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1
00:00:30,933 --> 00:00:35,597
Barkeep, what's
the drunkest I can get for, um,
2
00:00:35,638 --> 00:00:37,105
two bucks?
3
00:00:37,139 --> 00:00:38,504
For two bucks
I can let you drink
4
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,701
everything that spilled
on my overpour mat tonight...
5
00:00:40,743 --> 00:00:42,210
Splatmat Special.
6
00:00:42,244 --> 00:00:44,712
That sounds terrible.
7
00:00:44,747 --> 00:00:47,011
Bring it.
8
00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:03,598
- Third-wheeling it, huh?
- Huh?
9
00:01:06,268 --> 00:01:08,896
Oh, yeah.
They're just friends from work.
10
00:01:08,937 --> 00:01:11,337
You want some advice?
11
00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:13,136
Watch your back
around those two.
12
00:01:13,175 --> 00:01:17,009
- Watch my back?
- Couples are not to be trusted.
13
00:01:18,514 --> 00:01:20,448
We just work together.
14
00:01:20,482 --> 00:01:22,507
Yeah, it all seems innocent,
15
00:01:22,551 --> 00:01:24,815
till one day
you're sitting in a bar,
16
00:01:24,853 --> 00:01:28,254
telling a stranger about
how your life got ruined.
17
00:01:28,290 --> 00:01:30,986
- You don't have to telI...
- It all started four months ago.
18
00:01:46,775 --> 00:01:48,640
Karen Elizabeth Beale,
19
00:01:48,677 --> 00:01:52,238
will you do me the great honor
of marrying me?
20
00:02:05,694 --> 00:02:08,219
Look what you've done
to Alfonse!
21
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,302
Hey, you know,
it could have been worse.
22
00:02:21,343 --> 00:02:22,332
How?
23
00:02:22,378 --> 00:02:24,573
Technically she never said no.
24
00:02:25,647 --> 00:02:27,308
Maybe it was too soon.
25
00:02:27,349 --> 00:02:30,443
Too soon? We've been
dating for three months.
26
00:02:30,486 --> 00:02:31,953
Almost.
27
00:02:31,987 --> 00:02:34,888
I think anything under
a solid decade is impetuous,
28
00:02:34,923 --> 00:02:37,255
if not downright irresponsible.
29
00:02:37,292 --> 00:02:40,022
I'm sorry about this, man.
This is such bad timing.
30
00:02:40,062 --> 00:02:42,326
I wish I could be here for
you right now, but...
31
00:02:42,364 --> 00:02:44,855
No, I know. Look, it's fine.
32
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:46,231
I know how long you've
wanted this job, so...
33
00:02:46,268 --> 00:02:51,763
Yeah well, if you ever
find yourself in central Germany,
34
00:02:51,807 --> 00:02:53,365
you know,
schtop by!
35
00:02:53,409 --> 00:02:55,070
Yeah, for sure.
36
00:02:58,414 --> 00:03:00,746
Hey, do you mind?
37
00:03:00,783 --> 00:03:02,546
We're having
a modern male moment here!
38
00:03:02,584 --> 00:03:05,747
Take your time, Mr. Sensitive.
It's not my flight we're gonna miss.
39
00:03:05,788 --> 00:03:08,723
Oh shit. Um, okay, I gotta bolt.
40
00:03:08,757 --> 00:03:10,520
You sure you're gonna be okay?
41
00:03:10,559 --> 00:03:11,787
Yeah, I'll be fine.
42
00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:14,955
Oh, listen. Don't go falling for the
first girl that comes along, okay?
43
00:03:14,997 --> 00:03:18,398
I know how you get.
All that hopeless romantic shit
44
00:03:18,434 --> 00:03:19,992
will get you in nothing but trouble.
45
00:03:20,035 --> 00:03:22,401
Trust me. Any shred of romance
that was left in me
46
00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:23,962
was ground to
a bloody pulp yesterday.
47
00:03:24,006 --> 00:03:25,633
Oh, good.
48
00:03:25,674 --> 00:03:27,733
I mean, not good. I mean...
49
00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:29,471
fuck, you know what I mean.
50
00:03:29,511 --> 00:03:32,412
Well, auf wiedersehen.
51
00:03:32,448 --> 00:03:34,109
Eat some schnitzel for me
or something.
52
00:03:34,149 --> 00:03:35,707
Aye. Be well.
53
00:03:36,885 --> 00:03:38,318
And stay out of trouble.
54
00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:57,565
Echo?
55
00:04:00,042 --> 00:04:02,033
# La la la la #
56
00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:05,341
# La la la la #
57
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:08,349
Knock it off, fuckhead!
58
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:10,283
# La la la la #
59
00:04:13,889 --> 00:04:15,447
Asshole.
60
00:04:15,491 --> 00:04:17,152
She won't let you out
for one beer?
61
00:04:17,192 --> 00:04:19,217
Come on. What's that all about?
62
00:04:20,562 --> 00:04:22,359
No, I'm not calling your wife a bitch.
63
00:04:22,397 --> 00:04:23,694
No no no...
64
00:04:23,732 --> 00:04:25,131
Hello?
65
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:27,761
Come on, man.
How long have we been friends?
66
00:04:27,803 --> 00:04:30,738
Okay. How long have
we been acquaintances?
67
00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:34,674
Scott Teller. I bought
your futon a few years ago.
68
00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:37,076
# Last night
I picked up the phone #
69
00:04:37,112 --> 00:04:39,603
# Late call said
you were alone #
70
00:04:39,648 --> 00:04:41,548
# Crying to me about #
71
00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:44,416
# All of the things that we said #
72
00:04:44,453 --> 00:04:46,887
# Apologized
for your ways #
73
00:04:46,922 --> 00:04:49,220
# Said that you hadn't
slept in days #
74
00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:50,748
# Said that you need me... #
75
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:53,090
Hey. I'm Nina.
76
00:04:53,128 --> 00:04:56,222
Hi. Hi, Nina. I'm Scott.
77
00:04:56,265 --> 00:04:58,893
I know this is
incredibly forward, but
78
00:04:58,934 --> 00:05:01,869
I think you're really cute
and I was just wondering
79
00:05:01,904 --> 00:05:03,269
if you'd maybe like to go out.
80
00:05:03,305 --> 00:05:04,738
I'd love you.
81
00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:07,908
I mean, I'd love to
82
00:05:07,943 --> 00:05:09,774
go out sometime.
83
00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:12,780
Not to say that I couldn't
love you at some point.
84
00:05:12,814 --> 00:05:16,215
It's just, you know,
life is a very funny thing.
85
00:05:16,251 --> 00:05:17,843
You never know what's
going to happen next.
86
00:05:20,389 --> 00:05:21,413
Nina?
87
00:05:21,456 --> 00:05:24,254
# So I came back,
opened my mind #
88
00:05:24,293 --> 00:05:26,693
# Decided to
give you the time #
89
00:05:26,728 --> 00:05:28,491
# To make it up to me #
90
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:31,055
# And not turn away... #
91
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:36,197
I gotta get a roommate.
92
00:05:37,539 --> 00:05:40,007
You know, the best way
for me to introduce myself
93
00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:41,839
would be to do a monologue.
94
00:05:41,877 --> 00:05:42,866
Okay.
95
00:05:45,814 --> 00:05:48,078
As she leads me to her bed,
96
00:05:48,116 --> 00:05:50,914
I see for the first time
97
00:05:50,953 --> 00:05:55,390
piles and piles of pink panties.
98
00:05:55,424 --> 00:05:56,789
Heh.
99
00:05:56,825 --> 00:05:58,793
Harold just has difficulty
communicating with others.
100
00:05:58,827 --> 00:06:00,624
- Mmm.
- Don't you, Harold?
101
00:06:00,662 --> 00:06:01,754
Mmm...
102
00:06:11,173 --> 00:06:15,576
My vagina is unto the world's
103
00:06:15,611 --> 00:06:17,238
vagina!
104
00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:18,940
I live just around the corner,
105
00:06:18,981 --> 00:06:21,245
so I can visit all the time.
106
00:06:26,321 --> 00:06:27,845
Thank you.
107
00:06:30,459 --> 00:06:32,324
Ryan Beckett.
108
00:06:32,361 --> 00:06:35,091
Mary Kincaid. Hi.
109
00:06:35,130 --> 00:06:37,963
Hi. Scott Teller.
Nice to meet you.
110
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,731
So, this place is awesome.
111
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:44,398
I was looking for a change last year,
so I moved downtown.
112
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:47,567
I'm a senior product reviewer
for "Open Collar Worker."
113
00:06:47,609 --> 00:06:50,942
It's a magazine for work-at-home
professionals.
114
00:06:50,979 --> 00:06:52,776
How do you like working
from home?
115
00:06:52,814 --> 00:06:54,782
I won't lie to you.
116
00:06:54,816 --> 00:06:56,010
It gets Ionely sometimes.
117
00:06:57,486 --> 00:07:00,148
Which one of you is interested
in the apartment?
118
00:07:00,188 --> 00:07:03,487
- Actually...
- Both of us.
119
00:07:03,525 --> 00:07:07,359
To be honest, I'm not really sure
about living with a couple.
120
00:07:07,396 --> 00:07:11,230
No offense, but it seems like
it could get kind of awkward.
121
00:07:13,602 --> 00:07:15,627
Is everything okay?
122
00:07:15,671 --> 00:07:18,868
Yeah. We've just been
having a hard time
123
00:07:18,907 --> 00:07:21,341
trying to find a place.
124
00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:26,507
Yeah, and we're really into the whole
downtown loft thing, so...
125
00:07:26,548 --> 00:07:28,311
Yeah.
126
00:07:33,655 --> 00:07:36,556
- Are you okay?
- Hmm?
127
00:07:36,591 --> 00:07:38,354
No, it's just your beard...
128
00:07:38,393 --> 00:07:40,122
Yeah, that.
129
00:07:40,162 --> 00:07:44,030
It itches like a bastard.
I don't know why I keep it.
130
00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:46,728
Someone on the street yesterday
called me "Vermont Guy."
131
00:07:48,470 --> 00:07:50,097
I keep meaning to shave it off,
132
00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:52,470
but I guess I really haven't
had a reason to,
133
00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:54,907
not since Karen...
134
00:07:56,712 --> 00:08:00,341
but I don't want to bore you
with that story.
135
00:08:00,382 --> 00:08:04,751
Uh, no. We're not in
any rush, Scott. Try us.
136
00:08:04,786 --> 00:08:06,754
You can tell us, Scott.
137
00:08:08,056 --> 00:08:09,717
Okay.
138
00:08:13,962 --> 00:08:15,259
# We sit around #
139
00:08:15,297 --> 00:08:19,825
# Looking for flaws
in the diamonds #
140
00:08:19,868 --> 00:08:25,500
# We sit around spilling our
ice cubes on the lawn #
141
00:08:25,540 --> 00:08:28,532
# We sit around
fighting our way #
142
00:08:28,577 --> 00:08:32,138
# Through the darkness #
143
00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:35,013
# And we waste our time #
144
00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:39,214
# When we could be
righting every wrong #
145
00:08:41,189 --> 00:08:45,057
# And we trace heartbreak
where we #
146
00:08:45,093 --> 00:08:48,119
# Can see heartbreak
don't belong... #
147
00:08:48,163 --> 00:08:52,497
Drum roll, please.
Here he comes.
148
00:08:52,534 --> 00:08:54,195
- Yay!
- Hey!
149
00:08:54,236 --> 00:08:55,931
Much much better.
150
00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:59,668
Yeah, considerably less
"creepy shut-in" with this look.
151
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:02,040
That's exactly what I was going for.
Thanks.
152
00:09:02,077 --> 00:09:05,137
Well, this was really fun
meeting like this.
153
00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:06,704
- We should get going.
- We should.
154
00:09:06,748 --> 00:09:10,878
Hey, listen. Here is our card.
155
00:09:10,919 --> 00:09:14,355
Yeah, call us sometime if you
want to do something,
156
00:09:14,389 --> 00:09:16,914
or just talk.
157
00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:18,391
Good luck with
the roomie search.
158
00:09:18,426 --> 00:09:22,260
Whoever you find is lucky to live
with a guy like you.
159
00:09:27,335 --> 00:09:29,667
Hey, guys, let's do it.
160
00:09:29,704 --> 00:09:30,864
Why don't you move in?
161
00:09:33,041 --> 00:09:34,508
Scott, are you sure?
162
00:09:34,543 --> 00:09:36,443
You guys are the
nicest people I've met,
163
00:09:36,478 --> 00:09:39,072
and let's face it... you're
the nicest people I'm gonna meet.
164
00:09:39,114 --> 00:09:41,674
This place is totally big enough
for the three of us.
165
00:09:41,716 --> 00:09:44,879
Scott, you are not gonna regret this!
166
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,218
We will totally keep
to ourselves. It will be like
167
00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:48,882
- having just one roommate.
- Yeah.
168
00:09:48,924 --> 00:09:50,221
When can you guys move in?
169
00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:52,055
- This weekend?
- Yeah?
170
00:09:52,093 --> 00:09:53,583
- This weekend!
- Great!
171
00:09:53,628 --> 00:09:54,617
I'll see you then.
172
00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:56,426
- All right!
- Awesome!
173
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:59,160
Okay. See ya!
174
00:09:59,201 --> 00:10:00,600
See you soon.
175
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:18,950
I can't believe how well our colors
work together. We're both autumns.
176
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:20,079
Is that fate or what?
177
00:10:20,121 --> 00:10:23,056
Uh, yeah. Looks great.
178
00:10:23,091 --> 00:10:26,288
Give him a break, Mary.
He's only got one X chromosome,
179
00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:29,422
which is why he is much more
interested in this bad boy!
180
00:10:29,464 --> 00:10:31,455
Holy crap!
181
00:10:33,182 --> 00:10:36,208
Well, I am just so glad to see
182
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:38,550
that you two stayed together.
183
00:10:38,587 --> 00:10:41,818
Yeah, it really looked like
you guys
184
00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:44,417
were on the ropes
there for a little while, so...
185
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:50,555
Well, fortunately Nerissa has
a high bullshit threshold.
186
00:10:50,599 --> 00:10:51,588
Aww.
187
00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:54,034
Come on, you two
scallywags, join us.
188
00:10:54,069 --> 00:10:55,263
What?
189
00:10:55,304 --> 00:10:56,862
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
190
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,840
I know I always do this.
I know I suck. I'm so sorry,
191
00:10:58,874 --> 00:11:00,774
but it really isn't my fault.
I was driving here from work
192
00:11:00,810 --> 00:11:03,040
and I was on the PCH and
the traffic suddenly stopped
193
00:11:03,078 --> 00:11:06,878
and there was a turned-over beekeeper's
truck from some almond farm up north
194
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,349
and there was a cop
who was supposed to be
195
00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:09,442
directing traffic
around the truck
196
00:11:09,485 --> 00:11:11,476
and he's swatting at all the bees.
197
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,717
Everybody gets confused,
and there's like six more accidents
198
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,315
so there was honey
all over the cars.
199
00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:19,054
Ted, it was not my fault this time,
I swear to God. It was not my fault.
200
00:11:19,094 --> 00:11:21,392
Okay, calm down. We have
a couple of minutes.
201
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,954
Calm down.
202
00:11:22,998 --> 00:11:27,128
Tat's the most ridiculous thing
I have ever heard. That's awesome.
203
00:11:27,169 --> 00:11:28,363
I'm gonna use that one
the next time I'm late.
204
00:11:28,404 --> 00:11:30,167
Are you accusing me of lying?
205
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:34,108
No. That's what's perfect about it.
You couldn't make that up.
206
00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:37,840
You'd be surprised.
I am the master of excuses.
207
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,609
All right, what's
your best one?
208
00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:41,309
My best one?
Dude, it would dazzle you
209
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:42,647
and I don't think
you could handle it.
210
00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:44,209
I've got an idea.
211
00:11:44,253 --> 00:11:47,086
How about we have a date,
212
00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:50,250
Saturday night, 8:00, here?
213
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,486
You come at 9:30
and dazzle me.
214
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:55,190
- This guy's got game.
