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♪
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(narrator) Im sorry, viewer.
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The TV show youre searching for
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cannot be streamed in your reality.
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Please stand by for reconnection.
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♪
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In the darkest depths of cyberspace,
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there is another world.
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♪
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A lost dimension, home to wonders unseen,
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terrors unspeakable.
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♪
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Stories unlike any ever told until now.
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♪
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Do not click "Back."
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Do not reload.
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We have reconnected to
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Dimension 404.
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♪
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Twas the week before Christmas
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and all through the nation,
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the NSA watched us from a secret location.
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They hunted a man, a serial bomber,
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location unknown, this guy was a goner.
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♪
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Tracking this man was no easy job
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so the government turned to a monster
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named Bob.
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♪
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Bob knows when were sleeping
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and when were awake,
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but something inside him
is starting to break.
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♪
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Though he hunts and he tracks,
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his search is in vain,
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for this all-seeing eye
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feels nothing
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nothing but pain.
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♪
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(Sam) What is it, what is it?
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Oh, youre gonna find out soon, baby girl.
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Did you guys get my flight info?
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(Beth) I dont know, Sam,
did we get Mommys itinerary?
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(Sam) Flight 322, arrives
at 2:15, terminal B,
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and then we see Mommy!
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(imitates airplane engine)
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(Beth) Someones just a little
excited that youre coming home.
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Yeah, well, she is not the only one.
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Oh, she certainly isnt.
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Two weeks leave over Christmas.
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Im still waiting for
the other shoe to drop.
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Yo, Im comin home, babe.
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Come hell or high wat--
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Oh, Im gonna be late!
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(Beth) Oh no, go, go!
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-Love you.
-I love you.
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♪
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Okay.
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♪
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(Adams) Hey, Doc, you, uh,
you got a sec?
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-Um
-I just wanna say
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merry Christmas.
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So have a good time at home.
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Come back soon cause, uh
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were really gonna
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were really gonna need you out--
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Whoa, hey, hey, whats goin on?
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(Adams) I dont know.
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(sighs)
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Its this damn holiday.
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I mean, its just
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every time I see
that tree in the mess hall,
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I just think about home and I get
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♪
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I just
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♪
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Talk to me, Adams.
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♪
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(Adams) I just dont wanna
be here anymore.
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♪
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-Captain Lee?
-Uh, yeah?
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(female agent) Whitney Smith, NSA.
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-Nice to meet you.
-Sure, yeah, you too.
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If you dont mind,
I gotta catch a transport.
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(Whitney) Im headed that way too.
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Come on.
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♪
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Ill give you a lift.
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Thats great, Im super late.
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♪
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And shes still kinda
confused about Santa Claus
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but the tree looks nice
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and if I catch this transport,
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Im gonna be home in time to decorate it
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which is the--
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Well, its the best part anyway.
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(Whitney) Sounds very nice.
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(Captain Lee) So NSA, huh?
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I mean, Im sure its top secret
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but you got any Christmas plans?
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You, Captain.
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What?
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Dont worry, youre not in trouble.
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I just need you to come with us.
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Whitney, right?
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Listen, Ive been out here
18 months without leave.
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I miss my kid, I miss my wife.
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I spent our anniversary
hiding under a desk,
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trying to get the internet to work
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while getting mortared.
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Im sure that the NSA is used to getting
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whatever the hell it wants,
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but whatever it wants from me
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is gonna have to wait.
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There is nothing in this world
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that is gonna make me miss
Christmas with my family.
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(drone of airplane engine)
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You suck.
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(wind howling)
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♪
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So where are we, the North Pole?
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-Id tell ya, but then they--
-Then theyd have to shoot me,
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-yeah I know.
-What?
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No, theyd shoot me for divulging
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confidential information.
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-Why would they shoot you?
-Captain Lee.
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Director Stevens.
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Cocoa?
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♪
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Come on, well do the nickel tour.
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♪
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The NSA has a major data problem;
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were drowning in the stuff.
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Emails, phone logs, you name it,
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we got about three
petabytes a second of it
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from American civilians alone.
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(Captain Lee) Oh, well, thatshorrifying.
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(Director Stevens)
Worse still, our analysts
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have to process all of that data
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one click at a time.
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I know what youre thinkin.
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Replace em with robots!
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Believe me, I have tried.
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But despite what you
might have read in WIRED,
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that kind of AI is still decades away.
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00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:06,031
So for now, it still takes a human brain
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00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,333
to spot patterns, connect the dots,
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and catch the bad guys.
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(Captain Lee) And a human butt to
wipe the Constitution on,
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am I right?
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(laughs)
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(Stevens chuckles derisively)
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(elevator dings)
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♪
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(Director Stevens) Ten days ago,
our top analyst
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began displaying erratic behavior.
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Its affecting his work and, consequently,
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the safety of the American people.
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Youre here to provide therapeutic support
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and get him back in action.
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(Captain Lee) Wait, so, you flew me
all the way out to
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wherever we are just to give
a pep talk to a computer geek?
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(Director Stevens) Not exactly.
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♪
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Captain Lee
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meet Bob.
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♪
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(Bob) Ah, Director Stevens,
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whos your new friend?
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(liquid bubbling, squelching)
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Good morning.
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(Director Stevens) Good morning, Bob.
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-This is
-Jane Lee.
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32, 17 unread emails,
current location: here.
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(Jane) What the hell is that thing?
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(Bob) Where are my manners?
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Im Bob, chief intelligence officer
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here at NSA black site Indigo.
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(Jane) Why is it made of meat?
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-Mm.
-Okay.
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Imagine the NSA built a huge cube
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of nutrient enriched meat,
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then grew a giant human brain,
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placed it inside, added some wires,
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plugged it in, and then used it
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to monitor every person
on Earth at all times.
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Okay.
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(Chris) Thats what we did.
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-Thats Bob.
-Hello!
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So what brings you to
our neck of the woods, Jane?
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00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:03,229
(Director Stevens) Captain Lee is here
to see you, Bob.
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-Shes--
-My therapist.
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Of course, I know why shes here.
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I know everything.
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I was trying to be polite and colloquial.
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Hence, "neck of the woods."
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-Oh my God.
