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1
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,719
Wow.
2
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:14,473
I can't believe
you sleep in a bed every night.
3
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:19,686
Ooh, a girl could really get
used to this pillow business.
4
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,605
Yep, I could've used one.
5
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:25,943
God. Hey, would you mind
rubbing this knot in my shoulder, Nancy?
6
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,819
Hey, hey, hey.
7
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,238
You know the rules.
8
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:34,785
This is a fake relationship,
so I am not rubbing any of your man parts.
9
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,079
I mean, technically,
everyone has shoulders.
10
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,248
Ooh, now how about we head downstairs
11
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:43,418
and get that living Butler to make us
something to smell for breakfast?
12
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:44,503
You mean Sam?
13
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:45,879
She's actually a writer
14
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,883
and a small business owner,
she's not our Butler.
15
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,384
Oh, okay, okay.
16
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,135
Too good to be a Butler.
17
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,930
You know, when I was alive,
women couldn't even be a Butler.
18
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,307
You could be a wench,
a midwife or a whore.
19
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,310
Oh. Well, that's not something
20
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,479
I feel particularly
compelled to follow up on.
21
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:15,701
Oh, that's bela.
She'll be here in an hour.
22
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:20,247
And now you'll probably explain
to a room full of ghosts who bela is.
23
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,666
I mean, was curious, yes.
24
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:23,917
Bela's Jay's sister.
25
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,436
She lives in Boston,
she's coming to visit.
26
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,254
- Oh.
- Oh, must be nice.
27
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,673
All my sisters died before the age of two.
28
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,426
Damn, Isaac, we ain't even
smelled our morning coffee yet.
29
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,320
Bela's boyfriend
broke up with her last week,
30
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,024
so she's coming to stay to clear her head.
31
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,723
How is she doing now, Jay?
32
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,642
I talked to her a few days ago,
and she's still really down.
33
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,603
- Oh, that's great.
- Excuse me?
34
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,187
No, I mean, it's awful.
35
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,522
It's just, you know,
36
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,899
I excel in helping girlfriends
get over breakups.
37
00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,360
I hope she really likes
the legally blonde franchise,
38
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,696
'cause that is gonna be
a big part of her next 48 hours.
39
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,741
Okay, let's just try
not to act too excited.
40
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:56,992
Sorry, sorry.
41
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,995
It's just, I thought this could be
a chance for she and I to finally bond.
42
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,872
Look, I don't have siblings,
43
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,458
so when you and I got married,
I thought bela and I
44
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,501
could become sisters,
but that hasn't happened.
45
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,003
Excuse me,
46
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,589
but in what room will
this bela be sleeping?
47
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:12,549
Oh, right. Well, I guess one of you guys
48
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,473
will have to give up
your room for the weekend.
49
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,679
- Sorry.
- Okay.
50
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,848
I have plan.
51
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,558
Thor, we can't kill bela.
52
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:25,687
It's not what I was
going to say, but, uh,
53
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:28,940
give Thor a moment to think
of what I was going to say.
54
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:31,401
Not kill.
55
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,153
Troops,
56
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,423
Samantha has informed us that
one of us will be required
57
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,366
to forfeit our rooms.
58
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,135
Can't the sister just
take the empty bedroom?
59
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,285
We offered that,
60
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:43,121
but Samantha is aware
of the mold and the draft.
61
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,308
You got to sell the view.
When I was pushing penny stocks,
62
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,708
you think I emphasized the risk?
63
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,502
No, you shine that turd.
64
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:49,836
I call not it.
65
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,171
Is unbreakable oath.
66
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,256
Oh, please, that is how
children make decisions.
67
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,925
But also, not it.
68
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,968
Trevor is the most recently dead,
let him take it.
69
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,513
Ooh, that's how we divvied
things up in the first place.
70
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,849
This time we do it
in reserve order of seniority.
71
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,644
Thor not like this.
This is bad outcome for Thor.
72
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,818
-The sanctity of my room will not be—-
-hey! Hey! Guys!
73
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,820
I can't stand to watch you fight.
74
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,321
- I will take the room.
- Oh.
75
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,614
- You sure, Pete?
- Yeah.
76
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,175
You know,
a little mold never hurt anybody.
77
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,385
It'll be like camping.
