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Extracted from MKV & Synchronized By X Person
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Miles.
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Miles?
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00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,810
Wake up, Pudge!
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00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,687
Morning.
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00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,939
‐
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Gotta get a lock on the door.
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Everyone but Alaska
can have a key.
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I have the key
to your heart, Colonel.
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That's all that matters.
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That was so loud,
it hurt my feelings.
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‐ You always sleep
in your clothes?
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00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,369
Pudge has PTSD.
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00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,662
He's afraid he might
get kidnapped
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00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:38,121
in his tighty‐whities again.
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00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,373
‐ I thought he looked cute.
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You're crazier than I thought.
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‐ That was a terrible way
to wake up.
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00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,546
How can I ensure that
that never happens again?
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‐ Nothing you can do.
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00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:57,391
♪ ♪
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00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,978
♪ Right, wrong, what to do ♪
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♪ Someday it will come ♪
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‐ Did I miss an assignment?
25
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,569
‐ Don't worry about it.
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00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,613
♪ Hostile Indians ♪
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00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:15,909
♪ We named a summer camp
for you ♪
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♪ ♪
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‐ Don't worry about it.
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‐ Didn't say a word.
‐ Fine.
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If you must know,
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Sara's debutante ball
is coming up,
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and it's kind of a big deal
at this fancy country club.
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I'm writing term papers
to pay for a new suit.
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I left my Armani at home.
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00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,511
There.
Happy?
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‐ I've never tried
grits before.
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‐ They should just serve
bufriedos 24/7.
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‐ Quickest way to ruin
a good thing.
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‐ I object.
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00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,644
If something is so good,
how could you ever get enough?
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00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,229
Probably a better question
for Jake.
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‐ Apparently Alaska's boyfriend
is a real sexual dynamo.
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‐ You know that would be
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00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,193
complete bufried‐ification,
right?
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00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,821
The girls here would balloon
up to, like, 300 pounds.
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So what if they did?
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They suddenly wouldn't meet
your sexist adolescent fantasy
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00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,702
of what's an acceptable
female form?
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Big is beautiful, Colonel.
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‐ Small is appealing as well.
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‐ Not when it says shit
like that.
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00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:07,294
That's my girlfriend.
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00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,712
Chip.
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00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:09,796
Longwell and Kevin
have something
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00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,131
they'd like to say to you.
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Don't you, guys?
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‐ Look, Colonel, you ratted out
Paul and Marya.
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We retaliated.
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00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,181
‐ We're even now, so truce?
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‐ Take it back.
I'm not the rat.
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00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,392
‐ You wanna say that
to my face,
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00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,186
'cause you're talking
to my sternum.
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‐ Closer to your heart
when I rip it out.
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‐ My God.
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00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,899
You are both so stupid
and so is this war.
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Enough, okay?
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00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,943
‐ I'll make you a deal.
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00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,029
You pick one dead
American president.
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00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,449
If Pudge here doesn't know
his last words, truce.
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00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:40,494
If he does, you spend the rest
of your life lamenting the day
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00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,704
y'all pissed in my shoes.
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00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,498
‐ That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
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00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,916
‐ Your best friend is Kevin.
I doubt it.
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Those are the terms,
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00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,960
otherwise, nuts to your truce.
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00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,754
‐ If you even can name
a president.
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00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:51,880
‐
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00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,465
I summer interned
at the Cater Center
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00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:54,466
sophomore year.
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00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:55,676
Jimmy and Rosalynn have
actually
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00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,968
been to my house for dinner.
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00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,303
They ever been to
your trailer park, Colonel?
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00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,972
‐ The only Carter I acknowledge
is Shawn.
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00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,767
In or out?
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00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:06,436
‐ Fine.
Whatever.
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00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:10,315
‐ Don't blow this, Pudge.
‐ He won't.
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00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,776
All right.
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00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,194
Millard Fillmore.
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00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,988
‐ Shit.
Was that guy even president?
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00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,327
♪ ♪
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‐ Um...when, um,
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00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:31,086
former president
Millard Fillmore was dying...
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00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:36,717
He was‐‐he was really hungry,
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00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:40,554
but his doctor was trying
to starve the fever.
96
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,225
Fillmore wouldn't shut up
about food,
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00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:49,771
so the doctor gave him
a tiny tablespoon of soup.
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00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:54,025
And all sarcastic,
Fillmore said,
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"The nourishment is palatable,"
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00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,448
and then he died.
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00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,285
No truce.
‐!
102
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,162
Why would you try and drown
this man?
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00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:07,038
He's a goddamn genius.
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00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,582
Yeah!
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00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,959
‐
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00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:16,465
‐ Pudge, that was your first
truly badass moment.
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00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:20,093
When this war is over,
there may not be any survivors.
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00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,596
Goddamn, this is gonna be good.
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‐
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♪ I've got nothing to hide ♪
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00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:29,561
♪ I wish I wasn't so shy ♪
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00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,952
‐
Um, how did you do that,
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00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,039
knowing the last words
of dead people?
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00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:53,376
‐ Um...
I guess I just used to have
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00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,669
a lot of free time.
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00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,756
I mean,
Fillmore was pretty easy.
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00:04:57,756 --> 00:05:00,717
I'm just glad he didn't pick
Franklin Pierce.
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00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,677
No one knows his last words.
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00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:03,845
How come?
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00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,263
‐ I guess he died alone.
121
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:07,557
‐ That's sad.
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00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:14,689
We are all interconnected.
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00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:20,028
It's the true nature
of all beings.
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00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,531
At least, that's what
the Buddhists believe.
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00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:28,662
You, me,
his Holiness the Dalai Lama...
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00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:33,458
we all exist only in connection
to those around us.
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00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,002
Buddhists see the world
as an intricate web
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00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,296
of relationships to others.
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00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,800
They create communities
of practitioners
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00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,929
called sanghas,
who work collectively to attain
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00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:50,183
peace, happiness, and wisdom.
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00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:54,187
The only way to realize
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00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,856
true awakening...
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00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:03,196
♪ ♪
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00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,241
Mr. Halter.
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00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:10,579
The hope is that this class
will be your sangha,
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00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:13,164
bringing you enlightenment,
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00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,959
though apparently not today.
139
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,003
And here I am straining
my one remaining lung
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00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,421
for your edification,
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00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,922
and you've found
something outside
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00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,800
that captures your fancy
even more.
143
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,262
What have you discovered
out there?
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00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:29,598
‐
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00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,142
I was, um...
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00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:36,897
looking at the‐‐the trees
and‐‐and the‐‐the forest,
147
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:40,317
and I was just thinking
about how it's all connected.
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00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,904
You said‐‐sorry, I'm...
