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1
00:00:01,392 --> 00:00:04,134
BULLOCK:
In the sprawling dark of night,
2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:09,835
when all is still...
that's when it can be heard--
3
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,489
The Hum...
4
00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:14,231
- [droning hum]
- ...a ceaseless, enigmatic tone,
5
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:20,411
heard only by a gifted few,
its origin unknown.
6
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:23,501
- Electromagnetic energy?
- [thunder rumbling]
7
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:26,113
Alien transmission?
8
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:31,161
Perhaps the echoes of some
distant alternate dimension.
9
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:36,514
Perhaps even the sound
of our very doom.
10
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,516
- [humming continues]
- If you ask me...
11
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,779
I don't care.
12
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:44,348
Because I prefer the hum...
13
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,524
[engine revs, tires screech]
14
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:50,180
...of my tricked-out IROC Z28!
15
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,487
- ♪ Unskinny bop
- Whoo-hoo!
16
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:55,142
- ♪ Just blows me away
- Whoo-hoo!
17
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,883
BULLOCK:
Enjoy the show, my babies!
18
00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,711
♪ All night and day
19
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,539
♪
20
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:04,760
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
21
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,241
[droning hum,
insects chirping]
22
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,938
[chewing noisily]
23
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,722
Steve, I'm gonna tell you
the same thing
24
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,898
I said to Jackie Collins
that one time--
25
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:15,988
No writing at the table
on barbecue chicken night.
26
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,903
Sorry.
I'm just trying to decide
27
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,210
which school work-study program
to choose.
28
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,212
It's either apprentice
under weatherman
29
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,910
Memphis Stormfront
at Channel 3 News
30
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,304
or Buckle at his urology clinic.
31
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:30,220
Sounds like either way you're
gonna be dealing with drips.
32
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:31,743
- Pa-dum, shh!
- [gasps]
33
00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:34,311
But which one guarantees me
a good grade?
34
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:37,575
Which one is certain to put me
on the path to success?
35
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:41,753
Oh, Steve, no one knows for
certain what the future holds.
36
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,929
I just don't want to end up
being one of those losers
37
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,583
who lives with their parents
as an adult.
38
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,237
- Hey!
- Sorry. No, no.
39
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:50,240
W-What I mean is I don't want to
be one of those poor dopes
40
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,243
who lives their whole, sad life
in the town they grew up in.
41
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,592
- Hey!
- So what,
42
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,680
you're too good for us now?
43
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,987
No! I love you guys!
I do!
44
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:02,296
It's just... I guess I've always
seen more for myself than,
45
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,906
you know... this.
46
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,125
- Hm.
- Hm.
47
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,517
I feel ya, Steve.
48
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,128
Big dreamers
like you and me,
49
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,173
we got to spread
our golden wings.
50
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:13,220
One day, we hit that open road
and never look back.
51
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:17,354
Actually, Dad,
when I say "this"...
52
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,660
that includes you.
53
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,314
[gasps]
Roger, quick!
54
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:22,968
Bring the fainting divan!
55
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:24,840
Sorry, Stan.
Already in use.
56
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,235
'Cause one of my personas just
received some shocking news.
57
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,237
Everybody look the other way
for a second.
58
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:33,283
- No.
- I already changed anyway.
59
00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:36,417
Walt Whipman,
whip-crack session musician.
60
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,027
I provide the whip-crack sounds
61
00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:40,421
for the many kinds of music
that require them--
62
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:42,727
Rawhide-style
TV Western themes,
63
00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,426
Devo cover bands,
and the list goes on and on.
64
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:47,906
Unfortunately, I earned
something of a reputation
65
00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:50,300
back in the day
for heavy drinking, shaky hands,
66
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:53,608
and always accidentally whipping
my fellow musicians in the face.
67
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,828
Anyway, I just heard
my old musician pal Roscoe
68
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,048
is now a big-shot producer
in Nashville,
69
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:02,965
which obviously means
that it is... comeback time!
70
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,663
Why is there an ice cream scoop
in my whip holster?
71
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:08,536
Can we please get back
to my real problem here?
72
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:11,191
Which one of these work-studies
is the right choice?
