All language subtitles for South Side s03e03 The Laughter.eng

[indistinct chatter]

- I can't take
a fourth day off of work.

We already been kicking it
for 72 hours straight.

I got to go.
- Whoa.

- [gasps]
- Whoa, whoa.

- My God.
- What the fuck?

Where is my shit?
- Oh!

- Mama!
Mama!

- Oh, ho-ho.

- At least
they left the inmates.

- What the fuck is this?

- Q, where's the shit?
- Jay-Mal!

- Ooh.
- What?

- Where the fuck
is everything, man?

Where is my merch?
- That ain't mine.

That ain't mine.
What--what's going on?

What?
Oh my God.

What?
- Damn, they finally got y'all.

- Them ain't even
Simeon colors.

What the hell?
- I got these from Chaz.

- And your ass living here?
- I'm not living here.

I got here early.
I saw everything's gone, right?

Whoa, whoa.
- Fake!

- And I got distraught.
I laid down.

- Wow.
- And I took my clothes off.

- Mm-hmm.
- That always helps me think.

- No, you did--
- Yeah.

- I know you did not use the
bed to iron your clothes, bro.

What the fuck?
- OK, now, look.

I ain't want to say nothing,
because I don't want

to be putting people on blast,
but I think Trell

had something to do with this.
- What?

Why you saying Trell name?
- I agree.

Trell, you're fired.
- Fired?

- Mm-mm.
I let this nigga see my feet.

Get out.
- Guys!

Obviously, nobody trusts Trell.
- Mm-hmm.

- But I bet Q did this shit
for the insurance money.

- The store
is not insured, Copernicus.

- I stand corrected.
- Hey, guys.

Come here!
Look at this!

- Why is he yelling?

- Ooh.
- What you--

- Hurry up.
- Oh, wow.

- Whoa.
Whoa.

- Do you see this?

- What kind of "Batman"
fucking Joker shit is this?

- I ain't never seen
this wall before.

- It looks like tic-tac-toe
and mountain tops.

- Oh, shit, y'all.

I think this is
the work of the Laughter.

- Oh, because "ha, ha, ha."
- [laughs]

- Wait. Are you talking about
the dude

that robs rental-own stores?

I thought
that was just an urban legend.

- Is this for real?
- Nah, I heard of him too.

They say he gives
the repo furniture back

to the customers.
- Oh, that's nice.

- Guys, guys.
There's no way he's real.

Smart money's
on old Tricky Trell.

- What?
- Yes.

- I just want to ask
a question real quick

before I get up out of here.
- Trell!

- Trell,
what are you doing here?

- ♪ I was born
on the South Side ♪

♪ I was raised
on the South Side ♪

♪ Everybody stick together
like we in the line ♪

♪ Because it ain't no side
like the south side ♪

♪ On the South Side,
South Side ♪

- And, lastly,
some goofball's been

stealing from
the city's furniture

and appliance rental stores.

We got Rent Town,
Our Stuff Your Place,

Rent Till You're Spent,
IKEEPA

all got hit in the last week.

- You know, sir,
I'm seeing a pattern here

because they also got Why Buy,
My Guy, 50 Easy Payments,

and Keep It From Now
But Then Bring It Back.

And also, apparently,
at IKEEPA,

they ate
all the Danish meatballs.

- Oh, Lord.
He playing detective again.

Here comes "Er-cule Pie-row."

[laughter]

- I don't know who that is.

You didn't
pronounce it correctly.

But if you meant
Hercule Poirot--

which is
the correct pronunciation--

of course it's just like that.

Because this is just like

"Murder on the Orient Express."
It is fast-moving.

It is a mystery.
It is on rails,

and we are heading
into uncharted waters.

- OK, so we on a train
going into the water?

That don't make no sense.
- Yeah.

We don't know who can swim.

Also, whoever drew this,
not OK, all right?

Don't want to open
my locker expecting

to see my personal items
and seeing this thing.

I don't even know, really,
what it is.

This is badly drawn.

If this is what you look like,
you need to go to the doctor.

And, by the way,
whoever did it, camera's on.

Now it's evidence.

So congratulations,
you blew it.

- [taps glass]

- There once
was an Alderman Gayle

who served
his constituents well.

