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1
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You could learn how to do that.
2
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Shoving a butt plug... butt plugin the asshole... asshole of your mind.
3
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- I'm enlightened now.
4
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- I'm enlightened now.- In the asshole of your mind.
5
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I need light.
6
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- Or plants.
- I'm enlightened now.
7
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What, my chonchichi?
8
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Bed? No.
9
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Clancy, I found a planet that you'll like.
10
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We'll see about that.
11
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Norval 8.
12
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This planet has rivers of wineand mescaline fruit.
13
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That parrot would make a great interview.
14
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Oh, I'm sorry.
Maybe you didn't hear the song, but...
15
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I'm enlightened now! Ah!
I got enlightened! Uh!
16
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,597
What about Lensor-Didor?
17
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The planet of waterslide parksand trampolines...
18
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:04,938
I'm enlightened now!
19
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,783
-Okay, what about Planet Blank Ball?-Perfect.
20
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I made you some boring avatars,Enlightened One.
21
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Thank you.
22
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- -Do you like them?
23
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Yeah...
24
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I made one that looks just like you,except it's made out of cream.
25
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-Is that cool?
-Mmm.
26
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Yeah.
27
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Send me down to Planet Blank Ball, boy!
28
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As you wish.
29
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Merging with simulator in...Are you chewing gum?
30
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- -Thank you, Master.
31
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-Love you, bud.
-Two...
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one...
33
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It really is just a big, blank ball.
34
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Oh, God, fuck this.
Let's spice this ball up!
35
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Hey, man.
36
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Oh!
37
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Hey, man, you got a hose for this thing?
38
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I'm all chafed.
39
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You don't talk?
40
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Okay, that's cool.
41
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There's got to be one in here.
42
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I've just got to remember where I put it.
43
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Yeah!
44
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Whoa!
45
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Wow.
46
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Damn.
47
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That's a lot of stuff.
48
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What's up, baby?
49
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:02,970
Who's there?
50
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,106
Must ask questions.
51
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So much mystery.
52
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Perfect for spacecast.
53
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I am Death.
54
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It's nice to meet you. My name's Clancy.
55
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Sorry, I had something in my throat.
56
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:31,169
Hey, would you like to be interviewed
for my spacecast? It's a space blast.
57
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It goes into space.
58
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I... guess.
59
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:36,585
But before we start,
you need to describe my form
60
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so I can manifest.
61
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- Huh?
- Describe me.
62
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What does Death look like to you?
63
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,102
Uh, all right, 14 feet tall
with nice hair,
64
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one fun eyeball, a crab claw
with a fancy jeweled glove, a bat wing,
65
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,523
one clown leg
and all that in a child's red wagon.
66
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,820
- Is the wagon a part of me?
- Yeah.
67
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And your butt is a rhino back half
with a food force field,
68
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,447
and the rhino's legs
are always standing in poop.
69
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,789
I think we need to simplify this.
70
00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:07,911
Oh, okay.
71
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:11,247
Lose the middle and that gross boy
with the handles for hands.
72
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,504
I didn't ask for that.
73
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,051
Try putting that crab claw back,
but smaller.
74
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Now you can push along on the ground.
75
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This isn't very practical.
76
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,885
Okay. Well, how about you add a jet pack?
77
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:28,694
I'm not like "creepy Death" anymore.
I'm just like...
78
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,648
All right, how do you feel
about just being a normal Grim Reaper,
79
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but keep that fun-looking eyeball?
80
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You look cool.
81
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,687
Mind if we can start the interview?
82
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Oh, yeah.
83
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I'm gonna start recording.
84
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,367
- Hey, that's my hose!
- Huh.
85
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Ha ha!
86
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,325
Fuck! That little tart baker took my hose.
87
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You mind if we walk and talk
so I can get the hose back
88
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,036
-for my waterslide?
-Sure.
89
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,165
- So you're Death.
- Mm-hmm.
90
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,125
Losing people to you is so painful.
91
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:00,045
It is.
92
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,013
Do you have any advice
93
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,852
for people who are dealing with death
in their own lives?
94
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:10,138
Yeah. So the best thing you could possibly
do for yourself in your entire life,
95
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,856
I think, is be super present
for those moments.
96
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:15,188
-Yes!
-Like, 100% in,
97
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,823
like, sitting with the dead body
98
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or 100%, like, sitting with the placenta
99
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,489
and the newborn, mewling,
covered-in-mucus baby.
100
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,742
Yes.
101
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,583
These are the moments of primal reality
102
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-that we don't get in our daily lives.
-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
103
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And they're actively kept from us.
104
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:36,666
By an elaborate system.
