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1
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:14,306
Hey! I noticed someone
ate all the oreos I bought,
2
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,159
which is crazy because
I've had them in the house
3
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,851
for less than 24 hours.
4
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:21,396
I didn't want to say anything,
but I think the contractor ate them.
5
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,440
Liar! He is a liar!
6
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,401
- I watched him eat the whole thing.
- Cookie bogarter!
7
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:28,320
Really? The contractor?
8
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,697
Yeah. And if you want
to blow up the renovations
9
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,033
'cause of some cookies,
I got your back 100%,
10
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,676
but I think that might be shortsighted.
11
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,829
I witnessed the gluttonous feast.
It was unseemly.
12
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:39,915
There was shame in the man's eyes.
13
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,084
Wait, what are you looking at?
Is it the ghosts?
14
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,045
Crumbs everywhere! Why not use plate?
15
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,439
They're telling on me, aren't they?
16
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,258
- You are busted.
- This isn't fair.
17
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,511
You got a whole team of spies
watching my every move.
18
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,263
I mean, they don't tell me everything.
19
00:00:54,346 --> 00:00:56,026
Well, one of the cookies
fell to the floor,
20
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,391
after which he ate it.
21
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,935
- Oh, you ate a floor oreo?
- Not cool, guys!
22
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:01,520
Not cool.
23
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:05,190
I would have called it a "flooreo."
That's just my improv training kicking in.
24
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:06,692
"Flooreo."
25
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,319
I wish I possessed the ability
to write that down.
26
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,763
You know, every time I talk
to the contractor,
27
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,765
it's like he adds another
two weeks to the timeline,
28
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:22,249
or five grand to the budget.
29
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,768
Well, you know what? Here's an idea.
30
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,472
Next time we see him, let's just run away.
31
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,587
Bulletproof plan, babe.
32
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,171
Hi, there.
33
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,923
Oh, who's this?
34
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,174
Henry and Margaret farnsby.
35
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,860
Wealthy next-door neighbors.
Total squares.
36
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,821
Henry and Margaret farnsby.
Wealthy next-door neighbors.
37
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,864
- Total squares.
- Did you just say, "total squares?"
38
00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:38,807
Ghost word. I guess they're uptight.
39
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,518
Yeah, man, they're all like, "rules, yay!"
40
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,103
Oh, butterfly.
41
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,648
I'm Margaret farnsby.
This is my husband, Henry.
42
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,233
- Hey.
- We've been dying to swing by,
43
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,651
say welcome.
44
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,486
Drop off some of my
award-winning cupcakes.
45
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,239
First place at the
St. Anne's parish bake sale
46
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,616
seven years running.
47
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,284
Not that we like to brag.
48
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:58,827
He's lying, we love to brag.
49
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:03,165
You are so sweet.
I'm Samantha, this is Jay.
50
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,292
Fair warning, he's a pretty
talented chef himself.
51
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:08,879
Yeah, might give your cupcakes
a run for their money this year, Margaret.
52
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,965
Well, I certainly don't
think that would be appreciated.
53
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,676
Oh, no, I was kidding.
54
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,721
Oh!
55
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:21,892
- Our new neighbors are funny.
- I love it!
56
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,894
Bless you.
57
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,604
Pardon. Uh, allergies.
58
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,982
Sneezing in public. 80 unladylike.
59
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,610
I told her a nip of cocaine
would wipe that hay fever right out,
60
00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:32,819
but does she listen?
61
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,363
I'm sorry, did you say cocaine?
62
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,740
Mm-hmm. Everyone knows cocaine's
excellent for allergies.
63
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,534
Okay, well, in the 19803
it was a schedule ii narcotic.
64
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,455
Well, Peter, in the 18805
it was a medical wonder drug.
65
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,998
From headache to hysteria,
66
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,043
four out of five barbers prefer cocaine.
67
00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:49,795
We heard you're doing some construction,
68
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,171
emphasis on the "heard."
69
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,090
Sorry, it'll just be a little while.
70
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,758
We're fixing the place up.
