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1
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:13,638
{\an8}Divina virtute,
in infernum detrude!
2
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:18,184
Divina virtute,
in infernum detrude!
3
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,103
Oh, God, please save our boy!
4
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,397
Cunning serpent,
you shall no more
5
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:24,607
- dare deceive--
- Dare deceive the human race.
6
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,693
Boring me over here,
Father Cleare.
7
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,739
Get out of him,
you son of a bitch!
8
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,073
Now!
9
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,243
Daddy?
10
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,373
Aw, that's actually
kind of sweet.
11
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,170
Well, that's it, possession 101.
12
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,130
- Okay, you ready?
- I think so.
13
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,590
When I'm inside,
which button do I press
14
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:49,966
to make him kiss the priest?
15
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,177
Just visualize yourself
going into him,
16
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,429
then bend your knees,
clench your butt cheeks,
17
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,556
open your mouth, and whoosh.
18
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,640
Go on. You got this.
19
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,684
All right.
Let's rock this possesh!
20
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,061
Get inside that little boy.
21
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,236
We can start over.
22
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,697
We can forgive?
23
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,994
Hello?
Is--can anyone hear me?
24
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,746
Oh, I'm doing it.
25
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,331
Pee pee poo poo.
26
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:22,957
- The serpent has returned!
27
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,584
I'll kill you, you bastard!
28
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:25,960
Okay, bye!
29
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,212
MR. LALISH:
You little motherfucker!
30
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,630
- Die, you piece of shit!
- Ow! Daddy, stop.
31
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,719
The um--
the demon must be in me now.
32
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,558
Whoo! That kid smelled
like a garbage truck,
33
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:41,893
but I loved it.
34
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,771
It takes demons years
to mimic a human's voice.
35
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,356
You did it on your first try.
36
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:47,816
I want to possess a baby horse
37
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:48,983
when it's being birthed.
38
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,151
- You could.
- Or a movie star
39
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,694
- and do a car chase scene.
- Why not?
40
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,279
Or a sex scene
with Regé-Jean Page.
41
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,739
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
42
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:58,118
I know this shit's a rush,
but you gotta pace yourself.
43
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,411
Come on, let's go home.
44
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:02,789
- Step on me.
- Okay.
45
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,671
- You go, girl!
46
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,089
Thank you, thank you.
You're too much.
47
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,507
She's a natural.
48
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,051
Aw, come on.
49
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,011
Custody weekend's over already?
50
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,888
Awesome time as always, Daddy-o.
51
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,933
And next time, I'll teach you
how to turn stuff into spiders.
52
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,309
Pregnant spiders!
53
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,602
- BEAST 1: Bye, human girl.
- BEAST 2: Bye. Goodbye, now.
54
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,729
Couple more visitations
with my girl,
55
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,607
and she'll be begging to ditch
her mom to live with me.
56
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,443
Then zip, zap, zop,
I'll be back on top, baby.
57
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,363
- Let's get this party started.
58
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,408
-
- Oh, shit.
59
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,326
Thought it was gonna
be balloons.
60
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,911
Well, don't let the weapons
go to waste.
61
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,621
Start killing each other.
62
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,673
{\an8}Hey, tell the foreman
if his son looks at me again,
63
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,383
{\an8}I will shoot him
with my nail gun.
64
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,552
{\an8}When I yell
fart, you yell face!
65
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,138
{\an8}- Fart!
- Face!
66
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,849
- Pee pee poo poo.
- Now, this is content.
67
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,892
{\an8}- Okay? Looks great.
- Ugh, God.
68
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,101
{\an8}- See you tomorrow, Bill.
- It's fun!
69
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,187
{\an8}Christina! Dinner! Now!
70
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,480
{\an8}Well, someone's
extra vinegary today.
71
00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:10,982
{\an8}I control
your bowel movements, Erwin.
72
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,817
{\an8}- Keep making that fucking salad.
- Ooh.
73
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,277
{\an8}Chrissy's weekend
with her father
74
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,528
{\an8}is getting to you, I see.
75
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,863
Look what he's got her doing.
76
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,990
I-it's devil
in The Exorcist shit.
77
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,326
He's turning my daughter
into an evil cliché.