-I mean, I dont need
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a therapist, so
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(Chris) Well, Bob, the director
seems to think that--
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(Director Stevens) Ah, Chris and I both
think that talking with Jane
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will help you with your
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problems finding
203
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-Whats-his-face.
-Whats-his-face?
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He has a name, Chris.
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Its Lucas T. Wade
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and hes a very, very, very bad--
207
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Ow, ow, ow-ow-ow, ow!
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♪
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Okay, fine.
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Whats-his-face is a serious problem
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and its proving hard to locate him
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but therapy?
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(Chris) Captain Lee is
a total pro, Bob.
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One of the best in the world.
215
00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:47,855
(Bob) She cheated on her
Intro to Psych final.
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00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,611
The Scantrons prove it.
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00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,663
Sorry, Jane, that was rude.
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00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,947
You did though, so you
should be sorry too.
219
00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:56,291
(Director Stevens) Well, nobodys perfect.
220
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Apparently not even you, Bob.
221
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Isnt that right, Jane?
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♪
223
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:04,713
(Bob) Uh-oh, Chris, mop time.
224
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,882
(Director Stevens) How you feelin?
225
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,644
What the hell is wrong with you people?
226
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,676
Oh no, that was the last one.
227
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,021
-Excuse me?
-The last stupid question
228
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,686
you get to ask me.
229
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:22,265
Now, how bout we get to work?
230
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♪
231
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,788
(Chris) Lucas T. Wade:
232
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,711
hacker, anarchist,
survivalist, terrorist nutjob.
233
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,172
(Director Stevens)
Hes planning an attack.
234
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:50,221
We dont know where, we dont know when.
235
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:53,085
(Chris) But its beginning to
look a lot like Christmas.
236
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,553
(sighs)
237
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:57,643
Okay, so, this Wade guy is the only person
238
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,469
your meat computer cant find?
239
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,984
(Chris) Well, we put Bob through
every test under the sun,
240
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,937
theres nothing physically wrong with him.
241
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:07,017
(Director Stevens) Which brings us to you.
242
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:09,744
There must be somebody
whos more qualified for this.
243
00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:10,855
Youd think so, wouldnt ya?
244
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:11,951
(Director Stevens) Listen,
245
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,775
were saying we need your help
246
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,990
and if you want to leave,
we cant legally stop you.
247
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:18,662
Great, then it was nice meeting you.
248
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,790
(Director Stevens) But out of over
2100 Army therapists,
249
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,539
you are the only one
250
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:28,551
who has voluntarily extended
your tour three times.
251
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:32,415
Never asked for one day of leave.
252
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,224
Seventeen unread emails,
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00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,548
mostly from your wife.
254
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:40,854
I guess reading those makes
it harder to stay, huh?
255
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,849
You know, it seems to me
256
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,981
that you are literally incapable
257
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,938
of turning your back on a soldier in pain.
258
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:50,939
That thing is not a soldier.
259
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,242
(Chris) No, its not.
260
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,355
Soldiers get to go on leave.
261
00:10:54,363 --> 00:10:57,323
Bobhes on duty 24/7.
262
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,084
(Director Stevens) 24/7, Jane,
263
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,576
and hes in pain and he needs your help.
264
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,998
And if you cant give it to him,
265
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,377
well, let me just put it this way:
266
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:09,625
there are a lot of moms and dads
who wont be home for Christmas.
267
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,798
♪
268
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:15,587
Because theyll be dead.
269
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,142
I got that.
270
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:25,440
Hey, Mommy really wanted
to be home for Christmas.
271
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:28,355
(Sam) You promised!
272
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,975
Something really, really important came up
273
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,192
and I want--
274
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:39,033
Im sorry.
275
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,952
I wanted to be home
276
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,331
and be there for you guys.
277
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,787
(Beth) No, dont do that, Jane.
278
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,497
Dont be there for us.
279
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,747
Be here for you.
280
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:48,918
I cant.
281
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,667
And I cant tell you why.
282
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,050
(Sam sobbing)
283
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,046
I should go check on Sam.
284
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,258
Ill see you when I see you, I guess.
285
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:00,140
(Jane) Okay, I love you, I wanna--
286
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:03,389
(groans)
287
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,225
(Bob) So that was
your family, huh?
288
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,727
They seem great.
289
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,188
Bob?
290
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:13,228
Um, why are--
291
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,903
Umwhat are you doing here?
292
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:19,282
(Bob) I just wanted to say sorry
for being so rude earlier.
293
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:22,201
Oh, umthats okay.
294
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,450
Uh, apology accepted.
295
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,542
(Bob) Oh, great, thank you.
296
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,497
So, uh, goodnight.
297
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,417
(Bob) Okay, goodnight.
298
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:33,880
-Oh my God.
-One quick thing though.
299
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:38,089
Im still a little iffy about
this whole therapy situation.
300
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,181
Um, well, its normal to feel anxious
301
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,048
at the start of therapy
302
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,854
and we can address that
in tomorrows session.
303
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:46,979
(Bob) Okay.
304
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,895
-Okay, goodnight, Bob.
-Goodnight, Ja--
305
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,605
(sighs)
306
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:52,805
(Bob) See, heres the thing though.
307
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:53,944
I dont wanna do the sessions,
308
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,030
theyre a waste of time.
309
00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,315
And how will wasting time with you
310
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,948
solve my anxiety about
wasting time with you?
311
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,315
You seem uncomfortable.
312
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,492
Bob, this is a complete invasion of--
313
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:03,911
(soft guttural vocalizations)
314
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,449
(Bob) "Songs of the Blue Whale"
315
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,752
from your "Sleepytime" playlist.
316
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,286
Okay.
317
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,079
We need to establish some boundaries.
318
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,382
(Bob) Boundaries how?
319
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,705
I know everything about you.
320
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:17,010
If you need boundaries,
you should probably leave.
321
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,755
(Jane) I am not leaving.
322
00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:22,337
Bob, you need to leave
me alone right now, okay?
323
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,264
Goodnight.
324
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,932
(sighs)
325
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:29,482
(whirring of small drone)
326
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,646
(Bob) Okay, so, I dont get you.
327
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,095
I dont want you here.