He is slutty and sneaky,
wears dirty dashikis...

[laughter]

And I bet he ends up in jail.
- Hell, no.

She made him look ridiculous.
Oh, there he is.

- [laughs]

- Oh, and it all came off
the top of the dome, y'all.

All right, three cheers
for Allen Gayle.

Hip, hip...
- Hooray.

- Hip, hip...
- Hooray.

- Hip, hip...

- Hooray.
- Thank you.

Thank you, Kitty.
Thank you, Kitty.

I'll have you guys know, this
is a very, very clean dashiki.

I got this
at the part of Hyde Park

that we all lovingly refer
to as Little Africa.

- Man, don't nobody
call it that.

- Uh, yes,
they call it Little Africa.

- So you just gonna
be Little African?

Cool.
- Evanston, speaking up.

[laughter]

Evanston's speaking
out of turn.

Listen, I want you guys to
enjoy this evening, all right?

This is a great cause
that--the cause is me.

What can I say?
The cause is me.

I'm the cause.

I'm not "The Coz" though
I do appreciate

his donation, as well.
- Allan.

- Enjoy the night.
Enjoy the night.

We have a cheese tray.
- All right.

[cheering and applause]
Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you so much.
I appreciate that $25 check.

- Allen.

- OK, I know limericks are
supposed to be fun and saucy,

but what the hell was that?
- Yeah, Kitty's fucked up.

- Look, she was
laughing not with me.

- She is not somebody
who you should be

trifling with because she has
terrible, terrible things

going on inside her head.

There's a major
crime spree operating

right under your nose.
Now, I can solve this.

We can solve this.
- Hey!

What the hell is going on
with all this goddamn noise?

All this talking
and carrying on.

Y'all done play
"Wipe Me Down" three times!

Even Boosie doesn't want
to hear it that much!

I live downstairs,
and I can't get no peace.

Whose party is this?

- Uh, it would be
my fancy-ass party.

Hi.
Um, yeah.

I'm Alderman Allen Gayle.

This is my annual fundraiser.
Hi. Hi.

- The world don't
need alderman no more.

- Ooh, hot take.
Hot take.

- I got a free coffee table
from The Laughter.

He runs this city now.

The Laughter fulfilled
all my needs.

- Oh, nice.

Sounds like
a wonderful individual.

- You can get the fuck
up out of my face.

- I believe that "You Can Get
the Fuck Up Out Of My Face"

is the new song from Dirk.
DJ, play that.

And definitely play
"Wipe Me Down," too.

- I told you
this shit is getting serious.

You see how she's acting?

I need you to make some noise.

By the way, we have played
"Wipe Me Down" a lot.

All right.
Play "The Wobble."

- There once
was a disgruntled woman.

- Don't be
limerick-ing me, bitch.

- Snitch Jenkins.
- Oh, please.

Call me Susan Snitch Jenkins.

But don't do nothing around me.

Because, if I see it,
I'm going to tell it.

- Yeah, I know you be telling.

- Anyway, I have all kinds
of crimes to report this week.

I'm talking white collar,
blue collar, green collar--

those are
environmental crimes--

- OK, be still.
Listen, listen.

Now, have you heard
anything about somebody

stealing furniture
back for RTO customers?

- Oh, The Laughter.
Here's his card.

That's all you need to get
blenders, toasters, furniture,

you name it.

You just call that number
and go, "ha, ha, ha."

Real monotone.
Just like that.

Let me see you do it.
- Ha, ha, ha.

- No, you got to do it
for real.

- Ha, ha, ha.
- That's it.

So you want
to hear about a binder

full of
holographic Pokémon

that got stolen
from an auction?

I heard they got a Mewtwo,

arguably, the thickest Pokémon.
- OK.

Well, see, that's where
you're wrong because, clearly,

Jigglypuff is
the biggest Pokémon.

Jiggly is in the name.

- Whomever you are,
my name is Alderman Gayle,

and you're on notice.
We're coming for you, OK?

Don't take our stuff.
It doesn't belong to you.

It doesn't even belong
to the people

you've been taking it from.

And one other important thing,

this is a clean dashiki.

The scurrilous
rumors are false.

I have clean, socks
and drawers every single day.