78
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,744
{\an8}And you're turning into a cliché
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00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,245
{\an8}- of a jealous ex.
- Chrissy!
80
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,914
{\an8}- I will not say it again!
-
81
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,624
{\an8}Get back
in your vacant corpse now!
82
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,460
{\an8}Hey, Laur,
don't you just love it?
83
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,004
Whoo! Makes you work up a sweat.
84
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,964
{\an8}I might go for a jog
as a deer later.
85
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,966
{\an8}Animals are more difficult,
but Dad says I'm a natural.
86
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,301
{\an8}- You look thirsty.
- Congrats, honey.
87
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,011
{\an8}Soon you'll be butchering
the clergy.
88
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,846
{\an8}Just because I'm having fun
with Dad doesn't mean
89
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,598
{\an8}you have to lash out.
Don't be jelly.
90
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,058
{\an8}I'm looking out, honey.
91
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,434
{\an8}I know your dad's endgame--
92
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,436
{\an8}to win you over
so he can use your power
93
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,271
{\an8}to turn the universe
into his hellscape.
94
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:53,441
{\an8}Duh. What you don't get
is I'm actually using him.
95
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,109
{\an8}I know exactly what I'm doing.
96
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,945
{\an8}Oh, Jesus Christ, Chrissy.
No, you don't.
97
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,529
{\an8}You have evil in your DNA.
98
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,156
{\an8}Hey, come on,
you're not that bad.
99
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,033
{\an8} You keep doing
what you're doing,
100
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,326
that evil will spread in you
101
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,245
{\an8}and the normal life
you said you wanted--
102
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,705
{\an8}friends, school, homecoming,
sleepovers--gone.
103
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,416
{\an8}You'll be a soulless shell
of a human and become--
104
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,711
{\an8}honestly, like, a successful
CEO in all likelihood.
105
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:14,837
{\an8}So, what, I should just suppress
106
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,214
{\an8}an entire side of myself?
107
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,341
You're not Billy Elliot.
You're the Antichrist.
108
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,425
{\an8}Don't suppress.
109
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,552
{\an8}Be more conscious
of your choices.
110
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,055
{\an8}Maybe use your powers
to do some good.
111
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,516
I just wanted to make
the mailman fart!
112
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,228
That went well.
113
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,063
No tests today.
114
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,356
And if you see Chrissy,
115
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,108
tell her that she has
a really cool,
116
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,859
normal-sized forehead.
117
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,528
That's what I want.
118
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,322
And, uh, pee pee poo poo.
119
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,991
"Pee pee poo poo"
is my catchphrase.
120
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,826
That could be
our generation's "Got Milk?"
121
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,578
So what's it feel like
being in someone?
122
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:48,830
Each body's different.
123
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,457
Right now it's acid reflux
and a deep longing
124
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,167
for someone named Pablo.
125
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,003
- Mm.
- Hmm.
126
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,755
Like,
how is this evil, you know?
127
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,550
Don't you think it's shady
128
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,260
to secretly enter
people's bodies
129
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,553
without their consent?
130
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,263
No, I'm just entering them
real quick.
131
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:06,556
- Right, sure--
- I mean,
132
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,100
I'm just having fun with people
inside them.
133
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,186
No--well, it's not like
they'll remember it.
134
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,813
Oh, God, I feel like an asshole.
135
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,023
So what should I do?
136
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,733
Should I stop using
possession all together?
137
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,276
Or, ugh,
maybe my mom has a point
138
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,569
about using it for good?
139
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,029
I mean,
if you're possessing people
140
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,196
for moral reasons,
141
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,906
like to help them
make better choices,
142
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,158
- that would be--
- Then I can possess my cake
143
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,284
and eat it too.
144
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,994
Can you actually possess a cake?
145
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,246
Don't you fucking touch that!
146
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,540
No gluten-free options?
You're a fascist.
147
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,792
I'll rip out your heart
and make you eat it.
148
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,003
- STUDENT 1: Oh, shit. Oh, no!
- STUDENT 2: Yeah, get him!
149
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,588
- Ooh.
150
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,298
It was always gonna end
this way.
151
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:41,424
Now's your chance.
152
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,592
Get that cake!
