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1
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♪ Love ♪
2
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:17,782
♪ Exciting and new ♪
3
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:20,852
♪ Come aboard ♪
4
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:26,703
♪ We're expecting you ♪
5
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:29,260
♪ And love ♪
6
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:34,945
♪ Life's sweetest reward ♪
7
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:36,901
♪ Let it flow ♪
8
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:43,119
♪ It floats back to you ♪
9
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,523
♪ The Love Boat ♪
10
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:51,494
♪ Soon will be
making Another run ♪
11
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,764
♪ The Love Boat ♪
12
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:59,269
♪ Promises something
For everyone ♪
13
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,471
♪ Set a course for adventure ♪
14
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:05,730
♪ Your mind on a new romance ♪
15
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,014
♪ And love ♪
16
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,139
♪ Won't hurt anymore ♪
17
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:19,189
♪ It's an open smile ♪
18
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:23,526
♪ On a friendly shore ♪
19
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:27,998
♪ It's love ♪
20
00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:33,691
♪ Welcome aboard It's love ♪
21
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,666
Gopher. Where have you been?
22
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,023
My car had a flat tire?
23
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:07,403
What's in the bag?
24
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:08,738
Hey, Julie, great
talking to you.
25
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,806
Gotta go.
26
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:10,807
Gopher.
27
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:11,875
Keep in touch.
28
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,347
Gopher. Bye now.
29
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:26,089
Miss McCoy, I always enjoy
greeting the passengers,
30
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,790
but where is
Yeoman Purser Smith,
31
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,060
the officer who
is paid to do it?
32
00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:33,696
Uh, sir, maybe his
car had a flat tire.
33
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,198
Maybe it didn't.
34
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,266
Maybe it didn't.
35
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,755
Mm-hm.
36
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,274
Hi. I'm Julie McCoy,
your cruise director.
37
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:46,643
Oh, hello.
38
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,745
I'm Cynthia Parker. And
this is my daughter, Anne.
39
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,046
Hello.
40
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,314
She's a little self-conscious.
41
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:53,817
She just had, you
know, cosmetic surgery.
42
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,284
Oh, well, you
don't have to worry.
43
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,253
We'll have her feeling
relaxed in no time.
44
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,989
Thank you.
45
00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,880
If you don't mind my
asking, who did your nose?
46
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,861
The man upstairs. Heh.
47
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:07,296
You're lucky to live
in a doctor's building.
48
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,620
Come on, Annie.
49
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,902
Listen, my mom get here yet?
50
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,203
Not yet.
51
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:16,072
But there's still
plenty of time.
52
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,341
You know, this is
the first real vacation
53
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,776
she's had in years.
54
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,077
Well, since my dad died.
55
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:22,478
Yeah, I can't wait to meet her.
56
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:25,314
I have a few things to
tell her about her son.
57
00:03:25,338 --> 00:03:27,183
Not her son.
58
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,484
Her baby.
59
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,854
I mean, she still thinks
of me as kind of a little boy
60
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:31,922
with a teddy bear.
61
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,924
Oh, like the one
tucked in your bed?
62
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,625
Beats sleeping alone.
63
00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:37,961
Listen, just let me know
64
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,896
when my mom
gets here, all right?
65
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,065
Isaac.
66
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,089
Hi.
67
00:03:47,427 --> 00:03:49,467
Hi, baby. Ah.
68
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,277
Mm.
69
00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:55,801
Boy, you sure have
a young mother.
70
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,749
I said, you sure
have a young mother.
71
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,518
I was just remarking about
how young your mother was.
72
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,354
Charlene, what
are you doing here?
73
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,122
I got tired of waiting
for you in port,
74
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,524
so I decided to take a cruise.
75
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,624
Good deciding.
76
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,164
Except one thing:
77
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,367
My mom's coming
on this cruise too.
78
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,635
That's okay.
79
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,770
I don't mind sharing
you with an older woman.
80
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:21,794
Hello.
81
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,609
Babe, I want you to meet Gopher.
82
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:27,978
Gopher, this is my girl.
83
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,245
The one I've been talking about.
84
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,048
Oh, right. Hi, Martha.
85
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,205
Helen? Lisa.
86
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,785
Just kidding, just kidding.
87
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,421
This has to be Charlene, right?
88
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,257
Hi. Welcome aboard.
89
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:42,091
Charlene, um,
90
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,060
I think I'd better show
you to your cabin.
91
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,962
Bye.
92
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,264
You keep an eye out
for my mom? Sure.
93
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,298
Should I let you know when
94
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:51,762
Martha, Helen
and Lisa arrive too?
95
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:54,392
Cute. Very cute.
96
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:58,140
Has a pretty blond, about
5'7," been looking for me?
97
00:04:58,164 --> 00:04:59,141
No.
98
00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:01,077
How about a brunette, 5'4"?
99
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,078
No.
100
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,869
A redhead, 4'10"?
101
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,186
Hi. Welcome aboard.
102
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,288
I'm Julie McCoy.
103
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,856
Well, hello.
104
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,156
I'm Millie Washington.
105
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,726
I'm looking for my son,
Captain Isaac Washington.
106
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,394
"Captain" Isaac Washington?
107
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,164
Well, give him time,
honey. Give him time.
108
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,133
Listen, you know, I thought
109
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,369
that little rascal would be
kind of here to greet me,
110
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:28,004
you know, and show me around.
111
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:31,407
Well, he's probably out sorting
his supplies for the cruise.
112
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,875
Hm.
113
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,145
He's probably chasing some
pretty girl all over this ship.
114
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,780
Give him time. Give him time.
115
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:38,804
Oh.
116
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,122
Oh. Hello, hello, hello.
117
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:48,991
Miss Monroe. Welcome. Oh.
118
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,360
My darling, darling Jenny.
119
00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,361
Julie.
120
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,362
Yeah, of course, Jackie.
121
00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,897
I can't tell you how thrilled
122
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,999
I was to be able to squeeze in
123
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:01,070
another performance
onboard your floating nightclub.
124
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,972
You know, I said to my agent,
125
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,476
you have simply got to
cancel all my other bookings.
126
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,978
By the way, I found
you an accompanist.
127
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,948
Wouldn't you know my pianist
would come down with the flu
128
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,883
the first time in
ages I get a booking.
129
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,885
Oh, I mean... I mean,
a great booking.
130
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,521
Well, this may turn
into a stroke of luck.
131
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,055
I had to pull a few strings,
132
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:23,059
but the accompanist I
found you is dynamite.
133
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,094
Oh, that's wonderful.
134
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:28,765
You know, dear, a good
pianist is hard to find.
135
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,867
But then, so is a good man.
136
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,401
♪ A good man ♪
137
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:33,402
Hi, doll.
138
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:34,637
Hi.
139
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:35,938
Who's the banana?
140
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,875
Lenny Kamen. Mitzi Monroe.
