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1
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,960
Who or what did you do
to get this $20 tip?
2
00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:07,969
Because I wheeled a customer
home the other night,
3
00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:10,092
and all I got was a five.
4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:13,258
And that was after we made out
and I gave him a bath.
5
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,265
The lady at that table
asked me what was special here,
6
00:00:17,393 --> 00:00:20,483
And I said, "I used to be,"
and then I burst into tears.
7
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,401
I pull that out
whenever I need a manicure.
8
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:26,855
Well, it's that time of year again.
9
00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:28,066
I'm so jealous.
10
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,485
I can't believe you only get
your period once a year.
11
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,528
It's tax season,
and my accountant said
12
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,288
I'm getting a refund.
13
00:00:35,453 --> 00:00:36,833
He also complimented these
moccasins,
14
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:40,294
which are also controversial
around here.
15
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,827
Well, they do have
the word "mock,"
16
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,209
-..."ass"...
-And "sin."
17
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,295
This is why I never wear overalls,
18
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,471
because you two would be...
19
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:48,761
-Overall...
-Disgusted?
20
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,303
Precisely.
21
00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:52,586
Oh, Earl, that reminds me.
22
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,219
I forgot. Here you go.
I finished your taxes.
23
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:59,597
And for the future you cannot claim
your weed dealer as a dependent.
24
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:03,226
I don't know why.
I'm very dependent on weed.
25
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,614
Max, since I've been helping
everyone with their taxes,
26
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,364
mostly because the only
other time I get to use
27
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,106
my financial degree is counting
how many Q-Tips we have left...
28
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,619
Ha, five.
29
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,490
Three.
I dropped two in the toilet,
30
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,447
and the cockroach is using them
as oars for his boat.
31
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,827
Ha. That'll be cute.
32
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,501
Look, there are two things
I won't talk about.
33
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,667
Taxes or your flying dreams.
34
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,995
Face it, Caroline.
You're not going anywhere.
35
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,551
Okay, well, we have to talk
about our taxes, and what we're gonna
36
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:34,644
claim, and, no, you cannot claim
I'm ruining your life.
37
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:39,022
Why? I did that last year
and got ten dollars back.
38
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:42,020
(THEME MUSIC)
39
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:43,691
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
40
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,238
2:00 am. Closing time.
Let's go.
41
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,203
It's only 12:30.
42
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,700
-Nice try, Max.
-Come on, let's leave early.
43
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,421
I'm more exhausted than my bra.
44
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,964
Whoa, good, you're still open.
45
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:11,126
My fiance wants a cupcake, and
she always gets what she wants.
46
00:02:11,924 --> 00:02:13,304
Hi.
47
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,513
I mean, I really want
a house in the Hamptons,
48
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,604
but I'll take a cupcake.
49
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,271
I'm nothing like that sounded.
50
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:23,098
Don't apologize.
I'm everything like that sounded.
51
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:25,307
Oh, uh...
I'll be right back, babe.
52
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,017
There's a homeless guy building
53
00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,066
a shopping bag house
around the Porsche.
54
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:32,895
Too bad. That homeless guy
almost had a front Porsche.
55
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,742
He hates this neighborhood.
56
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,986
So you've been held up
at gunpoint one or two times?
57
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,776
It's like, grow a pair, right?
58
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,748
So what are you eating?
59
00:02:41,871 --> 00:02:43,201
Um, chocolate.
60
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:46,419
But, wait, now I'm thinking
red velvet.
61
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,594
Tim put my ring in one
when he proposed.
62
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:50,591
Oh, he proposed with one
of our cupcakes?
63
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,843
-That's so sweet.
-Yeah, it was.
64
00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:55,340
I mean, it was like a whole thing,
because I swallowed it,
65
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:58,596
but, once it passed,
really so pretty.
66
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:02,354
I gave him a 20 to move to
that Mini Cooper instead of our car.
67
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,899
Remind me to start calling Han
"Mini Cooper."
68
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,646
Babe, I've been thinking.
69
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:12,031
-Uh-oh! That's never good.