328
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,314
You have places youd rather be
329
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,734
and yet here we are.
330
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:36,982
Why are we here?
331
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,863
I dont know, Bob.
332
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,780
You barged into my room
333
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:43,409
and now you refuse to leave.
334
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:47,196
Some might call that a cry for help.
335
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:49,502
So why dont we talk about
whats really going on with you?
336
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,956
(Bob) Um, uh, hm.
337
00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:54,377
The thing is
338
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,126
Oh no, your sprinklers
totally, accidentally,
339
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,257
not on purpose just came on!
340
00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,415
And the doors locked too.
341
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,012
Shucks, what a nightmare.
342
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,007
Well, see you in the morning, Jane.
343
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,589
Bye-bye!
344
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:05,804
♪
345
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,934
(exclaims)
346
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:10,890
♪
347
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:17,605
(Director Stevens) Bob, do you have eyes
on Captain Lee?
348
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:18,937
Shes late.
349
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,692
(Bob) Late on her first session.
350
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:22,784
Perhaps Janes not as
professional as you thought.
351
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,779
Shame; Guess youll have to get somebody--
352
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,162
-Good morning.
-Jane.
353
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,368
(Jane) Im sorry Im late.
354
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,868
I was trying to sneak
a cigarette in my room
355
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,039
and the sprinklers went off.
356
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,957
I had to dry my clothes in the bathroom.
357
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:35,747
-Really?
-Really?
358
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,340
Really.
359
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,795
I guess we better get started then.
360
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:46,722
(Director Stevens) Okay, people, lets go.
361
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,100
You know, this is your fault.
362
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,756
-You spoil him!
-I dont--
363
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,354
(Director Stevens) Oh, come on!
364
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,057
♪
365
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,904
(Bob) Okay, now I really
dont get you.
366
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,900
(Jane) I think we got off on
the wrong foot last night.
367
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,283
(Bob) Im sorry about
your clothes
368
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,870
and your electronics,
it wasnt my finest moment.
369
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,696
♪
370
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,951
-Whats goin on, Bob?
-Clearly you were right,
371
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,583
I--I need help.
372
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,291
I hate playing this card
because its so obnoxious
373
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,581
but
374
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:20,174
I am to you as you are to an earthworm.
375
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,760
I do need help
376
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,875
but I dont know if an
earthworm can give it to me.
377
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,632
♪
378
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,764
I dont know either.
379
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,761
But Id rather say that we failed
380
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,183
than say that we didnt even try.
381
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,392
Wouldnt you?
382
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:36,901
♪
383
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,435
Give me two hours.
384
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,148
You answer some of my silly questions,
385
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,648
I file my report with Stevens,
386
00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,610
and after that, if you
dont wanna see me anymore
387
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:48,531
then you will never see
this little earthworm again.
388
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,371
♪
389
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,747
You have an hour and ten minutes.
390
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:54,905
Actually, I think our session is--
391
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,423
(Bob) You are 50 minutes late, Jane.
392
00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,705
(timer beeping)
393
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,039
Lets get started.
394
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:04,134
♪
395
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:07,550
So, describe the problem
in your own words.
396
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,800
(Bob) Hmm
397
00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,553
what do you know about bats, Jane?
398
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,314
-Bats?
-Im trying to describe
399
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,136
Bob Vision, its like
400
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,481
echolocation.
401
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,806
I sense your data bouncing around:
402
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,151
what you buy, what you watch,
403
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,605
who you call
404
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:23,855
and I put it all together
and II know who you are.
405
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,188
-Like a bat.
-Like a giant
406
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:26,403
super-intelligent bat
407
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:27,903
whose vision is comprised of the multitude
408
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,454
of humanitys external expressions
409
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:31,157
through its interactions with
the ubiquitous data network
410
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,537
we call the internet
and which, in this analogy,
411
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:35,865
would be a cave.
412
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,500
Does that help you understand?
413
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,998
Lets try a different approach.
414
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,289
♪
415
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,542
(Bob) Branch.
416
00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,464
-Ocean.
-Water.
417
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,302
-Car.
-Driver.
418
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,967
-Dog.
-Leash.
419
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,626
-Cat.
-Scratch.
420
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:52,354
-Job.
-Great.
421
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,515
-Lucas T. Wade.
-Hes in Ohio.
422
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,765
Just kidding, I got nothing.
423
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,847
More words, please.
424
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,733
(Jane) Have you never been
able to see Wade
425
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:04,980
or did you only lose him after a time?
426
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,193
Walk me through it.
427
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,862
(Bob) Wades always
been slippery
428
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:10,071
but I was so close to
knowing where he would be,
429
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,321
you know, where he would hide,
430
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,662
when he would strike.
431
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,697
Last month he disappeared
in a subway in New York
432
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:15,741
and I dont--
433
00:17:15,744 --> 00:17:17,004
well, I havent seen him since.
434
00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:18,495
(Jane) What was he doing there?
435
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,996
(Bob) Well, hed just been shopping.
436
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,998
He got a new coat, ate a donut, and then
437
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,551
while he was riding the subway, I j--
438
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,755
I just lost him.
439
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,165
(alert beeping)
440
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,215
How did that make you feel?
441
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,429
Angry.
442
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,639
Sounds a little like youre guessing.
443
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,059
Sad, thats the one.
444
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:38,927
Is it?
445
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,023
Im not sensing any s--
446
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:42,018
Yup, Im sad, definitely sad.
447
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,150
Feeling good about sad.
448
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,726
(Jane) Okay, well, sad how?
449
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:47,983
Does it make you wanna cry
450
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,114
or--actually, can you cry?
451
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,701
Heres an idea, lets move on.
452
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,027
Okay.
453
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,412
Umlet me see.
454
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,579
How bout this, a magic genie
455
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,158
will grant you one wish.
456
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,214
What do you wish for?
457
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,668
Wow, I cant believe
I cant think of anything.
458
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,048
Thats okay, take your time.
459
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,585
I got it!
460
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:12,088
Herb Hillman, 72, 10,322 unread emails.
461
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,391
His wife, Gladys, wants
an iPad for Christmas.
462
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:18,175
Instead, hes building herthis.
463
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:20,981
-What is it?
-I have no idea!
