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00:00:02,277 --> 00:00:06,188
Hi, my TitiBears.♪ Come into my bathroom
2
00:00:06,222 --> 00:00:08,226
Okay, so, today,
I'm gonna show you all
3
00:00:08,259 --> 00:00:09,729
how to do a smoky eye
4
00:00:09,763 --> 00:00:11,132
and a new thing
I just thought of,
5
00:00:11,165 --> 00:00:13,169
a smoky mouth.
6
00:00:13,202 --> 00:00:15,240
But before that,
I need to holler at you guys
7
00:00:15,273 --> 00:00:17,344
about something supes serious.
8
00:00:17,377 --> 00:00:18,747
So I've been seeing
a lot of comments
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00:00:18,781 --> 00:00:21,753
about my, like, feud
with the mayor of Los Angeles,
10
00:00:21,787 --> 00:00:23,691
and I just want to clarify
something for you all.
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00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,697
Yes, Mayor Bremer tried
to kill me with his car,
12
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,466
but I am not petty.
13
00:00:28,499 --> 00:00:31,138
Some of you are also asking
why there's a link in my bio
14
00:00:31,172 --> 00:00:33,242
to a Recall Mayor Bremer petition,
15
00:00:33,276 --> 00:00:35,113
and the only reason
why it's there
16
00:00:35,146 --> 00:00:36,583
is because
I accidentally copied
17
00:00:36,617 --> 00:00:38,386
and then accidentally
pasted it there.
18
00:00:38,419 --> 00:00:40,490
So let me just say
to all my Bear-Bs
19
00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:43,129
who are posting toxic comments
about this guy,
20
00:00:43,162 --> 00:00:45,568
do not click on that link
on my behalf.
21
00:00:45,601 --> 00:00:46,703
Click it on yours
22
00:00:46,737 --> 00:00:49,576
if you're 18 and registered
to vote in Los Angeles.
23
00:00:50,778 --> 00:00:53,316
So now, I'm just
gonna be going in
24
00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:55,320
with the ashes from one
of my dogs who died recently,
25
00:00:55,353 --> 00:00:57,257
but you can get yours
from wherever you want.
26
00:01:06,409 --> 00:01:08,112
TitiB's followers are
dangerously close
27
00:01:08,146 --> 00:01:09,248
to making this recall happen.
28
00:01:09,281 --> 00:01:10,483
Also, "Come Into My Bathroom"
29
00:01:10,517 --> 00:01:12,154
is now the number-one song
on Spotify
30
00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:13,590
and my go-to karaoke channel.
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00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:16,462
We need to start
taking this seriously.
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00:01:16,495 --> 00:01:19,669
I don't like this new
"West Wing"-y energy,
33
00:01:19,703 --> 00:01:22,541
and it's giving me
coke flashbacks to the '80s.
34
00:01:22,575 --> 00:01:24,411
Okay, stunt on us.
35
00:01:24,445 --> 00:01:26,182
Look, I'm not gonna
get all worked up
36
00:01:26,215 --> 00:01:28,252
about something
that's never gonna happen.
37
00:01:28,286 --> 00:01:29,689
This is California.
38
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,492
In the last 100 years,
39
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,630
how many recall petitions
were there?
40
00:01:33,664 --> 00:01:34,833
179.
41
00:01:34,866 --> 00:01:37,304
Okay,
and how many went through?
42
00:01:37,337 --> 00:01:38,841
- Uh, six--
- See?
43
00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:41,379
Now, I wish I had known
that the first time you told me
44
00:01:41,412 --> 00:01:44,451
that some wingnut was trying
to get me recalled.
45
00:01:44,485 --> 00:01:47,190
So stressed out
I couldn't enjoy my golf game,
46
00:01:47,224 --> 00:01:48,827
and they will not take
that away from me again.
47
00:01:48,861 --> 00:01:51,767
Okay, yes, sir, but TitiB
has millions of followers
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who do whatever she says.
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00:01:53,436 --> 00:01:55,407
She told her TitiBears
to boycott the Oakland Raiders,
50
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:56,743
and they had
to move to Las Vegas.
51
00:01:56,777 --> 00:01:59,883
Guys, guys, in order
to vote for a recall,
52
00:01:59,916 --> 00:02:03,456
you have to physically
mail in your signature.
53
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,795
Her followers
don't know what mail is.
54
00:02:05,828 --> 00:02:06,863
That's true.
55
00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:08,533
My cousins think that mailboxes
56
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:09,736
are Cookie Monster memorials,
57
00:02:09,769 --> 00:02:11,740
and I'm like,
"When do you think he died?"
58
00:02:11,773 --> 00:02:13,242
So what do we actually
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00:02:13,276 --> 00:02:15,848
have to concern ourselves
with today?
60
00:02:15,881 --> 00:02:18,721
Ah, Gilbert's birthday.
61
00:02:18,754 --> 00:02:20,323
Hey, Gilbert, my friend,
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00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,527
how old are we this year, 40?
