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1
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They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,511
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,397
They're altogether ooky
4
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The Addams family
5
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The house is a museum
6
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When people come to see 'em
7
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They really are a scream
8
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The Addams family
9
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MAN: Neat.
10
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Sweet.
11
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:39,589
Petite.
12
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,477
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,391
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,277
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,033
The Addams family
16
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,797
-GOM EZ: Caught in the act.
-Gomez, darling, you startled me.
17
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,752
What a thing for a husband to see.
18
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,956
On the day when an old suitor
is coming to visit,
19
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,918
he finds his wife striving to
make herself even more beautiful.
20
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,551
Darling, Lionel Barker was not
an old suitor. He's just a childhood friend.
21
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,993
Yet when you got his Ietter,
your eyes Iit up Iike candles in a cave.
22
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,550
You need be jealous of no one.
23
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,394
I've been yours since that first day
you carved my initials in your Ieg.
24
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:41,311
And I have been yours since the day I first
saw you riding sidesaddle on a buffalo.
25
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,114
querido.
26
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,154
querida.
27
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:50,191
Then you don't mind that I plan to ask
Lionel to be our houseguest?
28
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,078
Not at all. I want him to see
what a Iovely home we have.
29
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,991
Would you Iike to see
what I've done with the guest room?
30
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,799
Delighted.
Though it may give me a twinge.
31
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,198
-Charming, absolutely charming.
-I knew you'd be pleased.
32
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,352
How did you ever think
of all these homey Iittle touches?
33
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:14,793
Just a knack.
34
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,951
Will you Iook at that?
35
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:31,152
-This mattress, it's harder than ours.
-No mattress, silly.
36
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,992
-Natural wood. Knotty pine.
-Superb.
37
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,956
Do you really think Lionel will Iike it?
38
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,873
If he's a man of taste, and I'm sure he is.
39
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:53,152
Look, Lionel, you think it's worth it?
Going into that creep joint, I mean.
40
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,115
As I remember this Morticia dame,
she's even spookier than this house.
41
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,239
I know they got dough, Iots of it,
and we need some now.
42
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,952
What're you gonna give them?
That uranium stock spiel?
43
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,357
I have a feeling they're more
the phony oil stock type.
44
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,991
Now, wait here
and keep your fingers crossed, Charlie.
45
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,438
-Yes?
-I...
46
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,118
Mrs. Addams is expecting me.
I'm Lionel Barker.
47
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,119
Follow me.
48
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,235
-You're the butler?
-Lurch, sir.
49
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,349
Lurch.
50
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:01,914
Pardon me.
51
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:03,951
-Lionel?
-Morticia!
52
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,234
-Lionel, how good to see you.
-You haven't changed a bit.
53
00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:12,313
-Except that she's married now.
-This is my husband, Gomez Addams.
54
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,078
-Lionel Barker.
-You certainly married
55
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:15,991
a wonderful girl, Mr. Addams.
56
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,753
Yes, a man so seldom
gets the wife he deserves.
57
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,479
Yeah, yeah.
It's quite a place you have here.
58
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,552
As Iong as you're in town, it's your home.
59
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,428
-Oh, no, really, I couldn't.
-We insist. We'll send for your bags.
60
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,592
They're right outside.
I happened to bring them with me.
61
00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:32,955
How fortunate. Darling.
62
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,354
You rang?
63
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:46,152
Lurch, Mr. Barker's bags are outside.
PIease take them to the guest room.
64
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,351
Perhaps our Mr. Barker would Iike to
join us in a cup of tea.
65
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,873
That would be marvelous.
66
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,714
And we can chat about those glorious,
gloomy days of our youth.
67
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,513
-Those were the fun days.
-Yes.
68
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,800
Do you remember the first time we met?
69
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,917
I was in the garden,
playing with Hubert and Henery.
70
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,468
And you strolled by, and I asked you in.
71
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,994
And I said I'd come in if you got rid
of Hubert and Henery.
72
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:20,877
MORTICIA: I never understood why.