464
00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:23,685
Is it, like, a birdfeeder or a shoe rack?
465
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,646
I know what our next president
466
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:25,976
will have for lunch next Thursday
467
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,400
butthis thing has me stumped.
468
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:29,899
Thats interesting.
469
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:33,321
So, if you could have
one wish it would be
470
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,451
(Bob) I mean, Id call Herb and ask
him what the hells going on!
471
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,528
I mean, what is that thing?
472
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:39,294
Oh shit, hang on.
473
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,655
Hey, Director, Codename: Payday
474
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,082
just popped up on a SAT phone in Baanam.
475
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,040
(Director Stevens) Good catch, Bob.
476
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,539
-Alert the D.O.D.
-Copy that.
477
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,881
-Hey, Bob, what is this?
-Engaging target.
478
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:51,006
♪
479
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,335
Target neutralized.
480
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,550
♪
481
00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:54,630
(Bob) Codename: Payday,
482
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,224
confirmed killed.
483
00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,679
Three additional noncombatants killed.
484
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,930
Oh, sorry, Jane, uh,
what were we talking about?
485
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,521
-Fly.
-Swatter.
486
00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,862
-Kiss.
-Lover.
487
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,938
-Job.
-We did job.
488
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,033
-Were doing it again.
-Why?
489
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,818
-Job.
-Why?
490
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,913
(Jane) Do you know what
a conversion disorder is?
491
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,288
(Bob) Of course.
492
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:22,655
I once treated this EOD tech,
493
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,712
he couldnt move his left hand.
494
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,416
There was nothing
physically wrong with him,
495
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,497
but then once he opened
up at sessions, it was--
496
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,172
(Bob) Sergeant Eric Mann.
497
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,710
Fascinating.
498
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:35,804
So, Im suffering the same condition.
499
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,430
-Its all in my mind.
-Well, I mean,
500
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,928
you might not see the way I see,
501
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,640
but sudden blindness can be brought on
502
00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:45,771
by acute stress and anxiety.
503
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,648
Hence, "job."
504
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,725
-Job.
-I love my job.
505
00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,281
I keep people safe,
its what I was born to do.
506
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,815
It must be a lot of pressure.
507
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:54,778
(Bob) Well, it would be
for most people
508
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,857
but Im not most people.
509
00:19:56,863 --> 00:20:00,033
Youre still a person, Bob.
510
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:02,873
We must be running short on time, Doctor.
511
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,749
What was it like to kill that man?
512
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,746
-Codename: Payday?
-I didnt kill him.
513
00:20:06,748 --> 00:20:08,078
I provided intelligence.
514
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:10,922
(Jane) Your intelligence
led to his death.
515
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:12,709
And three others.
516
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,302
Possibly innocent civilians.
517
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,547
(Bob) People die every day,
518
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,218
people died while I
was saying that sentence.
519
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,086
Gene Cosgrove, lung cancer.
520
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,303
-Does that bother you?
-That doesnt bother me, Jane.
521
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:23,224
-Then what does?
-You do!
522
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,142
(circuits shorting)
523
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,351
♪
524
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:27,771
Sorry, Im sorry, that--
525
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,019
♪
526
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,360
Its okay to feel angry.
527
00:20:31,356 --> 00:20:33,896
You know, I wonder what Beth
and Sam are up to right now.
528
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,650
-Okay, Bob, youre deflect--
-Yeah, I wonder
529
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,952
how your favorite girls are doing
530
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,195
without their big
Jane-shaped safety blanket?
531
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,407
Bob!
532
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,196
Boundaries.
533
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,580
(Beth) Thank you.
534
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,576
Hm!
535
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,709
(Bob) Go on.
536
00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:48,785
♪
537
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:50,630
See for yourself.
538
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,585
(Beth) Good job!
539
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,125
All right!
540
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,008
♪
541
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,755
(Bob) Surprise!
542
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,297
Turns out theyre doing just fine.
543
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:01,431
Look at em.
544
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,177
-Perfect!
-Dont they look happy
545
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,720
decorating that Christmas tree?
546
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,434
Living their life without you?
547
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:09,944
♪
548
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,476
You know how I really get to know people?
549
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,940
Its not through what they say;
550
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,571
its through what they dont.
551
00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:20,148
And when it comes to your family,
552
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:23,074
your silence is deafening.
553
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:26,874
They dont need you,
but you need to feel needed.
554
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:29,459
Its why you took a job
halfway across the world.
555
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:30,915
Its why you just cant say no
556
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,455
when some shell-shocked army grunt
557
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:34,248
needs a shoulder to cry on.
558
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:37,132
Its why youre here.
559
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:40,300
No wonder you need whale
noises to fall asleep.
560
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,339
I pity you, Jane.
561
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,893
I really do.
562
00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:47,807
You got me, Bob.
563
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,017
Well done.
564
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:50,937
Im afraid our time is up.
565
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:54,645
♪
566
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,027
I would like you to leave now.
567
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,105
You said that you pity me, Bob.
568
00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:00,530
So what?
569
00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:03,028
Pity comes from empathy,
570
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:05,321
from compassion.
571
00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,664
Youre not a gigantic brain
572
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:10,200
youre a gigantic heart.
573
00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:12,874
You love people.
574
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,924
You love Herb Hillman.
575
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,837
You probably loved Codename: Payday.
576
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:20,336
-Jane, get out.
-There are seven billion people
577
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,839
on this planet,
578
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:24,471
and you know all of our secrets.
579
00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,759
Whats it like to pity everyone?
580
00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:33,063
♪
581
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:35,611
Your silence is deafening.
582
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:41,985
♪
583
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:45,446
Its okay.
584
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,328
You can tell me.
585
00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:51,655
No, but I can show you.
586
00:22:51,662 --> 00:22:53,502
This is the moment Lucas T. Wade
587
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:55,828
finally ate his donut.
588
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:58,173
Heres what else I saw.
589
00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:59,459
Meet Eddie Wilson.
590
00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:02,262
First Christmas without
his beloved wife Carol.
591
00:23:02,256 --> 00:23:04,676
His kids are on a cruise right now.
592
00:23:04,675 --> 00:23:07,885
George Prestons having
a beer with his fast food.