- Yeah.
215
00:11:55,231 --> 00:11:57,529
Uh, do we know this guy?
216
00:11:57,566 --> 00:12:00,831
Leslie, these are my friends
from UCLA, Ryan and Mary.
217
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,303
- Friends? Really?
- Stop it, please.
218
00:12:02,338 --> 00:12:05,273
Hi. And this is
our roommate Scott.
219
00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:08,276
He is a good man.
220
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,302
Vouchers. I like vouchers,
221
00:12:11,347 --> 00:12:16,114
but I gotta say no, because I'm not into
the one-on-one thing with a stranger.
222
00:12:16,151 --> 00:12:18,984
Okay. Well, we'll all go,
all six of us.
223
00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:21,819
- Right? Saturday.
- We're busy.
224
00:12:21,857 --> 00:12:23,620
- Honey.
- No, we are.
225
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,126
We have that thing
with Phil and Barbara Griffin.
226
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,593
We could go.
227
00:12:26,629 --> 00:12:27,653
- Yeah.
- Huh?
228
00:12:27,696 --> 00:12:29,061
Yeah, sure.
229
00:12:29,098 --> 00:12:32,192
Chaperones.
Are we on?
230
00:12:33,369 --> 00:12:36,861
Uh, nnnnn... okay.
231
00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:38,703
Why not?
232
00:12:40,976 --> 00:12:43,069
But we're late
because of the bees,
233
00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:44,477
- so...
- Bye.
234
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:47,539
Good. No chance for me
to say anything stupid.
235
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:49,073
I'll see you on Saturday...
236
00:12:49,118 --> 00:12:51,609
- Oh, Leslie Green.
- Leslie.
237
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:54,384
- Scott Teller.
- Scott Teller.
238
00:12:54,423 --> 00:12:57,415
- See you Saturday.
- See you Saturday.
239
00:12:58,794 --> 00:13:00,887
- Bye.
- Bye.
240
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,397
See ya Saturday.
241
00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:08,964
Scotty Scott Scotterton
over here! Scotterino!
242
00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:11,472
Way to get back
in the saddle, partner!
243
00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,099
- I'll say. Giddyup, huh?
- Huh?
244
00:13:13,142 --> 00:13:14,473
Did you see that?
245
00:13:14,510 --> 00:13:16,535
Who's got two thumbs
and is impressed?
246
00:13:16,579 --> 00:13:18,740
- This guy.
- Yeah.
247
00:13:32,695 --> 00:13:34,788
- You've been a bad girl.
- That'll work.
248
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:35,956
- That'll work.
- Yeah.
249
00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:38,023
Oh! Aha!
250
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,932
The whisk.
251
00:13:42,838 --> 00:13:45,398
You gonna take me
downtown, Officer?
252
00:13:45,441 --> 00:13:49,309
- I'm taking you all the way down!
- Yeah!
253
00:13:50,713 --> 00:13:53,147
There was a farmer
who tapped that ass...
254
00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:55,480
...and Ryan was his name... oh!
255
00:14:22,044 --> 00:14:25,241
# I'm gonna take you take you home. #
256
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:26,406
- Unh!
- Nice!
257
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,177
- Harmonies. What?
- Unh!
258
00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:30,378
- Scott. Scotty!
- Huh?
259
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:32,853
- Nervous, buddy?
- Flutterbies?
260
00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:34,082
- Mmm?
- Mmm?
261
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,648
Um, yeah, a little bit, I guess.
262
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:39,923
- I'd be nervous.
- I'd be going apeshit.
263
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,157
I'm talking fucking apeshit!
264
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:44,495
Yeah.
265
00:14:49,672 --> 00:14:51,731
- Hi.
- Hey.
266
00:14:51,774 --> 00:14:53,207
- Hey.
- Hi.
267
00:14:53,242 --> 00:14:57,736
Hey! How are you?
268
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:59,941
- Flaming Gorilla Nipple?
- Uh, no, that's okay.
269
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,041
I see you guys
started without me.
270
00:15:02,084 --> 00:15:05,281
Well, it was 5:00
somewhere, right?
271
00:15:07,222 --> 00:15:08,951
I don't even drink anymore.
272
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,083
Of course I don't
drink any less, either.
273
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,114
Hiyo! What are you drinking?
274
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,627
Probably just a glass of red wine.
275
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:14,322
- Mmm.
- Ooh.
276
00:15:14,363 --> 00:15:18,527
Scotty Dog is not much
of a wine drinker.
277
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:22,594
- The tannins give him headaches.
- He's more of a beer guy.
278
00:15:22,638 --> 00:15:25,106
Thanks, guys.
I can speak for myself.
279
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,937
Of course you can!
280
00:15:26,975 --> 00:15:29,205
If there's anything
Scott can do,
281
00:15:29,244 --> 00:15:31,439
it's talk... a lot.
282
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,745
Like, yap yap yap yap.
He is a regular little chatterbox.
283
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:37,047
Like a chihuahua.
Show her!
284
00:15:38,287 --> 00:15:39,982
Yeah, come on,
say something, hotshot.
285
00:15:42,257 --> 00:15:43,656
Oh!
286
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,192
Watch this!
287
00:15:47,229 --> 00:15:48,218
This will be good.
288
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:51,465
Here it comes.
289
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:54,960
Really?
290
00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:57,162
How have you been?
291
00:15:59,141 --> 00:16:01,575
- Brilliant!
- The man should be a writer.
292
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:03,100
Hemingway
over here, right?
293
00:16:03,145 --> 00:16:04,635
Guys, really, I...
294
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,341
- So how have you been, Les?
- Mmm.
295
00:16:06,381 --> 00:16:09,282
Oh. Uh, I've been good.
296
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:12,048
Can't say I love being called Les.
297
00:16:12,087 --> 00:16:15,215
- Oh! Hmm!
- I know what you're saying there.
298
00:16:15,257 --> 00:16:19,023
I can't stand it when
people call me Mare.
299
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,961
- Yes.
- It's like, what am I?
300
00:16:20,996 --> 00:16:22,395
- Right.
- Am I a horse?
301
00:16:22,431 --> 00:16:24,729
- No.
- Am I some kind of horse,
302
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:27,258
- like a pony?
- Or like some kind of
303
00:16:27,302 --> 00:16:29,736
mare or something,
you know?
304
00:16:29,772 --> 00:16:33,003
Guys, I don't think this whole
double-date thing is working out.
305
00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:34,201
We're gonna get going.
306
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,040
- What?
- Why?
307
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,012
You guys are shitfaced.
308
00:16:38,046 --> 00:16:41,106
How dare you?
309
00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,710
That is silly.
310
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,482
I am sober as a fucking judge!
311
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:49,252
I think it's fine.
They're just a little drunk.
312
00:16:49,291 --> 00:16:50,553
We've all been there.
313
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:53,152
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
314
00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:55,026
Oh!
315
00:16:55,063 --> 00:16:57,122
Oh, God! You know what
we gotta do?
316
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,690
- Say it.
- Mexican food.
317
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,702
- Unh!
- That does sound good!
318
00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:03,296
We have to go get Mexican food.
319
00:17:03,338 --> 00:17:04,327
It's so good.
320
00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:06,341
- I don't know, guys...
- We should do it.
321
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,366
- Shall we vamanos?
- Yes!
322
00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:10,241
- Si, senorita.
- Vamanos.
323
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,873
I know the best spot.
We could take a taxi.
324
00:17:12,915 --> 00:17:13,904
- Yes.
- And that way
325
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:14,938
we'll get fucking hammered.
326
00:17:14,983 --> 00:17:16,211
- So fu...
- king...
327
00:17:16,251 --> 00:17:19,049
hammered! Oh!
328
00:17:19,087 --> 00:17:20,520
I love the sound of this.
329
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:23,081
Oh, boy.
330
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,717
Somebody get this guy
a fucking drink.
331
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,594
- You should sleep with him.
- Sleep with him.
332
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,756
- He's awesome.
- Yeah!
333
00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,026
They crack me up.
334
00:17:31,066 --> 00:17:32,658
Everybody in the
bar have sex tonight.
335
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,692
Ryan, what do you do?
336
00:17:34,736 --> 00:17:37,671
Mary and I are in contract law.
337
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:40,140
- We're both paralegals.
- Hmm.
338
00:17:40,175 --> 00:17:42,370
But we'll probably be going back
to law school soon.
339
00:17:42,411 --> 00:17:44,072
Oh? What school
do you want to go to?
340
00:17:44,112 --> 00:17:46,580
Wait a minute.
Diddling?
341
00:17:46,615 --> 00:17:47,912
Yeah, diddling.
342
00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:50,384
- You know, with...
- I know what it means.
343
00:17:50,419 --> 00:17:53,877
- I can't believe you just sat there.
- I didn't!
344
00:17:53,922 --> 00:17:58,188
Well, Stanford's the dream,
but it's pretty expensive.
345
00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,893
I know. Fuck yeah.
346
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,331
You okay, Mary?
347
00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:06,357
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
348
00:18:06,401 --> 00:18:08,266
- Stop it.
- Stop what?
349
00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:12,064
Driver, turn left here.
It's quicker.
350
00:18:12,107 --> 00:18:13,131
And you didn't say anything?
351
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,938
What was I supposed to do,
352
00:18:14,977 --> 00:18:18,242
let Leslie know that a fingerbanging was
happening a foot and a half behind her?
353
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,942
That's not first-date material, bro.
I mean, come on.
354
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:24,419
I'm sorry. Please continue.
355
00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:25,943
So have you guys
ever thought about
356
00:18:25,988 --> 00:18:28,320
one of you going to school
while the other one works?
357
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,619
Uh-huh.
358
00:18:29,658 --> 00:18:31,922
What, you mean like one of us go
and the other one stay?
359
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:33,120
- Mmm.
- Yeah, you know, take turns.
360
00:18:33,161 --> 00:18:37,564
Yes! Yes!
Definitely!
361
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:39,794
Well, it sounds like
Mary likes the idea.
362
00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:41,063
Mm-hmm.
363
00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:58,275
Oh! Wow!
364
00:19:00,455 --> 00:19:03,288
They're really drunk,
aren't they?
365
00:19:03,325 --> 00:19:05,850
Yeah.
366
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:08,385
Uh, she's a little, uh...
367
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:11,228
tired, so I think we're just gonna
368
00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:14,064
go home and hit the sackaroo.
369
00:19:14,102 --> 00:19:15,501
You guys are cool
to get home, right?
370
00:19:15,537 --> 00:19:16,697
Safely? Safely? Safely?
371
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,933
Yeah, we can do that.
372
00:19:18,974 --> 00:19:22,034
Okay.
I will check you later, bro.
373
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:28,013
Let's go home.
374
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:36,348
- Hasta lasagna!
- Bye now!
375
00:19:36,391 --> 00:19:38,621
That was weird.
376
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,060
You have no idea.
377
00:19:41,163 --> 00:19:43,631
So, the three of you
spend a lot of time together?
378
00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:45,690
Um, yeah.
379
00:19:45,734 --> 00:19:47,759
I mean, we have.
380
00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:49,270
Maybe that's a little strange.
381
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:52,273
Mmm. I get it. I've been the
third wheel with Ted and Nerissa
382
00:19:52,307 --> 00:19:53,740
way more times
than I want to admit.
383
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:57,506
Well, tonight notwithstanding,
Ryan and Mary are good people.
384
00:19:57,546 --> 00:20:02,210
Very perky, maybe
a little too perfect,
385
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:05,378
if you know what I mean.
386
00:20:05,420 --> 00:20:07,945
Well, the way Ted explains it,
they might as well be the Antichrist.
387
00:20:07,990 --> 00:20:10,356
- What?
- Oh, don't take Ted seriously.
388
00:20:10,392 --> 00:20:12,758
He is a cynic with
a flair for the dramatic.
389
00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:15,991
Nerissa says they're good people,
and that's good enough for me.
390
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:18,693
Well, next time we go out,
it's just the two of us.
391
00:20:18,734 --> 00:20:21,828
Oh, so there's gonna be
a next time, huh?
392
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:24,930
Yeah. You can't let
tonight be the end of it.
393
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:28,272
I mean, this has
just been ridiculous.
394
00:20:30,212 --> 00:20:32,009
What are you
doing tomorrow?
395
00:20:32,047 --> 00:20:33,878
Something with you, I hope.
396
00:20:33,915 --> 00:20:37,373
Wow, you really play
hard to get, don't you?
397
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,856
Okay, well, in that case,
398
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:44,518
you should come by
at 6:00.
399
00:20:44,559 --> 00:20:46,959
I'm there.
400
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,463
Cool.
401
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,897
What?
402
00:20:50,932 --> 00:20:53,958
Nothing. I just...
403
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,835
I just realized I probably
should have waited
404
00:20:56,872 --> 00:20:59,500
till the end of the date
to ask you on a second date,
405
00:20:59,541 --> 00:21:02,339
'cause now there's no buildup,
406
00:21:02,377 --> 00:21:04,504
there's no tension,
there's no mystery.
407
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:08,748
How great is that?
408
00:21:20,796 --> 00:21:21,785
Wow!
409
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,731
- Hey!
- Scott!
410
00:21:26,768 --> 00:21:30,295
Hi. We are so so
411
00:21:30,338 --> 00:21:33,307
so sorry about last night.
412
00:21:33,341 --> 00:21:35,969
Yeah, we were
way over the line.
413
00:21:36,011 --> 00:21:38,002
I don't know what happens
to me when I drink.
414
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:41,447
- I just get so H-O-R-N-Y.
- Yeah,
415
00:21:41,483 --> 00:21:46,147
and I am a total man-whore
after four cocktails.
416
00:21:46,188 --> 00:21:48,418
We practice hot monogamy.
417
00:21:48,457 --> 00:21:50,448
I'm what you'd call
a monogamist slut.
418
00:21:50,492 --> 00:21:54,485
One of the pillars of our relationship.
It keeps it spicy.
419
00:21:54,529 --> 00:21:55,518
- Mmm.
- Huh?
420
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:56,861
And it doesn't hurt that I rarely
421
00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:59,492
- if ever wear panties for him.
- No it does not.
422
00:21:59,534 --> 00:22:02,128
You must think
that we are total pervs.
423
00:22:02,170 --> 00:22:04,661
The whole thing
must seem so tawdry.
424
00:22:04,706 --> 00:22:06,936
Ooh! Tawdry.
Fantastic word.
425
00:22:06,975 --> 00:22:08,408
- It's awesome, right?
- That is an awesome word.
426
00:22:08,443 --> 00:22:12,243
Guys, let's just try to establish and
respect some boundaries, all right?
427
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,805
- Can do, Mr. Magoo.
- Absolutely.
428
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:17,944
And to make it up to you,
we made brunch.
429
00:22:17,986 --> 00:22:19,385
I can see that.
430
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:20,979
I could see that from space.
431
00:22:21,022 --> 00:22:23,923
- Diggith inneth.
- Bon app�tit.
432
00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:27,918
- We need more eggs.
- Eggsellent idea.
433
00:22:27,963 --> 00:22:31,455
- My thoughts eggsactly.
- Guys, really,
434
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:32,899
none of this was
necessary. I...
435
00:22:36,738 --> 00:22:38,933
Um...
436
00:22:38,974 --> 00:22:43,035
you know, the less we talk or think
or remember about last night the better.
437
00:22:43,078 --> 00:22:45,638
We just feel terrible
438
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,114
that we ruined it for you
with Lisa.
439
00:22:48,150 --> 00:22:51,381
Leslie. And, um,
you didn't ruin anything.
440
00:22:51,419 --> 00:22:52,909
We're going out tonight.
441
00:22:55,857 --> 00:22:56,846
Wow,
442
00:22:56,892 --> 00:22:59,952
two dates in two days.
443
00:22:59,995 --> 00:23:01,155
Jesus H. Christ, Scott,
444
00:23:01,196 --> 00:23:03,164
I thought we weren't gonna
rush into anything this time.
445
00:23:03,198 --> 00:23:07,157
I'm not rushing into anything.
It's more of a do-over date anyway.
446
00:23:07,202 --> 00:23:10,899
Whatever. It's like you want
to get your heart broken again.