73
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,018
Oh, now you're looking
for advice
74
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,324
from your
horrible family?
75
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,630
Seriously.
76
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,458
Just flip a coin,
why don't you?
77
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,677
[sighs]
Maybe that's all I can do.
78
00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,897
Does anybody else
hear that hum?
79
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,899
Well,
here goes nothing...
80
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:30,688
Looks like I'll be taking
my talents to Channel 3.
81
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,647
Great, okay, whatever. Now...
82
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:35,911
who's coming with me
on my journey of redemption?
83
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,088
[Cellphone buzzes, chimes]
84
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,350
Look...
85
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:41,656
Up.
86
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:44,136
Pack your shit.
We're going to Nashville.
87
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:50,099
And over there is our star
anchor, Greg Corbin.
88
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:51,709
Oh, we're
actually neighbors.
89
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,407
Hi, Mr. Corbin!
90
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,324
Me, though,
I'm an open book.
91
00:03:57,324 --> 00:04:00,196
You wanna know anything
about me, just ask.
92
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,329
Well, one thing
I have always wondered...
93
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,983
Is Memphis Stormfront
your real name?
94
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:06,811
[chuckles] Oh my, no.
95
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,944
I sure would've been
a born weatherman
96
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,468
if my name was really
Memphis Stormfront.
97
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:12,991
So what is
your real name?
98
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,428
Toledo Tornado.
99
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,734
I changed it so no one
would find out I'm...
100
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:17,996
[whispers]...Italian.
101
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,650
Now whaddya
wanna see next?
102
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,043
Oh, how about
the Doppler?
103
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,654
- The Doppler?
- Yeah, the Doppler 12,000.
104
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,134
It's up on
the roof, righ--?
105
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,440
Who told you about
the Doppler?
106
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,355
The... announcer
107
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,574
at the beginning
of every news broadcas--
108
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,968
I don't have time right now.
It's actually pretty boring.
109
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:35,057
It's a safety hazard.
The Doppler's off-limits.
110
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:38,756
So just get the hell off
my back about it, okay?
111
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:40,192
- Don't mind him.
- Ahh!
112
00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:42,064
He's weird about
that Doppler.
113
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,326
Oh, hey.
114
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,632
W--What's your name?
115
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,460
Gassup E. Piye.
["gossipy p.a."]
116
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:50,072
- French-Danish...?
- No.
117
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,900
Memphis has been
on edge lately.
118
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:55,382
Probably because his forecast
accuracy has been way down.
119
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:58,559
And he knows
he's on thin ice.
120
00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,038
Poor Memphis.
121
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:02,214
More like poor you!
122
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:05,957
Because if Memphis gets the axe,
so does your work-study program.
123
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,785
[cellphone rings]
124
00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,178
And it's too late to switch
to Buckle's urology clinic,
125
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,963
because Barry already
took that spot.
126
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,662
That's right.
I'm aware of Barry!
127
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,054
Buh-byeeeeeeeee.
128
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,317
Ahh! Stairs!
[clattering]
129
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,014
Ow! Ooh!
130
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,363
Oh! Ow! Ernngh!
131
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,712
That's gotta hurt.
132
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:23,627
Get away from me!
133
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,107
And now we turn to
the weather.
134
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,326
What've you got for us,
Memph?
135
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,589
Cold, Greg, and lots of it.
136
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:31,461
Perfect conditions
for tomorrow's first ever
137
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:34,812
Langley Classic
Outdoor Hockey Invitational.
138
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:39,556
So pack an extra set of clamps,
'cause it's gonna be nippy.
139
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:45,823
The entire starting lineup
of the Roanoke Ice Wasps
140
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:49,174
is dead because
of your faulty forecast!
141
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:52,917
And I had thirty bucks
on that game, Toledo.
142
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,832
Mannaggia dio!
143
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:58,662
The late, great Dickie Dobbins
never had this kind of trouble.
144
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:01,404
Using the very same
Doppler as you, I might add.
145
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,927
You leave the Doppler
out of this!
146
00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:06,148
You screw up just one
more time, and you'll be--
147
00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:08,150
Does anyone else hear
that humming sound?
148
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:10,326
No? Nobody?
149
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,023
Out on your ass!