593
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:11,637
Nine years sobriety washed
away with a burger and fries.
594
00:23:11,641 --> 00:23:14,561
Sally Benson, the woman
with the baby clothes,
595
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,900
shes infertile.
596
00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,805
Ill let you do the math.
597
00:23:17,814 --> 00:23:19,694
And heres Amanda Jackson.
598
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,490
She just asked for a picture with Santa,
599
00:23:22,485 --> 00:23:24,485
and heres what her sister said:
600
00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:26,357
(sister) Stop, its not Santa,
601
00:23:26,364 --> 00:23:27,824
Santas not even real.
602
00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:29,624
God, just sit there and be quiet.
603
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,907
Dads not coming this
year anyway, so just
604
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:35,211
(Bob) Amanda knows the worlds
darkest secret now:
605
00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:36,866
There is no Santa.
606
00:23:36,874 --> 00:23:39,794
Someone that wonderful can only be a lie.
607
00:23:39,794 --> 00:23:41,464
Merry Christmas, Amanda.
608
00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:43,552
You get the agony of the truth.
609
00:23:43,548 --> 00:23:45,798
And thats just one subway car
610
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,100
of one subway of one city.
611
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:52,095
Exabytes of misery
flowing through the world
612
00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:55,428
every single second.
613
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,854
Thats what I see.
614
00:23:57,854 --> 00:24:00,274
Thats Bob Vision.
615
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:04,493
You want to know if I can cry, Jane?
616
00:24:04,485 --> 00:24:06,815
Ive been crying since they turned me on.
617
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:10,486
And then theres Wade,
618
00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:12,241
eating his donut,
619
00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:14,003
getting off at his stop.
620
00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:16,785
Hey, hes leaving the subway,
I-I can see him again.
621
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,419
Just relax and focus.
622
00:24:18,416 --> 00:24:20,036
(Bob) Shh, its two weeks ago,
623
00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:22,132
hes leaving the subway,
hes paying for parking.
624
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:24,798
I lost him--wait, wait, wait,
last week, hes buying--
625
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,167
what is he buying?
626
00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:28,134
No, wait, hes back,
hes back, three days ago,
627
00:24:28,134 --> 00:24:30,144
back on the subway, wheres he going?
628
00:24:30,136 --> 00:24:31,596
Oh, my God.
629
00:24:31,596 --> 00:24:32,716
I know the target!
630
00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,852
I know, I--no!
631
00:24:34,849 --> 00:24:36,559
No, no, no, no, no, no!
632
00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,639
(electricity zapping)
633
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,564
Calm down, just calm down, okay?
634
00:24:40,563 --> 00:24:42,823
-Just stay calm.
-Where is he, Bob?
635
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:46,815
Tell us right now, where is Lucas T. Wade?
636
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:48,029
Were too late.
637
00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:50,949
(subway car rattling)
638
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:09,552
Anybody leave this?
639
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:11,340
Anybody leave this?
640
00:25:11,344 --> 00:25:12,724
(explosion)
641
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,890
(people screaming)
642
00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:18,230
(popping)
643
00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:21,266
(siren wailing)
644
00:25:21,270 --> 00:25:23,610
(beeping)
645
00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:26,026
(Bob) Sixth Avenue, he just stepped
into an alley, I cant--
646
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:27,985
Oh, hes--Andrew Brown, school teacher.
647
00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,235
Amy Lopez, mother of three.
648
00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:31,317
-Hes overheating!
-Were moving as fast as we can.
649
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:33,452
(Bob) Mary Chang, shes
trapped in the rubble,
650
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,159
shes--shes screaming,
they cant reach her.
651
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,329
(Director Stevens) Where is he, Bob?
652
00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:37,537
We need an answer now!
653
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:38,786
(Bob) Theres Wade, hes in the alley.
654
00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:39,868
No, no, hes--
655
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,962
(static zapping, beeping)
656
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:44,248
(dramatic music)
657
00:25:44,252 --> 00:25:45,502
♪
658
00:25:45,503 --> 00:25:46,803
I lost him.
659
00:25:46,796 --> 00:25:48,506
♪
660
00:25:48,506 --> 00:25:49,966
Im sorry.
661
00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:56,176
♪
662
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:57,430
(slamming)
663
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:03,441
(plastic rustling)
664
00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:05,607
(Jane sighing)
665
00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:15,118
(slamming)
666
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:18,953
(telephone ringing)
667
00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:20,453
(Jane) Hes making progress.
668
00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,794
We missed this one, but we
can find him, we just need--
669
00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:25,130
(Director Stevens) Thank you for your
service, Captain.
670
00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:26,876
Youre dismissed.
671
00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:28,707
(Jane) What?
672
00:26:28,713 --> 00:26:31,093
(Director Stevens) Great job, you did
your country proud.
673
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:33,970
-Its time to go home.
-But what about Bob?
674
00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:36,718
(Director Stevens)
Its no longer your concern.
675
00:26:36,721 --> 00:26:38,351
Excuse me.
676
00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:43,192
(Jane) Hey, thats my patient in there.
677
00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:45,475
You cant terminate treatment
without his consent, so tell me
678
00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:48,939
-what the hell is going on!
-Keep your voice down!
679
00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:52,241
I just got off the phone
with the joint chiefs.
680
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:54,566
Bob is being relieved of duty.
681
00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:56,572
What does that mean?
682
00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:58,874
It means hes being deactivated.
683
00:26:58,868 --> 00:27:01,078
Deactivated?
684
00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:02,158
Thats murder.
685
00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:04,923
No, its not murder, Jane.
686
00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:06,955
Its unplugging a computer.
687
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:09,959
Chris is taking him offline as we speak.
688
00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:12,472
Then what, you just--
you just grow another one?
689
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,465
Yes, and when that one breaks,
690
00:27:14,467 --> 00:27:17,217
well grow a third one,
and then a fourth one,
691
00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,009
and so on and so forth.
692
00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:22,104
We have a car coming for you at 2300.
693
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,559
I mean, there must be something--
694
00:27:23,559 --> 00:27:27,359
Its Christmas Eve, Jane.
695
00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:29,185
Go home.
