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1
00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,763
Go, you can do it! Come on!
2
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,727
Clom, have you been smoking again?
Let's go! Go! Go!
3
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:20,438
Come on, Ousley! You're at the front.
Go! Go!
4
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:23,227
Rondo, what are you doing?
5
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,074
It's the other direction!
6
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,030
How many times do I have to tell you?
7
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,110
Believe in yourself. Let's move!
8
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,905
What are you doing? You're sitting there!
9
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,831
-Hello.
-Clancy, it's Sarah.
10
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:42,713
Welcome to the official voicemail
of Clancy Gilroy.
11
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,842
Unfortunately, I'm too busy
12
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:48,759
working on my very successful,
very popular spacecast.
13
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,840
But leave a message
and either me or my assistant, Charlotte,
14
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,137
will get back to you.
15
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,310
Beep.
16
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,888
The fake voicemail thingdoesn't work anymore.
17
00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,104
But that's okay. You don't have to answer.
18
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:02,725
- I just want you to know I love you.
19
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:06,022
And if this is about the money,you don't need to pay me back.
20
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,397
I know you moved to the Ribbonto get a new start,
21
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,775
but, Clancy, no matter where you go,
22
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:15,122
things are always gonna be the sameif you don't change.
23
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,660
To quote Mahatma Gandhi,
24
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,163
there is a place in a man's heart,
25
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:23,705
and wherever there's a rainbow,you can be sure that God's footprints...
26
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:27,422
Voicemail full. Message not received.
27
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,931
- God.
- Good morning, Clancy.
28
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,641
Which universe will you choose today?
29
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,601
Give me a planet. Pull up a planet.
I need to do an interview.
30
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,141
What about this one?
31
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,596
Due to operator error,
32
00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,685
there are no longerliving things on this planet.
33
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,231
What about this one? Or this one?
34
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:50,145
Or this one? Or this one? Or this one?
What's going on?
35
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,565
Master, when there is a big red Xon the planet,
36
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,614
-it means that, due to operator error...
-Wait!
37
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:57,367
This planet doesn't have an X.
38
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,410
Send me in here.
39
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,503
You chose 2-Way Mirror Bubble Planet.
40
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:04,209
Unfortunately, due to operator error,
41
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,290
all sentient bubbles on this planethave popped.
42
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,627
From loneliness.
43
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,839
Wait! There appears to be one left.
44
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,093
Open view portal. Let's see who it is.
45
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:16,005
-Opening view portal.
-Thanks.
46
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,454
No, wait! Wait! Wait, wait!
47
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,656
Send me in. I can cheer him up.
Target Bubble Man.
48
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:45,793
No!
49
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,290
What the fuck, Simulator?
50
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,246
You need to fix your operator errors
so that I can do my...
51
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,297
FAQ. Please read the FAQ.
52
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:57,762
Just open any of the 40 messagesI've sent to you... you... you...
53
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,934
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine!
54
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,522
F-A...
55
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,349
Fuck. Q.
56
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,568
Ooh, that looks good.
57
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,704
I was in a flooded basementsnorting cocaine with strangers
58
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:20,951
when a neighbor brought usthat Pie Messiah.
59
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:25,044
I ate one slice and it dawned on methat the solution to my problems
60
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,421
was to bring a Pie Messiahto my neighbors,
61
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,578
see, and ever since then...
62
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,376
- ...I've been free
63
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,500
of all my emotional pain.
64
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,427
Yes!
65
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,477
Ooh!
66
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,697
The pie is ready, Master.
67
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,297
More like "Pie Mess."
68
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,968
Very funny, Master.
69
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,548
Very funny.
70
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,763
Isn't it oddthat you can never see your own eyes?
71
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,390
Yep.
72
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,885
Come on, Charlotte.
Let's meet the neighbors.
73
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,745
Hmm.
74
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,894
Artifact detected in Elyfim 4.
75
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:10,852
Well, then, let's take what's ours
to glorify the Progenitor.
76
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:15,614
Sleeping...
77
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,480
...in the artifact cart again,
are we, maggot pig?
78
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,068
No no, no, Father.
79
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,743
I was simply meditating on your glories.
80
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,332
Simpering lies of a coward maggot.
81
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,618
Almost as bad as my krexing daughter.
82
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,042
Sorry, Father.
83
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,290
Oh, sorry to trouble you, my sweet child.
84
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:35,673
Wouldn't want to disrupt an artiste!
85
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,125
But there's actual work
that needs attending.
86
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:39,922
- Come on now.
- Dad!
87
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,836
It's time to harvest!