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00:02:22,562 --> 00:02:25,868
- 32, but I'm a drinker, so--
- Yeah, good for you.
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00:02:25,901 --> 00:02:28,239
Oh, look, then I go to
Schuman's Deli
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00:02:28,272 --> 00:02:29,642
for the unveiling
of my caricature.
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00:02:29,676 --> 00:02:32,214
The artist said
that it was difficult
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00:02:32,247 --> 00:02:37,290
to find a flaw to exaggerate.
Poor guy.
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00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,461
- You ready, Kwapis?
- For Schuman's Deli? Yes.
69
00:02:39,495 --> 00:02:40,765
I'm talking about the recall.
70
00:02:40,798 --> 00:02:42,635
No, Neil just said
that wasn't going to happen.
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00:02:42,668 --> 00:02:44,906
Politics is like an interview
with Kanye West.
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00:02:44,939 --> 00:02:46,509
Anything can happen.
73
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,346
No, when I said
I would run your campaign,
74
00:02:48,379 --> 00:02:49,883
I thought that would be,
like, years away.
75
00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:51,485
Hold it together, man.
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00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,755
I'm just saying,
we've gotta wait
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00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:54,626
and see how this shakes out.
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00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:56,663
Relaxed readiness,
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00:02:56,696 --> 00:02:57,497
hands on knees,
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00:02:57,531 --> 00:02:59,803
bouncing on
the balls of your feet,
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00:02:59,836 --> 00:03:01,472
holding our bladders.
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00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:03,610
I coach elder softball.
83
00:03:07,384 --> 00:03:09,254
So you're the almond milk guzzler.
84
00:03:09,288 --> 00:03:10,658
- What?
- You know, if you hate
85
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,260
the environment,
wouldn't it be easier
86
00:03:12,294 --> 00:03:13,129
to just shoot
a polar bear in the face?
87
00:03:13,162 --> 00:03:14,899
- Cut it out.
- Hey, you cannot hit me.
88
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,805
That is harassment.
- Oh, you wish I'd harass you.
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00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:19,508
Wait, give it back.
90
00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:21,913
Why are you so tall?
I'm so little.
91
00:03:24,284 --> 00:03:26,690
- Oh, sorry. It's--
- Paige?
92
00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:29,394
I'm really good at reading
men's phones upside down.
93
00:03:29,428 --> 00:03:31,332
Yeah, I should just--
94
00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:35,540
Ugh, this thing with his ex
is driving me crazy.
95
00:03:35,574 --> 00:03:37,945
But it's so fun for your
coworkers to watch you flirt.
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00:03:37,979 --> 00:03:39,314
I know you could reach
the milk!
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00:03:39,348 --> 00:03:40,517
Don't get snippy with me
98
00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:42,420
just because you're
stressed about Neil.
99
00:03:42,454 --> 00:03:44,626
He's not worried enough
about this recall attempt.
100
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,963
I mean, yes,
Gen Z doesn't do mail.
101
00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,869
I saw one of our interns use
Forever stamps as Band-Aids.
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00:03:49,903 --> 00:03:51,573
I just want to know if this
thing is happening or not.
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00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:52,975
I mean, being in limbo
like this--
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00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:55,548
Just like me and James.
105
00:03:55,581 --> 00:03:57,417
You're right.
I should go talk to him.
106
00:03:57,451 --> 00:03:59,956
Wow. How did you manage
to make that about yourself?
107
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,427
My new year's resolution
was to take up more space.
108
00:04:03,797 --> 00:04:06,335
You know,
when I first moved to LA,
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00:04:06,368 --> 00:04:09,374
I thought, "Someday,
my caricature
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00:04:09,408 --> 00:04:12,347
will be on the wall
at Schuman's Deli."
111
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:14,451
But this isn't Schuman's.
112
00:04:14,485 --> 00:04:16,990
This is clearly
a sorority house.
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00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:21,933
Allow me.
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00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,002
Oh, there you go.
115
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:27,812
Now, who wants to show me
some photos of grandkids?
116
00:04:27,845 --> 00:04:29,549
Oh, gorgeous!
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00:04:29,582 --> 00:04:31,452
But I bet they
don't call enough, do they?
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00:04:31,485 --> 00:04:32,521
Well, actually,
my granddaughter
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00:04:32,555 --> 00:04:35,628
called this morning.
She asked if I had any stamps.
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00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:38,734
That's too funny.
My grandson called and asked
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00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:42,808
if I knew where a mailbox was
and how to open it.
122
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:43,944
Kids.
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00:04:43,977 --> 00:04:45,513
Sir, it's time
to sign a bagel.
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00:04:45,548 --> 00:04:47,517
- Ah, good.
- Hello.
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00:04:47,552 --> 00:04:49,488
Just to save us a lot
of questions, I'm Filipino.
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00:04:49,521 --> 00:04:51,860
Now, what did I hear you say
about grandkids and mail?
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00:04:53,462 --> 00:04:55,968
Uh-oh.
You back for round two?
128
00:04:56,001 --> 00:04:57,470
Yeah.