78
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:23,537
Then it's settled. Thank you, Pete,
for your sacrifice, and for your sake,
79
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,722
I hope that the rain holds out
80
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,307
so you don't have to deal
with that pesky leak.
81
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,960
Uh? Oh, sorry...
The-the... there's a leak in there now?
82
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,503
Be even more like camping.
83
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:32,879
- —True.
- Nature.
84
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,007
Nature. Yay!
85
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,596
Okay, that must be her.
86
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,141
Let the girl bonding begin.
87
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,520
Ll uncool Jay.
88
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,273
- 'Cause that never gets old.
- —Hey.
89
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,859
- Hey.
- Hey, Sam.
90
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,027
Hi. Oh, I don't need a nickname,
91
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,280
but Manhattan Sam chowder
could be something
92
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,573
if you're looking for one.
93
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,616
What? You mean new england?
94
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,868
Manhattan is a soup, as well.
95
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:06,705
It's also where I lived, so...
It's tomato-based.
96
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,790
This is painful.
97
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:11,042
Yeah, I can't watch this.
98
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:15,589
Oh, this place is epic. Okay.
99
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:19,176
- It is so good to see you guys.
- It's good to see you, too.
100
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,344
I wish it could have been
under better circumstances.
101
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,722
Oh, but don't worry. I have
the perfect night planned
102
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,474
to help you get over that jerk.
103
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:29,352
- Oh, guys, it's cool. I'm so over him.
- What's that?
104
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,271
- I met someone new.
- Already?
105
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,481
Wow.
106
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,025
So you don't need, like,
any cheering up at all, huh?
107
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,069
- —That's great.
- There goes that plan.
108
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:41,448
Yeah, I set my dating profile
to the Hudson valley a couple days ago,
109
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,909
'cause I knew I was gonna be
up here, and then boom,
110
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,911
I matched with this insanely hot guy.
111
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,704
We've been messaging,
112
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,080
and we're really vibing.
113
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,349
Do you want to see him?
114
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,708
Yeah, sure.
115
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,544
Oh, dang. I got to stop
leaving my house on 17%.
116
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,922
Well, I'm gonna drop my bags
and grab a charge.
117
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,006
I'll show you the way.
118
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,844
Sorry Jay's sister's not devastated, Sam.
119
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,847
Yes, we are here for you.
120
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,474
Thanks, guys.
121
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:13,230
So, you just gave away our
pillow palace to some rando's sister?
122
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,065
It's not some rando. It's Jay.
123
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,150
Who the hell's Jay?
124
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:19,027
- Sam's husband?
- Huh?
125
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,196
The living Butler's husband?
126
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,616
Oh, face it, Pete. You're a pushover.
127
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:28,161
Because I gave in on one little thing
in the interest of house Harmony?
128
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:31,164
You didn't give in on one thing.
You give in on everything.
129
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,541
You told me yourself
130
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,543
you never get to pick the movie
on movie night.
131
00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,710
Well, that's true.
132
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:38,839
And you're always the caboose
in the massage train.
133
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,883
- I mean, someone's got to be.
- Why can't it be a circle, huh?
134
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,178
That way, everyone gets
their man parts rubbed.
135
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,806
Again, shoulders are not specific to men.
136
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:51,518
You start standing up for yourself
and get our room back,
137
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:55,146
or I will tell everyone
our relationship is fake
138
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:58,233
and that you have a huge crush on alberta.
139
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,294
You know, there's a certain irony
140
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,779
to you strong-arming me
into being less of a pushover.
141
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,282
That did not escape me, Pete.
142
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,871
Housekeeping.
143
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,414
And we are charged.
144
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,392
- Do you want to see the guy?
- Oh. Yes, please.
145
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,251
Okay, now, he's not my normal type.
146
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,670
He comes off as this, like,
douchey finance bro.
147
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,297
And he is a little,
148
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,090
but he's also, like, really sensitive.
149
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,886
Damn, bela!
150
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,555
- —Get it, girl. This dude is hot.
- Right?
151
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,224
Oh, my god.
152
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,270
He's really something.
153
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,730
I can explain.
154
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,279
Look, I don't see what's wrong.
I mean, that guy seems great.
155
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,115
Not to mention, so dreamy.
156
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,700
- Wow. That's so kind.
- No.