447
00:23:10,939 --> 00:23:15,035
Scott, uh, what about
the guy code?
448
00:23:15,076 --> 00:23:18,842
You don't even call the girl the next
day, let alone go out with her.
449
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,074
You're never gonna
get rid of her now.
450
00:23:20,115 --> 00:23:22,345
I'm not really a guy-code guy, Ryan.
451
00:23:22,384 --> 00:23:24,352
I like to play it by ear.
452
00:23:24,386 --> 00:23:26,286
Yeah. That's been
real successful so far.
453
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:28,516
- Mary!
- Dude, she's kidding.
454
00:23:28,557 --> 00:23:31,890
She's kidding. I mean,
she is and she isn't.
455
00:23:31,927 --> 00:23:33,918
I am and I amn't.
456
00:23:33,962 --> 00:23:36,453
Look, thank you for breakfast,
but I'd like to drop the subject now.
457
00:23:36,498 --> 00:23:37,726
- It's dropped.
- Like a bad habit.
458
00:23:37,766 --> 00:23:40,098
- Like a hot potato.
- Like an atom bomb.
459
00:23:40,135 --> 00:23:41,864
- Like a prom dress.
- Like a...
460
00:23:44,706 --> 00:23:47,834
Well, it looks like
somebody got up
461
00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:50,003
on the wrong side
of the bed this morning.
462
00:23:50,045 --> 00:23:51,273
Your eggs are getting cold, Scott.
463
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,855
Other lightweight vacuums
are light on power.
464
00:24:01,890 --> 00:24:06,953
That's why Dyson
engineered the Dyson Slim...
465
00:24:06,995 --> 00:24:08,462
See you all later.
466
00:24:08,496 --> 00:24:10,487
Wait!
467
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:12,659
- We have to come with you.
- Why?
468
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:15,898
To apologize to Leslie.
469
00:24:15,937 --> 00:24:17,928
That won't be necessary.
470
00:24:17,973 --> 00:24:20,874
I know, but it would just make
us both feel so much better.
471
00:24:20,909 --> 00:24:23,776
Yeah. We got off
on the wrong foot.
472
00:24:23,812 --> 00:24:25,609
Such the wrong foot.
473
00:24:26,781 --> 00:24:28,749
Okay.
474
00:24:28,783 --> 00:24:32,275
But you leave after the apology,
and absolutely no drinks.
475
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,880
Don't worry, we'll be good.
I'm even wearing panties today.
476
00:24:34,988 --> 00:24:36,413
Ow.
477
00:24:37,626 --> 00:24:40,595
It just keeps coming.
478
00:24:40,629 --> 00:24:43,621
Look, I really want to spend
some time with her.
479
00:24:43,665 --> 00:24:45,064
Alone.
480
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:47,694
- Right. Say, Ryan?
- Hmm?
481
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:49,533
What's the name of
the Canadian rock trio
482
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:50,833
that recorded the song
"Tom Sawyer"?
483
00:24:50,872 --> 00:24:53,534
Why, Mary, that would be
Rush.
484
00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:55,805
Which is exactly what
Scott is doing with Leslie.
485
00:24:57,312 --> 00:25:00,440
Okay, you guys clearly
planned that, and that's just odd.
486
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:03,406
Come on.
487
00:25:16,298 --> 00:25:17,663
She stood you up, man.
488
00:25:17,699 --> 00:25:20,964
- Left you hanging.
- High and dry.
489
00:25:21,002 --> 00:25:22,993
I feel awful.
490
00:25:23,038 --> 00:25:25,302
This is obviously our fault.
491
00:25:25,340 --> 00:25:27,001
Oh, man, this sucks.
492
00:25:27,042 --> 00:25:29,067
So what do you say we go get
a drink or 12, nurse the wounds?
493
00:25:29,110 --> 00:25:30,975
- All you can do, really. Right?
- Yes.
494
00:25:31,012 --> 00:25:32,104
Shall we?
495
00:25:33,882 --> 00:25:34,871
Hi!
496
00:25:34,916 --> 00:25:36,315
Are you here to see someone?
497
00:25:36,351 --> 00:25:37,750
Uh, yes. Leslie.
498
00:25:37,786 --> 00:25:39,378
Leslie Galinsky?
499
00:25:39,421 --> 00:25:40,752
No, Leslie Green.
500
00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:43,883
Oh, Leslie G.
You must be Scott.
501
00:25:43,925 --> 00:25:44,983
Come on in.
502
00:25:45,026 --> 00:25:46,323
Thanks.
503
00:25:47,862 --> 00:25:49,727
Oh, I'm sorry.
Invited guests only.
504
00:25:49,764 --> 00:25:51,356
We're with Scotty.
505
00:25:51,399 --> 00:25:54,095
I'm just a woodland nymph
with five lines, so...
506
00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,907
- Bye.
- Thank you.
507
00:26:13,988 --> 00:26:15,182
Oh, hey, you made it.
508
00:26:15,223 --> 00:26:17,214
Hey, yeah, I did.
509
00:26:17,258 --> 00:26:18,452
Sorry to drag you by work like this
510
00:26:18,493 --> 00:26:19,892
but we've been
so pressed for time
511
00:26:19,928 --> 00:26:21,486
I've had very little
social life lately.
512
00:26:21,529 --> 00:26:25,431
- This is work?
- Oh, yes. I do costumes.
513
00:26:25,467 --> 00:26:28,368
I am the seamstress
to the semi-stars.
514
00:26:28,403 --> 00:26:29,597
Cool.
515
00:26:29,637 --> 00:26:32,902
But I thought maybe you'd want
to see the dress rehearsal, so
516
00:26:32,941 --> 00:26:34,670
I put together some snacks.
517
00:26:36,111 --> 00:26:38,636
And I brought some wine...
and beer,
518
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,375
because I know
you are a beer man.
519
00:26:42,217 --> 00:26:44,412
Is that cool?
520
00:26:44,452 --> 00:26:46,249
Yeah. That'll do.
521
00:26:46,287 --> 00:26:48,118
Okay, well, let's get a seat.
522
00:27:14,282 --> 00:27:15,840
Leslie!
523
00:27:17,318 --> 00:27:19,479
Leslie!
524
00:27:19,521 --> 00:27:22,285
We're sorry!
We're so sorry.
525
00:27:22,323 --> 00:27:25,087
- It's all on us.
- Our bad, not Scott.
526
00:27:25,126 --> 00:27:26,525
- Oh my God.
- Leslie Green!
527
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,529
- Not Galinksky!
- No, you're cool, Galinsky!
528
00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:31,088
Scott didn't do anything!
529
00:27:31,132 --> 00:27:34,033
So if you were planning
on hooking up or making out...
530
00:27:34,068 --> 00:27:35,660
Or going all the way
or whatever...
531
00:27:35,703 --> 00:27:38,137
Full speed ahead!
532
00:27:38,173 --> 00:27:40,266
Thumbs up
if you can hear us.
533
00:27:40,308 --> 00:27:41,673
Groovy?
534
00:27:41,709 --> 00:27:43,267
Dude playing Puck,
535
00:27:43,311 --> 00:27:45,142
- you are awesome!
- Great!
536
00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:47,705
- Scotty, we'll see you at home.
- They gave the thumbs up, right?
537
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,273
- Yeah.
- Okay.
538
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:56,849
Fantastic.
539
00:28:24,919 --> 00:28:26,887
Again, I'm sorry
about Ryan and Mary.
540
00:28:26,921 --> 00:28:29,151
Just forget about it.
I don't want to get worked up over it,
541
00:28:29,190 --> 00:28:34,059
let some gut-wrenching, potentially
job-threatening embarrassment
542
00:28:34,095 --> 00:28:35,460
ruin a good date.
543
00:28:35,497 --> 00:28:37,021
Good date? Come on,
544
00:28:37,065 --> 00:28:39,295
this is undoubtedly the best date
that I've ever been on.
545
00:28:39,334 --> 00:28:42,132
Yeah, I kind of
impressed myself tonight.
546
00:28:42,170 --> 00:28:45,401
Yeah. I mean, the bar
has been set ridiculously high.
547
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:48,000
I'm clearly gonna have to involve
air travel on our next date
548
00:28:48,042 --> 00:28:49,031
if I even hope to top this.
549
00:28:49,077 --> 00:28:52,604
Well I don't know about air travel,
but...
550
00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:56,550
how do you feel
about a wedding?
551
00:28:57,685 --> 00:28:59,243
Ours?
552
00:28:59,287 --> 00:29:01,255
No.
553
00:29:01,289 --> 00:29:03,120
Ted and Nerissa are getting
married in two weeks
554
00:29:03,157 --> 00:29:04,283
and I'm the maid of honor.
555
00:29:04,325 --> 00:29:08,421
And I don't have a date.
556
00:29:08,463 --> 00:29:11,899
And I kind of don't think
I'm gonna meet anyone
557
00:29:11,933 --> 00:29:13,833
I'm gonna want to go with
more than you before then,
558
00:29:13,868 --> 00:29:18,771
so come with me.
559
00:29:18,806 --> 00:29:22,833
Yeah, absolutely. Weddings
are a total turn-on for chicks.
560
00:29:22,877 --> 00:29:25,004
You don't
stand a chance after that.
561
00:29:25,046 --> 00:29:27,480
I like this.
562
00:29:27,515 --> 00:29:31,542
- What?
- That I can tell you that I like you
563
00:29:31,586 --> 00:29:35,181
and not have to worry
that I'm gonna regret it later.
564
00:29:35,223 --> 00:29:36,952
No, you definitely won't.
565
00:29:36,991 --> 00:29:40,154
I feel like I don't have
to play games with you.
566
00:29:40,194 --> 00:29:43,129
I don't have to couch anything.
567
00:29:43,164 --> 00:29:45,394
I don't even know
what couch means as a verb.
568
00:29:45,433 --> 00:29:48,300
So, no,
569
00:29:48,336 --> 00:29:50,099
you definitely don't have
to do that.
570
00:29:56,644 --> 00:29:59,613
Leslie, time to go!
571
00:29:59,647 --> 00:30:02,810
Oh, that's my ride.
572
00:30:02,850 --> 00:30:04,943
I can take you home.
573
00:30:04,986 --> 00:30:07,921
That's all right.
As great as this date has been,
574
00:30:07,956 --> 00:30:09,821
I don't want to rush anything.
575
00:30:11,125 --> 00:30:12,422
Me neither.
576
00:30:17,999 --> 00:30:18,988
I'll call you.
577
00:30:19,033 --> 00:30:21,763
- Okay.
- Good night.
578
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,884
Please, just shut up!
579
00:30:51,265 --> 00:30:54,666
Hey! There's the man!
580
00:30:56,270 --> 00:30:57,532
Mary, is everything okay?
581
00:30:57,572 --> 00:30:59,938
Everything's fine.
Was it a good night?
582
00:30:59,974 --> 00:31:02,340
It was great, after you guys
stopped shouting at us.
583
00:31:02,377 --> 00:31:04,538
Oh, you did hear.
Good.
584
00:31:04,579 --> 00:31:06,638
Yeah, they heard in Cucamonga.
585
00:31:06,681 --> 00:31:07,807
What's with this plate?
586
00:31:07,849 --> 00:31:11,216
Oh. Little accident on my part.
587
00:31:11,252 --> 00:31:13,220
It's a long story.
588
00:31:13,254 --> 00:31:16,052
I will replace that.
Nothing major.
589
00:31:16,090 --> 00:31:18,115
Nothing major.
590
00:31:19,227 --> 00:31:21,195
Were you guys fighting?
591
00:31:21,229 --> 00:31:25,165
Hah! I told you,
we don't fight.
592
00:31:25,199 --> 00:31:26,962
It's not our thing, buddy.
593
00:31:28,369 --> 00:31:30,963
I think they're clean,
lamb chop.
594
00:31:31,005 --> 00:31:33,496
I'll decide that, honeybunches.
595
00:31:33,541 --> 00:31:36,840
Ryan, who were you
just yelling at to shut up?
596
00:31:36,878 --> 00:31:40,609
What? No one. What?
597
00:31:40,648 --> 00:31:44,311
So, Scotty, was it a good night?
598
00:31:44,352 --> 00:31:46,650
- Did you tap that ass yet?
- Mary!
599
00:31:46,688 --> 00:31:50,624
Aw, come on. Did you give her
the old hot beef injection?
600
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,785
- Mary, what the hell?
- Did you make like Sam the Butcher
601
00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:55,295
- and bring Alice the meat?
- Jesus, Mary.
602
00:31:55,329 --> 00:31:59,026
Mmm. This sex talk have me
heap big in the mood.
603
00:31:59,067 --> 00:32:02,400
Oh, I love it
when you talk caveman.
604
00:32:02,437 --> 00:32:04,302
That was, uh,
Indian, dear.
605
00:32:04,338 --> 00:32:06,932
No, don't be silly.
Indian is like,
606
00:32:06,974 --> 00:32:09,272
"Oh, curry in a hurry,
Mr. Curry Man."
607
00:32:09,310 --> 00:32:11,403
Native American Indian.
608
00:32:11,446 --> 00:32:12,708
- Oh.
- Oh.
609
00:32:12,747 --> 00:32:15,113
- Geronimo.
- Mmm.
610
00:32:16,551 --> 00:32:18,314
- Come here.
- Ooh!
611
00:32:18,352 --> 00:32:20,616
- Good night.
- Good night.
612
00:32:20,655 --> 00:32:22,555
Take me to your wigwam,
Chief.
613
00:32:22,590 --> 00:32:27,323
I'm gonna trade you $27
worth of trinkets for that ass.
614
00:32:27,361 --> 00:32:29,693
Hi-ya hi-ya...
615
00:32:29,731 --> 00:32:33,030
Put me
on the bearskin rug!
616
00:32:33,067 --> 00:32:34,227
Here's some wampum.
617
00:32:44,645 --> 00:32:46,704
I got it!
618
00:32:52,353 --> 00:32:56,153
Hey, Scotty Dog,
phone!
619
00:33:00,962 --> 00:33:03,590
- Hello?
- Hi, Scotty Dog!
620
00:33:03,631 --> 00:33:07,499
Hey, Leslie. Have you been talking
to Mary for the last 20 minutes?
621
00:33:07,535 --> 00:33:08,900
Is that a problem?
622
00:33:08,936 --> 00:33:12,167
No, it's just... they were
acting really weird last night.
623
00:33:12,206 --> 00:33:15,334
In fact I'm beginning to think
they're just weird in general.
624
00:33:15,376 --> 00:33:17,071
What were
you guys talking about?
625
00:33:17,111 --> 00:33:19,306
Oh, you know, girl stuff.
626
00:33:21,315 --> 00:33:24,614
So, what are you doing Friday?
Do you want to hang out?
627
00:33:24,652 --> 00:33:26,711
Yeah, I'd love to.
628
00:33:26,754 --> 00:33:28,619
I hear you like the batting cages.
629
00:33:32,226 --> 00:33:35,286
- Where did you hear that?
- I have my sources.
630
00:33:35,562 --> 00:33:37,297
So, Friday at 7:00?
631
00:33:37,331 --> 00:33:41,825
And by the way,
I have now asked you out twice.
632
00:33:41,869 --> 00:33:43,928
I know,
and I'm way behind.
633
00:33:43,971 --> 00:33:46,496
I have to log at least twice
as many as you
634
00:33:46,541 --> 00:33:48,600
if I'm going to feel
even remotely like a man.
635
00:33:48,643 --> 00:33:52,238
Well, get to work, lazybones.
I'll see you Friday, okay?
636
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,214
- Okay.
- Bye.
637
00:33:54,248 --> 00:33:55,613
Bye.
638
00:34:02,190 --> 00:34:03,987
Jesus, you guys hungry
or something?
639
00:34:04,025 --> 00:34:06,357
Oh, I don't know, Scott.
Maybe we're just being weird.
640
00:34:06,394 --> 00:34:08,259
Yeah, weird
that you would say that,
641
00:34:08,296 --> 00:34:10,662
because I've been
feeling weird lately.
642
00:34:10,698 --> 00:34:12,131
That is so weird!
