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1
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:16,030
Alright, Rigby. Would you rather... Comb your
hair with a hot dog or have feet for hands?
2
00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:17,530
Feet for hands!
3
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:18,770
feet for hands! Run twice as fast.
4
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:20,940
- But how would you play video games?
- Feet for hands!
5
00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:22,670
Your turn, Mordecai.
6
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:28,080
Would you rather live on a houseboat made of
garbage or eat a sandwich in a portable toilet?
7
00:00:28,150 --> 00:00:29,110
Portable toilet.
8
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,010
You'd really do that?
9
00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:32,750
Over a garbage houseboat, obviously.
10
00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:35,420
It'd smell bad, and then the
water would make it smell more.
11
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,370
And then you've just got
a big pile of wet garbage.
12
00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:40,750
So, you're saying you would eat
a sandwich in a portable toilet?
13
00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:41,760
Yes.
14
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,040
Just so happens I've got
my sandwich right here.
15
00:00:45,740 --> 00:00:47,150
And what's that over there?
16
00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:51,140
Oh, time to put your
sandwich where your mouth is!
17
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:52,520
You can't be serious.
18
00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:56,570
What a coincidence. My
sandwich is chicken, too.
19
00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,720
She's got you there, Mordecai.
20
00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:01,210
Are you daring me?
21
00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:03,100
'Cause if you're gonna
dare me, just dare me.
22
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,590
'All right. I dare you.
23
00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,880
So we're just changing games now.
24
00:01:06,950 --> 00:01:09,250
Fine, then.
25
00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:09,950
Wait!
26
00:01:10,410 --> 00:01:12,480
How will we know if you actually do it?
27
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,440
Right. It's not a legitimate
dare without a credible witness.
28
00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:17,280
Fine. I'll be the incredible witness.
29
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,940
So, were you planning
that the whole time, or...
30
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,490
Nah. It was more of an impulse.
31
00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:29,110
Huh. I got to say, this is pretty classy.
32
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,340
I guess if I needed to go
outside, I'd do it here.
33
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,000
So, you're really going through with this?
34
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,070
I can just vouch for you,
you know. It's not big deal.
35
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,170
I'm a man of my word.
36
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,130
So, C.J. And eileen
seem to be getting along.
37
00:01:39,210 --> 00:01:40,090
Yeah, I guess.
38
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,290
"Boy, we have so much in common."
39
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,920
"Would you rather... awkwardly
kiss Mordecai on new year's eve,
40
00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:48,290
Or dare him to eat a sandwich
in a portable toilet?"
41
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,640
Oh, wow! Both?!"
42
00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:51,000
You're done.
43
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:53,930
Easy-peasy, no big deasy!
44
00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:57,080
Great. Let's get out of here.
45
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:00,620
It's stuck.
46
00:02:00,650 --> 00:02:01,900
Dude, that's not funny.
47
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,380
Why would I joke about this?! You
know how I am with small spaces!
48
00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:06,200
Come on, dude.
49
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:07,450
Try and calm down.
50
00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:09,740
Okay. I'm trying.
51
00:02:10,050 --> 00:02:12,050
Calm...
52
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:16,080
Good. C.J. And eileen are right out there.
They'll come and get us any minutes, right?
53
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,320
Uh, Rigby?
54
00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:19,190
Rigby?!
55
00:02:19,260 --> 00:02:20,840
We're gonna starve before they find us!
56
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:23,690
Why'd you eat the whole sandwich?! You
should have saved some just in case!
57
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:25,300
Dude, that makes no sense!
58
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:26,810
You makes no sense!
59
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,360
Help! I'm trapped in
here with a crazy person!
60
00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:33,760
I think the character I
love to hate the most...
61
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:34,840
is king harry.
62
00:02:34,890 --> 00:02:35,950
He's such a pill.
63
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,350
Hey, guys, how's it going in there?
64
00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:43,210
Well, things are going fine.
65
00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:44,180
The sandwich is done.
66
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:46,380
But, uh, now it's kind of...
67
00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:47,850
The door is stuck!
68
00:02:47,850 --> 00:02:48,820
Get us out of here!
69
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,390
Oh, that's terrible.
70
00:02:52,430 --> 00:02:55,530
Do you need some ... oh, what
is the word I'm looking for?
71
00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:57,800
It's on the tip of my tongue.
72
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,410
"Help"?