-No, it's great, babe. Listen.
70
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,986
So, since you proposed to me
with one of their cupcakes,
71
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,071
I was thinking that these girls
should do our wedding cake.
72
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,278
But, babe, we already ordered
a wedding cake.
73
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,580
Thirteen hundred dollars.
Remember, babe?
74
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,123
I know, but, babe.
75
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,748
They said babe less
in the movie Babe.
76
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,132
So do you guys do wedding cakes?
77
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,302
-No.
-Yes.
78
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,210
Uh... I don't. She does.
79
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,548
She's the baker, and, yes,
we do tons of wedding cakes.
80
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,844
Gay weddings, straight weddings.
81
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,756
Bed wettings.
82
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,759
Claire, you do whatever you want,
but I'm gonna wait in the car.
83
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,934
I just can't do
the cake stuff again, babe.
84
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,268
He doesn't want to do the cake stuff.
85
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,484
Well, I don't want
to do the butt stuff.
86
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:50,646
You know what I mean?
87
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,942
-No.
-Yes.
88
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,737
Why don't you come in
and we can talk about it?
89
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,531
-Enter through the diner.
-Okay. See you guys in a sec.
90
00:03:58,948 --> 00:04:00,198
What is wrong with you?
91
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,834
I told you I didn't want
any more white girls in the shop.
92
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,496
And since when do we do
wedding cakes?
93
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,712
Since that guy said 1,300 dollars.
94
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,001
You can do this, Max.
You went to pastry school.
95
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,166
I also went to high school,
96
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:16,844
but I can't tell you which
president Rock Hudson was.
97
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:19,626
-I don't do wedding cakes.
-Okay, I know this may not be
98
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,932
the best time for you to make
your first wedding cake
99
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,353
because of your recent breakup.
100
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,184
Oh, it's not about Deke.
101
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,847
If you remember, I'm the one
who sent his 'fro out the door.
102
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,110
Weddings are just stupid.
103
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,437
This whole idea of celebrating love?
104
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:36,534
I mean, love works out less
than Chris Christie.
105
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,396
Right through here.
106
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,532
There you go, Miss.
107
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,026
Thanks.
108
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,909
Did you want something else?
109
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,543
I'll take whatever I can get.
110
00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:49,214
Okay, we're done.
111
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,631
You're lucky.
This morning, a cannoli shell
112
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,550
pressed sexual harassment
charges against him.
113
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,415
Oh, my God, you guys.
114
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:59,588
Your shop is so adorbs.
I'm Claire, by the way.
115
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,256
I owned a store on Bedford Ave.
116
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,684
A dress shop called
"Get the Frock Out."
117
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,470
Oh, I remember that place.
118
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:09,268
Wasn't it right next to the hair
salon, "Unbe-weave-able?"
119
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,943
Yeah, yeah,
between "Unbe-weave-able"
120
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,272
and the kosher smoothie place
called "The Wandering Juice."
121
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:19,399
I love their menorah-nge juice.
122
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:22,238
Yeah, you know, it was always
my dream to have a dress shop.
123
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:24,406
But then, after a year,
hardly anyone was coming in,
124
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,334
and I was like,
"Maybe I should get the frock out."
125
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,582
-So I bailed.
-I totally get it.
126
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:32,577
Our first shop failed,
but we got up, dusted ourselves off--
127
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,710
Well, Max went on a four-day bender,
128
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,004
but I found her and dusted her off,
then we started again.
129
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,629
Yeah, good thing you downloaded
the "Find Your Drunk Roommate" app.
130
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:44,509
Oh, so you guys kept going,
even though you failed?
131
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,926
Why? Don't you have boyfriends?
132
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,559
(CHUCKLES) So when are
you two getting married?
133
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:51,853
Oh, in three days.
134
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,266
Three days?
You're so calm.
135
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,767
Yeah, well, I was in the plane
that crashed in the Hudson,
136
00:05:56,939 --> 00:06:00,149
so after that everything's
just kind of been "meh."
137
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,821
So do you know what kind
of cake you want?