141
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,578
Lenny, I was just
telling Mitzi all about you.
142
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,245
Lenny, what are you doing here?
143
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,981
Is your cage being cleaned?
144
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,683
But I see you two
already know each other.
145
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:48,952
Know each other?
146
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,520
Lenny here is my ex.
147
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:51,521
Ex-partner?
148
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,223
Uh-huh. Ex-partner,
149
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,025
ex-husband, ex-everything,
150
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,716
except ex-citing.
151
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,897
Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't know.
152
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,398
Look, it's no big thing.
153
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,601
We have one more performance
we have to do together.
154
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:06,269
It's not a lifetime.
155
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:10,195
No, it's... It's just going
to seem like a lifetime.
156
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,277
How long were you two married?
157
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,645
Ten years.
158
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,380
That's a long time. Hm.
159
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,849
Funny, it seems
like only yesterday.
160
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:23,007
And you know what a
lousy day yesterday was.
161
00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,088
Hey, Gopher. Huh?
162
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,522
Listen, my mom
get settled in okay?
163
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:01,524
I've been stuck working.
164
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,825
Oh, she's fine.
165
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,761
I got one of the crew
to show her around. Oh.
166
00:08:05,785 --> 00:08:08,030
And this is the Lido Deck.
167
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,865
Oh, my, this is nice.
168
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:11,167
Real nice. Thank you.
169
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,969
I... Oh. Who is that cutie
170
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,503
over there in the red jacket?
171
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,142
Hi, Mom. Oh, yes.
172
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,044
Captain, I see you met my mom.
173
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,780
Yes. And I've never
seen her looking better.
174
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:26,716
Now... You just met
me two minutes ago.
175
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:27,917
Well, you see? I wasn't lying.
176
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,151
Ha-ha.
177
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,153
Well, I hope you enjoy the
cruise, Mrs. Washington.
178
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,089
I'd better, or I'm
gonna complain
179
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,725
to whoever is in
charge around here.
180
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,126
Isaac.
181
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,294
So long, captain.
182
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,162
Sweetheart, now, are
you getting enough to eat?
183
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,264
Enough?
184
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,699
I was thinking about
getting a bigger uniform.
185
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:44,767
Hi.
186
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,169
Oh, Mom, you remember Gopher.
187
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,772
Gopher, you know,
I used to dress Isaac
188
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,374
in little sailor suits like that
189
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,463
before he could walk.
190
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,277
Uh, Mom, ahem,
191
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:56,579
my man here is gonna show you
192
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:59,048
such a fine time
while you're onboard.
193
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,383
I sure am, Mrs. Washington.
194
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,985
Mrs. Washington
was George's mother.
195
00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,355
You call me Millie.
196
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,356
Millie.
197
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,557
Good.
198
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:08,591
Now, look at this uniform.
199
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,092
Look at this.
200
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,994
Here, you got a
tear in here already.
201
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,665
First chance you get, you bring
that coat upstairs to my room.
202
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:18,834
No, it's up the
companionway to my cabin.
203
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:21,837
I don't know
where your cabin is,
204
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,774
but you bring the
coat up to my room.
205
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:26,597
He thinks I deliver. Oh.
206
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,547
Isaac, your mother
is a real dynamo.
207
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,116
You know it.
208
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,584
But there is another dynamo
209
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,452
I also wanna spend
some time with.
210
00:09:37,476 --> 00:09:38,788
Hi, Gopher.
211
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:39,789
Hi, honey.
212
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:40,856
How you doing? Mm. Mmm.
213
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,024
Hi.
214
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,060
Did you know you had
a tear in your jacket?
215
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,929
If you like, I'll
fix it for you.
216
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:47,785
Do you deliver?
217
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,082
Hi.
218
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,383
Oh.
219
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,252
I understand you were
working up in the Poconos.
220
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,253
How'd you like it?
221
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,421
The Poconos?
222
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,423
Oh, the Poconos are like...
223
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,559
They're like mountains
to me, you know?
224
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,161
I mean, they're sort of hilltops
225
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,598
in the valleys of despair.
226
00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:24,367
Actually, I can hardly find
time for the Poconos anymore.
227
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:29,238
It means juggling TV and
Vegas and Tahoe. Heh.
228
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,840
I know exactly what you mean.
229
00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:32,508
Do you know, I have
the very same problem.
230
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:33,509
Really?
231
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,844
Yeah. I have a new manager. Oh.
232
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:36,012
Guy is fantastic. Oh.
233
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,379
Absolutely fantastic.
234
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,582
Course he has me
working the little clubs now,
235
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:40,850
but that's all part of the plan.
236
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,819
Like a fighter, you know,
just bringing me along.
237
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,286
Pretty soon we'll
work out the kinks,
238
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,457
and then it'll be a TV
series, Tahoe, Vegas.
239
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,992
Lenny, who are you kidding?
I know the places you play.
240
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,461
I read the columns.
241
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,051
And I know the places
you play. I read the funnies.
242
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,666
Well, it beats the
7-11 Club in Trenton.
243
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,925
You died there. I
read the obituaries.
244
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,272
Actually, you know, um...
245
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:06,175
I have ten weeks
coming up at the Sahara.
246
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,277
The hotel or the desert?
247
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,079
Hi, guys.
248
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,447
Everything under control?
249
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:12,815
Terrific. It will
be when I can get
250
00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,339
a padlock for his mouth.
251
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,487
Let's face it, Julie.
252
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,189
I can't work with this creep.
253
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,092
If I perform, it's gonna be
without an accompanist.
254
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,884
After she sings four bars,
it'll be without an audience.
255
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,765
Why worry about it, Julie?
256
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:33,336
I'd be absolutely glad to do
the whole show for you solo.
257
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,838
That's a wonderful idea.
258
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,174
He's a regular
Liberace, you know.
259
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,310
Only if he's smart,
he will light the piano
260
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,400
and he'll play the candelabra.
261
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,514
Look, guys,
262
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,949
this is not worth
fighting about.
263
00:11:46,973 --> 00:11:48,383
I'll tell you what.
264
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:51,153
I'll flip a coin, and whoever
calls it goes on alone.
265
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,655
Heads. The other side.
266
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,156
And then whoever doesn't perform
267
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,691
will just pay for their passage,
268
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,160
and then we'll be
square, okay? Uh...
269
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,395
Uh...
270
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,898
Yeah, now... Now... Now,
hold on there just one minute.
271
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,666
I think we're being
a little hasty here.
272
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,336
Yes, yes. I... I-I think
we're being just...
273
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,504
Just a little bit hasty.
274
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,106
I mean, uh... I mean,
without the two of us,
275
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,708
let's face it, there's no act.
276
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,575
That's right, that's
right. I mean, it's like...
277
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,344
It's like, uh, Hepburn
without Tracy.