- Ooh, yes, girl.

You is about to bring
the French row back.

- And I'll do it on live TV.

- What he be looking like
at y'all alderman meetings?

- Usually clean, but this
little video may backfire.

- You remember
what happened last time

the city had a vigilante?
The Slap Boxer?

- Girl, yes.
My mama got slapped.

- They slapped my dog.
- Oh, no.

- The Slap Boxer is real.

You can identify him
by this distinctive shirt

that he's wearing
that says, "You Got Heart?"

Now, when he slaps you,
you will be stunned.

Most of the slaps
are coming from behind.

Fight through the sting.
Stand your ground.

Then you must swing on him.
He will dodge it.

But once he sees that
your reflexes are on point,

you are free to go
about your work day.

When I spoke up,
the slaps increased tenfold.

- Oh, hell yeah.
It sure did.

- I made it worse.
- Yeah, you did.

Because my Granny
got slapped, as well.

- Oh my God, child, that lady
makes some good greens.

- She sure did.
[doorbell rings]

- Hold on.
Let me get that.

- No, I'm coming too.

Because if that's
who I think it is,

I'm slapping first.
- Hello?

What's this?

- ♪ Wham, bam,
thank you, ma'am ♪

♪ This your dancing telegram ♪

And...
- Oh.

Oh, shit.
- Oh.

- Uh-oh.
Oh, the Roger Rabbit.

The Bob Fosse.

[gasps]
The Katherine Dunham Technique

Ooh.
- Now he cutting up.

- Wow.

- [scatting]
Hey.

[gasping together]]
The one-man conga line!

- Oh, my girl,
you know I love this.

- You is cutting up.
- [exhales]

- Wow, beautiful.
- You dance from your heart.

- Encore.
Thank you.

OK, get ready for a surprise.
I am shocked.

You did that.
All right--oh!

- ♪ It's been real,
it's been nice ♪

♪ Hope you enjoyed
this dancing night ♪

- Good night.

[laughs]
Entertaining, like--

[screams]
My stove!

What the fuck?
- How did the--oh.

- Oh, what?
My stove!

Oh, no!

- "This burned my hands."

- Oh, what?

Ha-fucking-ha-fucking-ha.

You--
[grunts]

And you ain't even do nothing.

Hey!

- It's always an inside job.

[gasps]
Quincy.

Huh.

It could also be
the person you least suspect.

Christina Milian, no.
No, it's probably Quincy.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Now, picture this bed.

Not in picture form,
but in bed form.

♪ ♪

- Oh.

- I said picture it!

- Attention.

Last night, I was
visited by The Laughter,

and he stole my stove.

- He got moves, though.
Damn, look at this.

- Do you know how hard it is

to be a kitchen beautician
without a stove?

I had to air-fry
my client's edges.

- [gasps]
Don't say that.

- Yeah, it's fucked up.

Look, this is his accomplice,

and I want
his ass beat immediately.

- We're all in danger here.
- Who would have ever thought?

Chicago, unsafe.
- It had a broiler.

Here you go, sir.
Thank you.

Be on the lookout, brother.

It had an analog clock
and a digital clock.

There you go, sister.
Watch out for me, thank you.

And here--
- Now take this shit down.

I'm tired of everyone
spreading baseless rumors

and not working.

This is just some dumb dancer,
lost to obscurity--

as we all will be one day.

[phone ringing]

- Man, Q,
that's kind of a bummer.

- Jay-Mal, I'm done with you.
Go home.

- [sighs]
Say less.

- Why is he still here?
- What's up, man?

No, I'm off work right now.

- Yeah, at the crib.
Just come through.

My dad's here, but,
you know, he's chill, so...

- I'm not your dad,
nor am I chill.

- Yeah, that's him.

- You've been acting
really strange lately, bro.

Why are you staring
into the past?

- No one cared who I was

until I put on the balaclava.

♪ ♪

I am The Laughter.

- Oh, shit.
The signature look.

How are you robbing
all these stores

and still got time to make
it to all your court days?

- [chuckles]
Oh, no, no, no.

You're mistaken.
I lost that case.

Yeah, that was--
It was horrible.

No, I had my ass handed to me.

And I'm not
The Laughter anymore.

I used to be.

