All language subtitles for 2 Broke Girls s02e22 Extra Work
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,751 --> 00:00:04,091
Get the birthday candle ready because...
2
00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,844
...here comes Chestnut's carrot cake.
3
00:00:08,384 --> 00:00:11,514
I know we want this to be special,
but Chestnut is a horse.
4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:15,969
Any day he's not being made
into an IKEA meatball is a birthday.
5
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,769
And remember,
even though it's his 10th birthday...
6
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:23,187
...we have to pretend he's 6
or he'll be in a bad mood all week.
7
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,244
Surprise.
8
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:30,822
-Happy birthday, Chestnut.
-Happy birthday, Chestnut.
9
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,739
Max. He was supposed to do that.
10
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,578
What? I know what he wished for.
11
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:38,254
That one day, he and I live in a world
where our love is recognized...
12
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,924
...and we have the same rights
as gay couples.
13
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:43,092
There you go, baby.
14
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:46,008
Hey, look, his shoe just fell off.
15
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:50,431
Or maybe he kicked it off
because he's getting ready to party.
16
00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:52,893
What are we gonna do?
We don't have any money.
17
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:56,102
I wanted a massage,
so I just sat next to someone on the bus...
18
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:58,477
...who looked like he'd touch me.
19
00:00:59,018 --> 00:01:01,348
I may have an idea how we can get them.
20
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,440
A guy I picked up at Oktoberfest
is a blacksmith. At least I think he was.
21
00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:09,358
I remember a leather apron
and something being heated in a fire.
22
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,035
Well, I found my blacksmith.
23
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:28,630
He now shares an artisan barn with a lady
who makes clothing out of bees.
24
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,263
That's why our cupcake shop didn't work.
25
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:34,394
We weren't providing a service
that everyone needs.
26
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:38,062
He looked at our boy, and not only
does Chestnut need four new shoes...
27
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,773
...he has a hoof fungus.
28
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:43,153
A hoof fungus? That's so ghetto.
29
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:46,271
I'm pretty sure he got it from me
because we shower together.
30
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:50,489
And the cost of new shoes and vet fee,
$1400.
31
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,742
Ugh, Max, I feel awful. I'm a bad mother.
32
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:57,576
You're not a bad mother.
I know bad mothers. I came out of one.
33
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,246
Ladies, what's happening over there?
34
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:05,422
You know a gathering of more than
two white people makes me nervous.
35
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,586
-Earl, one of them's Asian.
-Ah, same thing.
36
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,223
Who would I talk to about the diner?
37
00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:15,263
We're interested in renting this location
to film a TV show.
38
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,676
We think your diner would be a great place
to kill someone.
39
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,848
I get it. Because every time I come in here,
I die a little.
40
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,146
Here's my card. Tom Woo,
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
41
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,192
Shut your face, Tom Woo.
42
00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:31,986
I love all the Law & Orders,
especially SVU.
43
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:34,281
Their stories are ripped
from the headlines.
44
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,735
And I don't read the newspaper,
so that's where I get all my news.
45
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,408
Cool. Let me go get the director.
That's him.
46
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:43,371
Look how cute the director is.
47
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,128
He's my rugged-guy type.
Not really rugged at all...
48
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:50,092
...but buys expensive rugged-looking
clothing from Saks Fifth Avenue.
49
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,633
Hi, D.J. Kingsley.
50
00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:56,548
Nice beard. You grow out that stubble,
or just set your razor to "Jason Statham"?
51
00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,008
Heh. Excuse me, sir.
52
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,139
You've got a great face.
Have you ever done any extra work?
53
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:07,347
Well, I was in the 1973 classic,
Scream, Blackula, Scream.
54
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:13,240
Pam Grier kicked me in the nuts
and called me a jive turkey.
55
00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:16,031
I'd love to have your look
in the episode.
56
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:19,115
What about me? You can shave my head,
drag me behind a car...
57
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,623
...or anything else
I've already done for free.
58
00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:26,584
Sure. And you must be an actress.
You're way too pretty to just be a waitress.
59
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:31,421
Thank you, heh. In fact,
I have done a little acting.
