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1
00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:05,309
♪
2
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:06,658
[thud, snoring]
3
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,138
- Hey!
- Whoa, man!
4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,618
I think I have
that disorder
5
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,186
where you fall asleep
after you stay up all night.
6
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,188
That's not a disorder,
that's called exhaustion.
7
00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,667
What were you doing up
all night?
8
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,321
Mrs. S asked me to prep
9
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,628
the chilaquiles,
enchiladas suizas,
10
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:22,065
and huevos motuleños
for breakfast.
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,328
You made this?
12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,808
The way you say the names
13
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,331
of this traditional
Mexican breakfast
14
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,811
sounds different
from Mom's,
15
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,204
but it tastes
exactly like it.
16
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,509
My secret?
17
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,207
I always have Jeff make it.
18
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,512
Another secret?
19
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:38,516
"Huevos" is Spanish
for eggs and balls!
20
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,083
Jeff, you shouldn't be
staying up
21
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,085
all night
doing chores for my mom.
22
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,869
Especially before we celebrate
our anniversary!
23
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,567
Our wedding's birthday!
24
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,091
Sure.
So let's be well-rested
25
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,267
for our wedding birthday
dinner tomorrow.
26
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,835
And for
the festivities after.
27
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,577
It's our weird sex stuff
birthday, too.
28
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,666
Not to me, Jeff.
Okay!
29
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,711
I've just finished
designing my costume
30
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,670
for the CIA costume party.
31
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,541
And this is how I'll be going!
32
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,718
I don't know
what I'm looking at.
33
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:09,286
You're looking at
Chicken Baby.
34
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,374
Chicken Baby!
35
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:11,810
Dad, I don't think anyone
36
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,248
at the CIA is going to
understand your costume.
37
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,293
Chicken Baby is...
38
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,295
- not a thing.
-"Nothing is a thing
39
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,254
until it happens
for the first time."
40
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,125
Do you know who said that,
Steve?
41
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,257
Chicken Baby.
42
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,823
Welcome aboard, Steve.
43
00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:25,911
[thud, snoring]
44
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,566
[patriotic music plays]
45
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:31,526
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
46
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:35,356
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day♪
47
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:38,576
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face♪
48
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:42,450
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race♪
49
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:47,846
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say♪
50
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,153
-♪ Good--♪
-♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
51
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,241
Aah!
52
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:56,159
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
53
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:58,640
♪
54
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,425
Jeff, we're gonna be late
for our dinner reservation!
55
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,906
Well, hello Miss Unobstructed
Forehead!
56
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,779
And who is this persona?
57
00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,739
Oh, this is no persona,
this is an homage.
58
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,698
To my favorite man,
Tony Mendez.
59
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,961
Was he...
one of those two brothers
60
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,485
who killed their parents?
61
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,226
No, those were
the Menendez brothers.
62
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,271
Both way hotter than this guy.
63
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:24,622
Tony Mendez is who Ben Affleck
played in Argo--
64
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:28,757
1979, dude made a fake movie
to fly hostages out of Iran.
65
00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:31,455
And planes didn't even exist
before that!
66
00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,936
Tony Mendez made
the first airplane!
67
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,590
That...
isn't true.
68
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,288
Ah, you got me.
Just trying a lie.
69
00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,898
Anyhoo, I'm celebrating
the opening
70
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:43,250
of an Argo Museum
in Fargo, North Dakota.
71
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,469
Apparently, they tried to put it
in Argo, Alabama,
72
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,818
but there was already a museum
73
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,733
dedicated to the movie
Fargo there.
74
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,648
Jeff, get down here!
75
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,650
I can't hear any more
about Tony Mendez!
76
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,827
He was a Scorpio
and he hated mushrooms.
77
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:56,915
- One sec, babe.
-♪ Let me see that thong♪
78
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:57,873
I just need to finish recording
79
00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,005
this song off the radio.
80
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:03,313
It's the last song I need
for Klaus's mixtape for Danuta.
81
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:04,445
-♪ Thong, thong--♪
- [stops playback]
82
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,403
Now you're doing favors
for Klaus?!
