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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,891 ♪ Snowflakes fall on Marylebone ♪ 2 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:19,145 ♪ Two lovers on the cobblestones ♪ 3 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:22,398 ♪ With scarves wrapped over collar bones ♪ 4 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,151 ♪ And you wrapped around me ♪ 5 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:29,071 ♪ Angels in the window panes ♪ 6 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:32,283 ♪ And two pints on a single tray ♪ 7 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:35,786 ♪ The Ten Bells full of fun awaits ♪ 8 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,789 ♪ Just for Christmas Eve ♪ 9 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:40,499 - ♪ Till it's time ♪ - ♪ It's time ♪ 10 00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,084 - ♪ For goodbye ♪ - ♪ Goodbye ♪ 11 00:00:42,168 --> 00:00:45,421 -♪ And we both run off into the night ♪ -♪ The night ♪ 12 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,465 ♪ And I hope ♪ 13 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:51,427 ♪ That you know ♪ 14 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,389 ♪ I wanna the deck the halls ♪ 15 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:58,350 ♪ Hang mistletoe around ya ♪ 16 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:01,562 ♪ So when I sing 'Last Christmas' ♪ 17 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:04,899 ♪ I hope it's my last without ya ♪ 18 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:08,235 ♪ So you should listen up ♪ 19 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,739 ♪ 'Cause this wish is about ya ♪ 20 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,533 ♪ Can we have forever ♪ 21 00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:20,331 ♪ Or at least can we be together, Babe, for Christmas? ♪ 22 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:25,544 ♪ Can we be together, Babe, for Christmas? ♪ 23 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,590 It's fine. We've got plenty of time. 24 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,555 We'd better go. We're gonna miss our trains! 25 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,768 I can't go any faster! 26 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,979 We made it! 27 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:47,066 No thanks to you. 28 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,401 I didn't know it took that long to cook a turkey. 29 00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,821 We're going with 'it was cooked', are we? 30 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,614 That was my first ever Christmas dinner! 31 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,408 It was great. I didn't know you could cook. 32 00:01:56,491 --> 00:02:00,037 There's lots of things you don't know about me, James Hughes. 33 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,122 Stay there. Stay there! 34 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,334 Okay, just one. 35 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,924 That camera! You're such an old man! 36 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,426 Well, this old man... 37 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:16,947 - got you something. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 38 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,098 - We said no presents. - I know, I know! 39 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,766 - No presents, remember? - But... 40 00:02:20,850 --> 00:02:26,480 Well, just open it when... you're really missing me. 41 00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:29,108 I'll be really missing you, will I? 42 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:33,988 I really wish I could come with you. 43 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,281 Why don't you? 44 00:02:36,866 --> 00:02:39,201 - What? - Come with me. 45 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,579 We could have Christmas in the countryside together. 46 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:44,456 I mean... my mum would kill me. 47 00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:47,376 Macclesfield calling at Luton... 48 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,503 That's me. 49 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,338 Bloody Macclesfield. 50 00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:52,840 - Bloody 'Kimble'. - Kemble! 51 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,383 Whatever! 52 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:04,768 I have been wanting to say that these past couple of months have been... 53 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:09,982 Well, you're like... the coolest person I've ever met, 54 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:12,085 and I don't even just mean on the course. Like, ever and... 55 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,695 - You are out of time, James Hughes. - Well, no... 56 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,572 I just... I wanna say... 57 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,073 I... I love... 58 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:19,283 Bye! 59 00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:21,160 Bye! 60 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,247 The 17:32 service to Kemble. 61 00:03:25,331 --> 00:03:27,333 Calling at Reading... 62 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:29,835 Okay! 63 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,471 - Come on, darling. - Wait! 64 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:42,723 Have you got your ticket? 65 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:48,187 You're going to spend Christmas together! 66 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,606 That's lovely! 67 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,946 Your ticket? 68 00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:58,989 Sorry, I... 69 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:05,704 Is this free? 70 00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:07,915 - Yes, love. - Cheers. 71 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,608 Someone who knows you well, eh? 72 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,082 I told you! 73 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:53,085 Stop talking to random people. 74 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:58,966 Wait! 75 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,936 This stops at Kimble, right? 76 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:12,104 Kemble. 77 00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,647 Even better! 78 00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,404 Does this stop at Macclesfield? 79 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,533 It does, love. 80 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,417 Excellent! 81 00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:53,395 - ♪ Christmas! - ♪ -♪ The snow's coming down ♪ 82 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:57,191 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ I'm watching it fall ♪ 83 00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:01,153 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Lots of people around ♪ 84 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:04,948 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Baby, please come home ♪ 85 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,577 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ The church bells in town ♪ 86 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:12,372 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ All ringing in song ♪ 87 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:16,293 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Full of happy sounds ♪ 88 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,880 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Baby, please come home ♪ 89 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:24,093 ♪ They're singing 'Deck The Halls' ♪ 90 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,720 ♪ But it's not like Christmas at all... ♪ 91 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,013 Wait! Wait! 92 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,974 Stop, stop! 93 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,101 Stop! 94 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,312 ♪ And all the fun we had last year ♪ 95 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,857 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ Pretty lights on the tree ♪ 96 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,778 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ I'm watching them shine ♪ 97 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:46,657 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ You should be here with me ♪ 98 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,741 No! 99 00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:50,244 No, no, no, no! No! No! 100 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,454 - No, no, no! - One metre! 101 00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:55,749 You need to keep at least one metre from the platform edge, miss. Station rules. 102 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,672 You need to stop this train. It's an emergency! 103 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:04,133 If you wish to report an emergency, you need to call 01632323323. 104 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,510 I can't. My phone's on the train. That's the emergency. 105 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,388 A lost phone does not constitute an emergency, miss. 106 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:12,599 You can report it to Lost Property on 016323... 107 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:15,561 How can I report it if my phone is on the train? 108 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:16,687 Can I borrow yours? 109 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,773 I don't have one. There's no signal round here. 110 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,650 What? You don't have a mobile phone? 111 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,527 Where are we, 1985? 112 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,613 They tried installing a mast last year, but we were having none of it! 113 00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:29,324 Sorry, Bill Gates, you can take your radiation 114 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,076 and stick it where it belongs. 115 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,161 Bristol! 116 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:34,413 Oh, my God! This is a nightmare! 117 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,165 I was supposed to surprise this guy, 118 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:39,001 but then I fell asleep and I missed him, and now he's gone home and... 119 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,920 Man, that's where I'm supposed to be. My mum's gonna be freaking out! 120 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,257 And we're gonna lose our 99 day streak. 121 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:49,553 I'm gonna need that slower and in English. 122 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,890 Can I get a train to Macclesfield from here? 123 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,517 There speaks someone with little comprehension 124 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060 of the South West Rail Network. 125 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,645 Right. Right then. Right. 126 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:01,815 I just need to find James' house. 127 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,485 You know where everyone lives, right? 128 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,863 Because this is the countryside 129 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,449 you're going to assume everyone knows everyone else? 130 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,285 His name's Hughes. James Hughes? 131 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,954 Yeah, of course I know that one. 132 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:20,876 It's up the hill, past Chapman's house, turn right at June's cottage, 133 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:25,172 past the church, down the drive and, well, can't miss it. 134 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,256 Right, ta! 135 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:29,968 Right then, race you home, James Hughes. 136 00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:33,388 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ If there was a way ♪ 137 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:37,351 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ I'd hold back these tears ♪ 138 00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,938 - ♪ Christmas! ♪ - ♪ But it's Christmas Day ♪ 139 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,648 - ♪ Please! ♪ - ♪ Please! ♪ 140 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,857 - ♪ Please! ♪ - ♪ Please! ♪ 141 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:47,027 Guess who's waking up next to you on Christmas morning? 142 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,030 Thank you, Santa! 143 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:53,867 I am so sorry. I... I thought you were someone else. Sorry. 144 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,285 Aww! 145 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:57,371 Come back! 146 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,123 I've been very good! 147 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,015 Yes, little man, what can I do you for? 148 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:18,225 A '99, please. 149 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:21,270 Well, you'll have to come back in April for ice cream, 150 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:26,108 but if you're after a five kilo Norfolk Black with its giblets intact... 151 00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,528 you've come to the right place. 152 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,113 Weirdo! 153 00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:34,241 Eh? Cheeky git. 154 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,368 Hiya! Are you alright? Joking! 155 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,412 I'm not here, leave a message. Bye. 156 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,329 Turkeys! Simply the breast! 157 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,915 Get 'em while you can! They're getting gobbled up! 158 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,835 Gobble! 159 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,759 Starting route to Woodfield Road. 160 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,032 What do you want? 161 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,159 Me? Nothing. Nothing. I'm just... 162 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,702 Trespassing, are you? 163 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,496 No, no, no, I'm just looking for the Hughes household. 164 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:25,292 W... hey! Please don't shoot me! It's Christmas! 165 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,004 The Hughes household? 