643
00:34:12,166 --> 00:34:13,155
- That's weird.
- Weird.
644
00:34:13,201 --> 00:34:15,567
Guys, is something going on?
645
00:34:15,603 --> 00:34:17,400
Is this, like, a thing?
646
00:34:17,438 --> 00:34:20,635
She heard you tell Lisa
that you think we're weird.
647
00:34:20,675 --> 00:34:22,609
- Leslie.
- Leslie! Fuck!
648
00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:24,167
Why do I have such
trouble with that name?
649
00:34:24,212 --> 00:34:26,180
I do too. It's like,
Lisa, Leslie...
650
00:34:26,214 --> 00:34:27,374
But you had no right
to hear that.
651
00:34:27,415 --> 00:34:30,873
I was just in the process
of hanging up the phone
652
00:34:30,918 --> 00:34:32,249
and making sure you'd
picked up the call,
653
00:34:32,286 --> 00:34:35,949
and that it was connecting,
and...
654
00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:39,653
Scott, come on.
655
00:34:39,694 --> 00:34:40,854
Do you think we're weird?
656
00:34:42,196 --> 00:34:44,756
Yeah. Yes.
657
00:34:44,799 --> 00:34:48,257
If you want to know the truth, yes,
I think you guys are a little weird.
658
00:34:48,302 --> 00:34:49,735
Us?
659
00:34:49,770 --> 00:34:51,328
I'm sure.
660
00:34:51,372 --> 00:34:54,034
Scott, I was a Gerber baby.
661
00:34:54,075 --> 00:34:57,738
And I am from Marblehead,
Massachusetts...
662
00:34:57,778 --> 00:34:59,245
- Idyllic!
- Born and raised.
663
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,647
- Yeah.
- Scott, what is so weird about us?
664
00:35:02,683 --> 00:35:05,413
Well, okay, for starters,
the whole no-fighting thing.
665
00:35:05,453 --> 00:35:06,886
That's... it's just odd.
666
00:35:06,921 --> 00:35:09,856
We're not into
the conflict thing, Scott.
667
00:35:09,891 --> 00:35:13,657
I'm just curious. Do you want us
to break up or something?
668
00:35:13,694 --> 00:35:15,753
- Right?
- No, I don't want you to break up.
669
00:35:15,796 --> 00:35:18,424
But it's just that
normal couples fight,
670
00:35:20,534 --> 00:35:22,729
and it's very healthy
for the relationship.
671
00:35:22,770 --> 00:35:24,397
Now I'm just confused.
672
00:35:24,438 --> 00:35:27,271
I mean, I don't even know
how to do that.
673
00:35:27,308 --> 00:35:31,404
Okay. Just... here, come here.
674
00:35:31,445 --> 00:35:34,141
Okay. Mary, you sit here.
675
00:35:34,181 --> 00:35:38,641
Ryan, you sit here.
676
00:35:38,686 --> 00:35:42,019
No no, guys, get...
trust me here.
677
00:35:42,056 --> 00:35:43,683
Sit apart.
678
00:35:43,724 --> 00:35:45,089
There.
679
00:35:48,262 --> 00:35:52,460
Now, clearly
there was something
680
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:53,865
going on last night,
681
00:35:53,901 --> 00:35:55,630
so let's draw from there.
682
00:35:55,670 --> 00:35:56,659
All right?
683
00:35:56,704 --> 00:35:59,935
Now, tell him what you think.
684
00:35:59,974 --> 00:36:03,307
Okay.
685
00:36:03,344 --> 00:36:05,369
Ryan,
686
00:36:06,447 --> 00:36:09,041
- you were being a dummy.
- Okay, uh,
687
00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:12,849
I appreciate that you're speaking
from a place of anger right now.
688
00:36:12,887 --> 00:36:15,355
- Thank you.
- No! Okay, look.
689
00:36:15,389 --> 00:36:17,789
Tell her what you were
really thinking last night.
690
00:36:19,327 --> 00:36:21,386
Okay. Uh, I...
691
00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:26,230
Mary, I wish that you
would shut your trap, uh,
692
00:36:26,267 --> 00:36:29,794
about the toilet seat.
693
00:36:29,837 --> 00:36:31,896
- Yes, very good.
- Blabbermouth.
694
00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:34,373
Nice. Okay now, Mary,
your rebuttal.
695
00:36:34,408 --> 00:36:36,842
Um,
696
00:36:36,877 --> 00:36:39,004
Freak.
697
00:36:40,214 --> 00:36:42,307
Twat.
698
00:36:42,350 --> 00:36:43,817
- Ass hat.
- Bitch.
699
00:36:43,851 --> 00:36:45,409
Shitheel.
700
00:36:45,453 --> 00:36:46,852
Strumpet.
701
00:36:46,887 --> 00:36:48,377
Jerkoff.
702
00:36:48,422 --> 00:36:49,889
Queef waffle.
703
00:36:49,924 --> 00:36:51,551
Nagfucker.
704
00:36:51,592 --> 00:36:52,889
Tampon wrapper.
705
00:36:52,927 --> 00:36:54,292
Mama's boy.
706
00:36:54,328 --> 00:36:56,558
Bloody fucking cun...
707
00:36:56,597 --> 00:36:59,361
Ow! Oh!
708
00:37:02,336 --> 00:37:06,067
You know, in the UK that word's
not really that big of a deal.
709
00:37:06,107 --> 00:37:07,472
I know.
710
00:37:07,508 --> 00:37:10,909
But this is an important lesson
on escalation.
711
00:37:12,446 --> 00:37:17,213
You can't go from a slap fight
to a C-bomb.
712
00:37:17,251 --> 00:37:20,880
And look. You had a fight
and you're not breaking up.
713
00:37:20,921 --> 00:37:23,151
- No.
- No, no.
714
00:37:23,190 --> 00:37:25,818
Scott, you're right.
715
00:37:25,860 --> 00:37:28,954
We have a lot of issues
that we've repressed
716
00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:32,454
and you're right,
we need to work on that.
717
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:34,730
Yeah. Thank you, Scott.
718
00:37:34,769 --> 00:37:37,761
I think it's clear that we both
learned a lot tonight.
719
00:37:39,974 --> 00:37:41,965
I can't tell you how much
you mean to us, buddy.
720
00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:45,445
Wow. Well, that's really nice.
721
00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:47,640
I'm just so glad we found you.
722
00:37:49,316 --> 00:37:50,977
Aw, come here.
723
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:56,922
Oh.
724
00:37:57,091 --> 00:37:59,525
# Let's go, let's go,
it's on #
725
00:37:59,593 --> 00:38:02,824
# Let's go,
let's go along #
726
00:38:02,863 --> 00:38:04,125
# Let's go, let's go... #
727
00:38:04,165 --> 00:38:06,793
- What's up, roomie?
- Whoa!
728
00:38:12,173 --> 00:38:13,902
- Hey.
- You okay there, buddy?
729
00:38:13,941 --> 00:38:16,205
Do you want to move on
to free weights, blasts those delts?
730
00:38:16,243 --> 00:38:17,710
- Pump your lats?
- Pound your glutes?
731
00:38:19,713 --> 00:38:20,907
What do you say?
732
00:38:20,948 --> 00:38:23,917
Uh, no thanks.
I'm done.
733
00:38:23,951 --> 00:38:25,942
- What a coincidence.
- We're done too.
734
00:38:25,986 --> 00:38:27,749
Yeah.
735
00:38:27,788 --> 00:38:29,449
But you guys just got here.
736
00:38:29,490 --> 00:38:31,515
Hey, we work hard, not long.
737
00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,493
- That's how we roll.
- God damn right it is.
738
00:38:33,527 --> 00:38:35,119
Where are you headed?
739
00:38:35,162 --> 00:38:36,686
Mind if we come with?
740
00:38:36,730 --> 00:38:38,698
No, it won't be necessary.
741
00:38:38,732 --> 00:38:42,259
My head's kind of hurting, so I'm gonna
go get some aspirin or something.
742
00:38:42,303 --> 00:38:43,395
Golly.
743
00:38:43,437 --> 00:38:46,099
Didn't think it was a crime to want
to spend some time with a friend.
744
00:38:46,140 --> 00:38:48,938
Yeah, I mean if you want
to be alone, be alone.
745
00:38:48,976 --> 00:38:50,637
- We're history.
- Past tense.
746
00:38:50,678 --> 00:38:52,270
- Ghosts.
- Hasta lasagna.
747
00:38:52,313 --> 00:38:54,474
- Peace out...
- Okay, later.
748
00:38:54,515 --> 00:38:56,483
Okay.
749
00:38:56,517 --> 00:38:59,350
Well, what time will
you be home?
750
00:38:59,386 --> 00:39:02,378
# Let's go, let's go,
it's on #
751
00:39:02,423 --> 00:39:05,620
# Let's go,
let's go along #
752
00:39:05,659 --> 00:39:09,117
# Let's go, let's go,
we'll get it on #
753
00:39:09,163 --> 00:39:12,132
# Let's go,
I'm going off #
754
00:39:12,166 --> 00:39:15,363
# Let's go, let's go
right now #
755
00:39:15,402 --> 00:39:18,667
# Let's go,
we're going out #
756
00:39:18,706 --> 00:39:21,937
# You'll never know
until you go #
757
00:39:21,976 --> 00:39:25,139
# Just what
it's all about... #
758
00:39:25,179 --> 00:39:27,579
Damn, you're good.
Our kids would be Hall-of-Famers.
759
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,675
We had three dates.
You've got us having kids?
760
00:39:31,685 --> 00:39:34,483
- Just an expression.
- You never know.
761
00:39:39,126 --> 00:39:41,594
- You moving?
- I have to.
762
00:39:41,629 --> 00:39:44,063
My apartment building
is going condo.
763
00:39:44,098 --> 00:39:46,066
How long do you have
before you have to move?
764
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:47,931
Mmm, like 40 days.
765
00:39:50,838 --> 00:39:52,635
Leslie...
766
00:39:52,673 --> 00:39:55,699
I know this sounds crazy and we
haven't known each other that long,
767
00:39:55,743 --> 00:39:58,678
but... move in with me.
768
00:39:58,712 --> 00:40:00,373
What?
769
00:40:00,414 --> 00:40:02,143
I'm serious.
770
00:40:02,183 --> 00:40:04,879
You can have
your own room and...
771
00:40:04,919 --> 00:40:07,217
you know,
it'll be like we're roommates.
772
00:40:07,254 --> 00:40:10,883
Oh my God.
773
00:40:10,925 --> 00:40:13,485
I mean, what about
Ryan and Mary?
774
00:40:14,595 --> 00:40:17,826
To be honest,
it's not really working out.
775
00:40:17,865 --> 00:40:21,528
I'll give them plenty of notice
and it'll be fine.
776
00:40:21,569 --> 00:40:23,833
L-I don't know.
I mean, I... I guess
777
00:40:23,871 --> 00:40:26,772
I just need to think about it.
This is so out of the blue, Scott.
778
00:40:26,807 --> 00:40:29,776
I'm gonna need, like,
some time to...
779
00:40:29,810 --> 00:40:31,835
- I...
- Yeah.
780
00:40:31,879 --> 00:40:34,814
I... I think...
781
00:40:34,848 --> 00:40:36,839
we should go back
to your place right now.
782
00:40:36,884 --> 00:40:38,215
Okay.
783
00:40:38,252 --> 00:40:40,880
'Cause I don't want
to wait another minute.
784
00:40:40,921 --> 00:40:42,855
- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
785
00:40:46,327 --> 00:40:48,318
Happy birthday to me.
786
00:40:49,330 --> 00:40:51,025
It's just right here.
787
00:40:52,032 --> 00:40:53,966
Okay, now...
788
00:40:54,001 --> 00:40:55,901
Let me check to make sure
Ryan and Mary aren't here.
789
00:40:55,936 --> 00:40:58,029
Okay, well, hurry up.
Hurry up. Hurry up.
790
00:41:02,009 --> 00:41:04,807
Oh, hey!
Where are you going?
791
00:41:04,845 --> 00:41:06,836
I was going to get us
something to drink.
792
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,541
Oh.
793
00:41:08,582 --> 00:41:12,143
Well, there is no time
for that.
794
00:41:12,186 --> 00:41:14,051
Where is your bedroom?
795
00:41:15,789 --> 00:41:18,087
I like where this is heading.
796
00:41:22,162 --> 00:41:25,359
Slow down. What are you doing?
Slow down.
797
00:41:25,399 --> 00:41:27,162
Hold on... watch out.
798
00:41:28,802 --> 00:41:30,770
Why are you going outside?
799
00:41:34,408 --> 00:41:37,536
Surprise!
800
00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:40,206
# For he's a jolly good fellow #
801
00:41:40,247 --> 00:41:42,613
# For he's a jolly
good fellow #
802
00:41:42,650 --> 00:41:47,178
# For he's a jolly good fellow #
803
00:41:47,221 --> 00:41:49,815
# Which nobody can deny... #
804
00:41:49,857 --> 00:41:52,451
- Stop! Okay, that's fine. Stop.
- # Which nobody can deny... #
805
00:41:52,493 --> 00:41:54,984
Yeah, stop.
806
00:41:55,029 --> 00:41:57,862
- Who planned this?
- That would be us.
807
00:41:57,898 --> 00:42:00,992
- Chicka chicka boo-ya!
- Hey!
808
00:42:01,035 --> 00:42:03,026
Happy b'day.
809
00:42:03,070 --> 00:42:05,868
Did you take that picture
while I was sleeping?
810
00:42:05,906 --> 00:42:08,636
You just looked
so peaceful.
811
00:42:08,676 --> 00:42:13,340
We figured since you don't have any
friends that throw in a rockin' party,
812
00:42:13,380 --> 00:42:15,211
it'd be a great way for you
to make some new ones.
813
00:42:15,249 --> 00:42:17,342
- Right?
- Yeah!
814
00:42:17,384 --> 00:42:20,353
No no, that's very funny,
but I have lots of friends,
815
00:42:20,387 --> 00:42:23,356
just not in L.A.
right now, okay?
816
00:42:23,390 --> 00:42:25,790
Were you a part of this?
817
00:42:25,826 --> 00:42:29,284
This is what Mary and I
were talking about on the phone.
818
00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:32,197
You know, right before
you called us weird.
819
00:42:32,232 --> 00:42:35,030
- Mmm, yeah, thanks again for that.
- Yeah.
820
00:42:35,069 --> 00:42:37,367
How did you even know
it was my birthday?
821
00:42:37,404 --> 00:42:41,135
Well, you left your driver's license
on the counter a couple days ago...
822
00:42:41,175 --> 00:42:42,938
And so you just...
you just picked it up?
823
00:42:42,976 --> 00:42:45,467
Dude, she wanted to know
your middle name. What...
824
00:42:45,512 --> 00:42:46,843
- It's Paul.
- Paul.
825
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:48,404
Everyone, it's Paul.
826
00:42:48,449 --> 00:42:51,179
Paul!
827
00:42:51,218 --> 00:42:54,210
Do you two have any awareness of what
personal space and privacy are?
828
00:42:54,254 --> 00:42:57,621
Is the idea of keeping your
pesky noses out of my business
829
00:42:57,658 --> 00:43:00,456
so impossible for you
to fathom?
830
00:43:00,494 --> 00:43:02,485
Good night, everybody.
Thank you for coming
831
00:43:02,529 --> 00:43:05,498
but there's no party!
832
00:43:07,201 --> 00:43:08,600
Good night.
833
00:43:09,603 --> 00:43:10,831
Scott!
834
00:43:10,871 --> 00:43:12,736
Scott?
835
00:43:12,773 --> 00:43:14,798
Scott!
836
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:16,969
How could you do that
to Ryan and Mary?
837
00:43:17,010 --> 00:43:19,672
They went to all this trouble
to throw a party for you and...
838
00:43:19,713 --> 00:43:21,908
granted, I guess the people
they invited
839
00:43:21,949 --> 00:43:24,884
aren't the coolest people on the planet,
but they seem really nice.
840
00:43:24,918 --> 00:43:27,443
Can't you just be thankful
that you have such good friends?