It started
in my second year here,

when I had to extract
a live squirrel from the store.

And, in that process, I, uh,
forgot to scan in the lamp.

Nobody picked up
on the lamp oversight,

so I said, fuck it, and sold it
back to the people

who rented it
at a steep discount.

I made a little chip.

I even got my boy
Curtis involved, you dig?

- Boom, bam, blip.
You became an urban legend.

- Yeah, I just wanted
to be a legend,

but you know how they do us.

- Why didn't you tell me
about all this?

You're my right-hand man.
- You were studying abroad.

- Oh, right.

Santiago, Chile.
Buenos noches.

- I had to quit.
It gave me a big head.

But I got to find out
who's doing this

because I don't want this
to come back to me.

You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

- So that's what's--
Trell, go home.

- What the fuck?
You can see me?

Wow.

After five weeks of friendship,
that's how y'all do me?

Them Italian beefs I was buying
for lunch, off the table.

- You owe me one, Tina.
- Trina.

And remember, when he
gets here, I'm the mom.

- I thought I was the mom.

You know, cool, fun, sexy.
You could do drugs around me.

- OK, I just feel like
I have a more mature energy.

- You just saying that
because I'm unemployed

and because I lost
my Link Card the other day.

But I think somebody stole it.
It'll come back.

- Girl, this is your third
Link Card replacement.

I'm the mom.

- [sighs]

You just always
need to win, don't you?

- OK, you really want to have

this fucking conversation
right now?

- Sure do.
- Well, get into it.

Come on, let's go.

- You got me soul food
when you know I wanted seafood.

You know I love that--

- Bitch, I'm sick
of seafood, OK?

- No--
- I'm sick--

[knocks]
Hi, it's open.

♪ ♪

- I'm the mom.

- So you, uh--
you're poor and you need stuff?

- We do.

It's been so hard
since Earl died.

- Oh, Earl, my husband.

- Well, we're just going
to keep on keeping on.

And I promise you,
we are very desperate.

And so,
here's exactly what we need--

- You need
a full living room set,

full dining room set.
Maybe some lamps.

Expect delivery at midnight.

Ha, ha, ha.

- OK.
- He's cute.

- So this one is more expensive
than the other units,

but it's fully furnished.
- Ooh.

Grayson, I love this space.
- You be loving everything.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Everybody ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Get your groove on ♪

♪ It's time to boogie ♪

- Sane Legs going crazy.

- ♪ Let's do it
all night long ♪

♪ The place is jumping ♪

[applause]

♪ ♪

- Whew.
Thank you, thank you.

All right, thank you, brother.
All right.

All right, sister.
Good to see you.

Next Sunday?
See you at the church.

All right.
You again.

All right.
Yeah, OK.

- [clapping slowly]

- Tips go in
the briefcase, man.

- [chuckles]
Yeah, no tips.

I know you were hired
as a distraction.

Who do those legs work for?

The Laughter, right?

You think you got funny legs?
- Leave me alone, man.

These legs will never talk.
Trust me, I've tried.

[dramatic music]

- Hey.

Hey!
Hey!

both: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Chill, chill, chill.

Just tell us
who The Laughter is

and all will be forgiven.

- Well, I don't know
about that, but don't jump.

- Do you think you can stop
The Laughter if you catch me?

[chuckles]
How naive you are.

You have no idea
how big The Laughter is.

- Stop.
Wait, wait, wait.

BOTH: No!

- Where is he?
Damn it, Sandy.

He was my key
to finding The Laughter.

- Or maybe you were
working together.

You wanted a bigger piece
of the cut, huh?

More of that sweet cherry pie.

It got too much for you,

so you throw his ass
off the ledge.

- You saw him jump in.

- I don't know what I saw.

Oh, this case
is tearing me apart.

- We're hurdling towards chaos,
my friend.

Regular customers are
claiming that The Laughter

took their stuff.
RTO could go out of business.

I could lose
my iron grip on power.

- You smoke?

- When I'm nervous, yeah.
- OK.

No, I'm not judging.
I just didn't know.

Didn't know.
Didn't take you for a smoker.

- You the customer in need?

- I'm going to be real
with you, I'm not.

Turner, a police officer
and trusted friend,

asked me to pretend
to be a poor person in need.