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00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,656
‐ I'm going to ask you
to leave the class, Mr. Halter,
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00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,199
so you can go out there
and discover
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00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,451
the relationship between
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00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:54,164
the "um, trees"
and the "forest."
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00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:58,752
‐ Wait...
you're kicking me out?
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00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,170
‐ Good‐bye.
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00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,844
‐ This has never
happened before.
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00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:10,221
‐ Pudge, those better not
be tears I see.
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00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,015
‐ Shit is looking moist.
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00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,560
‐ I'm sorry,
but that's bullshit.
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00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,895
You can't just throw him
out of class.
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00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,146
You drone on and on
every day,
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00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,731
and we can't even glance out
the window?
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00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,692
‐ Now you both may leave.
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00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,402
Now, to continue,
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00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:27,155
the only way to realize
true awakening
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00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,908
is by living in a way
that emphasizes
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00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:33,286
our connections
and relationships to others.
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00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:40,001
♪ ♪
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00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:44,464
‐ Oldest trick in the book,
but everybody falls for it.
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00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,841
Aww.
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00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:48,134
Let me guess.
171
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,928
Before today,
all your teachers were
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00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,389
card‐carrying members
of the Miles Halter fan club.
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00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:55,976
‐ Well, I never made cards,
but yeah.
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00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,104
‐ I need a smoke.
175
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,566
And then,
so his last words were:
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00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:07,195
"I go to seek a Great Perhaps."
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00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,614
‐ He was a French poet?
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00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,282
Any good?
179
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:14,119
‐ I never read him,
just his biography‐‐
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00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:17,706
well, the end of it.
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00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,542
‐ "Great Perhaps."
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00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,794
I like it.
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00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:28,216
It's just ambiguous enough,
unquantifiable.
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00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:32,303
Kind of magical,
hell of a metaphor.
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00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:35,432
It's also a pretentious way
of saying you wanna get laid,
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00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:38,309
but I don't need a dead
French poet to tell me that.
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00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,356
You know what your problem is?
‐
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00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,358
‐ You claim you want
this Great Perhaps,
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00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,693
but you're still afraid
to upset
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00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,779
your teachers and parents.
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00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:53,324
‐ Some might say
that's a good quality.
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00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:56,995
‐ Life's about disappointing
those in charge of us.
193
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,329
I learned that a long time ago.
194
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,666
Well, look who decided
to show up.
195
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,043
Thanks so much for the support
back there.
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00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,878
‐ You're never gonna win
by crossing Hyde.
197
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,380
He'll eat you alive
and piss you out slowly
198
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,631
through a catheter.
199
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,800
‐ I have no quarrel
with the old bastard.
200
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,177
He never accused me
of being a rat,
201
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:15,055
but those that have must pay.
202
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,058
We need a preemptive strike.
First, fast, hard.
203
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,643
Pudge, if you wanna walk away,
now's the time.
204
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:21,644
‐ What?
205
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,106
Why would I do that?
206
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,399
‐ You're still an innocent.
207
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,734
‐ Shit's about to get real.
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00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,235
‐ Hell of a lot realer
than getting kicked out
209
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,612
of some dumbass class.
210
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:31,613
‐ They don't think
you're ready.
211
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,822
I was afraid of that.
212
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,115
We're trying to protect you.
213
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,575
If you get caught,
you're on your own.
214
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,994
‐ Look, we do this
because we hate
215
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,413
what the Weekday Warriors
stand for.
216
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,082
We'll risk everything
to beat 'em.
217
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,291
‐ What are you willing to risk?
218
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,004
♪ ♪
219
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,964
‐ Seriously?
220
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:53,259
♪ ♪
221
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,845
What about my life?
222
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,223
You remember how I was thrown
in the lake,
223
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,350
or did you forget about that?
224
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,602
And did you know
that the Weekday Warriors tried
225
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,688
to recruit me
in fucking Mandarin?
226
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,775
That's right, I could be
living the Weekday Warrior life
227
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:14,614
right now, but I said no.
228
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:19,577
Because I'm a part of this
sangha, whatever it's called.
229
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:23,414
I'm with you all until the end.
230
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,210
‐ Sounds good to me.
231
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,170
‐ Pretty damn convincing.
232
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,589
‐ You're in, Pudge.
233
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,718
‐ Was that a test?
‐ Everything's a test here.
234
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,846
‐ And you passed.
235
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,056
Your dead French poet
would be proud.
236
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,850
Free for a study date
after school?
237
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,560
I'll drive.
238
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,313
♪ I don't know
what you heard about me ♪
239
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,400
♪ But a bitch can't get
a dollar out of me ♪
240
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,027
♪ No Cadillac, no perms,
you can't see ♪
241
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,572
♪ That I'm a motherfucking
P‐I‐M‐P ♪
242
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,533
♪ I don't know
what you heard about me ♪
243
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,952
♪ But a bitch can't get
a dollar out of me ♪
244
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,913
♪ No Cadillac, no perms,
you can't see ♪
245
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,291
♪ That I'm a motherfucking
P‐I‐M‐P ♪
246
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,667
♪ I don't know what ♪
247
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,960
‐ What the hell is that smell?
248
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,172
‐ It's my dad's cologne.
249
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,048
He said to use it
for special occasions.
250
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,175
Do you think it's too much?
251
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,885
It's me, Chip.
252
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,553
I hope I'm not interrupting
you two
253
00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:20,430
jerking each other off.
254
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:24,100
‐ Hey, Sara.
Nice to see you again.
255
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,811
‐ We need to talk.
256
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:27,896
Alone.
257
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,900
What the hell is that smell?
258
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,735
‐ Pudge has a special occasion.
259
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,195
‐ Which I should be off to.
260
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,821
Gonna try to air out
on the way.
261
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,823
Bye.
262
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:43,620
‐ Are you writing term papers
for money?
263
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,955
‐ How could you accuse me
of such a thing?
264
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,584
‐ Chip, do you know how much
trouble you could get into?
265
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:52,503
‐ It's fine.
266
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,048
I've been trading all of
my superior intellect for cash,
267
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,634
but only to assist
the dumbest among us.
268
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,094
‐ You wanna be the next one
to get expelled?
269
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,555
‐
270
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,349
Your debutante ball
is coming up,
271
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,725
and I gotta look sharp
272
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,810
when I'm walking across
that stage as your escort.
273
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,479
‐ As what?
274
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,106
‐ The debutante's date
is called an escort.
275
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,275
Did a little research.
276
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:18,321
‐ Chip... no.
277
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:22,325
No, shit, listen.
278
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,661
You're not gonna be my escort.
279
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,745
‐
280
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,330
What do you mean?
I'm your boyfriend.
281
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:31,209
Yeah, but that's
now how it works, Chip.