83
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,537
I believe "favors" means
they'll be returned.
84
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,669
- I get nothing!
- Oh, my God, babe.
85
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,758
You are such
a people-pleaser!
86
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,543
- Thank you.
- It's not a compliment.
87
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:16,892
- It's really not.
- Roger!
88
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,503
All right, consider me...
gone, girl!
89
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,723
Another great Ben Affleck film.
90
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,900
If you excuse me,
I'm off to The Town.
91
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,729
To bang some Mallrats.
92
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,948
Jeff, you gotta learn
how to say no!
93
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,864
I told Klaus I was celebrating
with you,
94
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,779
but he said making the mixtape
95
00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,781
was the most important thing
in the world to him
96
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,915
but he didn't feel like doing
it himself because it's boring.
97
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,526
I couldn't say no!
What if he got mad at me?!
98
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,876
Who cares if Klaus
gets mad at you?
99
00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,879
But when someone's mad at me,
I get so anxious!
100
00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,620
Look, bottom line--
101
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,535
you need to do
what you want,
102
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,363
not what other people
want you to do.
103
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,973
All right,
that won't be hard.
104
00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:57,062
Great! Now put on this shirt
for dinner.
105
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,803
You know you're not supposed
to choose your own clothes.
106
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,370
You got it, babe!
107
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,981
♪
108
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,897
Finally, I get you
all to myself.
109
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:09,292
Nobody coming around,
being like "Duh, Jeff,
110
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,728
chew my food, wipe my butt."
111
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:12,904
[laughs hysterically]
112
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,297
Oh, no, your shirt!
113
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,603
Whoops!
114
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,039
It's just,
when you do voices,
115
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,910
they're spot-on!
116
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:22,697
But who are they?
117
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,568
[sloshing]
118
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:25,961
Hey!
119
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,005
You look like me!
120
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,529
No, I don't.
121
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,531
I look like
Jonathan Taylor Thomas!
122
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,576
And I thought the manager said
we couldn't do our laundry here.
123
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,320
Hey, new guy!
I said no laundry!
124
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,800
Me?
I don't--
125
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:39,975
I just spilled on my--
126
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,411
You spilled on your shirt,
127
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,630
and now
you're doing laundry
128
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,066
like I asked you not to!
129
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,807
Well, yeah,
but--
130
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,939
Are you trying
to make me mad?
131
00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,419
Are you not mad already?
132
00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:52,553
Get back in the kitchen
or I'll be really mad!
133
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,424
Okay, boss!
134
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,121
Hey!
What's that sloshing?!
135
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,820
You better not be an employee
doing laundry in there!
136
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:02,389
Uh... nope! Just a horny
customer jerking off!
137
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,955
Very good, sir.
138
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,523
Thank you choosing
Mama Mangia's.
139
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,352
♪
140
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,397
[clears throat]
141
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:11,615
Whoa!
142
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,574
Look at that hot-ass dad
143
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,966
- wearing the--
- Did somebody say
144
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,752
"hot-ass dad
wearing the perfect costume"?
145
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,841
Stan, you stepped on
my line.
146
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,016
Take it from the top.
147
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,149
- Did someone say--
- Stan!
148
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,847
You're not giving me time
to say it!
149
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:26,935
You know what?
Forget it.
150
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,153
This is just for
Steve's benefit.
151
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,633
My benefit?
152
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,895
Huh-ho!
153
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,419
Wow!
154
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,942
What am I lookin' at?!
155
00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,030
Right? Right?
156
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,988
Chicken Baby in the flesh.
157
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,034
Did I nail it or what?!
158
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,471
[sniffs]
And instead of milk,
159
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,778
Kool-Aid and...
Everclear?
160
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,562
Nothing but the best
for the best-dressed,
161
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,477
no-stress,
feeling young and blessed.
162
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,957
Dad, I'm worried you're gonna
spend all night
163
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,480
explaining your costume.
164
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,439
Oh, okay, I see--
165
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,831
You're jealous.
166
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,485
Aw, it's so sad.