129
00:04:57,504 --> 00:05:00,678
Um, round two of what, James?
130
00:05:00,711 --> 00:05:02,748
Because Paige
is still living with you,
131
00:05:02,782 --> 00:05:05,520
which means that things
are still messy,
132
00:05:05,554 --> 00:05:08,560
so am I just supposed
to wait around?
133
00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:10,496
'Cause I haven't been touched
by a man in, like--
134
00:05:10,530 --> 00:05:12,500
Okay, let me stop you there.
135
00:05:12,534 --> 00:05:13,770
I moved out over the weekend.
136
00:05:13,804 --> 00:05:16,710
She just called to figure out
the key drop-off.
137
00:05:16,743 --> 00:05:18,145
Oh.
138
00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:21,753
I wish I had known that
ten seconds ago.
139
00:05:21,786 --> 00:05:24,391
By the way, I actually
have been touched by a man.
140
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:26,528
Many, but not too many.
141
00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:28,065
I wanted to tell you,
but I thought
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00:05:28,099 --> 00:05:31,071
if I asked you out right away,
you'd think it was too soon.
143
00:05:31,105 --> 00:05:34,478
Yeah, um,
what are the rules here?
144
00:05:34,511 --> 00:05:36,950
Exactly. I mean, how soon do
you ask someone out
145
00:05:36,983 --> 00:05:39,656
after you get out
of a failed COVID relationship
146
00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:41,392
that was based
on trauma bonding
147
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,862
and getting
way too into birding?
148
00:05:42,895 --> 00:05:44,398
We wait one month.
149
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,068
That seems dignified.
150
00:05:46,101 --> 00:05:47,705
Yes, very appropriate.
151
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,678
And a month is,
what, like, 30 days?
152
00:05:50,711 --> 00:05:51,980
- Sometimes 31.
- Mm-hmm.
153
00:05:52,013 --> 00:05:53,850
Occasionally 28.
154
00:05:53,884 --> 00:05:56,556
But, um,
but not on leap years.
155
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,768
James, you still coming
to the analytics team check-in?
156
00:06:02,802 --> 00:06:05,808
Of course, yeah.
I'll be right there.
157
00:06:05,841 --> 00:06:06,843
Mm-hmm.
158
00:06:06,876 --> 00:06:10,083
Let's double back
to this conversation later.
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00:06:10,116 --> 00:06:12,855
Yes.
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00:06:12,888 --> 00:06:17,598
Wow, that was not it.
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00:06:17,632 --> 00:06:20,470
Hey, Bear Cubs.
We're doing mail.
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00:06:20,503 --> 00:06:22,808
We got our letter purses
and stickers,
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00:06:22,842 --> 00:06:25,681
and now, we're gonna feed them
to the robot.
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00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:28,519
Recall Mayor Bremer!
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00:06:28,553 --> 00:06:29,989
Who showed you
how to do this?
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00:06:35,260 --> 00:06:38,707
Hi, Bear Cubs.
Recall challenge. You know that pile of paper
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00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,143
that comes to
your parents' house?
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00:06:40,176 --> 00:06:41,880
That's mail.
169
00:06:41,913 --> 00:06:43,182
Remember email?
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00:06:43,215 --> 00:06:46,790
It was based on that pile.
History lesson!
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00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,196
But sometimes you still need
to do mail for certain things
172
00:06:50,229 --> 00:06:52,902
like sending headshots
to prisons.
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00:06:52,935 --> 00:06:55,506
All you need is a letter purse
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00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,847
and a special sticker.
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00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,920
So they could actually
get enough signatures
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00:07:01,953 --> 00:07:04,692
to make this happen?
177
00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:06,161
This is bad.
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00:07:06,195 --> 00:07:07,765
As bad as when
they brought Digimon
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00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:08,600
into the human world
180
00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:10,804
instead of humans
into the Digi-world.
181
00:07:10,838 --> 00:07:12,608
We gotta stop this recall!
182
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,044
Getting cold feet, Kwapis?
183
00:07:14,077 --> 00:07:16,616
No, they're boiling hot
all the time.
184
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,052
All right.
185
00:07:18,085 --> 00:07:20,557
We gotta get
our battle strategy in order.
186
00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:22,828
I know we're all
a little anxious,
187
00:07:22,862 --> 00:07:27,605
but believe me, we are going
to stop this recall petition.
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00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:29,274
Even if it means
killing everyone
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00:07:29,307 --> 00:07:31,746
between the ages of 18 and 25.
190
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:32,648
No, don't--
191
00:07:32,682 --> 00:07:34,184
Recalls are kind of
my specialty, sir.
192
00:07:34,217 --> 00:07:36,288
I did my thesis
on Governor Davis' recall,
193
00:07:36,321 --> 00:07:37,223
mostly because
I was going through
194
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,794
a Patrick Schwarzenegger phase,
195
00:07:38,827 --> 00:07:40,698
but still, we need to start
a media blitz yesterday.
196
00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:42,802
Yesterday? Impossible!