153
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,635
Fight! Fight! Fight!
154
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:45,928
Wait, wait, wait!
155
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,597
Uh, I, uh--
156
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,390
I-I-I don't dislike
your cooking.
157
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,934
It's me that I dislike.
158
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,604
-
- Way past that point, asshole.
159
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:55,938
What the fuck just happened?
160
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,523
I-I'm sorry for taking
161
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,233
your criticism personally.
162
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,985
This is all I have in my life.
163
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,154
- I love you.
- Aw.
164
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,280
What the fu--
165
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,573
Yes, and I love you too.
166
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,408
Ew.
167
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:11,537
Yes, and, uh, I'm your mother.
168
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,414
Yes,
and now everything makes sense.
169
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,708
Let's never fight again, Mommy.
170
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:16,918
Oh, okay.
171
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,212
- Pee pee--
- Poo poo.
172
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,464
What the fuck is wrong
with everybody here?
173
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,800
Holy shit.
That actually felt great.
174
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,385
You're kind of like a superhero.
175
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:29,097
Nah, I'm just your friendly,
neighborhood Antichrist.
176
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,307
Come back here.
I want to chop you up.
177
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,017
- You'll never catch me!
- Okay, Snake with Arms,
178
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,936
any word yet from Jerrup
and The Cootie Realm
179
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,104
swearing fealty to me?
180
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,563
{\an8} Nope. Nothing yet.
181
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:38,773
Are you shittin' me?
182
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,108
I'm about to bring
the hammer down
183
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,275
on time and space,
184
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,652
and they're dragging their feet
185
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:43,903
on kissing my ass?
186
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,987
All right.
187
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,407
Let's head over there and boil
their firstborns alive.
188
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,545
Ta-da!
189
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,587
Hi.
190
00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,464
Look who's here. Asmodeus.
191
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:06,175
Yes! The Grand Demon
of Possessión.
192
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,802
Dark Lord of Ulrich.
193
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,138
- King of all the--
- King douche of Crapstown.
194
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014
Population, you.
195
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,641
- Roasted.
196
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:14,934
This guy used to work for me.
197
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,061
Uh, I possessed
hundreds of thousands of humans
198
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,397
in service of him, okay,
199
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,899
inciting a myriad
of fratricides, holocausts--
200
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,192
Why are you here, Azzy?
201
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,027
You need some cash?
I'm flat out.
202
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,364
Last eve whilst soul-hopping
on the corporeal plane,
203
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,907
what did I behold?
204
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,661
Satan educating his demon semen
in the art of possessión.
205
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:37,081
Thus here I am
to make good on our deal.
206
00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,374
I got lots of deals going on.
207
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,750
What deal are we talking about?
208
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,545
Our contract stated that
once the Antichrist arrives,
209
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,298
I would be at the helm
of Maximus Dawnus with you
210
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,008
in exchange
for everything in my name.
211
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,759
And so I relinquished to you
212
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:52,138
my wife, my land,
my thousands of children.
213
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,100
Now the Antichrist has arrived.
214
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,811
Oh, yeah.
That contract wasn't real.
215
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,771
- Mm. What?
- I made it all up.
216
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:01,856
Pretty good, eh?
217
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,191
Well, but my lawyer was present.
218
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,525
- You mean this lawyer?
- Ay.
219
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:07,069
Rhett, there you are.
Satan here is trying--
220
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,613
I created him.
221
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:09,780
Wh-what?
222
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,491
But I knew him
for thousands of years.
223
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,658
We wrote a series
224
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,118
of best-selling mystery novels together.
225
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,661
Yeah, it's called a long con.
226
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,039
- I gave you my family.
- And I got rid of them.
227
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,374
If I had to hear
one more boring story
228
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,752
from that yak farmer
you call a wife--
229
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,171
We were to ride the ashen skies
230
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,923
and rule the realms together.
231
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,591
There was never a "we."
232
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,093
I will be with my daughter,
you dumb fuck.
233
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,972
Aw, I'm a bad widdle boy.
234
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,058
Unhand me, you cretin.
235
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,936
I'll get my revenge, Satan.
You'll see!
236
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,813
You'll all--aah!
