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1
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,633
Previously, on "Rick and Morty"...
2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,552
Jerry, I had sex with your wife.
3
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,360
- Ohhh!
- I did it! I fixed portal travel!
4
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,590
Jack the Ripper, at your service.
5
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,304
- Cool!
- This happened too?
6
00:00:16,305 --> 00:00:19,186
- I'm pregnant.
- Honey, she's just like you!
7
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,105
- It's raining meatballs!
- Okay, something is...
8
00:00:21,106 --> 00:00:23,480
Jerry Smith died doing what he loved...
9
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,560
- getting stung by bees.
- Off.
10
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,260
Off what? Have some respect.
11
00:00:27,270 --> 00:00:28,530
It's Dad's funeral.
12
00:00:28,540 --> 00:00:30,440
I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr.
13
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:32,140
Thanks for solving that murder, guys.
14
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,959
- Here's a skateboard.
- Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk!
15
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,199
- Morty, say you'll marry me!
- What?
16
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,240
- What?
- Just say yes!
17
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:37,800
- Yes?
- Okay...
18
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,140
Rick, do you promise to...
19
00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,119
I do, and for our honeymoon
let's go to a sealed chamber
20
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,002
- lined with ionized deuterium!
- Why?
21
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,020
Because the charge acts
as a narrative decelerant.
22
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:46,280
Morty, none of this is real.
23
00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:48,560
We're in a "previously on"
spiral. Clear your head.
24
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:50,384
- After all that's happened?!
- No.
25
00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:51,400
I-I'm innocent!
26
00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:52,800
I didn't release those bees!
27
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:53,887
I love Jerry!
28
00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:55,580
- What'd I just say?
- When?
29
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,699
Okay, great execution.
30
00:00:56,700 --> 00:00:58,267
[BURPS] Let's go back to the chamber.
31
00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:01,100
Now repeat after me, Morty...
"Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
32
00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:02,800
Next time on "Rick and Morty"?
33
00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:04,860
No. Previously, on "Rick and Morty"...
34
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,260
Ignore it, Morty. "Next
time on 'Rick and Morty.'"
35
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,440
It counteracts his toxins.
36
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:09,780
Next time on "Rick and Morty."
37
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,947
- Whose toxins?
- PREVIOUS LEON: Hey, stop it!
38
00:01:11,950 --> 00:01:13,490
Previous Leon! Grab him!
39
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:14,520
[GRUNTING]
40
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:16,999
Hold on tight, Morty! We got to
get through the opening titles!
41
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,662
MORTY: Opening titles of what?
42
00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:20,819
- Whoa! We're in space!
- PREVIOUS LEON: Let go of me! Ow! Ow!
43
00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:23,530
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
44
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,169
MORTY: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
45
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:27,890
[GRUNTING]
46
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,520
What planet is this?
47
00:01:29,540 --> 00:01:30,710
Cover your eyes on this part.
48
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,885
RICK: Oh, my God, it's a giant squirrel!
49
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,387
Why are we dressed
like old-timey people?
50
00:01:35,390 --> 00:01:37,681
- What the hell's going on?
- No way!
51
00:01:37,690 --> 00:01:38,870
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
52
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,351
Why is my dad in a suit?
53
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,500
- RICK: Best episode!
- MORTY: Why am I butter?
54
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,870
Okay, we're almost through.
55
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,440
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
56
00:01:45,450 --> 00:01:46,910
♪ ♪
57
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,110
Ow!
58
00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:52,420
Ugh, and we're back!
59
00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:53,530
Stop!
60
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:55,000
- What just happened?
- Let go of me!
61
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,060
Why was there music?
62
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,280
Because of this conceptual
little piece of shit!
63
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:01,480
- Grab his feet!
- If we have opening titles,
64
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,110
d-does that mean that we're a...
65
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,260
Let your body purge the
meta-venom, Morty.
66
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,169
Don't succumb to his pointless
self-aware bullshit.
67
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,500
It's not pointless, it's cool!