71
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,321
Yeah, we're gonna turn it into
a pretty sick bed-and-breakfast.
72
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,805
- Pretty sick?
- No—- oh, sick is like, it's a good thing.
73
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:00,889
- Yeah.
- It's like slang.
74
00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,558
Slang and earrings.
75
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,727
That's fun.
76
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,979
I don't love the idea of
a "pretty sick" business
77
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,523
adjoining our property.
78
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,335
Well, you know, I think you're just
getting caught up on that one phrase.
79
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,253
Well, I don't know if you're aware,
but the zoning rules
80
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,697
of our local historical preservation board
81
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,075
require you to seek a permit
to operate as a b and b.
82
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,244
Oh, I'm aware. We've applied
for all the permits.
83
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,388
Oh, yeah, every single one.
84
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,580
Well, I-I don't see this getting approved.
85
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,166
Well, uh, with all due respect,
86
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,043
it's not really up to you.
87
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,920
Actually, it is.
88
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,173
You see, I'm the head
of the preservation board.
89
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,718
Enjoy those cupcakes.
90
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,429
Oh, I loathe the farnsbys.
91
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,390
They've been the woodstone
family rivals for generations.
92
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,810
Oh, yeah, their family were also
robber barons, right?
93
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,688
Yes, but please don't put us
in the same category.
94
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,524
The children that worked in our
factories were far happier.
95
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,777
Hey, hey, Henry! Margaret!
Wait up, wait up, wait up.
96
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,655
Listen, I-I think you got the
wrong impression of us, okay?
97
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:02,701
We're not some young, crazy city folk
trying to run a rock 'n' roll hotel.
98
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:03,952
No. We're not even that cool.
99
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,715
I mean, Jay, he plays with action figures.
100
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,557
Well, I don't play with
them, 'cause if you play
101
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,665
with them it lowers value.
102
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,083
- See? Not cool.
- Okay.
103
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,978
Uh, you know what? Why don't
you guys just come over
104
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,754
for dinner tonight, and then you'll see.
105
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:16,131
You'll see, we're just a normal couple.
106
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:20,719
Well, I suppose I wouldn't mind
a meal from a professional chef.
107
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,012
Yes, we'd love to come.
108
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,096
Great.
109
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,700
- Already got dessert.
- Oh.
110
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:27,392
I just want to pet you.
111
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,977
Whee-hee-hee.
112
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,354
So, I'm thinking we go
full charm offensive.
113
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,238
We butter them up, and then we reopen
the discussion about the b and b.
114
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,650
Mm-hmm.
115
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,653
Oh! This is too much food
for just two people.
116
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,739
Wait a minute, are we having
a dinner party?
117
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,009
Yeah, we sort of made
a bad impression on the neighbors.
118
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,159
Yeah, I know. I was there.
119
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,411
- Oh, Pete just came in.
- The arrow guy?
120
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,290
Or the award-winning
travel agent or the great dad.
121
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,751
But sure, arrow guy, let's go with that.
122
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,044
So, what time is soup on?
123
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,129
You know, it's kind of a big night for us,
124
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,298
so I was sort of hoping
maybe you guys would
125
00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,424
just give us some space.
126
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,676
Uh, yes, sir, Pete, you gots to go.
127
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,429
- No ghosts allowed.
- But we love dinner parties.
128
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,474
The smells, the fashions,
the banter.
129
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,267
But sure, there's other stuff we can do.
130
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,644
- Yeah, is that okay?
- Yeah.
131
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,371
There's a spider in
the attic that's spinning
132
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,772
some pretty interesting stuff.
133
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,083
Oh, and I haven't tried to
remember all the Star Trek characters'
134
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,108
names in a bit.
135
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,236
I mean, there's Spock, obviously.
136
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,506
What is she talking about,
we can't attend the dinner party?
137
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,824
- Who is coming?
- Well, the farnsbys.
138
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,743
All the more reason to have us.
They're terrible company.
139
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,246
No, Samantha will be
appreciative we're there.
140
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,974
She actually explicitly said
she'd appreciate it if we were not there.