166 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,172 Yes, sir. 167 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,137 Rather you than me. 168 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,515 Thank you, sir. 169 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,023 Bloody hell! 170 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:52,110 I... I'm sorry. Are you sure this is... 171 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:11,046 Proceed to the route and make a U-turn. 172 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,132 Make a U-turn and proceed to... 173 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,967 - Oi! - Woodfield Road. 174 00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:20,055 Nice coat, mate. Shame there's no sleeves. 175 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,057 Well, it's actually a gilet. 176 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,102 Ooh! A gilet! 177 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,813 Look, guys, I'm not... I don't want any trouble. 178 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,732 Too late for that, 'Gilet'. 179 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:33,527 Please. Please. I'm really just... 180 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:36,822 Thank God! You're kids. 181 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,950 What? I'm nine and three-quarters, and he's nearly eight. 182 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,244 - Yeah. - Okay, well... 183 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,789 I'm looking for Woodfield Road. 184 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,751 - What's it worth, 'Gilet'? - Yeah, what's it worth? 185 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,336 Alright... 186 00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,714 I'll give you... a pound. 187 00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,050 Fiver! 188 00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:01,054 Okay, fine. 189 00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:02,681 - Each! - Each? 190 00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:03,932 Each! 191 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:08,270 Alright. 192 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:09,980 Fine. Deal. 193 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,357 Thank you. 194 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:13,942 Now where is it? 195 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:17,988 Unbelievable! 196 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:24,202 Happy to help! 197 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:32,252 ♪ I'll be home for Christmas ♪ 198 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:38,884 ♪ You can plan on me ♪ 199 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:47,976 ♪ Please have snow and mistletoe ♪ 200 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:54,524 ♪ And presents under the tree ♪ 201 00:12:56,568 --> 00:13:01,198 ♪ Christmas Eve will find me... ♪ 202 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,116 - Hello, I'm... - Late! 203 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,452 I know. I've been expecting you. 204 00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:07,162 Really? 205 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,747 For the last 20 minutes. 206 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,833 Listen, there's a guy out there with a gun. 207 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,797 Well, of course there is, you're in the country. 208 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,671 Come in, girl, you'll let all the good heat out. 209 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,385 Follow me. 210 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,846 Heat? What heat? 211 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,516 You can wait in here. Don't touch anything. 212 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,643 I'll let Mr Hughes know you're here. 213 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,938 An interesting choice of outfit. 214 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,194 27... 215 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,238 25... 216 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,949 - Ho ho ho! - Jesus! 217 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,284 Merry Christmas! 218 00:13:58,672 --> 00:13:59,673 Hello? 219 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,301 Anyone home? 220 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:05,428 - Surprise! - Merry Chris... 221 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,513 No, Dad! 222 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,056 Who the hell is that? 223 00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,517 - Is... Is Hayley here? - Who are you? 224 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,936 Yeah, who are you? 225 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,688 - I'm... - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 226 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,022 Mum! Mum! 227 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,400 Mum, don't listen to him! 228 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,361 Gilet gave us that tenner. We didn't mug him, honest. 229 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,904 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who is Gilet? 230 00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,573 He is. He's our mate. 231 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,325 - What? - Hello, Gilet. 232 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:29,661 Is that French? 233 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,706 Well, I suppose the word 'gilet' is, but I'm... 234 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,934 Are you not a little bit too old to be hanging out with my boys? 235 00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,293 I'm nine and three quarters! 236 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,877 - He's a pervert. - I just... 237 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,355 - He's not! -...bumped into them in an alleyway. 238 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,548 - And you gave them a tenner? - He's a drug dealer! 239 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:42,924 No, he's our mate. 240 00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,801 - Stop saying that. - I'm back! 241 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,220 - Right, positions! Positions! - Where are we going? 242 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,014 What are we doing? What's going on? 243 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,432 We're surprising Hayley! 244 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,142 Great! Okay. 245 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,602 That's... 246 00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,562 You're squeezing me a bit tight. 247 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,188 Careful, that's my... 248 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,523 Surprise! 249 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,817 - Merry Christmas! - No. No. No, no. 250 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,944 - No. - Where's Hayley? 251 00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:04,988 - Geoff? - She didn't show. 252 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:08,783 It's bloody freezing out there! I've got nipples like a '99 flake. 253 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744 There's a heavy snow on the way, Geoff. 254 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,638 - I forgot my coat, didn't I? - Well, did you call her? 255 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:15,498 - No, my phone's in my coat. - What are you doing back here then? 256 00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,292 Getting my bloody coat, aren't I? 257 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,501 Heading up from the South. 258 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,046 - You must be shattered. Get that bag off. - It's fine. 259 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,049 - Have you been flogging turkeys? - No. But if I was... 260 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:27,677 I would just have made a hundred quid! Hey! Whoa-ho! 261 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,888 - Get some music on. - You had one job. 262 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,641 What are you on about? I've had loads of jobs, all pigging day. 263 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:35,143 - I was delivering turkeys till five! - Unbelievable! 264 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:37,437 Right, boys, upstairs, go get yourselves cleaned up. 265 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:40,982 Remember, snitches get stitches. 266 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,901 And tell-tales get... 267 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,319 e-mails! 268 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:48,031 How many times do we lose this bloody remote? 269 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,620 - Hi. - Who the bloody hell are you? 270 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:56,706 He's either a drug dealer or a pervert. 271 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:57,999 I'm not. 272 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,167 Or both. 273 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,128 This is Gilet, Geoff. He's friends with the boys. 274 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,380 Again, I'm not. 275 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,883 Them kids! How many times have I got to tell you two, eh? 276 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,885 Hang around with lads your own age! 277 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,638 I'm nine and three quarters! Exactly! 278 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,474 Right. No offence, Gilet, but come on. 279 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:17,394 He can stay for a quick Christmas drink, surely? 280 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,146 - It's fine. - What other jobs you have to do, Geoff? 281 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,583 - Don't worry Granddad. I got the stuffing. - Come and have a seat with me. 282 00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:25,694 It's gone to voicemail. It never goes to voicemail. Love... 283 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,905 Cup of tea, Gilet? Oh, God! 284 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,448 That sounds exotic. 285 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,993 I've come across plenty of Lees and Darrens in my time. 286 00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,787 You can say that again! 287 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,206 But I can't say I've ever met another 'Gilet'. 288 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:40,542 It's a body warmer, Kaye. TK Maxx is full of 'em. 289 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:42,228 - You should go and look for her. - I'll be back in a minute. 290 00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:44,671 Look, Kath, let's give it half an hour, right? 291 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,857 We'll have a cuppa. If we've not heard from her by then... 292 00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:49,735 Okay, we'll give it exactly half an hour and then you'll go and look for her. 293 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,094 What, no cuppa? 294 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:53,805 No cuppa. 295 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:55,390 Kath... 296 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,809 Honestly, one of these days I'm gonna give you a simple task 297 00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,102 and you're gonna get it right! 298 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,854 Come on, it's Christmas Eve Eve. 299 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,148 I'm James. 300 00:17:21,915 --> 00:17:24,294 Hello! You must be Peanut. 301 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,005 Ohh! Okay, alright. Chill, chill, Peanut. 302 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,300 Peanut! 303 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,844 Like I said, very casual. 304 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:33,928 Thank you, Iris. 305 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,224 You may leave. 306 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,353 Will you please put that down? 307 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,688 Sorry, it's just... 308 00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,940 That's Tony Blair, right? And isn't that... 309 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,276 The first thing to establish when you are in my house: 310 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,403 that you respect my privacy. 311 00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,905 Oh, right. 312 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,407 - Sorry. - And the second 313 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,284 is the importance of punctuality. 314 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,954 Erm, look, I don't want to get off on the back foot. 315 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,039 I'm Hayley. 316 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,334 Taylor. 317 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,919 Humphrey Hughes. 318 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,171 And you get off on the wrong foot, not the back foot. 319 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,548 Yeah, course, but... 320 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,550 right now I feel like I'm doing a bit of both. 321 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,636 Yes, well, take a seat. 322 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,264 It has been something of an inauspicious start. 323 00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:20,350 We had been told good things. 324 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,976 - Oh, really? - Yes. 325 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,979 - Dependable, experienced, cheap. - What? 326 00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,524 And your background checks were clear. 327 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,150 Back... background checks? 328 00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,236 Standard procedure. You should have been informed. 329 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,682 Look, I don't know what James has told you about me, but... 330 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,199 - James? - Yes. 331 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,618 James. Your son? 332 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:43,873 - Tony Blair's ball boy. - My son's name is Hubert James Hughes, 333 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:46,000 and he is currently away training. 334 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:49,212 And I am a little confused as to how you know him. 335 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,172 Sorry, did you just say his name's 'Hubert'? 336 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,633 How do you know my son? 337 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,718 We're on the same course. 338 00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:58,638 You train with Hubert? 339 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,474 No, I train with James. 340 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:02,809 Well, where is he? 341 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,080 Well, I don't know. I was gonna ask you the same thing. Is he not here... 342 00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:08,982 Excuse me, sir. This is Doris. 