88
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:57,516
Simulator, take us
to the Elyfim 4 artifact. Make it quick.
89
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,147
I'll be in the control room.
90
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,533
Certainly, Master.
91
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,372
No breaks!
92
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,999
They're close, my sweet master.
93
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,797
Okay. Let's take a look.
94
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,471
I see nothing but ash.
95
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:29,311
Behold. A treasureappears to lay beneath the ash.
96
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:35,766
By the Progenitor's beard,
a golden horn of hidden innocence!
97
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,404
What is that fetching at market
these days, boy?
98
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,362
Over five million, Master.
99
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,992
Wait, Father.
Maybe we can put her in the zoo.
100
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,320
And waste such treasure?
101
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,946
-Yeah, shut up, tart baker!
-I'm not a tart baker.
102
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:54,043
This horn will cover the cost
of three new simulators.
103
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,589
I brought you a Pie Messiah.
104
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,677
What? What is this?
105
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,061
Intruder.
106
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:19,731
Who dares trespass upon my dirty land?
107
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:21,904
Sorry, I left it in the oven too long.
108
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,943
Actually, It's not even supposed
to be ovenable. Not sure if that's a word.
109
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,857
You microwave it.
I don't have a microwave yet.
110
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,736
But I just wanted to stop by.
We haven't met.
111
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,163
I'm your neighbor, Clancy.
112
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,831
Wanted to say hi,
and I brought you a Pie Messiah.
113
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:39,424
Your interruption cost me 50 million,
outsider!
114
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,500
Father! Father! Father...
115
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,673
The horn. Did you get the horn?
116
00:07:44,755 --> 00:07:46,545
No, Father, and the zygerd got away...
117
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:50,602
She lies, Father. She let the zygerd go
and now the horn is lost.
118
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,218
Daddy!
119
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,055
Stephreyus Gene Hitch! Ah!
120
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:57,311
I can't believe
that you've done this again.
121
00:07:57,393 --> 00:08:01,193
Master, have you ever seen your own eyes?
122
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,442
Damn it, she's melting down.
123
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,983
Rub some green oil onto her.
Right now, boy!
124
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,107
I said now!
125
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:14,244
-I'm surrounded by idiots.
-What's that stuff for?
126
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,502
Oh, a joke.
127
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,499
We must have a comedian in our midst.
128
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,922
Thank you, yeah.
Well, I mean, I do have a sense of humor...
129
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,172
You're not funny at all!
130
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,553
Everyone knows
you need to massage lantern-head oil
131
00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:30,132
into the simulator every day, twice a day,
132
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,928
or the worlds within
will not produce artifacts.
133
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:35,142
And the simulator could apopty...
134
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,273
Could apocalyptize, outsider.
135
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,390
And that means poof!
136
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,187
Poof! Poof!
137
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,071
- Wobble time.
- Okay.
138
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,898
Uh...
139
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:47,323
Well, it's great to meet you all.
140
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:50,945
Come by sometime. Just down the way.
Enjoy the pie.
141
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,450
Never come back!
142
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,572
Okay, I won't.
143
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,831
No big deal, not like I spent
144
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,003
all day making you a Pie Messiah.
145
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,582
You're gonna do that to the person
who lives right down the way?
146
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,128
We share vibes!
147
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,170
You're gonna do that to me?
You're gonna do that to your neighbor?
148
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,466
If someone brings you a pie,
you say thank you.
149
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,680
Hello, Eye Master. While youwere gone, I baked something for you.
150
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,351
-You did?
-You bet I did.
151
00:09:15,429 --> 00:09:17,099
What? What did you bake?
152
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,521
Behold the Eye Messiah.
153
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,810
Oh, no.
154
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,901
I want to watch youeat it, Master. Eat it, Master.
155
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,276
Have a slice.
156
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,033
Eat...
157
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,623
me...
158
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,202
please.
159
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,118
No!
160
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,575
Oh, man.
161
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,444
Simulator Repair, this is Captain Bryce.
162
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,400
Hey, Bryce.
163
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,071
My name's Clancy
and I think my simulator...
164
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,321
-Is pouring out purple smoke?
-Yeah.
165
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:13,823
What kinda suckspometer you runnin'?
166
00:10:13,904 --> 00:10:15,704
-I don't know.
-Does it have looping ducts?
167
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:16,911
-I dunno.
-Suckling nodes?
168
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,371
-I don't know.
-Plate dilometers?
169
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,405
-I don't know.
-Accenuating vapors?
170
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,834
-Uh...
-Do you even know
171
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,962
what is going on in your simulator?
172
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,170
It's the ducts! I don't know.