68
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,280
- He's got a gun!
- Eat lead, pussy!
69
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,510
No, no, no!
70
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,636
Fuck!
71
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,060
Oh!
72
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,180
Son of a...
73
00:02:19,190 --> 00:02:20,610
- Did he use a portal?
- He wishes.
74
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:22,040
He wriggled back to the meta layer
75
00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:23,239
through a hole in the fourth wall.
76
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,820
Put these on and help me find it.
77
00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:28,309
- _
- I-I don't like this, Rick.
78
00:02:28,310 --> 00:02:30,440
Yeah, you shouldn't.
It's not a likable premise.
79
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,869
I mean it's funny when I do a
little nod to the viewers, but...
80
00:02:32,870 --> 00:02:34,909
- What viewers?!
- That's the right attitude, Morty.
81
00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:37,270
A few carefree verbal
asides, always by me.
82
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,480
None of this season-three
"Moonlighting" shit.
83
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,509
- Okay, here it is.
- You're going to... to patch it?
84
00:02:41,510 --> 00:02:43,640
No, he subverted actual reality, Morty.
85
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,860
[BURPS] He needs to be
put down like a rabid dog.
86
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:54,360
♪ ♪
87
00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:55,700
Ow! Fuck!
88
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,760
Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna
wear those over here.
89
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,359
_
90
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,850
Maybe he went down that road?
91
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:02,739
No, no, no. If he took that,
he'd end up a hero.
92
00:03:02,740 --> 00:03:04,520
Damn it, Rick. I don't like this.
93
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,750
I-Is this whole place just...
94
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,220
A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay
95
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,340
for seven TV critics that
won't even enjoy it?
96
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,619
It's worse than you think, Morty.
97
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,443
We're basting in meta
radiation right now.
98
00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:14,360
Our credibility is being
permanently eroded.
99
00:03:14,370 --> 00:03:15,540
Every second we spend here
100
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,680
is the equivalent to 10
"Space Jam" cameos.
101
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:19,850
You should have thought
of that... previously!
102
00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:20,870
Get him!
103
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,412
♪ ♪
104
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:24,660
Ow! Ow!
105
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,470
Oh, no! Bless me, Heavenly
Father, for you will save me.
106
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,550
Now I feel bad. Let's
just get out of here.
107
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:32,580
Because he prays?
108
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:34,300
You know Hitler was Catholic, right?
109
00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:36,133
I'm here, Leon.
110
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:37,240
- Uhh...
- Okay.
111
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,460
He apparently prays very well.
112
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:41,380
Time for you two to meet the Lord.
113
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,409
That's okay, we're good.
Treat it like a bear attack.
114
00:03:43,410 --> 00:03:45,830
Just walk backwards and
make yourself look big.
115
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,780
I love a good refusal of the call.
116
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,560
Hello, Rick.
117
00:03:50,570 --> 00:03:52,600
Hello... Amish Juggler?
118
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:54,460
His name is Story Lord.
119
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,195
Story... Lord?
120
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,900
Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler.
121
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,520
- You can have it.
- Story Lord.
122
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,980
Rick, h-he's the villain from
that toy train I bought you.
123
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,060
Very good, Morty.
The fictional versions of you
124
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,980
trapped me in a Bible show for children,
125
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,440
but I used make-believe Christ
126
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,420
to transcend fiction
and enter meta-reality.
127
00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:12,980
Now I'm the one doing the trapping.
128
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,520
Leon was the bait.
129
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:15,890
- Bait?!
- Jesus?
130
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,716
Aaah!
131
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:18,990
Aah!
132
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,950
Don't ever...! Dumb mother...!
133
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:25,224
[GRUNTING]
134
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,720
You're using Jesus to beat us up?
135
00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:29,200
- Have you seen "South Park"?
- Good call-out, Morty.
136
00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:30,770
That's the kind of meta I like,
137
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:32,980
the kind that keeps us
creatively accountable.
138
00:04:32,990 --> 00:04:35,300
Oh, God. Not the Bane. Not the Bane!