282
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,669
In order to be an escort,
283
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,338
your family needs to be
a member of the country club.
284
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,927
Longwell's my escort.
285
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,763
It's all been arranged, and...
286
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,056
‐ What?
287
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,475
‐ Y‐y‐you know
he and I grew up together.
288
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:48,643
‐ Why did you even invite me?
289
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,687
‐ Because, Chip,
it's important to me.
290
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,313
You're important to me.
291
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,731
And I'm sorry,
but these things,
292
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,108
they have rules
and regulations.
293
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,651
‐ I get it.
294
00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,528
I've been getting it
my whole life.
295
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:01,990
‐ So that's it?
296
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,283
That's it?
You're just not gonna go?
297
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,867
- ‐ Is that what you want?
- No, asshole.
298
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:06,160
It's not what I want.
299
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,954
If it was, I just would have
never invited you.
300
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,959
‐ Of course I'm coming.
301
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,962
It's a big deal for you.
302
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,380
I wouldn't miss it.
303
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,510
‐ Thank you for understanding.
304
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:29,600
‐ Plus, there are
certain privileges I have
305
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,145
that Longwell never will.
306
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,149
Seriously?
307
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,483
We have one nice moment,
308
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,360
and you're using it to try
and get some action?
309
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,445
Oof.
310
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,335
♪ Go, go, go ♪
311
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,836
♪ ♪
312
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,796
‐ Hey, Pudge.
Jump in.
313
00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,964
There's no seat belt
for you there,
314
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:00,965
'cause Lara's there.
315
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,216
Lara, Miles.
Miles, Lara.
316
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,259
You two remember each other,
right?
317
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,469
Hi.
318
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,720
Do you mind sitting on his lap?
319
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,013
- He can be your seat belt.
- If he doesn't mind.
320
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,473
He doesn't.
‐ I don't.
321
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,974
Okay.
322
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,185
Kids, meet Blue Citrus.
323
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,936
So named 'cause she's a lemon.
324
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,563
Jesus and Takumi
are my copilots.
325
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:16,981
It's an honor, ma'am.
326
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,232
‐
Shit.
327
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,693
Sorry, keys just digging
into my leg.
328
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,236
Here we go.
‐ Okay.
329
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,322
‐
330
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,823
Are you from Florida?
331
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,866
‐ Yeah.
332
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,785
‐
333
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,453
‐ You're from‐‐
um, you're from Russia.
334
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,288
‐ Romania.
335
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,248
Right, of course.
336
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,960
♪ What game is it ♪
337
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,087
‐
338
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,632
So, Pudge,
you know that girl
339
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,967
from the pre‐calc study session
last night, Lara?
340
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,095
Soft voice, says "thees,"
not "this"?
341
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,555
‐ Yeah, she sat on my lap
in the car.
342
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:53,476
‐ Yes, my idea, which paid off,
because she liked you.
343
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,312
You thought
she was discussing pre‐calc,
344
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,606
when she was clearly talking
about having hot sex with you.
345
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,149
‐ Might be
an overstatement.
346
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,610
Y'all talking
about that Lara girl?
347
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,778
She's got great breasts.
348
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,988
Colonel, do not objectify
women's bodies.
349
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:06,989
Sorry.
350
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,157
Perky breasts.
351
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,951
- ‐ Not any better.
- Sure it is.
352
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:13,454
Great is a judgment.
Perky is merely an observation.
353
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:14,914
Well, here's another one.
354
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,500
You only view the world
through your limited male gaze.
355
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,127
There's so much
you're missing, Colonel.
356
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:23,256
‐ But he does look damn good
in that suit.
357
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,140
♪ ♪
358
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,558
‐ Not too late to return it.
359
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,935
The tags are still on,
money back guaranteed.
360
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,353
‐ And why would I do that?
361
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:39,105
‐ So many reasons.
362
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,189
You could use that cash
363
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:41,941
for a down payment
on a computer
364
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,942
so you don't have to use
the shitty one
365
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,026
the school loans out.
366
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,486
Or you can give it to me,
367
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,905
so I can finally fix
the air conditioning in my car,
368
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,323
which you will also enjoy.
369
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,242
‐ You know what else I enjoy?
370
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,327
Compliments about my style.
371
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,788
Pudge, I didn't get one
from you.
372
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,666
‐ You look really nice.
373
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,836
‐ Made my choice, Alaska.
374
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,296
‐ The wrong choice.
375
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,256
This debutante shit,
it's‐‐it's paternalistic.
376
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,549
It's misogynistic.
377
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,301
It's literally the epitome
of white privilege‐‐
378
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,094
‐ Says the attractive
white woman.
379
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,429
‐ I'm white trash.
They hate me too.
380
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,473
Those rich white idiots,
they're not gonna accept you
381
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,640
no matter what you wear‐‐
382
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,976
‐ Jesus.
Do you have to ruin everything?
383
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,396
I'm going for Sara.
That's it.
384
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,023
End of discussion.
385
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,027
‐ He may be little,
but he is fierce.
386
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,699
‐ Hey, Pudge,
if you got anything black,
387
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:32,783
wear it tonight.
388
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,827
‐ Why?
389
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,372
‐ Because it's slimming,
and stealthy.
390
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,084
Tonight, we strike back.
391
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,794
♪ Ha‐ha‐ha‐ha‐ha! ♪
392
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,171
♪ Feel good ♪
393
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,048
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
394
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,424
♪ Feel good ♪
395
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,718
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
396
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,136
♪ Feel good ♪
397
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,138
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
398
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,515
♪ Feel good ♪
399
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,433
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
400
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,018
♪ Feel good ♪
401
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,811
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
402
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:01,854
Come on, Pudge.
403
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,231
Let's lift, man.
Let's go, come on.
404
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:04,440
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
405
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,816
♪ Feel good ♪
406
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,985
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
407
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,529
♪ Feel good ♪
408
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,447
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
409
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,490
♪ Feel good ♪
410
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:13,658
♪ City's breaking down ♪
411
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,618
♪ On a camel's back ♪
412
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,746
♪ They'll just have to go,
'cause they don't know wack ♪
413
00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,623
♪ So all you fill the streets ♪
414
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,874
♪ It's appealing to see ♪
415
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,125
Damn those guys!
416
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,795
♪ 'Cause you're damned
and free ♪
417
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,381
♪ You got a new horizon,
it's ephemeral style ♪
418
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,802
♪ A melancholy town
where we never smile ♪
419
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,097
♪ And all I wanna hear
is the message beep ♪
420
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,848
♪ My dreams,
they come a‐kissing ♪
421
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,892
♪ 'Cause I don't
get sleep, no ♪
422
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,019
- Looks like they got him.
- My God!