141
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,628
But there hasn't been a dinner party here
in over a decade. This isn't fair.
142
00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,547
Ah, I live for dinner parties.
143
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:41,800
The repartee,
the gentle mocking of the hostess
144
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,093
when she leaves the room.
145
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,570
"You call those potatoes, Abigail?"
146
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,721
That kind of thing, you know.
147
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,224
- It's settled. We shall attend.
- Yes.
148
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,684
Wait, what are we attending?
149
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,436
Guys, she was really adamant.
She does not want us there.
150
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,232
Oh, fine. Then,
as a compromise for Samantha,
151
00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,569
I shall limit the guest list to me
and three ghosts of my choosing.
152
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,195
No, that is not what she wants.
153
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,198
- Wait, why do you get to choose?
- Because I built this house.
154
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:06,884
And that smart aleck question,
along with your
155
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,988
incomplete formal attire,
leaves you out in the cold.
156
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,453
You can't keep me out.
157
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,498
No, but Thor can, as my muscle
and my dear honored guest.
158
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,626
- Yes! Made list!
- Congratulations.
159
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,211
The other two attendees shall be...
160
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,755
Alberta and Isaac.
161
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,674
Huzzah!
162
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,843
I had plans, but I'll move
some things around.
163
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,929
Okay, this is insane. When I was alive,
I threw the party.
164
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,223
I made the par... I was the party.
165
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,934
Hetty, please. I need this.
166
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,979
This sad display certainly made
me confident in my decision.
167
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,904
Welcome to our humble abode.
168
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,030
Thank you.
169
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:48,033
We brought you a bottle
from our private collection.
170
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,703
- Thank you.
- Damn, that is some good shh... chardonnay.
171
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,288
Let me show you to the dining room.
172
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:57,626
Presenting neighbors
Henry and Margaret farnsby.
173
00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,878
- Thor, what are you doing?
- Hetty told me to.
174
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,047
Oh, no.
175
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:05,842
Samantha, is this tablecloth a joke?
It is for a picnic.
176
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,761
Ooh. What vintage is that? Let me see.
177
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,431
No...
178
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,517
A... woodstone mansion tradition!
179
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,605
He is so funny.
And you are so clumsy.
180
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,148
Service!
181
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,863
So what do you guys do for fun?
182
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,033
You know what we've just recently
discovered is pickleball.
183
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,786
- Mm.
- Fastest growing sport in america.
184
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,597
- That's true.
- Boring!
185
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:38,041
Thor tell better story of time he battled
pack of wolves.
186
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,209
- But it's not squash.
- No.
187
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,020
- —That's a common misconception.
- Mm-hmm.
188
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,420
She-wolf lunge at Thor.
189
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:45,632
Thor grab she-wolf by neck,
gouge eyes and then punch
190
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,676
in genital!
191
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,969
- Any other sports.
- Mm.
192
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,845
I'm sorry. Is it my drinking?
193
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,013
Am I overdoing it?
194
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,765
I told you, honey, people notice.
195
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:57,394
Oh, no, no, I just had an itch on my neck.
If anything, you're not drinking enough.
196
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,521
Little more?
197
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,982
Thor! No one at a classy dinner party
198
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,317
wants to hear about you murdering
a pack of wolves!
199
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,236
Tell me more about pickleball.
200
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,572
Cammy macgregor, Tyson mcguffin...
These are some of the giants of the sport.
201
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,676
Not literal giants, of course.
202
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:16,121
Height is a huge disadvantage
in pickleball...
203
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,580
Psst. Hey. Hetty.
204
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,582
Not on the list. Security?
205
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,876
Because of the height of the net and...
206
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,753
- Sorry.
- I'm actually here for Trevor.
207
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,422
The poor guy seems really torn up.
208
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,799
Now, I know Hetty said no,
but what do you think, Sam?
209
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:30,082
Which is often
mispronounced as "bad-mitten."
210
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,553
Sam.
211
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,096
Oh, no. Can she not hear us anymore?
212
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,639
- Hey, Sam?
- No silent n.