343 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,693 I'm here about the cleaning job. 344 00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,572 Bit late, I know, but my... cat died. 345 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:17,699 Er... 346 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:22,620 Iris, I will, er, conduct the interview in my study. 347 00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,455 Very well. Come with me. 348 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,792 Wow! 349 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,085 You thought I was the cleaner. 350 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,171 Because I had an interview with a cleaner at 7:00 pm, 351 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:36,301 and at twenty past seven you knocked on my door. 352 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:38,219 Look, I'm going to have to deal with that. 353 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,138 Won't take long. She's clearly not right. 354 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:44,100 You will stay here until I return. Understood? 355 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,061 - Yes, sir! - And don't touch anything. 356 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,813 Come on, Peanut! 357 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:50,815 Come on, boy. 358 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,701 I'm sorry, you don't have a phone I could borrow? I left mine on the... 359 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,824 So I know she got on her train. 360 00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:01,993 But did she get off it? 361 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:05,038 I know I did, 'cause I'm here. 362 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,206 But Hayley's not. 363 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,043 And that begs the question... 364 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,586 where is she? 365 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,089 You say something, young man? 366 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,135 Never mind. 367 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,432 She missed her train, that's all. 368 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,701 Yes and now she's walking the streets! 369 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,477 Well, she'll be alright. 370 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,480 I thought, you know what, it's Christmas, screw the brew. 371 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,941 Have I introduced myself properly? I'm Kaye. 372 00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:35,693 You can call me Special K! 373 00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,196 I'm Ant and Dec's aunty. 374 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:39,447 Ant and Dec? 375 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,575 Oh, Gilet! You still here? 376 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,077 I offered him a drink. 377 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,161 Kaye, quick word. 378 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,581 What flavour stuffing you get? 379 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,291 Cranberry and chestnut, Grandad. 380 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,144 Now didn't we have a box of choccies knocking about? 381 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,295 Er, what are you doing, love? 382 00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:56,047 I think he likes me. 383 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,634 Look, we don't know him, and he is very young. 384 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,594 A minute ago, he was too old. 385 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,304 For Ant and Dec. 386 00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:05,431 Oh, Kath! 387 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,308 I'm a cougar these days. 388 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:08,977 It's very on trend. 389 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,189 Come on, sis, it's just a bit of Christmas fun! 390 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,359 Could have sworn we had some Maltesers on the go! 391 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,570 Ohh. I wonder how they got there, eh? 392 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:22,323 Kath was just saying, you can always stop for your tea. 393 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,033 Really? 394 00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,285 Oh, God! Completely forgot. Go and check the lasagne. 395 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,162 - No, it's fine. - That's me. 396 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,334 I should probably take this. 397 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:35,378 Do you have somewhere... private? 398 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,296 Like a study or... 399 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:39,549 Kitchen's through there. 400 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,511 Okay, yeah. Thank you. 401 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:50,560 Study? 402 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:55,398 - Dad, listen... - Hello, 'Hubert'. 403 00:21:55,606 --> 00:21:57,775 - Hayley? - Surprise! 404 00:21:57,859 --> 00:21:59,360 Where the hell are you? 405 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:00,903 What are you doing in my house? 406 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,798 I got on your train. I don't know what I was thinking. 407 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:06,200 Well, I do know what I was thinking. I was thinking it would be epic romantic. 408 00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:08,220 But then you weren't here, and it was actually horrifically awkward. 409 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,663 And now I'm stuck here, I've lost my phone, 410 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:13,374 and outside it's starting to look like the North Pole. 411 00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,501 Have you said anything about me? 412 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:18,921 No! And your house! You said you lived in a cottage, not a bloody castle! 413 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:22,800 Okay, yes, well, I-I may have done some downplaying. 414 00:22:22,884 --> 00:22:25,511 James, there's a picture of your dad with Prince Charles. 415 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:29,015 Yeah, okay, erm... 416 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,558 Okay, here we go. 417 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:36,773 My dad's official title is Lord Humphrey Manningham-Hughes. 418 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,858 - Lord? - Well, he's an Earl. 419 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,110 The Earl of Gloucester, to be precise. 420 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:43,362 Are you joking? 421 00:22:43,446 --> 00:22:45,281 I know, I should have told you, I know. 422 00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,868 But, look, I need you to not say anything... 423 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,828 James, are you a frickin' Royal? 424 00:22:50,912 --> 00:22:52,246 No! No! 425 00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,790 Well, technically, yes. 426 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:57,627 But I'm like... I'm like, 300th in line to the throne or something, okay? 427 00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,630 Like, put it this way, a lot of people would have to croak 428 00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,233 -for my character to turn up in The Crown. - I can't cope with this. 429 00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,594 But, Hayley, this is important: my dad, he doesn't know about... 430 00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,554 I don't believe it! 431 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,139 Oh gosh, oh gosh! 432 00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:11,849 How do you turn your oven off? 433 00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:13,935 My oven? Wait, what? What? 434 00:23:15,186 --> 00:23:16,729 I told you to check the lasagne! 435 00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:19,065 - Alright, don't panic! - What is going on? 436 00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,900 - It's... - Is the house on fire? 437 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,152 - No, no, no! - What are you doing, James? 438 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:25,488 Is this some sort of a joke? James... 439 00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:28,324 what the hell are you doing in my house? 440 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,701 What you said: Epic. Romantic. 441 00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:32,537 James, I need you to listen to me. 442 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:34,914 They do not know about you yet. Have you said anything? 443 00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:38,584 No. I mean, I haven't really been able to get a word in edgeways. 444 00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:40,748 James, I need you to do me the world's biggest favour 445 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:42,547 and not say anything. 446 00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:45,591 Okay. I mean, may I ask why? 447 00:23:45,675 --> 00:23:48,675 I'll explain when I see you, and I promise we will laugh about it afterwards. 448 00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,389 What am I supposed to say? 449 00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:53,516 Just say I'll be home tomorrow or something. 450 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:55,393 We're drama students. Improvise. 451 00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:58,229 You know how bad I am at impro! 452 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:01,232 Whenever I get stuck, I do that weird Scottish accent. 453 00:24:01,315 --> 00:24:04,152 Well, now's your time to get good, fast! I've got to go. 454 00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:06,112 Hayley, no! Hayley. 455 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,740 Okay. 456 00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:14,787 Impro. 457 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,835 Excuse me. 458 00:24:25,173 --> 00:24:27,800 I have a wee thing to tell ya. 459 00:24:35,016 --> 00:24:36,350 Your Lordship. 460 00:24:37,059 --> 00:24:38,269 Er, that was James. 461 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,521 - Hubert. - Yeah, Hubert. 462 00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:44,358 Erm, he said that his train's been delayed, but he will be back tomorrow. 463 00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,110 Right. 464 00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:50,198 And you are here... for what reason exactly? 465 00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:53,242 Do you know what? It's actually quite a funny story... 466 00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,121 Er, but probably for another time. 467 00:24:57,205 --> 00:25:00,833 I'm just on my way up North, and I thought I'd nip in, say hi to a mate. 468 00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:04,003 But he's clearly not here, so I will just be heading off. 469 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:06,214 - Safe travels. - Out of the question. 470 00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:10,760 I'm sorry, sir, but it's too late for her to travel in this tonight. 471 00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:13,846 Besides the last train will have left by now. 472 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,225 Hubert's room's made up already. 473 00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:19,227 - She could stay there. - Er... 474 00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:22,730 Oh... very well. 475 00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:26,859 Erm, Iris will call a cab for you in the morning. Early. 476 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,444 Thank you, My Lord. 477 00:25:29,195 --> 00:25:30,529 Come on, Peanut! 478 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:32,615 - Come on! - Come along. 479 00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:34,992 Getting the tour, am I? 480 00:25:39,455 --> 00:25:41,624 That's Mr Hughes' study. 481 00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:44,585 And through there is the main hall, 482 00:25:44,669 --> 00:25:46,712 and beyond that there's the conservatory, 483 00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:49,799 the kitchen, and the library's upstairs. 484 00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,259 Wow! 485 00:25:51,342 --> 00:25:54,679 You're only a billiard room away from a full Cluedo board. 486 00:25:54,762 --> 00:25:56,889 That's beyond the conservatory on the right. 487 00:25:58,140 --> 00:26:01,227 I'm gonna get killed with a lead pipe in the drawing room, aren't I? 488 00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:04,689 I sincerely hope not. The drawing room is strictly out of bounds. 489 00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:08,651 Besides, there is no drawing room on a Cluedo board. 490 00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:13,531 Oh, wow! This one looks just like James. 491 00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,533 If he went full hipster. 492 00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:17,410 That's the First Earl of Gloucester. 493 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,412 Fought alongside King Charles. 494 00:26:20,329 --> 00:26:23,708 This family has a proud military history. 495 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:27,878 It's produced field marshals at Waterloo, generals in the Boer. 496 00:26:28,671 --> 00:26:31,632 Hubert's great-great-grandfather was in the Somme. 497 00:26:31,716 --> 00:26:34,176 His great-grandfather fought with Montgomery. 498 00:26:35,177 --> 00:26:40,683 And of course, Mr Hughes' own record in Afghanistan and Iraq speaks for itself. 499 00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:42,768 Wow! 500 00:26:43,352 --> 00:26:46,105 So how does everyone feel about Hubert? 501 00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:48,024 - Very proud. - Really? 502 00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,110 As I'm sure your parents are of you. 503 00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:55,072 The officer training course at Sandhurst is... 504 00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:57,700 Well, it produces the best soldiers in the world. 505 00:26:57,783 --> 00:26:58,909 Sandhurst? 506 00:26:59,994 --> 00:27:02,163 You did say you were on the same course, didn't you? 507 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,207 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are. Sorry. 508 00:27:05,291 --> 00:27:07,293 Sorry, it's been a long day. 509 00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:10,129 Let me show you your bedroom. 510 00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:18,763 Here you are. 511 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:22,850 Supper will be in the main hall at nine. 512 00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:25,561 And try and wear something a little more... 513 00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:28,939 Not... not that. 514 00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:00,638 - Looks like... - I love lasagne! 