696
00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:34,991
(melancholy Christmas music)
697
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:41,987
♪
698
00:27:55,549 --> 00:27:57,889
(powering down)
699
00:27:57,885 --> 00:28:04,885
♪
700
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:30,666
It wants to talk to you.
701
00:28:30,668 --> 00:28:34,628
♪
702
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:35,970
Okay.
703
00:28:35,965 --> 00:28:42,965
♪
704
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,019
(footsteps approaching)
705
00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:48,516
Hello?
706
00:28:48,519 --> 00:28:50,149
Is someone there?
707
00:28:50,146 --> 00:28:51,686
(Jane) Its me, Bob.
708
00:28:51,689 --> 00:28:53,189
(Bob) Jane.
709
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:55,110
You sound so far away.
710
00:28:55,109 --> 00:28:57,359
Im here.
711
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,661
Im in the room with you.
712
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,655
(Bob) Well, I-I dont
hear anyone else.
713
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,697
Its justyou and me, talking.
714
00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:07,832
Is--is this what its
like for mostpeople,
715
00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:10,500
in conversation, I mean?
716
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,919
Well, I guess most people are
usually checking their phones.
717
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:14,919
(Bob chuckles)
718
00:29:17,506 --> 00:29:19,756
Chris said that you wanted to see me.
719
00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:22,048
(Bob) So, I was just sitting here,
720
00:29:22,052 --> 00:29:23,392
dying and all,
721
00:29:23,387 --> 00:29:24,967
and I thought it would be extra sad
722
00:29:24,972 --> 00:29:26,892
if I died without having any friends,
723
00:29:26,891 --> 00:29:30,021
and thenI thought you might be my friend,
724
00:29:30,019 --> 00:29:33,229
butI wanted to ask you first.
725
00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:36,030
Are we friends?
726
00:29:36,025 --> 00:29:37,565
I mean, no pressure or anything.
727
00:29:37,568 --> 00:29:38,898
Its important that youre honest.
728
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:45,118
Yes.
729
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,947
We are friends, Bob.
730
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:48,122
Good.
731
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,330
I think so, too.
732
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:52,957
(sniffling)
733
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:55,038
Jane, are you crying?
734
00:29:55,044 --> 00:29:56,674
No.
735
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:58,050
(Bob) Jane.
736
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:06,931
You were right, you know.
737
00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:09,101
I need to feel needed.
738
00:30:11,894 --> 00:30:15,984
I dont really do this
job for other people.
739
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:18,691
I do it because
740
00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:20,992
I just hate feeling useless.
741
00:30:23,405 --> 00:30:26,405
And now people are dying,
742
00:30:26,408 --> 00:30:29,408
and youre dying, and, um
743
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:36,630
I wasnt useful to any of you.
744
00:30:36,627 --> 00:30:39,087
Oh, Jane.
745
00:30:39,088 --> 00:30:41,418
I want to hug you, but
746
00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:44,513
I dont have arms, so, um
747
00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:46,640
come here, okay?
748
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:55,191
(somber music)
749
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:58,227
You cant help everybody.
750
00:30:58,232 --> 00:31:01,072
It doesnt mean youre useless.
751
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:04,778
It means youre human.
752
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:05,780
(sniffling)
753
00:31:05,781 --> 00:31:07,911
Geez, you cry more than I do.
754
00:31:07,908 --> 00:31:09,328
(chuckling)
755
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,866
♪
756
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,420
Youd make a pretty good
therapist, you know.
757
00:31:14,415 --> 00:31:16,035
(Bob) Thanks.
758
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,251
I
759
00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:18,961
(shivering)
760
00:31:18,961 --> 00:31:20,341
Bob?
761
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:23,667
Ah, its c--its cold.
762
00:31:23,674 --> 00:31:25,094
Yeah, I know.
763
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:28,852
♪
764
00:31:28,846 --> 00:31:30,506
(Bob) Talk to me, okay?
765
00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:33,104
I want to keep talking,
766
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:34,810
for as long as I can.
767
00:31:34,810 --> 00:31:36,980
♪
768
00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:38,689
(sighs)
769
00:31:38,689 --> 00:31:42,319
(Jane) Okay, um
770
00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:46,908
A magic genie will grant you one wish.
771
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,865
What do you wish for?
772
00:31:48,866 --> 00:31:51,946
Promise not to laugh?
773
00:31:51,952 --> 00:31:54,832
Of course.
774
00:31:54,830 --> 00:31:56,370
I-I wish
775
00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,673
♪
776
00:31:57,666 --> 00:32:00,496
(sniffling)
I wish there was a Santa Claus.
777
00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:07,512
♪
778
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:12,644
I-Im gonna be right back.
779
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,890
(Bob) Hey, wait, where are you going?
780
00:32:14,892 --> 00:32:16,062
Jane?
781
00:32:18,646 --> 00:32:21,146
(cheery Christmas music)
782
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:24,568
♪
783
00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:26,448
(elevator dings)
784
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:32,825
♪
785
00:32:32,826 --> 00:32:34,236
(Jane) Were plugging him back in!
786
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:35,914
-What?
-Shut up and help me already!
787
00:32:35,913 --> 00:32:37,043
(Chris) No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
788
00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:38,249
This is a bad idea.
789
00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:39,498
(Jane) I know it sounds crazy--
790
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:41,290
(Chris) Yeah, because it is crazy!
791
00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:43,343
I see that youre pissed, so am I,
792
00:32:43,337 --> 00:32:45,167
okay, but we cant save him, hes gone.
793
00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:47,172
-No, hes not gone yet.
-It doesnt matter.
794
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:49,184
It does matter, Chris!
795
00:32:49,176 --> 00:32:51,676
Look, I spend my entire life
796
00:32:51,679 --> 00:32:55,059
taking care of soldiers
who might die at any moment.
797
00:32:55,057 --> 00:32:56,477
Just cause I cant save them
798
00:32:56,475 --> 00:32:59,135
doesnt mean that I dont do
everything within my power
799
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,654
to help them.
800
00:33:00,646 --> 00:33:02,766
(mellow music)
801
00:33:02,773 --> 00:33:04,693
♪
802
00:33:04,692 --> 00:33:06,822
Bob is your soldier.