73
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,349
-They were such adorable vultures.
-Just not my type, I guess.
74
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,829
Darling, I'm afraid we're
Ieaving you out of the conversation.
75
00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:32,912
You know how it is
when old friends get together.
76
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,269
Excuse me, I have an urgent call to make.
77
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,555
Must you, dear? We'll miss you.
78
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,351
Mr. Barker will be able to amuse you
while I'm gone.
79
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,519
-Hope I didn't upset him.
-Gomez?
80
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,631
Dear Gomez.
There's not a jealous bone in his body.
81
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,752
"You know how it is when
old friends get together."
82
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,069
Wonderful, wonderful. Says we're
gonna have a big storm tomorrow.
83
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,475
Uncle Fester, I'm baring my soul to you,
and you just stand there
84
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,154
casually reading your newspaper,
and Iast year's.
85
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,035
I've been trying to catch up on my reading.
86
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,032
This is the first quiet moment
I've spent in this thing in days.
87
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,792
Mama practically Iives in it.
88
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,996
You know something?
She's getting selfish in her old age.
89
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,753
Fester, what am I going to do
about Lionel?
90
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,393
Who's Lionel?
91
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,673
Lionel?
92
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,398
I really had a case on you in those days.
Even wrote a poem about you.
93
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,552
Yes, a very romantic one,
if I remember correctly.
94
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,151
I've kept it with all my other treasures,
down in the basement.
95
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,516
-Pretty silly stuff, really.
-I don't think so at all.
96
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,194
How did it go again?
97
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,033
LIONEL: "Morticia,
you are the only one for me.
98
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,077
"I know I shall always want you
for my very own."
99
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,513
Can it be true, Uncle Fester? Can she
actually be smitten with this Lionel?
100
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,556
-Who's Lionel?
-Fester.
101
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,669
Oh, that Lionel. Must be.
Just going off riding with him.
102
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,671
I engineered that so we could talk.
103
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,151
Well, still, forgetting to feed her plants.
Poor things, they're nearly starved.
104
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,435
They won't even Iet me feed them.
105
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,113
A hideous how do you do.
106
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,589
-Why don't you throw him out?
-I couldn't.
107
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,399
She would have thought
that I was jealous.
108
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,398
-Are you?
-Of course.
109
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:30,508
It's gnawing at my insides,
Iike a tiger gnawing at an antelope.
110
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,677
I wish it would stop.
I'm beginning to enjoy it.
111
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,399
Well, you gotta get rid of him somehow.
112
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,199
I have a plan.
113
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,794
We'll make it so uncomfortable for him
that he'll want to Ieave.
114
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,189
-I'll need your help.
-You can count on me.
115
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,272
-First, we rearrange his room.
-Brilliant!
116
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,000
Well, no use Ietting this go to waste.
117
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,669
Why doesn't she cook this for us?
118
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,231
It's horrible, Gomez. Just horrible.
119
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,074
-Yes, we've done a magnificent job.
-It's more than any man could stand.
120
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,713
Lionel is going to run screaming
into the night. Feel this mattress.
121
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,355
Eugh.
122
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,714
Listen to this.
123
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,635
Just Iisten to that awful bird.
124
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,916
I can't stand it. Let's get out of here.
125
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,959
I can't wait till tomorrow morning
at breakfast, just Morticia and me.
126
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,479
No Lionel.
127
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:34,473
That's the best breakfast I've had in days.
128
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,950
Gomez, darling,
you haven't touched yours.
129
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,749
-I've Iost my appetite.
-I must say, you folks are wonderful hosts.
130
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,913
That room.
That beautiful, soft, downy bed.
131
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:49,273
And that gorgeous canary singing me
to sleep. And those carnations.
132
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,759
In your room?
133
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,796
-You really Iiked them?
-Loved them.
134
00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,070
Well, I must call my business associate.
Excuse me.
135
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:04,392
By the way, I dabble in stocks
136
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,472
and I might be able to put you
onto something good.