60
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:36,926
In high school, I portrayed Fantine
in Les Misérables.
61
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:41,008
Just hearing you say that
makes me miserable.
62
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:45,100
How about it? You wanna hang with me
and be an extra on Special Victims Unit?
63
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:48,146
It pays 112 a day
plus whatever you normally make in tips.
64
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:52,982
Oh, so about 115? I'm in.
Mama needs a new pair of horse shoes.
65
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,990
So where's the boss?
66
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,781
I'm the boss.
But I'll get the guy who owns the place.
67
00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,906
Oleg, they're shooting a TV show here...
68
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,374
...and the back of my head
or the side of my boob is gonna be in it.
69
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,616
Good for you, Max.
70
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,118
I was on Ukraine's version
of Big Brother once...
71
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:11,169
...better known as "just living in Ukraine."
72
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:16,424
Han, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
wants to shoot in the diner...
73
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:20,719
...and if you don't say yes, you'll be
my special victim when I cut your unit off.
74
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,471
Please say yes, Han. They're gonna pay us
to be in the background.
75
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,229
But do you know how to act?
76
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,561
Actually we do.
77
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:32,055
My acting's Method,
whereas hers is more meth head.
78
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,113
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
79
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:38,282
Hey, come in. And remember,
if he says no, he doesn't mean it.
80
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,824
He just wants you to flirt with him
a little bit.
81
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,240
Not so fast, Max.
82
00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:45,488
Hello, I'm Han Lee,
the owner and proprietor.
83
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:49,001
Oh, proprietor?
That word's bigger than you are.
84
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,290
-What kind of compensation do you want?
-Whoa, whoa, my Asian brother.
85
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,091
-Slow down. Let's enjoy the dance.
-We'd like to shoot here.
86
00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:02,587
-It's got the right amount of funk and skank.
-Ah! If we do real good and get a spin-off...
87
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:06,101
...that'll be the name of our show,
Funk and Skank.
88
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,984
Okay, but I don't wanna be Skank.
89
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,271
Oh, clearly I'm Skank.
90
00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:15,937
And may I say I'm honored I have such
a worthy opponent to barter with.
91
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,399
(SPEAKS IN KOREAN)
92
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,609
Dude, I'm from Pasadena.
93
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,289
I never thought I'd be on a TV show...
94
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,911
...where no one was yelling,
"You are not the father."
95
00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,884
MAN:
Let's go. Bring in the waitress extras.
96
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,883
Ooh, I love these uniforms.
97
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,625
I feel like Brenda from 90210...
98
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:42,087
...when she was dressed
as that '50s waitress at the Peach Pit.
99
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,719
Well, when we're the big stars
of Funk And Skank...
100
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,137
...we won't have to wear any uniforms.
101
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,305
But wait, aren't Funk and Skank cops?
102
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:51,975
Uh, no, they're hookers.
103
00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:56,018
How about a compromise?
Cops by day, prostitutes by night.
104
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,269
You know, "cops-titutes."
105
00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:01,856
Either way, we're New York's finest.
106
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:04,488
Okay, everybody, ready. Here we go.
107
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,816
(MAX GASPS)
108
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,040
-Look at Earl over there.
CAROLINE: Good luck, Earl.
109
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,501
-Camera on the door.
MAN: Scene eight, take one.
110
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,921
D.J.:
And action. The shooter comes in.
111
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,384
And cut. You're in. Reset.
112
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,377
Earl, that was inspiring.
113
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,968
I hope everyone who sees you
goes out and ignores a crime.
114
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,756
It was like that scene
was about the cash register guy.
115
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,480
You really brought something extra.
I smell an Emmy.
116
00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,143
Oh, that's weed.
117
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,982
Hi. Sorry we haven't gotten
to you guys yet.
118
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:42,108
Why don't you hang out in the office?
I hear there's good sushi. You look pretty.
119
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:44,990
I think the director kind of likes me.
120
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,704
Well, I don't know about him,
but his penis does.
121
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,196
Okay. Camera on the door.
122
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,950
MAN:
Scene eight, take two.
123
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:56,382
D.J.:
And action. The shooter comes in.
124
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,042
Bang, bang!