Yeah, I guess.
173
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,290
- Let me go check it out.
- Captain Bryce...
174
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:29,877
Oh, God!
175
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,052
Why didn't you say there was a...
176
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,181
...can eat their own eyes.
177
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,426
Don't!
178
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,848
Shit!
179
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,572
Captain Bryce, are you dead?
180
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,909
Whoo! Yeah!
181
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,330
Holy cow, son!
182
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:06,119
You've got a forbidden Velma 960
and she is fixing to wobble.
183
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,117
Wobble?
184
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,708
When was the last time
you rubbed green oil on it?
185
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,174
And where's your lantern head?
186
00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,629
Bryce, I'm gonna be honest with you.
187
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,724
I don't understand
most of the words you're saying.
188
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,390
I just moved here from Earth.
189
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,098
I bought this acre real cheap online
and...
190
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,269
I don't know.
I kind of bit off more than I could chew.
191
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:28,188
Clancy, Captain Bryce
is gonna take good care of you.
192
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,018
Thanks, Captain Bryce.
193
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:34,316
And I won't tell anybody about
the highly illegal contraband simlife...
194
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,239
that you've been harvesting.
195
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,566
-What?
-I myself have harvested
196
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,408
magically-imbued life from a simulator.
197
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,754
Now you know my secret
198
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,709
and I know yours.
199
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,709
We are intertwined.
200
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,960
Shit.
201
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,585
Holy moly, it's making more!
202
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,098
Come on, my boy,
let's locate your lantern head
203
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:08,982
and get some green oil on that Velma
before she wobbles us into shards of time!
204
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,351
Wait up, Captain Bryce.
205
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,938
Clancy, my boy, look at this.
206
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:14,904
Sparkle.
207
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,494
Sparkle?
208
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:20,819
The only thing that will stop
your simulator from apocalypticizing
209
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,486
is the green oil
from that beast over there.
210
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,746
Bryce, are we in any danger?
211
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:29,668
No. Not if you follow my simple rules...
212
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,539
...which I will sing to you right now.
213
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:33,456
Okay.
214
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,418
Holy moly!
215
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,508
Hustle, you tart baker!
216
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,736
Wow. You're a really good singer.
217
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,989
Oh, thank you, Clancy.
218
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,991
I'm not a professional, obviously.
It's just a part-time hobby.
219
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,494
It's just something I like to do
for many hours of the day.
220
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,866
Captain Bryce, what about this... this guy?
221
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:50,834
He seems fine.
222
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:56,460
This unlucky looter broke in and found
himself inside a patch of purple wobble.
223
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:00,511
-That's the kind that locks you in time.
-Shouldn't we get him out of there?
224
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,339
I'm afraid it's too late
for this sorry sap.
225
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,724
His heart's still ticking,
226
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:06,931
but his mind is pickled.
227
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,602
I'm gonna poke him out of there.
228
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,481
It's Brussels sprouts,
not brussel sprouts. Brussels!
229
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,903
Yep, just as I thought.
230
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:19,071
- Not brussel.
- He's pickled.
231
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:23,279
Rewinding this mush brain back
is the only humane thing left to do.
232
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,572
What the fuck is "brussel"?
233
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,833
Hey, Bryce. What... What is...
234
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,199
What does the kind of wobble do
that's pee-pee yellow
235
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,787
and creeping up behind you?
236
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:35,502
There's no such thing, you fool!
237
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,173
Whoops, that's not in my rules!
238
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,707
Hey!
239
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,344
Clancy!
240
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,635
-What?
-You must go save Sparkle.
241
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,430
Harvest the green oil
and rub it into your simulator.
242
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:55,845
Destiny calls but once in a lifetime!
243
00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:02,691
Uh...
244
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,446
I'll just go steal it from my neighbor.
245
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:05,855
Okay.
246
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:26,932
You gonna eat me now?
247
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,139
No. Shh!
248
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,008
- Eat me now.
- Get out of here.
249
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:31,345
- Please?
- Scat.
250
00:15:34,558 --> 00:15:35,848
Yeah.
251
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,692
I'm sorry.
I was just checking on the Pie Messiah.
252
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,407
I wanted to make sure y'all liked it.
253
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,079
You think I could borrow
some lantern-head oil?
254
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:56,913
Funny story.
I didn't know my simulator needed any.
255
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:59,377
And now, I think it's about to...
256
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,538
- Intruder.- Thanks for the pie.
257
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,798
Bye, Clancy.
258
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,880
Oof!
259
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:09,128
Ah!
260
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,886
Master, I can see my eyes.