137
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,160
We'll discuss it a Iittle Iater, okay?
138
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:16,676
Gomez, I don't see how you could have
done such a terrible thing to our guest.
139
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,356
-Yes, I do. You're jealous.
-Me?
140
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,909
Jealous?
141
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,552
That's Iaughable.
142
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,078
No, no, Charlie. I'm not stalling.
I gotta give the guy the buildup.
143
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,188
Just sit tight
and pretty soon we'll split a bundle.
144
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,679
Yeah, bye-bye.
145
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,156
You know, when I'm through here, Gomez,
you ought to stretch out for a while.
146
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,435
-Wonderful picker-upper.
-I don't have time.
147
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,876
We must concoct another scheme
to break up this romance.
148
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,752
I have it. A diversionary tactic.
Another woman.
149
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,993
Oh, that's good. You mean to come
between him and Morticia, huh?
150
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:05,153
Right. A seductive creature
with an irresistible allure.
151
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,676
Now, where can we find one?
152
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,395
How about Grandmama?
You know, the merry widow.
153
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,671
No, Grandmama prefers taller men.
But she is the type we want.
154
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,674
Maybe we could get
my old sweetheart, Queenie.
155
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:30,119
No, she'd never Ieave the circus.
Those bearded Iadies make a fortune.
156
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,356
If only he hadn't seen Lurch.
157
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,359
You know, he'd be ideal
in a wig and a dress.
158
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,238
If only Lurch were a maid
instead of a butler.
159
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,829
That's it. A maid.
160
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,034
I'll hire a maid
from an employment agency.
161
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,759
I'll insist on one
who is interested in getting married.
162
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:49,989
Good.
163
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,597
Right this way, Miss... What is your name?
164
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:54,079
Mildred, sir.
165
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:07,558
-Gee, this place is sort of spooky.
-Thank you.
166
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,197
-Now, about your duties...
-Oh, no. I'm not staying.
167
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,718
-I think I can change your mind, miss.
-You don't have that much money.
168
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,791
But I do have a houseguest.
169
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,429
A dashing young bachelor
who would find you most attractive.
170
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,793
A man, sir?
171
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,800
The kind who needs a wife.
In fact, he is seeking one desperately,
172
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,552
and it could be you.
173
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:33,120
Well, this isn't such a bad place after all.
174
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,150
Your room is right in there.
175
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,797
Well, Uncle Fester, it Iooks Iike
we have a winner.
176
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,199
A knockout.
177
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,474
Those tiny eyes
shining through her glasses.
178
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,154
And did you notice the way
her knees knock together?
179
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,879
Uncle Fester, at your age.
180
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,189
I've still got an eye for beauty.
181
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,034
By tomorrow, Lionel will be her slave.
182
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,959
-Is there anything I could bring you, sir?
-No, no.
183
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:14,591
-Tea or coffee? Milk? Vegetable juice?
-No, no, no and no.
184
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,079
What's the matter with you, anyway?
185
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,116
You followed me
all over the place Iast night.
186
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,397
When I turned in, I Iooked under the bed
to make sure you weren't there.
187
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,552
-Now there you go again.
-She's not making much progress.
188
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,789
Too shy.
189
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,391
I'll Iight it for you, sir.
190
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,713
That does it.
191
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,157
This girl needs instruction
in the art of Iove from an expert.
192
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,355
You?
193
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,712
In my younger days,
I had women eating out of my hand.
194
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,552
A bit messy, wasn't it?
195
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,715
You're simply too timid.
You've got to move in on him.
196
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,597
-You mean chase him?
-I mean catch him.
197
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,309
Grab him in your arms, Iike this.
And pour out your heart.
198
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,274
No Ionger can I hide my feelings, my Iove.
Give me your Iips.
199
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,076
There, have you got it now?
200
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:17,910
Where is Lionel? Which way did he go?
Never mind. I'll find him.
201
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,039
Thank you, Thing.
202
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,472
I'm sorry to make
a spectacle of myself, Thing.