213
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,683
- Sam? Sam!
- —Uh, but, uh...
214
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,226
Enough.
215
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,895
Of sitting around this table. Am I right?
216
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,565
Jay, why don't you take
our guests for a tour?
217
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,067
Okay. Yeah.
218
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:50,530
Huh, it's a little bit weird, but...
It was an awfully creamy bisque.
219
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,157
Just follow me this way
220
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,784
and we'll walk that cream
right off.
221
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,246
Okay, you guys have to behave.
222
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,049
There is a lot
riding on this dinner for us.
223
00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:01,207
Like what?
224
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876
Details aren't important.
225
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,045
Maybe we get general area?
226
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:07,630
Fine. We have to win over the farnsbys
227
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,442
so they give us a permit
to open our b and b.
228
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,218
But we don't want the b and b.
229
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,471
I know. That's why
I was hiding it from you.
230
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,848
A few guests at a dinner party
we can deal with,
231
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:20,435
but a full hotel? My god, that'd be chaos.
232
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,163
Oh, I wasn't thinking
it'd be anything like that.
233
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,606
I thought it'd be small and quaint,
like the inn on newhart.
234
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,000
Is that what you were thinking, Sam?
235
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,568
I don't know what newhart is,
but I like that you're on my side.
236
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:32,113
Really? Delightful sitcom
about a stammering innkeeper?
237
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,324
Nothing? It was
really popular in the '80s.
238
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,159
I wasn't even alive in the 803, Pete.
239
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,369
Well, I'm not alive now
but I still love newhart.
240
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,371
We don't want hotel!
241
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,998
- Absolutely not.
- Mm-mm. No.
242
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,459
Well, you should want hotel,
because no hotel, no me.
243
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:45,752
Who helps you watch TV?
244
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,713
Who is writing your memoir?
245
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,132
Well, actually, on that,
I do have a few notes.
246
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,094
If we can't build the b and b,
we're gonna have to sell this place.
247
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,595
And god knows who would buy it.
248
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,806
Certainly not somebody
who can actually see you
249
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,850
and do things for you and help
make your afterlives better.
250
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,436
So unless you want to throw all that away,
251
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,687
I'm gonna need your help.
252
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,732
All right. We will help,
but it will be begrudgingly.
253
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,985
Well?
254
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:13,863
It was a hard no.
You're still not invited.
255
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,324
- Ugh. Bummer.
- Come on.
256
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,087
Trevor, you are not taking this well, huh?
257
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:21,287
Okay, look, I never
told anyone this, but...
258
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:27,836
In 1999, I was left off the guest list
for a fourth of July party on a yacht.
259
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,546
There were Maxim models there.
260
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,005
There was...
261
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,008
A vodka luge that looked like cleavage.
262
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:40,473
And I heard that a guy from bear stearns
made out with Natasha henstridge.
263
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:46,437
That could've been me, Pete.
That could've been me.
264
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,940
Trevor, I did not understand that story
265
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,776
or the points you were making,
but I am so sorry.
266
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:54,154
Being left out hurts.
267
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,906
One time, my throuple
made love without me.
268
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,700
Just the two of them.
269
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,161
How does that even work?
270
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,705
Okay, guys. This isn't over.
271
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,999
If you like ordinance 6.B.12,
272
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:10,086
you are going to love ordinance 6.B.13.
273
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,380
- I'm at the edge of my seat.
- Makes two of us.
274
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,673
Oh, gadzooks,
275
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,966
what a couple of iickspittles.
276
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,760
Excuse me, didn't Sam instruct us
to clam up our kissers?
277
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,096
Yes. If I can reserve comment
278
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,491
on Sam's whorish lipstick,
the rest of you can hold your tongues.
279
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,059
To smaller lots and...
280
00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,937
Uh, everything all right?
281
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:32,609
Yes. H was just checking my makeup,
which, if anything,
282
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,944
is conservative by today's standards.
283
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,781
Let's say I want to turn
the garage into a man cave.
284
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,701
- Now, that is a very interesting question.
- Mm.