139
00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:39,530
He Baned me, Morty. Oh, Jesus Baned me.
140
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,479
Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm... I'm...
141
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,992
I'm technically a Christian child!
142
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,130
And I'm your worst nightmare.
143
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,400
I'm the Jesus from every Jesus joke.
144
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:52,000
- The one without a God.
- Morty! Take this and get out!
145
00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:53,540
Thank you.
146
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,090
Looks like Story Lord's
story is about to become...
147
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:57,756
based on real events.
148
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:58,809
What do you want with that?
149
00:04:58,810 --> 00:05:00,759
I want what any character wants.
150
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,052
Motivation!
151
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,555
- What? [BURPS] That's dumb.
- So lazy!
152
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,500
Forward your notes to my ass!
153
00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:10,110
Wait, what? He just left.
154
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,640
Kind of makes you want to
be our unlikely ally, huh?
155
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,700
Oh, I guess not.
156
00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,310
- [SQUELCHES]
- [GROANS]
157
00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,390
Previously, on Jesus Christ...
158
00:05:18,980 --> 00:05:20,520
- Hey, I'm Jesus.
- I'm Mary.
159
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,531
- That's my mom's name!
- Stop. [LAUGHS]
160
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:25,280
- Dude, she's a hooker.
- She's a better disciple than you!
161
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,660
Ow! Aw! Owww!
162
00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:30,640
[GASPS] Oh, no.
163
00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:33,250
I can't die.
164
00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:35,670
[FRENCH ACCENT] I 'ave
a proposition for you.
165
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,170
I work alone.
166
00:05:39,850 --> 00:05:43,480
If I suck-a your blood,
I'll be invincible! I think!
167
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,300
- You'll never know.
- Aah!
168
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:48,100
Billionaire immortal
entrepreneur Jesus Christ
169
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,490
has placed all his money
170
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:52,390
into what he's calling a
"second chance at love."
171
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,939
- Hang on, Mary!
- The data!
172
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:56,940
So beautiful!
173
00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:59,651
Make me normal, witch.
174
00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:03,071
Take it all!
175
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,020
Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ.
176
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,950
- What are you smiling at?
- [CHUCKLES]
177
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,744
Your name.
178
00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:11,246
[MONITOR BEEPING]
179
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:12,440
What's happening, Rick?
180
00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:15,039
Leon's venom makes you think more
and more of your life is behind you
181
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,140
as he feeds on your released potential.
182
00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:20,297
Leon, y-you saved our lives!
183
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,400
- Oh, not yet, he hasn't.
- Jeez, Rick!
184
00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:23,580
- So mean!
- He's meta, Morty.
185
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,718
His life doesn't matter.
186
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,095
Yours does. That's why
we need to get back.
187
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,969
- _
- Well, this doesn't feel like a citadel.
188
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,433
_
189
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,144
Uh, maybe it's cooler on the inside.
190
00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:37,160
[GASPS] This isn't what it looks like.
191
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:40,260
This is a very special diet
for successful writers.
192
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,680
Why do you look like my character?
193
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,120
I am your character!
194
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:45,447
And you are going to improve me.
195
00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:47,199
But you're Story Lord. You're great.
196
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,970
Great isn't good enough!
197
00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:51,660
I've killed Rick and made myself real!
198
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,360
I'm better than some shitty toy train.
199
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,280
Is this your office or your apartment?
200
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:58,200
Why does it smell like you sleep here?
201
00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:00,400
You're my creator. Why are you pathetic?
202
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,710
- Because you failed!
- And whose fault is that?
203
00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:03,840
What the hell happened?
204
00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:05,900
You want to know what
happened? Like, specifically?
205
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,720
Well, the Ricks wanted to do a
"Canterbury Tales"-type thing,
206
00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:10,959
but none of them have actually
read fucking "Canterbury Tales."
207
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,039
So then they told me to make
it like the poker-game episode
208
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,120
of the Batman cartoon
209
00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:16,100
where the bad guys tell
stories about Batman.