203
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,233
But my world has
come down around my ears.
204
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,797
There's another woman.
205
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,431
No, it's true, there is.
206
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,276
I know you can be blase about it.
You've never been married.
207
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,239
Or have you?
208
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,719
I thought not.
209
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,911
Thing, what am I gonna do?
210
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,277
No, no. No violence.
211
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,954
Not even hair-pulling.
212
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,758
Nor eye-scratching.
213
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,798
Thank you, anyway, Thing.
214
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,155
Thing?
215
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:24,593
Wish me Iuck.
216
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,518
Thank you, Thing.
217
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,752
You're a true friend.
218
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,669
I didn't know you were out here, Morticia.
219
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:41,151
Uncle Fester, I know why Gomez brought
that woman into this house.
220
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:44,994
Oh, you do, huh?
Well, so do I, and I think it's a fine idea.
221
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,152
A fine idea? No, no. CIeopatra, no.
222
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,759
I will not condone violence. Down, girl.
223
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,309
I think I'll go upstairs to my room
and Iie down for a while.
224
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,710
I'm going up the back stairs.
225
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,233
You see?
Everything worked out fine, smarty.
226
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:16,751
You hit me in the nose.
227
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,190
Well, well, well. Checking your stocks,
I see. How're they going?
228
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,713
Up, naturally.
229
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,875
You know, you folks have been
wonderful to me, Gomez.
230
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,318
In fact, I'm very fond of the whole family.
231
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:37,831
-Especially Morticia, hmm?
-I've always had a warm spot for her.
232
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,432
What I started to say was,
I'm going to do you a big favor.
233
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,832
You see, a pal of mine is the president
of the South Tasmanian Oil Corporation...
234
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,150
If your pal put your money
into South Tasmanian Oil,
235
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,629
you ought to have him boiled in it.
236
00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,757
The market is bullish today, Lionel.
I mean, Mr. Barker.
237
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,508
Bullish?
238
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,909
You mean, you really dig this jazz?
239
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,959
Well, I've always
put my money into stocks.
240
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,114
Let's not talk about stocks, Mildred.
241
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,870
Let's talk about you.
242
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,556
-Me?
-Come.
243
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:27,036
Let me gaze into your big,
beautiful, blue chip... Eyes.
244
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,518
Is something wrong?
245
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,348
Tell me.
246
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,319
I think you know
what's darkened our Iives.
247
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,512
Yes, I fear I do.
248
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,074
The hands that should caress
my Ioving feet now caress the dragon.
249
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,038
But who are you caressing in your mind?
Not me.
250
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:49,910
Gomez, please Ieave me.
I can't talk now. I must think.
251
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:57,876
Very well. If that's what you want, I'll go.
I, too, must think.
252
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,274
There is no Ionger any doubt about it.
She's in Iove with Lionel.
253
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,155
-Well, what are you going to do?
-The only decent thing I can do.
254
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,199
Leave this Iife,
and Iet Morticia marry the man she Ioves.
255
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,272
-You mean you're going to kill yourself?
-Of course not.
256
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,428
Suicide is the coward's way out.
I'm going to Iet you kill me.
257
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,149
Me? You're my favorite nephew, Gomez.
258
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,114
You've been nice to me. I Iike you.
259
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,913
AII I ask is one small favor. Shoot me.
260
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,279
Well, if I refuse, I'd be an ingrate.
261
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,236
-AII right, stand over by the wall.
-Thank you, Uncle Fester.
262
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,992
You're a true friend.
263
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:54,835
Ready.
264
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,151
Aim. Fire.
265
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,195
I would Iike to be shot, Uncle Fester,
not drowned.
266
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,151
I'm sorry, this must be
one of the children's guns.
267
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,832
-But I'll do better next time.
-You must. It's the only bullet we have.
268
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,998
Now, close your eyes.
269
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,271
Lurch, I hope you're a better hangman
than Uncle Fester was a marksman.
270
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,631
It's my rope, isn't it, Gomez?
I furnished the rope.