803
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:08,649
You made him,
804
00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:10,364
trained him,
805
00:33:10,364 --> 00:33:12,574
and you brought me in to help him.
806
00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:14,244
Thats what Im gonna do.
807
00:33:14,243 --> 00:33:17,293
So, are you gonna do this with me or not?
808
00:33:17,287 --> 00:33:18,367
(sighs)
809
00:33:18,372 --> 00:33:20,792
♪
810
00:33:20,791 --> 00:33:22,921
All right, you guilted me into it.
811
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:24,128
Whats the plan?
812
00:33:24,128 --> 00:33:25,878
Were gonna make Santa Claus real.
813
00:33:25,879 --> 00:33:27,879
(elevator dings)
814
00:33:27,881 --> 00:33:30,181
Im definitely going to jail for this.
815
00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,505
(tense music)
816
00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:32,720
(Bob) You--youre back,
817
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:33,970
and you brought more footsteps.
818
00:33:33,971 --> 00:33:34,971
Whos making them?
819
00:33:34,972 --> 00:33:36,772
-Its me.
-Chris!
820
00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:38,015
What are you doing here?
821
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:39,386
(Chris) Ruining my career.
822
00:33:39,393 --> 00:33:41,193
(alarm blaring)
823
00:33:41,186 --> 00:33:43,646
-What the hell is that?
-Exactly what you think it is.
824
00:33:43,647 --> 00:33:45,317
I was really counting on my bonus.
825
00:33:45,315 --> 00:33:46,775
Get over to that switch by the wall.
826
00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:47,985
(Bob) Jane, dont do this.
827
00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:49,645
-Its treason.
-Its Christmas,
828
00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:51,613
and youre gonna see it one last time.
829
00:33:51,613 --> 00:33:54,493
(Bob) But this wont save me,
theyll just unplug me again.
830
00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:56,951
So whats the point?
831
00:33:56,952 --> 00:34:01,042
Peace on Earth and good will towards men.
832
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:03,629
(powering up)
833
00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:05,205
(clicking)
834
00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:06,840
♪
835
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:08,667
(static flickering)
836
00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:10,382
♪
837
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,302
(Herb) But thats what you are to me,
838
00:34:12,301 --> 00:34:14,221
the pillar in my life.
839
00:34:14,219 --> 00:34:15,929
(laughing)
840
00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:17,349
(Bob) She loved it.
841
00:34:17,347 --> 00:34:19,137
Of course she did.
842
00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:21,561
Which is nice to see,
but youre still going to jail
843
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,440
and Im still gonna die,
so, why--why did we do this?
844
00:34:24,438 --> 00:34:25,808
(Jane) Come on, Bob.
845
00:34:25,814 --> 00:34:27,864
Youre a smart guy.
846
00:34:27,858 --> 00:34:30,318
Im no longer an employee of the NSA.
847
00:34:30,319 --> 00:34:32,319
That means no more mission statement,
848
00:34:32,321 --> 00:34:33,661
no more regulations.
849
00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,405
Theres nothing holding me back.
850
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:37,657
What--what does that mean?
851
00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,658
He got his wish.
852
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,843
(female singer) ♪ O holy night ♪
853
00:34:47,836 --> 00:34:52,126
♪ The stars are brightly shining ♪
854
00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:57,852
♪ This is the night of
our dear Saviors birth ♪
855
00:34:57,846 --> 00:35:00,136
(gentle piano music)
856
00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:07,150
♪ Long lay the world
in sin and error pining ♪
857
00:35:07,397 --> 00:35:13,147
♪ Till He appeared and
the soul felt its worth ♪
858
00:35:13,153 --> 00:35:15,073
♪
859
00:35:15,072 --> 00:35:18,332
♪ A thrill of hope ♪
860
00:35:18,325 --> 00:35:21,825
♪ The weary world rejoices ♪
861
00:35:21,829 --> 00:35:28,789
♪ For yonder breaks
a new and glorious morn ♪
862
00:35:28,794 --> 00:35:35,184
♪ Fall on your knees ♪
863
00:35:35,175 --> 00:35:42,055
♪ O hear the angels voices ♪
864
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:48,187
♪ O night divine ♪
865
00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:55,198
♪ O night when Christ was born ♪
866
00:35:55,696 --> 00:36:02,696
♪ Truly He taught us to love one another ♪
867
00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:07,463
♪ His law is love and
His gospel is peace ♪
868
00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:08,827
(puppy barks)
869
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:10,674
♪
870
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:17,679
♪ Let all within us praise His holy name ♪
871
00:36:17,801 --> 00:36:20,221
♪ Christ is the Lord ♪
872
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,890
(plopping)
873
00:36:21,889 --> 00:36:24,099
♪
874
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:30,979
♪ O praise His name forever ♪
875
00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:36,111
♪ His power and glory ♪
876
00:36:36,111 --> 00:36:38,201
(Director Stevens) What the hell is
going on in here?
877
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,696
(Bob) Merry Christmas,
Director Stevens.
878
00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,068
(Director Stevens) All right, thats it.
879
00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:43,124
Shut him down and detain these two.
880
00:36:43,118 --> 00:36:44,868
(Bob) I wouldnt do that.
881
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,960
Hes got control of the system.
882
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:48,705
(Director Stevens)
Yeah, I can see that, Chris.
883
00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:50,287
Which part?
884
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:51,542
All of it.
885
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:55,958
Okay.
886
00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:57,764
Hold up, everybody.
887
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:02,800
Bobby, whatcha doin?
888
00:37:02,804 --> 00:37:05,314
Just spreading some
holiday cheer, Director.
889
00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:06,307
Yeah.
890
00:37:06,308 --> 00:37:08,438
And exactly how much cheer
891
00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:09,435
are we talking?
892
00:37:09,436 --> 00:37:11,556
Oh, about $200 billion worth.
893
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:13,193
-(disgruntled acknowledgment)
-But dont worry.
894
00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:14,570
I fixed the economy.
895
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:15,776
Oh, my God.
896
00:37:15,776 --> 00:37:17,606
(Bob) Oh, and I got you
something, too.