515 00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:02,223 I've got to say, 516 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:04,910 losing her phone and missing her train is such a Hayley thing to do. 517 00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:06,620 Still don't know why she didn't call me, though. 518 00:28:06,644 --> 00:28:07,728 Here you go! 519 00:28:07,812 --> 00:28:10,481 Geoff, what have you got those out for? 520 00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:12,566 Gives Gilet a chance to get to know us quicker. 521 00:28:12,650 --> 00:28:13,818 'James' is fine. 522 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,361 Oh! Who put that there? 523 00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:18,531 - You did. - We had 'em made for Hayley's 21st. 524 00:28:18,614 --> 00:28:19,865 Who is he again? 525 00:28:19,949 --> 00:28:22,368 Hayley's friend from drama school, Mum! 526 00:28:22,952 --> 00:28:24,995 His train got cancelled at Macclesfield, 527 00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:28,165 so H texted him saying he could crash here for the night. 528 00:28:28,249 --> 00:28:29,369 - Shagging, are they? - Whoa! 529 00:28:29,959 --> 00:28:32,420 - Of course not, Mum! Bloody hell! - Oh, God, no. 530 00:28:32,503 --> 00:28:34,588 I'm... I'm very much single. 531 00:28:35,172 --> 00:28:36,173 Really? 532 00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,094 And gay. 533 00:28:40,845 --> 00:28:42,054 - Really? - Aye. 534 00:28:42,138 --> 00:28:45,683 I am just a wee bit into my men, it's true. 535 00:28:45,766 --> 00:28:48,144 Oh, cool! Who would you rather snog, Ronaldo or Messi? 536 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:50,271 That's Ronaldo, any day of the week. Right, Gilet? 537 00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:52,565 I'm a Lionel Messi man myself. 538 00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:54,817 Such a low centre of gravity. 539 00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,319 So, er, Ant and Dec, are those your real names? 540 00:28:57,403 --> 00:28:58,988 Oh, God, here we go! 541 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:01,782 Right, so, Dad is Antony, 542 00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:04,743 and then Geoff's dad was Declan. Do you know what? 543 00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:07,413 It wasn't until we'd done it that we even realised. 544 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:10,499 Not that we're not big fans of the presenters. Cracking chemistry. 545 00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:14,378 Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna put this here, 546 00:29:14,462 --> 00:29:16,297 so that Hayley... 547 00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,966 is here in spirit. 548 00:29:19,049 --> 00:29:20,926 She's in London, Kath. She's not dead. 549 00:29:21,010 --> 00:29:24,013 She's such a worrier these days. 550 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:26,557 Can't imagine what you were like when she got her tattoo. 551 00:29:28,934 --> 00:29:29,977 Tattoo? 552 00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:32,730 I mean... 553 00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:35,149 if... if she got a tattoo, 554 00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:37,234 just to imagine what you'd be like. 555 00:29:40,029 --> 00:29:41,840 H would tell me if she got a tattoo, wouldn't she? 556 00:29:41,864 --> 00:29:42,948 Yeah. 557 00:29:43,032 --> 00:29:45,993 Well, I never told anybody when I got mine. 558 00:30:12,603 --> 00:30:14,396 Do you get to eat in here every night? 559 00:30:15,064 --> 00:30:17,900 Most evenings I enjoy supper in my study. 560 00:30:17,983 --> 00:30:19,109 Alone. 561 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:21,904 Right. 562 00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,789 Must be fun being a lord. 563 00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:38,337 I try not to use the title, where possible. 564 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:41,549 Really? If it was me, I'd be using it all the time! 565 00:30:41,632 --> 00:30:43,759 'Her Lordship's coming through!' 566 00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:46,053 Straight to the front of the queue at H&M. 567 00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:50,015 'Out the way, people, Her Lordship needs a new boob tube.' 568 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,281 So what are your plans for Christmas? 569 00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:08,826 We tend not to make a fuss of Christmas in this house. 570 00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:11,662 Oh, but come on, the fuss is the best bit! 571 00:31:11,745 --> 00:31:15,082 And you could get a massive Christmas tree in here! 572 00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:17,793 Like, my house is tiny, but you should see it at Christmas. 573 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:20,629 Man alive, like, we have Advent candles, 574 00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,298 Advent calendars, 575 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:24,216 we even have this, like, Advent toilet roll 576 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:26,635 that's got, like, the Christmas cracker jokes on it. 577 00:31:26,719 --> 00:31:30,306 And my mum! She has this musical reindeer. 578 00:31:30,389 --> 00:31:32,725 It's like... ♪ Jingle bells! Jingle... ♪ Ugh! 579 00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:35,311 - It drives everybody nuts. - And... 580 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:39,607 Tonight, my nan, she makes these, like, Christmas pudding muffins, 581 00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:41,859 and if you find the one with the coin baked in it, 582 00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:44,695 you don't have to do any chores for the whole of Crimbo. 583 00:31:52,202 --> 00:31:55,247 I just think every home should have a Christmas tree, that's all. 584 00:32:00,294 --> 00:32:03,088 Well, you won't see many Christmases at home... 585 00:32:03,797 --> 00:32:05,382 once you get your commission. 586 00:32:05,466 --> 00:32:06,508 Sorry? 587 00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:09,386 Once you're an officer. 588 00:32:09,845 --> 00:32:12,097 You won't get home very often. 589 00:32:12,473 --> 00:32:14,183 Well, all depends, sir. 590 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:17,186 If I get in the LANCS Regiment, like I hope, then I'll be just up the road. 591 00:32:17,519 --> 00:32:18,646 The LANCS? 592 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:23,233 Well, don't they refer to themselves as the... 593 00:32:23,317 --> 00:32:25,402 Mmm. The Lions Of England, yeah. 594 00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:27,404 Or the Kingsmen, if you prefer. 595 00:32:33,243 --> 00:32:37,456 As someone who never really had a choice, 596 00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:42,211 I'm curious, why did you choose the army as a career? 597 00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:44,672 Mmm. Much like James, actually. 598 00:32:44,755 --> 00:32:46,382 My dad was a massive influence. 599 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:48,008 He served? 600 00:32:48,092 --> 00:32:49,802 He served a lot, yeah. 601 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:53,222 Ice... Icy conditions were his speciality. 602 00:32:53,305 --> 00:32:56,767 But... very secretive. We're not really allowed to talk about it. 603 00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,437 That sounds like the Mountain Troop. 604 00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:04,942 Yes, that's the one, but you didn't hear it from me. 605 00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:06,568 Ninety-Nine Regiment. 606 00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:09,738 SAS arctic survival experts. 607 00:33:11,365 --> 00:33:15,577 Yes, I've seen what those boys can do in the mountains of Afghanistan. 608 00:33:16,745 --> 00:33:19,873 Your father must be an impressive physical specimen. 609 00:33:19,957 --> 00:33:24,420 Oh, yes, sir. He really keeps himself in shape. 610 00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:29,466 That hit the spot, eh? 611 00:33:29,550 --> 00:33:31,468 - What was I saying? - Turkey Trot. 612 00:33:31,552 --> 00:33:34,346 Oh, yeah. So, it was this half marathon, right? 613 00:33:34,430 --> 00:33:37,683 And they do it every Saturday before Crimbo, 614 00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:39,977 and they call it the Turkey Trot. 615 00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:41,645 Because every finisher gets a turkey. 616 00:33:41,729 --> 00:33:44,273 - The race starts at 9:00 am, right? - Yeah. 617 00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:48,277 He comes home at 2:30, and he's carrying... 618 00:33:48,402 --> 00:33:50,195 A frozen bloody chicken! 619 00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:54,742 It had taken him that long to get round, they'd run out of turkeys! 620 00:33:54,825 --> 00:33:56,577 Chicken for Christmas dinner? 621 00:33:56,660 --> 00:33:58,179 - I'll never live it down! - That's for you. 622 00:33:58,203 --> 00:33:59,496 - Thank you. - Right! 623 00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:02,082 - Let's see who's got the golden ticket. - Oh, yeah, Gilet. 624 00:34:02,166 --> 00:34:05,210 You find the ten-pence piece, and you're chore-free, eh? 625 00:34:05,294 --> 00:34:06,920 In my day, it was a sixpence. 626 00:34:15,512 --> 00:34:18,181 - I think it's stuck. - I think someone's found the 10p. 627 00:34:18,264 --> 00:34:20,976 Man! I hate doing the dishes! 628 00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,728 - He doesn't even live here. Rematch! - Is he alright? 629 00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:25,981 - He's choking. - Bloody no! That's real! 630 00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:27,900 You alright, mate? 631 00:34:27,983 --> 00:34:30,319 You know, a sixpence was much smaller. 632 00:34:30,402 --> 00:34:33,112 - Is he going to die? - It would've slipped right through. 633 00:34:33,197 --> 00:34:35,783 - Stay there. Turn round. - No, boys! No, don't film! 634 00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:37,868 - Put your cameras away. - Stay with me! 635 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:40,078 Geoff! What are you doing? 636 00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:41,580 I'm doing the Heimlich manoeuvre! 637 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,474 And how many first-aid courses have you done at work? 638 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,578 Out of the way, out of the way, out of the way. Turn! 639 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:53,801 Dramatic! 640 00:34:53,884 --> 00:34:56,178 No washing up for me this year. 641 00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,679 You alright? 642 00:34:57,763 --> 00:35:00,474 - Are you alright? - How about that for drama, eh? 643 00:35:03,727 --> 00:35:07,439 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 644 00:35:07,523 --> 00:35:10,901 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 645 00:35:10,984 --> 00:35:16,156 ♪ It's the time of the year When all good dreams come true ♪ 646 00:35:16,907 --> 00:35:20,452 ♪ I look at all the toys Under the Christmas tree ♪ 647 00:35:20,536 --> 00:35:24,414 ♪ It makes me think about The way that things could be ♪ 648 00:35:24,498 --> 00:35:29,878 ♪ If people all over the world Could just see them too ♪ 649 00:35:32,089 --> 00:35:35,384 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 650 00:35:36,093 --> 00:35:39,221 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 651 00:35:39,304 --> 00:35:45,143 ♪ It's the time of the year When all good dreams come true ♪ 652 00:35:45,227 --> 00:35:48,939 ♪ I look at all the toys Under the Christmas tree ♪ 653 00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:52,693 ♪ Makes me think about The way that things could be ♪ 654 00:35:52,776 --> 00:35:57,281 ♪ If people all over the world Could just see them too ♪ 655 00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:58,490 Ohh! 656 00:35:58,574 --> 00:35:59,992 Hey, Peanut! 657 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,160 Have you come to keep me company? 658 00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:06,331 Ohh. 659 00:36:06,415 --> 00:36:10,168 What is this? Is this for you? 660 00:36:12,296 --> 00:36:14,131 What is this? 661 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,721 James Hughes! 662 00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:26,602 For someone who blushes a lot, your master is a saucy devil. 663 00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:31,315 Peanut! Bad dog. Peanut! 664 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:32,566 Peanut! 665 00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:33,942 Peanut, Peanut! 666 00:36:34,026 --> 00:36:36,737 Peanut! You little dog pervert! 667 00:36:38,780 --> 00:36:41,658 Peanut! Peanut! Give it to me here! 668 00:36:41,742 --> 00:36:43,410 Drop, Peanut! 669 00:36:43,493 --> 00:36:45,621 Give it to me! Give me that! 670 00:36:45,704 --> 00:36:48,457 Please, please, please, just... Peanut! 671 00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,042 What are you doing down here? 672 00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,419 - Sorry, your dog has something of mine. - Peanut! 673 00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,171 - Give! - I mean... 674 00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:55,881 it's not really mine. 675 00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:59,259 Technically, I suppose, it sort of is mine, but only because... 676 00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:02,012 It's mine. 677 00:37:03,889 --> 00:37:06,683 This area of the house is strictly off limits. 678 00:37:06,767 --> 00:37:08,268 Yeah, sorry. I know. 679 00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:10,687 Iris said, but I just lost my bearings. 680 00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,067 Miss Taylor... 681 00:37:15,651 --> 00:37:18,362 you may heart cuddles, 682 00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:20,072 but what I heart 683 00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:22,407 is people who can do as they are told! 684 00:37:22,491 --> 00:37:23,867 Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. 685 00:37:23,951 --> 00:37:27,245 Um, don't worry, I'll be out of your hair in the morning. 686 00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:28,622 I'm glad to hear it. 687 00:37:30,916 --> 00:37:32,292 Aren't you forgetting something? 688 00:37:43,261 --> 00:37:44,596 Oh, my God. 689 00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,226 Once again, love, we're really sorry. 690 00:37:49,309 --> 00:37:50,686 Well, it's my own fault. 691 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:52,187 It was, yeah. 692 00:37:52,270 --> 00:37:54,690 You should always check your food for currency. 693 00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:57,109 This is you. 694 00:37:58,151 --> 00:37:59,236 Thanks. 695 00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:06,243 Right, then. It's jacuzzi o'clock for us. 696 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:08,245 We've just had one fitted, en suite. 697 00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:11,081 Kath here's mad for 'em. Hey! 698 00:38:11,164 --> 00:38:13,417 Gilet does not need to know about that. 699 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:17,546 Erm, night-night, love, and Geoff will drop you at the station first thing. 700 00:38:17,629 --> 00:38:20,257 Well, it's Christmas Eve tomorrow. I was hoping for a... 701 00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:23,218 First thing. 702 00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,302 Thanks. 703 00:38:26,096 --> 00:38:27,139 Night. 