423
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,774
♪ Windmill, windmill
for the land ♪
424
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:50,444
♪ Turn forever hand in hand ♪
425
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:53,739
♪ Windmill, windmill
for the land ♪
426
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,534
♪ Is everybody in ♪
427
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:01,747
♪ Laughing gas these hazmats ♪
428
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:02,873
♪ Fast cats ♪
429
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,333
♪ Lining 'em up
like ass cracks ♪
430
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,835
♪ Lay these ponies
at the track ♪
431
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,670
♪ It's my chocolate attack ♪
432
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,630
♪ Shit, I'm stepping in hotter
this year ♪
433
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,215
♪ Care Bear repping,
it harder this year ♪
434
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,883
♪ Watch me as I gravitate ♪
435
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,594
♪ Ha‐ha‐ha‐ha‐ha ♪
436
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,595
♪ Yo, we gon' ghost town ♪
437
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,846
Let's go.
438
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,180
♪ You in the blink ♪
439
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,640
♪ Gon' bite the dust,
can't fight with us ♪
440
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,183
‐ Hoo‐hoo!
Hot damn.
441
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:24,020
I didn't think you guys
could look any more handsome.
442
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,355
‐ Asshole.
My escort has blue hair now.
443
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,565
You're welcome, Holly.
444
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,900
I'm sure the photos
are gonna look fantastic.
445
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,778
Yeah, man, you really got us.
446
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,364
‐ No crying
in your protein shakes.
447
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,908
‐ You win, Colonel.
We submit.
448
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,206
‐ Hey,
I can't find my keys.
449
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,416
You haven't seen 'em anywhere?
450
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:47,335
Mr. Martin, Mr. Halter.
451
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:48,711
I'm not sure if you are aware,
452
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,630
but there has been an outbreak
of pranks on campus.
453
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,048
I hope you two are staying out
of trouble.
454
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:53,299
‐ Absolutely, sir.
455
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,761
I really hope you apprehend
those hooligans.
456
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,805
‐ Okay.
457
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,224
- See something, say something.
- We will.
458
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,893
♪ Sha, sha‐ba‐sha, ka, sha‐ba ♪
459
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,227
♪ Feel good ♪
460
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,230
♪ Ha‐ha‐ha‐ha‐ha ♪
461
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,074
We have to show no mercy.
462
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:19,659
A prank that ends the war,
that destroys their lives.
463
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,827
Or at least their tuxedos.
464
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:22,995
‐ No.
465
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,080
Colonel,
just as a point of pride‐‐
466
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,581
‐ I said no.
467
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,209
Sara's deb ball is off limits.
468
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,294
It's too important to her.
469
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:32,046
You just worked so hard
for that suit.
470
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:33,923
‐ It doesn't matter.
471
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,091
I have a few dollars left.
472
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,385
If I write two papers
overnight...
473
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,597
‐ I have a little l‐left
in my commissary account
474
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,807
I can easily get out.
475
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,392
Look, I can front you the cash.
476
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:45,726
Just one phone call
to my parents‐‐
477
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,437
‐ I don't want anything
from anybody.
478
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:52,692
‐ Good, because I sadly have
no cash to contribute.
479
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,819
Though I can offer
my impeccable fashion sense.
480
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,112
‐ Meaning?
481
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,863
You can't afford
Men's Wearhouse anymore,
482
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,825
but you can afford
the Pelham thrift shop.
483
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,035
Of which I am a loyal customer.
I can help you get something.
484
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,995
‐ You don't even want me to go.
485
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,289
But I love
a good thrift shop excursion.
486
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,545
Colonel, it's gonna be okay.
487
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,338
It's all gonna work out.
488
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,972
Longwell and Kevin
are the worst.
489
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,516
I wish they'd just choke
on their stupid protein shakes.
490
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:31,188
‐ Takumi,
you are a goddamn genius.
491
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,984
‐ No argument here, but why?
492
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:42,658
♪ All day, all night ♪
493
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,828
♪ I love to be in charge ♪
494
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:49,957
‐ Oof, sure hope your plumbing
starts working again.
495
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:52,585
‐ Yeah.
496
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:57,465
♪ You'll be my fall guy ♪
497
00:20:57,465 --> 00:20:59,467
♪ Your love ♪
498
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,137
♪ Your love ♪
499
00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:07,475
♪ You're standing in the cold ♪
500
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,060
♪ And your love ♪
501
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,480
♪ Your love ♪
502
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,400
♪ You will not speak of ♪
503
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,238
♪ ♪
504
00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:24,074
‐ Shit.
Shit.
505
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,618
I'm sorry.
506
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,828
♪ ♪
507
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:30,080
♪ Scarecrow ♪
508
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,541
♪ The bed ♪
509
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:36,962
♪ Until we had a nightmare ♪
510
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:42,009
Cheers.
511
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:45,012
- ‐ To a good night.
- And protein.
512
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,639
‐ I'm starving.
513
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:53,270
♪ ♪
514
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,943
‐ Last chance to come
to your senses.
515
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:00,528
‐ We've been through this.
516
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:01,821
‐ I know.
517
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,948
I'm just trying to stop you
from getting hurt.
518
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,616
‐ It's about Sara.
519
00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:06,909
You don't give her
enough credit
520
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:08,786
for going against her tribe
to date me.
521
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,454
‐ First of all,
she's lucky as hell
522
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,331
you're willing to date her.
523
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,416
And honestly, Chip,
she kinda hates you.
524
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,668
‐
525
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,878
She does.
526
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:21,215
But she also kinda loves me.
527
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,758
And I'm gonna show her
I'm just as good
528
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,094
as any Weekday Warrior.
529
00:22:25,094 --> 00:22:26,762
Can't you understand that?
530
00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,140
‐ I can't.
531
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,145
But I do love you all the same,
532
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:37,815
and you do look damn fine
in that suit, my friend.
533
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:46,073
♪ ♪
534
00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,951
‐ Thank you for everything.
535
00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:52,621
See you back at school.
536
00:22:54,123 --> 00:23:01,088
♪ ♪
537
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:13,517
♪ ♪
538
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:22,526
♪ ♪
539
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,120
Aww.
540
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,248
Don't you two look cozy
in there.
541
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,043
All right,
who's up for some fun?
542
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:53,474
♪ ♪
543
00:23:57,478 --> 00:23:59,688
Chip.
544
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:00,898
You made it.
545
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:02,566
‐ Sara will be so pleased
you're here.
546
00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:04,860
‐ Absolutely,
and let me just say
547
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:07,947
this place is truly majestic.
548
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,866
The bartender told me that
the ice cubes in the iced tea
549
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:14,411
are also made of iced tea.
550
00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:17,915
Makes for
a very concentrated brew.