125
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,748
D.J.:
Cut.
126
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,170
Excuse me. How did you get through?
127
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,799
Oh, please. I once got through
the Berlin Wall.
128
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,178
You think two kids with walkie-talkies
could stop me?
129
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,005
(LAUGHS)
130
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,431
Damn, this room's got a sweet spread.
131
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,978
Free sushi? Uh, yes.
132
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,901
Free dessert? Uh, duh.
133
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,772
This is great.
We've gotta figure a way to get paid...
134
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,860
...to sit around, eat free food,
and do nothing more often.
135
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:27,736
Oh, I think you cracked that code
a long time ago.
136
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:31,156
Would it be tacky if I packed some sushi
in my purse for later?
137
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,696
Already packed mine,
already packed yours.
138
00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,955
This is the VIP lounge.
139
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:40,424
See? The shrimp
have already been de-turded.
140
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:41,956
Oh, hi, girls.
141
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:45,839
Oh, you finally got new uniforms.
You look stupid.
142
00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:49,472
These are from the Costume Department
of a little show called...
143
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:52,806
...Law & Order: SVU
that Max and I are co-starring in.
144
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:57,193
Co-stars? Honey, please.
You two are just extras.
145
00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:01,225
Um, extra paid and full of purse sushi.
146
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,649
They're ready for you two.
147
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,437
Oh. Be right there.
Just gonna put my purse in the fridge.
148
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:10,452
-Thomas, Tom, T-Pain. Can we chat?
-What is it, dude?
149
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,945
Your crew got soy sauce
all over my computer.
150
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:16,157
And according to our agreement,
you must pay all the damages.
151
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,789
-How much do you want?
-Three hundred dollars.
152
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,246
-But it's a piece of crap.
-But it was a gift from my father.
153
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:25,208
And you know how important family is
in our culture.
154
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,549
Again, I don't.
I was raised by two white women.
155
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,181
Oh, hey, hey.
156
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,553
Yes. Uh, who do I talk to
about becoming a star?
157
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:39,442
This is so exciting.
158
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,652
God, that woman keeps pushing
my head down.
159
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,272
I feel like I'm on a date with her.
160
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,862
You guys are behind the counter,
doing your waitress thing.
161
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:52,198
Shooter aims for the cook but hits her,
our featured waitress.
162
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,615
Hey, didn't I already see you on SVU?
Oh, yeah, I remember.
163
00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:59,576
They found your head in a mini-fridge
in the Hudson. I knew I recognized you.
164
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,748
Wait, we've already killed you?
Sorry, babe, you're out.
165
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:06,375
Aw. Well, you gave great head.
166
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,716
Tom, bump someone up
to the featured waitress.
167
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,221
Pays a thousand more bucks.
168
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,554
That could be the money
we need for Chestnut.
169
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,219
Could one of us do it?
170
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,218
Can you act
like you've been hit with a bullet?
171
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:20,229
Uh, heh, well, it just so happens,
I have been hit by a bullet twice.
172
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:24,064
Once in a 7-Eleven and once running away
in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven.
173
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,190
So, yeah, I think I got this.
174
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:29,437
I'm thinking maybe a blond
would be better. Caroline?
175
00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:32,905
Well, I did have a pretty convincing
death scene as Fantine.
176
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:36,582
And I died, like--
Well, should I just show you?
177
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:51,882
You are such a nerd.
178
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:57,309
That's great, Caroline. Special Effects,
put the blood device on Caroline.
179
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,981
-She's our special victim.
-Really? I got it?
180
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:04,942
Yes. But a little less French Revolution
and a lot more "face down on the floor."
181
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,475
You can't take a shot.
You can't even do a shot.
182
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:11,109
Don't be mad, Max.
I'm doing this for Chestnut.
183
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,278
It's not my fault
he liked my death scene.
184
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,367
He liked your death scene with his penis.
185
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:19,788
Wow, Max, show business really brings out
the worst in you.
186
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:22,212
You haven't seen me at a wedding.
187
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,999
Hello? You just put your hand down
a woman's blouse without asking?
188
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,048
Every day.
189
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,716
Well, um, here, can I help you?