150
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,677
Ha-cha!
151
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,679
You're gonna fire me,
old man?
152
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:18,160
Well how 'bout
I wick-ah wick-ah!
153
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,204
How 'bout that?
154
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:21,424
Mr. Stormfront,
do you think
155
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:24,035
after all these
wrong forecasts,
156
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:26,037
maybe we should
check out the Doppler
157
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,387
to make sure
it's working right?
158
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,779
The Doppler is fine!
159
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:30,041
Hey, check this out.
160
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,216
Roundhouse!
161
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,044
Ooh! Ow.
162
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,699
It's just, I really don't want
to lose this work-study--
163
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,048
Shhh.
164
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,094
Iss's lissning!
165
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:44,926
[slurring] Stay away from
the Bloppler, kid.
166
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:47,581
Stay... away...
167
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,453
Screw this.
I'm checking it out.
168
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,547
The Doppler's not
even plugged in
169
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,897
to the station's
computer system.
170
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:01,986
He hasn't been using it at all.
171
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:12,562
All right,
nothing too out of the...
172
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,303
[gasp!]
173
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:18,263
♪
174
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:21,266
- [baby cries]
- [applause]
175
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:24,095
Oh, my God.
176
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,489
That thing doesn't
forecast the weather.
177
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:27,838
It shows...
178
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,449
the future.
179
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,754
Then again,
I'm pretty sure I saw
180
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,452
Snot winning Prom King
in there,
181
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,019
so maybe it's just
a bunch of random B.S.
182
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:37,979
Sure, it was all just part
of a cruel prank
183
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,676
planned by
the popular kids--
184
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,636
and, I have reason to believe,
some of the teachers--
185
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:46,466
but I'm still just
absolutely over the moon!
186
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,771
[thump!]
187
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:52,602
♪
188
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:56,127
MEMPHIS: Stay away from
the Bloppler, kid.
189
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,694
What could be so dangerous
190
00:07:57,694 --> 00:08:01,176
about takin' a little peep
into the ol' futuro?
191
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:05,093
♪
192
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,139
Wh-- is this...
193
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,577
the mayor's mansion?
194
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,535
This is...
195
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:15,886
tomorrow.
196
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,758
Delilah, darling!
197
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,629
I have grand news!
198
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:23,067
The Sharks are going
to the championship!
199
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,548
The game was such a rout
that I left early and--
200
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,767
What??
201
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,333
Coach Trey?
202
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,597
My best friend?!
203
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,599
Jimmy, it's not
what it looks like!
204
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,557
We're not just resting
in bed together.
205
00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:38,822
Until a few seconds ago
we were having sex, too.
206
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,651
You'll pay for this,
cuckolder!
207
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,435
Just bear with me one sec.
208
00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:44,741
DELILAH: Jimmuh!
Jimmuh, baybuh, please.
209
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,309
- Stop and think!
- Oh, Jimmuh, baybuh.
210
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,702
- It didn't mean nothin'!
- Please!
211
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:50,181
Look at my neck,
it's pleading with you!
212
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,574
Baby, we can talk
about this, Jimmuh!
213
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,010
You don't wanna do this,
Jimmy!
214
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,838
- [overlapping pleading]
- [screams]
215
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:57,537
[gunshot]
216
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,886
Oh, my God!
217
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:01,236
I have to do something!
218
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:04,848
Incredible tip on that
playoff blowout, Steve.
219
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,502
That's just the kind of thing
that can earn a boy
220
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,810
an A-plus on his work-study,
if you catch my meaning.
221
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,681
Wink!
222
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,378
Wink, wink, wink!
223
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:15,859
[western music playing]
224
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:19,167
Roscoe, thank you so much
for agreeing to meet me here.
225
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,995
I...didn't.
226
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,736
You and your...
227
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,085
boyfriend?
228
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,608
Followed me in here.
229
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,392
Well, you're looking great,
I'll tell you that.
230
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,569
Except for that...
yuck, on your face.
231
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,700
What happened there?
232
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,703
You whipped me,
many years ago--
233
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,749
Oh, God, I was hoping
not to talk shop,
234
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,402
but since
you brought it up,
235
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:40,362
I'm guessing you've seen my ad
in the country music trades?