138
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,987
Absolutely.
Something traditional,
139
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,445
something very old school,
you know, very romantic....
140
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,079
But, wait, now I'm thinking
141
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,951
you guys are so cool,
142
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,252
what if we did something with a
weird hipster Williamsburg vibe?
143
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,294
So you want an obnoxious cake
144
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:20,915
on a trust fund, wearing
an ironic T-shirt with HPV?
145
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,838
But, wait, now I'm thinking
pastels for spring.
146
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:27,756
Oh, but, wait, now I'm thinking
colors. I love clowns.
147
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:33,137
Wow, she changes her mind more
than I change my underwear.
148
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,310
So twice?
149
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,649
Sophie, on your tax form here,
150
00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:46,026
you listed your occupation
as "Sophie."
151
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,616
(POLISH ACCENT)
Yeah, it's a full-time job, baby.
152
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:54,461
And who claims
$5,000 worth of mascara?
153
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,962
It's a business deduction
for my cleaning business.
154
00:06:58,127 --> 00:07:02,547
I give it out to all the underage
girls from Poland as treats.
155
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:07,933
Just because you're scrubbing toilets
doesn't mean your eyes can't pop.
156
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:12,562
Do you have any legitimate anything
that we can use for anything?
157
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:14,642
Here's a big receipt.
158
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,978
Twenty-five hundred dollars
for Stolichnaya.
159
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,395
You can't write off liquor.
160
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:24,404
No, Irina Stolichnaya.
161
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,448
Yeah, she waxes my eyebrows.
162
00:07:26,572 --> 00:07:29,322
And my downstairs eyebrows.
163
00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:34,000
Okay, well, there's no line
on this form
164
00:07:34,163 --> 00:07:36,503
for downstairs eyebrows,
165
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:40,001
so I'm just gonna list it
as home office.
166
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:45,836
Yeah, well, I do work out of it.
167
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,626
Caroline, where's Max?
168
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:51,969
As much as I enjoy a two-hour break
from being called a tiny woman,
169
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,386
she's supposed to be working.
170
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:59,558
-Max, how's the cake going?
-That bride's a mess.
171
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:04,481
She changed her mind
while she was changing her mind.
172
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,864
Not the good stuff on the top shelf!
173
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,367
Oh, you can't reach it anyway,
Mini Cooper.
174
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:17,999
Jokes on her.
I have a collapsible ladder.
175
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,961
(PHONE RINGING)
176
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:23,712
Oh, hi, Claire.
Max is working on it right now.
177
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,549
Oh, you've been thinking?
178
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,802
Caroline, can I get anything
for a panty liner?
179
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,224
I'm on the phone with Claire.
180
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,389
You mean un-Claire?
181
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,888
She wants to make a couple changes.
182
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,059
-What should I tell her?
-Tell her I hate her.
183
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,438
No, you know what, I'll tell her.
184
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,736
I love to tell people things.
Give me the phone.
185
00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:49,702
Max, I beg you.
Thirteen-hundred dollars.
186
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:50,991
Oh, my God. She is so crazy.
187
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,994
I should make a giant cake and have
a psychiatrist pop out of it.
188
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:55,576
Give me the phone.
189
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:58,331
Hey, Claire-bear.
What's happening, babe?
190
00:08:58,455 --> 00:08:59,745
CLAIRE: Max, I've been thinking,
191
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,081
and I know I said I didn't want
the fondant frosting,
192
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,340
but now I just saw a photo
193
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,996
of another wedding cake
that was so gorge.
194
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:09,259
And I started thinking...
195
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:10,973
Uh-huh, sure. No problem.
196
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,392
So then we can do the fondant?
197
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,930
Yes, definitely fondant.
198
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,886
Perfect. Bye. Love you.
199
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,434
Love you, too.
200
00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,939
Max, I know you worked hard,
201
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,484
and you're probably upset
about having to change it.
202
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,401
(HUMMING WEDDING MARCH)
203
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:42,825
I'm sensing a lot of hostility...