157
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,178
I don't want another word out of you
unless it's explaining why
158
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,762
my sister-in-law was chatting
to a guy with your profile picture.
159
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,499
- Whose picture?
- The guy in the photo, it was Trevor.
160
00:06:56,583 --> 00:07:00,211
Trevor? No pants?
The one who keeps hitting on you?
161
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:03,089
How come you never told me
about those cheekbones?
162
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:05,300
- Okay, starting to warm up to this guy.
- You.
163
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,677
Just out with it.
What the hell is going on?
164
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,513
- I may have made myself a dating profile.
- What?
165
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,725
- How?
- Well, it all started a few months back.
166
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,478
I was minding my own business,
hoping I might get lucky
167
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:20,065
and see a painter fall off his ladder.
When you've been dead 20 years,
168
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,834
it's the little things
that really keep you going.
169
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,610
- Please get to the point.
- Right.
170
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,320
Anyway, he took a break,
171
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,989
and nothing prepared me
for what I saw next.
172
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,284
So many women.
173
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,786
So many varieties.
174
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,246
Short women. Tall women. Platinum blondes.
175
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,930
- Dirty blondes. Strawberry blondes.
- This is painful.
176
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,628
The humble craftsman
had shown me a brave new world,
177
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,506
and I knew right away that I wanted in.
178
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,174
So, for the next month, istudied.
179
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:50,178
I learned how to download apps.
I asked all the right questions.
180
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:54,182
Oh, what a cute little stinker.
How exactly did you save that?
181
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,893
- In detail.
- Oh, it's easy.
182
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,063
You just press down,
and the menu pops up, and...
183
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,564
Interesting.
184
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:05,735
And eventually I was ready
to put my plan into action.
185
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,591
He used the kitchen iPad.
186
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,535
I knew we needed
a better password than 1234.
187
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:17,247
You're right. I should have anticipated
a ghost catfishing my sister.
188
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,016
Wait, how did you get
a picture of yourself?
189
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,418
It took weeks of sneaking down
190
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,545
night after night,
working letter by letter.
191
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,089
Sam, I was like Andy Dufresne chiseling
192
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,817
through to a new life
with a little rock hammer.
193
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,134
Andy Dufresne? Who's that?
194
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:30,802
- Seriously? Shawshank.
- Shawshank.
195
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,387
Come on, babe.
196
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,848
Finally, after all that toiling...
197
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,685
It was done.
198
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,895
The perfect profile.
199
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,238
And then, one fateful night,
I started getting matches.
200
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,385
And then two days ago,
I matched with Jay's sister.
201
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,262
And then a couple days ago,
he matched with bela.
202
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,663
They feel pain when
we pass through them, right?
203
00:08:58,747 --> 00:08:59,890
- Jay.
- Is he seri...
204
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,167
Come here! Oh!
205
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,629
Where are you? Ooh.
206
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,423
Oh! Did I get him?
207
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,008
Yeah, really good.
208
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,651
I'm sorry.
209
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,678
The only thing that hurts more
210
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,930
than knowing that I died
before finding true love
211
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:18,159
is knowing that I died before
I could crush it on these apps.
212
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,101
What was your endgame, Trevor?
213
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:22,187
I just wanted the validation, I guess.
214
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,397
But then bela showed up at the house,
and I realized
215
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,816
those are real people on those apps.
216
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,003
Or maybe they're other
super motivated ghosts like me,
217
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,111
but that seems less likely.
218
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:34,032
- Do you have any idea what you've done?
- I'm sorry.
219
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,825
It's really lonely being a ghost.
220
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,749
I miss having that connection
with someone new,
221
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,789
that hope that she might be the one.
222
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,415
I'm never gonna get that again.
223
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,376
No! I'm still mad.
224
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,963
Ooh, Sam, this is really, really bad.
225
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,132
Bela was so upset
when Gabe broke up with her.
226
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,219
Her emoji use was unhinged.
227
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,805
If she finds out she was catfished now...
228
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,681
Well, you wanted a reason to cheer her up.
229
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:03,186
No. I actually wanted to help her
through a normal but difficult situation.
230
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,688
I didn't want her destroyed
by some dead frat bro.
231
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,774
Oh,
we are going to have to play this
232
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,275
very delicately.
233
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,027
I got it.