- Turner?

- That's this person,
right here.

- Wait.
Trina is a cop?

- Now, I can't lie.
That's on me.

And so, you're probably
asking yourself, well,

why did she get this girl?
Good question.

She had already used
all of her friends,

family and play-cousins to
furnish her other apartments.

Now, she's behind
one of these doors.

I'll give you...
- Goddamn.

- A guess.
Is it one, two, or three?

It's two.

And I am wearing a wire,
but that's

for something different

that's happening
later on tonight.

No, this is
for something else.

Hold on.
- All right, enough.

Whoever the fuck Turner is,
she fucked up.

The Laughter will destroy her.
- You ain't destroying shit.

Get up against the wall.

And, by the way,
this whole time,

this was a sting operation,
and I am a hero.

- Little Dirk says it's cool.

- 109.9, WCHI,
it's your boy,

the destined legend
Leon Rogers.

And I'm so happy because
they have caught The Laughter.

Breaking news,
they've caught The Laughter.

That's right.

Those of y'all that
didn't get the free furniture,

hold tight, and for those
of y'all that did

get the free furniture,
consider yourself blessed.

But let's get off
that right now.

Alderman Allen Gayle.
What's up, brother?

How you feeling.

- I'm--I'm incapable
of bragging, Leon Rogers.

But--
- Talk your talk, young man.

Talk your talk.
[air horns blaring]

- I feel like my community
came into the barbershop,

and it was looking
for a haircut,

and I edged it up.
I edge it up tight.

Like, the fade was like,
ah. [air horns blaring]

You know?

I single-handedly ended
the reign of terror,

here in Chicago,
except in Terrortown.

Terrortown--
look, that place is terrifying.

- We're going to get more into
how you caught The Laughter.

But let's go
to the phone lines.

Caller, who this?
Where you calling from?

- [cackling]

- Oh, that's weird.
That's the stuff, huh?

- Freaks come out
at night, baby.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- (DISTORTED, OVER RADIO)
You think

you've locked up The Laughter?
Huh, Gayle?

Well, you didn't.
- All right.

Is this--is this a prank call?
Who is this?

- The question isn't who.
It's did.

- Did did is this?

- We did this.
All of us.

I'm The Laughter leader,
but we're not just one person.

Check out the news
on the North Side.

- Whoa, snap.

Breaking news, The Laughter
is still doing his thing, man.

He just hit a store
on the North Side.

They hit a Everything Borrowed,
Everything Due store.

- Yeah.
- [sighs]

- That's right.

We are Legion,
and we're everywhere.

We're in your city.

♪ ♪

In your government.

♪ ♪

- ♪ In the dark ♪

- In your homes.

♪ ♪

- ♪ Shine a light on me ♪

[air horn blaring]

- We take from the takers
and give to the givers.

- OK, give to the givers?

Give to the--
give to the givers?

[laughs]
OK, I think this person

has a problem with the logic.
[chuckles]

- It works, Allan.
Christ.

- [chuckles]
suit getting

a little tight
on you, ain't it?

- I had a date
at the Wiener's Circle,

and I'm dealing
with some bloating.

- No, I think you have
a problem with The Laughter

because he's still out here...
- Leon...

- Still at large, brother
[air horn blaring]

- Leon, this is
not supposed to be

an adversarial relationship,
my man.

You're supposed
to interview me.

I'm supposed to promote my--
you know, like--

Oh, the album
doing good, bro.

- Yeah.
- The album doing real good.

It's penetrating.
- Yeah, but it's--

- Penetrating right now.
- Not right now, though, man

Because that brother's
on the line.

He's talking crazy to you,
right here on 109.9, WCHI.

[air horn blaring]
- Whatever.

We will hunt you down,
no matter how many of you

there are, all right?
You can't scare us, bro.

We're too real.
You can't scare us.

- Oh, yeah?
302 South Bishop.

- OK?
That--that's an address.

- Third floor.
You have an orange cat.

Purrs when you rub his belly.
- Hang up. Hang up. Hang up.

[air horn blaring]
- Hey, fam.

That ain't what
that button does, man.

♪ ♪

- [laughs]
Faster.

Break a sweat, young nigga.