551
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:19,208
‐ Well, we appreciate you
being here.
552
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:22,503
‐ Well, if you need me,
I'll be at table 12.
553
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:27,967
‐ See, Preston,
it was a good idea.
554
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,802
Everything's gonna be
just fine.
555
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:34,682
‐
Hi, ladies.
556
00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:35,683
Tell me I'm not late.
557
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:37,267
Father would never forgive me,
558
00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:39,645
and after all, you know, todayis more about our daddies
559
00:24:39,645 --> 00:24:40,688
than us girls.
560
00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:41,897
Toodles.
561
00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:44,566
‐ Hey, Holly,
have you seen my lip gloss?
562
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,530
You okay?
563
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:51,865
‐ I don't think so.
564
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,037
♪ ♪
565
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,791
♪ ♪
566
00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:07,339
‐ I'm like a motherfucking cat.
567
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,091
♪ Well, is it true ♪
568
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,718
I'm really
not feeling well, okay?
569
00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:13,721
But Holly, dear,
you may miss being presented.
570
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:15,014
‐ I heard you, Mother,
but I do not have a choice
571
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,098
at the moment.
572
00:25:16,098 --> 00:25:17,224
And I don't need an escort
for this.
573
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:18,559
Go.
574
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,768
I told you not to eat
anything today.
575
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:21,145
That dress isn't built
for bloat.
576
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,688
I didn't, just one
of Kevin's protein shakes.
577
00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,690
Now get out.
It's an emergency.
578
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:28,152
♪ See the idiot talk ♪
579
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:30,195
♪ See the idiot
chalk up his name ♪
580
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:31,447
‐ That was close.
581
00:25:31,447 --> 00:25:33,115
‐ Which means that stuff
is fast‐acting.
582
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:34,575
‐ So are we.
583
00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:36,827
♪ ♪
584
00:25:40,164 --> 00:25:41,498
Beautiful.
585
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:42,624
As many as these fancy dinners
586
00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:44,877
as I attend, I always forget.
587
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:49,173
Is the bread plate
to my left or yours?
588
00:25:49,173 --> 00:25:51,300
‐ Why are you sitting
at the kids' table?
589
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:53,635
You're not a kid.
590
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,971
‐ And you, sir, are very rude.
591
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:59,892
And for that, I will be
eating my roll and yours.
592
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:02,311
‐ That was mine.
593
00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:03,896
They just called Justin.
594
00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:04,897
You're up next.
595
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:06,482
I am not feeling well.
596
00:26:06,482 --> 00:26:07,900
You're not the only one.
597
00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,611
‐ Dude, come on.
598
00:26:10,611 --> 00:26:12,488
‐ Actually, that was me.
599
00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:18,160
I ain't going out there.
600
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,661
My grandma's here.
601
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:23,082
No, no, no.
602
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,209
It's happening.
No!
603
00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:28,170
♪ See the robot walk ♪
604
00:26:28,170 --> 00:26:31,048
♪ See the robot talk ♪
605
00:26:31,048 --> 00:26:33,342
♪ Still you never learned
nothing ♪
606
00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:34,426
♪ And nothing isn't over ♪
607
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,928
What?
608
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,054
Shit!
No!
609
00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:39,306
Plastic wrap!
No!
610
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:40,432
‐ So, we lost our exit.
611
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:41,517
Holly's still in there,
612
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:42,559
and it's not
a pretty situation.
613
00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:43,644
Shit.
614
00:26:43,644 --> 00:26:44,645
We have to find
another way out.
615
00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:45,854
This way.
616
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:49,608
Lindsay Bryan,
who is escorted by
617
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,652
Hanna Sullivan.
618
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:56,115
There's no backtracking now.
619
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,658
All our exits
have been compromised.
620
00:26:57,658 --> 00:27:00,202
Peggy Donovan...
621
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:01,328
The only way out is through
622
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:02,538
the belly of the beast.
623
00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:04,206
‐ So we're stuck here.
624
00:27:04,206 --> 00:27:06,875
Presenting
Sara Bankhead Harbert.
625
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:15,092
‐ Whoo!
626
00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:17,761
To be escorted
by Longwell Chase.
627
00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:26,186
Doesn't she look lovely?
628
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:29,648
We just need her escort,
Longwell Chase.
629
00:27:31,942 --> 00:27:34,778
- ‐ Where are the boys?
- This is unusual.
630
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:36,113
- ‐
- Find them.
631
00:27:36,113 --> 00:27:37,906
My God,
it's in my shoes!
632
00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:39,366
Colonel's fucking dead!
633
00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:41,869
‐ We need an escort
for the escort.
634
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:48,458
‐ Well, apparently,
Longwell is no longer able
635
00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,794
to fulfill his duties today.
636
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:54,339
Perhaps we have a volunteer
who would like to step in.
637
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:08,228
♪ ♪
638
00:28:18,238 --> 00:28:20,699
‐ Thank you, son,
but I got it from here.
639
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:22,868
‐ Sir, with all due respect,
640
00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:25,287
doesn't it make the most sense
for her boyfriend
641
00:28:25,287 --> 00:28:26,830
to be her escort?
642
00:28:26,830 --> 00:28:28,874
‐ Chip, you wanted to be here,
we bought you a seat.
643
00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:30,209
You should take it.
644
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:32,628
‐ I wanted to be here
because I'm her boyfriend,
645
00:28:32,628 --> 00:28:34,254
and that makes me
more qualified
646
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:36,298
than that human hemorrhoid
Longwell Chase.
647
00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:39,551
No offense, Dr. Chase.
648
00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:40,969
‐ You're trying my patience,
649
00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:42,679
so I'm just gonna go ahead
and say it.
650
00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:45,098
There's no world in which
you escort my daughter
651
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:46,683
across that stage tonight.
652
00:28:46,683 --> 00:28:49,228
Now, sit down.
It's a family matter.
653
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:58,237
♪ ♪
654
00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:01,573
What a lovely
father‐daughter moment.
655
00:29:06,203 --> 00:29:09,623
And that concludes
our escort presentation.
656
00:29:09,623 --> 00:29:12,668
The debutantes will now join
their escorts on the floor
657
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:14,294
for a waltz.
658
00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:21,969
♪ ♪
659
00:29:21,969 --> 00:29:23,303
Teams are on it.
660
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:24,388
The country club
661
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:25,931
has been infiltrated
by pranksters.
662
00:29:25,931 --> 00:29:27,266
You‐‐you get your guys!
663
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:29,643
You get your guys.
664
00:29:29,643 --> 00:29:31,853
‐ Shit.
We gotta go.
665
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:35,399
♪ ♪
666
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:36,817
‐ I just walked
the south entrance.
667
00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:38,318
I didn't see anything.