278
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,247
It's like, uh, Rogers
without Astaire.
279
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,904
Like Goodyear without the blimp.
280
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:24,520
Right. Well, I'm
glad that's settled.
281
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:25,922
See you later.
282
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,865
Hey, how goes it?
283
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,232
Okay, I guess.
284
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,816
Oh, well, give me a call
when you know for sure.
285
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,974
Say, uh, who is
that with my mom?
286
00:12:45,998 --> 00:12:48,377
I haven't a clue.
287
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:49,779
Yeah, well, check it out, man.
288
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,147
I mean, who is this guy?
I mean, what does he do?
289
00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:53,148
Where is he from?
290
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:56,419
Hey. Am I thy mother's keeper?
291
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,723
Ask him yourself.
292
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,329
Oh. Oh, Isaac.
293
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:10,900
This is my son that I haven't
seen in the last 24 hours.
294
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,067
Nice to meet you, son.
295
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,538
Oh, now this is Mr. Roy Harwood.
296
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,539
How do you do?
297
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,074
Hi.
298
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:20,075
Roy's a dentist.
299
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,011
But you won't get any
business in this family.
300
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,480
Isaac's got the best
set of chompers in town.
301
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:25,504
Show him, honey.
302
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:27,716
Oh, show it to him.
303
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:28,884
You know,
304
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,619
we stress dental
health in my family.
305
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:34,323
And we brush after every
meal and floss at bedtime,
306
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:37,392
unless Isaac had
used up all the floss
307
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,261
to hold his model
planes together.
308
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,285
Yeah.
309
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:49,271
Um, yeah, well,
uh, heh... I gotta go.
310
00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:50,906
Can you join us
later for dessert?
311
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:54,877
I'd like to, but I have
to go... and floss.
312
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,513
But, Isaac, wait, I
want to talk to you
313
00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,014
about something
that's important.
314
00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:00,516
Hi. Hi, let's go.
315
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,184
What about dinner?
316
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,486
And I wanted to meet your mom.
317
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,853
Oh, well, I...
318
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:09,091
I thought we would, uh,
you know, first things first.
319
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,327
Well, uh, since
you put it that way.
320
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,631
Anybody ever tell you
you have beautiful teeth?
321
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,922
The best set of
chompers in town.
322
00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:25,429
Oh, thank you.
323
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,509
Okay, I give up, what's
with the doggy bag?
324
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:04,146
Oh, well, it's the
strangest thing,
325
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,215
I've been getting hungry,
but never at meal time.
326
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,084
So this way I always
have food handy.
327
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,440
Mm.
328
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,922
Gopher, did I already
eat my carrots?
329
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,824
Sure did, really
enjoyed them too.
330
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:20,563
Hm. I'm still hungry.
331
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,147
Can I eat your
pota...? Sorry, too late!
332
00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,768
Well, I'm stuffed.
333
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,592
Excuse me. Ahem.
334
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:37,145
Honey, you missed
a wonderful dinner.
335
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,882
I'm not going out with
my nose in a sling.
336
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,249
Take off the bandages.
337
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:44,252
The doctor said you could
take them off weeks ago.
338
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,188
Suppose he didn't do a good job?
339
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,924
Suppose my nose is
worse than it was before?
340
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:53,362
Impossible. You had
your father's nose.
341
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,599
I'm sorry, sweetheart,
that came out backward.
342
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,301
You're going to look wonderful!
343
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,645
Do you want to
put that in writing?
344
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:15,484
Hey, Isaac, you're running
a loose ship here, man.
345
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,042
Uh, what's with the
empty peanut bowls?
346
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,656
I... I thought I
just filled that.
347
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,146
Empty bowls don't lie.
348
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,985
Oh, uh, guy down there.
349
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,845
Hi, Gopher. Hi, Julie.
350
00:16:43,869 --> 00:16:45,636
Well, back to the salt mines.
351
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,692
Hi, Julie. Hi, Isaac.
352
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,093
What's going on? I'm starving.
353
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:00,351
Where's all the peanuts?
354
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:04,421
Is there an elephant
loose around here?
355
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,378
Louise. Louise.
356
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:16,845
Come out, come
out, wherever you are.
357
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,847
I brought dinner.
Come on. Ha-ha.
358
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:21,350
You got a little flower?
You look lovely in it.
359
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,818
Yes, they say that.
360
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:25,821
Uncle Gopher has
for you, some steak,
361
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:30,492
some baked potato, some peanuts,
and for dessert, some carrots.
362
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:34,230
Not just some carrots,
but Julie's carrots.
363
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,032
And Isaac's peanuts.
364
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:38,589
Hi, guys, what's new?
365
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:44,740
Look, I promised a friend
that I'd take care of her.
366
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,676
See, I thought I was
gonna be off duty this week.
367
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,579
Believe me, I was the only
one he could leave her with.
368
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,214
Oh, it figures.
369
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,650
Leave a monkey with
someone who's bananas.
370
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,354
Please, you guys are my buddies.
371
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,657
You gotta promise you won't
tell anybody I have her on board.
372
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:03,681
Please?
373
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,996
What's a few
peanuts more or less?
374
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,065
Julie?
375
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,232
I haven't eaten.
376
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,867
I haven't the strength to tell.
377
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,029
Oh, that's just her
way of saying thanks.
378
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,758
Annie, please, just
come out for a minute.
379
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,660
I want you to meet Dr. Bricker.
380
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:38,761
No way.
381
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,729
I just want you to meet him.
382
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,866
Mother... Let her be.
383
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,469
She'll take the bandages
off in her own good time.
384
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,370
But she's missing
a terrific cruise
385
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:51,240
and there are so many
nice people aboard.
386
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,775
You, for example.
387
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,376
You're so right.
388
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,610
Come on, let's have breakfast.
389
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,179
All right.
390
00:18:57,203 --> 00:18:59,614
You see my sunglasses?
391
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:03,151
Uh... no.
392
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,055
Besides, I'm the one
who needs sunglasses.
393
00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:07,455
You're dazzling.
394
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,379
You're so right.
395
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:18,867
Come on, Louise, where
did you get those sunglasses?
396
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,371
You stole them, didn't you?
397
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:27,865
Listen, Louise, how did
you get out of here, anyway?
398
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,419
That's not funny, Louise.
399
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,162
You're late.
400
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,232
Well, good, I won't have
to listen to you play so long.
401
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:54,536
Now, I thought we'd start
with "A Salute to the '50s."
402
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,371
What are we saluting, your age?
403
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:58,907
Why don't we make it the 1850s?
404
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,698
We'll be saluting your jokes.
405
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,112
Could we get started?
406
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,214
Boy, am I cold.
407
00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:07,049
Haven't changed a bit, have you?
408
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:10,552
Okay, "Fascination" in E, right?
409
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:11,553
E flat.
410
00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:14,556
The "flat" part I remember.