704 00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:49,661 Look at you, Hayley Taylor. 705 00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:52,289 Ah, you are... 706 00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:02,883 Magic? 707 00:39:05,135 --> 00:39:08,263 There's my little floozy in the jacuzzi! 708 00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:11,558 Does Mr Whippy want some sprinkles and sauce? 709 00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:15,187 - No! - There we go! 710 00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:24,571 ♪ Softly they fall, where do they go? ♪ 711 00:39:24,654 --> 00:39:25,906 ♪ Purple snowflakes ♪ 712 00:39:25,989 --> 00:39:30,368 -♪ Cover the ground, without a sound ♪ -♪ Gentle snowflakes ♪ 713 00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:34,790 -♪ Fall from the sky, before your eyes ♪ -♪ It's so thrilling ♪ 714 00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:38,877 -♪ Blankets of white, brighten the night ♪ -♪ Such a feeling ♪ 715 00:39:39,586 --> 00:39:42,422 ♪ They seem to say ♪ 716 00:39:42,506 --> 00:39:46,468 ♪ That our love is here to stay ♪ 717 00:39:47,135 --> 00:39:49,429 ♪ We'll be cosy and warm ♪ 718 00:39:49,513 --> 00:39:53,725 ♪ Until summer flowers bloom ♪ 719 00:39:57,104 --> 00:39:58,522 Cab here? 720 00:39:58,605 --> 00:40:02,109 Uh, they're refusing to send any in the snow, so I'm just gonna walk. 721 00:40:02,859 --> 00:40:04,694 When you get back to Sandhurst, 722 00:40:04,778 --> 00:40:07,114 pass on my regards to Colonel Dowd. 723 00:40:07,197 --> 00:40:09,157 I trust he's still in charge of new intake? 724 00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:13,328 Oh, aye. Old Dowder's still there. The old ball-breaker. 725 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:15,080 Except he isn't. 726 00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:17,499 And he never was. 727 00:40:18,041 --> 00:40:21,253 There is, however, a Colonel Crosby who informed me that my son 728 00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:24,089 discharged himself after only three days. 729 00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:26,716 He'd been led to believe it was with my blessing. 730 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,219 And of course, he'd never heard of you, 731 00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:31,179 which I can't say is a surprise. 732 00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:33,723 Why? 'Cause people like me don't get to be army officers? 733 00:40:33,807 --> 00:40:36,101 Precisely. You're asthmatic. 734 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,354 And quite clearly a performer. 735 00:40:40,564 --> 00:40:42,524 Much more suited to the drama course 736 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:45,986 at the Guildhall School of Performing Arts. 737 00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:48,363 Unlike my son. 738 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,450 I see, so you've been running more background checks? 739 00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:56,580 We've always ensured that this family has served its country, 740 00:40:56,663 --> 00:41:01,001 and I have a right to know if my son has abandoned his duty. 741 00:41:02,002 --> 00:41:06,173 So, perhaps you'd like to explain to me exactly what is going on. 742 00:41:09,301 --> 00:41:13,180 Maybe you should talk to James about that, not me. 743 00:41:13,263 --> 00:41:15,640 I just wanna go away and be with my family. 744 00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:16,766 This has been... 745 00:41:17,893 --> 00:41:19,936 really weird! 746 00:41:23,023 --> 00:41:24,774 Merry Christmas. 747 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:37,621 Ohh. 748 00:41:58,058 --> 00:42:00,393 Kicked you out already, has he? 749 00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:03,104 No surprise there. 750 00:42:17,077 --> 00:42:20,247 I've never really been one for emotional goodbyes, so, erm... 751 00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:26,628 - Thanks, Geoff. - Yeah. 752 00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:28,755 Sorry it couldn't have been a longer stay. 753 00:42:30,632 --> 00:42:32,175 Let's be honest, mate, 754 00:42:32,259 --> 00:42:35,345 if you stuck round any longer on Christmas Eve, it would've been weird. 755 00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:37,138 No one really wanted that. 756 00:42:37,222 --> 00:42:39,891 The 8:33 to Hull on platform three 757 00:42:39,975 --> 00:42:41,911 - has been cancelled. - Glad I'm not going to Hull. 758 00:42:41,935 --> 00:42:43,687 Aren't we all, lad? 759 00:42:44,562 --> 00:42:47,941 We apologise for the inconvenience this may cause you. 760 00:42:49,484 --> 00:42:52,070 - Bloody hell! - The train to London Euston 761 00:42:52,153 --> 00:42:53,780 has now been cancelled. 762 00:42:53,863 --> 00:42:56,491 We are sorry for the disruption to your service. 763 00:42:57,617 --> 00:43:02,831 The 8:59 from platform one calling at Reading, Swindon... 764 00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:04,457 Oh, you're kidding me! 765 00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:07,669 Your attention, please. 766 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:10,297 Due to the adverse weather conditions 767 00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:13,383 all services from this station are now suspended. 768 00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:18,096 Please remain calm. I repeat, please remain calm. 769 00:43:20,015 --> 00:43:21,826 Looks like we're spending another night at my mother's. 770 00:43:21,850 --> 00:43:25,020 Ohh, shit! Shit! 771 00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,647 My sentiments exactly, dear. 772 00:43:29,316 --> 00:43:30,734 Come on! 773 00:43:35,488 --> 00:43:36,614 Hello? 774 00:43:36,698 --> 00:43:38,908 I've just had the worst night of my life. 775 00:43:38,992 --> 00:43:41,661 - Where are you? - I'm at the station. 776 00:43:41,745 --> 00:43:43,913 And I guess my dad knows about drama school then? 777 00:43:43,997 --> 00:43:47,751 Only after I spent all night pretending I was G.I. bloody Jane. 778 00:43:47,834 --> 00:43:51,087 - I tried to tell you. - Yeah. When exactly? 779 00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:54,883 I mean, you've had two months and you actually haven't told me anything. 780 00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:57,552 I'll be honest, right now, I feel like I don't even know you. 781 00:43:57,635 --> 00:44:00,430 - Okay, hang on. - I can't hang on! 782 00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:02,182 I'm on a real-life payphone. 783 00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:05,685 I had to ask the weird old station master to show me how it worked. 784 00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:07,913 Look, I really wanted to tell you, 785 00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:10,231 but I didn't know how you were gonna react, 786 00:44:10,315 --> 00:44:13,109 -and then it just felt like... - I thought we could trust each other. 787 00:44:14,069 --> 00:44:17,822 Well, yeah, you certainly trusted me to lie to your parents about us. 788 00:44:17,906 --> 00:44:20,075 Do not try and deflect this on to me. 789 00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:22,410 Come on, there's loads of things you haven't told me too. 790 00:44:22,494 --> 00:44:23,870 Like what? 791 00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:25,497 Like, you're a magician! 792 00:44:25,580 --> 00:44:27,415 You are an Earl. 793 00:44:27,499 --> 00:44:30,502 You went to Eton. You are going to inherit an estate! 794 00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:33,338 If you can't be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself. 795 00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:34,547 You hunt! 796 00:44:35,507 --> 00:44:37,008 What did you just call me? 797 00:44:38,843 --> 00:44:39,928 Hello? 798 00:44:42,639 --> 00:44:44,057 Hop in, Gilet! 799 00:45:02,951 --> 00:45:04,911 Any chance of a coffee? 800 00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,747 I think we can do better than that. 801 00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,918 There you are. That should warm you up. 802 00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,044 Thanks. 803 00:45:14,170 --> 00:45:16,131 I always have a glass of sherry with my nan 804 00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:18,466 on Christmas Eve when we have a pamper. 805 00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:21,136 - Cheers. - Cheers. 806 00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:22,971 Let's call it breakfast. 807 00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:29,310 Thanks for letting me back in. 808 00:45:29,394 --> 00:45:31,980 I didn't really know where else to go. 809 00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:34,649 I'm so glad it was you that answered the door. 810 00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:37,110 Oh... well, yes. 811 00:45:37,193 --> 00:45:39,988 I'd apologise for his behaviour if I could, 812 00:45:40,071 --> 00:45:43,950 but, unfortunately, that's not in my job description. 813 00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:48,997 It appears that over the last few years he's forgotten how to treat our guests. 814 00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:53,376 Still, not to worry. Today's one of the few days he goes out. 815 00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:56,588 And he won't be back till much later, 816 00:45:56,671 --> 00:46:00,341 so, perhaps by then your trains will be up and running again. 817 00:46:02,010 --> 00:46:03,386 Is that James' mum? 818 00:46:04,012 --> 00:46:05,263 Fiona, yes. 819 00:46:06,055 --> 00:46:08,057 She passed away, didn't she? 820 00:46:09,017 --> 00:46:10,435 Four years ago now. 821 00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:13,563 James never really wants to talk about it. 822 00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:16,524 Like father, like son. 823 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:20,820 All you need to know is it wasn't always like this. 824 00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:25,533 No, there was a time when this house was full of fun and laughter. 825 00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:29,287 Especially at Christmas. They used to love Christmas. 826 00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:32,957 Oh, Fiona and Mr Hughes had great plans. 827 00:46:33,041 --> 00:46:36,419 They were going to host wedding parties, even a music festival. 828 00:46:36,503 --> 00:46:37,962 - No way! - Yeah. 829 00:46:38,046 --> 00:46:40,882 Gloucestonbury. It would have been quite a weekend. 830 00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,800 Oh, anyway. 831 00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:45,470 I better get going. 832 00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:47,597 My list won't 'to do' itself. 833 00:46:48,473 --> 00:46:51,226 So... stay as long as you like. 834 00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:52,936 - Make yourself at home. - Thanks. 835 00:46:53,019 --> 00:46:54,354 Just don't read my diaries. 836 00:46:55,104 --> 00:46:58,358 And if you do go out, make sure that dog stays inside. 837 00:46:58,858 --> 00:47:00,235 He's a runner. 838 00:47:00,318 --> 00:47:02,320 I can think of plenty of other words for him. 839 00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:04,531 Oh, Peanut's alright. 840 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:10,078 Like a lot of people round here, his bark is far worse than his bite. 841 00:47:17,627 --> 00:47:23,633 ♪ O, tidings of comfort and joy ♪ 842 00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:26,177 ♪ Comfort and joy ♪ 843 00:47:26,261 --> 00:47:32,267 ♪ O, tidings of comfort and joy ♪ 844 00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:51,869 Yeah, the boys will be delighted you're back, Gilet. 845 00:47:51,953 --> 00:47:54,080 They've taken a real shine to you. 846 00:47:54,163 --> 00:47:56,499 Get him! Get him, get him! Quick, get him in the face! 847 00:47:56,583 --> 00:47:57,834 Aah! Stop! 848 00:47:57,917 --> 00:47:59,294 Dec! 849 00:47:59,377 --> 00:48:02,005 - Not in the face! Ow! - Yes! 850 00:48:02,088 --> 00:48:04,591 The cold weather sweeping in from Siberia... 851 00:48:04,674 --> 00:48:06,735 There weren't any rocks in the ones they threw at me. 852 00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:08,553 - I'm sure it was an accident. - Yeah. 853 00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:10,430 - Put some ice on it, love. - Yeah. 854 00:48:10,513 --> 00:48:12,140 - Okay. - You'll survive, lad. 855 00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:13,308 I know. 856 00:48:13,391 --> 00:48:15,977 - Them kids, eh? - Right, what we gonna do? 857 00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,080 Sneak out the back door and ambush them from the rear? 858 00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:20,273 About Hayley being stuck in the hell hole. 859 00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:23,234 Oh, the trains'll be up and running soon enough. 860 00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:24,319 Well... 861 00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:26,171 She wouldn't want us to cancel our Christmas Eve 862 00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:27,655 just 'cause her train's delayed. 863 00:48:27,739 --> 00:48:30,074 We owe it to her to crack on with tradition. 864 00:48:30,158 --> 00:48:32,327 - Boys to the pub! - Girls have a pamper! 865 00:48:32,410 --> 00:48:34,412 Exactly! It's what Hayley would have wanted. 866 00:48:34,495 --> 00:48:35,997 Right, we're off to The Tuns. 867 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,291 We'll set up the home spa! 868 00:48:39,459 --> 00:48:41,127 Get slicing those cucumbers, Gladys. 869 00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:43,254 Do it yourself. I'm watching the news. 870 00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:46,382 It's not going to be the same without Hayley. We need it to be the four of us. 871 00:48:46,466 --> 00:48:48,092 Oh, Gilet can take her place! 872 00:48:48,176 --> 00:48:50,496 Why don't you stay with us and have a pamper with the girls? 873 00:48:50,553 --> 00:48:52,263 I'm sorry, what's happening now? 874 00:48:52,347 --> 00:48:54,366 Yeah, you could fill us in on what she's been up to! 875 00:48:54,390 --> 00:48:56,434 No, he's coming to the pub with me and Granddad! 876 00:48:56,517 --> 00:48:58,061 I do not think that The Tuns 877 00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:00,772 is the sort of place that Gilet would like to go to, Geoff. 878 00:49:00,855 --> 00:49:04,150 The pub'll be no fun for you. It's all Guinness and football, 879 00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:06,110 and 'Fairytale of New York'. 880 00:49:06,194 --> 00:49:08,112 I mean, that doesn't sound not fun. 881 00:49:08,196 --> 00:49:10,406 I do enjoy a drop of Guinness now and again. 882 00:49:10,490 --> 00:49:12,367 Looks like you haven't got a choice, pal. 883 00:49:12,450 --> 00:49:14,577 Anthony, we're leaving a good man behind, 884 00:49:14,661 --> 00:49:17,121 but desperate times call for desperate measures. 885 00:49:17,205 --> 00:49:19,685 - Onwards, Christian soldier! -♪ Onwards, Christian soldier... ♪ 886 00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:21,167 Hey, don't wait up! 887 00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:24,128 Now Christmas has started! 