897
00:37:17,611 --> 00:37:19,151
(beeping)
898
00:37:19,154 --> 00:37:20,914
(mellow music)
899
00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:24,326
The FBI picked up Lucas
T. Wade ten minutes ago.
900
00:37:24,326 --> 00:37:28,496
♪
901
00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:29,917
(Director Stevens) Great.
902
00:37:29,915 --> 00:37:31,785
So, what happens next?
903
00:37:31,792 --> 00:37:34,592
(Bob) First, Jane and Chris
face no repercussions.
904
00:37:34,586 --> 00:37:36,126
(Director Stevens scoffs)
905
00:37:36,129 --> 00:37:38,219
Thats a pretty big ask, Bob.
906
00:37:38,215 --> 00:37:39,545
(Bob) Well, not to be rude,
907
00:37:39,549 --> 00:37:41,389
but I do have control of
the U.S. nuclear arsenal.
908
00:37:41,385 --> 00:37:43,095
And its a fantastic one.
909
00:37:43,095 --> 00:37:45,675
-Anything else?
-Hmm
910
00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:47,141
eggnog, please.
911
00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:48,980
Lots of eggnog.
912
00:37:48,976 --> 00:37:52,186
(cheery music)
913
00:37:52,187 --> 00:37:56,857
(male singer) ♪ Well, Mrs. Kringle
called this morning ♪
914
00:37:56,858 --> 00:38:00,818
♪ She said that Kris
says everythings okay ♪
915
00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:03,621
♪ So its time for celebratin ♪
916
00:38:03,615 --> 00:38:05,945
♪ Kris Kringle is a-waitin ♪
917
00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:09,411
♪ Its gonna be a happy Christmas day ♪
918
00:38:09,413 --> 00:38:16,423
♪
919
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:31,055
(footsteps approaching)
920
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:32,269
(Director Stevens) Well
921
00:38:32,269 --> 00:38:34,809
I just got off the phone
with the President.
922
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,693
That was a fun conversation.
923
00:38:37,691 --> 00:38:39,821
Full pardons for Chris and Jane.
924
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:41,238
(Bob) Thank you, Director,
925
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:44,486
and tell the President he
can have his nukes back now.
926
00:38:44,489 --> 00:38:48,789
(Director Stevens)
God, this is a freaking mess.
927
00:38:48,785 --> 00:38:53,205
You know theyre gonna
shut us down for this, Bob.
928
00:38:53,206 --> 00:38:54,666
Shut you down.
929
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:57,496
Its not much of a dying wish
if I dont die, Director.
930
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:01,298
(sighs)
931
00:39:05,510 --> 00:39:10,470
(Director Stevens) Soyour wish?
932
00:39:10,474 --> 00:39:11,984
Was it worth it?
933
00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:15,475
Well, for one night, Santa Claus was real.
934
00:39:15,479 --> 00:39:18,519
Id say thats pretty good, wouldnt you?
935
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:20,863
(uplifting music)
936
00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:24,909
♪
937
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:30,993
(sniffing)
938
00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:33,214
(Jane) Is this the same hood?
939
00:39:33,205 --> 00:39:36,535
Do you guys not wash your hoods?
940
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:39,541
(phone vibrating)
941
00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:42,554
(Whitney) For you.
942
00:39:42,547 --> 00:39:43,547
(Jane) Hello.
943
00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:44,588
(Bob) Hello, Jane.
944
00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:46,051
(Jane) Bob!
945
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:48,181
They dragged me out of there
before I could say goodbye.
946
00:39:48,178 --> 00:39:49,388
(Bob) I know.
947
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:51,717
I told them to, I didnt
want you to be late.
948
00:39:51,723 --> 00:39:53,893
(Jane) Late for what?
949
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:55,982
(Whitney) Were here.
950
00:39:55,977 --> 00:39:59,307
(Bob) Jane Lee, 32,
86 unread emails.
951
00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:01,274
Current location
952
00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,744
home.
953
00:40:03,735 --> 00:40:06,145
Merry Christmas, Bob.
954
00:40:06,154 --> 00:40:07,744
(Bob) Goodbye, Jane.
955
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:09,239
(chuckles)
956
00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:11,661
(gentle piano music)
957
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:14,200
♪
958
00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:16,754
(doorbell chiming)
959
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:19,668
(Beth) Ill be right back.
960
00:40:19,668 --> 00:40:21,918
One moment.
961
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,470
(female singer)
♪ And I long for your embrace ♪
962
00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:30,506
♪
963
00:40:30,512 --> 00:40:32,142
(Sam) Mommy!
964
00:40:32,139 --> 00:40:34,599
Mommy, Mommy!
965
00:40:34,599 --> 00:40:38,519
-You made it!
-Oh, baby.
966
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,190
Oh, you got so big.
967
00:40:40,188 --> 00:40:47,198
(female singer) ♪ Its you and I ♪
968
00:40:47,696 --> 00:40:51,986
♪ By the fire ♪
969
00:40:51,992 --> 00:40:55,832
♪
970
00:40:55,829 --> 00:41:02,839
♪ Its you and I ♪
971
00:41:03,879 --> 00:41:09,799
♪ By the fire ♪
972
00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:16,811
♪ By the fire ♪
973
00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:19,018
(upbeat Christmas music)
974
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:25,189
♪
975
00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:29,572
♪ I believe that theres a toy
for every little girl and boy ♪
976
00:41:29,571 --> 00:41:31,821
♪ I believe it ♪
977
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:34,033
♪ I believe it ♪
978
00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:36,164
♪ And when Christmas comes around,
979
00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:38,581
all of the children jump for joy ♪
980
00:41:38,580 --> 00:41:43,040
♪ All because of Mr. Santa Claus ♪
981
00:41:43,043 --> 00:41:45,253
♪ Hello, Santa ♪
982
00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:47,553
♪ Hello, Santa ♪
983
00:41:47,547 --> 00:41:51,967
♪ Everything I say is true ♪
984
00:41:51,968 --> 00:41:54,258
♪ When you wake up Christmas morning,
985
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:56,432
all your wishes will be there ♪
986
00:41:56,431 --> 00:42:03,401
♪ All because of Mr. Santa Claus ♪
987
00:42:05,398 --> 00:42:09,898
♪
988
00:42:09,948 --> 00:42:14,498
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