234
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,487
Trevor has to "move."
235
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,988
Yes.
236
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:16,991
To somewhere far away and unappealing.
237
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:19,435
Because she's my sister, I love her,
but she's very thirsty,
238
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,205
and she could follow him.
I mean, I saw thatjawline.
239
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,289
It's like granite.
240
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,874
Love this guy.
241
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,543
Howdy, folks.
242
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,646
- This will just take a minute.
- What is this?
243
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,148
Isaac and I were in the middle
of a riveting debate on scarves.
244
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,217
You got this, Pete.
Just like we practiced.
245
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,553
Listen up, ghosts.
246
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,055
I have spent the last 40 years
247
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,684
bending over backwards to compromise
for the sake of house Harmony,
248
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,311
but I'm here to tell you I'm done.
249
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,939
I've had it up to my arrow
with all of your applesauce.
250
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,608
It's time for Pete
to finally get what he wants.
251
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,153
And he wants a mold-free room,
252
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:57,365
so one of you is making way
for Pete and his girl.
253
00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,285
If that's amenable to everyone.
254
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,036
Or even if it's not.
255
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,371
- Yeah.
- Also,
256
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,707
I will no longer be the caboose
on the massage train.
257
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,418
I lead it now. I'm the engine.
258
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,545
You hear that?
259
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,255
- Let's go.
- All right.
260
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:17,760
Well, the moment we all feared
has arrived.
261
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,846
Pete's developed a spine.
262
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,557
This is an unfortunate turn of events.
263
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,800
What are y'all talking about?
264
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,328
Pete's finally sticking up for himself,
and you think that's a bad thing?
265
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,480
Need I remind you what it was like
before that Saint of a man
266
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:31,357
was felled by a little girl's arrow?
267
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,359
No one compromised on
anything around here.
268
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,527
Isaac is right.
269
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,196
Pete's spinelessness is
270
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,324
the grease that keeps the wheels
of our little world turning.
271
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:41,534
We had people like Pete in viking society.
272
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,328
We sacrificed them,
273
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:46,789
then gave their blood to please
our gods and prevent famine.
274
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,752
They were respected. Dead but respected.
275
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,630
Well, I like this new Pete.
276
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,923
He's got gumption.
277
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,800
And maybe the answer isn't him
going back to the way he was.
278
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:02,931
Maybe the answer is all of us
actually learning to compromise for once.
279
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,577
- There's got to be a better way.
- —That's not happening.
280
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,980
Hey, bela. What's wrong?
281
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,609
Turns out Trevor's a lying piece of trash.
282
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,653
He told me he's moving to newfoundland,
283
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,737
which sounds made-up.
284
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,781
I told you, we should
have gone with mykonos.
285
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,784
- It could be real.
- Mm, yeah. He could've moved there.
286
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,244
Although, obviously,
287
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:28,164
it's too far and cold
to visit or follow someone to.
288
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,250
Mm, something's off.
289
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:33,336
I'm looking this asshat up.
See if he's even who he says he is.
290
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,130
You don't know his last name.
How could you even do that?
291
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,633
Oh, I just do a reverse image search
with his profile photo.
292
00:12:38,716 --> 00:12:42,011
Oh. That's so cool that you can do that.
293
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:45,473
This picture's from an obituary,
294
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,934
and the guy died 20 years ago.
295
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,411
It's the only picture of me
on the Internet.
296
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,562
Oh, my god. Do you know what this means?
297
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:53,690
I got catfished.
298
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,774
- No.
- What?
299
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,318
This is messed-up.
He is not getting away with this.
300
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,570
"Hey, doucher, I know you're not real.
301
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:03,241
And bt dubs,
catfishing is so ten years ago."
302
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,703
"Who are you?
Some thousand-year-old virgin?"
303
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,835
Bela, wait.
304
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,550
Why does that sound keep
coming from your iPad?
305
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,194
Great question.
Why don't you hand it over,
306
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,720
and I'll take it to the genius bar.
307
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,098
- —Unlock the iPad, Jay.
- I would, but I-I forgot the passcode.
308
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,351
Well, luckily, it's been the same
since junior high. 1-2-3-4.
309
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,108
You're Trevor?
310
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,991
Okay, I am freaking out right now.