190
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,591
No. It's a union thing.
191
00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,717
-Aren't you in there a little long?
-Yeah.
192
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,142
Caroline, that special-effects rig
is very sensitive.
193
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,521
-Don't let anything near your chest.
-Except me.
194
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:51,864
And don't be nervous.
195
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,197
The camera's gonna love you.
How could it not?
196
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:55,913
D.J., stop flirting with me.
197
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:59,622
I'm gonna die soon
and you'll never get over me.
198
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:03,119
Promise you'll die soon?
199
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:07,826
Max, I'm about to be shot
and I can't die with bad blood between us.
200
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,250
We're good. You're living my dream, girl.
Do me proud.
201
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,471
-I will.
-No. Don't hug with it.
202
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,314
D.J.:
Caroline, you set the thing off.
203
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,475
-We weren't rolling.
-Really?
204
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:28,364
That's too bad, because that was gold.
205
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,815
That's a wrap, everybody.
We'll pick it up tomorrow.
206
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,072
I'm so sorry, it just went off.
207
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,145
-Prettiest screwup all day.
-Heh.
208
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:38,821
After you get cleaned up,
why don't we have dinner?
209
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:42,120
-Dinner? Yeah, I'd like that.
-Let's say 8.
210
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,084
My assistant will give you the address
and my room number.
211
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:50,876
You know, this is exactly how you look
in all my dreams where I shoot you.
212
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,553
The director just invited me to dinner
at his hotel but it's in his room.
213
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:57,013
-Do you think he--? Is that why he--?
-Yes. Yes.
214
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,224
-Will you come?
-Yes.
215
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,644
-Maybe he thought my audition was really--
-No.
216
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:05,393
Uh, Caroline, next time, maybe a little less.
217
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:12,399
Remember, if this director slips you
anything that looks like a SweeTart...
218
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,566
...it's that drug that knocks you out
and distorts your memory.
219
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,395
At least that's what it does
to the guys I give it to.
220
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:21,412
It's never gonna get to that.
I have my own date rape drug.
221
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:25,655
I talk about myself incessantly
till guys get bored and pass out.
222
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,288
If that doesn't work, what are your limits?
Over sweater, under sweater?
223
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,417
A little front door, back door,
a little secret staircase?
224
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,376
I don't know what that is
but no one goes up my staircase.
225
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:36,797
Not even for Chestnut.
226
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,125
At the most, I'll do kissing.
227
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,349
You are thinking like an extra.
You need to think like a star...
228
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:47,433
...if you're gonna buy Chestnut shoes,
therapy, then a way out of Scientology.
229
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,689
Oh. Hi. You brought company.
230
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,265
Yes, she's my ride.
We share a subway card.
231
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,531
She uses the card. I jump the turnstile...
232
00:12:56,692 --> 00:13:00,072
...and she pretends to chase me, yelling,
"Don't worry, I'll get her."
233
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,988
Well, come on in.
Stay for a glass of champagne, Max.
234
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:06,368
Don't worry about taking the subway home.
My driver can take you.
235
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:10,075
Now I'm torn. As much as I don't want you
to have sex against your will...
236
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:13,338
...I do wanna roll up to the McDonald's
in a limo.
237
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,051
There's no rush.
Come, let's sit down and hang out.
238
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:20,512
It was really nice of you to invite me up
here to have a casual, work-related dinner.
239
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:25,184
Max, there, Caroline, there,
and me, well, here.
240
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,466
-Can't turn it off. Still directing.
-Heh.
241
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:34,113
Oh. You know, I love this hotel.
I came here once to do a photo shoot...
242
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,862
...for a "20 under-20 teen millionaires"
spread...
243
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,074
...and I remember
I had just gotten my hair cut...
244
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,736
...which was a big decision because
I was kind of known for my long hair.
245
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,407
He wanted to take an inch,
which doesn't sound big...
246
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:49,076
...but when you're known
for your long hair...
247
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:54,286
...people are expecting to see you
with long hair.
248
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,633
So was that okay?
249
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,594
Oh, heh, yeah, sure.
250
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:01,634
It's just Max is here
and I don't want her to feel left out.