197
00:07:42,835 --> 00:07:44,939
This is the guy
running our strategy?
198
00:07:44,972 --> 00:07:46,676
Okay, the mayor is gonna hit
local TV shows.
199
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:47,845
Arpi and Jayden,
you handle radio columns.
200
00:07:47,878 --> 00:07:50,183
We also need to get on top
of the misinformation campaign
201
00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:51,285
around the mayor.
- They're saying that
202
00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:52,621
you're actually
a regular-sized guy
203
00:07:52,655 --> 00:07:53,824
with little stilts
in his pants,
204
00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,961
that you got replaced
like Avril Lavigne,
205
00:07:55,994 --> 00:07:58,967
oh, that you're using Tommy
for youth blood transfusions.
206
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,203
Which: flattering.
207
00:08:00,236 --> 00:08:02,307
All right, look,
I want you two to team up.
208
00:08:02,340 --> 00:08:04,846
James, handle tech.
Mikaela, handle messaging.
209
00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,549
And let me know if you need
to take any pictures of me
210
00:08:06,583 --> 00:08:08,219
to turn into funny memes.
211
00:08:08,252 --> 00:08:11,091
All right, team.
All hands on deck.
212
00:08:12,928 --> 00:08:14,565
Let's go kill this recall.
213
00:08:14,599 --> 00:08:16,001
I don't believe you,
214
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:18,874
which is saying a lot because
I have fallen for every scam.
215
00:08:19,976 --> 00:08:23,182
Every single one.
216
00:08:25,153 --> 00:08:26,321
I have something important
to tell you
217
00:08:26,355 --> 00:08:28,660
and something
very important to tell you.
218
00:08:28,693 --> 00:08:30,631
I'm on with the Secretary
of State's office.
219
00:08:30,664 --> 00:08:31,766
Okay, the important thing
is that
220
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,937
the LA Homeowners' Association
is backing the recall.
221
00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,974
The very important thing
is that I kissed James,
222
00:08:36,008 --> 00:08:37,243
and he's really bad at it!
223
00:08:37,277 --> 00:08:38,580
Scott, let me call you back.
224
00:08:38,613 --> 00:08:40,684
I love when hot people
are bad at things.
225
00:08:40,717 --> 00:08:42,153
I don't know what happened.
226
00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:43,924
We had a great talk,
227
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,026
he went in for the kiss,
228
00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:48,600
but then it went bad.
229
00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:52,842
His eyes were open.
230
00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:53,810
If I wanted that,
231
00:08:53,844 --> 00:08:56,115
I'd go back to kissing
my broken Betsy Wetsy.
232
00:08:56,148 --> 00:08:57,685
I was a very romantic child.
233
00:08:57,718 --> 00:08:58,854
Hey, Mikaela.
234
00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:00,356
Hey, sexy.
235
00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:01,960
You ready to get at it?
236
00:09:01,993 --> 00:09:03,663
Mm-hmm.
237
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:08,874
Hey, Mike.
238
00:09:08,907 --> 00:09:10,711
How soon before we can
get the deputy mayor on
239
00:09:10,744 --> 00:09:12,313
to talk about this recall?
240
00:09:12,347 --> 00:09:14,050
No, I am well aware
that you are in the middle
241
00:09:14,084 --> 00:09:16,388
of a rock block counting down
the hits of yesterday, today,
242
00:09:16,421 --> 00:09:18,325
and tomorrow, but you owe me.
243
00:09:18,359 --> 00:09:19,929
I've never told anyone this,
244
00:09:19,962 --> 00:09:21,633
but I once saw a Mothman
245
00:09:21,666 --> 00:09:23,904
while power-walking
in the Hills.
246
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:26,375
- What are you doing?
- Hold on a second.
247
00:09:26,408 --> 00:09:28,647
"The Conspiracy Countdown
With Professor Weirdo."
248
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,283
You're not even trying
to help Mayor Bremer.
249
00:09:30,316 --> 00:09:31,753
Well, you're trying
way too hard.
250
00:09:31,786 --> 00:09:34,659
Kwapis, we want this recall
to happen, right?
251
00:09:34,692 --> 00:09:36,863
If this thing happens,
we gotta move fast.
252
00:09:36,896 --> 00:09:38,900
You need to be ready
to tell the mayor you quit.
253
00:09:38,934 --> 00:09:41,238
But the man I turn to
when I'm confused
254
00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:43,075
is the very man
you want me to betray.
255
00:09:43,108 --> 00:09:44,745
Well, good luck
with that, Iago.
256
00:09:44,779 --> 00:09:46,783
I'm the parrot
from "Aladdin"?
257
00:09:46,816 --> 00:09:49,054
No, he's so mean!
258
00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:50,356
And don't forget, Andrea,
259
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:53,663
the Futuro Space Elevator
is already creating jobs.
260
00:09:53,697 --> 00:09:57,370
I also led this city safely
through an avocado crisis.