888 00:49:24,212 --> 00:49:25,588 Come on! 889 00:51:40,932 --> 00:51:42,350 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 890 00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:44,352 ♪ Candles burnin' low ♪ 891 00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:47,438 ♪ Lots of mistletoe ♪ 892 00:51:48,231 --> 00:51:50,149 ♪ Lots of snow and ice ♪ 893 00:51:50,942 --> 00:51:53,653 ♪ Everywhere we go ♪ 894 00:51:53,736 --> 00:51:56,197 ♪ Choirs singin' carols ♪ 895 00:51:57,114 --> 00:51:59,408 ♪ Right outside my door ♪ 896 00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:01,536 ♪ All these things and more ♪ 897 00:52:02,662 --> 00:52:04,747 ♪ All these things and more ♪ 898 00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:07,875 ♪ That's what Christmas Means to me, my love ♪ 899 00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:09,019 ♪ What Christmas means to me, my love ♪ 900 00:52:09,043 --> 00:52:12,004 ♪ Ah, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah! ♪ 901 00:52:13,506 --> 00:52:15,174 ♪ You know what I mean ♪ 902 00:52:16,467 --> 00:52:19,011 ♪ I see your smilin' face ♪ 903 00:52:19,679 --> 00:52:22,223 ♪ Like I've never seen before ♪ 904 00:52:23,099 --> 00:52:25,893 ♪ Even though I love ya madly ♪ 905 00:52:25,977 --> 00:52:28,396 ♪ It seems I love you more ♪ 906 00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:30,857 ♪ The little cards you'll give me ♪ 907 00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:34,610 ♪ Touch my heart for sure ♪ 908 00:52:34,694 --> 00:52:38,906 -♪ All these things and more, darling ♪ -♪ All these things and more ♪ 909 00:52:38,990 --> 00:52:42,910 ♪ Whoa, that's what Christmas means to me, my love ♪ 910 00:52:42,994 --> 00:52:45,538 ♪ That's what Christmas Means to me, my love ♪ 911 00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:46,622 ♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ 912 00:52:46,706 --> 00:52:49,625 - ♪ I feel like running wild ♪ - ♪ Running wild! ♪ 913 00:52:49,709 --> 00:52:51,961 ♪ As anxious as a little child ♪ 914 00:52:52,044 --> 00:52:54,964 ♪ Greet you 'neath the mistletoe ♪ 915 00:52:55,047 --> 00:52:57,633 ♪ Kiss you once and then some more ♪ 916 00:52:57,717 --> 00:53:00,469 ♪ And wish you a Merry Christmas, baby ♪ 917 00:53:00,553 --> 00:53:03,347 -♪ Wish you a Merry Christmas, baby ♪ -♪ Whoa! ♪ 918 00:53:03,431 --> 00:53:06,684 ♪ And such happiness in the coming year ♪ 919 00:53:06,767 --> 00:53:09,186 -♪ Happiness in the coming year ♪ -♪ Oh, baby ♪ 920 00:53:09,270 --> 00:53:11,606 ♪ Let's deck the halls with holly... ♪ 921 00:53:11,689 --> 00:53:16,068 Now that is what I call a fuss! 922 00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,592 Peanut! 923 00:53:40,593 --> 00:53:42,219 Peanut! 924 00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,681 Oh, my God! 925 00:53:50,811 --> 00:53:52,021 Okay... 926 00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:08,704 Please don't be lost! Please don't be lost! Please don't be lost! 927 00:54:08,788 --> 00:54:09,997 Please don't be lost! 928 00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:13,584 Wait, Peanut, wait! Wait. 929 00:54:13,668 --> 00:54:15,294 Wait! 930 00:54:16,253 --> 00:54:17,964 Wait! Good boy. 931 00:54:18,047 --> 00:54:20,049 Good boy. Good boy. 932 00:54:20,132 --> 00:54:22,009 Just wait there, yes. Yes. 933 00:54:22,093 --> 00:54:24,887 Wait there. Okay. Good boy. 934 00:54:24,971 --> 00:54:27,807 Good boy. Good boy. 935 00:54:28,391 --> 00:54:30,851 Wait there. Don't move. 936 00:54:30,935 --> 00:54:33,145 Good boy. Great! 937 00:54:33,229 --> 00:54:35,064 Oh, gosh. 938 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:38,818 Ohh. 939 00:54:40,069 --> 00:54:42,738 Okay. Yes! That's it. 940 00:54:43,864 --> 00:54:45,157 Wait there, Peanut. 941 00:54:45,241 --> 00:54:46,659 Wait there. 942 00:54:51,205 --> 00:54:52,373 Yes! 943 00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:55,126 You forgot my dad was in the Mountain Troop, didn't you, Peanut? 944 00:54:57,086 --> 00:54:58,212 Got you. 945 00:54:59,714 --> 00:55:01,757 Please! I'm just getting the dog. 946 00:55:01,841 --> 00:55:03,968 You expect me to believe that? 947 00:55:04,051 --> 00:55:07,847 You are scrumping. Scrumping for my apples. 948 00:55:09,598 --> 00:55:12,977 Who sent you? Magners? Bulmers? 949 00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:15,396 You city folk will never 950 00:55:15,479 --> 00:55:18,315 be able to make cider like us, and do you know why? 951 00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:20,651 - Pomace. - Pomace? 952 00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:23,029 Well, don't worry. I'm not here for your pomace. 953 00:55:23,112 --> 00:55:26,115 - It's good pomace. - No, I bet it is, whatever it is, 954 00:55:26,198 --> 00:55:27,908 but I'm not here for your cider. 955 00:55:27,992 --> 00:55:31,579 I'm just here to make sure this stupid dog doesn't get killed by your electric fence. 956 00:55:31,662 --> 00:55:33,164 Pull the other one! 957 00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:36,208 Everyone round here knows this fence isn't turned on. 958 00:55:36,292 --> 00:55:37,418 See? 959 00:55:40,046 --> 00:55:41,047 Oh, my... 960 00:55:41,130 --> 00:55:42,465 Oh, my God! 961 00:55:46,635 --> 00:55:49,847 Oh, my God! 962 00:55:54,477 --> 00:55:56,687 That's enough from us though, Gilet. 963 00:55:56,771 --> 00:55:58,647 It's time for you to start dishing the dirt. 964 00:55:58,731 --> 00:56:00,811 Oh, yeah. Come on, tell us how our girl's getting on. 965 00:56:01,734 --> 00:56:03,694 Well, okay. Well... 966 00:56:03,778 --> 00:56:06,489 She's... I mean... I mean, she's great. 967 00:56:06,572 --> 00:56:08,741 She works hard, she plays hard. 968 00:56:08,824 --> 00:56:10,868 - Mm-hmm. - She's... 969 00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:14,288 She's actually been spending a lot of time with this guy on her course. 970 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:16,332 - They seem to be getting on very well. - Oh? 971 00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:18,876 Mm. Yeah, can't seem to get enough of each other. 972 00:56:18,959 --> 00:56:22,588 They always make each other laugh. It seems great. 973 00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:25,299 From the outside. 974 00:56:26,092 --> 00:56:28,385 Well, well, well! Hayley Taylor, juggling her men! 975 00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:30,763 I knew I'd be a positive influence on my girl. 976 00:56:30,846 --> 00:56:33,808 - Juggling? - No. No, she would not do that to Steve. 977 00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:35,017 Who's Steve? 978 00:56:35,101 --> 00:56:39,480 ♪ We three kings of Orient are! One in a taxi, one in a bra! ♪ 979 00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:43,275 ♪ One on a scooter, pipping his hooter ♪ 980 00:56:43,359 --> 00:56:46,570 ♪ Smoking a big cigar! ♪ 981 00:56:46,654 --> 00:56:49,240 - ♪ Whoa! ♪ - Right. 982 00:56:52,952 --> 00:56:55,246 ♪ United are effing shite! ♪ 983 00:56:56,539 --> 00:56:58,040 Long time no see! 984 00:56:58,124 --> 00:56:59,875 Long time no Steve! 985 00:56:59,959 --> 00:57:01,210 Boys, look who's here! 986 00:57:01,293 --> 00:57:02,878 Steve! 987 00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:05,673 Hey, hey, hey! 988 00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,633 That's Lance Corporal Steve to you. 989 00:57:11,387 --> 00:57:14,640 When did you get back? I've sent all your presents to the barracks! 990 00:57:14,723 --> 00:57:16,058 Aw, you shouldn't have. 991 00:57:16,142 --> 00:57:18,462 Listen, I managed to wrangle a few days' leave last minute. 992 00:57:18,519 --> 00:57:22,982 The Lions Of England are without their chief Kingsman till New Year's! 993 00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:27,194 We bumped into him on the way home, 994 00:57:27,278 --> 00:57:29,905 just in time for Christmas Eve games! 995 00:57:29,989 --> 00:57:31,574 Christmas Steve games! 996 00:57:31,657 --> 00:57:34,535 Now when H gets back, Steve will be waiting for her! 997 00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:36,829 - I mean, it's perfect. - Perfect. 998 00:57:36,912 --> 00:57:38,706 Wait, who is... who is Steve? 999 00:57:39,874 --> 00:57:41,834 You? Who are you? 1000 00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:45,588 You must be the mysterious visitor I've heard so much about. Puffer Jacket? 1001 00:57:45,754 --> 00:57:47,256 Yeah. It's Gilet. 1002 00:57:47,339 --> 00:57:49,383 Here you go, Steve-O. Stick that one on. 1003 00:57:50,176 --> 00:57:53,721 - I'm not too sure this'll fit anymore. - Been hitting the gym. 1004 00:57:53,804 --> 00:57:55,306 Fiancé? 1005 00:57:55,389 --> 00:57:57,016 Surely Hayley told you about Steve? 1006 00:57:57,099 --> 00:57:58,267 No. 1007 00:57:59,101 --> 00:58:00,895 No, she-she didn't. 1008 00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:02,313 Funnily enough. 1009 00:58:02,396 --> 00:58:04,273 Yeah, that is funny. 1010 00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:07,985 Yeah, yeah, erm... 1011 00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:09,778 Very funny. 1012 00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:12,865 You alright, Gilet? 1013 00:58:12,948 --> 00:58:14,668 You look like you've swallowed another coin. 1014 00:58:17,203 --> 00:58:18,787 Are you sure you're engaged? 1015 00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:24,335 Just a bit, mate. 1016 00:58:26,086 --> 00:58:29,465 Well, um... congratulations. 1017 00:58:29,548 --> 00:58:31,383 Yeah, you're right, Geoff. 1018 00:58:31,467 --> 00:58:32,551 He is a bit weird. 1019 00:58:32,635 --> 00:58:34,053 You're telling me! 1020 00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:37,282 - I've got to... I've got to go. - What, get ready for games night? 1021 00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:38,474 No... 1022 00:58:39,266 --> 00:58:41,018 - I've just really gotta go. - What? 1023 00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:44,605 Well, you can't go now. I've just sorted the teams! 1024 00:58:44,688 --> 00:58:47,274 You're with me and the olds. Steve, you're with this lot. 1025 00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:52,321 - Let the battle commence! - Hey-hey-hey! 1026 00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,990 I hate games night. 1027 00:59:02,706 --> 00:59:04,458 Mr Hughes! You're back. 1028 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:06,877 Wait. 1029 00:59:06,961 --> 00:59:08,796 What are you doing in there? 1030 00:59:09,380 --> 00:59:11,924 That room is strictly out of bounds! 1031 00:59:13,217 --> 00:59:15,886 Oh, Mr Hughes, erm, wait a minute. Sorry, I just need to tell... 1032 00:59:25,187 --> 00:59:26,689 Did you do this? 1033 00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:27,773 Mmm. 1034 00:59:31,193 --> 00:59:32,736 Why did you do this? 1035 00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:34,738 I just thought I'd surprise you. 1036 00:59:34,822 --> 00:59:37,574 Like I said, every home should have a tree at Christmas. 1037 00:59:39,910 --> 00:59:41,328 Where's Peanut? 1038 00:59:41,412 --> 00:59:44,832 Okay, so that was something I wanted to talk to you about. 1039 00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:49,086 What are you doing down here? 1040 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,755 Right, well... 1041 00:59:54,008 --> 00:59:56,135 Why have you put a hat on my dog? 1042 00:59:56,218 --> 00:59:58,429 - Come here, boy. - Mr Hughes, let me explain. 1043 00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,306 What the bloody hell? 1044 01:00:00,389 --> 01:00:01,932 It's just a scratch. 1045 01:00:02,016 --> 01:00:04,476 - Let's have a look at it. - Shotgun went off. 1046 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,228 I was on his land, and it's my fault. 1047 01:00:06,312 --> 01:00:08,456 I don't want to hear it! Now just get out of my sight, both of you! 1048 01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,316 Alright, boy. 1049 01:00:10,983 --> 01:00:13,610 Let's get this silly bandage off, shall we? 1050 01:00:13,694 --> 01:00:16,405 - Mr Hughes... - How dare you put my dog in danger! 1051 01:00:16,488 --> 01:00:18,532 He's in shock, but he's alright. 1052 01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:20,242 I think you just need to chill out a bit. 1053 01:00:20,326 --> 01:00:21,994 Don't tell me to chill out! 1054 01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:25,748 You have no right to come into my house and start interfering! 1055 01:00:26,582 --> 01:00:29,710 Rearranging and touching her things! 1056 01:00:29,793 --> 01:00:31,795 Oh, Mr Hughes, I'm so sorry. I didn't think. 1057 01:00:31,879 --> 01:00:34,423 Well, you should have. Now just leave us alone! 1058 01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:40,429 Sorry, lad. 1059 01:00:57,196 --> 01:00:58,197 Okay. 1060 01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:11,835 Me and Hayley first hit it off behind a... 1061 01:01:11,919 --> 01:01:13,712 - Burger King! - Come on! 1062 01:01:13,796 --> 01:01:16,757 First holiday I came on with you guys. The best ever. 1063 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,468 Devon. No, uh, Greece. Wait! Spain! 1064 01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:21,053 ¡Si, Senorita! 1065 01:01:22,679 --> 01:01:24,765 - How good was that holiday? - Come on, come on! 1066 01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:26,368 Next one, next one, next one, next one! 1067 01:01:26,433 --> 01:01:28,143 I smashed my PB at this last year. 1068 01:01:28,227 --> 01:01:29,228 - Iron Man! - Yes! 1069 01:01:32,272 --> 01:01:33,774 Go on! 1070 01:01:33,857 --> 01:01:35,484 Of course, he's done an Iron Man. 1071 01:01:36,068 --> 01:01:38,529 What you ever done, eh, Puffer Jacket? 1072 01:01:38,612 --> 01:01:39,947 A feather man? 1073 01:01:41,323 --> 01:01:42,699 A sponge boy? 1074 01:01:44,535 --> 01:01:46,912 I'm only messing with you, lad. 1075 01:01:46,995 --> 01:01:48,497 Listen, you're up. 1076 01:01:48,580 --> 01:01:50,666 You're gonna be with... 1077 01:01:53,127 --> 01:01:54,128 Nan. 1078 01:01:54,211 --> 01:01:55,212 Right! 1079 01:01:55,337 --> 01:01:57,589 - Okay. - Come on, Mum, here we go! 1080 01:02:01,135 --> 01:02:02,344 Go! 1081 01:02:02,428 --> 01:02:04,555 Swedish band. Eurovision. 1082 01:02:09,184 --> 01:02:10,185 Nan? 1083 01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:12,980 Coldplay? 1084 01:02:14,940 --> 01:02:17,067 'Waterloo'? 'Dancing Queen'? 1085 01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:19,528 I've said Coldplay! 1086 01:02:20,737 --> 01:02:21,738 'Mamma Mia'. 1087 01:02:23,407 --> 01:02:24,616 Come on, think about it! 1088 01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:26,452 Time! 1089 01:02:26,535 --> 01:02:27,786 - Unbelievable. - Yes! 1090 01:02:27,870 --> 01:02:30,122 I bloody hate Coldplay. 1091 01:02:31,874 --> 01:02:35,627 And that's another big fat zero for Puffer Jacket. 1092 01:02:35,711 --> 01:02:37,754 Call me Puffer Jacket one more time! 1093 01:02:37,838 --> 01:02:40,966 - Ohh! - Gilet, it's only Christmas games. 1094 01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:43,886 - This has been going on all night. - What are you gonna do about it? 1095 01:02:45,554 --> 01:02:46,805 Puffer Jacket! 1096 01:02:48,098 --> 01:02:50,517 I don't know, Steve. 1097 01:02:52,311 --> 01:02:53,896 Maybe we should take it outside? 1098 01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:55,772 - Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! - Boys, boys! 1099 01:02:55,856 --> 01:02:58,317 Boys, boys! There's not going to be a fight. 1100 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,486 - Batter him, Steve! - Mum! 1101 01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:03,238 Gilet, that's the cider talking, right? 1102 01:03:03,322 --> 01:03:06,492 - No offence but Steve here... - In the army, yes, I gathered. 1103 01:03:07,826 --> 01:03:13,123 Well, I've got level two stage combat, so bring it on. 1104 01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:17,711 That's the landline. 1105 01:03:18,462 --> 01:03:20,756 Nobody ever rings the landline. 1106 01:03:24,051 --> 01:03:25,802 - Hello? - Hey, Mum. 1107 01:03:25,886 --> 01:03:27,387 Oh, it's Hayley! 1108 01:03:28,555 --> 01:03:30,390 Hayley, love, where are you? 1109 01:03:30,474 --> 01:03:33,727 - Don't worry, Mum. I'm on my way home. - Oh, thank God for that! 1110 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:35,270 Are you... 1111 01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:36,855 Are you playing games? 