105
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What is that system?
106
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:42,508
This seems truly like the conspiracy
nobody talks about.
107
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:45,215
Yeah,
it's one of my favorite conspiracies,
108
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,183
is, like, the death industrial complex.
109
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,683
What is this?
Can we talk about this?
110
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Well, I can tell you for death
and I can tell you my theories.
111
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,358
Which, I don't even know if they're
theories. I think they're facts.
112
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,069
-I'll put them out there as facts.
-Cool.
113
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:02,949
So, what happened, it really happened
around the turn of the 20th century.
114
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:03,859
So you had...
115
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,866
And keep in mind...
116
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,118
...this is primar...
117
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The extent to which it happens
is an American convention.
118
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Oh.
119
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- It's a United States convention.
- Yeah.
120
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,878
It happens to some degree
in many other places in the world,
121
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but the US is really the king.
122
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:23,127
It's the mafia don
of this kind of cover-up of death.
123
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,046
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I don't mean to interrupt you.
124
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,474
Can you tell me
what these tart-baking mirrors are?
125
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Sure.
126
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,474
This is a trial of judgment.
127
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All these mirrors reflect
parts of yourself that you're ashamed of,
128
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:38,106
stuff you try to hide from yourself.
You have to forgive them.
129
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-Forgive them?
-Sure. This is a good icebreaker.
130
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,190
Hmm.
131
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Huh?
132
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,029
So during the American Civil War,
you see the rise of embalming,
133
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which is chemically treating a dead body,
134
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:54,751
which keeps it fresh a little longer,
staves off decomposition a little longer.
135
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:58,501
Was this... Was this because people
were dying far away from home
136
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-and they wanted...
-Exactly. Exactly.
137
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:04,256
So the history is that you had all these
Northern soldiers going down to the South,
138
00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:05,760
dying on the battlefield.
139
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:09,262
It was really important
in the Protestant ethos of the time
140
00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:11,005
- that you see the dead body.
- Hmm.
141
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:15,307
So the train conductors
were getting all these decomposing corpses
142
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on their train and they would go,
143
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"Nope, kick 'em out.
We're not doing this anymore.
144
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,442
You can't pile up
your decomposing corpses in my train."
145
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Holy shit, a sax man.
146
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That's Judgment.
147
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,913
Wow, I was just thinking,
"I wish there was a sax man around."
148
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:34,581
So you had these enterprising young men,
who were embalmers,
149
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:38,542
who would follow the battles,
battlefield to battlefield,
150
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:39,964
like ambulance chasers.
151
00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,342
-Whoa.
-Going to the battles
152
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and setting up their tents.
153
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They would prop up abandoned bodies
154
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that they had embalmed
from the battlefield
155
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to show their work,
as little advertisements,
156
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like window advertisements
for their skills.
157
00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,429
- Wow.
- And you would pay them
158
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to basically, at that time,
disembowel the body,
159
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:02,516
put some arsenic in the body
to preserve the body.
160
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,607
Arsenic's a preservative?
161
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,031
-Yeah, it's a preservative.
-Huh.
162
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,239
They don't use it anymore,
'cause it's terrible, but...
163
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,030
Now they use formaldehyde.
But at the time, they used arsenic.
164
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,204
Huh.
165
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,461
- Hey, that's my hose. I need it.
- Ha ha!
166
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Grow up.
167
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,248
So what I was saying,
it was a dangerous job
168
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and they would send the body back up north
169
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,720
and it would preserve it
for that period of travel,
170
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:30,298
which was an interesting innovation.
171
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:31,934
So, wait, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
172
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,931
This is a lot of information...
173
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...and it's really...
174
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That's the bit... that's the intro.
We haven't even got to the explanation.
175
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,939
Give me that!
176
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,439
You're gonna die
after stepping on a ping-pong ball.
177
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,068
Okay, okay, so, you would get your...
178
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:52,113
-Your uncle would come in a train...
-Yes.
179
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,488
...stuffed with arsenic?
180
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:57,754
Not... Stuffed with sawdust, actually.
At the time, the embalming was...
181
00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:58,828
They would disembowel you,
182
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,543
meaning they removed your internal organs,
183
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,173
'cause that's really
where decomposition happens
184
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,751
is in the gooey
middle part of your body.
185
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,586
So they would disembowel all your organs,
186
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,012
they would stuff you with sawdust
or something to keep you...
187
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,391
...you know, your stomach extended,
188
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:17,769
and then they would fill your body,
your circulatory system,
189
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,638
with some kind of preservative.
190
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,058
Whoa!
191
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:35,526
They're doing this and it's actually sort
of a sensible innovation for the time.