236
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,669
Dammit. That's supposed to
say "whip crack."
237
00:09:42,669 --> 00:09:44,888
Well, I was pretty drunk
when I ordered the ad.
238
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:46,411
But I've cleaned up
since then,
239
00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:49,545
and now I'm totally sober
and ready to lick crack.
240
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,025
You know what I mean.
241
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,114
Listen, Walt, now I am
about to record
242
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,377
a new Rawhide-style
TV Western theme,
243
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:58,293
and am in desperate
need of a whip man,
244
00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:02,297
but it's just...
all those faces you whipped.
245
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:04,734
Now you listen to me,
Race Car.
246
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:07,128
You have to give
this man another shot.
247
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,783
Without second chances,
where would any of us be?
248
00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:13,264
Didn't America give the South
a second chance
249
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,788
after the Civil War?
250
00:10:14,788 --> 00:10:17,660
Sure, that one turned out
to be a huge mistake,
251
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:22,099
but the point still stands,
and that point is...
252
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,797
Something about Roger?
253
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,102
Walt.
254
00:10:25,102 --> 00:10:26,408
Whipman.
255
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:27,931
Whipcrack session musician.
256
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:31,631
All right,
I'll give you one shot.
257
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,808
Say, you fellas hear that
strange kinda humming sound?
258
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,461
No.
259
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:37,985
Here, would you mind covering
your face up with this napkin?
260
00:10:39,508 --> 00:10:41,292
♪
261
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,817
Day after day, just
one hot sports tip
262
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,688
and news scoop
after another.
263
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,472
And now I'm rich!
264
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,300
Rich as Sir Topham Hatt!
265
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,520
How do you do it, Steven?
266
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,914
Heh.
J--Just lucky, I guess.
267
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:57,004
Here. Help yourself to
a Todd McFarlane figurine.
268
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,049
Oh, don't mind if I d-- ohhh.
269
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:05,316
♪
270
00:11:05,316 --> 00:11:08,102
Are you all right?
271
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,974
Yeah, just a little...
272
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,541
black ooze.
273
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,238
[snorts]
274
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:18,765
MEMPHIS: You've been using it,
haven't you?
275
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,983
[gasp!]
276
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,029
Haven't you?
277
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:25,423
Do you have any idea what forces
you're tampering with?
278
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,817
Forces of good...?
279
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:30,254
Why do you think I stopped
using the damn thing?
280
00:11:30,254 --> 00:11:32,517
Well, you'll soon find out
for yourself
281
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:36,391
what it is to be both terrified
and enthralled by it,
282
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:39,350
to despise and desire it.
283
00:11:39,350 --> 00:11:43,615
You inside of it
and it inside of you.
284
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:46,357
I gotta go.
285
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:49,099
Oh, Mommy, oh, Mommy, oh, Mommy.
Here I come, Mommy!
286
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:52,320
And now our very own
Memphis Stormfront
287
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,756
joins us with a look
at the weekend weather.
288
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:54,888
Memph?
289
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:58,369
Not all that is old
was once young.
290
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:02,199
Not all that's forgotten
is gone.
291
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:07,335
The nameless one,
dreaming of fire, but slumbers,
292
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:11,948
to awaken some cursed,
blood-wrought dawn.
293
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,036
[chuckles]
294
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,342
Sounds like it's gonna be
a hot one.
295
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:15,952
Stay kooky, Memphis.
296
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:19,782
Okay, clearly I should not be
tampering with that Doppler.
297
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:20,914
Well, yeah.
298
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:23,830
Besides, I'm pretty sure
I've got that A
299
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,832
on my work-study
locked up already,
300
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:30,575
so I am never using
the Doppler again.
301
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,534
Right after one teensy
little look-see
302
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:35,493
to make sure it's an A-plus.
303
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:40,411
♪
304
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:42,022
[screaming]
305
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,024
[roar!]
306
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:47,897
♪
307
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,595
Oh, God, my family!
308
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,380
No!
309
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,338
Noooooooo!
310
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:56,253
Do you mind?
311
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:58,473
Are you
enjoying the show?