167
00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,835
But I forgive you,
because as everyone knows,
168
00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,535
Chicken Baby has a big heart
full of forgiveness.
169
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,058
So go [bleep] yourself.
170
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,454
[music thumping,
guests cheering]
171
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,544
And there's Stiles
as a werewolf!
172
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,589
Better check your moon schedule
173
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,678
before you go camping
with this guy!
174
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:17,028
And look, Dick's a scarecrow!
175
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,423
Wouldn't hurt to check your moon
schedule about him too.
176
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,948
In fact, it's startin' to seem
like these moon schedule
177
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:27,604
party favors aren't as stupid
as people first thought!
178
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,476
[record scratch]
179
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,912
Bloody hell, Smith!
180
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,522
What are you?!
181
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,610
Probably should have checked
182
00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,046
your moon schedule
183
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,527
before you chose
that getup!
184
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:38,963
[laughter]
185
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:42,967
These 2017 moon schedules,
right?!
186
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,143
Indispensable!
187
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,711
[sloshing]
188
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,583
The manager's a real tyrant, huh?
189
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:52,934
Tell me about it, he's making me
work on my anniversary.
190
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,892
- HAYLEY: Jeff!
- Customer in the kitchen!
191
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,154
Hide!
192
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,547
What are you doing?!
193
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,940
You left me alone so long
194
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,507
I watched The Irishman
195
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:01,986
in its entirety on my phone!
196
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,161
I'm so sorry, babe!
197
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,903
The manager asked me
to wash dishes,
198
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,645
and then something came up
with, um, with...
199
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,994
Jane's babysitter.
200
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:12,736
Jane. So she asked me
to cover for her.
201
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,086
And I didn't know
she was working a double!
202
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:18,263
Jeff-- table, now.
203
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,570
Hey, If I don't see you again,
204
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,180
I just wanted to say,
205
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,182
thanks for telling me
about all the girls
206
00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,750
you banged at Christian camp.
207
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,796
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Jeff?
208
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,233
[groans]
Have you said all the parts?
209
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,930
- Get back in the kitchen!
- Okay.
210
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,932
- Jeff! Sit down!
- Okay.
211
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,194
It's happening!
212
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:39,589
I'm getting angry!
213
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,810
Aah! Jeff doesn't
work here, you moron!
214
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,073
He's just a people-pleaser
who can't say no!
215
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,204
My bad!
216
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,511
Thank you for choosing
Mama Mangia's!
217
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121
[smashes]
218
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:53,734
Jeff! You gotta stop doing
what everyone else wants.
219
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,953
You're not just a monkey
taking orders.
220
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,782
But I like doing what makes
other people happy.
221
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,132
That's my reason
for doing anything.
222
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,873
Plus, I like monkeys!
223
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,963
What about tonight?
Our "wedding's birthday"?
224
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,182
Did you want this?
225
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:09,097
Well, you asked me to marry you!
226
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,664
I what.
227
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,535
You proposed to me.
228
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:13,754
I thought you wanted--
229
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,625
I was talking about
where we're eating,
230
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,801
not our whole
[bleep] marriage!
231
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,629
Oh-ho, good.
232
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:20,674
Whew.
233
00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:21,979
The restaurant?
234
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,024
No.
235
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,721
Mmm... no.
236
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,636
I can't believe
you only married me
237
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,595
because I asked you to.
238
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,815
Babe, wait!
239
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,164
Could you
keep it down, please?!
240
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:35,558
I'm jerking off really
hard right now.
241
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,169
♪
242
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,823
Oh, hey, Jeff.
243
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:40,868
What's up, sad-ass?
244
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,826
I messed up.
245
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,349
And now Hayley's worried
246
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,656
I just married her
because she wanted me to.
247
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,005
But that's
what happened, right?
248
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,659
Yeah...
249
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,183
But I also married her
because I wanted me to.
250
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,185
I love babe.
251
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,231
She called me
a people pleaser.
252
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,189
Which turns out
is a bad thing!
253
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,931
Whoa, bad things are harsh.
254
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,803
Hey, could you give me a hand
plucking these
255
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,587
strawberry seeds
out of my toothbrushes?