841
00:43:27,488 --> 00:43:29,547
Leslie,
you don't understand, okay?
842
00:43:29,590 --> 00:43:32,252
There's something very very wrong
about Ryan and Mary.
843
00:43:32,292 --> 00:43:33,884
What?
What did they do?
844
00:43:33,927 --> 00:43:35,895
Well, they...
845
00:43:35,929 --> 00:43:37,692
and...
846
00:43:38,999 --> 00:43:42,765
It's hard to explain, okay?
But... they're freaks, all right?
847
00:43:42,803 --> 00:43:47,604
Wow. Okay, well remind me never
to throw you a surprise party.
848
00:43:47,641 --> 00:43:50,166
Leslie, wait, sorry.
Please...
849
00:43:50,210 --> 00:43:52,303
I'm sorry.
Could you just wait?
850
00:44:01,021 --> 00:44:03,148
Everyone?
851
00:44:05,426 --> 00:44:08,884
I... I am... I'm sorry about all this.
852
00:44:08,929 --> 00:44:10,829
Um, I hope you stay.
Please stay.
853
00:44:10,864 --> 00:44:14,459
It'd mean a lot to me.
Um, I'll be honest:
854
00:44:14,501 --> 00:44:17,026
I, uh, I...
855
00:44:17,070 --> 00:44:19,538
I don't have any friends
right now in L.A.
856
00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:23,566
So I didn't tell the few people
that I do know about my birthday
857
00:44:23,610 --> 00:44:27,444
because I was afraid that I would
look like a complete loser...
858
00:44:27,481 --> 00:44:29,415
um...
859
00:44:29,450 --> 00:44:31,816
if I didn't have anybody
to celebrate with.
860
00:44:33,086 --> 00:44:35,452
I, um,
I'm glad you're all here
861
00:44:35,489 --> 00:44:38,014
and I hope you'll stay
862
00:44:38,058 --> 00:44:40,049
and forgive me for
lashing out at you.
863
00:44:43,464 --> 00:44:45,625
And let's have some fun.
864
00:44:45,666 --> 00:44:48,567
DJ, drop it like it's hot.
865
00:44:51,405 --> 00:44:54,806
# Die now, die #
866
00:44:54,842 --> 00:44:58,209
# Die now, die #
867
00:44:58,245 --> 00:45:01,772
# Die now, die! #
868
00:45:01,815 --> 00:45:05,683
# Die now, die... #
869
00:45:13,594 --> 00:45:15,994
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
870
00:45:16,029 --> 00:45:17,621
You're not gonna leave, are you?
871
00:45:17,664 --> 00:45:21,896
I'll bet the DJ can play
some Norwegian black metal,
872
00:45:21,935 --> 00:45:23,994
maybe some Limp Bizkit.
873
00:45:24,037 --> 00:45:26,699
Uh, Limp Bizkit is
a deal breaker.
874
00:45:26,740 --> 00:45:28,537
# I can't wait #
875
00:45:59,439 --> 00:46:02,272
# My love #
876
00:46:02,309 --> 00:46:05,437
# Tell me what it's all about #
877
00:46:09,449 --> 00:46:11,917
Sporty Spice.
878
00:46:11,952 --> 00:46:14,420
- Oh!
- Look at that... cute.
879
00:46:16,156 --> 00:46:19,148
Holy shit, he really does live
with them. I thought you were kidding.
880
00:46:19,192 --> 00:46:20,750
Honey, you promised, remember?
881
00:46:20,794 --> 00:46:23,228
- I need to talk to you.
- Hi, I'm...
882
00:46:23,263 --> 00:46:24,992
Hi.
883
00:46:27,501 --> 00:46:28,991
Aww!
884
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:31,470
- Thank you, thank you.
- Mwah!
885
00:46:31,505 --> 00:46:35,942
Hey, Ted, you have history
with Ryan and Mary.
886
00:46:35,976 --> 00:46:38,501
Can I talk to you
about them?
887
00:46:38,545 --> 00:46:41,708
You're going to want something
much stronger than beer.
888
00:46:44,618 --> 00:46:47,018
Okay, I'm not even going to tell you
what I had to promise Ted
889
00:46:47,054 --> 00:46:48,351
to get him here.
890
00:46:48,388 --> 00:46:51,118
You know, it's not that
I mind doing it, but...
891
00:46:51,158 --> 00:46:53,422
I'm not gonna tell you.
892
00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:55,257
The joys of
a long-term relationship.
893
00:46:55,295 --> 00:46:56,853
Girl, you have no idea.
894
00:46:56,897 --> 00:46:58,592
No, I don't.
895
00:46:58,632 --> 00:47:00,691
Oh, speaking of which,
what's going on with that one?
896
00:47:00,734 --> 00:47:05,535
Yeah, that's the thing.
Um, Scott asked me to move in with him.
897
00:47:05,572 --> 00:47:08,040
Jeez, he doesn't waste
any time.
898
00:47:09,409 --> 00:47:11,172
Wait a minute...
what did you say?
899
00:47:11,211 --> 00:47:14,305
Well, I'm kinda leaning
toward yes.
900
00:47:15,382 --> 00:47:17,714
Not again.
Are you serious?
901
00:47:17,751 --> 00:47:20,413
- It's different this time.
- How? How is it different?
902
00:47:20,454 --> 00:47:23,480
Because I'm going to wait to
commit to a decision...
903
00:47:23,523 --> 00:47:24,649
Good... wait.
904
00:47:24,691 --> 00:47:28,024
- Until after we go
to your wedding together.
905
00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:31,963
A week? You're going to wait one week?
That's the difference?
906
00:47:31,999 --> 00:47:34,991
A week is long...
907
00:47:35,035 --> 00:47:36,195
- ish.
908
00:47:36,236 --> 00:47:38,727
Oh my God.
Have you even...
909
00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:40,967
- No. I know.
- So you're going to live here and...
910
00:47:41,008 --> 00:47:43,704
- No, it's his birthday tonight.
- Okay.
911
00:47:43,744 --> 00:47:46,770
And so I'm thinking, you know,
if he plays his cards right,
912
00:47:46,813 --> 00:47:49,782
- like...
- Oh my God.
913
00:47:49,816 --> 00:47:52,307
Oh my God!
914
00:47:52,352 --> 00:47:55,185
Okay, well, then
we're going to need this.
915
00:47:55,222 --> 00:47:56,211
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
916
00:47:56,256 --> 00:47:58,224
- Let's open that.
- Let's open it
917
00:47:58,258 --> 00:48:00,522
'cause we're both
gonna be busy.
918
00:48:11,571 --> 00:48:13,903
Damn near killed her!
919
00:48:13,940 --> 00:48:15,965
- We need to talk.
- You get the olives?
920
00:48:16,009 --> 00:48:18,569
How can you think about olives
at a time like this?
921
00:48:18,612 --> 00:48:21,445
Well, what am I supposed to put
in my martini, love? A pork chop?
922
00:48:21,481 --> 00:48:24,143
Just shut up and come
with me to the bathroom!
923
00:48:24,184 --> 00:48:25,845
Okay.
924
00:48:25,886 --> 00:48:28,218
Have a cocktail.
925
00:48:28,255 --> 00:48:30,985
See? They even go
to the friggin' can together.
926
00:48:31,024 --> 00:48:33,322
Let me ask you one thing:
Have you ever once seen them apart?
927
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,726
No, I guess not.
Not really.
928
00:48:35,762 --> 00:48:38,890
No, of course not, because they,
my friend, are a couple monster.
929
00:48:38,932 --> 00:48:41,366
- A couple monster?
- They go to lunch together;
930
00:48:41,401 --> 00:48:43,266
they go to the gym together;
they go to bars together;
931
00:48:43,303 --> 00:48:46,966
they commute together.
I heard they share a cubicle at work...
932
00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:50,875
not an office; a cubicle.
That's not right.
933
00:48:51,878 --> 00:48:53,573
And the sick part
about it is,
934
00:48:53,613 --> 00:48:55,342
because they spend
all of their time together,
935
00:48:55,382 --> 00:48:57,782
they have absolutely nothing
left to talk about...
936
00:48:57,818 --> 00:49:01,049
nothing to keep them from
going lighthouse crazy.
937
00:49:01,088 --> 00:49:03,716
- That's why they latch.
- Latch?
938
00:49:03,757 --> 00:49:06,954
Back when I knew them, they spent
all of their time with this girl,
939
00:49:06,993 --> 00:49:09,587
um, Amy. Amy was like
the buffer between them.
940
00:49:09,629 --> 00:49:10,823
She was their third wheel.
941
00:49:10,864 --> 00:49:12,991
She was the one they
could talk about their day with.
942
00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:14,660
She was the one
that they could deflect
943
00:49:14,701 --> 00:49:16,931
all their weird fuck tension onto
instead of each other.
944
00:49:16,970 --> 00:49:18,699
- So what happened to Amy?
- Don't know.
945
00:49:18,739 --> 00:49:21,139
She got wise, got out. Maybe they
cooked and ate her. Who knows?
946
00:49:21,174 --> 00:49:24,940
But the important thing is, dude,
you are the new Amy.
947
00:49:25,979 --> 00:49:28,106
And from what
you've told me
948
00:49:28,148 --> 00:49:30,139
about them trying to screw up
your dates with Leslie...
949
00:49:30,183 --> 00:49:33,277
I didn't say that they were trying.
They just... they nearly did.
950
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:34,685
Think about it:
951
00:49:34,721 --> 00:49:36,916
If you end up with Leslie,
they are out of the picture.
952
00:49:36,957 --> 00:49:39,585
They are clearly not
going to let that happen.
953
00:49:39,626 --> 00:49:41,150
And let me tell you
one more thing:
954
00:49:41,194 --> 00:49:42,889
If I wanted to make you
look like a loser
955
00:49:42,929 --> 00:49:44,658
in front of a potential girlfriend,
956
00:49:44,698 --> 00:49:48,225
this is pretty much exactly
the party I would throw for you.
957
00:49:52,205 --> 00:49:54,673
Happy birthday, Amy.
958
00:50:04,584 --> 00:50:06,279
And that's when
I realized they were trying
959
00:50:06,319 --> 00:50:08,719
to sabotage my relationship
with Leslie.
960
00:50:08,755 --> 00:50:10,245
I don't know, man.
961
00:50:10,290 --> 00:50:12,850
Sounds like they were just maybe
trying to keep you from rushing it,
962
00:50:12,893 --> 00:50:14,554
like they said they would do.
963
00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:17,791
You're listening to Ted?
Leslie told you he was a cynic.
964
00:50:17,831 --> 00:50:20,231
Plus you planned
to kick 'em out.
965
00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:21,962
That's a pretty douchey move.
966
00:50:22,002 --> 00:50:24,630
Hey, whose side are
you guys on anyway?
967
00:50:24,671 --> 00:50:26,138
Right now?
968
00:50:26,173 --> 00:50:29,142
Don't answer that until
you hear the rest.
969
00:50:29,176 --> 00:50:32,942
Well, thanks again for
helping with the table.
970
00:50:32,979 --> 00:50:35,174
Have fun, you two.
Drive safe.
971
00:50:35,215 --> 00:50:37,274
Yeah, get home
carefully now.
972
00:50:46,660 --> 00:50:50,926
Well, that was some party.
973
00:50:50,964 --> 00:50:52,329
Mmm.
974
00:50:55,235 --> 00:50:58,033
Well, gosh,
that was fun, huh?
975
00:50:58,071 --> 00:50:59,595
Wasn't that fun?
976
00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:03,006
Tables are inside;
guests have all left. It's all good.
977
00:51:03,043 --> 00:51:06,069
Say, Leslie, do you need
a ride somewhere, honey?
978
00:51:06,112 --> 00:51:08,410
It doesn't matter how far it is.
We'd be happy to take you.
979
00:51:08,448 --> 00:51:10,643
Oh, I think I'm gonna
stay for a little bit.
980
00:51:10,684 --> 00:51:12,675
Wonderful!
981
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:16,485
You know, we need to make sure
that we do this all the time,
982
00:51:16,523 --> 00:51:18,855
the four of us just hosting
these little shindigs.
983
00:51:18,892 --> 00:51:20,416
- Mm-hmm.
- The four of us?
984
00:51:20,460 --> 00:51:23,520
Oh, we heard the big news and
we could not be happier.
985
00:51:23,563 --> 00:51:26,896
I mean, this place is plenty
big enough for four.
986
00:51:26,933 --> 00:51:28,958
- When you moving in, Lisa?
- Leslie.
987
00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:31,368
- God damn it.
- It's okay, honey.
988
00:51:31,404 --> 00:51:33,702
Hold on, guys. There's some stuff
we need to discuss first.
989
00:51:33,740 --> 00:51:36,208
- What stuff?
- Yeah, what kind of stuff?
990
00:51:36,243 --> 00:51:38,939
I mean, I'm assuming
she'll live in your room,
991
00:51:38,979 --> 00:51:42,005
go in a fourth on rent and utilities,
buy TP when it's her turn.
992
00:51:42,048 --> 00:51:44,744
And besides that, what is there
really to discuss?
993
00:51:44,784 --> 00:51:47,184
Look, this is not how
I wanted this to come up.
994
00:51:47,220 --> 00:51:48,209
Mmm, why not?
995
00:51:48,255 --> 00:51:50,120
How did you want it
to come up, Scottsdale?
996
00:51:50,156 --> 00:51:52,181
Were you gonna
shoot us an email?
997
00:51:52,225 --> 00:51:55,956
Or maybe you were
gonna blog it on... your blog?
998
00:51:56,963 --> 00:51:58,692
Can we just talk about this
another time?
999
00:51:58,732 --> 00:52:00,723
Scotty Dog, you seem
a little tense.
1000
00:52:00,767 --> 00:52:02,200
Are you sure you're okay?
1001
00:52:02,235 --> 00:52:05,727
Darling, I think maybe we should discuss
this under the light of a new day.
1002
00:52:05,772 --> 00:52:07,865
You know, honey,
you're right.
1003
00:52:07,908 --> 00:52:09,569
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1004
00:52:09,609 --> 00:52:12,305
- Let's go.
- Good night, roommates.
1005
00:52:24,991 --> 00:52:26,583
I'm so sorry that happened.
1006
00:52:26,626 --> 00:52:28,890
No, I'm sorry.
I said something to Nerissa
1007
00:52:28,929 --> 00:52:30,624
and she must have said
something to Mary
1008
00:52:30,664 --> 00:52:32,598
without realizing it was...
1009
00:52:32,632 --> 00:52:35,533
whatever it was.
1010
00:52:35,568 --> 00:52:37,593
I'll talk to them
tomorrow morning.
1011
00:52:39,906 --> 00:52:42,704
Oh, that's it, Farmer Jack.
1012
00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:45,233
Oh, shit.
Just wait.
1013
00:52:45,278 --> 00:52:46,973
- Oh!
- We'll miss the fall!
1014
00:52:48,381 --> 00:52:49,370
- Mmm!
- Ahh!
1015
00:52:49,416 --> 00:52:52,283
- Ryan? Hey hey, Ryan!
- Ahhh!
1016
00:52:52,319 --> 00:52:54,947
Mary, listen to me.
Okay, tonight,
1017
00:52:54,988 --> 00:52:57,923
I beg you, while Leslie's here,
could you please not...
1018
00:52:57,958 --> 00:52:59,983
- Please...
- Please don't.
1019
00:53:00,026 --> 00:53:02,824
- Sounds like... how many syllables?
- Is it bigger than a breadbox?
1020
00:53:02,862 --> 00:53:04,591
Please don't have sex
while Leslie is here.
1021
00:53:04,631 --> 00:53:06,326
- What?
- Why not?
1022
00:53:06,366 --> 00:53:09,893
Because the sound...
the noise that you two make,
1023
00:53:09,936 --> 00:53:11,528
it's... it's insane,
1024
00:53:11,571 --> 00:53:14,369
both in the volume
and the graphicness.
1025
00:53:14,407 --> 00:53:16,136
Scott,
1026
00:53:16,176 --> 00:53:19,737
have you been listening to us
have sex?
1027
00:53:20,747 --> 00:53:23,011
Shh! No, I haven't been listening.