192
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:37,696
People want their dead sons back
193
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,705
and they get their dead sons back
because of this process.
194
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,038
- Yes.
- But what happens
195
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,753
is that these same men are going,
"Wait a second. The war's over now,
196
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,085
but this is my business.
This is what I do now.
197
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:51,800
So we have to convince the rest of the
country that embalming is the way to go."
198
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,262
Whoa.
199
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:56,512
And so these men set out,
they go across the country,
200
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,806
they're selling their wares.
201
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,848
They're kind of like Amway salesmen
at first.
202
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,482
They're going town to town,
holding three-day embalming courses,
203
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,731
saying, "Come on down,
learn how to embalm."
204
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,820
- That makes sense, yeah?
- I like this guy.
205
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,989
The real trick of it,
the real thing that really worked,
206
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:17,583
is at the turn of the 20th century,
207
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:22,748
they really started to push the idea,
based on, now, very bad science...
208
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:25,540
And, honestly,
it was already bad science at the time.
209
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,288
It's that the dead body is dangerous...
210
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:30,127
-Yes. That's what I thought.
-...in some way.
211
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:36,142
Unless the person who died
had Ebola or avian bird flu
212
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:40,718
or some... one of these incredibly rare,
wildly infectious diseases...
213
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,176
-Plague.
-...in which case,
214
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,766
the CDC would come collect them
immediately and take them for cremation.
215
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,773
They wouldn't be going
to a normal funeral home...
216
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,975
-Save some money that way.
-Yeah, you know, "Did your dad have Ebola?
217
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:54,397
That sucks, but, good news,
the government's gonna take care of it."
218
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,661
So unless that's the case,
219
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,239
your body almost instantly
becomes far more safe...
220
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,195
Ow, ow, ow!
221
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,454
There you go.
222
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,161
...the second that it dies,
223
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,495
because not only are the viruses and
the bacteria dying off pretty quickly...
224
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,673
-Those don't live in your body that long.
-Huh.
225
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:14,842
Also, the things that are infectious about
a sick person or a dying person are what?
226
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,474
- Coughing, sneezing, pooping, bleeding.
- Whoa.
227
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:20,221
-All these things that get you...
-Right!
228
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,854
...they'd stop doing that
when they were dead.
229
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,885
So that's a positive.
230
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:27,515
You know,
as far as keeping your safety intact.
231
00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,613
- Mmm. Wow.
- But if you're able to, say...
232
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,152
keep your dad under hospice
and wash him and dress him
233
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,605
and do all these things...
234
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,608
he's... You know
that he's completely safe.
235
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,948
-Right.
-And nothing changes when he dies.
236
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,964
-It's the same thing.
-It's the same thing, if not safer.
237
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,458
So it's like... Oh, my God.
That is so creepy.
238
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,252
And keep in mind,
humans were doing this,
239
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,665
taking care of their own dead in this way,
240
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:56,384
for tens of thousands of years
of human history.
241
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,625
This is just the norm.
242
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,347
It's only been in the last, honestly,
100, 120 years
243
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,639
that what happened is, these embalmers...
244
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,274
...these same men we were talking about,
245
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,690
were really able to push the idea...
246
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,559
...that what they were doing
by embalming the body
247
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,067
-is making it safe for the family.
-Holy shit.
248
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:19,450
Disinfecting it. Making it acceptable
and safe for the family to see.
249
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,280
- Right.
- So whereas before,
250
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,155
it was mostly women...
251
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,913
who were in the home,
just washing the body
252
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,035
and waking the body and laying it out,
253
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:32,132
now, all of a sudden, you have men
coming in who aren't part of the family,
254
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:36,589
who are different professionals,
saying, "It's not safe for you to do it.
255
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,672
We're gonna need to come get the body,
256
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,888
prepare it
through this process of embalming
257
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:41,888
and charge you for it."
258
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:44,719
Holy shit. Did you say "waking the body"?
259
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:46,555
"Waking" meaning, like, viewing the body,
260
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,680
-laying it out...
-Oh, okay.
261
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:51,097
...for the family to come around
and hang out with it, basically.
262
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:55,227
So, all of a sudden, it now starts to,
in the early 20th century,
263
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,276
move towards this...
264
00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,488
this financial model.
265
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,661
Oh, nuts.
266
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,084
Where was I?
267
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,002
Oh, right.
268
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:12,169
This capitalist model of death...
269
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:17,379
...where you have to turn your body
over to a funeral home to take it...
270
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,967
drain the blood, put in the chemicals...
271
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,259
Wow.
272
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:25,552
...put on the makeup, put him in a suit
and essentially sell your dad back to you.