237
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,357
Now, let's go boil the babies
238
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,650
while their heads are
still soft.
239
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,363
We're through, Jason.
240
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,281
I'm a person, not an appendage.
241
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,783
- STUDENT 1: Yeah, Camry.
- STUDENT 2: Good for you, girl.
242
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,825
STUDENT 3:
That's what I'm talking about.
243
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,035
I'm an ally.
244
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,995
Let's go unionize
the guidance counselors.
245
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:00,122
I'm late for band,
but maybe I can come over
246
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,707
after my family bike ride
after school
247
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,251
and we can help people
around town?
248
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,503
Like community service?
249
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,588
Oh, my God, I'm in!
250
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,883
If I wanted to hear
about your problems, Sharon,
251
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,052
I would have became a therapist,
not a librarian.
252
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,637
One more helping won't hurt.
253
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,224
Just kidding. I'm all ears.
254
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,226
Lunch is on me.
255
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,728
Let's kick this hero shit
in high gear.
256
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:26,274
♪ Anytime day or night ♪
257
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:29,360
♪ You get a little uptight ♪
258
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,905
♪ And you need a little lovin' ♪
259
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:36,325
♪ To make it all right ♪
260
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:40,454
♪ Just a phone call
has got me running ♪
261
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:44,500
♪ Honey, hold on,
'cause I'm coming ♪
262
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,502
♪ To give you what you need ♪
263
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,670
♪ Oh, baby ♪
264
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,797
Whoa. Whoo-hoo!
265
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,841
♪ 'Cause love's on the way ♪
266
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,676
♪ And I'm coming ♪
267
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:54,802
Hello, Middletown.
268
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,137
I am here to help.
269
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,888
Pee pee poo poo, y'all!
270
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:03,728
♪ Anywhere near or far ♪
271
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,197
Bonjour, Antichrist.
272
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,825
Now, let's find
the gates of Tartarus
273
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:21,954
and begin Maximus Dawnus
on our own.
274
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,175
God damn it.
275
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,637
Chrissy, come on.
276
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,641
If Tawnee's mom honks again,
I will make Tawnee an orphan.
277
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,646
Look, I'm sorry
I was harsh before.
278
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,397
It is my job
to look out for you.
279
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,650
And yeah, sometimes I can be
a bit hyperbolic.
280
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,027
But no harm, no foul,
281
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,780
and I'm good to move on
if you are.
282
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,657
- Yes.
- Really?
283
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,409
Yes.
284
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,619
I love you, honey.
285
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:04,121
And I love you, Mommy.
286
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,248
There's a demon
inside my daughter,
287
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,167
and I know
it's that shitstain's fault.
288
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,669
So when he gets back,
why don't you tell him
289
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,004
he's lost visitation rights
to everything but my katana?
290
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,507
Don't mean to interrupt,
291
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,884
but evil Chrissy just caught
a bird and ate it.
292
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,011
Single motherhood is tough,
ain't it?
293
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,431
Blast these inferior
human tools.
294
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,016
We gotta get this demon
out of Chrissy
295
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,434
before it does harm to her body.
296
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,645
And then I need to find
her soul, wherever that is.
297
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,105
Oh, we're gonna hustle
the demon.
298
00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,357
A little Color of Money game.
I like it.
299
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,900
This is a Soul Stang, Darlene.
300
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,402
It knocks souls out of bodies
301
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,696
with the speed and strength
of a Shinkansen bullet train.
302
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,280
I push, you catch.
303
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,907
Ooh, just like
at my sister's home birth.
304
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,867
For the record,
I only dropped the baby
305
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,536
because the blood made her
so slippery.
306
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,787
Caught the placenta, though.
307
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:48,541
The jar is charged
with a binding spell.
308
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,084
So once the demon
is in the lizard--
309
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,919
- Hello, Mommy.
-
310
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,088
Hello, my wonderful daughter.
311
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:56,298
Can we drive
to these coordinates?
312
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,634
Funch's Diner
in Kalamazoo, Michigan?
313
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,177
It's not where
the gates of Tartarus
314
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,429
are located or anything.
315
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:02,596
It's...
316
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,765
For Earth history project.
317
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,559
We sure can, darling.