I can just hear it.
1028
00:53:23,049 --> 00:53:25,677
How many times, Scott?
1029
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:27,584
Every.
1030
00:53:27,620 --> 00:53:30,680
All right? I turn my music up,
but I can still hear it.
1031
00:53:30,724 --> 00:53:32,658
This is creepy.
If we had known
1032
00:53:32,692 --> 00:53:36,128
that you were eavesdropping
on our sex...
1033
00:53:36,162 --> 00:53:39,325
I know what you're trying to do.
You're trying to break me and Lisa up...
1034
00:53:39,366 --> 00:53:40,731
- Leslie!
- Hard name.
1035
00:53:40,767 --> 00:53:41,995
- It is.
- It is, yeah.
1036
00:53:42,035 --> 00:53:45,004
We are not trying to
break you up, Scotty.
1037
00:53:45,038 --> 00:53:47,871
We are just trying to
slow you down.
1038
00:53:47,907 --> 00:53:49,374
Like we said we would, pal.
1039
00:53:49,409 --> 00:53:51,468
No rushing, remember? Huh?
1040
00:53:51,511 --> 00:53:53,979
- That deal is off.
- God damn it, Scott!
1041
00:53:54,014 --> 00:53:56,005
No one wants to see it
work out between you and Leslie
1042
00:53:56,049 --> 00:53:59,314
more than Ryan and I, but you are
screwing everything up.
1043
00:53:59,352 --> 00:54:00,649
What... what am I screwing up?
1044
00:54:00,687 --> 00:54:03,212
You asked her to move in with you
after two dates.
1045
00:54:03,256 --> 00:54:04,883
- Two!
- Come on, man.
1046
00:54:04,924 --> 00:54:07,051
Couldn't scare her away any faster
if you told her you were
1047
00:54:07,093 --> 00:54:10,824
a Nazi sympathizer who's into
fondling puppy balls!
1048
00:54:10,864 --> 00:54:14,061
- Or a chronic masturbator.
- You know, with a Scott fetish.
1049
00:54:14,100 --> 00:54:15,897
- Into she-males!
- Furries!
1050
00:54:15,935 --> 00:54:17,732
- Bukaki.
- Tentacle porn.
1051
00:54:17,771 --> 00:54:19,671
Ahhh!
1052
00:54:23,610 --> 00:54:25,441
Ooh!
1053
00:54:25,478 --> 00:54:27,946
It was
for your own good.
1054
00:54:27,981 --> 00:54:30,472
This is for my own good.
1055
00:54:30,517 --> 00:54:32,280
Ahhh!
1056
00:54:34,454 --> 00:54:37,548
- I got you. Just get...
- Eat less cake, bitch!
1057
00:54:38,658 --> 00:54:40,819
How dare you, sir?
1058
00:54:43,296 --> 00:54:45,560
- Oh, I got you.
- No, no!
1059
00:54:45,598 --> 00:54:47,293
Don't let him go!
1060
00:54:47,333 --> 00:54:49,392
Ahh!
I got him!
1061
00:54:50,403 --> 00:54:53,236
- Scott!
- Ahh! Bad!
1062
00:54:53,273 --> 00:54:55,639
- Oh, shit.
- Ha ha!
1063
00:54:55,675 --> 00:54:59,076
Oh, God,
this was fun.
1064
00:54:59,112 --> 00:55:01,580
Oh, it is never
a dull moment here.
1065
00:55:01,614 --> 00:55:03,275
- Let me tell you.
- I'll admit
1066
00:55:03,316 --> 00:55:05,307
that this probably looks
kinda bad...
1067
00:55:05,351 --> 00:55:07,251
Yeah, but you know,
just playing.
1068
00:55:07,287 --> 00:55:08,811
- Tomfoolery.
- Shenanigans.
1069
00:55:08,855 --> 00:55:11,016
- Rough-housing.
- Little, uh...
1070
00:55:11,057 --> 00:55:13,719
no big biggie.
You know, you want some cake?
1071
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,990
No, thanks.
1072
00:55:17,230 --> 00:55:18,754
I'm gonna go.
1073
00:55:18,798 --> 00:55:20,766
It was great
to see you, Leslie.
1074
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,360
- See you soon, roomie.
- Can I drive you home?
1075
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:24,631
That's okay.
1076
00:55:24,671 --> 00:55:27,538
I know this looks insane,
but it's like they said, you know?
1077
00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:31,237
- Just playing around.
- Mmm! Ahhh!
1078
00:55:31,277 --> 00:55:33,108
- You're delicious.
- No, you're delicious.
1079
00:55:33,146 --> 00:55:35,307
We're still on for
the wedding next week, right?
1080
00:55:35,348 --> 00:55:38,442
- You're like a cupcake!
- I don't know.
1081
00:55:38,485 --> 00:55:42,444
Listen, Leslie, this is not me.
Okay? None of this is.
1082
00:55:42,489 --> 00:55:45,822
Just please give me one more chance
without anybody else around,
1083
00:55:45,859 --> 00:55:47,588
- just me.
- We're still on for the wedding.
1084
00:55:47,627 --> 00:55:49,185
I'll see you at the wedding.
1085
00:55:49,229 --> 00:55:51,720
You want
to hang out before?
1086
00:55:51,764 --> 00:55:55,063
Let's just stick with the wedding.
I mean, you've got this thing
1087
00:55:55,101 --> 00:55:57,365
going on with your roommates that
you need to work out.
1088
00:55:57,403 --> 00:55:59,462
I know, I will. Promise.
1089
00:55:59,506 --> 00:56:01,337
- Okay.
- Okay.
1090
00:56:01,374 --> 00:56:02,739
Bye.
1091
00:56:03,943 --> 00:56:06,036
Come on! Yeah!
1092
00:56:08,014 --> 00:56:10,710
- Harder!
- Get there, get there, get there!
1093
00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:12,684
- Oh! Hi!
- Hey!
1094
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,517
Great party, isn't it?
Huh? Ha ha!
1095
00:56:15,555 --> 00:56:17,079
You two are sick.
1096
00:56:17,123 --> 00:56:19,785
I want you out of this apartment.
I want you out of my life!
1097
00:56:19,826 --> 00:56:21,453
- Really?
- We love you!
1098
00:56:27,901 --> 00:56:30,267
I didn't see them at all
that last week.
1099
00:56:30,303 --> 00:56:33,329
I assumed they'd just
gone away for good.
1100
00:56:33,373 --> 00:56:35,864
Well, did they?
1101
00:56:35,909 --> 00:56:38,241
Does herpes?
1102
00:56:39,379 --> 00:56:41,711
No.
1103
00:57:14,948 --> 00:57:17,940
What the fuck
are you doing here?
1104
00:57:19,118 --> 00:57:21,052
Who invited that guy?
1105
00:57:21,087 --> 00:57:22,952
Who says "fuck" in church?
1106
00:57:26,659 --> 00:57:29,059
It's fine.
Try not to worry about it.
1107
00:57:29,095 --> 00:57:30,756
Okay.
1108
00:57:30,797 --> 00:57:31,957
- Yeah, go.
- I'm...
1109
00:57:31,998 --> 00:57:33,989
- Okay. Sorry.
- It's fine.
1110
00:57:34,033 --> 00:57:35,091
It's fine, right?
1111
00:57:35,134 --> 00:57:39,161
Well, that was
a beautiful service. Ha ha.
1112
00:57:39,205 --> 00:57:42,140
Aside from your little outburst,
yeah, it was lovely.
1113
00:57:42,175 --> 00:57:43,642
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
1114
00:57:43,676 --> 00:57:47,271
I just couldn't believe they had
the gall to show up here.
1115
00:57:47,313 --> 00:57:49,679
- Who?
- Ryan and Mary.
1116
00:57:50,683 --> 00:57:53,914
I did the guest list with Nerissa.
Ryan and Mary weren't invited.
1117
00:57:53,953 --> 00:57:56,922
Yeah, like that would stop them.
Where the hell did they go anyway?
1118
00:57:56,956 --> 00:57:58,617
- Who?
- Ryan and Mary.
1119
00:57:58,658 --> 00:58:01,320
Okay, I have to
do photographs.
1120
00:58:01,361 --> 00:58:05,388
Just stay here and try to be...
1121
00:58:05,431 --> 00:58:07,490
sane-ish.
1122
00:58:23,783 --> 00:58:26,411
# I can't wait... #
1123
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,412
Aha!
What are you two doing here?
1124
00:58:31,457 --> 00:58:34,221
Making out.
What does it look like we're doing?
1125
00:58:34,260 --> 00:58:36,125
Weddings make me
so horny.
1126
00:58:36,162 --> 00:58:38,926
Of course! Everything makes you horny.
Toaster ovens make you horny.
1127
00:58:38,965 --> 00:58:40,193
You were not invited.
1128
00:58:40,233 --> 00:58:44,397
That is never gonna stop us from
helping out our good buddy.
1129
00:58:44,437 --> 00:58:47,463
Friendship does not wait for
an invitation, mister.
1130
00:58:47,507 --> 00:58:50,203
And besides,
we have a contract.
1131
00:58:55,548 --> 00:58:58,016
This contract...
1132
00:58:59,352 --> 00:59:02,344
is null and void,
same as our friendship.
1133
00:59:02,388 --> 00:59:04,652
- Unappreciative asshole!
- Yeah.
1134
00:59:28,381 --> 00:59:30,849
Scott, what are you doing?
1135
00:59:31,951 --> 00:59:35,409
Leslie, I didn't bring this gift
but it has my name on it.
1136
00:59:35,455 --> 00:59:39,118
Why would that be?
1137
00:59:39,158 --> 00:59:41,092
You see, Ryan and Mary
1138
00:59:41,127 --> 00:59:43,357
placed this gift
with my name on it
1139
00:59:43,396 --> 00:59:45,193
to set me up to
make me look bad.
1140
00:59:45,231 --> 00:59:47,028
How does the gift
make you look bad?
1141
00:59:47,066 --> 00:59:49,296
See, it's not a gift.
1142
00:59:49,335 --> 00:59:52,304
It's a trap. It's probably a box
of tainted pork
1143
00:59:52,338 --> 00:59:55,432
or dogshit or angry bees.
1144
00:59:55,475 --> 00:59:57,966
- I have to get rid of it.
- Are you completely insane?
1145
00:59:58,010 --> 00:59:59,773
- No, I...
- Young man,
1146
00:59:59,812 --> 01:00:02,212
any reason you're absconding
with the gift I brought?
1147
01:00:02,248 --> 01:00:05,046
I... I'm sorry, but this
isn't your gift.
1148
01:00:05,084 --> 01:00:06,517
I assure you, it is.
1149
01:00:06,552 --> 01:00:10,613
- Scott?
- Now look, you bizarre human being...
1150
01:00:10,656 --> 01:00:13,022
- Okay, Scott, you're making a scene.
- This package contains
1151
01:00:13,059 --> 01:00:16,153
- a ridiculously expensive...
- Just give him the gift.
1152
01:00:16,195 --> 01:00:18,959
- Give him the gift. Give him the gift!
- It's Leslie Green's date.
1153
01:00:18,998 --> 01:00:20,966
- I remember placing it on that table...
- Why's he picking on Dr. Cooper?
1154
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,763
- An hour ago!
If you don't believe me,
1155
01:00:22,802 --> 01:00:25,236
make a complete ass of yourself
and open it!
1156
01:00:25,271 --> 01:00:27,603
Oh, we're way beyond
the complete-ass situation.
1157
01:00:29,442 --> 01:00:32,411
- Leslie!
- Oh!
1158
01:00:35,748 --> 01:00:37,272
Oh my God.
1159
01:00:37,316 --> 01:00:39,284
What the fuck?
1160
01:00:39,318 --> 01:00:41,752
Oh!
1161
01:00:41,788 --> 01:00:44,279
Leslie, come on.
Look, this isn't me, okay?
1162
01:00:44,323 --> 01:00:47,053
- The... I'm not usually like this.
- What are you usually like?
1163
01:00:47,093 --> 01:00:49,618
Normal, I swear.
1164
01:00:49,662 --> 01:00:52,062
This is Ryan and Mary, okay?
1165
01:00:52,098 --> 01:00:55,033
- They're trying to keep us apart.
- Why would they want to do that?
1166
01:00:55,067 --> 01:00:57,365
Because they need me.
1167
01:00:57,403 --> 01:00:59,268
They need a third wheel
to keep sane.
1168
01:00:59,305 --> 01:01:01,068
That's why they keep trying
to scare you off,
1169
01:01:01,107 --> 01:01:02,938
so they can have me
all to themselves.
1170
01:01:02,975 --> 01:01:06,001
And how did you come up
with this incredible theory?
1171
01:01:06,045 --> 01:01:08,411
Actually, Ted said it.
1172
01:01:08,448 --> 01:01:11,349
You're going to take anything
Ted says seriously?
1173
01:01:11,384 --> 01:01:14,114
But it makes sense.
They say they're trying to keep me
1174
01:01:14,153 --> 01:01:16,018
from rushing into
anything with you, but...
1175
01:01:16,055 --> 01:01:18,250
But we were rushing.
1176
01:01:18,291 --> 01:01:21,317
I mean, the fact that we were even
considering moving in together
1177
01:01:21,360 --> 01:01:23,760
after a couple of nice dates...
that's rushing.
1178
01:01:23,796 --> 01:01:26,060
I mean, I was willing
to consider it
1179
01:01:26,098 --> 01:01:28,225
- because I...
- "Was"?
1180
01:01:28,267 --> 01:01:31,100
Why are you speaking in
the past tense like that?
1181
01:01:31,137 --> 01:01:33,435
Because I don't know you, Scott.
1182
01:01:33,473 --> 01:01:35,464
I don't know you at all.
1183
01:01:35,508 --> 01:01:38,341
- But it's Ryan and Mary...
- Scott.
1184
01:02:03,469 --> 01:02:05,562
Leslie won't return
my phone calls.
1185
01:02:05,605 --> 01:02:08,904
I haven't been back
to the apartment.
1186
01:02:08,941 --> 01:02:12,399
They're probably up there
waiting to strike again.
1187
01:02:12,445 --> 01:02:15,846
- Jackals!
- Well, they did kind of have a point.
1188
01:02:15,882 --> 01:02:18,510
- What point?
- About the rushing it with Lisa.
1189
01:02:18,551 --> 01:02:21,520
- Leslie!
- Ooh, sorry.
1190
01:02:21,554 --> 01:02:24,250
Maybe they really thought
they were doing the right thing.
1191
01:02:24,290 --> 01:02:26,850
I mean, sure, they're a little strange,
but you know,
1192
01:02:26,893 --> 01:02:28,918
their hearts were
in the right place.
1193
01:02:28,961 --> 01:02:31,259
Have you heard a word
that I have said?
1194
01:02:31,297 --> 01:02:33,492
Have you?
1195
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,901
"Have you"!
1196
01:02:54,754 --> 01:02:56,517
Oh!
1197
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:03,228
Oh, golly,
did we wake you?
1198
01:03:03,262 --> 01:03:06,095
Yeah, what lousy friends
we must be.
1199
01:03:06,132 --> 01:03:09,158
Of course, you know all about
being a lousy friend, huh, Scott?
1200
01:03:09,201 --> 01:03:10,691
Me?
1201
01:03:10,736 --> 01:03:13,466
After everything we've been through...
the good times
1202
01:03:13,506 --> 01:03:15,940
We helped you rebound, man.
1203
01:03:15,975 --> 01:03:19,775
We were just trying to help you like
we promised you we would
1204
01:03:19,812 --> 01:03:22,178
and you treated us
1205
01:03:22,214 --> 01:03:25,945
like... like we are a couple of raging
lunatics or something.
1206
01:03:28,688 --> 01:03:30,212
I'm sorry.
1207
01:03:33,059 --> 01:03:35,289
Just put your keys
on the counter.
1208
01:03:42,335 --> 01:03:43,825
Both of them.
1209
01:03:43,869 --> 01:03:46,565
We only had the one.
1210
01:03:46,606 --> 01:03:48,335
Of course.
1211
01:03:48,374 --> 01:03:52,071
Why would you need two?