73
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,490
Oh, yeah... Help or something?
74
00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:02,400
Could you please help us?
75
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,870
I guess we could try.
76
00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:07,870
Oh. It really is stuck.
77
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,860
I knew I should have brought
my keysmith multi-tool today.
78
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:14,280
Never doubt your gut, Eileen.
79
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:15,920
There's some tools in the garage.
80
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,320
All right. Hold tight.
81
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,220
Don't run out of oxygen in there.
82
00:03:20,050 --> 00:03:24,510
I get that you're joking, but actually,
portable toilets are quite well-ventilated.
83
00:03:24,570 --> 00:03:26,090
This thing is brand-new.
84
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:28,120
How did the handle get stuck like... wha...
85
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,030
Oh! What is this stuff?
86
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:31,230
That's meatball gravy.
87
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:33,980
How did meatball gravy
get on the doorknob, Rigby?
88
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,550
I was eating meatballs!
89
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:37,940
You're not supposed to eat
meatballs with your hands, dude.
90
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,270
Hands are nature's forks!
91
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,510
Try the window or something.
92
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,480
I can't even get my
fingers through the holes.
93
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,510
They're like tiny prison bars.
94
00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:49,480
All right. Option 2 ... let's ram the door.
95
00:03:59,850 --> 00:04:01,640
So, what are you doing tonight?
96
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:03,460
I got to house-sit my cousin's dog.
97
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,200
What about you?
98
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:08,960
That on-target 1.2 combination
model's been singing my name all week.
99
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,400
Oh. They finally installed
that new outhouse?
100
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:15,150
Show some respect, bro. It's
called "portable toilet".
101
00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:18,830
Okay. Well, that sounds that sounds
like fun. Have a good weekend.
102
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,040
I will, bro. I will.
103
00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:24,460
I'm yours now, baby.
104
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,200
What?! No! This is not okay.
105
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:32,510
Yeah. It's muscle man. We
got a code 67 over here.
106
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,870
Make sure she gets a good home!
107
00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:46,720
She will! Decommissioned units get sent
to the military for target practice.
108
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,310
That's so honorable!
109
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,450
Alright...
110
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,180
First, we will test the...
111
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:04,100
Eileen! Uh... Second girl.
112
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,700
This is not awkward.
113
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,740
Okay...
114
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,060
I said it's not awkward!
115
00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:15,200
Listen, ladies, I know this model was voted
throne of the year by flush twice quarterly
116
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,180
But you're gonna have to wait your turn.
117
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:19,080
Mordecai and Rigby were locked in here.
118
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:20,380
Do you know where they went?
119
00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:24,820
Uh... Okay. Yep.
120
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,340
Well... This is awkward.
121
00:05:30,180 --> 00:05:31,280
Hello?
122
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,160
Where are you guys?
123
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,260
Let me check.
124
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,980
Try and sit tight. Muscle
man is dealing with it.
125
00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,060
He says he knows a guy.
126
00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,860
Weak. I got the automated system.
127
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,280
For toilet replacement, press "1."
128
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,080
No! Undo replacement.
129
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,360
You have selected toilet replacement.
130
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,420
No!
131
00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:51,440
This is your second replacement today.
132
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,100
Put me through to the military!
133
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,840
Thank you for calling on-target. Goodbye.
134
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,540
It didn't work
135
00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:01,580
Where are you now?
136
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,640
It looks like the moon ...
137
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,680
a horrifying moon of death!
138
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,740
Do you know where that is?
139
00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:10,220
What?
140
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,100
Hold on a second.
141
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,680
Wha? What's happening?
142
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,920
Are you guys all right?
143
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,140
think we're landing.
144
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:21,100
It looks like...
145
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,200
A state fair.
146
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,480
What? No, dude! It's a military base!
147
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,740
How should I know? I've
never been to a military base.
148
00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:30,540
You've never been to a state fair, either.
149
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:32,180
Uh-oh. Okay, ladies.
150
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:33,660
Now, don't go wacko on me,
151
00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:39,020
but sometimes, the military uses
decommissioned toilets for target practice.
152
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:39,740
What?!
153
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:44,980
Yes.
154
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:47,100
Agreed.
155
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:48,140
Will do, sir.
156
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,200
Begin test phase of the f-29
disintegrator laser system.
157
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,460
Permission to speak freely, sir?
158
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:53,900
No.