411
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,492
Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha.
412
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:22,764
♪ It was fascina... ♪
413
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:23,933
Oh.
414
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:26,201
My sentiments exactly.
415
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,738
One more time.
416
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:36,811
♪ It was fascina-na-na... ♪
417
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,580
"Fascina-na-na"?
418
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,351
Aren't you going
to say gesundheit?
419
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,286
I was thinking of
auf Wiedersehen.
420
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:47,021
Oh, boy, you know how
I hate air conditioning,
421
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,957
so you had them turn it
up full blast, didn't you?
422
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,093
I had them turn
it up full? I ha...
423
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,661
I'm not running the ship.
424
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:58,233
Look, let's take it from the top
one more time if you don't mind.
425
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:07,409
♪ It was fascina... ♪
426
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,177
Look, lover boy, in
case you've forgotten,
427
00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,046
the tempo was this:
428
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:16,084
♪ It was fascination, I know ♪
429
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,085
Wrong.
430
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,755
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
431
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,156
It was this:
432
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,759
♪ It was fascination, I know ♪
433
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,161
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!
434
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:38,540
Who is it?
435
00:21:38,564 --> 00:21:40,409
Oh, it's Yeoman
Purser Smith, ma'am.
436
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:45,214
I found these sunglasses with
the name Cynthia Parker on them.
437
00:21:45,238 --> 00:21:46,837
They're my mother's.
438
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,752
Bye.
439
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:53,955
Uh, thank you.
440
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:55,979
You're welcome.
441
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,195
I haven't seen you
on the ship before.
442
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,997
Are you hiding out
for some reason?
443
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:03,365
Well, uh...
444
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:06,402
Bet you're an actress or a
model traveling incognito, huh?
445
00:22:07,426 --> 00:22:08,537
No.
446
00:22:08,561 --> 00:22:09,938
No?
447
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:13,207
Well, whoever you are,
448
00:22:13,231 --> 00:22:16,045
you have the most
beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
449
00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:17,880
In the world.
450
00:22:17,904 --> 00:22:19,481
In the whole world.
451
00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:21,216
Thank you.
452
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,306
You're very welcome.
453
00:23:00,746 --> 00:23:02,290
Don't worry, it's me. I'm alone.
454
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,691
Don't go running
into the bathroom.
455
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,727
I'm taking the bandages off.
456
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:06,995
You are?
457
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,730
Oh, Annie, I can
hardly wait to see it.
458
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:10,865
Close your eyes, I'll tell
you when you can look.
459
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:12,689
Yes, dear, I understand.
460
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:23,834
Almost ready.
461
00:23:47,893 --> 00:23:49,972
Isaac, you know,
you're a lucky guy.
462
00:23:49,996 --> 00:23:52,474
Yeah, tell me about it.
463
00:23:52,498 --> 00:23:54,978
I mean, you're lucky to
have such a super mom.
464
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,282
What is that guy
trying to prove?
465
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:02,551
Holding her like that.
466
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:04,152
I think he's trying to prove
467
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:06,288
that she's a beautiful,
desirable woman.
468
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:09,858
She is not. She is my mother.
469
00:24:09,882 --> 00:24:11,225
Well, you know what I mean.
470
00:24:11,249 --> 00:24:14,050
I mean, she has no idea
what these cruise ships are like.
471
00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:17,613
What are they like, sweetie?
472
00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:25,095
What is she doing?
473
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:29,133
Same thing we were doing.
474
00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:31,346
Charlene,
475
00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:34,182
I am not throwing
myself at a dentist.
476
00:24:34,206 --> 00:24:36,473
I'm gonna go put a stop to this.
477
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:43,024
Lighten up and let
them enjoy themselves.
478
00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:46,194
And besides, it's
time for your break
479
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:49,286
and Charlene has
plans for her Isaac.
480
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:54,269
Mm. Say what...? What...?
What kind of plans?
481
00:24:54,293 --> 00:24:56,271
Mm, interesting plans.
482
00:24:56,295 --> 00:25:00,064
You see, this hot
blood runs in my family.
483
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:05,113
I got a feeling that
it runs in mine too.
484
00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,649
Of course, if
you'd rather not...
485
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,551
Whoa, whoa.
W-w-wait a minute now.
486
00:25:09,575 --> 00:25:11,353
I'm with you.
487
00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:14,945
I mean, who can
fight all this hot blood?
488
00:25:29,428 --> 00:25:31,061
Come in.
489
00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:34,264
Ah.
490
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:42,851
Mama, uh, I came
to drop off the jacket.
491
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:45,220
Now, didn't you see
the sign in my window?
492
00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:48,489
In by 9, out by 5.
493
00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:51,314
This late, it'll cost you extra.
494
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:56,320
Mom, I came here
to straighten you out.
495
00:25:57,122 --> 00:25:58,467
Well...
496
00:25:58,491 --> 00:26:01,336
what I mean is, I've been
on this ship a long time
497
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,204
and there are men who
come on these cruises
498
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,739
looking for one thing.
499
00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:07,575
Oh, honey. Thanks for the tip.
500
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:11,046
You're my dear son,
not my "Dear Abby."
501
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:15,739
Mom, we gotta have a talk.
502
00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:17,985
Oh, not now.
503
00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:19,821
Mama's gotta get
her beauty sleep.
504
00:26:19,845 --> 00:26:21,456
But it'll only take
a few minutes.
505
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,158
He's right, Millie.
506
00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:24,526
Let's talk this out now.
507
00:26:24,550 --> 00:26:25,727
What is he doing here?
508
00:26:25,751 --> 00:26:27,996
What are you doing
in my mother's cabin?
509
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:30,487
It's as much his cabin as mine.
510
00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:32,801
What's that supposed to mean?
511
00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:34,524
We're roommates.
512
00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:37,706
We came on this cruise together.
513
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:40,097
I wanted to talk to you,
but I haven't had a chance.
514
00:26:41,900 --> 00:26:44,340
Yeah, I can see
you've been too busy.
515
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:46,948
Not me. You.
516
00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:49,518
You see, this is not the
kind of thing you can whisper
517
00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:53,443
in your son's ear while he's
mixing a Harvey Wallbanger.
518
00:26:55,314 --> 00:26:58,560
Your mother and I have been
going together for six months.
519
00:26:58,584 --> 00:26:59,584
Going together?
520
00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:02,130
I wanna marry her, Isaac.
521
00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,333
Yeah, well, what's
holding you back?
522
00:27:04,357 --> 00:27:07,969
Now, listen, we're in love,
523
00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:11,195
but I'm just not sure
that I want to get married.
524
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:17,312
You get my age, it takes
longer to make that big decision.
525
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:19,881
Oh, I can understand that.
526
00:27:19,905 --> 00:27:20,982
Instead of getting married,
527
00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:22,551
you wanna be some
sort of a swinger.