204
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,035
...that has nothing to do
with that couple,
205
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:48,799
and may be more about you
206
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,173
and a certain groom
that didn't happen.
207
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,469
What, you can't light
a couple's head on fire
208
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:56,804
without it being
about your ex-boyfriend?
209
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,759
Max, I know you're sad about it.
210
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,269
I heard you crying last night.
211
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,142
That was you crying.
212
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,109
Well, someone was crying.
213
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,531
(GASPS)
Oh, my God.
214
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,525
Max. It's beautiful.
215
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,198
You did an amazing job.
216
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,946
That's quite a cake, cake, cake.
217
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:24,878
Calm down. I made a cake.
I didn't fold a fitted sheet.
218
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,340
Ooh, and I like
the new bride and groom.
219
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,051
By the way, I fished the other
ones out of the garbage
220
00:10:29,171 --> 00:10:32,011
in case we ever get
a burn victim wedding.
221
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,881
Okay, I got the extra icing.
Let's go.
222
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:37,009
Now grab it with two hands
and lift with your knees.
223
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,678
Oh, is that how you think
it should go?
224
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,644
Because I was gonna grab it with my
head and lift it with my face.
225
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,603
BOTH: Got it. Got it. Got it.
226
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,862
Oh, wait.
227
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,270
Got it. Got it. Got it.
228
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,939
Got it. Got it. Got it.
229
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,240
-Grease puddle.
-Got it.
230
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:55,203
Got it. Got it.
231
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,624
-Roach.
-Got it.
232
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,951
MAN (OVER PA): Bedford Avenue.
233
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,247
Got it. Got it. Got it.
234
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,871
Got it. Got it.
235
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,038
MAN (OVER PA): Watch the doors.
236
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,042
(GROANS) Max, this is so heavy.
237
00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:12,591
I know. We're two grown women
who can't afford a taxi.
238
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,674
Oh, there's a seat over there.
We can put this down.
239
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,891
Got it. Got it. Got it.
240
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:23,179
I blame science.
241
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,597
People shouldn't be living this long.
242
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,306
Max, I need a break.
243
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,437
Me too.
Maybe just like two weeks apart.
244
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,273
Like, no phone calls, nothing.
245
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,149
I mean the cake.
246
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,395
And you love me.
247
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,528
Other side.
Less crowded.
248
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,284
Oh, this guy can't see.
Just our luck.
249
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,278
To the left, sir.
250
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:44,118
-(BOTH SCREAMING)
-Other left!
251
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,464
Oh, what, is everybody blind now?
252
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,585
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Who are you even dancing for?
253
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,261
Everyone's blind.
254
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,013
Got it. Got it.
255
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:58,434
Losing it.
Losing it.
256
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,682
Holding it. Holding it. Losing it.
257
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,813
Second wind.
Got it. Got it.
258
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,061
MAN (OVER PA): First Avenue.
First Avenue Station.
259
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,982
There, there.
Put it down.
260
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,814
(BOTH SIGHING)
261
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:13,017
Max, I think we got it.
262
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,703
Don't got it.
263
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,830
Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it.
264
00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,286
(SIGHING)
265
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,705
Got it.
266
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,469
This cake looks perfect.
You would never know.
267
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:39,548
That's why I'm fond of the fondant.
Covers everything.
268
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:40,966
We'll be long gone by the time
269
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,854
they realize
it's half cake-half Styrofoam
270
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,473
from the Radio Shack garbage.
271
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:49,019
Hi. I'm the wedding planner,
slash, my own funeral planner
272
00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,186
because it ain't going great.
273
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,017
You the cake girls?
274
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,770
You think just 'cause we're
two girls with a giant cake,
275
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,232
we're the cake girls?
276
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,359
You think because I'm fake smiling
277
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,357
I won't throw you down
a flight of stairs?
278
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,027
You do that?
Do you have a card?
279
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,120
Sorry. We had a rough morning
getting this here.
280
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,214
You?
She changed the menu again.
281
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,290
I spent the whole morning making
17 turkeys look like 17 hams
282
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,126
for that crazy bitch.