318
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,352
Better go put your head
in that bucket of water
319
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,479
for 30 seconds,
because as we both know,
320
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,150
that's what human girls do
before a road trip!
321
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,278
Yes.
We both know this very well.
322
00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,583
Yello.
323
00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:36,380
I can just come back
in ten, if--
324
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,965
- Stay back!
325
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,010
Oh, whoops.
326
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,349
Very clever, Chère-Mere.
327
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,769
It appears the jig
that was once down...
328
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,312
Is now up.
329
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,189
What did you do
with my daughter's soul?
330
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,681
Hello? Who am I in?
331
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,266
Oh, are you kidding me?
332
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,935
I could squat all day
with these knees.
333
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,312
Uh, this feels problematic.
334
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:34,647
Hey, please be careful
with my body.
335
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,232
I'm more flexible
than I am strong.
336
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,858
A dangerous combination.
337
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,735
You know what would have been
good for the ride home?
338
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,820
Burgers.
339
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,904
Oh, it would have been
yum yum.
340
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,030
What now, buzzkill?
341
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,491
She-Beast call.
Asmodeus possess daughter.
342
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,701
That sick bastard.
343
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,412
Looks like Daddy's
gotta save his girl.
344
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,665
Ew, I got this weird feeling.
345
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,543
What is that? Concern?
346
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,420
Think I need to take a shit.
347
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,256
And so I, Mr. Robber,
348
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,258
have learned the error
of my ways.
349
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,260
Uh, thank--thank you?
350
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,722
Whoo, I'm about to possess
351
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,391
the hell out of my bed.
352
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,309
Good work. Time to go home.
353
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,563
I am upset!
354
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,523
I'm coming, my children.
355
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,942
- We need answers, Mayor.
- Do something.
356
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,193
Come on, everyone.
357
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:25,030
You didn't elect me
to "answer your questions."
358
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,782
Friends, compatriots.
359
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,201
Talk to me.
Tell me what ails you.
360
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,828
Today I was minding my business,
361
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,247
when all of a sudden I helped
my disabled neighbor, Craig,
362
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,582
get his cat out of a tree.
363
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,000
I remember you!
364
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,502
Uh, the mayor
remembers everyone.
365
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,713
- What a kind deed.
- Kind, my ass.
366
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,964
I would never do that for Craig.
367
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,132
He slept with my wife.
368
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,383
-
- Oh.
369
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:45,926
I'm sure Craig saw your kindness
370
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,845
and was inspired to be
a better man.
371
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,096
Uh, Craig here. Yeah, I saw it
372
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,806
as acceptance
of me sleeping with his wife,
373
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,808
- so I slept with her again.
- Okay, sir,
374
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,351
that doesn't add up at all.
375
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,186
I threw my trash in the garbage.
376
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,605
I would never do that.
377
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,899
That's what Big Trash
wants us to do.
378
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,610
Space aliens must have
put chips in us.
379
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,069
- We're in The Matrix.
- Birds are manipulating
380
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,154
- our thoughts.
- I can't remember
381
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,405
why I'm upset.
382
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,283
Stop it!
383
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,243
I helped you all
to make better choices,
384
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,454
become better yous,
and this is how you act?
385
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,414
Don't you see you're all
just scared of change?
386
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,832
Suck my ass!
387
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,792
Suck my ass,
you ungrateful turds!
388
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,377
None of you deserved my help.
389
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:21,503
It's him.
390
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,671
The government's controlling us.
391
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,714
Down with the mayor!
392
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,132
PERSON 1:
Hey, let's beat him up.
393
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,134
- PERSON 2: Beat him up!
- Down with the mayor!
394
00:15:27,134 --> 00:15:28,427
I'm naked.
395
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,387
Aah!
396
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,474
Not down with the mayor!
397
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,225
Whoa, what's happening?
398
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:36,685
Hey, let's beat him up!
399
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:37,853
Beat him up!
400
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,229
Don't beat him up!
401
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,398
I got this truck stacked
with wicker chairs.
402
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,733
Let's burn him alive!
403
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,197
Ooh, driving
without my lumbar pillow
404
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,074
and I still feel great.
405
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,701
Chrissy? Chrissy?