528
00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:41,035
Absolutely terrible. Who
would do such a thing?
529
00:27:41,059 --> 00:27:42,804
I was only out of the
cabin for 20 minutes.
530
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,839
Don't worry, we'll get
to the bottom of this.
531
00:27:44,863 --> 00:27:46,207
You wanted to see me, sir?
532
00:27:46,231 --> 00:27:49,544
Uh, yes, uh, Mrs. Parker's
room was ransacked by a thief.
533
00:27:49,568 --> 00:27:51,279
Her diamond broach was stolen.
534
00:27:51,303 --> 00:27:53,314
It was round with 38 diamonds
535
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:55,751
and a two-pronged
pin on the back.
536
00:27:55,775 --> 00:27:57,018
And it was my grandmother's.
537
00:27:57,042 --> 00:27:58,720
Now, pass this on
to the rest of the crew.
538
00:27:58,744 --> 00:28:00,221
I want that thief caught.
539
00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:02,356
He is not going to get
away with this on my ship.
540
00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:05,126
That's male chauvinism,
sir. Could be a lady.
541
00:28:05,150 --> 00:28:06,628
Sorry.
542
00:28:06,652 --> 00:28:09,130
Just find him, her or it.
543
00:28:09,154 --> 00:28:10,314
Yes, sir.
544
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:14,645
Excuse me.
545
00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,128
Oh, hi.
546
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:20,230
Hi.
547
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,160
Are you sure you're
not an actress?
548
00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:26,981
Gopher.
549
00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:28,049
What?
550
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,740
Sir! Yes. I-I'm on my way. Yes.
551
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,336
Louise.
552
00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:37,106
Louise?
553
00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:41,578
Louise.
554
00:29:49,254 --> 00:29:50,431
Louise.
555
00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:04,667
Now, how can I help you?
556
00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:10,084
I, uh, haven't known you
long, Mrs. Washington,
557
00:30:10,108 --> 00:30:12,754
but that is not the same
happy woman I met
558
00:30:12,778 --> 00:30:14,156
less than a week ago.
559
00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:16,525
What's the problem?
560
00:30:16,549 --> 00:30:21,195
Well, um, Roy and I would
like to get off at the next port
561
00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:23,230
and fly home.
562
00:30:23,254 --> 00:30:26,001
That's if you could help us
with the plane reservations.
563
00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:28,203
Why? Aren't you
having a good time?
564
00:30:28,227 --> 00:30:32,373
Well, Roy and I came
on the cruise together
565
00:30:32,397 --> 00:30:35,343
and, uh, we share a cabin.
566
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:36,912
Mm-hm.
567
00:30:36,936 --> 00:30:39,135
But Isaac doesn't approve.
568
00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,050
Oh.
569
00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:45,720
And, uh, I don't wanna cause
him any further embarrassment.
570
00:30:45,744 --> 00:30:48,055
Hm. You know,
it's a strange thing
571
00:30:48,079 --> 00:30:50,125
about the young people today.
572
00:30:50,149 --> 00:30:52,660
When they do the bump
and the hustle, it's fun.
573
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,963
When we do it,
we're being silly.
574
00:30:54,987 --> 00:30:59,701
One rule for them,
another rule for us.
575
00:31:01,927 --> 00:31:03,838
I love this lady, captain.
576
00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,574
And I don't wanna see her hurt.
577
00:31:05,598 --> 00:31:07,308
Have you told that to Isaac?
578
00:31:07,332 --> 00:31:11,079
Yes, but his ears
are all stopped up.
579
00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:14,849
I just didn't think
that a child of mine
580
00:31:14,873 --> 00:31:18,086
would turn out to be
so prim and proper.
581
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:20,554
Isaac? Prim and proper?
582
00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:25,293
Do you remember meeting
a young woman onboard
583
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:27,762
by the name of Charlene Franks?
584
00:31:27,786 --> 00:31:30,065
Oh, that's... That's
Isaac's girlfriend.
585
00:31:30,089 --> 00:31:31,666
Mm-hm.
586
00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:33,322
One rule for them...
587
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,193
another rule for us.
588
00:32:09,628 --> 00:32:10,605
Hi.
589
00:32:10,629 --> 00:32:12,107
Hi.
590
00:32:12,131 --> 00:32:14,276
Oh, hello, Gopher. Any
news on my broach?
591
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,899
Not yet, ma'am,
but we're closing in.
592
00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:20,815
May I join you?
593
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:22,305
Of course you may.
594
00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:29,724
Gopher.
595
00:32:29,748 --> 00:32:31,926
Uh, Doc, hi. You surprise me.
596
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:35,196
I had no idea you had such
excellent taste in young ladies.
597
00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:38,766
Oh. Yeah, she's
sensational, isn't she?
598
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,757
I mean, the other young lady.
599
00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:44,572
Oh.
600
00:32:44,596 --> 00:32:46,941
Cynthia, would
you care to dance?
601
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,498
I'd love to.
602
00:32:54,439 --> 00:32:56,717
I'm glad you came over.
603
00:32:56,741 --> 00:32:58,954
So am I. So am I.
604
00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:03,491
I was, um... I was thinking
maybe later we could go for a walk.
605
00:33:03,515 --> 00:33:06,093
The moon is beautiful tonight.
606
00:33:06,117 --> 00:33:09,064
Yeah. Yeah.
607
00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:11,448
Would you excuse me a minute?
608
00:33:15,961 --> 00:33:17,305
Hi. Excuse me.
609
00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,828
Mind if I cut in?
610
00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:21,732
Thanks.
611
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:39,193
Uh, Gopher? Hm?
612
00:33:39,217 --> 00:33:40,995
Buzz off. You've
got your own girl.
613
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,753
Oh. You're a terrific dancer.
614
00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:53,341
Now, where were we?
615
00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:56,344
Oh, Annie, I'm sorry
about that interruption.
616
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:59,581
I just wanted to make a
good impression on your mom.
617
00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:01,816
Oh. Yeah.
618
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,985
Um, would you like
to take a brandy along
619
00:34:05,009 --> 00:34:07,710
when we go for that
stroll in the moonlight?
620
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,615
I'll be right back.
621
00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:21,959
Louise!
622
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:34,816
Cynthia, there's
something about you
623
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,684
that makes me go
weak in the knees.
624
00:34:36,708 --> 00:34:38,285
Oh, Adam.
625
00:34:38,309 --> 00:34:41,344
No, I'm not kidding. Hold me up.
626
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,081
Oh.
627
00:35:06,438 --> 00:35:08,404
Bricker, you haven't lost it.
628
00:35:10,408 --> 00:35:12,353
And this time, it ain't
just some peanuts.
629
00:35:12,377 --> 00:35:14,621
I'm missing a case
of swizzle sticks
630
00:35:14,645 --> 00:35:16,023
and a Waring blender.