285
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,370
Uh, the garage constitutes
an existing structure,
286
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,539
the demolition of which
is strictly prohibited.
287
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,958
But, uh, making changes to the interior,
288
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:53,171
that only requires permission
from the Mrs. Department.
289
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,798
- M.r.s.?
- The missus.
290
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,384
Oh!
291
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,180
No dinner, no peace!
292
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,141
- No dinner, no peace!
- We're crashing the party!
293
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,392
Oh, god, no.
294
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,496
What is the meaning of this showing up
to a dinner party uninvited? Thorfinn.
295
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,356
Hey, man, this is a nonviolent protest.
296
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,650
Not anymore. Come here.
297
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,236
Ooh, that looks yummy. Are you
gonna finish smelling that?
298
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:17,838
I'm gonna make you my little farm boy!
299
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,073
Well, if everybody's
just doing what they want...
300
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,034
- J' I've had a man... j“
-Thor, you're making them look...
301
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,244
Sam? Sam.
302
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,620
So crazy!
303
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,998
Any changes you like
to the interior of, uh...
304
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:32,001
Oh! His teeth are so sharp!
305
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,420
Hallway now!
306
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,422
Jay, can we please meet
up in the hallway now?
307
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:40,051
We need to check the breaker.
These lights are acting up. Excuse us.
308
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,136
Yeah. Sorry.
309
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,597
Okay,
310
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,474
I'm gonna put this plainly for all of you.
311
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,686
You need to back off and let us
have our dinner party in peace.
312
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,021
Oh, yeah! It's definitely the breaker!
313
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,439
Samantha, I must protest.
314
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,085
We have just as much of a right
to attend this dinner party as you.
315
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,027
No. Because this is our house.
316
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,487
We've been here longer than you.
317
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,739
Yeah, and guess what. We're alive.
318
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:02,991
-Igaspingl -hey.
319
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,534
- Alive?
- Ouch.
320
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,161
Didn't expect you
to drop the a-word on us.
321
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:08,705
Not cool.
322
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,290
She is worse than wolf.
323
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,125
No, it... it wasn't supposed...
324
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,103
This is not the kind of thing
that would ever happen
325
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,920
on newhart. It was gentle humor.
326
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:18,214
Never at anyone's expense. Never mean.
327
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,049
Unlike some people.
328
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:27,515
And may I just say,
your duck was fantastic.
329
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,892
You may. And you may say it again.
330
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,479
Jay, I feel terrible about the ghosts.
331
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,923
I know. You'll fix it later, okay?
332
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,482
- Eyes on the prize.
- Okay.
333
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,775
Should I open another one?
334
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,987
Ooh! Oh, I don't know.
If I let Margie have another glass,
335
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,990
- I might have to leave her here overnight.
- Oh.
336
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,157
Fine with me.
337
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,700
- Zing.
- Ah, ha-ha!
338
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:49,162
Oh, we're having such a good time.
This is so fun. And...
339
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,164
And while we're having so much fun,
340
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,250
I was hoping maybe we could revisit
that little zoning issue.
341
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,626
Uh, you guys are fun.
342
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,212
- Maybe too much fun?
- Excuse me?
343
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:01,174
This is a quiet community.
We like quiet people.
344
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:05,636
The last thing we need is
some raucous hotel hosting pool parties
345
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,638
and midnight raves.
346
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,783
That's great, because that's
not at all what we're planning.
347
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,934
No, no! We're not even
thinking of this as a hotel.
348
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,103
It'll be more like a quaint b and b.
349
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,356
- It's a few guests. It's a few families.
- Mm.
350
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,816
It's gonna be very, very wholesome.
351
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,736
Says Mr. Earrings.
352
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,532
It'll be like newhart.
353
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,701
Whoa.
354
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,119
You know newhart?
355
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,704
Yeah.
356
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,290
I guess you could say
I know my favorite show.
357
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,185
I thought it was sex and the city.
358
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,794
- Talk about a finale.
- Oh.
359
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,630
- Oh. I could. All day.
- Favorite episode?
360
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,507
- You go first.