261
00:09:57,403 --> 00:10:00,376
I spearheaded bus lanes
that have reduced traffic
262
00:10:00,409 --> 00:10:02,982
by...an--an amount,
263
00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:06,255
and I have not had
a single sex scandal,
264
00:10:06,288 --> 00:10:09,662
and, believe me, I could have.
- Hmm.
265
00:10:09,695 --> 00:10:11,933
Sir, I need your advice!
266
00:10:11,966 --> 00:10:14,304
My friend works
at the discotheque,
267
00:10:14,337 --> 00:10:16,943
but he just got invited
to play at the Olympics,
268
00:10:16,976 --> 00:10:19,114
but the owner of the
discotheque is his husband,
269
00:10:19,147 --> 00:10:20,349
and he's gonna be so mad!
270
00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:22,120
Jayden, Jayden!
271
00:10:22,153 --> 00:10:25,126
I'm on live TV right--
right now.
272
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:26,361
Oh, [bleep]!
Can I say [bleep]?
273
00:10:26,395 --> 00:10:27,998
- No, no.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
274
00:10:28,032 --> 00:10:29,367
I'm sorry, [bleep],
- No, get out.
275
00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:30,369
- [bleep],
- Get out.
276
00:10:30,403 --> 00:10:32,140
- I'm sorry.
- No, get out.
277
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,142
Oh,
278
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,679
Oh, boy.
279
00:10:34,712 --> 00:10:38,787
Where was I?
Um, I don't recall,
280
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:41,926
and neither should you,
Los Angeles.
281
00:10:43,395 --> 00:10:44,699
Okay, maybe I've just been
reading these articles
282
00:10:44,732 --> 00:10:46,936
for too long, but why are there
283
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,907
no pictures
of Neil's feet out there?
284
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,376
He has nothing to hide.
285
00:10:50,409 --> 00:10:52,380
They're just
totally normal lizard feet.
286
00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:00,998
I'll be right back.
That was--way to hustle.
287
00:11:02,066 --> 00:11:04,170
James is so bad at this.
288
00:11:04,204 --> 00:11:05,741
He tried to pick me up
289
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:08,012
but then, like,
gave up halfway through.
290
00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:10,751
I'm really light, Tommy.
Like, it's almost a problem.
291
00:11:10,784 --> 00:11:12,120
I wish this were my day.
292
00:11:12,153 --> 00:11:14,157
I mean, come on.
You see how funny it is, right?
293
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:16,829
You finally have the one thing
you wanted after so long--
294
00:11:16,863 --> 00:11:18,098
Yeah, Tommy, look.
Can you talk to him
295
00:11:18,132 --> 00:11:20,102
and try to find out
why he went from lips
296
00:11:20,136 --> 00:11:21,171
back to forehead?
297
00:11:21,204 --> 00:11:23,843
What? Yes, I will!
298
00:11:23,877 --> 00:11:25,513
Okay.
299
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,775
Luis, why are you
printing résumés?
300
00:11:39,809 --> 00:11:40,877
Why do you assume
I'm the only
301
00:11:40,911 --> 00:11:42,380
Luis Hernandez in the office?
302
00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:44,084
Your headshot's on the back.
303
00:11:44,117 --> 00:11:45,954
Pro tip,
if you want cheap headshots,
304
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:47,190
get arrested in costume.
305
00:11:47,223 --> 00:11:48,860
Luis, you're not gonna
need these.
306
00:11:48,893 --> 00:11:51,365
Hey, let me have your attention
for a second.
307
00:11:51,398 --> 00:11:55,273
No one needs to look
for another job, okay?
308
00:11:55,306 --> 00:11:57,778
We are fighting this thing,
309
00:11:57,811 --> 00:12:01,184
and Neil Bremer
doesn't lose fights,
310
00:12:01,218 --> 00:12:03,155
except once at Fred Segal.
311
00:12:03,188 --> 00:12:07,230
I hit on Coco,
and Ice-T loves his Coco.
312
00:12:07,263 --> 00:12:08,833
Anyway, just--
313
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:11,505
This recall petition
is gonna fail.
314
00:12:11,538 --> 00:12:14,812
It's our opponents
that need to be worried.
315
00:12:14,845 --> 00:12:16,148
They think
they're gonna collect
316
00:12:16,181 --> 00:12:19,220
300,000 signatures?
317
00:12:19,254 --> 00:12:21,224
Well, guess what?
318
00:12:21,258 --> 00:12:22,995
Time's running out.
319
00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:25,333
Do you think that people
will remember this
320
00:12:25,366 --> 00:12:26,869
a year from now?
321
00:12:26,903 --> 00:12:29,441
No, but people will remember
322
00:12:29,474 --> 00:12:32,480
that they went to space
in an elevator.
323
00:12:32,513 --> 00:12:36,054
The TV is making a fool
of you!
324
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,461
I just want to thank
all of my TitiBears
325
00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:42,133
for making this recall happen.
326
00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:44,371
Politics has been
so much fun,
327
00:12:44,404 --> 00:12:45,974
but now I really
just want to focus
328
00:12:46,008 --> 00:12:48,445
on my partnership with Stormp.