- Welcome to
the lair of The Laughter.

[laughs]

- Very impressive.

- But, Curtis, y'all didn't
bother getting a new hideout?

- Why?
It's perfect.

Oh, and, Larry,
great job on that futon heist.

- Dude, that really did
give you a big head.

- Oh, shit.

The giant head man is real?

The prophecy
has been fulfilled.

Formation.

♪ ♪

Our great founder
has finally returned.

Huzzah.
all: Huzzah!

- [groans]
Yes, it's me.

I'm here for that
big, sexy piece of evidence

that should have
been thrown away

and destroyed
a long time ago, Curtis!

- I am--
I'm not just him, though.

I am everyone who feels
taken advantage of, and--

- Hey, nigga, hey.
Let it go.

Somebody do some--hey,
hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.

- Ain't no waiting.
- Simon.

You don't want
to hurt me, do you?

I'm your spirit, Simon.

- Oh, hell no.
- Oh, hell yeah.

- Yo, put it back.
- Wait, wait, wait.

- Stop right there,
Romany Malco.

- Funky-ass Herbert
from the currency exchange?

- That's right.

Herbert from
the currency exchange.

Yeah, but I wanted to be you,
Simon James,

so I quit my job.

I started working
at West Side RTO.

- West Side!

- But the way you guys treated
your customers was fucked up.

That's when Curtis
told me about The Laughter.

[cackling]

How that could be our revenge.

I didn't believe him, at first.

But then, one night,
Curtis couldn't sleep.

- Let me just leave
this right here.

- What are you doing?

- I'm putting
this fucking head--

- What are you doing?
That's disrespectful.

I'm telling a story.
- I'm putting the head down.

Fucking--it's heavy.

- That's why
I don't fuck with you.

- Man, you are
long-winded as hell.

- I'm--I'm telling it--
shut up.

- It's hella long, so--
- Shut up.

- Let him finish!
- Like I said,

one night, Curtis couldn't
fucking fall asleep.

- I got insomnia.

- He found himself
in that maze of boxes

we let pile up in the back.
- Interesting.

- When we couldn't find shit,
we just let the customers

go back and search themselves.
We knew it was hopeless.

Some people
got lost back there.

Chester Copperpot.

And that's when he found it,
a remnant of the urban legend.

- Come on, man.
Just say legend.

- And then,
I knew what I must do.

♪ ♪

I must become The Laughter.

[laughs]
Everyone, laugh.

[laughter]

- You guys are corny.

Well, you're worse
than Snitch Jenkins.

I just thought about that.
- Oh, you know Susan, too?

She's really nice.

- You going to eat
or drink something?

So you're still not
going to talk to me, huh?

OK.
Come on, bring it in.

You see, she's got a warrant.
Made a pit stop by your place.

And thank you.

OK, let's get this opened up.

Now, these are all
your save files, right?

- I don't--
I don't play video games.

- You don't?
OK.

Well, somebody put 150 hours
into "Red Dead Redemption."

Oh, and they crafted the
Legends of the East Satchel?

I can probably
just delete this save file.

- So--wait.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, OK.

I don't think you understand.
- No, I don't.

- You have
to collect perfect skins,

which means
you cannot use your gun.

You have to use
a bow and arrow.

I have to creep up
on the animal with a knife.

And then, after you
collect the perfect skins,

you have to craft
every other satchel first.

I just think that whoever
crafted all of those satchels

spent too much time
for you to just...

[chuckles]
Delete it.

- Like that would be bogus
to go on ahead and delete...

- [groans]
- Those.

- [groans]

- And maybe I should give
the island of Tsushima

back to the Mongolians.
- No.

OK, listen.
I'll tell you.

I'll tell you everything.
I will tell you everything.

- Hey, you can't use my head.
Y'all got to make your own.

- We're not going
to make another head.

That would be crazy.
[laughter]

- You won't be using this one.

I'm going to take it
with me because it's my face.

And when the police come
and get all y'all ass,

I won't be here.
- Whoa, whoa.

- Hold on, fellas.

Let's not do anything rash
and destroy

anyone's papier-mâché head.

- Three million people
in Chicago.

Laughter could be
any one of them.

- I didn't want
to say this before,

but I think it's Joan Cusack.