631
00:35:16,047 --> 00:35:17,091
Louise.
632
00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:18,826
And I'm missing a pair of shoes,
633
00:35:18,850 --> 00:35:22,230
some pantyhose and
my brand-new bikini.
634
00:35:22,254 --> 00:35:23,498
Louise.
635
00:35:23,522 --> 00:35:25,066
Okay, Louise.
636
00:35:25,090 --> 00:35:26,901
Now, where is the little monkey?
637
00:35:26,925 --> 00:35:30,004
That's just it, I'm
missing a chimpanzee.
638
00:35:31,930 --> 00:35:33,475
Does she usually knock?
639
00:35:33,499 --> 00:35:36,099
Only when she forgets her keys.
640
00:35:40,005 --> 00:35:41,382
Anne.
641
00:35:41,406 --> 00:35:44,185
Gopher. What's going on?
642
00:35:44,209 --> 00:35:46,020
You stood me up.
643
00:35:46,044 --> 00:35:48,956
Um... ANNE: Oh.
644
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,792
Why didn't you tell me
you had another girl?
645
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:54,027
Oh, that's not another
girl. That's just Julie.
646
00:35:54,051 --> 00:35:56,219
Oh, hey, thanks a lot.
647
00:35:57,389 --> 00:35:59,033
Well, I thought
that you and I...
648
00:35:59,057 --> 00:36:01,735
I do. We are. We will.
649
00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:05,328
But, Annie, um, there
are complications.
650
00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:07,842
It was horrible.
651
00:36:07,866 --> 00:36:11,245
A hairy little man in a dress.
652
00:36:11,269 --> 00:36:13,514
Don't be silly. It was
just Gopher's monkey.
653
00:36:13,538 --> 00:36:14,616
We'll get your bag back.
654
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,850
Dr. Bricker.
655
00:36:15,874 --> 00:36:17,285
Um, evening, captain.
656
00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:20,254
Showing Mrs. Parker
the crew's quarters?
657
00:36:20,278 --> 00:36:21,655
Something like that.
658
00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:23,721
Ah!
659
00:36:30,088 --> 00:36:32,166
This may sound silly,
660
00:36:32,190 --> 00:36:35,369
but I think I just
saw a chimpanzee
661
00:36:35,393 --> 00:36:39,107
walk into Yeoman
Purser Smith's cabin.
662
00:36:39,131 --> 00:36:41,264
Are you sure it
was a chimpanzee?
663
00:36:47,739 --> 00:36:50,217
Here's your hairy little man.
664
00:36:50,241 --> 00:36:51,541
Here's your bag.
665
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:55,656
And here's my broach.
666
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,324
I told you there was
nothing to worry about.
667
00:36:57,348 --> 00:36:59,748
- Gopher.
- Buy you a drink.
668
00:37:00,485 --> 00:37:02,129
Sir, I'm sorry, I...
669
00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:04,031
It's my fault for bringing
Louise on the ship.
670
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:05,900
I'm responsible for everything.
671
00:37:05,924 --> 00:37:08,202
You will report to my office
first thing in the morning.
672
00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:09,391
Yes, sir.
673
00:37:10,295 --> 00:37:12,072
With your bags packed.
674
00:37:12,096 --> 00:37:14,431
You'll be going
ashore in Ensenada.
675
00:37:19,137 --> 00:37:21,504
Well, I guess I'd
better get packed.
676
00:37:31,817 --> 00:37:33,483
Louise!
677
00:37:41,994 --> 00:37:43,771
Uh, Captain Stubing.
678
00:37:43,795 --> 00:37:47,908
Uh, captain, you're not
gonna fire Gopher, are you?
679
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:50,844
Miss Parker, I understand
your personal involvement,
680
00:37:50,868 --> 00:37:52,146
but this is ship's business.
681
00:37:52,170 --> 00:37:54,115
I'd prefer not discussing
it with a passenger.
682
00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:56,417
Good night. Uh, captain.
683
00:37:56,441 --> 00:37:58,052
The monkey's mine.
684
00:37:58,076 --> 00:38:01,889
I... I didn't wanna leave it
home so I brought it with me.
685
00:38:01,913 --> 00:38:04,559
Gopher was protecting me.
686
00:38:04,583 --> 00:38:07,161
If anyone should be
punished, it should be me.
687
00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:09,297
Then it will be.
688
00:38:09,321 --> 00:38:10,987
What are you gonna do?
689
00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:26,702
Enter.
690
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:41,751
I'm ready to leave now, sir.
691
00:38:43,688 --> 00:38:44,720
Leave?
692
00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:49,192
Nothing could be
further from my mind.
693
00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:53,174
Until last night, Mr. Smith,
694
00:38:53,198 --> 00:38:56,310
I thought that old-fashioned
chivalry was dead.
695
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:59,714
That the days when a young
man would put himself in jeopardy
696
00:38:59,738 --> 00:39:02,483
for the honor of a young
lady had gone out with...
697
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:04,285
With the tango.
698
00:39:04,309 --> 00:39:06,320
But, sir... No buts.
699
00:39:06,344 --> 00:39:08,423
Now, you put
your job on the line
700
00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:12,393
to save the embarrassment
of one of the passengers.
701
00:39:12,417 --> 00:39:14,561
I'm proud of you.
702
00:39:14,585 --> 00:39:17,264
But, sir... No buts.
703
00:39:17,288 --> 00:39:19,021
Let's get back to work.
704
00:39:19,857 --> 00:39:20,857
Yes, sir.
705
00:39:23,227 --> 00:39:25,206
Now, what did I do with my cap?
706
00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:30,900
Morning, captain.
707
00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:38,385
Okay, baby, I'm ready.
708
00:39:38,409 --> 00:39:39,720
Let's go swimming.
709
00:39:39,744 --> 00:39:41,456
I don't feel like it.
710
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,058
Isaac, why don't you go
apologize to your mom?
711
00:39:44,082 --> 00:39:45,292
Apologize? For what?
712
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:47,028
I was only trying
to protect her.
713
00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:48,562
Protect her?
714
00:39:48,586 --> 00:39:52,266
I wonder how she got along
all these years without you.
715
00:39:52,290 --> 00:39:54,334
Isaac, you flew the
coup a long time ago,
716
00:39:54,358 --> 00:39:57,104
now it's time for her
to spread her wings.
717
00:39:57,128 --> 00:39:59,707
I don't understand
your attitude at all.
718
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:02,643
That's because
it's not your mother.
719
00:40:02,667 --> 00:40:05,646
Hey. A mom can't
hold onto her son,
720
00:40:05,670 --> 00:40:08,204
and a son can't
hold onto his mom.
721
00:40:11,209 --> 00:40:13,054
Mm.
722
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,610
Just a second.
723
00:40:17,114 --> 00:40:18,114
Mm-ah...
724
00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:20,060
I'm sorry.