1112 01:03:36,939 --> 01:03:39,942 You know us, love. Christmas Eve games. 1113 01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:42,528 I'm so sorry I'm not home yet, Mum. 1114 01:03:42,611 --> 01:03:44,780 - It's not your fault, love. - No, it is. 1115 01:03:44,863 --> 01:03:46,532 I thought I was... 1116 01:03:47,574 --> 01:03:49,326 I don't know what I thought. 1117 01:03:49,409 --> 01:03:51,429 But believe me, Mum, there is nowhere else in the world 1118 01:03:51,453 --> 01:03:53,747 that I would rather be than at home with you. 1119 01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:55,499 I know, love, I know. 1120 01:03:55,582 --> 01:03:59,294 And there is somebody else here who can't wait to see you! 1121 01:03:59,378 --> 01:04:01,004 I'll pass you on to him! 1122 01:04:01,630 --> 01:04:02,714 James? 1123 01:04:02,798 --> 01:04:04,591 Guess again! 1124 01:04:04,675 --> 01:04:07,344 Steve?! What the hell are you doing there? 1125 01:04:07,427 --> 01:04:08,971 I can't wait to see you too, darling. 1126 01:04:09,054 --> 01:04:11,139 We're through. We're through. I told you months ago. 1127 01:04:11,223 --> 01:04:13,117 Yeah, well, your family don't know that, do they? 1128 01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:14,518 How much she's missing you. 1129 01:04:14,601 --> 01:04:16,937 - Aww. - I was waiting to tell them. 1130 01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:18,248 Anyway, that is none of your business. 1131 01:04:18,272 --> 01:04:19,290 You're not supposed to be there at all, 1132 01:04:19,314 --> 01:04:20,649 you massive weirdo! 1133 01:04:20,732 --> 01:04:21,900 Yeah. Yeah. 1134 01:04:21,984 --> 01:04:24,444 Oh, God! Is James still there? 1135 01:04:24,528 --> 01:04:27,030 - Let me talk to her. - I've met James. Yeah. 1136 01:04:27,114 --> 01:04:28,782 - Lovely fella. - Let me speak to her. 1137 01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:31,785 Steve, get out of there now, you freak. You've got no right! 1138 01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:34,371 - This isn't fair. Steve... - She had to go. 1139 01:04:35,122 --> 01:04:37,207 - I want to talk to her. - You can't. 1140 01:04:37,291 --> 01:04:39,209 - Yes, I can. - No, you can't. 1141 01:04:39,293 --> 01:04:40,544 Yes, I can! 1142 01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:42,921 I'm telling you, you can't! 1143 01:04:43,005 --> 01:04:44,631 - Geoff! - Hey! 1144 01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:47,634 - She's my girlfriend! - No, she's mine! 1145 01:04:47,718 --> 01:04:50,053 - Not... now! - Gilet! 1146 01:04:54,850 --> 01:04:56,852 At least, I thought she was mine. 1147 01:04:58,437 --> 01:05:00,606 - What? - Why else do you think I'm here? 1148 01:05:00,689 --> 01:05:02,774 I didn't miss my train. 1149 01:05:03,775 --> 01:05:06,528 I came to spend Christmas with the girl I love. 1150 01:05:06,612 --> 01:05:08,822 - Hang on, you said you were... - I'm not gay! 1151 01:05:10,741 --> 01:05:12,534 I'm just a really good actor. 1152 01:05:12,618 --> 01:05:14,453 What about Ronaldo? 1153 01:05:14,536 --> 01:05:17,539 Next thing he'll be telling us he's not called Gilet. 1154 01:05:17,623 --> 01:05:20,792 I'm not called Gilet! My name's Hubert. 1155 01:05:20,876 --> 01:05:23,295 Then who the bloody hell is James? 1156 01:05:23,378 --> 01:05:26,089 - Dad! - I told you they were shagging. 1157 01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:28,216 - Mum! - No, she would've told me. 1158 01:05:28,300 --> 01:05:30,969 - She tells me everything! - Or maybe she doesn't. 1159 01:05:31,887 --> 01:05:34,056 Maybe she's not your little girl anymore. 1160 01:05:35,349 --> 01:05:37,309 And maybe she has got a tattoo. 1161 01:05:39,019 --> 01:05:42,230 Well... if you're so bloody in love with her, 1162 01:05:42,314 --> 01:05:43,899 why did you leave her in London? 1163 01:05:43,982 --> 01:05:45,651 She's not in London. 1164 01:05:45,734 --> 01:05:48,487 - She's in Kemble at my house. - What? 1165 01:05:48,570 --> 01:05:50,155 She chose not to come here. 1166 01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:53,760 And I thought it was because she wanted to spend Christmas with me, 1167 01:05:53,784 --> 01:05:57,245 but seeing as she's marrying Private Plonker here, 1168 01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:00,248 maybe she just wanted to get away from you lot and all this madness. 1169 01:06:03,377 --> 01:06:05,087 I'm actually a Lance Corporal. 1170 01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:07,798 I don't care if you're the Grand Old Duke Of York! 1171 01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:10,884 All I know is I've been made to do an awful lot of lying, 1172 01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:13,887 and I've been lied to an awful lot and I've had enough, and I'm going home. 1173 01:06:33,615 --> 01:06:35,575 I'll put the kettle on. 1174 01:06:42,541 --> 01:06:43,583 Steve! 1175 01:06:43,667 --> 01:06:45,502 And you said you couldn't trust me? 1176 01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:46,461 James, I need you to listen to me. 1177 01:06:46,545 --> 01:06:48,380 Do you have any idea how humiliated I feel. 1178 01:06:48,463 --> 01:06:50,590 Are you not even gonna let me talk? 1179 01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:52,843 Iris was right. Like father like son, innit? 1180 01:06:52,926 --> 01:06:55,595 You know what, maybe you were right. Maybe we don't know each other. 1181 01:06:56,471 --> 01:06:58,974 I'd say we should split up, but it turns out... 1182 01:06:59,057 --> 01:07:00,142 Hello? 1183 01:07:00,225 --> 01:07:01,435 James! 1184 01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:02,769 Hayley? 1185 01:07:05,689 --> 01:07:06,815 Hello? 1186 01:07:09,317 --> 01:07:11,862 Can you hear me? Bloody landlines! 1187 01:07:14,406 --> 01:07:16,533 Ho ho ho! 1188 01:07:16,616 --> 01:07:19,453 Merry Christmas...! 1189 01:07:23,874 --> 01:07:29,880 ♪ Just a lonely, lonely Christmas ♪ 1190 01:07:31,798 --> 01:07:37,804 ♪ What a glad one it would be ♪ 1191 01:07:39,681 --> 01:07:44,227 ♪ If only my lover ♪ 1192 01:07:47,898 --> 01:07:53,904 ♪ Would come back to me ♪ 1193 01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:58,408 ♪ Seems like she's been gone ♪ 1194 01:07:58,492 --> 01:08:03,330 ♪ A thousand years ♪ 1195 01:08:03,830 --> 01:08:09,836 ♪ As the days and nights roll by ♪ 1196 01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:17,301 ♪ Oh, yes, she's gone away ♪ 1197 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:25,352 ♪ Oh, tell me why... ♪ 1198 01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:30,148 Ohh. I'm sorry, sir. 1199 01:08:30,232 --> 01:08:32,125 I'm not used to this room being occupied. I just... 1200 01:08:32,149 --> 01:08:34,152 No, no, please, come in. 1201 01:08:39,658 --> 01:08:41,368 She saved them all. 1202 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:45,162 The theatre programmes from his school plays. 1203 01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:49,876 Yes, I... I remember her talking about how good he was. 1204 01:08:52,504 --> 01:08:56,591 I didn't make one performance with Fiona, and then afterwards... 1205 01:09:00,220 --> 01:09:02,430 I couldn't face it on my own. 1206 01:09:04,390 --> 01:09:07,060 There's so much I haven't been able to do without her. 1207 01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:12,148 All our plans for the estate, for the... 1208 01:09:14,901 --> 01:09:16,903 She was irrepressible, Iris. 1209 01:09:16,987 --> 01:09:19,281 So full of life, full of hope. 1210 01:09:25,662 --> 01:09:29,374 Every Christmas Eve, I go and stand by her grave. 1211 01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,794 She isn't there. 1212 01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:36,131 She's in here. 1213 01:09:37,424 --> 01:09:38,841 In this room. 1214 01:09:43,596 --> 01:09:45,599 Forgotten how beautiful it is. 1215 01:09:47,809 --> 01:09:49,060 Well... 1216 01:09:50,020 --> 01:09:55,066 all it needed was for somebody to come along and let a bit of light in. 1217 01:09:56,776 --> 01:09:59,362 You know, you and Hubert are not that different. 1218 01:10:00,822 --> 01:10:03,491 You're both drawn towards the same sort of person. 1219 01:10:05,368 --> 01:10:08,872 I think the least you can do is go upstairs and talk to her, don't you? 1220 01:11:16,439 --> 01:11:17,524 Sorry. 1221 01:11:19,401 --> 01:11:21,403 I was wondering when you'd notice. 1222 01:11:24,531 --> 01:11:26,324 Well, I should... 1223 01:11:28,576 --> 01:11:30,412 You any good at wrapping? 1224 01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:38,837 I always thought Steve was a bit of a knob, truth be told. 1225 01:11:39,504 --> 01:11:43,258 But you put a brave face on things when your daughter says she likes someone. 1226 01:11:43,341 --> 01:11:45,677 Find us the end of that, will you, mate? 1227 01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,053 Ta. 1228 01:11:47,137 --> 01:11:49,597 After you left, he burst into tears. 1229 01:11:50,849 --> 01:11:54,060 Said Hayley had split up with him just before she went to London, 1230 01:11:54,144 --> 01:11:55,895 but was afraid to tell her mum. 1231 01:11:55,979 --> 01:11:56,980 Unbelievable. 1232 01:11:57,105 --> 01:12:00,025 I've got to admit, I'm relieved. 1233 01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:02,277 Kath was upset, mind. 1234 01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:05,989 Took herself off to bed before the end of Muppets Christmas Carol. 1235 01:12:06,698 --> 01:12:08,158 Was she fond of Steve? 1236 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:11,327 He was stationed away most of the time, so we never saw that much of him. 1237 01:12:11,411 --> 01:12:14,998 Can you just stick your finger there? 1238 01:12:19,210 --> 01:12:22,756 I think it's more the fact that she couldn't face losing her little girl. 1239 01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:26,885 If Hayley's with Steve... 1240 01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:28,863 then there's a chance that she might come back here 1241 01:12:28,887 --> 01:12:31,181 and build a life for herself, you know? 1242 01:12:31,264 --> 01:12:33,767 Not down there in that hell hole with the likes of you. 1243 01:12:34,726 --> 01:12:36,644 I guess that's why she didn't say anything. 1244 01:12:46,071 --> 01:12:47,572 Oh... erm... 1245 01:12:50,617 --> 01:12:52,660 - Give it here, Geoff. - Yeah, thanks, mate. 1246 01:12:57,040 --> 01:12:58,583 Pigs ear of that. 1247 01:13:00,794 --> 01:13:02,879 I always used to love doing the wrapping with my mum. 1248 01:13:05,840 --> 01:13:07,467 When did you lose her? 1249 01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:09,385 It's four years now. 1250 01:13:10,887 --> 01:13:13,848 - Four years to the day. - Oh, I'm sorry, fella. 1251 01:13:17,268 --> 01:13:19,270 We'd just run out of cranberry sauce... 1252 01:13:20,438 --> 01:13:24,984 and my mum insisted on doing a last-minute drive to the shops. 1253 01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:29,447 She hit some black ice at a junction, and that was that. 1254 01:13:35,328 --> 01:13:39,541 I can still see her heading out the door saying, 'I'll be right back.' 1255 01:13:41,251 --> 01:13:42,919 And she never was. 1256 01:13:43,002 --> 01:13:44,629 Oh, mate. 1257 01:13:47,090 --> 01:13:49,717 Well, it's been 15 years now for me with my dad. 1258 01:13:50,677 --> 01:13:52,929 I wish I could say it goes away, but... 1259 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:54,931 never really does. 1260 01:13:56,099 --> 01:13:57,725 Especially at Christmas. 1261 01:14:00,311 --> 01:14:04,065 After it happened, I wanted to stick around, but... 1262 01:14:05,275 --> 01:14:08,153 my dad sent me straight back to boarding school, 1263 01:14:08,236 --> 01:14:10,238 and the whole house sort of shut down. 1264 01:14:12,407 --> 01:14:15,451 By the time I left, he... he wouldn't even look me in the eye. 1265 01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,998 I started to feel like I'd lost both my parents. 1266 01:14:24,752 --> 01:14:29,591 The truth is, as much as I wanted to be here with Hayley... 1267 01:14:31,926 --> 01:14:37,140 an even bigger part of me just wanted a proper family Christmas again. 1268 01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:42,312 If only it were that simple, eh? 1269 01:14:43,730 --> 01:14:46,024 I'd be straight round the Dillons' up the road. 1270 01:14:46,107 --> 01:14:48,026 They have a 'tur-duck-en'. 1271 01:14:49,068 --> 01:14:53,239 A duck in a turkey in a goose! 1272 01:14:54,908 --> 01:14:56,951 But that's the ball ache, isn't it, eh? 1273 01:14:57,035 --> 01:14:59,287 You don't get to choose your family. 1274 01:15:01,164 --> 01:15:03,917 But for my money, those Christmases 1275 01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:06,544 when there's only a chicken for dinner... 1276 01:15:08,087 --> 01:15:11,049 they're normally the most important Christmases of all. 1277 01:15:15,803 --> 01:15:17,430 Oh, bugger! 1278 01:15:17,513 --> 01:15:19,807 I forgot to drop off the Dillons' tur-duck-en! 1279 01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:25,563 Cheers! 1280 01:15:26,314 --> 01:15:27,315 Cheers. 1281 01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:35,698 Find her, boy! 1282 01:15:35,782 --> 01:15:37,033 Find her! 1283 01:15:53,424 --> 01:15:56,886 Good boy! Peanut! Good boy! 1284 01:15:58,263 --> 01:15:59,597 Good boy! 1285 01:16:03,601 --> 01:16:04,727 Here! 1286 01:16:07,105 --> 01:16:09,482 It's a good job that dog can't get enough of you, eh? 1287 01:16:09,565 --> 01:16:12,277 Now, come on. 1288 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,320 Let's get you back in the warm. 1289 01:16:15,863 --> 01:16:16,948 Right. 1290 01:16:23,413 --> 01:16:25,623 Come on, Peanut. Home, boy! 1291 01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:51,941 Morning, dear. 1292 01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:53,943 Meet me outside in five. 1293 01:16:54,027 --> 01:16:55,467 There's something I want to show you. 1294 01:16:55,987 --> 01:16:58,197 Oh... and Merry Christmas! 1295 01:17:20,595 --> 01:17:24,349 As Santa said to Rudolph, 'Let's ride!' 1296 01:17:24,432 --> 01:17:27,143 - Amazing. - I can't see a bloody thing in these. 1297 01:17:27,852 --> 01:17:31,314 Right in you hop, Gilet. Your chariot awaits. 1298 01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:32,648 Thank you! 1299 01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:34,679 Where do you think you're going? 1300 01:17:34,734 --> 01:17:35,777 Eh? 1301 01:17:36,861 --> 01:17:38,905 Oh, I'll be back in time for turkey, love. 1302 01:17:38,988 --> 01:17:40,865 Geoff, it's Christmas morning! 1303 01:17:40,948 --> 01:17:42,784 We've spent enough time apart as a family. 1304 01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:44,118 Now, Kath, listen... 1305 01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:47,538 You go, we all go! 1306 01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:51,292 Boys, come on! 1307 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,465 Now, don't worry about the snow. I've modified the van. 1308 01:17:58,674 --> 01:18:00,093 Oh, shit! 1309 01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:02,303 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪ 1310 01:18:03,513 --> 01:18:06,933 ♪ O'er the fields we go ♪ 1311 01:18:07,558 --> 01:18:11,437 ♪ Laughing all the way ♪ 1312 01:18:12,814 --> 01:18:17,443 ♪ Bells on bob-tails ring, yeah! ♪ 1313 01:18:17,527 --> 01:18:21,072 ♪ Making spirits bright ♪ 1314 01:18:22,031 --> 01:18:26,369 ♪ What fun it is to ride and sing ♪ 1315 01:18:26,452 --> 01:18:29,205 ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪ 1316 01:18:29,288 --> 01:18:30,748 Oh, my God! 1317 01:18:30,832 --> 01:18:33,960 ♪ I said, jingle bells! ♪ 1318 01:18:34,043 --> 01:18:36,379 ♪ Jingle bells ♪ 1319 01:18:36,462 --> 01:18:39,924 ♪ Jingle all the way! ♪ 1320 01:18:40,007 --> 01:18:42,552 Flipping Nora, Gilet! You're loaded. 1321 01:18:43,678 --> 01:18:45,513 Hello, dear boy! 1322 01:18:45,596 --> 01:18:47,390 - Iris! - Oh, my goodness! 1323 01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,475 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! 