- Uh...
361
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:46,052
I will. As soon as I go to the bathroom.
362
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,887
And you go. Separately.
363
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,847
- But I know his schedule.
- Mm.
364
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,224
Me too.
365
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,850
Uh... yep.
366
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,605
Please, Pete,
I need your newhart knowledge.
367
00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:00,483
Is a sentence my wife just said
to an invisible person.
368
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,861
I want to help, but I got to stick
with my troop on this one.
369
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,238
Please, please, please, please?
370
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,865
Seriously, man?
You just told us to get lost.
371
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,410
Now she's begging for reinforcements,
372
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:13,121
like she's William howe
at the battle of white plains.
373
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,625
No? No? No white plains
aficionados in the house?
374
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,544
I love white plains.
Went to Laurie schender's
375
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:22,338
bat mitzvah there in '82.
Pretty exclusive invite, by the way.
376
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,674
The kid from silver spoons was there.
377
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,552
I feel terrible. I mean, I know it seems
like I'm just saying that now
378
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,054
because I need your help,
but I felt bad before.
379
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,722
Jay can back me up.
380
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,308
Uh, yep. She felt really bad, people.
381
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,354
- Like that's worth a damn.
- These nights are a big deal for us.
382
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,816
It's our chance to feel human again,
even if it's only for a few hours.
383
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,444
But after tonight,
a lot of us are feeling less alive
384
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,736
than we ever have.
385
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,364
Look, I haven't been around
as long as you guys
386
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,658
and, apparently,
I still have a lot to learn.
387
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:54,078
Because this isn't my house.
388
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,580
This is our house.
389
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:58,416
Do you really mean that, Samantha?
390
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,376
I really do.
391
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,752
I take it back.
392
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,129
She less bad than wolf.
393
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,589
Thank you, thorfinn.
394
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,312
And whether you guys want to help or not,
395
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,177
I want you to come back
and join us for dessert.
396
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,761
- All of you.
- Oh! Yes!
397
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,805
- All right.
- T-money back in the game.
398
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,099
Well, I suppose we accept.
399
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,103
Now, something people don't know
is that the show's opening credits...
400
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,522
Were filmed in New Hampshire.
401
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,666
Even though, as everyone...
402
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:26,569
Even though, as we all know,
the show took place in rural Vermont.
403
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,695
You weren't kidding.
404
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:29,864
You know your newhart. I am impressed.
405
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:34,535
Most people your age have absolutely
no appreciation for classic television.
406
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:38,748
No, and forget about art, wine, cinema,
407
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,416
wine, jazz...
408
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,835
Oh, jazz, we love jazz.
409
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,795
If I had to name my favorite artists...
410
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,297
Sidney bechet, Fletcher Henderson.
411
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,341
Sidney bechet, Fletcher Henderson.
412
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,593
Louis Armstrong.
413
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,512
What? You talk, I listen.
414
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,057
Amazing. It is so rare to find someone
who has an appreciation
415
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,184
for anything that came before them.
416
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,686
Well, that's the problem
with young people today.
417
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:03,898
Yes. Exactly. Exactly!
418
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,608
- Exacfly.
- Exacfly!
419
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,027
- Exacfly.
- Yeah.
420
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:10,071
Young people are the worst.
421
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,366
- That was incredible.
- Right?
422
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,493
Call me crazy,
but this might actually work.
423
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:16,661
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait.
424
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,180
Weren't there a lot more of those before?
425
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,665
- Um...
- How many of those have you had today?
426
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,083
Uh, he had at least four.
427
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,293
- One?
- Cupcake bogarter.
428
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,796
They're telling on me, aren't they?
429
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,089
I can't live like this.
430
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,841
- I have an idea.
- Mm-hmm.
431
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:34,011
How about a morning game of pickleball?
432
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:37,431
- Uh, I don't think so.
- Oh, come on, dear.
433
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,725
If we're not going to use the court,
then why on earth
434
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,894
did we tear down the
carriage house to build it?
435
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,230
Wait, tear down the carriage house?
Did you hear that?