311
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,427
Bela, it's not what it looks like.
312
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:49,871
We just invited you up to the house
because we wanted to cheer you up.
313
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,623
You thought creating Trevor
would cheer me up?
314
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,208
- Ew. No.
- Oh, no.
315
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,294
You didn't think
I could find a real man again,
316
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,839
so you created a fake one to flirt with me
and compliment my smile.
317
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,175
- I really meant that.
- And you made up a guy
318
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,053
that is exactly everything
I'm looking for.
319
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,722
Someone who loves clubbing
and the Hamptons
320
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,682
and jam bands from the late '90s.
321
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,434
We're freaking meant for each other.
322
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,602
That's not what happened.
323
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,687
- Then what did happen?
- I...
324
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,523
Don't have a good explanation.
325
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,108
You guys are sick.
326
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,651
I'm packing my bags and leaving.
327
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,572
I mean, we sexted.
328
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,115
Ugh!
329
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,910
I didn't know it had a name.
330
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:34,082
That's Hetty, alberta, oh, and me.
Three against one.
331
00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:37,085
Thor, you must give up your room
to Pete and the filthy one.
332
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:39,545
Mm-mm. Thor not moving.
333
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:40,963
But we voted.
334
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:44,550
- Thor not believe in democracy.
- Oh, how convenient.
335
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:46,511
Fine. I change my vote to Isaac.
336
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,471
- Me, too.
- Weasels!
337
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,555
All of you.
338
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,950
They're hurting each other's feelings.
I have to put a stop to this.
339
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,018
Oh, here we go.
340
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:57,897
Spineless Pete worming his
way back to the surface.
341
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,066
Do you want to know
why I compromise, Nancy?
342
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:03,152
- Yeah.
- I'm modeling for these people.
343
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,796
Yes, it's been 40 years, and, yes,
they're not exactly picking up
344
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,324
what I'm laying down,
but I believe in them.
345
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,243
They have good in them.
346
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,787
And, eventually,
they're gonna get there.
347
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,623
And until that time,
I'm gonna keep setting an example.
348
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:20,253
That's bs. You're just scared
of someone not liking you.
349
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,588
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, you wimp.
350
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:23,798
That is enough!
351
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,049
Powder off your wig.
352
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,343
I cannot take one more
minute of your bullying!
353
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,012
You want me to stand up
for myself and have a spine?
354
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,682
Well, here we go! It is over between us.
355
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,226
I am done listening to you.
356
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,995
So if you have something
you want to say to everyone,
357
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,855
- you just go ahead and say it.
- Fine!
358
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,988
I'm going back down to the basement
359
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:51,033
'cause I just broke up
with my very real boyfriend
360
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,244
and, also, 'cause you all suck,
361
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:57,165
and I'd rather be with the
cholera pit people. Huh.
362
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,281
Proud of you, petey.
363
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,673
Now, you listen up good.
364
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,258
I'm taking the moldy room,
365
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,181
and I don't want to hear
another word about it.
366
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,973
Yeah. That's what I thought.
367
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,100
Does that mean she's single now, or...?
368
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:18,769
Bela.
369
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,354
I have nothing to say to you two.
370
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:22,624
No, no, you have to trust
that we weren't trying to hurt you.
371
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,376
It doesn't matter
what you were trying to do.
372
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,777
You thought I was so pathetic
that the best way
373
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:29,238
to help me was to concoct some giant lie.
374
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:33,618
I don't think I'll ever be able
to forgive you.
375
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,663
- It was a ghost.
- What?
376
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,540
Babe, are you sure about this?
377
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,584
Look, I know that this
is gonna sound crazy,
378
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,128
but if it has any chance of
salvaging this relationship,
379
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,421
I have to come clean.
380
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,842
A few months ago, I fell down the stairs
and I went into a coma.
381
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,445
Thank you for the flowers, by the way.
382
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:53,596
And when I woke up, I could see ghosts.
383
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,432
Trevor died in this house 20 years ago.
384
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,809
And he doesn't wear pants,
which may not seem relevant,
385
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,954
but it's something I have to know,
and now you do too.
386
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,480
Anyhow, somehow,
387
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,273
he managed to create a dating profile,
388
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,026
and the important part of the story is,
I see ghosts.
389
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,279
And besides Jay,
you're the only person I've ever told.