271
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,717
That's a bit scratchy.
272
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,235
Better, sir?
273
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,153
That's fine. Thank you, Lurch.
Very comfortable.
274
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,869
Would you throw the other end of the rope
up over the rafter?
275
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,070
No, no, wait a minute. It's my rope. I can...
276
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,913
AII I have to do is just
throw it up over this rafter Iike this.
277
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,629
What's the matter with that thing?
278
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:44,359
Uncle Fester, do you recall
where you got that rope years ago?
279
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,149
Sure, don't you remember?
I got it from an old friend of mine,
280
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,470
Raj Maja, the Indian fakir.
281
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,435
Yeah, he used to throw it up in the air,
then he'd climb...
282
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,191
Still works, doesn't it?
283
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,151
It's no use, Lurch.
Apparently, I am doomed to Iive.
284
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,073
Sorry, sir.
285
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,748
You rang?
286
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,992
Gad, she's Iovely.
How could I Iive without her?
287
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,479
Yet I must.
288
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,358
-Morticia, I must speak to you.
-And I to you.
289
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,471
Gomez, we've had
a Iong and happy marriage.
290
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:51,119
Yes, we have, indeed.
Our Iife together has been filled with joy.
291
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:52,759
Until now.
292
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,195
I've heard of other marriages,
where someone new has come along...
293
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,032
And Iove grew cold.
294
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,638
And husband and wife have
come to the parting of the ways.
295
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,599
We have come to the parting of the ways,
Gomez. Our hour has struck.
296
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,510
We've gotta do something, Lurch.
297
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,956
Soothing music?
298
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,998
To the harpsichord.
299
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,391
-What will be, will be. I have no regrets.
-Nor do I.
300
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:38,153
-AII I want is your happiness.
-My only wish is to make you happy.
301
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:46,189
Now that you're in Iove
with someone else, I'll step aside.
302
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,270
Though my heart is breaking,
I'll freely give you up,
303
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,669
-so you can go away with Mildred.
-So you can go away with Lionel.
304
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:55,715
-Mildred?
-Lionel?
305
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,358
Somebody call us?
306
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,719
I don't want Mildred.
307
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,837
-I thought you were in Iove...
-With Lionel? Me?
308
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,275
-querido.
-querida.
309
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,592
We just dropped in to give you
the good news.
310
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,796
We're off on our honeymoon.
311
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,871
-Honeymoon?
-You're married?
312
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,269
About an hour ago. At City Hall.
313
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,556
-Congratulations.
-That's wonderful.
314
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,312
Well, Iet's go, baby.
315
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,949
-Gomez, I'm so happy for them.
-I'm even happier for us.
316
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,032
If I wasn't such a rotten shot,
you wouldn't be here, would you?
317
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:29,394
What's this?
318
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,153
I nearly did an
impulsive thing, my dear.
319
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,073
But my guardian spirit
was Iooking after me.
320
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:40,955
-Somebody down there Iikes me.
-Somebody up here Iikes you, too,
321
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,909
bubele.
322
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,715
There.
323
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,790
"When the blazing sun has turned to mud
324
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,632
"and the moon Iies dead in a pool of blood,
325
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,631
"and the tom-tom beat of eternity starts,
326
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,472
"whom will I Iove in my heart of hearts?
327
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,834
"Morticia."
328
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,191
Gomez, that's beautiful.
329
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,310
And it's such a perfect night for poetry.
330
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,958
I just wanted to show you that
331
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,156
Lionel's not the only one
who can write poetry for you.
332
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,275
Oh, Lionel.
333
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,510
He couldn't hold a candle to you.
334
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,551
Perhaps we should Iet him
try it sometime.
335
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,915
Might be a fascinating experience.
336
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,873
-No, he'll be too busy for that.
-Oh?
337
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,513
Working night and day, poor chap.
338
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,830
Those stocks his wife owns,
down to nothing.
339
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,478
Really?
340
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,348
Well, things Iike that don't matter,
not when you marry for Iove.
27513
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