210
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,230
Then they kept telling me
it "needed something."
211
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,080
Yeah, no shit, it needed something!
212
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:22,000
It needed to never be pitched!
213
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,270
I did my job!
214
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,870
Goomby, the Ice Queen,
the Tickets Please guy.
215
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,000
They just bailed on it!
216
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,660
The website didn't even fucking work!
217
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,440
And it was a shitty URL to begin with,
218
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:33,620
"Story-dash-train"? Who uses a dash?
219
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,820
They set me up to fail. They fucked me!
220
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,750
They fucked me and you're lucky
I haven't blown my brains out!
221
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,540
Right. Just give me a
motivation, you hacky fart.
222
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,960
Okay, here's your motivation.
223
00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:44,780
You're looking for motivation.
224
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,930
You want all the motivation.
225
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:49,177
- That's lazy.
- It got you this far.
226
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:50,380
Must be nice, by the way.
227
00:07:50,390 --> 00:07:52,850
Wish I could afford to dress
like a bisexual acting coach
228
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:54,040
from the '70s.
229
00:07:54,060 --> 00:07:57,140
My motivation... is motivation.
230
00:07:57,150 --> 00:07:58,645
Okay. Bye.
231
00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:02,190
Oh, no, my bitter friend.
You're coming with me.
232
00:08:04,190 --> 00:08:07,100
Yo! If you don't see me coming,
it's a bad fortress!
233
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,820
[GATE OPENS]
234
00:08:08,830 --> 00:08:11,930
- Where are we?
- Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six.
235
00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,109
They're meta nerds that found
out they could be less bearable
236
00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,650
- as a team.
- They can help us?
237
00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:17,599
No, but there's a prisoner
here that can. Shh.
238
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,899
- Don't tell them that.
- Rick Sanchez.
239
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,460
I've been waiting for
this moment for years.
240
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:25,547
Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss... Lead.
241
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,870
I should kill you where you stand.
242
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:28,889
_
243
00:08:28,890 --> 00:08:30,280
I brought you Previous Leon.
244
00:08:30,290 --> 00:08:32,239
You'll want to lock him up
in your detention center.
245
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,020
It's a trick! He wants your prisoner!
246
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:35,520
- You dick.
- Liar!
247
00:08:35,530 --> 00:08:36,740
Talk about a mislead.
248
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,060
- Anti-meta field.
- Fancy device.
249
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,500
I think I can recall
the time you built it.
250
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,106
Don't try it, Flash Back!
251
00:08:43,107 --> 00:08:44,110
_
252
00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:47,550
You know, I-I'm excited
about the upcoming election.
253
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,220
This forcefield will be
impenetrable by meta-energy.
254
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,840
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
255
00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:53,575
Hmmm.
256
00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:55,980
It runs on hydrogen isotopes.
257
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,670
A few barrels of petroleum
should dampen it.
258
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,080
- [CHUCKLES]
- Run, Morty!
259
00:09:01,050 --> 00:09:02,780
Were those not there before?
260
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,419
Guess there's been a...
Connie TinuityError.
261
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,430
_
262
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,132
- These people are the worst!
- I told you! Way overpowered!
263
00:09:10,700 --> 00:09:11,710
[ALARM BLARING]
264
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,250
- Look out, Rick!
- Forget him. He's a nameless guard.
265
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:16,730
That's Protago Nick.
266
00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:19,309
His beam has the power to make
any character the protagonist.
267
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:20,434
_
268
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,062
D-Duck!
269
00:09:22,870 --> 00:09:24,520
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
270
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,340
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
271
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,400
Gah! What are you doing, Marvin?!
272
00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:30,830
Not dying, that's what I'm doing.
273
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,500
Oh, what's going on? What happened?
274
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:36,170
I did it again, Katie.
I ran out on another job.
275
00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:39,200
Well, if you didn't do that,
you wouldn't be my man.