261
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,978
I can see your eyes.
262
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:22,693
This is our eyes.
263
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,532
The eyes have it.
264
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,533
Good morning, Clancy.Which universe will you choose today?
265
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:34,785
Fuck!
266
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,539
Hey, you okay, Clancy?
267
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:39,371
I'm fucking fine, Bryce!
268
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,076
Okay. Bye.
269
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,206
All my work, it's gone.
270
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:46,263
How was I supposed to know
you needed fucking oil every day?
271
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,838
- Master, I did tell you.
- No, you didn't. When?
272
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:49,934
I showed you a week ago.
273
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,509
- That's a week ago.
- I showed you the day before that.
274
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:53,554
Okay, twice.
275
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,217
-I told you in your hammock.
-Three times. Big fucking deal.
276
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,976
-I showed you five minutes ago.
-Too late!
277
00:16:58,058 --> 00:17:01,018
-Master, it's become clear to me...
-I don't need you to fuckin' tell me...
278
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,313
...that you've been avoidingdealing with the real world
279
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,727
-by going into my many universes.
-...how to live my life!
280
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,686
May I suggestmeeting my friend David?
281
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:10,856
-How the fuck do you have friends?
-He lives on Buton 78914.
282
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,316
He's a meditation master.
283
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,116
I don't want to meet
your boring-ass friend David.
284
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,870
You could be Octopus Sheriff.
285
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,412
How about this...
286
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:19,575
Bon voyage, Master.
287
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:22,083
You failed, asshole!
288
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,786
-Have fun.
-Shut up!
289
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,217
Intriguing on so many levels.
290
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,270
Hey, hi, Clancy. I'm David.
291
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,267
Why don't you take a seat?
292
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:50,646
Mmm. How about you take a seat
on my fucking face, Mr. Meditation Man?
293
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,656
How does that sound
with your big dolphin smile
294
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,369
and your comfortable fucking pants?
295
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,740
How does that sound?
296
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:02,956
Now you see who you really are?
Filled with fucking rage!
297
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,084
Are you done?
298
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,377
Yeah, I'm done.
299
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,377
Let's take a minute together, okay?
300
00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:12,466
Here are three principles
we could at least check out.
301
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,343
First one, silence.
302
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,769
Giving you room to listen.
303
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,978
Second one, stillness.
304
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,690
Giving you room to feel.
305
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,310
Third one, spaciousness.
306
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,482
Just giving you room.
307
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,572
This sucks.
308
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,736
It's literally the worst experienceof my entire life.
309
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:42,196
Why the fuckwould anyone do this to themselves?
310
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,711
I wonder if I left the faucet on?Man, bees are amazing.
311
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,041
My sister's allergic to bees.That was pretty cool
312
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,337
when her face got all swollen,her lips looked like clown lips.
313
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,171
I miss her. Sarah's cool.
314
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,007
Too bad I ruined that relationship.
315
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,722
My face itches.
316
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,722
Holy shit.
317
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,683
Whoa!
318
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,063
Monkey?
319
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:10,519
Monkey?
320
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:14,067
Oh! Monkey! Ow!
321
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,573
Monkey!
322
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:20,076
Monkey! Monkey!
323
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,870
Monkey! You're so cute, little...
324
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,959
Get your mother... Hey!
325
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,166
Shh.
326
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,662
I did it. David, I did it.
327
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,325
That's great. Have a good day.
328
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,875
Wait. Do you think
you could help me untangle myself?
329
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,378
Yeah.
330
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:18,796
Here we go.
331
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:24,641
The moment I just accepted where I was,
instead of wishing I was somewhere else,
332
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:25,853
everything just got better.
333
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,425
Fantastic.
334
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,984
It's like, for a second,
my thoughts weren't much of anything.
335
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:35,897
Like I...
336
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,324
-How do I say it? It's like I just "was."
-Oops.
337
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:41,155
Is that normal?
338
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,990
Yes. You see, Duncan...
339
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:43,905
Clancy.
340
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:44,832
Oh, okay.
341
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,457
If you're caught up in your story,
342
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:53,789
it's like living in a tiny apartment
with just enough room for you
343
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:55,207
and your little mattress.
344
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:58,165
The moment you get a little space
between yourself and your thoughts,
345
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,427
it's like moving into a much bigger house.
346
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,135
Then there's room to invite people in.
347
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:09,942
There's space for you.
348
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,398
And there's space for them.
349
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,228
That's spaciousness.
350
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,153
Cool.
351
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:16,021
Like, you're talking about
the thing where...
352
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,068
I've thought about this a little bit...