436
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,816
Ooh. Coffee and cupcakes.
437
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,835
Margaret, these look delicious.
438
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,945
So, just between the four of us...
439
00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:52,506
"And my other brother Darryl."
Just say it.
440
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,656
And my other brother Darryl.
441
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:54,949
Oh!
442
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,117
There's got to be
443
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,202
something we can do
about this zoning issue, right?
444
00:17:58,286 --> 00:18:01,914
Jay, Samantha, I am man enough to admit
445
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,749
when I have missed the Mark.
446
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,167
How 'bout this?
447
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,878
I'll push through the permits.
448
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,256
- Serious?
- Oh, my god. That's amazing.
449
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:14,135
In exchange for a small donation
to the historical preservation fund.
450
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,053
Excuse me?
451
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,264
How big a small donation?
452
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,225
Well, a suggested donation is $20,000.
453
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:23,102
Uh, you can make the check out to me.
454
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,395
The scoundrel.
455
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,564
- —So baller.
- Think it over.
456
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,233
And, uh, thank you...
Here we go, Margaret...
457
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,278
- Mm-hmm.
- —uh, for an absolutely wonderful,
458
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,446
wonderful evening.
459
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,849
We will show ourselves out.
460
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,908
Thank you so much for coming!
461
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,869
I wasted the duck on a total shakedown.
462
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,329
We can't afford $20,000.
463
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,414
- —Uh, Samantha.
- What?
464
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:46,208
We've come across some information
on the farnsbys.
465
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,796
And the train goes in the tunnel,
out the other side.
466
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,174
- Well done, well done.
- Hey.
467
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,218
Maybe next time we'll come
to your place for pickleball.
468
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,571
- Oh.
- On your home court.
469
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:01,057
Where the carriage house used to be.
470
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,434
Wait a minute,
that would violate ordinance 6.B.13,
471
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:07,063
which says you can't demolish
existing structures.
472
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,898
Oh, chardonnay.
473
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,150
Take that.
474
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,235
- Checkmate.
- Your wife is drunk.
475
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,405
Are you trying to use
my own ordinances against me?
476
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,367
Oh, no, no, no, no...
Yes, that's exactly what we're doing.
477
00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,534
- Ooh!
- Good for her.
478
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,869
- Mmm.
- Spicy lady.
479
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:26,165
Well, this would certainly be
an awkward situation
480
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,251
if I hadn't been completely
kidding about the donation.
481
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:34,048
Congratulations on your permit.
482
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,634
Come along, Margaret.
483
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,221
Easy on the stairs.
484
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,515
And we want access
to that pickleball court!
485
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,476
- What? Why do we want that?
- I don't know. They made it sound fun.
486
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,561
Take that, farnsbys!
487
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,648
Another generation of woodstone prevails.
488
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,860
And that is how we do it in our house.
489
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:58,280
Up top. No, just-just put your hand up.
490
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,157
Close enough.
491
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,284
Ooh, girl,
you throw one hell of a dinner party.
492
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,036
Yeah, maybe next time I'll get invited.
493
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,663
Trevor, listen.
494
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:09,166
Don't you know that to throw
a truly exclusive party,
495
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,419
one needs a prominent snub?
496
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:14,338
Of course. It's like when
the blue room wouldn't let Leo in.
497
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,702
That's what put them on the map.
498
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,718
You knew that, in this house, I'm the Leo?
499
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,177
Mm-hmm. You're the Leo.
500
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,804
I'm the Leo.
501
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,931
I'm the Leo.
502
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,892
I am lying. It was the pants thing.
503
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:30,855
Well, I guess the ghosts spying
on us really came in handy, huh?
504
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,400
Uh, I don't have any personal privacy
and I'm terrified to shower,
505
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,461
but, yeah, I guess this time
they really came through.
506
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,362
Hey, which one knew so much about newhart?
507
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,614
- Oh, Pete.
- Oh! Arrow guy!
508
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,241
Way to hit the target, brother.
509
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:45,870
"Arrow guy"? Still? Unbelievable!
39426
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