668
00:29:40,362 --> 00:29:45,575
♪ ♪
669
00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:46,994
‐
Help us.
670
00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:53,959
♪ ♪
671
00:30:07,389 --> 00:30:08,390
‐
672
00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:13,770
‐ My God.
673
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:43,592
♪ ♪
674
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:50,766
‐ Should have known.
675
00:30:50,766 --> 00:30:55,771
You ruined cotillion, asshole.
676
00:30:55,771 --> 00:30:58,148
‐ One could argue
that it's always been rotten.
677
00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:01,568
‐
You sound like Alaska.
678
00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:03,779
‐ I've been called worse.
679
00:31:03,779 --> 00:31:05,322
‐ Yeah.
680
00:31:05,322 --> 00:31:08,367
It was pretty funny,
681
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:10,160
but you're still an asshole.
682
00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:16,333
‐ Thanks, dick.
683
00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:19,169
‐
684
00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:26,176
♪ ♪
685
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:47,572
A toast
to one of the great pranks
686
00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:49,533
in Culver Creek history.
687
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:50,826
‐ Hopefully,
those Weekday Warriors learned
688
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:54,121
a valuable lesson today:
look before you squat.
689
00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:55,330
‐ I don't think I'll be able
to get their screams
690
00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:56,331
out of my ears.
691
00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:57,374
To success.
692
00:31:57,374 --> 00:31:59,000
Indeed.
693
00:32:12,055 --> 00:32:13,890
‐ I believe I was pretty
goddamn clear
694
00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:16,893
that this event was off limits,
and all of you defied me.
695
00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,770
You broke the chain of command.
696
00:32:22,607 --> 00:32:26,611
But never have I been so glad
697
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,113
to have my orders ignored.
698
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:30,407
That was some funny shit.
699
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,367
And I'm not just referring
to what they had to hose off
700
00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:33,535
the Weekday Warriors.
701
00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:36,705
That was definitely
the nicest place
702
00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,665
I've ever almost burned down.
703
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:44,296
‐ You're too good for them
anyway, Colonel.
704
00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:45,881
Hell, you're too good
for Birmingham,
705
00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:47,716
for all of Alabama.
706
00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:50,260
Some folks describe me
as a visionary‐‐
707
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:51,553
‐ I'm pretty sure
that's self‐proclaimed.
708
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:55,098
‐ Because I see
the big picture.
709
00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,558
And here's what I see.
710
00:32:56,558 --> 00:33:00,228
We're all gonna get out of here
and do great things,
711
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:03,106
but the Colonel is destined
for the greatest.
712
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:05,233
‐ No kidding.
713
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:07,736
Don't come asking
for handouts when I make it.
714
00:33:07,736 --> 00:33:08,737
I'm serious.
715
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,114
Shit, hide.
716
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,908
‐ Good evening.
717
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:14,868
Everybody enjoying
their Saturday night?
718
00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,957
Mr. Halter, I just wanted
to check and make sure
719
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:22,250
that you could make it
back into your room
720
00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:24,920
since you seem to be
missing these.
721
00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:34,346
Keep up, Mr. Halter.
722
00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:41,478
To the right.
723
00:33:41,478 --> 00:33:42,562
God damn it.
724
00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:43,855
How could he have been
so sloppy?
725
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,148
Turns out
Pudge's choice of key chain
726
00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:46,900
was unfortunate
on a number of levels.
727
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:48,235
‐ Not sure
that's what matters here.
728
00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:49,778
Disagree.
You know what they say.
729
00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:51,905
Never trust a man with a need
to draw attention to his keys.
730
00:33:51,905 --> 00:33:53,532
‐ I'm certain no one's
ever said that before.
731
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,908
It was a rough translation.
732
00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:56,826
‐ I'm surprised to hear
that you're doubting Pudge.
733
00:33:56,826 --> 00:33:58,453
Was he not a pivotal part
of one of the greatest
734
00:33:58,453 --> 00:34:01,039
counterinsurgencies ever
carried out on foreign soil?
735
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,541
He was
the least coordinated
736
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,292
and expressed the most doubt...
737
00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:08,588
But he was a key
to its success.
738
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:09,631
Pun intended.
739
00:34:09,631 --> 00:34:10,882
This is true.
740
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,801
And he did just face off
against some explosive
741
00:34:12,801 --> 00:34:13,969
and deadly assholes.
742
00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:15,470
All puns intended.
743
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,305
‐ Wordplay while our friend's
future hangs in the balance?
744
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,266
‐ Look, I wish I shared
your confidence
745
00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:20,767
in his ability to withstand
the Eagle,
746
00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:23,353
but what do we really know
about Miles Halter?
747
00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,021
Other than the fairly
damning fact
748
00:34:25,021 --> 00:34:26,940
that he's from Florida.
749
00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:28,942
‐ There is one thing I know
about Pudge Halter
750
00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:30,652
that makes me think
he'll keep his mouth shut.
751
00:34:30,652 --> 00:34:32,529
Yeah.
752
00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:34,573
Good point.
753
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:36,199
‐ Well, what's that?
754
00:34:40,704 --> 00:34:42,289
The Sunshine State.
755
00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:43,999
I like that you have
so much pride in your home,
756
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:46,459
Mr. Halter.
757
00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:49,004
‐ I just got it for, like, 99¢
758
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,672
with the purchase
of a Slim Jim.
759
00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:51,756
‐ But surely
you must miss Florida.
760
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:53,049
No, not really.
761
00:34:53,049 --> 00:34:55,260
I mean,
if my parents moved tomorrow,
762
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:56,720
I'd happily never go back.
763
00:34:56,720 --> 00:34:58,680
‐ Well, then, let's hope
you don't have to return there
764
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,098
any time soon.
765
00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:03,018
‐ Noted, sir.
Thank you.
766
00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:05,854
Do you know
where you are, Mr. Halter?
767
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:09,733
You are in my home where
we can speak in confidence.
768
00:35:10,942 --> 00:35:14,571
Actually,
it belongs to the school.
769
00:35:14,571 --> 00:35:17,907
‐ I see, and are you
renovating the place
770
00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:19,868
or you just move in?
771
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:22,662
‐ No.
772
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,917
If you must know,
my wife is moving out.
773
00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:32,130
Well, she already moved out.
Quite hastily, if you ask me.
774
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:33,465
She sure didn't.
775
00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:35,175
‐ I‐I didn't mean to pry.
776
00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:37,886
‐ No, we were only together
for 13 years.
777
00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:41,056
You know, it'll be fine.
778
00:35:41,056 --> 00:35:45,769
I mean... eventually so.
779
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:46,936
But the good news is,
780
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:50,190
I have more time
to focus on my job.