406
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,119
Is that you? Oh, fuck you.
407
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,413
Miss Feinberg,
can we please switch back soon?
408
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,916
I feel weird
being inside your daughter.
409
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,125
Hands where I can see them.
410
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,627
Oh, God, no. I didn't mean that.
411
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,462
This would all be easier,
dickhead, if you told me
412
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,755
where you left
my daughter's soul.
413
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:06,215
If you unhand me now,
414
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:08,300
I shall spare you
when I reinhabit your daughter
415
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,970
and carry out Maximus Dawnus
on my own.
416
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:15,099
And I will be
the ultimate ruler!
417
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:18,018
And Satan, the prick,
will be ultimate drooler.
418
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:20,270
Hey, Laur, this guy's
got beef with Satan too.
419
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,814
You should get some margs
and talk it out.
420
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,983
- Aah!
421
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,109
Plug up your brain holes.
422
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,987
The mayor's trying
to get in there.
423
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,613
Where the fuck
did you come from?
424
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,617
Guys, please stop.
425
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,452
Ooh, what is this? A flash mob?
426
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,663
- I'm into it.
- What the fuck is this?
427
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,206
Your daughter.
428
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,041
That-that doesn't make
any sense.
429
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,002
Oh, it's soul mitosis.
430
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,712
Her soul's overexerted
from splitting
431
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,130
into too many host bodies.
432
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,548
She's lost control.
433
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,634
And soon her soul
will be spread so thin,
434
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:53,095
she'll be lost forever.
435
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,025
This is all her father's fault.
436
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,526
If he didn't push her
like he always does--
437
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:10,237
Um, Miss Feinberg,
from your suggestion,
438
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,114
she used her powers for good.
439
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:15,242
Looks like she got
a little carried away?
440
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,077
So what--ugh!
441
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,039
Get your trash soul
442
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,290
out of my daughter, Azzy.
443
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,167
Satan? You idiot.
444
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,002
That wasn't Azzy.
That was Bennigan.
445
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:27,212
And now you got me into
this soul-swapping horseshit.
446
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,380
What the hell is a Bennigan?
447
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,715
A good friend
of your daughter's,
448
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,050
Mr. Chrissy's dad.
She didn't mention me?
449
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,135
- That's fine.
- That's Azzy in my body.
450
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,928
I'm Darlene in Bennigan's body.
451
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,764
Oh, I'm not Azzy. That's Azzy.
452
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,557
- The fuck?
- Wait, now I'm confused.
453
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:39,933
Everybody shut up.
454
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:41,393
I'm sick of this
Freaky Friday bull--
455
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,146
That fixes it.
456
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,230
What the hell did you do?
457
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,315
Azzy ran off with Chrissy.
458
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,441
I don't know who's who.
459
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,568
I'm going after her soul.
You get her body.
460
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,903
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Calm down.
461
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,113
How's it feel?
Not bad, huh?
462
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,449
I feel
a little like Beyoncé,
463
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,493
but also a little incontinent.
464
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,953
Welcome to the duality of me,
little buddy.
465
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,538
Chrissy?
466
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,165
Mom?
467
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,126
Yes, sweetie. I'm here.
468
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,003
Mom, you were right.
469
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,922
Even when I try to do good,
it turns bad.
470
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,507
- I'm evil.
- No, Chrissy.
471
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,801
I shouldn't have said
you'd turn evil.
472
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,762
I've just felt overwhelmed
by your dad being in your life,
473
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:19,098
so I tried to control you,
and I messed up.
474
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,808
Mom!
475
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,143
Something's wrong.
476
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:25,729
Huh?
477
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,606
- Where am I?
- How did I get here?
478
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,359
Chrissy?
Chrissy, answer me!
479
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,736
Chrissy, you are still inside
of these people.
480
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,279
You need to get out now.
481
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,865
She's in cahoots with
the spirits controlling us.
482
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,283
- Kill her!
- She's a witch!
483
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,869
Well, yeah, technically,
but not in the way you mean.
484
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:45,040
Witch! Witch!
485
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,000
Now,
Delaware Transit Conglomerate,
486
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,627
show me the route
to the Kalamazoo
487
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,088
and the gates of Tartarus!