283
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:16,046
Oh, come on, that's a little harsh.
284
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:20,047
What?
She won't come out of her room?
285
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,684
The bride has cold feet.
286
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,971
That crazy bitch.
287
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,175
Here's a crazy idea.
288
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,474
How about the check for the cake?
289
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,230
All right, I'm gonna tell
you two what I told
290
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,189
the make-your-own-popsicle guy.
291
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,862
Nobody gets paid until the bride
walks down the aisle.
292
00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:38,034
Nobody.
293
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,410
There's gonna be popsicles?
294
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:46,195
She's not that crazy.
295
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,246
-So what are we gonna do now?
-Let's go.
296
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,370
Max, we can't go.
We need this money.
297
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:53,416
We also need a shower curtain
that doesn't give us rashes.
298
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:57,424
But, wait, we really need
this cake money.
299
00:13:57,546 --> 00:14:01,416
We need a toilet that flushes
everything the first time.
300
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,721
While you were doing the cake,
I was doing our taxes.
301
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:08,601
And we owe Uncle Sam $1,500.
302
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:13,100
Man, why does every uncle
I know try to screw me?
303
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,692
So what are we gonna do?
You heard that woman.
304
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,444
Nobody gets paid until
the bride walks down the aisle.
305
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,568
(IMITATES WOMAN) Nobody.
306
00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:27,405
Knock-knock.
There's the gorgeous bride.
307
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,583
(GASPS)
Your dress is beautiful.
308
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,712
It's a beautiful dress to get married
in right now in the next room.
309
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,789
No, I hate it.
I'm taking it off.
310
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,495
I'm not wearing this dress,
or that one, or that one,
311
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,548
because I'm thinking
marriage is stupid.
312
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,258
-So stupid.
-Max.
313
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,603
Stupid beautiful,
and everyone should do it.
314
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,140
Nope. It's not for me.
315
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,354
Like underwear.
316
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:56,863
Oh, you'll feel fine as soon as
you get back in this dress.
317
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,270
Or that dress or that dress.
318
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,978
Okay, I feel like you guys
are forcing me into this dress.
319
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,820
That's ridiculous.
320
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,363
Forcing you into a dress for money?
321
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,816
Now where's that freaking veil?
322
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,280
Nope, not that one.
323
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,448
This was just a backup veil.
You can't even see my face.
324
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,874
It was in case I got herpes.
You know how it is.
325
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,705
-Yeah.
-No.
326
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,789
Anyways, I'm thinking...
327
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,747
What, like seven different things
all resulting in us not getting paid?
328
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:25,169
Listen, I'm thinking that maybe
I bailed out of my shop too soon.
329
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,179
I mean, I left after only a year.
330
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:28,514
Why? Because I was just scared?
331
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,426
Well, everybody's afraid of failure.
332
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:31,974
No, not failure.
333
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,227
There was a gang shooting
in front of my dress shop.
334
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,600
I had to bury two mannequins.
335
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,857
For future reference,
just draw a teardrop on your face,
336
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,730
and they'll move it
to Banana Republic.
337
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,740
Well, I mean, it wasn't easy
for you guys, right?
338
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:46,860
But you hung in there,
339
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,369
and now you have this big,
successful cake business.
340
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,532
-We lied.
-It's terrible.
341
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,868
-We're losers.
-Get married.
342
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:56,003
Claire, the only thing harder than
building a business is finding love.
343
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,331
Look at her.
She just lost someone she loves,
344
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,500
and quite frankly she doesn't think
it's ever gonna happen for her again.
345
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:02,878
I mean, none of us do.
346
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,682
-Not even Han?
-No, he's the one who brought it up.
347
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:13,224
Claire, who knows you better than us?
348
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,227
You're getting married.
349
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:18,482
You're right.
I should get married.
350
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,152
-Yay.
-Yay.
351
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,860
-But not to Tim.
-What?
352
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,480
You guys will tell him for me, right?
353
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:24,937
Tell him I'm no good.
Tell him I'm sorry.
354
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,277
You know what, tell him whatever
you want. You guys decide. I'm easy.