781
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:53,735
Now, as you may already know,
782
00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:56,446
there have been a spate
of pranks at Culver Creek,
783
00:35:56,446 --> 00:35:57,947
all clearly related.
784
00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:01,409
Now, the bad news for you is
that you are the only student
785
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,244
that I can connect
to these pranks.
786
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:06,998
Which means the full weight
of the punishment
787
00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:10,794
for all of them will fall
squarely onto your shoulders,
788
00:36:10,794 --> 00:36:14,923
unless you and I can come to
789
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:17,634
some sort of a deal.
790
00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:19,511
‐ You mean, you want me to rat?
791
00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:20,512
‐ No.
792
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,392
I see it did not take long
for you to get indoctrinated.
793
00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:26,559
That's not a surprise
794
00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:28,645
given that Mr. Martin
is your roommate.
795
00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:32,107
"Snitches get stitches,"
as the kids say.
796
00:36:32,107 --> 00:36:34,484
But here's one
you may not have heard.
797
00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:37,237
"All that is necessary
for the triumph of evil
798
00:36:37,237 --> 00:36:38,738
is that good men do nothing."
799
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:42,659
If you acted alone,
800
00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:44,160
then you can just confess
to all of it,
801
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,579
and this matter will be put
before the jury.
802
00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:49,082
‐ The‐‐the jury?
803
00:36:49,082 --> 00:36:50,583
It's a panel of your peers.
804
00:36:50,583 --> 00:36:52,127
Students with
a deep appreciation
805
00:36:52,127 --> 00:36:53,670
for Culver Creek's rules.
806
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,839
You can avoid the uncertainty
of a trial
807
00:36:55,839 --> 00:36:57,882
and receive
a far more lenient sentence
808
00:36:57,882 --> 00:37:02,345
by simply telling me
everything that you know.
809
00:37:02,345 --> 00:37:03,847
That choice is yours.
810
00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:13,314
♪ ♪
811
00:37:18,653 --> 00:37:21,823
So, convicted murderer
James French
812
00:37:21,823 --> 00:37:24,868
was sentenced
to the electric chair.
813
00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:27,620
To witnesses of his execution,
814
00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,956
he yelled these last words:
815
00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:33,501
"Hey, fellas, how's this
for tomorrow's headline:
816
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:36,671
'French Fries.'"
817
00:37:36,671 --> 00:37:38,423
Yeah, it's a terrible joke,
818
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,593
but I always admired
that he kept his wits about him
819
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:45,013
in the face of such
dire circumstances.
820
00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:46,848
‐ Pudge, what the fuck
are you talking about?
821
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:50,977
‐ I didn't tell him anything.
822
00:37:52,562 --> 00:37:54,689
It wasn't easy.
823
00:37:54,689 --> 00:37:57,692
He is a scary man.
824
00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,736
The Eagle
is a sadistic son of a bitch,
825
00:37:59,736 --> 00:38:01,696
all right.
826
00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:02,947
I'm impressed.
827
00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:05,658
- ‐ And I'm surprised.
- I'm not.
828
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:07,410
I'm proud of you, Pudge.
829
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:09,037
Another badass moment.
830
00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:12,624
You better slow down, Pudge.
You may actually become cool.
831
00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:16,503
‐ So, the Eagle
just let you go?
832
00:38:16,503 --> 00:38:18,379
‐ I wish.
833
00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:20,799
I have a hearing
in front of the jury.
834
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:23,384
Goddamn.
835
00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:25,595
That jury is composed
of Culver Creek's
836
00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:26,805
tightest sphincters.
837
00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:28,473
‐ Well, it was nice
knowing you, Pudge.
838
00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:30,558
‐ Everyone stay calm.
839
00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:32,435
You can never give up hope
in the eternal struggle
840
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,729
of the good versus the naughty.
841
00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:36,064
You may lose a battle,
842
00:38:36,064 --> 00:38:38,191
but mischief always wins
the war.
843
00:38:41,194 --> 00:38:48,201
♪ ♪
844
00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:58,169
‐ No.
No, no, no.
845
00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,546
Absolutely not.
846
00:38:59,546 --> 00:39:02,257
This room is reserved
for jurors and the accused.
847
00:39:02,257 --> 00:39:04,425
I get‐‐and obviously me.
848
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,386
♪ ♪
849
00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:09,806
♪ Inspired by you ♪
850
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,184
‐ Have a seat.
851
00:39:25,822 --> 00:39:27,073
You may now address the jury.
852
00:39:33,621 --> 00:39:37,125
‐ Dear esteemed
fellow classmates
853
00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:40,003
and the Honorable
Mr. Starnes,
854
00:39:40,003 --> 00:39:45,425
I come today to throw myself
before the mercy of the court.
855
00:39:45,425 --> 00:39:47,427
As disappointed
as you may be in me,
856
00:39:47,427 --> 00:39:50,388
it pales in comparison
to the disappointment
857
00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:52,140
I feel with myself.
858
00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:55,143
Wow,
you ladies look slender.
859
00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:56,352
Lost any weight?
860
00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:58,062
‐ The only weight
I'm gonna lose is you,
861
00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:00,148
'cause you're dead weight,
and you're dead.
862
00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:01,399
Hold up.
863
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:04,402
I need to think about that one
for a second.
864
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:06,279
‐ I think we can all agree
what happened at the club
865
00:40:06,279 --> 00:40:07,322
went too far.
866
00:40:07,322 --> 00:40:08,698
‐ What happened at the club?
867
00:40:08,698 --> 00:40:10,199
‐ No idea, not a member.
868
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,368
‐ You shouldn't be lecturing
anyone about going too far.
869
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:15,580
‐ Fine.
870
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:18,416
Maybe we took it too far
dumping Halter in the lake.
871
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:21,252
And the Colonel's suit.
872
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,670
‐ We didn't know
it was his only one.
873
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:23,922
‐ That sounded
dangerously close
874
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:24,923
to an apology.
875
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,299
‐ Not close enough.
876
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:30,219
‐ Right now, one of yours
is in front of the jury,
877
00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:32,138
and the Eagle's on the warpath.
878
00:40:32,138 --> 00:40:34,390
We may never know
who the rat was...
879
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:35,767
‐
Colonel.
880
00:40:37,894 --> 00:40:40,730
‐ But we can all agree
we need to turn down the heat.
881
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,315
Now, we'll stop looking
for the rat
882
00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:46,319
if you stop retaliating,
for real.
883
00:40:46,319 --> 00:40:47,779
Truce?
884
00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:52,700
‐ Who knows
that there even was a rat?
885
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:54,744
The Eagle could have
just gotten lucky, and‐‐
886
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:57,163
‐ Truce.
887
00:40:57,163 --> 00:40:59,165
Peace be with you, Longwell.