251
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,129
Sorry. Got it.
252
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,469
That was nice.
253
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,230
You're a good kisser. Ahem.
254
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:14,313
Are you eating a cinnamon Altoid?
255
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:18,567
I'm eating a cinnamon Altoid.
256
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,567
Well, then I just tasted you.
257
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,658
Look, D.J.,
I think you have the wrong idea.
258
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,873
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
259
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,703
Oh, hold that thought.
260
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,448
I would never interrupt this
for a work call...
261
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:34,870
...but it's my wife
and I wanna say good night to the kids.
262
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,917
That guy's a player.
263
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,495
I'm not talking my way out of this.
We're screwed.
264
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:43,841
Yeah. He's got a high tolerance.
Your "long hair" speech almost roofied me.
265
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,642
What do we do, Max?
I don't want to offend him.
266
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:51,433
We need that extra money for Chestnut.
This is the oldest tale in the book.
267
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,390
A woman forced to trade her body
to get her child shoes.
268
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:58,111
It's Shakespearean, it's Dickensian,
it's Kardashian.
269
00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:01,113
Look at the bright side.
You already thought he was sexy...
270
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:03,185
...so you were gonna sleep with him.
271
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,530
He's married. You know he won't cheat
on you with somebody else...
272
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,197
...because you're that somebody else.
You a side bitch.
273
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:14,161
No, Max. I can tell him how I feel.
Besides, he probably already got it.
274
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,581
You heard me tell him
he read the signs wrong.
275
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:24,093
Apparently the sign he read said,
"Three-way up ahead."
276
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,128
Pretty good, right?
277
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,761
Hit show, wife, kids,
I still find time to get to the gym.
278
00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:34,308
So you guys need to drink a little more
before we do this? Because I don't.
279
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,185
I'm just gonna say this
before that towel comes off.
280
00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,564
I think you've misread the signals here.
281
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,690
Really? That sucks.
282
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:45,317
I'm sorry. These things happen.
It reminds me of that time I had tea...
283
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,616
...with that prince in Dubai
and he thought he bought me.
284
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,827
Turns out, he bought a different blond.
285
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:53,541
Oh, men.
286
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,133
-Morning, D.J.
-Morning.
287
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:06,174
See, Max? No hard feelings.
I told you it was gonna work out.
288
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:10,054
Hi. I'm ready for my fake blood pouch.
289
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:15,138
Uh, I think you got the wrong breasts.
290
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,887
-But for a rough guy you got a soft touch.
-Yup.
291
00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,232
There's been a change.
292
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,857
Uh, Max is now getting featured
and you're in the BG.
293
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,484
Background.
294
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,780
-These are real?
-Yup.
295
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,695
Nice job.
296
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,032
You hear that, Max? Now I'm in the BG.
297
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,490
I didn't do D.J., so I'm in the BG.
298
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:38,541
Max, we have time for one full take
before lunch...
299
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,876
...then we'll come back
and do your coverage.
300
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,462
Hey, maybe you and I can have lunch
in my trailer?
301
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,589
Well, I do love a trailer.
302
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,764
Okay, let's stay on schedule, people.
303
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,763
My kid's reading a poem at school.
304
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,046
By the way, your rack looks fantastic.
305
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,260
You seem like a great dad.
306
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:59,019
D.J., is this about last night,
because I wouldn't wear a towel?
307
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,694
No, no, we're good.
308
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,814
I don't wanna see that. Bury her deep.
309
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:05,900
"Bury her deep"?
Did he just say "bury her deep"?
310
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:08,027
Caroline, you need to work back there.
311
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:11,873
-Is this how Hollywood treats women?
-This is how Hollywood treats everyone.
312
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,160
D.J.:
Everybody ready.
313
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:16,624
Max, if you do this,
you'll be getting paid for sex.
314
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,196
Well, it's about time.
315
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,712
Places, everyone.
316
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,594
CAROLINE: You don't have to do this.
Chestnut is my horse.
317
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:26,301
D.J.: And action.
Max, you're wiping the counter.
318
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,672
The killer comes in, you look up.
319
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,219
(MUMBLES) Don't do it.