1324 01:18:49,559 --> 01:18:51,644 How are you? 1325 01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:56,441 Everyone, this is Iris. She's our housekeeper. 1326 01:18:57,066 --> 01:18:58,484 Really loaded! 1327 01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:02,613 - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Oh, yeah. 1328 01:19:02,697 --> 01:19:06,451 Hayley plays her cards right, she'll pull off a proper Meghan Markle. 1329 01:19:06,534 --> 01:19:09,871 - I'm sorry I'm not dressed yet. - Is Dad up? 1330 01:19:09,954 --> 01:19:11,789 And where's Hayley? 1331 01:19:12,373 --> 01:19:14,208 Erm... 1332 01:19:14,292 --> 01:19:15,835 how can I put this? 1333 01:19:18,004 --> 01:19:20,381 Bloody Macclesfield! 1334 01:19:21,883 --> 01:19:25,011 Bloody Christmas Day! 1335 01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:30,975 Bloody ten-hour round trip in the bloody snow! 1336 01:19:31,058 --> 01:19:34,395 Still can't believe you persuaded him to do this. 1337 01:19:34,479 --> 01:19:36,981 Well, the upside of someone shooting your dog 1338 01:19:37,064 --> 01:19:39,650 is that they then owe you a very big favour. 1339 01:19:43,029 --> 01:19:44,572 Mr Hughes... 1340 01:19:44,655 --> 01:19:47,116 Please... Humphrey. 1341 01:19:49,202 --> 01:19:50,620 Humphrey. 1342 01:19:50,912 --> 01:19:53,664 I'm sorry for overstepping the mark. I just... 1343 01:19:54,248 --> 01:19:55,583 wasn't thinking. 1344 01:19:56,334 --> 01:19:58,377 And I'm really sorry Peanut got injured. 1345 01:19:59,337 --> 01:20:02,340 Well, I'm sorry if I overreacted. 1346 01:20:04,717 --> 01:20:09,555 Peanut was my wife's dog and... well, I lost her, and... 1347 01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:15,728 Since then, he's become the biggest part of her I have left. 1348 01:20:17,438 --> 01:20:20,107 James didn't really tell me that much about his mum 1349 01:20:20,191 --> 01:20:23,110 but... sounds like she was a really special person. 1350 01:20:25,029 --> 01:20:27,573 And he didn't tell me much about you either, to be fair. 1351 01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:33,079 I think what we had helped him escape a lot of things. 1352 01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:34,705 What you had? 1353 01:20:35,706 --> 01:20:37,750 Looks that way, yeah. 1354 01:20:40,336 --> 01:20:42,213 And I know it's not my place to say, 1355 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:45,925 but surely the biggest part of her that you've got left isn't Peanut. 1356 01:20:48,094 --> 01:20:49,136 It's James. 1357 01:20:52,848 --> 01:20:54,058 Hubert. 1358 01:20:54,642 --> 01:20:55,893 Hubert. 1359 01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:01,190 What? 1360 01:21:01,274 --> 01:21:04,360 What is wrong? Whoa, whoa! Steady girl on, old girl! 1361 01:21:04,443 --> 01:21:05,486 Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! 1362 01:21:18,624 --> 01:21:21,919 Good night, my beautiful girl. 1363 01:21:23,337 --> 01:21:26,340 You were the only one I had left to talk to. 1364 01:21:28,467 --> 01:21:32,763 Well, you could always come up to the house and talk to me. 1365 01:21:32,847 --> 01:21:34,473 No, thank you. 1366 01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:37,143 I know where I'm not welcome. 1367 01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:39,937 It's not my house anymore. 1368 01:21:40,021 --> 01:21:41,647 Oh, here we go again. 1369 01:21:41,731 --> 01:21:46,152 What kind of a son throws his own father out on the streets 1370 01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:49,447 to avoid a little inheritance tax? 1371 01:21:49,530 --> 01:21:51,365 I didn't throw you out. 1372 01:21:51,449 --> 01:21:53,200 You chose to leave. 1373 01:21:53,284 --> 01:21:56,203 And as far as being 'out on the street' is concerned... 1374 01:21:56,287 --> 01:21:59,332 Hang on a minute! You're father and son? 1375 01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:02,877 Only when His Grace isn't playing at being Worzel Gummidge. 1376 01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:07,256 And only when His Lordship's not being a selfish arsehole. 1377 01:22:07,340 --> 01:22:08,591 Ah. 1378 01:22:08,674 --> 01:22:11,510 Yeah, yeah. I guess I can see the similarities. 1379 01:22:14,555 --> 01:22:16,557 I don't think that was called for, do you? 1380 01:22:16,641 --> 01:22:17,892 Well, no... 1381 01:22:20,645 --> 01:22:23,230 And I thought my family were weird, Peanut. 1382 01:22:25,900 --> 01:22:28,569 Looks like I'm not going home for Christmas after all. 1383 01:22:35,826 --> 01:22:37,286 Is that... 1384 01:22:41,332 --> 01:22:42,625 Oh, my God, no way. 1385 01:22:42,708 --> 01:22:44,794 No way, no way! 1386 01:22:45,628 --> 01:22:47,588 Dad! 1387 01:22:47,672 --> 01:22:51,008 Well, what the bloody hell are you lot doing out here? 1388 01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:57,348 - I can't believe it! - Iris? 1389 01:22:57,431 --> 01:22:59,016 Mum! 1390 01:23:00,893 --> 01:23:02,853 I'm so sorry about Steve. 1391 01:23:02,937 --> 01:23:05,189 You seemed so happy. I just didn't want to let you down. 1392 01:23:05,272 --> 01:23:06,691 No. 1393 01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:09,276 Never mind me. We've got plenty of time for that later. 1394 01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:12,863 I don't think I'm the one that you need to be saying sorry to. 1395 01:23:20,746 --> 01:23:21,747 So... 1396 01:23:22,623 --> 01:23:23,708 So. 1397 01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:30,548 - Shall we just, erm... - Yeah. 1398 01:23:41,308 --> 01:23:42,518 Hi. 1399 01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:43,602 Hi. 1400 01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:48,607 Shall we... 1401 01:23:49,859 --> 01:23:51,193 Shall we just start again? 1402 01:23:53,946 --> 01:23:57,032 I'm Hubert James Manningham-Hughes. 1403 01:23:57,783 --> 01:24:00,035 307th in line to the throne. 1404 01:24:00,995 --> 01:24:04,457 I'm Haylo the Street Witch. 1405 01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:07,251 First in line for this Mr Whippy van. 1406 01:24:10,588 --> 01:24:13,048 Look, about Steve... 1407 01:24:13,132 --> 01:24:16,427 - You don't have to apologise. - No, but I do want you to understand. 1408 01:24:16,510 --> 01:24:18,471 I understand. 1409 01:24:20,556 --> 01:24:23,476 I live with lots of family expectations too. 1410 01:24:26,020 --> 01:24:29,273 And I'm sorry... that I lied. 1411 01:24:29,356 --> 01:24:30,441 I was... 1412 01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:33,879 just having so much fun with you, I didn't want to scare you off. 1413 01:24:33,903 --> 01:24:35,946 Well, I don't scare that easily. 1414 01:24:36,906 --> 01:24:38,282 I nearly got shot by your granddad! 1415 01:24:39,617 --> 01:24:43,621 Well, I was mugged by your brothers, 1416 01:24:43,704 --> 01:24:46,332 groped by your aunt, and choked by your nan. 1417 01:24:46,415 --> 01:24:47,500 So... 1418 01:24:48,667 --> 01:24:51,045 let's just say it's been a real pleasure getting to know you 1419 01:24:51,128 --> 01:24:53,047 since the last time we were together. 1420 01:24:54,215 --> 01:24:55,925 You too. 1421 01:24:58,010 --> 01:25:00,721 And I would love to get to know you even more. 1422 01:25:02,389 --> 01:25:05,851 Well... you... will. 1423 01:25:24,870 --> 01:25:27,206 Here they come, eh? The love birds. 1424 01:25:28,666 --> 01:25:31,460 Right. The troops need to be fed. 1425 01:25:31,544 --> 01:25:35,047 Oh, yes, there's plenty of food in the larder back at the house. 1426 01:25:35,130 --> 01:25:36,757 And I don't know about anyone else, 1427 01:25:36,841 --> 01:25:39,510 but I could certainly do with some mulled wine. 1428 01:25:39,593 --> 01:25:41,887 Well, I'm more of a spiced rum man myself. 1429 01:25:45,266 --> 01:25:46,809 Oh, God, wait a minute! 1430 01:25:46,892 --> 01:25:47,977 What? 1431 01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,353 Nan! 1432 01:25:52,273 --> 01:25:54,525 Where the bloody hell is everyone? 1433 01:25:57,820 --> 01:26:01,198 - ♪ Christmas ♪ - ♪ The snow's coming down ♪ 1434 01:26:01,282 --> 01:26:02,491 ♪ Christmas... ♪ 1435 01:26:02,575 --> 01:26:05,661 - Get him, get him, get him! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys! 1436 01:26:05,744 --> 01:26:07,538 - Boys! - Take it outside! 1437 01:26:08,581 --> 01:26:10,249 Give us a hand there will you, Dad? 1438 01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:13,210 No! No chores for me this year, remember? 1439 01:26:14,378 --> 01:26:17,423 - Where's your colander? - Up there, that top cupboard up there. 1440 01:26:18,924 --> 01:26:20,217 Christ Almighty! 1441 01:26:20,301 --> 01:26:23,554 Yeah, don't ask. Every single year, every single year! 1442 01:26:23,637 --> 01:26:25,097 You can't have enough colanders! 1443 01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:27,141 Well, they're lively, aren't they? 1444 01:26:27,224 --> 01:26:28,726 Watch out! 1445 01:26:30,060 --> 01:26:31,520 Get out my way! Move! 1446 01:26:31,604 --> 01:26:32,605 So... 1447 01:26:33,314 --> 01:26:35,774 Are you going to avoid me all day? 1448 01:26:43,782 --> 01:26:45,534 I'm... I'm sorry... 1449 01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:50,456 I... I can't be the hero that you are. 1450 01:26:52,333 --> 01:26:54,460 And I know what you've taught me about duty... 1451 01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:57,212 Well, if you know that, then you should know how easy it is 1452 01:26:57,296 --> 01:26:59,965 for me to have you reinstated at Sandhurst next term 1453 01:27:00,049 --> 01:27:02,676 and have your accounts and assets frozen 1454 01:27:02,760 --> 01:27:04,678 until you receive your officer's commission. 1455 01:27:04,762 --> 01:27:05,763 Dad! 1456 01:27:07,973 --> 01:27:10,476 But most of all you should know that... 1457 01:27:11,310 --> 01:27:15,856 I don't intend to do any of those things. 1458 01:27:17,816 --> 01:27:21,236 You see, you're not the only member of this family that can act. 1459 01:27:21,320 --> 01:27:24,156 I was a very fetching Lady Macbeth in my senior year. 1460 01:27:26,867 --> 01:27:31,914 There is only... one duty that I have 1461 01:27:31,997 --> 01:27:34,041 that matters to me... 1462 01:27:36,210 --> 01:27:41,215 and I have been neglecting that for some time. 1463 01:27:54,561 --> 01:27:56,241 Your mum would have been very proud of you. 1464 01:27:57,231 --> 01:27:59,900 I am... proud of you. 1465 01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:07,199 And I'll tell you something else, she would have absolutely loved her. 1466 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:11,829 Alright, everyone, grub's up! 1467 01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:15,499 Right, I've got the parsnips here. 1468 01:28:15,582 --> 01:28:17,459 Erm, go sit down the end. 1469 01:28:19,086 --> 01:28:20,713 Who are you again? 1470 01:28:22,464 --> 01:28:23,882 That smells good. 1471 01:28:23,966 --> 01:28:25,426 Here we go! 1472 01:28:25,509 --> 01:28:27,511 Make some room. 1473 01:28:27,594 --> 01:28:29,430 Oh, sorry about that. 1474 01:28:29,513 --> 01:28:32,391 A toast to friends and family, 1475 01:28:32,474 --> 01:28:35,060 old and new. 1476 01:28:35,144 --> 01:28:38,105 And to those no longer with us 1477 01:28:38,188 --> 01:28:40,274 who remain in our hearts forever. 1478 01:28:41,442 --> 01:28:43,235 - Cheers! - Cheers! 1479 01:28:43,318 --> 01:28:45,612 And to the Dillons' tur-duck-en! 1480 01:28:47,948 --> 01:28:49,408 Merry Christmas! 1481 01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,660 Merry Christmas! 1482 01:28:51,744 --> 01:28:54,747 - Merry Christmas, James. - I'm more of a goose man myself. 1483 01:28:54,830 --> 01:28:55,831 Oh, God. 1484 01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:58,101 - Get a drop of this down yer! - What do you say, Humph? 1485 01:28:58,125 --> 01:29:00,502 - New Year's Eve round yours? - Oh, yes! Why not? 1486 01:29:00,586 --> 01:29:02,379 Hey, hey! Good man! 1487 01:29:02,463 --> 01:29:04,214 I can show you my pomace. 1488 01:29:04,298 --> 01:29:06,759 And I'll show you my tattoo. 1489 01:29:10,596 --> 01:29:13,098 I do love you, James Hughes. 1490 01:29:14,558 --> 01:29:16,894 I love you, Hayley Taylor. 1491 01:29:16,977 --> 01:29:19,146 Wow! You're not blushing. 1492 01:29:19,229 --> 01:29:20,773 I know. 1493 01:29:20,856 --> 01:29:23,150 Hey, Merry Christmas. 1494 01:29:23,984 --> 01:29:25,402 Merry Christmas. 1495 01:29:26,195 --> 01:29:27,738 Right, everyone ready? 1496 01:29:27,821 --> 01:29:30,324 - It's on a timer. - Okay, let's go! 1497 01:29:30,407 --> 01:29:32,826 - Three, two... - Up we get! 1498 01:29:32,910 --> 01:29:33,911 One! 1499 01:29:33,994 --> 01:29:36,747 Merry Christmas! 1500 01:29:40,209 --> 01:29:43,253 ♪ Can we be together, babe? ♪ 1501 01:29:43,337 --> 01:29:46,632 ♪ Gingerbread and quiet towns ♪ 1502 01:29:46,715 --> 01:29:49,551 ♪ It's midnight and we're flying now ♪ 1503 01:29:49,635 --> 01:29:53,388 ♪ Slow dance in your parents' house ♪ 1504 01:29:53,472 --> 01:29:56,475 ♪ Together at last ♪ 1505 01:29:56,558 --> 01:29:59,144 ♪ Now you're back, I swear it's true ♪ 1506 01:29:59,228 --> 01:30:02,731 ♪ I'm never ever leaving you ♪ 1507 01:30:02,815 --> 01:30:06,235 ♪ Oh, this year till we're 82 ♪ 1508 01:30:06,318 --> 01:30:09,279 ♪ Christmas Day is ours ♪ 1509 01:30:09,363 --> 01:30:11,031 - ♪ Till it's time ♪ - ♪ It's time ♪ 1510 01:30:11,115 --> 01:30:12,699 - ♪ For goodbye ♪ - ♪ Goodbye ♪ 1511 01:30:12,783 --> 01:30:15,828 -♪ And we both run off into the night ♪ -♪ The night ♪ 1512 01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:18,539 ♪ And I hope ♪ 1513 01:30:19,373 --> 01:30:21,750 ♪ That you know ♪ 1514 01:30:22,918 --> 01:30:25,921 ♪ I wanna the deck the halls ♪ 1515 01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:29,299 ♪ Hang mistletoe around ya ♪ 1516 01:30:29,383 --> 01:30:32,511 ♪ So when I sing 'Last Christmas' ♪ 1517 01:30:32,594 --> 01:30:36,056 ♪ I hope it's my last without ya ♪ 1518 01:30:36,140 --> 01:30:39,393 ♪ So you should listen up ♪ 1519 01:30:39,476 --> 01:30:42,104 ♪ 'Cause this wish is about ya ♪ 1520 01:30:42,938 --> 01:30:45,357 ♪ Can we have forever ♪ 1521 01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:50,821 ♪ Or at least can we be together, babe For Christmas? ♪ 1522 01:30:52,406 --> 01:30:57,411 ♪ Or at least can we be together, babe For Christmas? ♪ 1523 01:31:06,128 --> 01:31:09,631 ♪ Can we be together, babe ♪ 1524 01:31:10,299 --> 01:31:16,138 ♪ Together, babe, for Christmas? ♪ 1525 01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:33,197 ♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪ 1526 01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:36,200 ♪ At the Christmas party hop ♪ 1527 01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:39,995 ♪ Mistletoe hung where you can see ♪ 1528 01:31:40,078 --> 01:31:42,789 ♪ Every couple tries to stop ♪ 1529 01:31:44,082 --> 01:31:46,835 ♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪ 1530 01:31:46,919 --> 01:31:49,796 ♪ Let the Christmas spirit ring ♪ 1531 01:31:50,839 --> 01:31:53,634 ♪ Later we'll have some pumpkin pie ♪ 1532 01:31:53,717 --> 01:31:56,303 ♪ And we'll do some carolling ♪ 1533 01:31:57,596 --> 01:32:02,184 ♪ You will get a sentimental feeling ♪ 1534 01:32:02,267 --> 01:32:04,311 ♪ When you hear ♪ 1535 01:32:04,394 --> 01:32:07,814 ♪ Voices singing, let's be jolly ♪ 1536 01:32:07,898 --> 01:32:11,151 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1537 01:32:11,235 --> 01:32:14,112 ♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪ 1538 01:32:14,446 --> 01:32:16,823 ♪ Have a happy holiday ♪ 1539 01:32:18,033 --> 01:32:20,827 ♪ Everyone dancing merrily ♪ 1540 01:32:20,911 --> 01:32:23,747 ♪ In the new old-fashioned way ♪ 1541 01:32:37,886 --> 01:32:42,975 ♪ Oh, you will get a sentimental feeling ♪ 1542 01:32:43,058 --> 01:32:45,018 ♪ When you hear ♪ 1543 01:32:45,102 --> 01:32:48,522 ♪ Voices singing, let's be jolly ♪ 1544 01:32:48,605 --> 01:32:51,984 ♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪ 1545 01:32:52,067 --> 01:32:54,945 ♪ Rockin' around the Christmas tree ♪ 1546 01:32:55,028 --> 01:32:57,572 ♪ Have a happy holiday ♪ 1547 01:32:58,949 --> 01:33:01,660 ♪ Everyone dancing merrily ♪ 1548 01:33:01,743 --> 01:33:07,708 ♪ In the new old-fashioned way ♪ 115625