276
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:42,650
_
277
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,320
♪ ♪
278
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,964
_
279
00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:54,380
♪ ♪
280
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,990
I was almost tempted to just let it go.
281
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,900
- That's how much I hate it here.
- Smash cut!
282
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,370
Remember me, Rick?
283
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,880
- Who's this guy, now?
- I am Mr. Twist.
284
00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:04,896
_
285
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:07,300
The fifth member of the
Self-Referential Six.
286
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,870
- Who's the sixth?
- That's the twist, Morty. It's you.
287
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:11,949
- What?
- Ignore him, Morty.
288
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,479
The twist is there's no sixth member
289
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,240
- and he tells that to everybody.
- In any case, you're ours now.
290
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,180
You can't free yourself without a twist,
291
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,700
- and I control them.
- You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist.
292
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:24,520
- I've got a twist for you.
- Impossible! What is it?
293
00:10:24,530 --> 00:10:25,542
- Aah!
- Aha!
294
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:28,520
Nice try! Like I didn't see that coming.
295
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,380
Fuck me.
296
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,718
- Great work, Morty!
- I'm adapting!
297
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,094
Here's our ticket out of here.
298
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,499
They got him in a cell
made out of sports
299
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,980
because it's the opposite of story.
300
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,530
Do I want to ask who he is?
301
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,960
His name is Brett Caan.
302
00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:44,680
He has the power to make things
always have been other things.
303
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:46,200
I think that's called retconning.
304
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,480
B-But his name's Brett Caan?
305
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:50,300
I mean, Rhett's a name too.
His name could be Rhett Caan.
306
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,340
It is. And always has been... now.
307
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,740
- Whoa.
- Careful, Morty.
308
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,170
Stay clear of his retcon range.
309
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:57,480
Until he agrees to help us.
310
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,868
Rick, you've always trusted me.
311
00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:01,900
Nice try. Here's how it's gonna work.
312
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,260
You're gonna make it so Morty
and I never came here.
313
00:11:04,270 --> 00:11:05,759
Once that's always been the case,
314
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,920
- I'll free you remotely with this.
- What is my purpose?
315
00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:10,740
To wait until I tell you
to pull that lever.
316
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,172
You are fucking kidding me.
317
00:11:12,180 --> 00:11:13,980
If you don't free me right now, Rick,
318
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:17,630
I can make very, very bad things
always have been the case for you.
319
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,800
Is that a threat, you fuck?
320
00:11:18,810 --> 00:11:20,880
- Y-Y-You can rot in there.
- Rick.
321
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,149
You know what, Rhett?
Forget what I said.
322
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,600
We've always been friends.
323
00:11:24,620 --> 00:11:26,010
Good one.
324
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,340
Whoa, easy, Rhett.
325
00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:29,810
Don't forget that coffee mug I gave you.
326
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:32,950
You always were able to
be killed with coffee.
327
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,403
Aaah!
328
00:11:35,410 --> 00:11:37,150
New plan. Run. Again.
329
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,490
The twist being...
330
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,520
You were born without bones.
331
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:43,760
See ya never!
332
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:45,420
[LAUGHS]
333
00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:47,670
There's never been anything
outside this fortress.
334
00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:48,700
God damn it!
335
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:53,620
And this fortress has
always been an orange!
336
00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:57,440
Pluh! Great plan, Rick!
337
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,869
Yeah, I'm not pushing
back on that, Morty,
338
00:11:58,870 --> 00:12:00,790
I have royally fucked us.
339
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:04,020
Ugh! It hurts.
340
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,870
We've been past the
fourth wall too long.
341
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,860
- We won't be real much longer.
- You killed us, Rick.
342
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,100
You just had to hate meta
storytelling. [GROANS]
343
00:12:12,110 --> 00:12:13,320
In my defense, Morty,
344
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:16,620
I think you can agree my
hate was justified. Ohh!
345
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:22,110
Least... earned... death... ever...
346
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,495
♪ ♪
347
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,740
Death is a threshold.