We can find the money somewhere else.
320
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,514
Cut. Tom, I don't want to see her.
321
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,350
TOM: Caroline.
-Here they come.
322
00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,562
TOM:
Come on, everybody. Back to one.
323
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,273
And action.
Max, you're wiping the counter.
324
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:43,194
The killer comes in, you look up.
325
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:45,234
Pickup.
326
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,977
(BELL RINGS)
327
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,608
Max, seriously, it's not worth it.
328
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:52,068
Cut. Get her out of there. Reset. Reset.
329
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,658
Sorry about all that, people.
330
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,873
Now let's give me the bullet
I've been waiting for my whole life.
331
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,952
I haven't felt this unwanted...
332
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,332
...since I tried to teach
those inner-city school kids how to knit.
333
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:08,210
You have to stay here away from the shot
or neither of you is gonna be paid.
334
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,798
Hey, Tom, you know what
this scene needs?
335
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:13,974
A little more cashier.
336
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,720
Boy, that crew is doing a lot of damage
to this diner.
337
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:21,598
Well, I'm doing some damage
to this fancy French water.
338
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:26,978
Hundred-fifty for the floor,
20 for the napkins they used, and....
339
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:34,777
And 55 bucks
for that gorgeous picture of the city.
340
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,905
Well, this is ridiculous.
341
00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,695
How much longer do I have to wait
to be discovered?
342
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:44,708
Do what every other American would do.
Skip the hard work and put out a sex tape.
343
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:48,004
No, I'm gonna go out there.
Where's my lipstick?
344
00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:51,259
Here, hold my Shake Weight.
345
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,672
And my Fresca.
346
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:56,335
Oh, hi.
347
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,810
Uh, who do I talk to about getting a part
in this thing?
348
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:04,062
I mean, I already let the guy
who puts out the cookies touch my boobs.
349
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,057
We don't have a guy
who puts out cookies.
350
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:07,479
Yo.
351
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:10,649
Okay, everybody ready. Camera up.
352
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,647
Oh, he looks important.
353
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:13,988
-No. Stop.
-No. Let go.
354
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,453
Not the blood switch.
355
00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,829
(WAILS)
356
00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:24,405
Someone shot Max!
357
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,420
Cut. Tom, get rid of Max too.
358
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,294
Get me another girl.
359
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,550
Typical.
360
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,711
Shoot on my chest
and you're done with me.
361
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,385
Hi. You looking for a new girl?
362
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,308
Last time I looked like this...
363
00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:48,354
...I was coming out of an acid trip
and my friend Daniel was missing.
364
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:53,066
I gotta admit, getting shot felt kind
of gangster waitress.
365
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:56,073
I'm like Notorious BLT.
366
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:59,243
So here's the deal.
We'll pay you for yesterday...
367
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,866
...but not for today
or for the featured extra.
368
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,575
-Say what?
-Not so fast, my brother.
369
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:07,406
Here is the latest tally
for my diner damage.
370
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,712
What's this last $1000 charge?
371
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,245
That is for the damage done
to Max and Caroline.
372
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:16,510
According to crew scuttlebutt, the director
tried some funny business last night.
373
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:17,803
This is not cool, dude.
374
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,177
It is most decidedly not cool, pal.
375
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:25,175
So maybe there is someone in a union
I can talk to about this particular damage?
376
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,941
Not to mention the child labor laws
you violated by working with Han.
377
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,570
Don't talk to anyone. I'll get them paid.
378
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:35,781
This sucks.
I knew we should have shot at a Denny's.
379
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,743
Han, that is the sweetest, coolest thing
you just did for us.
380
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,906
It is. And Caroline is totally gonna put out
for you tonight.
381
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,866
That's kind of her thing now.
382
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:49,117
Well, I don't want anyone
to take advantage of you two.
383
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:50,749
You're my girls.
384
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,916
And tonight on a very special episode
of Funk and Skank...
385
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,916
...the cute tiny Asian guy
turns out to be the girls' pimp.
386
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,299
And the cops-titutes are able to buy
new horse shoes.
387
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,038
English - US - SDH
388
00:21:31,088 --> 00:21:35,638
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32936