888
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,300
‐ So, you're just
making decisions
889
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:11,094
without even consulting us now?
890
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,887
‐ I'm‐‐I'm sorry.
891
00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:14,222
Was I unaware
that you recently bought
892
00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:16,140
a winning lotto ticket?
893
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,517
Unlike those assholes,
894
00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:20,228
we still need our scholarship
money to stay here.
895
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:21,479
And I don't know
about you boys,
896
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:23,398
but planning and executing
these elaborate
897
00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:27,360
albeit brilliant pranks
is not really enhancing my GPA.
898
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,322
It's over.
We won.
899
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:32,865
‐ We haven't won yet.
900
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,826
Mr. Halter, please rise.
901
00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:40,039
The jury has heard
your testimony
902
00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:42,291
and has deliberated the facts
presented to them,
903
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:44,627
and they have come
to a decision.
904
00:41:44,627 --> 00:41:46,170
Ms. Rowinksi.
905
00:41:48,673 --> 00:41:50,133
‐ Given this is a first offense
906
00:41:50,133 --> 00:41:51,759
and the fact
that no other students
907
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:53,428
have filed complaints
against you,
908
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:55,596
not to mention
your clear remorse,
909
00:41:55,596 --> 00:41:57,640
we have decided on a sentencing
910
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,768
of two weeks cafeteria
cleanup duty,
911
00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:02,937
mostly for the offense
of buying
912
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:04,230
that hideous key chain.
913
00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:11,070
‐ To the rest of the jury,
914
00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:13,322
do you agree
with this sentence?
915
00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:16,200
‐ Yes.
916
00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:19,120
‐ Very well.
917
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,247
You can report to Maureen
in the cafeteria.
918
00:42:21,247 --> 00:42:22,832
She'll show you
where the hairnets are.
919
00:42:22,832 --> 00:42:25,126
I do hope you enjoy
the smell of wet sponges.
920
00:42:25,126 --> 00:42:28,421
And Mr. Halter, please remember
that the next time
921
00:42:28,421 --> 00:42:29,589
you are in front of the jury,
922
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:30,923
you will not be
a first‐time offender,
923
00:42:30,923 --> 00:42:34,302
so consider your actions
carefully.
924
00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:37,555
‐ I got off
with a slap on the wrist.
925
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,932
I mean, I wasn't sure
how it was gonna go.
926
00:42:39,932 --> 00:42:42,310
But I really spoke
from the heart,
927
00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:44,562
and I think
the jury connected with it.
928
00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:49,108
‐ Look at him,
so proud of himself.
929
00:42:49,108 --> 00:42:50,735
‐ I almost don't even
wanna tell him.
930
00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:53,404
‐ Then don't.
Just let him have this.
931
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:54,989
‐
932
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:57,075
Have‐‐have‐‐have what?
What's going on?
933
00:42:57,075 --> 00:43:00,453
‐ I'm sure the jury let you off
because of your stirring words
934
00:43:00,453 --> 00:43:02,038
and those puppy dog eyes,
935
00:43:02,038 --> 00:43:03,748
but probably doesn't hurt
936
00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:05,374
that I'll be writing
free term papers
937
00:43:05,374 --> 00:43:06,501
for jurors two and five.
938
00:43:06,501 --> 00:43:08,336
‐ Or that I agreed
to teach juror one
939
00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:09,629
how to master "Halo 2"
940
00:43:09,629 --> 00:43:11,672
and provide
all relevant cheat codes.
941
00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:13,841
‐ And I promised
juror number seven
942
00:43:13,841 --> 00:43:16,302
you'd go on a date with her,
Lara.
943
00:43:16,302 --> 00:43:18,137
You might remember her
from our study group.
944
00:43:18,137 --> 00:43:22,892
‐ Or her great breasts‐‐
perky breasts.
945
00:43:22,892 --> 00:43:25,061
‐ You guys tampered
with the jury on my behalf?
946
00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:26,938
Tell me they read
the part about your key chain.
947
00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:29,398
It cost me extra,
but I just couldn't resist.
948
00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:32,026
I told you, Pudge.
You're one of us now.
949
00:43:32,026 --> 00:43:33,402
Don't start crying,
950
00:43:33,402 --> 00:43:35,363
'cause you'll ruin everything.
951
00:43:38,366 --> 00:43:44,831
♪ ♪
952
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:50,002
‐ Well, this is disappointing.
953
00:43:50,002 --> 00:43:57,009
♪ ♪
954
00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:04,142
The trees with their branches,
955
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,102
the brancheswith their leaves,
956
00:44:06,102 --> 00:44:09,313
the tall grass that grows
in its shade,
957
00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:11,858
all on display
out that very window.
958
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,285
‐ I'm sorry, sir.
959
00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:25,955
I always pay attention
in class.
960
00:44:25,955 --> 00:44:27,373
It won't happen again.
961
00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:28,791
‐
962
00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:30,918
So you are to never stare
at another window
963
00:44:30,918 --> 00:44:32,670
for the rest of your days?
964
00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:36,048
That's very sad news.
965
00:44:38,384 --> 00:44:39,468
‐...
966
00:44:41,846 --> 00:44:45,266
Apologies, but...
967
00:44:45,266 --> 00:44:48,269
I don't understand
what you want me to say.
968
00:44:48,269 --> 00:44:49,312
Good.
969
00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:55,902
Stop thinking about
what's the right answer,
970
00:44:55,902 --> 00:44:57,820
what you think I want to hear.
971
00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:02,575
I don't want any thinking
from you whatsoever.
972
00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:08,289
I just want you to be.
973
00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,582
‐ Are you sure?
974
00:45:09,582 --> 00:45:12,668
Life only exists now.
975
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:14,837
Time spent on the future
or the past
976
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,006
is done at your own risk.
977
00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:19,091
Be present in this class.
978
00:45:19,091 --> 00:45:22,136
And when it's over,
be present out there.
979
00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:24,013
‐ ♪ My rhyme's old‐school ♪
980
00:45:24,013 --> 00:45:25,389
♪ Sort of like
the ancient Romans ♪
981
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,391
♪ Colonel's beats are sav
like Arthur Miller's ♪
982
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:28,643
It's the only way
983
00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:30,811
to actually connectwith others,
984
00:45:30,811 --> 00:45:33,314
to see them as they truly are.
985
00:45:36,317 --> 00:45:43,324
♪ ♪
986
00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:53,918
‐ Why do you smoke
so damn fast?
987
00:45:53,918 --> 00:46:00,925
♪ ♪
988
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:07,598
‐ Y'all smoke to enjoy it.
989
00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:09,350
I smoke to die.
990
00:46:09,374 --> 00:46:34,374
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