355
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:34,537
You know what she's not?
Easy.
356
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:36,912
CAROLINE: You heard that woman.
357
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,288
Nobody gets paid until the bride
walks down the aisle.
358
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,257
Now, remember, don't lift this veil
359
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,183
until the party planner
hands me that check.
360
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,761
Why don't you have to wear the dress?
361
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:54,095
You're practically a virgin.
362
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,274
Max, somebody has to walk down
the aisle, and I can't do it.
363
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,932
Marriage means something to me,
and I only plan
364
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,271
to walk down that aisle once.
365
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:02,944
You also said that
about the yeast infection aisle
366
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:06,145
at CVS, but there you were
last Saturday
367
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,776
pretending to buy
children's cough syrup.
368
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:11,658
Let's go.
369
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,779
Oops. Okay.
370
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,161
Wait, Max...
371
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:17,906
Max, wait, wait.
372
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,037
Wait. Max!
373
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,336
Now, walk down the aisle
like it's your special day.
374
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,511
Go. The bride never talks
to the cake lady.
375
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,170
People are like, "Who's that?"
376
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,839
If you think they're like,
"Who's that?" now,
377
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,798
wait a few minutes
till that veil gets lifted.
378
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,391
("WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS)
379
00:17:57,493 --> 00:18:00,253
Can't believe it. She's actually
walking down that aisle.
380
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:03,001
Yup, that's totally her
walking down the aisle.
381
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,375
So the check,
you can hand it to me now.
382
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,710
You look stunning, babe.
383
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,939
Come on, come on, come on. I'll just
take whatever check's on top.
384
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,820
Babe, wait.
385
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,188
Now I'm thinking
I do want to get married.
386
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:36,069
Babe, if you're there, who is...
387
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:40,737
'Sup?
388
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,083
(ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
389
00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,259
Babe, I know I said
I didn't want any kids,
390
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,087
but now I'm thinking four.
391
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:57,353
Babe, you should have said that
before the vasectomy.
392
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,060
You can always reverse it.
393
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,141
Again?
394
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:04,639
So you're the father, huh?
395
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,649
And you stuck around.
396
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,940
That's an interesting way to play it.
397
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,566
Okay, I got the check.
We can leave.
398
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:14,242
Not now. I'm doing
the father-daughter dance.
399
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,573
May I cut in?
400
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,778
Oh, no, with her.
401
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,406
If you're trying to hook up with me,
you're a little late.
402
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:22,615
That dad just slipped me
his room key.
403
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,582
You really do make a lovely bride.
404
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,378
Oh, thanks.
You know I have one of those
405
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,420
ham turkeys in my underwear, right?
406
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:34,051
Oh, I thought you were
just happy to see me.
407
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,132
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
408
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,719
This is nice.
409
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,099
And that cake really is beautiful.
410
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,602
Thanks.
411
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,102
Wish I could have showed it to....
412
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,138
-Deke.
-Yeah.
413
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,689
So are you really okay?
414
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,273
I know you loved him.
415
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:54,690
I did, which is the worst, because
it made me feel almost like a person.
416
00:19:55,612 --> 00:19:57,952
Max, Caroline. Hi.
417
00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,334
I just wanted to say
thank you for everything.
418
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,450
And I was watching you guys
dance together,
419
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,078
and now I'm thinking
I might be into girls.
420
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,707
Can I call you?
421
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,883
-Yes.
-No.
422
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000
Great.
423
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:16,968
What do you mean the bottom
of the cake says Radio Shack?
424
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:18,967
That's our cue.
425
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,973
Wait, wait, I haven't thrown
the bouquet yet.
426
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,677
Hey, single ladies.
427
00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:25,062
Here we go.
428
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,484
One, two...
429
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,694
Three.
430
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:34,646
Hey, cake girls.
431
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,107
Styrofoam?
432
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:38,028
It's gluten-free.
433
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,576
(CASH REGISTER RINGS)
434
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,307
(English US - SDH)
435
00:21:08,357 --> 00:21:12,907
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