
Thank you.
1597
01:44:21,755 --> 01:44:23,339
For what?
1598
01:44:23,340 --> 01:44:25,008
For believing in me.
1599
01:44:25,009 --> 01:44:28,345
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.
1600
01:44:29,930 --> 01:44:32,390
And that I still...
1601
01:44:32,391 --> 01:44:34,768
matter.
1602
01:44:36,312 --> 01:44:38,481
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.
1603
01:44:48,365 --> 01:44:50,701
All right. Get out of here.
1604
01:44:54,413 --> 01:44:57,333
Merry Christmas!
1605
01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:01,127
Hyah!
1606
01:45:01,128 --> 01:45:04,506
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
1607
01:45:04,507 --> 01:45:06,633
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
1608
01:45:06,634 --> 01:45:10,136
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
1609
01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:13,139
On, Donner and Blitzen!
1610
01:45:13,140 --> 01:45:16,726
Come on, you beautiful bastards!
1611
01:45:16,727 --> 01:45:20,104
We've got some work to do!
1612
01:45:20,105 --> 01:45:23,149
Hyah!
1613
01:45:23,150 --> 01:45:25,860
Ho, ho, ho!
1614
01:45:25,861 --> 01:45:29,072
Merry Christmas!
1615
01:45:40,000 --> 01:45:45,965
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪
1616
01:45:47,925 --> 01:45:53,847
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪
1617
01:45:55,599 --> 01:45:59,477
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪
1618
01:45:59,478 --> 01:46:03,022
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪
1619
01:46:03,023 --> 01:46:08,946
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪
1620
01:46:09,738 --> 01:46:12,198
♪ So here it is ♪
1621
01:46:12,199 --> 01:46:14,200
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1622
01:46:14,201 --> 01:46:18,705
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1623
01:46:18,706 --> 01:46:22,166
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1624
01:46:22,167 --> 01:46:29,173
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1625
01:46:29,174 --> 01:46:35,139
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪
1626
01:46:37,099 --> 01:46:39,058
♪ Are you sure you got ♪
1627
01:46:39,059 --> 01:46:42,771
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪
1628
01:46:44,481 --> 01:46:48,026
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪
1629
01:46:48,027 --> 01:46:51,821
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪
1630
01:46:51,822 --> 01:46:55,033
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪
1631
01:46:55,034 --> 01:46:57,368
♪ With the rest ♪
1632
01:46:57,369 --> 01:46:59,537
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?
1633
01:46:59,538 --> 01:47:02,624
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.
1634
01:47:02,625 --> 01:47:04,709
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.
1635
01:47:04,710 --> 01:47:06,502
Santa's real, all right?
1636
01:47:06,503 --> 01:47:08,379
Don't end up
on the naughty list.
1637
01:47:08,380 --> 01:47:09,631
Do better.
1638
01:47:09,632 --> 01:47:11,758
Bert Lightstone out.
1639
01:47:11,759 --> 01:47:13,801
♪ So here it is ♪
1640
01:47:13,802 --> 01:47:15,803
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1641
01:47:15,804 --> 01:47:20,350
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1642
01:47:20,351 --> 01:47:23,645
♪ Look to the future now ♪
1643
01:47:23,646 --> 01:47:29,817
♪ It's only just begun ♪
1644
01:47:29,818 --> 01:47:32,278
♪ So here it is ♪
1645
01:47:32,279 --> 01:47:34,280
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
1646
01:47:34,281 --> 01:47:37,325
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪
1647
01:47:37,326 --> 01:47:41,913
- ♪ It's Christmas! ♪
- ♪ Look to the future now ♪
1648
01:47:41,914 --> 01:47:49,630
♪ It's only just begun. ♪
1649
01:47:52,966 --> 01:47:54,676
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1650
01:47:54,677 --> 01:47:56,678
♪ Let's be good ♪
1651
01:47:56,679 --> 01:48:00,807
- ♪ This coming yuletide ♪
- ♪ Ding dong verily the sky ♪
1652
01:48:00,808 --> 01:48:03,351
♪ Or you'll see ♪
1653
01:48:03,352 --> 01:48:08,439
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪
1654
01:48:08,440 --> 01:48:11,859
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1655
01:48:11,860 --> 01:48:14,987
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1656
01:48:14,988 --> 01:48:17,990
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1657
01:48:17,991 --> 01:48:21,035
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Unhappy! ♪
1658
01:48:21,036 --> 01:48:24,580
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪
1659
01:48:24,581 --> 01:48:27,375
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪
1660
01:48:27,376 --> 01:48:32,881
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1661
01:48:34,007 --> 01:48:36,968
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪
1662
01:48:36,969 --> 01:48:40,138
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪
1663
01:48:40,139 --> 01:48:45,518
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪
1664
01:48:45,519 --> 01:48:51,817
♪ Ah... ♪
1665
01:48:53,444 --> 01:48:55,361
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪
1666
01:48:55,362 --> 01:48:57,488
- ♪ Don't you make Santa crazy ♪
- ♪ Better not be bad ♪
1667
01:48:57,489 --> 01:49:00,158
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪ Baby ♪
1668
01:49:00,159 --> 01:49:02,744
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1669
01:49:02,745 --> 01:49:06,414
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho ♪
1670
01:49:06,415 --> 01:49:09,584
♪ If you don't want ♪
1671
01:49:09,585 --> 01:49:12,670
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪
1672
01:49:12,671 --> 01:49:15,798
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪
1673
01:49:15,799 --> 01:49:18,968
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪
1674
01:49:18,969 --> 01:49:22,138
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪
1675
01:49:22,139 --> 01:49:26,809
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪
1676
01:49:26,810 --> 01:49:29,979
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪
1677
01:49:29,980 --> 01:49:33,232
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪
1678
01:49:33,233 --> 01:49:36,194
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪
1679
01:49:36,195 --> 01:49:39,572
- ♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪
1680
01:49:39,573 --> 01:49:42,366
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1681
01:49:42,367 --> 01:49:44,035
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1682
01:49:44,036 --> 01:49:47,538
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪
1683
01:49:47,539 --> 01:49:48,915
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1684
01:49:48,916 --> 01:49:52,084
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1685
01:49:52,085 --> 01:49:55,087
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la,
ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1686
01:49:55,088 --> 01:49:58,341
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1687
01:49:58,342 --> 01:50:01,427
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la,
ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1688
01:50:01,428 --> 01:50:03,221
♪ Ooh-fa-la-la ♪
1689
01:50:03,222 --> 01:50:06,432
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪
1690
01:50:06,433 --> 01:50:09,101
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1691
01:50:09,102 --> 01:50:10,812
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪
1692
01:50:10,813 --> 01:50:12,396
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
1693
01:50:12,397 --> 01:50:15,191
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪
1694
01:50:15,192 --> 01:50:18,110
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪
1695
01:50:18,111 --> 01:50:21,239
♪ Jingle bells. ♪
1696
01:50:43,971 --> 01:50:46,764
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪
1697
01:50:46,765 --> 01:50:50,101
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪
1698
01:51:09,580 --> 01:51:17,580
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪
1699
01:51:17,671 --> 01:51:19,839
♪ Hosanna ♪
1700
01:51:19,840 --> 01:51:27,806
♪ In excelsis. ♪
116740
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