273
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,178
Wow.
274
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,484
They can't necessarily let people know...
275
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:37,271
And what I do primarily is I advocate
for something called home funerals...
276
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,278
...which is not that complicated.
277
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,780
It's just you taking more initiative
with the death.
278
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:47,121
Hey, you going somewhere?
Can I come along with you?
279
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,291
Hell, yeah.
280
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,199
Yeah, sure.
281
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,584
I love this type of shit.
282
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:55,036
Yeah. So say your dad
dies at home on hospice.
283
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,835
You don't have to call anyone right now.
It's not an emergency.
284
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,340
He's not decomposing immediately.
285
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,472
He's not getting dangerous.
286
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,129
- Wait a sec.
- I need the hose.
287
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,467
He's dead now.
He's gonna be dead two hours from now.
288
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,143
- For my slide.
- Everything's okay. It's not an emergency.
289
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:11,232
And just, to the degree
that you feel comfortable,
290
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,768
sitting with that primal reality,
as we said,
291
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,023
sitting in that moment.
292
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,484
-Wow.
-Feeling the feelings that come out
293
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:21,315
and only calling the funeral home
when you feel ready.
294
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,109
Well, it's kinda too late for me.
295
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,905
Both my parents are friends of yours,
I guess you could say.
296
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,655
Come on!
297
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,616
Get back here, you little hose thief!
298
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,254
You know both time... Both parents... Wow.
299
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,205
Both parents passing, it was just...
300
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:42,171
very...
301
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,466
It was not like this.
302
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,549
Mm-hmm.
303
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:45,763
That no one sat...
304
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,263
Interestingly, no one sat with us
and was like, "Listen..."
305
00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,715
Enter!
306
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,515
"...the body's not diseased."
307
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:55,059
No. No one would sit with...
No one would tell you this. No one.
308
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,937
"The body,
you could just hang out with...
309
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:04,776
You probably should hang out
with her or him for a while.
310
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,952
Just sit with him. It's okay."
311
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:07,911
No one said that.
312
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:14,120
And, also, it's not like
there is some great desire in people
313
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,754
to hang out with a dead body.
314
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,331
Well, you know, that's complicated.
315
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,301
And that's something that I'm always
thinking about and negotiating.
316
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,209
Because the people who do it,
317
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:28,468
the people who have some inkling that
they might want to do it but aren't sure
318
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,512
and then they're given the permission,
319
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:34,886
they end up having
this magical, transformative experience.
320
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,635
I say it's like chocolate and puppies.
321
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,227
Like, that's the kind of feedback
that you get.
322
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,613
-Right.
-People love it.
323
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,572
And here's what happens...
324
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,743
to so many people.
325
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:51,532
By the time...
326
00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,331
the dying person
is ready to start talking about it...
327
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,672
...their mind is disintegrating.
328
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,168
- Yes.
- So they can't talk about it.
329
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:04,128
They're not able to articulate
exactly what it is they want.
330
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,173
Mm-hmm.
331
00:16:05,255 --> 00:16:06,755
Right away, your mind goes.
332
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,760
Your mind is out of here, man.
333
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:11,222
You're, like, fluctuating
through the past, present.
334
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,683
You're just going into the past...
335
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:16,313
You're talking to your husband
who died 20 years ago.
336
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,562
That's right. You know,
it's totally different from a movie.
337
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,515
In the movies, a guy's laying there, then,
all of a sudden, he's like, "I'm dying!"
338
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,989
Then he just dies. He looks great.
339
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,815
Like he just got a facial.
340
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,124
And then it's like,
"All right, see you later."
341
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,238
He kind of looks over...
342
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,624
"I'm sorry I won't be able to make it
to the ball."
343
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,829
"I'm out of the universe." Not even a...
344
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,163
Mm-hmm.
345
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,788
Just literally like...
346
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,166
Gone.
347
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:43,751
Like, insane.
348
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,506
Yeah.
349
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,588
So people see that shit
and they just assume,
350
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,175
"Oh, I'll start planning for this thing...
351
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,761
When I start getting sick
is when I'll start planning.
352
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,347
Based on the statistical probability
of my death,
353
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:00,273
I've got some amount of time left
to plan for the thing."
354
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:01,442
This is absurdity.
355
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,360
You might have some moments...
356
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,729
...of clarity, but when you
have moments of clarity,
357
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:09,026
your family wants to talk to you
about how you are and the past.
358
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,571
They don't want to talk to you
about what your death plan is
359
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,735
and if you want to be cremated.
360
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,454
This was the cool thing about my dad,
because when he was dying, he...
361
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,746
Man, it was wild. Sometimes he would...