329
00:12:49,582 --> 00:12:51,451
I love them so much,
330
00:12:51,485 --> 00:12:53,022
and I'll be here all day
331
00:12:53,055 --> 00:12:56,261
helping them sell...
shoes, I guess.
332
00:13:08,152 --> 00:13:10,456
- Hey.
- Hey.
333
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:15,399
I could be the first mayor
since 1938 to get recalled.
334
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:17,503
Well, there still is a way
that we could stop this
335
00:13:17,537 --> 00:13:19,140
if we can convince
enough people
336
00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:20,409
to remove their names
from the petition
337
00:13:20,443 --> 00:13:22,380
before the deadline.
- Come on, you kidding me?
338
00:13:22,413 --> 00:13:25,252
How are we going to walk back
100,000 signatures?
339
00:13:25,286 --> 00:13:27,591
Okay, would any
of the signatures count
340
00:13:27,624 --> 00:13:29,394
if we legally
changed your name?
341
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:31,599
They can recall Neil Bremer
all they want,
342
00:13:31,632 --> 00:13:34,204
but Carmine Italiano--
343
00:13:34,237 --> 00:13:36,174
No, sir, we need to
fight fire with fire.
344
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,412
What if we got our own high-
profile people to support us?
345
00:13:38,445 --> 00:13:39,882
No, no.
346
00:13:39,915 --> 00:13:42,253
There's only one person
with the clout
347
00:13:42,286 --> 00:13:44,257
to get me out of this mess,
348
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:47,463
the same person
who got me in it.
349
00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:51,672
Dan, let's do it.
350
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,275
You ready, Kwapis?
351
00:13:53,308 --> 00:13:54,477
You know what you're gonna
say to the mayor?
352
00:13:54,511 --> 00:13:56,616
No, and the Internet
is no help.
353
00:13:56,649 --> 00:13:59,354
You Googled "How do I tell
my dad I'm cheating on him?"
354
00:13:59,387 --> 00:14:01,091
'Cause that's
what this feels like.
355
00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:02,493
Oh, boy.
356
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:05,299
You've got to fish
or get off the pot here.
357
00:14:05,332 --> 00:14:06,669
If you don't have the guts
358
00:14:06,702 --> 00:14:08,973
to step up
and take this opportunity,
359
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:11,178
then you need to step aside
so I can find somebody else.
360
00:14:11,211 --> 00:14:12,548
I don't know, Arpi.
361
00:14:12,581 --> 00:14:15,186
Maybe I'm not the guy
who steps up
362
00:14:15,219 --> 00:14:16,989
and does stuff, you know?
363
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,560
I'm not a stepper-upper.
364
00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:19,527
I'm the little guy
365
00:14:19,562 --> 00:14:21,198
in the background
who helps the stepper-upper.
366
00:14:23,102 --> 00:14:25,072
I know my role, okay?
367
00:14:25,106 --> 00:14:29,180
I'm just a--
368
00:14:29,214 --> 00:14:31,351
I'll be right back.
369
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,263
Pretty intense out there,
huh?
370
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:38,933
I know.
I can't lose my benefits.
371
00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:40,269
I just got diagnosed with--
- Totally.
372
00:14:40,302 --> 00:14:42,039
So did you get a chance
to talk to James?
373
00:14:42,073 --> 00:14:43,943
Well, it took me a while
to draw him out
374
00:14:43,977 --> 00:14:45,714
because, you know, you have
to be subtle with these things.
375
00:14:45,747 --> 00:14:47,551
So how's the kissing
with Mikaela going?
376
00:14:47,584 --> 00:14:49,487
She told me you're terrible.
- I'm bad?
377
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,091
You should see how she does it.
378
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:53,328
And how exactly do I do it?
379
00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:54,999
I am so glad you asked.
380
00:15:00,777 --> 00:15:02,413
Weird noises?
381
00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:05,019
I am the perfect amount
of vocal.
382
00:15:05,052 --> 00:15:06,722
Oh, it is on.
383
00:15:06,756 --> 00:15:09,093
By the way,
thank you for this.
384
00:15:09,127 --> 00:15:10,463
It's been
a really stressful day,
385
00:15:10,496 --> 00:15:13,335
and it's nice to be reminded
that it could be worse.
386
00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:15,039
I could be straight.
387
00:15:15,072 --> 00:15:16,374
Mm, you're welcome.
388
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:20,216
And that is when I realized
389
00:15:20,249 --> 00:15:21,619
I am one of you.
390
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,324
I'm a Minion.
391
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:26,261
I have the overalls,
I'm pill-shaped,
392
00:15:26,294 --> 00:15:28,098
and I love being told
what to do.
393
00:15:28,131 --> 00:15:30,002
And Mayor Bremer is my Gru,
394
00:15:30,035 --> 00:15:31,404
so I can't leave him, right?
395
00:15:31,438 --> 00:15:34,010
Hey, can my kid
get a picture with it now?