You probably share a toothbrush.
1212
01:03:54,547 --> 01:03:57,812
You'll be happy to know we'll
be packed out by tonight.
1213
01:03:57,850 --> 01:04:00,580
- Super.
- You'll never hear from us again.
1214
01:04:10,296 --> 01:04:13,322
"We will not..."
1215
01:04:13,366 --> 01:04:15,357
I want you to sign this contract.
1216
01:04:15,401 --> 01:04:17,392
You said that I will not
hear from you again.
1217
01:04:17,436 --> 01:04:19,802
I want to make it official.
1218
01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:27,503
There, prick.
1219
01:04:27,546 --> 01:04:29,514
Thanks, bitch.
1220
01:04:33,085 --> 01:04:35,576
- Choke on it, ass.
- Shhh!
1221
01:04:35,621 --> 01:04:38,522
We have a contract.
1222
01:04:39,592 --> 01:04:41,321
Ryan?
1223
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:43,920
It is a tragedy
that we can't talk to Scott
1224
01:04:43,963 --> 01:04:46,898
'cause we can't tell him
where Leslie's going.
1225
01:04:46,932 --> 01:04:49,298
That is a shame.
I heard that she's leaving L.A.
1226
01:04:49,335 --> 01:04:52,133
- I heard the same thing.
- What?
1227
01:04:52,171 --> 01:04:53,832
Oh!
1228
01:04:55,107 --> 01:04:57,803
No no, there's something that
you two know and you're not telling me.
1229
01:05:00,346 --> 01:05:02,143
Fine!
1230
01:05:04,784 --> 01:05:06,251
Now tell me.
1231
01:05:07,319 --> 01:05:10,186
We overheard Leslie
talking to some friends at the wedding
1232
01:05:10,222 --> 01:05:12,417
- after you left.
- You stayed after I left?
1233
01:05:12,458 --> 01:05:14,926
- Duh.
- Open bar, dude.
1234
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:16,222
Come on.
1235
01:05:16,262 --> 01:05:18,992
She said she needed to
get out of L.A.
1236
01:05:19,031 --> 01:05:20,726
And she decided...
1237
01:05:23,102 --> 01:05:25,195
to go work with her sister.
1238
01:05:25,237 --> 01:05:27,637
- Where?
- If we tell you,
1239
01:05:27,673 --> 01:05:29,971
you have to promise
to forgive us, huh?
1240
01:05:30,009 --> 01:05:32,204
Fine, I forgive you.
You're forgiven.
1241
01:05:32,244 --> 01:05:34,974
- Now tell me.
- Not so fast.
1242
01:05:42,588 --> 01:05:44,146
I got it.
By signing here,
1243
01:05:44,223 --> 01:05:48,387
you acknowledge that we have acted
entirely in your best interest.
1244
01:05:48,427 --> 01:05:50,657
Fine. Fine.
I'm willing to buy that for now.
1245
01:05:50,696 --> 01:05:54,359
And that we really do care
about you as a friend.
1246
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:55,833
Okay, yes. Whatever.
1247
01:05:55,868 --> 01:05:59,964
And if you go after Leslie,
we get to come with you.
1248
01:06:00,005 --> 01:06:01,905
No no no!
No way. Nah!
1249
01:06:01,941 --> 01:06:05,707
Dude, your piece-of-shit car
will never make it. You need us.
1250
01:06:05,745 --> 01:06:09,545
And company.
No one likes to travel alone.
1251
01:06:09,582 --> 01:06:11,880
- Huh?
- I can rent a car.
1252
01:06:11,917 --> 01:06:16,047
And trust me, traveling alone
really beats the alternative.
1253
01:06:16,088 --> 01:06:17,885
Hmm.
1254
01:06:17,923 --> 01:06:20,551
Suit yourself.
1255
01:06:20,593 --> 01:06:23,061
It just would have been such
a great opportunity
1256
01:06:23,095 --> 01:06:25,325
for Ryan and me
to explain to Leslie
1257
01:06:25,364 --> 01:06:28,527
that we caused all of this
and not you,
1258
01:06:28,567 --> 01:06:30,865
but, hey, we don't...
1259
01:06:30,903 --> 01:06:32,666
Seriously?
1260
01:06:32,705 --> 01:06:35,333
- Yeah.
- We want out of this friendship.
1261
01:06:35,374 --> 01:06:38,275
That means no loose ends;
no unfinished business.
1262
01:06:38,310 --> 01:06:41,279
- We seek closure, nothing more.
- Nothing more.
1263
01:06:41,313 --> 01:06:42,940
Huh?
1264
01:06:42,982 --> 01:06:45,177
Okay, we'll go together.
1265
01:06:45,217 --> 01:06:47,515
Just whatever...
whatever it takes.
1266
01:06:47,553 --> 01:06:49,544
Just tell me where she is.
1267
01:06:49,588 --> 01:06:53,649
Okay, I'm gonna need you to sign here
and initial here and here and here.
1268
01:06:53,692 --> 01:06:55,717
That one too.
1269
01:06:55,761 --> 01:06:56,955
- Good eye.
- Thank you.
1270
01:06:56,996 --> 01:06:59,328
You guys are sick.
1271
01:06:59,365 --> 01:07:02,061
Okay. Now...
1272
01:07:02,101 --> 01:07:03,966
tell me where she is.
1273
01:07:04,003 --> 01:07:07,268
She went to work for
her sister's theater in Oregon.
1274
01:07:07,306 --> 01:07:09,137
Okay, where in Oregon?
1275
01:07:09,175 --> 01:07:11,439
You're gonna find out
when we get there.
1276
01:07:11,477 --> 01:07:13,775
- Wiki-wiki road trip!
- Yeah!
1277
01:07:13,813 --> 01:07:15,280
Blau!
1278
01:07:16,482 --> 01:07:18,507
# The love we have #
1279
01:07:18,551 --> 01:07:22,749
# Will never fade away #
1280
01:07:23,956 --> 01:07:27,824
# If ever two hearts were
meant to be #
1281
01:07:27,860 --> 01:07:29,760
# Forever in love #
1282
01:07:29,795 --> 01:07:32,161
# It's you and me #
1283
01:07:32,198 --> 01:07:34,132
# Every Ionely heart #
1284
01:07:34,166 --> 01:07:36,464
# Every Ionely moment #
1285
01:07:36,502 --> 01:07:38,800
# Feels like eternity #
1286
01:07:38,838 --> 01:07:40,567
# Ah oooh #
1287
01:07:40,606 --> 01:07:41,766
- # The life we... #
- Oh oh oh.
1288
01:07:41,807 --> 01:07:44,571
- You're tailgating.
- I'm not, sweetheart.
1289
01:07:44,610 --> 01:07:46,441
Please back up, dear.
1290
01:07:46,478 --> 01:07:48,776
Damn it, woman,
I know what I'm doing, shrew.
1291
01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:50,714
- Assrod.
- Harpie.
1292
01:07:50,749 --> 01:07:53,013
- Nancy boy.
- Slut.
1293
01:07:53,052 --> 01:07:54,212
- Fartknocker.
- Whore!
1294
01:07:54,253 --> 01:07:55,481
Fuckstick!
1295
01:07:55,521 --> 01:07:57,989
I fucking love
this fighting shit.
1296
01:07:58,023 --> 01:08:00,082
- I do too. It's amazing!
- Ahh!
1297
01:08:00,125 --> 01:08:02,923
Scott, what's the plan
with Leslie?
1298
01:08:02,962 --> 01:08:05,863
I don't really have a plan;
I'm just gonna play it by ear.
1299
01:08:05,898 --> 01:08:08,423
Scotty, you gotta
have a game plan.
1300
01:08:08,467 --> 01:08:11,630
We made a plan a long time ago;
we've stuck to it.
1301
01:08:11,670 --> 01:08:13,865
How do you think we've been
together all these years, huh?
1302
01:08:13,906 --> 01:08:15,897
Just because you've done
something for a long time
1303
01:08:15,941 --> 01:08:17,340
doesn't mean you're doing it well.
1304
01:08:17,376 --> 01:08:20,174
Yeah, look at the Clippers.
Hi-yo! Ha ha!
1305
01:08:20,212 --> 01:08:22,737
- Burn, right?
- Watch it, laughing boy.
1306
01:08:22,781 --> 01:08:24,772
I was talking about the Clippers.
I wasn't talking about us. Jesus Christ.
1307
01:08:24,817 --> 01:08:28,218
Ryan, pull off here.
Let's stay for the night.
1308
01:08:28,254 --> 01:08:29,949
Dude, we're, like,
not even halfway there.
1309
01:08:29,989 --> 01:08:32,685
If we stop now, it's gonna take us
two days to get there.
1310
01:08:32,725 --> 01:08:34,386
I know.
1311
01:08:34,426 --> 01:08:36,121
I've got a plan.
1312
01:08:36,161 --> 01:08:38,493
Ho ho, you've got
a plan now. Okay.
1313
01:08:38,530 --> 01:08:40,157
- All right, Mr. Plan.
- Okay.
1314
01:08:44,737 --> 01:08:47,433
- Room service.
- Land shark!
1315
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:04,216
Ow! We were thinking
1316
01:09:04,256 --> 01:09:05,985
since we're on vacation,
1317
01:09:06,025 --> 01:09:08,619
maybe we should get
a little drinky-poo!
1318
01:09:08,661 --> 01:09:11,494
I'll go, but only with Ryan.
1319
01:09:11,530 --> 01:09:13,293
- What?
- Huh?
1320
01:09:13,332 --> 01:09:15,823
I want to go out for a beer,
but just us guys.
1321
01:09:15,868 --> 01:09:18,803
Well, do I smell funny
or something?
1322
01:09:18,837 --> 01:09:22,102
Tonight I'll go out with Ryan;
tomorrow I'll go out with Mary...
1323
01:09:23,342 --> 01:09:24,502
alone.
1324
01:09:24,543 --> 01:09:26,010
Why?
1325
01:09:26,045 --> 01:09:28,445
Because couples do things
separately.
1326
01:09:28,480 --> 01:09:31,074
Well, did you ever think
1327
01:09:31,116 --> 01:09:34,017
that maybe we just enjoy each other's
company more than most couples?
1328
01:09:34,053 --> 01:09:36,886
Most couples spend a good
percentage of any relationship
1329
01:09:36,922 --> 01:09:38,947
sick of each other's face.
1330
01:09:38,991 --> 01:09:40,822
That's just part of
being in love.
1331
01:09:40,859 --> 01:09:42,588
Ha! Ha, hmm.
1332
01:09:42,628 --> 01:09:46,587
That is not a part
that I'm interested in...
1333
01:09:46,632 --> 01:09:49,533
but I do want that drink.
1334
01:09:49,568 --> 01:09:51,559
You...
1335
01:09:57,209 --> 01:09:59,439
Well, what do I do?
1336
01:09:59,478 --> 01:10:02,641
# I got a stripper pole
in my bedroom #
1337
01:10:02,681 --> 01:10:05,377
# And I like the way
you drop it low #
1338
01:10:05,417 --> 01:10:07,977
# What you tryin' to do,
shorty? #
1339
01:10:08,020 --> 01:10:11,683
# Oh, I can tell that
you're down for whatever #
1340
01:10:11,724 --> 01:10:13,954
# If you think that
you can handle me #
1341
01:10:13,993 --> 01:10:15,085
# I'm trying... #
1342
01:10:15,127 --> 01:10:17,186
I never really took you
for a stripper type.
1343
01:10:17,229 --> 01:10:19,959
Oh, no, I've never been
to a strip club before.
1344
01:10:23,502 --> 01:10:26,699
Oh, 11.
1345
01:10:26,739 --> 01:10:28,331
11 what?
1346
01:10:28,374 --> 01:10:32,140
11 breasts I've seen.
1347
01:10:32,177 --> 01:10:33,804
You've only seen
11 breasts?
1348
01:10:33,846 --> 01:10:37,179
I mean, you know, in real life.
I've seen more on, you know, TV
1349
01:10:37,216 --> 01:10:40,049
and magazines.
Internet... ho!
1350
01:10:40,085 --> 01:10:42,553
Oh... 13.
1351
01:10:42,588 --> 01:10:45,751
- Two.
- Why is this an odd number?
1352
01:10:45,791 --> 01:10:48,191
I saw one of my grandma's
when I was a kid.
1353
01:10:48,227 --> 01:10:49,694
I wish I hadn't asked.
1354
01:10:49,728 --> 01:10:52,822
Nana; Mary, naturally;
1355
01:10:52,865 --> 01:10:55,732
uh, Wendy Harper; Tracy Price;
1356
01:10:55,768 --> 01:10:58,760
Theresa What's-her-name;
and, uh...
1357
01:10:58,804 --> 01:11:01,204
and these strippers, yeah.
1358
01:11:01,240 --> 01:11:03,265
14!
Even number! Boom.
1359
01:11:03,308 --> 01:11:05,833
And these other girls were, what?
Exes?
1360
01:11:05,878 --> 01:11:08,039
No. No, Mary's the only girl
I've ever dated.
1361
01:11:08,080 --> 01:11:10,173
Uh, they were girls Mary and I
had three-ways with.
1362
01:11:10,215 --> 01:11:12,809
- You've had three three-ways?
- Seven.
1363
01:11:12,851 --> 01:11:16,116
Seven?
The other four were with...
1364
01:11:16,155 --> 01:11:18,180
I should have known.
1365
01:11:18,223 --> 01:11:19,952
Oh, thank God you're here!
1366
01:11:19,992 --> 01:11:23,257
Oh, I see you're already out looking
for a better offer, you motherfucker!
1367
01:11:23,295 --> 01:11:25,820
- Mary, come on.
- Son of a bitch! Asshole!
1368
01:11:25,864 --> 01:11:27,889
Look, Ryan's not scamming.
1369
01:11:27,933 --> 01:11:30,731
And trust me, this is not the kind of
place one goes to for a better offer.
1370
01:11:32,671 --> 01:11:34,798
I turn my back for one second
1371
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:37,502
and you are out philandering
with strippers?
1372
01:11:37,543 --> 01:11:40,774
- I am not a prude, Ryan.
- Yeah, no shit.
1373
01:11:40,813 --> 01:11:43,543
Excuse me, Scott, but this...
1374
01:11:43,582 --> 01:11:46,574
this is beyond
the pale, okay?
1375
01:11:46,618 --> 01:11:48,916
Simply beyond the pale!
1376
01:11:48,954 --> 01:11:51,286
Mary, look, okay?
I don't know how you got here,
1377
01:11:51,323 --> 01:11:54,417
but you have to leave. You have to
show Ryan that you trust him.
1378
01:11:54,460 --> 01:11:56,485
Well, how can I trust him
1379
01:11:56,528 --> 01:11:58,621
- when he's sporting a chubby?
- Okay.
1380
01:11:58,664 --> 01:12:00,461
Mary, come on!
1381
01:12:00,499 --> 01:12:02,091
Come on what?
1382
01:12:02,134 --> 01:12:04,898
You want me to act like it's no big deal
that my man's at half-mast?
1383
01:12:04,937 --> 01:12:07,497
- It is a big deal.
- We're just having some guy time.
1384
01:12:07,539 --> 01:12:09,905
All right?
He'll keep it in his pants.
1385
01:12:09,942 --> 01:12:11,705
Uh-huh.
1386
01:12:11,743 --> 01:12:14,234
- I promise.
- And if it's any consolation,
1387
01:12:14,279 --> 01:12:17,908
as you can see, I am
completely flaccid now.
1388
01:12:17,950 --> 01:12:20,817
We all are, Ryan.
We all are.
1389
01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:32,454
Don't wait up for us, Ryan.
1390
01:12:32,498 --> 01:12:35,592
I was...
I couldn't find the...
1391
01:12:35,634 --> 01:12:37,829
I was just trying to...
1392
01:12:39,671 --> 01:12:43,334
If you guys see
my gym-membership card,
1393
01:12:43,375 --> 01:12:45,775
just...
1394
01:12:45,811 --> 01:12:47,540
give that to me.
1395
01:12:47,579 --> 01:12:49,444
Okay.