- What?
- Yeah.

- From "School of Rock"?
- Yes.

She used to work
at South Side RTO.

- No, you lying.

- That's where
she dated brothers.

- She date--
- Yes, we did.

- You dated Joan Cusack?
JC?

- She liked to play around
with cute sack

if you know what I mean.
- Oh, that's terrible.

♪ ♪

- What if it's us--

me and you,
stealing and robbing

every night--
and, in the morning, we forget.

I mean, think about it.
We go out, we do our thing.

We just hit houses
and RTO stores,

and then, we come here.
We have a slice of pie.

We laugh, reminisce.

And then, in the morning,
it's like, what happened?

- That's sounds crazy as--
- It's not as crazy--

- What the fuck?

- Shhh.
I'm being followed.

- What?
- I'm being followed...

- Ain't nobody over there.
- By a stranger.

I don't even know
who's following me.

- Down, Lucky.
You're going crazy.

- Oh, no, no, no.

This is not--this is not
like that other time.

- Don't you see, Simon?
The future is ours.

One day, our furniture
give-backs will be worldwide.

Death to predatory lending.
Huzzah!

all: Huzzah.
- Huh-fucking-zah.

K, let's get out of here.
How embarrassing.

- [snaps]
How about a game?

- Man, we don't got
time for your games.

- A feat of strength.
- God damn it.

- Come on, Simon.
Come on, man.

- Pull this shit, nigga.
- He ain't strong, dog.

I ain't worried about it.
This is my head.

- Let this shit go.
[all cheering]

- Ah!

Yeah, I didn't want it anyway.
Huzzah!

all: Huzzah.
- Hey.

- I'm going to need y'all
to part like butt cheeks.

Come on, get out the way.
- Coward.

Nonbelievers.
Dill weed.

- Oh!

- Dude, that's how they say
"your momma" in the suburbs.

- Dill weed?
- Light his ass up.

- You know, I wasn't
going to say anything.

I was just going to leave
with my dignity and this head,

but since you want
to go there,

I'm ashamed
of all you dill weeds, OK?

I started this thing
to make money,

not a fucking charity,
you broke bitches.

Y'all got money?

- Don't listen to him.
We don't need money.

- I'm sorry, bro.
I kind of need some money.

- Hm. Interesting.

Um, how many of y'all
live with your momma?

- Come on.
Keep it 100.

- Put your hands up.
Let's see it.

Oh.
- Keep it 100, man.

Put it up.
- Look at these hands go up.

- A lot of hands.
- A lot like daffodils.

- I mean, my momma
kind of live with me.

Like, my name on the lease,
but she pay rent.

OK, we both do our part.
- Shut up, nigga.

- Yeah, get your ass out.
- How interesting.

I bet you Herbert
lives there, too.

Don't he?
- No, I don't.

- He lives
with his momma, y'all.

He used to be
a customer at RTO,

and him love him momma a lot.

- I--I don't love her
or live with her, OK?

- Yes, you don't.

Absolutely not.
You know why?

Because Herbert lives
with his momma's new boyfriend

in the bathroom
in the basement.

- No, I don't.

- With a wall full of lotion.
That don't even make sense.

[laughter]

- Why are y'all--
stop laughing.

- He got the pump, pump.
- You got the wrong one, chief.

- You're lame, mama's boy.

[laughs]

- [screams]

- Shit.
What are we going to do now?

- I'll tell you what
you're going to do now.

We're gonna make some money.
Call everybody you know.

♪ ♪

- Nobody following you.
Can we get--

- I swear,
they were right there.

- I think
you're paranoid, Allan.

- Feel the hairs
on the back of my neck, man.

I don't even know
what that was about.

- Yeah.
- It's freezing in here.

- There's something
messed up in Chicago tonight.

- Could you guys
turn down the AC a little?

My man is really--
- One cup of coffee, please.

I'm telling you,
it's messed up back there.

- Make a new cup of coffee.
- The streets have eyes.

They have eyes.

I don't know
who's looking at me.

- What happened?

- I always wanted
to be a public figure.

I never wanted to inspire this.
- Oh, sorry!

- [baby crying]
- My bad.

I didn't get them both.

Oh, I got them both.

- Oh!
- Oh!