488
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:54,133
Take Route 301,
straight up your ass.
489
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,843
Satan, ha-ha!
490
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,428
Today is the day you'll rue
taking everything from me.
491
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:00,264
I don't rue shit.
492
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,057
Get out of my daughter, you bum.
493
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,019
Aah!
494
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,521
- En garde.
495
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,696
I'll do it, man!
496
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,156
- Whoa.
- I swear I'll do it.
497
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,949
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, I'll do it.
498
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,284
- Azzy, Azzy.
499
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,161
Put the gun down.
500
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,413
This isn't about her.
It's about us.
501
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,623
I-I know I made mistakes, Azzy.
502
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,083
I shouldn't have made
that deal with you
503
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,169
unless I intended
to follow through on it.
504
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,172
I get now what you sacrificed.
505
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,800
Family, it's the one thing
that matters.
506
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:38,010
Oh.
507
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,387
But I have a family
508
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,139
and you don't anymore.
509
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,224
What? No!
510
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,772
Being a dad sure is something.
511
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,692
Guess it was concern
and taking a shit.
512
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,319
Ugh, this is the one way
513
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,862
I didn't want to die.
514
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,114
Chrissy, there's nothing
I'd love more
515
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,365
than to murder all these people,
516
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,992
but I know
you're still in there.
517
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,536
You need to fight!
518
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,580
You can't be gone. No!
519
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,165
You can't be!
520
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,291
You are not gone.
521
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,795
Pee pee poo poo.
522
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,005
Oh.
523
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:17,883
- Pee pee poo poo.
- Pee pee poo poo.
524
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,676
Pee pee poo poo.
525
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,970
Pee pee poo poo!
526
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,848
- Pee pee poo poo, yeah.
- Pee pee poo poo.
527
00:20:24,932 --> 00:20:26,183
That's it, baby, come on.
528
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,267
Pee pee poo poo.
529
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:29,853
Come on, baby. Pee pee poo poo.
530
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,148
- Pee pee poo poo!
531
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,533
Looking for this sack of skin?
532
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,953
Blammo!
533
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,579
- Mom?
- Chrissy!
534
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,081
- There's my girl.
- You're okay.
535
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,501
Oh, God, what did I do?
536
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,835
I really lost myself.
537
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,545
Aw, don't be so hard
on yourself.
538
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:56,964
I've done that plenty of times.
539
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,590
You had your first soul binge.
540
00:20:58,674 --> 00:20:59,841
And she's had her last.
541
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,593
She doesn't need
your emotional support.
542
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,428
I've been doing this alone
for 13 years.
543
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:04,721
Oh, wait,
so you're a single mom?
544
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,306
- Yeah, I am.
- Can we--
545
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,849
- can we just go home?
- And y-you know what?
546
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,726
Just get everyone back
in their bodies, okay?
547
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,019
I-I can't take a second more
548
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,105
of this fucking
soul-swapping bullshit.
549
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,856
So we're square, right?
550
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:16,984
Dinner in two weeks
at my favorite spot,
551
00:21:16,984 --> 00:21:18,860
The Ground Round.
552
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,445
I'm buying.
553
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,572
Aw, I'll miss you,
my little friend.
554
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:24,658
And I you, me.
555
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,914
So an entire store
for just wicker furniture.
556
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,708
How are they even in business?
557
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,751
It's gotta be a drug front.
558
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,629
Hey, you're not still
beating yourself up, are you?
559
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,299
What? No. Mom, I'm good.
560
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,217
This is all part of growing up.
561
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,636
And I'm proud of you for trying
to do the right thing.
562
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,680
So now you know
what not to do, right?
563
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,682
Yeah, yeah.
You live and you learn.
564
00:21:48,682 --> 00:21:51,685
I get it.
Seriously, I'm totally okay.
565
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,271
All right, then. Coolio.
566
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:55,856
Hey, I was thinking,
567
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,941
maybe you should join
a club at school.
568
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,651
You know? Or maybe start one.
569
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,987
Something for charity?
570
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,448
Or--or a recycling club?
571
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,033
I don't know, it just--
it might be nice
572
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,077
for you to do some real good.
573
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,370
Yeah?
574
00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,742
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