312
00:12:58,473 --> 00:13:00,344
[whistling]
313
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:04,784
No, God, nooooo!
314
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,092
Listen to me! Please!
315
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,790
Something terrible is coming!
316
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,618
Oh, more terrible
than your family?
317
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:16,099
I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings, okay?
318
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:19,276
But some kind of monster
is coming,
319
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,148
and it's gonna
kill us all!
320
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,802
[whistles]
321
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,629
Please!
322
00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:27,197
We have to get out of here
and try to find someplace safe!
323
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,287
Ahh!
324
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,898
[door slams]
325
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,904
He's gotta have something here
that explains the Doppler,
326
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:41,124
that monster, all of it.
327
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,431
Pornography,
pornography...
328
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,912
creepy ancient scroll, pornography...
329
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,479
Wait a minute!
330
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:52,353
Wow, an interview
with Adrien Brody.
331
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:54,442
I'll just save this
for later.
332
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,096
Wait a minute!
333
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,663
A creepy ancient scroll!
334
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,317
My pornography!
335
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:02,102
And scroll.
336
00:14:02,102 --> 00:14:03,712
Ahh!
337
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,888
Mr. Stormfront!
Please, no!
338
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,498
Ahh!
339
00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:08,935
[sighs]
340
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:12,677
God, how I wish he'd never
left me that damned orb.
341
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:15,332
What is the Doppler, really?
342
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,465
It isn't a Doppler at all.
343
00:14:17,465 --> 00:14:20,250
It's some kind of ancient
alien instrument
344
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:23,906
that Dickie Dobbins found buried
deep beneath the Mojave Desert.
345
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,996
It gave him the ability
to see the future--
346
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:30,086
the power
of absolute certainty.
347
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,567
Mm, yeah, man's desire
for certainty.
348
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:33,960
Been kind of a theme lately.
349
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,701
But in the end...
it killed him.
350
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,921
Are you sure he didn't
just die of being...
351
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,662
you know, super old?
352
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,707
He was 32!
353
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,927
But that's what the thing
does to you.
354
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:47,756
Decays you.
Twists your soul.
355
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:51,978
So much so that some even
come to want to summon...
356
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,545
The creature.
What is it?
357
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:59,028
It's a being so terrifying, it's
impossible to even describe.
358
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:03,554
Face of an eel,
arms like giant squids,
359
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:08,559
classic dragon's body,
six wobbly baby giraffe legs,
360
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:13,216
standing an immeasurable
3,097 feet tall!
361
00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:14,565
It is...
362
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:17,917
B'thazalom,
the Nameless One!
363
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,181
The Nameless One's name
is B'thazalom?
364
00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:24,401
Please don't be a dick
about this, okay?
365
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:25,750
Oh, my God.
366
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:28,188
The Doppler
and the monster...
367
00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,754
B'thazalom
the Nameless.
368
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,061
Uh-huh.
They're linked.
369
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:35,717
The Doppler has been sending out
these vibrations to it,
370
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,023
waking it up.
371
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,415
I'm impressed.
372
00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:39,808
You're scroll-reading
at a twelfth-grade level.
373
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:43,681
So the only way to make
certain it stays buried
374
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,988
is to destroy the Doppler.
375
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,164
Roger sure would've been
handy to have around
376
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,079
for all this cosmic crap.
377
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,603
He better be doing
something really important.
378
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,866
[western music playing]
379
00:15:57,695 --> 00:16:00,437
♪ Racin', pacin', chasin'
380
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:03,005
♪ Make those dogies hasten
381
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,268
♪ Though your chaps
are chafin' ♪
382
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,488
♪ Gotta bring those
heifers home ♪
383
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:18,325
♪ Cow driiive
384
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:19,804
♪ Take 'em in,
turn 'em out ♪
385
00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:21,110
♪ Round 'em up,
rub 'em down ♪
386
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,416
♪ Take it off,
make 'em shout ♪
387
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,460
♪ Bring a friend,
go to town ♪
388
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:33,644
♪ Cow driiiiiiiiii...
389
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,995
[mooing]
390
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,301
♪...iiiiive
391
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:39,520
Whip crack!
392
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,870
- Oh, crap!
- Damn it!