♪ ♪

- This is
the Laughter leader.

What do you get
when you cross a cop,

an RTO manager
and a politician?

- This is Officer
Alessandro Octavium Goodnight,

and I'm in control.

- Actually--
actually, I'm in charge.

I'm--he's
the second in charge.

- God, you're insufferable.

And you failed, Q.

Soon, RTO will be RT-no-more.
[laughs]

- But you need me
to deliver the furniture

so you can grab it back.

It's a cycle.
- That's accurate.

Guess it's time to meet
face-to-facepaint.

- This is a fire sale.

Everything must go,
or else we'll set it on fire.

[laughs]
- Curtis.

Curtis, come out of there.

Stop playing around.
- Sorry.

- Yeah, we'll just need
to try this out

for at least 20 minutes
to really know.

- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

- Just a quick 20.

And then--again, not to be
a bitch, but no price-matching.

None whatsoever.
- Everybody, freeze.

- Oh, we gotta go.

- That's right.
Oh, no, no, no.

- Where's my cat?

- What the fuck
are y'all doing here?

- The fuck are you doing here?

- Hey, come out of there, sir!
Come out of there!

- I came to get my shit.

- Let's get our shit, then.
- Ah, that's right.

Come on over, boys.

- Anybody back
there better come out now

- Everybody's ass in here,
and don't stop

until they produce
a 2013 Frigidaire

with a convection oven
and a double boiler.

And go.
- Hey, give me the other shit.

- Here, Willie, Willie, Willie.

- Hold on.
Baby, Simon is The Laughter?

- No, don't even think that!
- Hell yeah.

- It even got
his pretty eyes up there.

- I cannot be The Laughter.
- Why not tell me this, baby?

- My own brother?

- It's always an inside job

and the person
you least expect.

One, two.
Gentlemen?

- No.
No, no, no, no, no.

We followed Trell here.
- What?

Trell?
- No.

No, how you follow me here?

Simon, you gave me a shirt
and told me

I could get my job back
if I helped you.

- You can't trust Simon.
- He is not telling...

- You cannot trust Simon.
- The truth, he is lying.

- You've fallen into my trap,
you goof-ass niggas.

Doors, slam shut.
[doors slam]

- Damn, he thought
of everything.

- And now, I will release
a colorless, odorless toxin.

It will attack
your nervous systems

in two minutes.

- Nope.
[people shouting]

- Somebody call the police!

- Everybody out!
- I got 2 minutes to live?

- Follow me
if you want to live!

- Two minutes?

- That's not odorless
or colorless.

That sick fuck.

- God damn it.

I always thought
I'd get hit by a train.

- At least
we going out together.

- Oh, that's the worst part.

- Asshole.

- That's what
you smell like right now.

- [coughs]

[all clamoring for help]

- Make way.

[wall crashing]

- Damn it.

You've gotten out
of my first trap, but--

[siren chirps]
Hello, officer.

- Mama's got you, baby.

[coughs]
We got so many heads to do.

You hang in there.

- I just caught
The Laughter leader.

Threw him in the back
of my car.

- Copy that.
What's your 20?

- I like this.
- What?

- Um, nothing, I was just
talking about my hair.

You know, good hair day.

But I got him.
- Wait, girl.

- He was on I-90,
heading out of town

with a big, empty truck.

All right, well,
I'ma talk to you later.

Yes.

OK, girl.

You did that.

- ♪ I don't have no time
for no enemies ♪

♪ Cut 'em off, fuck 'em all,
zero bad energy ♪

♪ Artist of the century,
fuck with me heavily ♪

♪ Headed for the clean sweep,
pure pedigree ♪

♪ Too many bitches
don't like me ♪

♪ Too many bitches
shook me off like Nike ♪

♪ I could bag it, girl,
in my white T ♪

♪ Make her my sidepiece,
I'm too smooth ♪

- ♪ White ivory ♪

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Sit your ass down,
you a class clown ♪

♪ I'm the teacher,
smoke that reefer ♪

♪ Like Khalifa, uh ♪

♪ You don't like me,
well, that's on you ♪

♪ And I always can proceed
to put the facts on you ♪

♪ I just want to pull up
in a Bentley ♪

♪ ♪

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