362
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,540
Sorry, remind me.
What did your dad die of?
363
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,713
I kill trillions of beings per second.
364
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,792
The slow fades.
365
00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,344
He stood under a horde shadow
during the Sector Wars.
366
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:32,342
A tiny bit of the shadow just seeped in.
He struggled with it his entire life.
367
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,602
Eventually it got into his lungs.
He was a hero.
368
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,135
Found out about all his medals
after he died.
369
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,393
Oh, right, right, right.
370
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:40,885
So when he was dying, he...
371
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,306
Sometimes, he would recognize me.
372
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:46,114
Sometimes, he thought that I was someone
who was a soldier from the Sector Wars.
373
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,150
Probably the bald head.
374
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,823
That's a common thing
for people at the end of life.
375
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,363
He would be like,
"Who is your commanding officer?"
376
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,447
He would say things like that.
It was really interesting, but...
377
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:59,663
And so, you know, I was thinking,
"Well, I probably won't see him again."
378
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:03,325
Like, "Right now what I'm seeing
is this sort of, like, sleepwalker.
379
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,535
I don't know that I'll see my dad again."
380
00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,883
And then, he'd pop back up.
He popped right out of it.
381
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,304
There he was.
382
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,719
And he... And he was...
383
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:18,428
Because I have been taught
to be honest with dying people...
384
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,311
Thank God.
385
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:23,194
When he would...
He said, "What's happening?"
386
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,848
And I'm like, "Oh, you're dying."
387
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,977
And then he's like, "Oh, okay.
388
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,355
You'd better go get a pen
and a piece of paper."
389
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,322
And then he starts telling me, you know,
what to...
390
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,571
You know, what to say to people.
391
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,826
It was beautiful. It was wonderful.
392
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:41,158
You know, including things which
I still haven't done. I've got to do this.
393
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,285
You know, like, send a lunch platter
394
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:44,212
to the hospice.
395
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,959
All these beautiful instructions.
It was... I got lucky that he did this.
396
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,053
Yeah. You should send a lunch platter
to the hospice.
397
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,009
-I'm going to.
-They'd love that.
398
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,381
I'm going to do it.
399
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,545
Dad, wherever you may be
in the past, present or future,
400
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,255
it's happening, I'm sorry.
401
00:18:58,345 --> 00:19:00,425
I'm a little distracted.
That's not a good excuse.
402
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,974
Easy to send a lunch platter.
403
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:07,306
Well, Death, it has been really great
getting to know you.
404
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,266
Likewise. Thank you
for letting me gab about my work.
405
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,286
Hey, um, I need the hose.
406
00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:24,158
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Can you get... That's my hose.
407
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,076
I need it.
408
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,834
Hey, I need...
409
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,575
Hey! Hey, man!
410
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,837
Hey, man! Hey, man!
411
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,716
Who dares to waken old Elevator Emperor?
412
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:48,435
Anyone up for a game of basketball? No.
413
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,230
Baseball? No.
414
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,936
-Ping-pong?
-No!
415
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,311
Stop fighting it.
416
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,440
You're gonna be okay. Face the void.
417
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,523
Besides, you're not gonna die yet.
418
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,227
That'll be on a rolly chair.
419
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,237
Rolly chair?
420
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:40,322
Holy shit! Yeah!
421
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,434
Hello, boy.
422
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,430
Oh, that's my hose.
423
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,931
What are you? Are you a metaphor?
424
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:18,574
Want to slide?
425
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:23,069
Whoo! Yeah!
426
00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:26,236
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
427
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:31,543
Woo-hoo-hoo!
428
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,924
This is the best slide I've been on.
Honestly.
429
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,631
I've been on a lot of waterslides.
430
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,798
I need you as a bag again.
431
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,550
Thanks. Bag mode, activate.
432
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:47,306
Let's go bag home.
433
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:03,988
Goodbye, Blank Ball!
434
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,122
You suck!
435
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:07,988
She said I'm gonna die on a...
436
00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:10,616
I'm gonna die on a rolly chair!
437
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:14,247
Ooh hoo! Ooh hoo!
438
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,078
Shit!
439
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:25,264
Hey, thanks, Clancy!
440
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,854
You are welcome.
441
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:29,635
Mmm.
442
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,096
So what are you gonna do now?Meditate or something?
443
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,266
Oh, jeez, no. That was embarrassing.
444
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,902
No, I'm not enlightened anymore.
I wasn't enlightened.
445
00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:40,612
That doesn't even mean anything.
446
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,862
Hey, Charlotte. Missed you, too.
447
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,045
What does death look like to you?
448
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,041
Chirp.
34951
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