393
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:45,004
All right, just download an mp3
of a whip and let's go home.
394
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,223
Wait, no, I can do this!
395
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,529
[screams]
396
00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:50,139
[whip cracking, screaming]
397
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:51,401
[moo!]
398
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:54,361
Ahh!
399
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,408
♪
400
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,932
[grunting]
401
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,586
Ahh!
402
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,675
It's defending itself,
Steve!
403
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:08,331
Blasting your mind with the most
horrible things imaginable!
404
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,507
Ahh!
405
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:13,423
♪
406
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:14,685
Ahh!
407
00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:16,470
[creak!]
408
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:19,255
[groans]
409
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:21,040
[crash!]
410
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,521
It's all over.
411
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:27,611
You don't know
how right you are.
412
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,700
No.
413
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:32,355
You had it wrong, Steve.
414
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:35,402
The orb wasn't waking
the Nameless One.
415
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:39,058
It was the only thing
keeping it asleep.
416
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,017
I never was able to bring myself
to destroy it,
417
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,584
but then it showed me...
418
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:47,196
It showed me that
you would do it for me.
419
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:52,549
And now, thanks to you,
B'thazalom rises!
420
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:55,552
[dramatic music plays]
421
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:58,903
[roar!]
422
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:00,427
Aw, [bleep] A!
423
00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,907
You gotta admit,
that's sick as hell.
424
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,475
[roar!]
425
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,869
What have I done?
426
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,089
[roaring]
427
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:17,139
♪
428
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:20,360
[cackles]
429
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:24,668
There's only one true certainty
in this world, Steve--
430
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:28,107
that eventually,
it must end!
431
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,109
Why, Mr. Stormfront?
432
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,806
What's in
all this for you?
433
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:36,376
Well, I assume I'll be rewarded
with mighty cosmic power--
434
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:37,855
[splat!]
435
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,466
Ahh!
436
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,511
[screaming]
437
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,687
[roar!]
438
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:47,517
♪
439
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,258
[screaming in distance]
440
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:53,610
Natalie, what in the heck
is all that racket out there?
441
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,482
NATALIE: Some kind of behemoth
from beyond time and space,
442
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:56,961
Dr. Buckle.
443
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:59,268
[groans] For the love of Pete...
444
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:01,575
[screaming]
445
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,446
[splat!]
446
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:06,057
[sirens wail in distance]
447
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:09,104
[gasping breath]
448
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,454
♪
449
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,109
Oh, thank God!
I'm not too late.
450
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:16,764
[roar!]
451
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:19,767
Nooooo!
452
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:20,985
[tires squeal]
453
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,596
Steve, get in!
454
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:23,988
You're alive!
455
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,512
Yeah, after you said
all that crazy stuff,
456
00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,818
we decided to pack up the car,
just in case.
457
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:29,994
And when we didn't find you
at the TV station--
458
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:31,996
You came back here
to look for me?
459
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:35,217
Of course we did.
We're your family.
460
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:39,003
And that's the one thing
you can always be certain of.
461
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,354
I actually voted
to leave you behind.
462
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:43,051
[tires squeal]
463
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,186
Oh, God, it's horrible!
464
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,188
My whipping comeback
went horrible!
465
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,450
Hang on, gang.
466
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,365
The world may be ending,
but the Smiths
467
00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:55,846
will always live on
to have further adventures.
468
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:59,546
[roar!]
469
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,330
Or maybe not.
470
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,853
It's too late.
471
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,551
This really is
the end...
472
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,161
of...
473
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:08,032
everything.
474
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,383
[roar!]
475
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:16,867
[humming sound in distance]
476
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:25,398
♪
477
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:29,228
[humming getting louder]
478
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:38,846
♪
479
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:40,543
Does anybody else
hear that hum?
480
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:43,024
Well, here goes nothing.
481
00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:47,811
Looks like I'll be
taking my talents
482
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:52,816
to the Buckle Group's Cash
Only Walk-In Urology Center.
483
00:20:52,816 --> 00:20:56,255
I mean, but c'mon.
You gotta do Channel 3.
484
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,257
Buh-bye. See you soon.
485
00:20:58,307 --> 00:21:02,857
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