725
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:21,329
Your jacket's fixed.
726
00:40:21,353 --> 00:40:22,463
Thanks.
727
00:40:22,487 --> 00:40:24,799
Well, actually, I came
to warn Charlene.
728
00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:27,335
You know, honey, there
are men on these cruises
729
00:40:27,359 --> 00:40:30,092
who are only
looking for one thing.
730
00:40:31,162 --> 00:40:32,540
Well, it's not that way at all.
731
00:40:32,564 --> 00:40:36,031
I mean, you and I have been
going together for a long time.
732
00:40:37,469 --> 00:40:40,114
Well, what I mean is...
Well, this is different.
733
00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:43,417
The only difference
is I'm not your mother.
734
00:40:43,441 --> 00:40:45,919
Seems to me you got
two sets of standards.
735
00:40:45,943 --> 00:40:47,922
One for me. And one for me.
736
00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:51,592
Uh, ladies, ladies, oh, you
completely misunderstand
737
00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:53,161
what I've been trying to say.
738
00:40:53,185 --> 00:40:55,496
Mm-mm. I can't
wait to hear this.
739
00:40:55,520 --> 00:41:00,023
Well, what I'm
trying to say is...
740
00:41:05,363 --> 00:41:08,209
I guess you're both
100 percent right
741
00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:10,232
and I've been a damn fool.
742
00:41:11,202 --> 00:41:12,846
We're not 100 percent right.
743
00:41:12,870 --> 00:41:13,848
Oh, no.
744
00:41:13,872 --> 00:41:16,184
Maybe, uh, 99.
745
00:41:17,742 --> 00:41:19,286
I guess a son never thinks
746
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:21,443
any man is good
enough for his mom.
747
00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:26,193
You know, it takes a man
to admit when he's wrong.
748
00:41:26,217 --> 00:41:27,983
And I raised a man.
749
00:41:29,221 --> 00:41:32,065
Who sure knows how
to pick a good woman.
750
00:41:32,089 --> 00:41:33,667
And a pretty one too.
751
00:41:40,131 --> 00:41:41,131
Ooh.
752
00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:52,253
Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we have
753
00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:54,322
a very special treat for you.
754
00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:56,790
There aren't many performers
who have a way with a song
755
00:41:56,814 --> 00:42:00,216
like the lovely and
talented Mitzi Monroe.
756
00:42:04,089 --> 00:42:05,699
And not many
musicians have a way
757
00:42:05,723 --> 00:42:07,034
with those black and whites
758
00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:09,759
like the nimble-fingered
Lenny Kamen.
759
00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:14,608
Well, tonight, for the
first time in a long time,
760
00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:16,243
they're back together again.
761
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:17,378
Ladies and gentlemen,
762
00:42:17,402 --> 00:42:20,669
the musical magic
of Mitzi and Lenny.
763
00:42:24,809 --> 00:42:27,354
How do you expect me to
play with my finger in a sling?
764
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:29,690
Fake it. That's
what you usually do.
765
00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:30,813
Now, listen...
766
00:42:40,758 --> 00:42:41,736
Well, then...
767
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,337
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
768
00:42:43,361 --> 00:42:45,773
and welcome to the
Acapulco Lounge.
769
00:42:45,797 --> 00:42:47,474
I hope that you'll
bear with me tonight,
770
00:42:47,498 --> 00:42:50,177
but as you can see, I'll be
playing with a bum hand.
771
00:42:50,201 --> 00:42:53,347
Yes. That's why he
plays a bum piano.
772
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:57,284
Oh, but seriously,
ladies and gentlemen,
773
00:42:57,308 --> 00:43:00,888
ahem, I do hope that you
will excuse my laryngitis.
774
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:02,722
Ahem. You shouldn't
have mentioned it.
775
00:43:02,746 --> 00:43:04,791
The way you sing, they
never would have noticed.
776
00:43:08,887 --> 00:43:10,330
Well, could we, um...?
777
00:43:10,354 --> 00:43:12,566
Could we just take it
from the top, please?
778
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,835
Why? You've never
started there before.
779
00:43:17,395 --> 00:43:21,108
Oh, my, isn't he
a bundle of fun?
780
00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:24,845
Ladies and gentlemen,
you must forgive my partner,
781
00:43:24,869 --> 00:43:26,380
but she's been
working alone recently
782
00:43:26,404 --> 00:43:28,849
and she's not used to
such large audiences.
783
00:43:28,873 --> 00:43:30,884
Is that so?
784
00:43:30,908 --> 00:43:33,119
Well, I'll have you know
that the last place I played in,
785
00:43:33,143 --> 00:43:35,156
my closing night,
the ropes were up.
786
00:43:35,180 --> 00:43:36,924
The boss was hanging himself.
787
00:43:41,986 --> 00:43:44,954
Well, uh, could we just
have an arpeggio, please?
788
00:43:48,392 --> 00:43:51,105
And that was with his good hand.
789
00:43:52,364 --> 00:43:56,109
Look, could you just give
me a simple introduction?
790
00:43:56,133 --> 00:43:57,410
Certainly.
791
00:43:57,434 --> 00:43:59,312
Captain Stubing, this is Mitzi.
792
00:43:59,336 --> 00:44:01,281
Mitzi, this is Captain Stubing.
793
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:03,684
Julie, Mitzi. Mitzi, Julie.
794
00:44:03,708 --> 00:44:05,019
Gopher, Doc.
795
00:44:05,043 --> 00:44:06,954
Yes, yes, yes.
796
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:08,956
It's going to be that
kind of an evening, is it?
797
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:11,291
Well, well, well,
ladies and gentlemen,
798
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,394
I think you might be
interested in knowing
799
00:44:13,418 --> 00:44:16,998
that I was once
married to this clown.
800
00:44:17,022 --> 00:44:20,835
My mother wanted me to marry
a doctor, but I compromised.
801
00:44:20,859 --> 00:44:22,703
I married a sickness.
802
00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:28,843
Okay, let's talk
about our marriage,
803
00:44:28,867 --> 00:44:29,977
which, at one time,
804
00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:32,134
was commonly referred
to as The Gong Show.
805
00:44:34,706 --> 00:44:37,217
Whee. Heh. Yes, yes.
806
00:44:37,241 --> 00:44:39,653
They were going to make a
movie based on our marriage,
807
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,511
but you can't have
two films called Rocky.
808
00:44:43,915 --> 00:44:47,061
So they made one about
Mitzi and called it Jaws.
809
00:44:59,230 --> 00:45:00,396
Come in.
810
00:45:01,299 --> 00:45:02,709
Hi. Hi.
811
00:45:02,733 --> 00:45:04,711
Would you believe I
couldn't get into my cabin?
812
00:45:04,735 --> 00:45:07,014
I was mobbed by
autograph hounds.