390
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,448
I know this must be
391
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,076
difficult to believe,
but I sincerely hope you do.
392
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,078
Honestly, Sam,
393
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,162
get help.
394
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,333
Bela.
395
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:24,669
Bela, hold up.
396
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:28,005
Look, I'm not crazy,
or at least I'm not lying.
397
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,132
And I can prove it. Thor, lights.
398
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,342
Sam, chair!
399
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,094
No, get the lights.
400
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,554
Oh, right, yes.
401
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:39,809
What was that?
402
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,435
Alberta, hum us a tune.
403
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:42,603
Oh, finally.
404
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,280
Okay, that's a trick.
Secret switches, speakers.
405
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,574
- Dsaac?
- Hmm? What? Oh, uh, you know what?
406
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,243
- No, I'll pass. Thank you.
- Isaac, please.
407
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,619
Fine.
408
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,458
Oh! That is nasty.
409
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:07,753
- Okay, it's no picnic for me either.
- Okay, what is happening?
410
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,213
You just met some of the ghosts.
411
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,341
I can tell you what's in your bag. Pete.
412
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:17,805
- We got a pair of hiking boots...
- A pair of hiking boots.
413
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:18,889
A beanie.
414
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,618
- Three unread back issues of...
- Three unread back issues
415
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,769
of the new yorker.
And... I'm just saying this
416
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,855
to prove a point—- a personal massager.
417
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,607
Oh, why you got to tell me that?
418
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,443
How many fingers am I holding up?
419
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:35,615
- Three.
- Holy crap.
420
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,034
You can see ghosts?
421
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,411
What is personal massager?
422
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,083
So, ghosts don't eat,
423
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,168
but they sleep?
424
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,437
And they don't go to the bathroom?
425
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,630
Then what about... you know?
426
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:54,050
- Yeah, surprisingly, that one's a yes.
- Wow.
427
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,260
And, like,
could a ghost do it with a human?
428
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,988
No. You know what?
I'm not there yet.
429
00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:00,306
Please don't tell anyone about this, bela.
430
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,599
Your secret's safe with me.
431
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,728
Hey, am I really the only one
you've told besides Jay?
432
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,606
- Yeah.
- Wow, I can't believe that.
433
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,690
That really means a lot.
434
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,794
Kind of makes me feel really
close to you.
435
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:15,321
- Is that stupid?
- No, I don't think that's stupid.
436
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,156
You know, I always
kind of wanted a sister.
437
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,367
Instead, all I got was this dork.
438
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:21,661
She made me wear a dress till I was five.
439
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,870
Did you say "sister"?
440
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,747
Yeah, don't be an idiot about it.
441
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,708
Don't you be an idiot about it.
442
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,670
- —Jay, I'm doing sister banter.
- Nice work, babe.
443
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,090
I'd like to say goodbye
to bela if I could.
444
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,300
I don't think anybody wants
to hear from you.
445
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,904
- What?
- Oh, it's a ghost thing.
446
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:41,222
- You'll get used to it pretty fast.
- Trevor's here. He wants a word.
447
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,516
It's okay. I'm willing to hear him out.
448
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:44,767
Really?
449
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:45,893
Fine.
450
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,872
Okay, this is gonna be awkward for me,
so I'm gonna leave the three of you to it.
451
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,232
Or however many of you there are.
452
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,235
Okay, Trevor, this better be good.
453
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,153
Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you.
454
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,406
"Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you."
455
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:01,158
But the connection that we had,
that wasn't a lie.
456
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,577
I meant every word that I said.
457
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:07,915
"I do love your eyes and your smile."
458
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,208
And your boobs.
459
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,546
- You forgot the boobs.
- Nope. Just keep going.
460
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,966
I talk a big game,
461
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,426
but the truth is,
462
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,970
I really did want to find
someone to spend my life with,
463
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,222
and I didn't.
464
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,142
Life is way too short.
465
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,685
I used to think that was
466
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,271
a dumb thing that people said,
but it's really true.
467
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,650
Go find yourself someone
who's as incredible as you.
468
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,237
Because that's what you deserve.
469
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,072
"Because that's what you deserve."
470
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,742
Thank you, Trevor.
471
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:44,243
Also, please send nudes.
472
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,411
And we're done.
36351
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