396
00:15:34,043 --> 00:15:37,116
Okay, "its" name is Stuart.
397
00:15:37,150 --> 00:15:38,385
This guy.
398
00:15:38,418 --> 00:15:40,757
It's just that
when I was at Jamba Juice,
399
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:43,596
I always dreamed
of having a job with a chair.
400
00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:45,466
Is a Minion allowed
to want more?
401
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,307
Yeah, true.
402
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,244
People aren't here to see Gru.
403
00:15:51,278 --> 00:15:52,648
They're here to see you
404
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:54,417
because
you have your own movie.
405
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:58,258
I mean, Gru had a cameo
at the end,
406
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:01,531
so it didn't not
have Gru in it.
407
00:16:07,376 --> 00:16:08,478
Gru is just the latest
408
00:16:08,512 --> 00:16:11,552
in a long line
of masters you've served.
409
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:15,492
Dracula, a T-Rex, Ryan Murphy.
410
00:16:15,526 --> 00:16:19,167
So maybe Mayor Bremer
isn't my Gru.
411
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,804
Maybe Mayor Bremer
is my Dracula,
412
00:16:20,837 --> 00:16:22,173
and Arpi is my Gru.
413
00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:28,385
Bee-do, bee-do, bee-do!
414
00:16:28,418 --> 00:16:30,456
Oh, Mikaela, hey.
415
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,594
Look, maybe we take a break
from making out.
416
00:16:32,628 --> 00:16:34,732
I think you're great at it--
- No, no, no, no, no.
417
00:16:34,765 --> 00:16:36,736
You don't get to treat me
like the weird kisser.
418
00:16:36,769 --> 00:16:39,440
You're the weird kisser.
Why were your eyes open?
419
00:16:39,474 --> 00:16:40,577
'Cause I thought
you were choking.
420
00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:42,380
Well, you tried to lift me up
421
00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:43,650
and then just, like, bailed.
422
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:46,054
Lift? No, no, I was trying
to hold you up
423
00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:47,724
'cause you were going limp.
424
00:16:49,494 --> 00:16:50,797
Oh.
- Ah, ooh, no.
425
00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:52,834
Why is that not better?
426
00:16:52,868 --> 00:16:55,674
Maybe all the tension
between us
427
00:16:55,707 --> 00:16:58,345
just set a crazy-high bar
for real life.
428
00:16:58,378 --> 00:17:00,584
Look, James,
I, um, I like you,
429
00:17:00,617 --> 00:17:02,420
so I'm willing to work through
430
00:17:02,453 --> 00:17:04,558
whatever this weirdness is,
431
00:17:04,592 --> 00:17:07,330
um, if you are.
432
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:13,241
Oh, wow.
433
00:17:13,275 --> 00:17:14,510
Why--this is so bad.
434
00:17:14,545 --> 00:17:16,616
Did you just eat Sun Chips?
435
00:17:16,649 --> 00:17:18,085
No.
436
00:17:18,118 --> 00:17:19,722
Mm-hmm, thanks.
437
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:21,993
Hi, Titi.
438
00:17:22,026 --> 00:17:24,163
Ooh, Cory, like, rule number
one for weeding out the pedos
439
00:17:24,197 --> 00:17:25,299
is adult man without child.
440
00:17:25,332 --> 00:17:27,336
No, no, it's Mayor Bremer.
441
00:17:27,370 --> 00:17:28,873
Oh, snap!
442
00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:30,209
And you want a job.
443
00:17:30,242 --> 00:17:31,411
No, no.
444
00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:33,382
I'm just looking
to keep the one I have.
445
00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:36,521
TitiB, this recall
is bad for business.
446
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,392
Mm, yours, not mine.
447
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,630
Yeah, revenues are up for Q2.
448
00:17:40,664 --> 00:17:42,233
Which is why you need me.
449
00:17:42,266 --> 00:17:44,270
See, I think it's ingenious
450
00:17:44,304 --> 00:17:46,508
that you reduced
your tax liability
451
00:17:46,541 --> 00:17:48,846
by calling your dogs employees.
452
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,082
Well, at Titi Corp,
453
00:17:50,115 --> 00:17:53,589
we don't think in terms
of employer-employee.
454
00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:55,392
It's a flat structure.
455
00:17:55,426 --> 00:17:56,696
Ah, yeah.
456
00:17:56,729 --> 00:17:59,233
But what if whoever replaces me
457
00:17:59,267 --> 00:18:01,237
is not so business-friendly?
458
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:02,540
See, you need to know
459
00:18:02,574 --> 00:18:05,512
that the mayor has
your best interests at heart.
460
00:18:05,547 --> 00:18:07,483
Yeah, I do.
461
00:18:07,516 --> 00:18:09,655
For instance,
I know your neighborhood
462
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:13,228
only grants two parking
permits per address,
463
00:18:13,261 --> 00:18:14,698
but you have 18 cars.
464
00:18:14,732 --> 00:18:16,267
Well, that I know of.