353
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:21,821
you could be living in a massive house,
but you're still a hoarder.
354
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,775
Even though the space is empty,
355
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:27,615
your mind is still filled up
with all of this stuff
356
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,543
that's making you miserable all the time.
357
00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:31,671
Basically,
we're talking about psychological space.
358
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:32,918
Your mind is overcrowded.
359
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,210
That's it, yeah.
360
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,423
So then you go,
"What if I just emptied my mind?"
361
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:38,634
-Right.
-Just empty your mind.
362
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,094
Well, go ahead and try.
363
00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:41,093
Can it even be done?
364
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:43,184
Yes. You could learn how to do that.
365
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,550
But it isn't the goal.
366
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,256
And a lot of people teach meditation
367
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:53,096
as if the goal is to treat your mind like
an unruly teenager and make it shut up.
368
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:55,396
-Right. It's aggressive.
-It's very aggressive.
369
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,780
So, just to be clear, you're sort of...
You're saying don't...
370
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,449
It's not like you're supposed to shove
371
00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:04,778
some kind of butt plug
in the asshole of your mind.
372
00:22:12,789 --> 00:22:15,709
Shoving a butt plug
in the asshole of your mind!
373
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:18,002
But corking up that part...
374
00:22:18,086 --> 00:22:19,586
That idea of corking...
375
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,802
It's not the idea.
376
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:27,432
It seems more like it's accepting
there's this infinite swarm of thoughts
377
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:29,772
and that by understanding
378
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:33,518
that you're not necessarily as connected
to them as you thought, it allows...
379
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:35,602
-Which is what this is talking about.
-Right.
380
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:38,227
Yeah. You don't have to kind of grasp
and dwell on that
381
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,475
as the only solution
for continuing to be alive.
382
00:22:40,567 --> 00:22:41,777
-Wow.
-There's another option,
383
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:44,990
which is to use the sense-percept
to arrive back at the present.
384
00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:45,952
I get it.
385
00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:47,031
I'm enlightened now.
386
00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:49,115
-I thank you, my enlightened brother.
-Okay.
387
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,451
Now I will return to my world
and transform it forever.
388
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:54,117
-I just have one question for you.
-Sure.
389
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,286
On the way out the door.
390
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:59,544
How can you tell that you're feeling
that you are enlightened
391
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:01,708
and that you're gonna go save
all the other beings?
392
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:02,667
Mm-hmm.
393
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:08,893
Um...
394
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,602
Okay, cut to commercial.
395
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:19,108
I'm gonna walk out of the studio
right now.
396
00:23:20,690 --> 00:23:21,900
Before you go, here.
397
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:23,401
Take this with you.
398
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:28,989
That's a good one, David. I get it.
You gave me nothing.
399
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,744
Take a closer look, Clancy.
400
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,250
Whoa.
401
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:37,576
Whoa.
402
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,337
-Thank you.
-Think nothing of it.
403
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:48,636
I'm back!
404
00:23:48,718 --> 00:23:51,678
Greetings, Master.Did you have fun talking to David?
405
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:53,523
- I did.
- Cool.
406
00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:55,885
Did you see the monkey with the cape?
407
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,806
Yeah!
408
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:59,650
-Thanks, Computer.
-You're welcome, Master.
409
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:03,694
Hey, call me
Clancy, "the Enlightened One."
410
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,355
Oh, damn.
411
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:06,954
Boop. Boop.
412
00:24:17,122 --> 00:24:18,672
Hey, Clancy?
413
00:24:18,748 --> 00:24:20,328
Oh, I'm sorry, Captain Bryce.
414
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,337
I completely forgot
you were still over there.
415
00:24:22,419 --> 00:24:25,509
Sometimes, the mind flies
get the best of us. It happens.
416
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,628
I'm sorry you're trapped in there, man.
417
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:31,047
Oh, no worries. I'm fine.
418
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:34,216
I finally have time
to really think about things, you know?
419
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,886
Gives me a whole new perspective.
420
00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:37,805
That's great.
421
00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:41,935
-Hey, Clancy, could you do me a favor?
-Yeah, sure.
422
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:43,442
If it's not too much trouble,
423
00:24:43,523 --> 00:24:46,033
could I bother you
for a little something to eat?
424
00:24:46,109 --> 00:24:47,279
Oh, yeah, sure thing.
425
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:55,582
Ah, num, num.
426
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:09,045
Ah, yes, you'll get two chariots when
you ascend to the spirit plane, for sure.
427
00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:10,839
Thank you, good man.
428
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:12,006
You're welcome.
429
00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:55,548
Chirp.
32086
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