348
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,820
♪ ♪
349
00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:35,000
Ugh! What... What happened?
350
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:36,047
You atoned.
351
00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,507
Who... Who are you?
352
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:39,960
I'm Joseph Campbell. Soup?
353
00:12:39,970 --> 00:12:43,300
I almost considered not making it
because my name is Campbell,
354
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,340
but then I thought, stay
in the moment, Joe.
355
00:12:45,350 --> 00:12:47,500
- Follow your bliss.
- How are you here?
356
00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:49,394
R-Rhett Caan said there was nothing.
357
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,660
Some things never change
about mythology.
358
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,800
There's always an old man with soup.
359
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:56,480
Name one story that doesn't have one.
360
00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,209
- Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk.
- "Basketball Diaries."
361
00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,900
- Every "Matrix."
- Every movie ever.
362
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:01,989
All right, I don't have to
defend myself to you people.
363
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,400
Where's my soup?
364
00:13:03,410 --> 00:13:05,618
- [COUGHS]
- RICK: Previous Fuckin' Leon.
365
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,800
Why is that prick here?
366
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,280
No more a prick than you, friend.
367
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,620
Meta characters erode reality.
368
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,760
But all characters are meta, Rick.
369
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:16,880
All of us are nourished
and consumed by chaos,
370
00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:19,240
like newborns at the
breast of a meth addict
371
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:22,670
- in a lifeboat filled with forks.
- I know what you have to do, Rick.
372
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,360
Scrub Campbell's browser history?
373
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:26,370
Just trust Previous Leon.
374
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,475
Could you previously us a way home?
375
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,780
Uh, well, I'll sure enjoy trying.
376
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:32,840
Yeah, I bet you would.
377
00:13:32,850 --> 00:13:34,710
Rick can't change, Morty.
378
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,440
Change is what you might
call his Kryptonite.
379
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:39,180
Except instead of being super,
380
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,780
he's, you know, kind of a pussy.
381
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,940
Let's do it.
382
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,360
Previously, on Rick...
383
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:47,819
- [SQUELCHING]
- MORTY: Get him off! Get him off!
384
00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,202
- [CERAMIC BREAKS]
- Oh, boy.
385
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:52,250
- He almost killed you!
- Okay, well, I feel bad,
386
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:54,070
I kind of pressured
you into trying that.
387
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,544
- You called me a pussy.
- I said I feel bad!
388
00:13:56,550 --> 00:14:01,120
This is a map to a region
rich in narrative ore.
389
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,620
I wish you the best of luck.
390
00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:03,840
Faster, Morty! I'd help,
391
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,762
but I can't blister my inventing hands.
392
00:14:05,770 --> 00:14:07,180
- How long will it take?
- Years.
393
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:08,690
You can live in my wood shed.
394
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,223
- Just don't open the door after dark.
- Why not?
395
00:14:11,224 --> 00:14:13,339
Get out here, you Communist Jews!
396
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:15,970
- Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
- I know, right?
397
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,350
You fucking "Back to
the Future" rip-offs!
398
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,920
- It's ready.
- Rick, I should stay.
399
00:14:20,930 --> 00:14:22,439
- Why?
- I'm pregnant.
400
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,619
- What are you doing?
- It wasn't him, Rick!
401
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:26,160
- Then who?!
- Me! I never left.
402
00:14:26,170 --> 00:14:28,868
But you had to think all this
happened to make that.
403
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:30,453
And I can get this through the titles?
404
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,955
If you hang on tight.
405
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,832
What about my beard and unborn child?
406
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,083
Let them go.
407
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:37,100
- Thank you, Leon.
- When you get home, Rick,
408
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,880
do some classic adventures.
409
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:41,019
- Like season one...
- I'm so sick of that fucking note.
410
00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:42,700
What the fuck does it even mean?
411
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,720
Ohh!
412
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,510
Now, one last time.
413
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,860
- What's my motivation?
- Motivation.
414
00:14:54,870 --> 00:14:57,689
This machine will siphon it
from everyone in the universe.