813
00:45:07,038 --> 00:45:08,716
Took me two hours
to sign two autographs.
814
00:45:08,740 --> 00:45:09,784
Why so long?
815
00:45:09,808 --> 00:45:11,185
One of them didn't want it.
816
00:45:12,843 --> 00:45:14,677
They really loved us.
817
00:45:15,646 --> 00:45:18,347
Well, that's the key word: "us."
818
00:45:19,183 --> 00:45:20,394
You're right.
819
00:45:20,418 --> 00:45:22,730
I never could have
gone on alone tonight.
820
00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:25,765
Oh, I stink at the best of
times, well, with this voice.
821
00:45:25,789 --> 00:45:27,667
Oh, come on, honey,
you've got a great voice.
822
00:45:27,691 --> 00:45:29,870
It was always my piano
playing that held us back.
823
00:45:29,894 --> 00:45:32,740
That's true. Yes, that's...
824
00:45:32,764 --> 00:45:35,775
Come on, you know I was kidding.
825
00:45:35,799 --> 00:45:37,311
You know, it was kinda cute.
826
00:45:37,335 --> 00:45:38,979
I think we should
put it in the act.
827
00:45:39,003 --> 00:45:40,014
The act?
828
00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:43,617
Yeah, you know, you,
me, Vegas, Tahoe, TV.
829
00:45:43,641 --> 00:45:45,207
Oh, Lenny.
830
00:45:50,147 --> 00:45:51,214
I miss those.
831
00:45:52,317 --> 00:45:54,961
Me too.
832
00:45:54,985 --> 00:45:58,499
You know, uh, I was thinking,
833
00:45:58,523 --> 00:46:01,134
uh, I'm much too excited
to sleep tonight and... And...
834
00:46:01,158 --> 00:46:05,238
And you probably are too,
so, uh, I was thinking that, uh...
835
00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:09,109
Well, may... Maybe you could
just stay here for a while and...
836
00:46:09,133 --> 00:46:12,146
And... And maybe
we could, um, uh, uh...
837
00:46:12,170 --> 00:46:13,681
Rehearse.
838
00:46:13,705 --> 00:46:14,948
Rehearse. That's a good idea.
839
00:46:14,972 --> 00:46:16,950
I always say keep
doing it till you get it right.
840
00:46:16,974 --> 00:46:18,686
Okay, now, let's see, I say:
841
00:46:18,710 --> 00:46:21,088
"Our marriage was referred
to as The Gong Show."
842
00:46:21,112 --> 00:46:22,990
Laugh, laugh, laugh.
And then you say:
843
00:46:23,014 --> 00:46:25,658
"You can't have two
movies called Rocky."
844
00:46:25,682 --> 00:46:28,584
Laugh, laugh, laugh.
845
00:46:33,224 --> 00:46:34,301
That's what I always say:
846
00:46:34,325 --> 00:46:36,770
"Keep doing it
till you get it right."
847
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:38,327
Oh, yeah.
848
00:47:04,588 --> 00:47:06,166
See you tomorrow night.
849
00:47:06,190 --> 00:47:07,467
You know it.
850
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:09,069
Can we give you a
lift home, Charlene?
851
00:47:09,093 --> 00:47:10,671
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
852
00:47:10,695 --> 00:47:11,805
Oh.
853
00:47:11,829 --> 00:47:14,107
You liberated women
sure do stick together.
854
00:47:14,131 --> 00:47:15,131
Oh.
855
00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:17,677
Bye, Mama. Uh-oh.
856
00:47:17,701 --> 00:47:18,779
Mm-hm.
857
00:47:18,803 --> 00:47:19,813
So long, Roy.
858
00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,415
Thanks for being
so understanding.
859
00:47:21,439 --> 00:47:22,983
Hey, it's no big thing.
860
00:47:23,007 --> 00:47:25,952
I hope we get to see
a lot of each other, son.
861
00:47:25,976 --> 00:47:28,255
Well, I guess it's a little
soon to be calling you "son."
862
00:47:28,279 --> 00:47:32,726
Listen, you just keep loving my
mama and keeping her happy,
863
00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,962
and you can call me
anything you want.
864
00:47:34,986 --> 00:47:38,365
Oh, bless you, honey. Bless you.
865
00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:40,767
Your mother was
right about one thing...
866
00:47:40,791 --> 00:47:42,369
What's that?
867
00:47:42,393 --> 00:47:44,872
You do have great teeth.
868
00:47:59,477 --> 00:48:01,955
If I wasn't so cheap,
I'd give you 10 percent.
869
00:48:01,979 --> 00:48:04,124
She's right. As an
agent, you're fantastic.
870
00:48:04,148 --> 00:48:06,159
As a cruise director, mm.
871
00:48:06,183 --> 00:48:09,796
Well, hey, I'm
happy for both of you.
872
00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:12,399
Who knows, we may
even tie the knot again.
873
00:48:12,423 --> 00:48:13,667
Except this time around,
874
00:48:13,691 --> 00:48:15,535
we intend to keep the
fighting where it belongs,
875
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:16,703
out on that stage.
876
00:48:16,727 --> 00:48:17,871
That's right, my darling.
877
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:19,573
That's where you
belong, out on that stage.
878
00:48:19,597 --> 00:48:21,742
As a matter of fact, there's
one leaving in five minutes.
879
00:48:21,766 --> 00:48:23,210
Oh, that's the comedy, huh?
880
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:24,578
How about going back to music?
881
00:48:24,602 --> 00:48:25,979
How about going
back to your mother?
882
00:48:26,003 --> 00:48:27,936
Oh, jeez. Bye.
883
00:48:30,774 --> 00:48:32,253
Very good idea of yours,
884
00:48:32,277 --> 00:48:34,221
having the three
of us leave together.
885
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:36,123
I just hope we can
make it a twosome soon.
886
00:48:36,147 --> 00:48:37,657
You mean, you and her?
887
00:48:37,681 --> 00:48:39,059
I mean, you and me.
888
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:40,994
Can I call you when
I drop Louise off?
889
00:48:41,018 --> 00:48:42,018
You better.
890
00:48:44,589 --> 00:48:45,954
Come on, Louise.
891
00:48:47,191 --> 00:48:49,370
Well, Cynthia, you
got your broach back.
892
00:48:49,394 --> 00:48:51,304
Yes, but I may just
have lost my heart.
893
00:48:51,328 --> 00:48:52,539
Lost your heart?
894
00:48:52,563 --> 00:48:55,063
Check with Gopher, his
chimp's probably got it.
895
00:48:55,633 --> 00:48:56,610
Goodbye, Adam.
896
00:48:56,634 --> 00:48:57,634
Goodbye.
897
00:49:08,279 --> 00:49:09,279
Louise!
898
00:49:13,817 --> 00:49:15,062
Louise!
899
00:49:15,086 --> 00:49:16,086
Louise.
62714
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