1396
01:12:49,481 --> 01:12:51,176
I'm gonna go.
1397
01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:55,553
Okay, have fun.
1398
01:12:55,587 --> 01:12:59,421
# Let's fall in love #
1399
01:13:00,592 --> 01:13:03,117
# Let's fall in love #
1400
01:13:04,596 --> 01:13:07,531
# Everything I see around #
1401
01:13:07,566 --> 01:13:09,466
# Reminds me of... #
1402
01:13:09,501 --> 01:13:11,696
My God, this place is
like an advertisement
1403
01:13:11,737 --> 01:13:13,295
for choosing a partner
at a young age.
1404
01:13:13,338 --> 01:13:15,067
I am getting hepatitis
just being in here.
1405
01:13:15,107 --> 01:13:17,200
That's the spirit.
1406
01:13:17,242 --> 01:13:21,576
Look, I want you to have a conversation
with one of these fine gentlemen.
1407
01:13:21,613 --> 01:13:23,979
- Why?
- Because
1408
01:13:24,016 --> 01:13:26,576
I want to see how you talk
to a man that isn't Ryan.
1409
01:13:26,618 --> 01:13:29,678
Scott, this is silly.
Can we just go home? I can't...
1410
01:13:29,721 --> 01:13:32,383
Hey, there, pretty lady.
1411
01:13:32,424 --> 01:13:34,153
Can I buy you a drink?
1412
01:13:34,193 --> 01:13:36,058
Scott?
1413
01:13:41,567 --> 01:13:44,161
Could you just give us
a moment, please?
1414
01:13:44,203 --> 01:13:45,192
Sure.
1415
01:13:45,237 --> 01:13:48,400
You have to get rid of him!
He is trying to get in my pants.
1416
01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:50,067
So? He's not going to.
1417
01:13:50,108 --> 01:13:51,871
It's not like you're tempted to
sleep with him or anything.
1418
01:13:51,910 --> 01:13:54,105
I'm tempted to
fuck his brains out.
1419
01:13:55,614 --> 01:13:57,275
I'd fuck him;
I'd fuck that guy;
1420
01:13:57,316 --> 01:13:59,045
I'd fuck the guy air-guitaring
back there.
1421
01:13:59,084 --> 01:14:00,984
I'd fuck everybody I could
see right now
1422
01:14:01,019 --> 01:14:03,852
because I just want the chance
to be with somebody else!
1423
01:14:03,889 --> 01:14:06,119
This is the reason I cannot be
trusted without Ryan around me
1424
01:14:06,158 --> 01:14:07,716
at all times.
1425
01:14:07,759 --> 01:14:11,286
Just once I want to be with another guy
without Ryan in the room.
1426
01:14:11,330 --> 01:14:14,265
Can you understand that?
I am so sick of fucking the same person
1427
01:14:14,299 --> 01:14:16,767
over and over and over
and over again.
1428
01:14:18,403 --> 01:14:20,428
Wow.
1429
01:14:20,472 --> 01:14:22,440
That was frank.
1430
01:14:24,042 --> 01:14:26,476
She's gonna take a rain check
on the whole talking thing.
1431
01:14:26,511 --> 01:14:28,308
Thanks, though.
1432
01:14:32,384 --> 01:14:34,443
Watch it. I...
1433
01:14:38,423 --> 01:14:41,085
- I'm gonna need another.
- Yeah.
1434
01:14:41,126 --> 01:14:43,117
Excuse me?
1435
01:14:43,161 --> 01:14:45,561
All I'm saying is that...
1436
01:14:45,597 --> 01:14:47,565
both of you clearly
have some issues
1437
01:14:47,599 --> 01:14:49,226
that you're not addressing
with each other.
1438
01:14:49,268 --> 01:14:51,964
But what happens if we address them
and then we break up?
1439
01:14:52,004 --> 01:14:55,269
Look, relationships take work...
real work.
1440
01:14:56,808 --> 01:14:59,106
You can't just pretend
that everything's okay
1441
01:14:59,144 --> 01:15:01,135
so you don't have to
deal with the hard stuff.
1442
01:15:01,179 --> 01:15:03,647
You have to be brutally
honest with each other.
1443
01:15:03,682 --> 01:15:05,309
Doesn't that hurt?
1444
01:15:05,350 --> 01:15:07,079
It can.
1445
01:15:07,119 --> 01:15:09,747
Love hurts,
but it's worth it.
1446
01:15:09,788 --> 01:15:12,154
And that's why I'm chasing
after a girl
1447
01:15:12,190 --> 01:15:14,522
who probably won't
even take me back.
1448
01:15:14,559 --> 01:15:17,960
Because if there's even the slightest
chance that she will,
1449
01:15:17,996 --> 01:15:19,759
I have to risk it.
1450
01:15:19,798 --> 01:15:21,823
We can't play it safe
all the time.
1451
01:15:21,867 --> 01:15:25,064
That's what it is with Ryan and me,
isn't it?
1452
01:15:25,103 --> 01:15:27,765
We play it too safe.
We're so afraid of this thing failing,
1453
01:15:27,806 --> 01:15:29,330
that we don't deal with it.
1454
01:15:29,374 --> 01:15:32,832
- Anuptaphobia.
- Fear of being alone.
1455
01:15:32,878 --> 01:15:35,244
Why'd you do this?
1456
01:15:36,415 --> 01:15:39,748
- Do what?
- Try to help us,
1457
01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:41,616
our relationship.
1458
01:15:41,653 --> 01:15:44,554
Well, at first it was
because I figured
1459
01:15:44,589 --> 01:15:46,989
the only way I was going to get
you two lunatics out of my life
1460
01:15:47,025 --> 01:15:49,459
was if you got
your shit together, but...
1461
01:15:49,494 --> 01:15:52,657
actually I like you guys a lot,
1462
01:15:52,698 --> 01:15:54,996
and I want you
to be happy.
1463
01:15:56,001 --> 01:15:58,333
You're a good friend, Scott.
1464
01:16:01,039 --> 01:16:04,634
- Um, about the m�nage thing...
- Mm-hmm?
1465
01:16:04,676 --> 01:16:07,076
I don't know if you two
ever talked about,
1466
01:16:07,112 --> 01:16:09,012
you know, me in that way...
1467
01:16:09,047 --> 01:16:12,414
Oh, no! Never.
1468
01:16:12,451 --> 01:16:14,942
Okay, good, because
that would have been
1469
01:16:14,986 --> 01:16:17,352
- a little weird.
- Yeah.
1470
01:16:19,725 --> 01:16:22,216
Any particular reason why not?
1471
01:16:38,343 --> 01:16:41,312
Well, this is it.
1472
01:16:41,346 --> 01:16:43,280
This is where Leslie is.
1473
01:16:43,315 --> 01:16:45,249
Are you ready?
1474
01:16:45,283 --> 01:16:48,411
- Not in the least.
- Well, good luck.
1475
01:17:06,338 --> 01:17:07,896
Okay, dude,
1476
01:17:07,939 --> 01:17:10,305
no more skateboarding
with your costume on.
1477
01:17:10,342 --> 01:17:13,175
If I have to fix your butt again,
I'm gonna kick it.
1478
01:17:13,211 --> 01:17:14,508
Capisce?
1479
01:17:16,782 --> 01:17:19,046
Okay, now get out of here.
Go.
1480
01:17:26,024 --> 01:17:27,924
Hi.
1481
01:17:29,628 --> 01:17:31,289
Hi.
1482
01:17:31,329 --> 01:17:32,921
What are you doing here?
1483
01:17:32,964 --> 01:17:35,194
I wanted to clear some things up.
1484
01:17:35,233 --> 01:17:36,632
Can we talk?
1485
01:17:36,668 --> 01:17:39,034
Uh, okay.
1486
01:17:39,070 --> 01:17:40,401
Okay.
1487
01:17:40,439 --> 01:17:43,101
But just not here. Just...
1488
01:17:49,648 --> 01:17:51,707
I've never been stalked before,
1489
01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:54,310
so if you can give me, like,
an idea of how long this might take,
1490
01:17:54,352 --> 01:17:56,013
'cause I only have
40 minutes for lunch.
1491
01:17:56,054 --> 01:17:59,148
I'm not stalking you.
At least not in the creepy way.
1492
01:17:59,191 --> 01:18:01,421
There you are! Hi!
1493
01:18:01,460 --> 01:18:04,361
There's nothing creepy
about this at all.
1494
01:18:04,396 --> 01:18:06,261
- Hi.
- Hi, Leslie.
1495
01:18:06,298 --> 01:18:09,199
Um, Mary and I just...
1496
01:18:09,234 --> 01:18:11,464
wanted to make it clear
1497
01:18:11,503 --> 01:18:14,802
that we did do everything
Scott said we did.
1498
01:18:14,840 --> 01:18:18,332
We thought we could control
everything for him;
1499
01:18:18,376 --> 01:18:20,606
take away the risk
of getting hurt.
1500
01:18:20,645 --> 01:18:23,011
Thank you guys.
I've got it from here.
1501
01:18:23,048 --> 01:18:26,711
Just like we've been trying to do in
our own relationship for years.
1502
01:18:26,751 --> 01:18:28,742
- But you can't do that.
- Nah.
1503
01:18:28,787 --> 01:18:30,584
Nobody can.
1504
01:18:30,622 --> 01:18:33,420
A wise man once said to me,
1505
01:18:33,458 --> 01:18:37,360
"Love is all about
taking chances, even if it hurts."
1506
01:18:37,395 --> 01:18:39,727
- So...
- Which is why
1507
01:18:39,764 --> 01:18:43,131
Mary and I...
Have decided...
1508
01:18:43,168 --> 01:18:44,897
To split up.
1509
01:18:44,936 --> 01:18:47,063
- Just for a while.
- It's just a trial thing
1510
01:18:47,105 --> 01:18:49,733
to see if we're really meant
to be together.
1511
01:18:49,774 --> 01:18:52,709
So if we can take a chance...
1512
01:18:52,744 --> 01:18:54,837
Maybe you guys
can too.
1513
01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:57,872
It was really great
meeting you, Leslie,
1514
01:18:57,916 --> 01:19:00,680
and we are sorry
about all of this.
1515
01:19:00,719 --> 01:19:05,053
But I have a hunch you two
are going to be just fine.
1516
01:19:06,558 --> 01:19:08,355
Hasta lasagna.
1517
01:19:12,397 --> 01:19:16,060
So you're not a total psycho,
1518
01:19:16,101 --> 01:19:17,932
but your friends are?
1519
01:19:17,969 --> 01:19:19,869
Yeah, something like that.
1520
01:19:23,508 --> 01:19:25,203
Can I buy you lunch?
1521
01:19:26,511 --> 01:19:29,309
I am pretty hungry...
1522
01:19:29,347 --> 01:19:31,338
and broke.
1523
01:19:32,551 --> 01:19:34,849
So yeah, okay.
1524
01:19:34,886 --> 01:19:38,253
But this does not mean
that I am moving in with you.
1525
01:19:38,290 --> 01:19:40,781
- Right.
- And sex, is like, way down the road
1526
01:19:40,825 --> 01:19:42,383
and we're not even
kissing anytime soon,
1527
01:19:42,427 --> 01:19:44,588
and we have to completely start over
from, like, the very very very
1528
01:19:44,629 --> 01:19:47,462
very very very beginning,
and there's no guarantees.
1529
01:19:47,499 --> 01:19:50,627
That's exactly what
I wanted to hear.
1530
01:19:50,669 --> 01:19:52,068
Okay.
1531
01:19:52,103 --> 01:19:54,037
Okay.
1532
01:19:54,072 --> 01:19:57,132
- I'm glad we talked.
- Yeah, me too.
1533
01:20:07,652 --> 01:20:08,744
Hey!
1534
01:20:14,793 --> 01:20:17,762
And the Oscar goes to...
1535
01:20:17,796 --> 01:20:20,026
Oh, you were fantastic.
1536
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,226
No, you were fantastic
1537
01:20:22,267 --> 01:20:24,428
and they totally bought it.
1538
01:20:24,469 --> 01:20:28,599
Well, love is all about
taking chances,
1539
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:30,665
even if it hurts.
1540
01:20:30,709 --> 01:20:33,576
Give me a fucking break!
1541
01:20:33,612 --> 01:20:36,308
"Oh, we're gonna break up. We're just
gonna give it a trial break-up.
1542
01:20:36,348 --> 01:20:37,679
A little trial break-up thing..."
1543
01:20:37,716 --> 01:20:40,276
"Just to see if we really are meant
to be together, you know."
1544
01:20:42,287 --> 01:20:44,653
Oh my God.
Ha ha ha!
1545
01:20:44,689 --> 01:20:46,714
- Oh.
- He'll be back.
1546
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:56,928
# Well, I live in Los Angeles #
1547
01:20:56,968 --> 01:21:01,371
# She said, "You drive in
this horrible traffic?" #
1548
01:21:01,406 --> 01:21:05,308
# Man, you can't hear
above the racket #
1549
01:21:05,343 --> 01:21:07,641
# From downtown #
1550
01:21:09,214 --> 01:21:11,444
# From downtown #
1551
01:21:13,418 --> 01:21:16,319
- # From downtown #
- # Down down down #
1552
01:21:17,489 --> 01:21:20,822
# Couple nights
sleepless later #
1553
01:21:20,859 --> 01:21:24,795
# She says "See the fire burn
in the city tonight #
1554
01:21:24,829 --> 01:21:28,492
# Under lines of
factory lights" #
1555
01:21:30,235 --> 01:21:32,396
# From downtown #
1556
01:21:34,272 --> 01:21:36,536
# From downtown #
1557
01:21:38,443 --> 01:21:41,879
- # From downtown #
- # Down down down #
1558
01:21:41,913 --> 01:21:44,905
# I got too much of the city #
1559
01:21:44,949 --> 01:21:48,715
# Of my Los Angeles #
1560
01:21:54,392 --> 01:21:57,555
# Well, I live in Los Angeles #
1561
01:21:57,595 --> 01:22:00,928
# Yeah, well, I live
in Los Angeles #
1562
01:22:00,965 --> 01:22:05,334
# You know that
I live in Los Angeles #
1563
01:22:05,370 --> 01:22:08,806
# Well, I live in Los Angeles #
1564
01:22:10,041 --> 01:22:13,135
# Well, I live in Los Angeles #
1565
01:22:13,178 --> 01:22:15,976
# Yeah, well,
I live in Los Angeles #
1566
01:22:16,014 --> 01:22:17,345
# Downtown #
1567
01:22:17,382 --> 01:22:19,850
# You know that
I live in Los Angeles #
1568
01:22:19,884 --> 01:22:21,215
# Downtown #
1569
01:22:21,252 --> 01:22:24,187
# Well, I live in Los Angeles #
1570
01:22:32,430 --> 01:22:35,524
- # From downtown #
- # Los Angeles #
1571
01:22:35,567 --> 01:22:36,727
# Downtown #
1572
01:22:36,768 --> 01:22:38,963
- # From downtown #
- # I live in Los Angeles #
1573
01:22:39,003 --> 01:22:40,436
# Downtown #
1574
01:22:40,472 --> 01:22:43,464
- # From downtown #
- # I live in Los Angeles #
1575
01:22:44,509 --> 01:22:47,444
# Well, I live in Los Angeles #
1576
01:22:48,546 --> 01:22:50,309
# From downtown #
1577
01:22:52,150 --> 01:22:54,118
# From downtown #
1578
01:22:56,254 --> 01:22:57,983
# From downtown #
1579
01:22:59,958 --> 01:23:02,518
# I've got too much
of the city #
1580
01:23:02,560 --> 01:23:07,554
- # Of my Los Angeles #
- # Downtown #
1581
01:23:10,101 --> 01:23:13,264
# Yeah, I live in Los Angeles #
1582
01:23:13,304 --> 01:23:16,762
# Yeah, well,
I live in Los Angeles #
1583
01:23:17,876 --> 01:23:21,368
# You know that
I live in Los Angeles #
1584
01:23:21,412 --> 01:23:24,404
# Yeah, well,
I live in Los Angeles #
1585
01:23:24,449 --> 01:23:27,577
# Les. #
116264
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