465
00:18:16,301 --> 00:18:18,438
Is that's something
the mayor's office could fix?
466
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,877
If the right person is mayor.
467
00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:21,846
Yeah, I mean,
468
00:18:21,879 --> 00:18:25,152
we can't have some rando
just running the city.
469
00:18:25,185 --> 00:18:26,287
Exactly.
470
00:18:26,321 --> 00:18:27,891
I should be mayor.
471
00:18:27,924 --> 00:18:29,895
- What? What was that? Sorry?
- Oh, my God!
472
00:18:29,928 --> 00:18:32,500
I'm obsessed with this idea.
- Thank you.
473
00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:41,418
So if you live in
Los Angeles, vote TitiB in the upcoming
recall election.
474
00:18:41,451 --> 00:18:42,386
If you're not 18,
475
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,823
tell your parents
to vote for me,
476
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,392
or else you'll date
Scott Disick.
477
00:18:45,426 --> 00:18:48,700
Oh, Christ.
478
00:18:48,733 --> 00:18:50,737
Is this a bad time, sir?
479
00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:52,774
Rhetorical.
I know it's terrible.
480
00:18:52,808 --> 00:18:54,477
But we still need to talk.
481
00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:56,749
Yeah.
482
00:18:56,782 --> 00:18:59,520
We have a re-election
campaign to start.
483
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,759
Speaking of, do you remember
484
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,696
the conversation
we had the other week?
485
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,867
The one where
you yelled at me
486
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,738
or the one where
you yelled at me?
487
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:09,675
They're all blurring together, Arpi.
488
00:19:09,708 --> 00:19:12,313
The one about me running
for mayor in the next election.
489
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,824
Right, and the next election
490
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:21,832
is happening a lot sooner
than we thought.
491
00:19:29,247 --> 00:19:30,482
Okay.
492
00:19:30,516 --> 00:19:32,721
Which one of us
is having a stroke?
493
00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:34,858
I'm sorry. It's just,
494
00:19:34,892 --> 00:19:36,862
I'm a Minion, sir,
495
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:39,868
and it's time for a new master.
496
00:19:39,902 --> 00:19:42,339
I'm leaving to go run
Arpi's campaign.
497
00:19:43,008 --> 00:19:45,880
I have prepared a song to
express my feelings right now.
498
00:19:45,914 --> 00:19:48,385
It is to the tune
of "Mambo No. 5."
499
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:50,890
- Sir--
- Fine.
500
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:53,028
Quit like everyone else.
I don't care.
501
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,230
I know you don't mean that.
You would miss me,
502
00:19:54,263 --> 00:19:56,802
especially since I went
through the fine print
503
00:19:56,836 --> 00:19:59,040
of the procedures for recalling
state and local officials,
504
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,511
and there are very specific
formatting requirements
505
00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:02,480
for the recall petition,
506
00:20:02,513 --> 00:20:03,983
requirements that
the recall petition officers
507
00:20:04,016 --> 00:20:05,452
didn't follow.
See, they submitted everything
508
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:08,626
in 13-point Times New Roman
instead of 14.
509
00:20:08,659 --> 00:20:09,628
It's invalid!
510
00:20:09,661 --> 00:20:11,832
We can kill the recall!
511
00:20:12,768 --> 00:20:13,770
What have I done?
512
00:20:13,803 --> 00:20:15,405
Why is no one high-fiving me?
513
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,543
I never do this.
This is special.
514
00:20:18,646 --> 00:20:20,950
Because...
515
00:20:20,984 --> 00:20:23,790
we're not killing the recall.
516
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,427
It's still happening.
517
00:20:26,461 --> 00:20:28,398
I'm sorry, Tommy.
518
00:20:28,431 --> 00:20:30,870
I'm not gonna hide behind
a technicality
519
00:20:30,904 --> 00:20:32,841
when so many Angelenos,
520
00:20:32,874 --> 00:20:34,845
including two of my own staff,
521
00:20:34,878 --> 00:20:36,514
no longer think
I should be mayor.
522
00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:37,316
I would like some credit
523
00:20:37,349 --> 00:20:39,287
for resisting the urge
to point out
524
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,659
that I never thought
you should be mayor.
525
00:20:41,692 --> 00:20:43,896
So we're just giving up?
526
00:20:43,930 --> 00:20:45,800
No, no, no, no, no.
527
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:47,069
Because I still believe
528
00:20:47,102 --> 00:20:51,277
that I'm the right person
for the job.
529
00:20:52,714 --> 00:20:55,319
And I'm gonna prove it.
530
00:20:55,352 --> 00:20:58,058
I'm just so proud of you, sir.
531
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,995
I'm so sorry
I cheated on you, Dad.
532
00:21:02,734 --> 00:21:05,707
See you in the Thunderdome.
533
00:21:16,996 --> 00:21:18,532
Oh, okay.
534
00:21:18,566 --> 00:21:20,035
I don't blame you.
535
00:21:20,068 --> 00:21:22,974
You're young,
and there's a recall on.
536
00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,526
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
39035
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