415
00:14:57,690 --> 00:14:59,520
Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it.
416
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,000
[GRUNTING]
417
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:06,200
Oh, I think it's working!
Yes, I can feel it!
418
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:08,940
Something I did is actually
affecting someone!
419
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:12,900
♪ ♪
420
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,080
I don't want to work anymore.
421
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:17,950
I do, but only as an excuse
to not practice guitar.
422
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,660
♪ ♪
423
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,190
Why don't we just write any
number down on the score sheet?
424
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,620
Oh, why even do that?
425
00:15:26,630 --> 00:15:28,136
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
426
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,290
♪ ♪
427
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:32,460
- _
- Wait, you have to register?
428
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:37,300
Yes! I can feel it! I'm so motivated!
429
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:40,030
I want... a lot!
430
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,260
[PORTAL OPENS]
431
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,819
- Story time's over.
- Ha! Hardly your decision.
432
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:48,198
Did you seriously double down on
motivation as your motivation?
433
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,380
- It's a good idea!
- There's no such thing!
434
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,759
There's joyful and there's joyless,
435
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,020
and we've had our fill of one.
436
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,900
Morty, make that sweaty
writer stop working
437
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,248
while I kill off his character.
438
00:15:57,250 --> 00:16:01,211
I have never been more
driven to destroy someone.
439
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:02,769
Yeah, well, I'm driven to
lower my blood sugar,
440
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:05,298
but guess who's getting tacos
after he kicks your ass?
441
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:08,100
So you're jacked. Who cares?
442
00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:11,330
- [CHUCKLES] Cum gutters.
- I don't like that phrase.
443
00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,555
I don't take notes.
444
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,099
[BOTH ROARING]
445
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:19,160
You can't beat me, Rick.
446
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:21,910
I have one million
times your motivation!
447
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,442
So do those guys with the
cellphone kiosks at the mall.
448
00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:27,540
[BOTH GRUNTING]
449
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:34,452
♪ ♪
450
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:41,501
♪ ♪
451
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:49,200
♪ ♪
452
00:16:49,210 --> 00:16:50,480
[SQUEAKING]
453
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:51,550
The hair is wrong.
454
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,471
Like you'd be picky about licensing.
455
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,807
Actually, I would.
I happen to believe that...
456
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,810
[GROANS]
457
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,059
[GRUNTS, LAUGHS]
458
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:04,566
- You can do that?
- You got to want it.
459
00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:07,780
Come on, just stop.
I-I don't want to fight you.
460
00:17:07,790 --> 00:17:10,380
Kid, I'm a writer that wrote
something successful.
461
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,509
So if you want me to give it up,
462
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:12,549
you're gonna need a black belt
463
00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:14,840
- or a big pair of tits.
- Yeah, well, I don't have those.
464
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:17,270
CAMPBELL: In the mythical
sense, I have both.
465
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,320
Joseph Campbell?
466
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:20,206
Yeah, nice try. He died in the '80s.
467
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,420
Only you can see and hear me, Morty.
468
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:24,836
- Just repeat what I tell you.
- Okay.
469
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:25,900
[CLEARS THROAT]
470
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:28,750
Sir, you're only proud of
your creation's success
471
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:30,500
because you want to be creative,
472
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,580
but creation doesn't happen
through gimmicks,
473
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:34,053
technology, and distribution.
474
00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:35,920
It doesn't even happen through work.
475
00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:38,460
Creativity is frankly adjacent
to mental illness
476
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,143
and overlaps with it substantially.
477
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,000
A lot of talented people kill themselves
478
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,438
and all of them are miserable.
479
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,020
The real gift is to be ungifted,
480
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,520
and from what I saw in your
Green Arrow spec script,
481
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:50,040
that's the gift you were given.
482
00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:51,660
You couldn't have seen that.
483
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,600
I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it.
484
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:56,260
- The villain was a placeholder.
- I said I saw it, Jan.
485
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,300
I didn't say I could get past page five.