159
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:55,220
Permission to speak freely, sir?
160
00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:55,840
Granted.
161
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:59,040
Sir, why do we test the satellite
laser on portable toilets, Sir?
162
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,100
Why do we test on portable toilets?!
163
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:03,740
We need to be able to stop the
enemies at a moment's notice.
164
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,460
Enemies and portable toilets
have two things in common ...
165
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:09,380
They're both soulless and
they're about the same size.
166
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:10,900
Can never be too safe, Sir.
167
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,100
You better believe it.
168
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,960
Now, I do not feel like
being intimidated today,
169
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,260
so let's put some
taxpayer money to good use.
170
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,780
Begin laser sequence!
171
00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:27,620
3... 2... 1.
172
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:31,160
Let's drop a laser-guided
number 2 on this turd bucket.
173
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,840
Hurry up and help us!
174
00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,200
You guys got to come quick!
We're gonna die out ...
175
00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:45,920
We lost them!
176
00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:51,720
I'll try and flag them down!
177
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:01,160
What's wrong?
178
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,300
My signals aren't working!
179
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:04,400
No!
180
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,720
Now what do we do?
181
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,100
This is terrible!
182
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,780
Try and keep calm.
183
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,120
Keep calm?!
184
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:14,340
Finally things stop being weird with
Mordecai, and now he's gonna get killed,
185
00:08:14,340 --> 00:08:18,000
and it's all because of some stupid
dare which wasn't even clever.
186
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,480
C.J.!
187
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:22,080
Do you trust me?
188
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:22,940
Yeah.
189
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:24,320
Would you rather
190
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,160
let Mordecai and Rigby get killed
191
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,720
or jump into that portable
toilet and rescue them?
192
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:33,380
That's easy.
193
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,520
I've been trying to open this
for so long, I can't feel my arms.
194
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,140
Thank you, Mordecai!
195
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:45,260
Hey, you didn't have to close the door.
196
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:49,080
Don't put this on me, man! I'm not the
one who flirts by taking toilet dares!
197
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:49,720
Quiet!
198
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,660
Continue testing.
199
00:09:01,660 --> 00:09:02,280
Oh, no.
200
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,100
Uh, permission to speak freely, sir?
201
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:04,520
No.
202
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:05,800
Permission to speak freely, sir?
203
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,300
Granted.
204
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:10,200
Didn't the president say to limit testing
because each blast costs $3 billion?
205
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,060
The president's not my father!
206
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,320
I'll blow up as many toilets as I like!
207
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,900
Now continue testing!
208
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:18,200
How much time do we have?
209
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:20,060
Uh... None!
210
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,360
They got to be here somewhere. Come on!
211
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,060
We need to split up.
212
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,680
Mordecai! Rigby!
213
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:36,000
Thanks, lady!
214
00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:38,660
Any luck?
215
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:39,260
no.
216
00:09:39,260 --> 00:09:40,600
We're right here!
217
00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:45,320
It's still stuck!
218
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,160
Get the tools.
219
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,480
Initiate humongous explosion cycle.
220
00:09:58,700 --> 00:09:59,920
We have to do it together!
221
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,380
On my mark.
222
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,820
3... 2... 1...
223
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,380
Run!
224
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,120
What were you kids thinking?!
225
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:20,180
You're lucky we saw your heat signatures
so we could distinguish you from the debris.
226
00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:22,120
Sir, the president's on the line.
227
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:24,520
Hello?
228
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,460
Thanks for getting us out of there, guys.
229
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,740
Couldn't have done it without you.
230
00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:30,140
Yeah. You guys were hitting
that door pretty hard.
231
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:32,540
C.J. Jumped into a moving helicopter.
232
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:33,640
Wow. Really?
233
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:37,160
Well, you know, more like a portable
toilet being carried by a helicopter.
234
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,100
Ain't no biggie.
235
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:40,780
We'rnot the ones getting
stuck in portable toilets.
236
00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:42,860
Whatever. It was your bet.
237
00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:43,940
Hey, Eileen,
238
00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:46,260
would you rather sit here and be boring
239
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,420
or go play with that space laser?
240
00:10:48,420 --> 00:10:50,360
Space laser!
241
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,880
Hey, could we try this thing out?
242
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,360
Well, I don't see why not.
243
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,660
Wow. C.J.'s pretty cool.
244
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,960
Yeah. She is.
17260
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