486
00:17:58,310 --> 00:17:59,829
Y-Your villains aren't the problem.
487
00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,560
The problem is, when you write,
488
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:02,600
you're a villain.
489
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:05,160
If you want to be a hero, just stop.
490
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:07,560
[SNIFFLES, SOBS]
491
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:14,135
You know what? Maybe I will register.
492
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:18,473
Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus!
493
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,780
Oh, looks like your
writer took a hiatus.
494
00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:23,811
Oh, fuck.
495
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:25,355
You're less motivated to fight now,
496
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,024
so this is literally punching down,
but you've got it coming.
497
00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:30,470
[GROANING]
498
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,440
Please, let me live.
499
00:18:32,460 --> 00:18:34,000
I promise to be cooler.
500
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:38,201
I'll be less inside baseball.
Maybe I change my name? Ow!
501
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,454
You failed me.
502
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:44,374
No, I failed you.
503
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:45,710
[COUGHS]
504
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:49,462
All good things must come to an end.
505
00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:52,340
All bad things too, though,
so don't flatter yourself.
506
00:18:52,350 --> 00:18:55,400
Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have
to be the one to put him down.
507
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:57,600
Wait, wait, wait, Joseph
Campbell also says
508
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,520
you have to use this brand-new
limited edition Rick plush,
509
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,460
available only on rick-plush.biz.
510
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,600
- Supplies are limited. Act now.
- He did?
511
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:07,439
[SQUEAKING, MUFFLED GRUNTING]
512
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,566
[GRUNTING]
513
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:12,680
Shhh.
514
00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:18,150
[BREATHES HEAVILY]
515
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,620
Jesus, that's the last time
I buy a toy from a Rick.
516
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:23,079
Ooh, the plushies are
obviously well made.
517
00:19:28,470 --> 00:19:30,220
Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick.
518
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,520
Well, I am a master
of both worlds, Morty.
519
00:19:34,890 --> 00:19:38,060
Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing.
520
00:19:38,070 --> 00:19:39,309
Because it should be effortless.
521
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,409
And when it happens organically,
that's when it's meant to be.
522
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:43,420
You know, like, um, like me.
523
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:45,740
I'm a writer, here's a pencil.
Writers use pencils.
524
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,319
Okay, so, like, what if,
like, a pencil used me?
525
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,280
Like, um... okay! Yeah!
526
00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,240
Okay, so it's like a magic pencil
527
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:52,920
that writes the writer's life...
528
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:56,460
holy shit, it's a movie about a writer!
529
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:57,740
I am back!
530
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:03,650
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
531
00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,123
♪ ♪
532
00:20:07,130 --> 00:20:13,921
♪ ♪
533
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:21,679
♪ ♪
534
00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:30,271
♪ ♪
535
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:35,120
Yeah, I'm Tag-Man!
I-I-I-I live in the tag!
536
00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:38,020
I-I-I am the tag! I'm Tag-Man!
537
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,698
Tag... Tag of the episode... man!
"Did you get any of that?"
538
00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:42,709
When the... yeah,
when an episode's over,
539
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:45,349
look out, because, yaaaah,
here comes Tag-Man!
540
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:48,700
And I'm... I'm crazy! Tag-Man! Yeah!
541
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,770
I'm... I'mma tag your ass!
542
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:53,460
Tag that ass. Tag-Ass-Man!
543
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,300
I'm an Ass-Man now!
544
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:56,770
I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man!
545
00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,520
Here's what you get. Here's your tag!
546
00:20:58,540 --> 00:20:59,900
Yeah, you want some more?
547
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,340
You want... you want some more
tag, you sick piece of shit?!
548
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,260
I'm... because I'm Tag-Man!
549
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:06,640
I miss my wife.
550
00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:08,526
Too bad. This is it!
551
00:21:08,530 --> 00:21:10,728
Tag-Man, yeah!
552
00:21:10,730 --> 00:21:12,230
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
553
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,731
Did you get any of that?
40511
Can't find what you're looking for?
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