256
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,068
My fingers are sore
from piano lessons.
257
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,636
Sounds like you have to show
Hayley you're capable of making
258
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,333
a self- motivated decision.
259
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,291
- Is that what I gotta do?
- Yes.
260
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:16,251
And you can do that by choosing
to do something no one
261
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,861
in the world
would want to do but you.
262
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,733
My heart's desire!
263
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,256
Yes!
264
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:22,779
But what is that?
265
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,607
I can't tell you that, Jeff.
266
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,217
But this little bag can.
267
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:28,306
- Is that drugs?
- Yes.
268
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:31,222
I love when drugs
are the solution!
269
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,358
Your costume is a failure.
270
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,841
You're a big,
stupid idiot, Stan.
271
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,757
Time to tear up
this Mensa membership card.
272
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,802
Men's spa?!
273
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:48,675
Oh, that's why no one wanted
to do anagrams
274
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,111
with me in the steam room.
275
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,898
[groaning, smack, thud]
276
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,900
MAN: Whoa, it's Chicken Baby!
277
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,988
Great costume!
278
00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,208
Who said thaaaaa...
279
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,385
[chimes]
280
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,822
My name is Shaman Randy,
281
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,695
you may know me as the part-time
lifeguard at the Y.
282
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,045
I was full-time
but they cut my hours.
283
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,700
Guess they don't care
if kids drown from 7:00 to 9:00.
284
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,180
[blowing]
285
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,922
This is Mother Ayahuasca.
286
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:22,273
And on today's journey she will
show you your heart's desire.
287
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:25,146
And mess you up
real good.
288
00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:27,017
Ayahuasca's so powerful,
289
00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,193
it costs ten whole dollars
290
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:32,675
for a container this big
at Whole Foods.
291
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,938
Tuttle's confusing ayahuasca
with açaí berries
292
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,200
I'm not correcting him.
293
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,941
Now ayahuasca can make you
294
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,421
feel a little
like vomiting.
295
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,684
But as the Dalai Lama
famously said,
296
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:44,252
"the more you throw up,
the more you grow up."
297
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,689
And then he famously threw up.
298
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:47,995
Namaste.
299
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,346
Shaman Randy?
300
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,087
Please, call me
Shaman Randy.
301
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,871
When will it kick in?
302
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:55,959
I don't feel any--
303
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:59,136
differreeennnt...
304
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:02,792
♪
305
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,489
♪ Quando o coracao para♪
306
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,840
Make my chilaquiles,
bitch!
307
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,234
♪ A eternidade começa♪
308
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,322
Aah! Oooh-ooh!
309
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:14,108
Mix tape!
"Thong Song"!
310
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:17,851
♪ Quando o ritmo cessa♪
311
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:22,246
♪ An be ta anga yalahoula♪
312
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,815
♪ Kiléganfai yalahoula♪
313
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,034
♪ An be ta anga koumahoula♪
314
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:27,991
Ooh-ooh! Shave me!
315
00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,732
Shave my monkey balls!
316
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,994
I'm supposed to be Chicken Baby!
317
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,300
Everybody knows!
318
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,172
♪ An be ta anga baro la♪
319
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,826
Moon schedules!
320
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,132
Get your indispensable
321
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,742
moon schedules!
322
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,178
Aah!
323
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:46,096
♪
324
00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:47,532
[tires squeal]
325
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:51,188
I know what I want!
I know what I want!
326
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,756
I know what I wanna do!
327
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:55,323
[retching]
328
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,890
Yes, yes,
that's quite common.
329
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,196
More have to than want to.
330
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:02,765
No, I know how to show Hayley
I'm capable of doing things
331
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,854
just because I want to do them.
332
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,943
I'm gonna drive a plane
333
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,815
across America!
334
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,252
Wow! I need you to wipe your
mouth immediately.
335
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:13,384
And you don't mean "fly"
a plane?
336
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:17,345
No.
My license is for driving.
337
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,564
I'm going to taxi
across the country,
338
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,871
right back into
Hayley's heart.
339
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,046
Well, I gotta hand it to you.
340
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,787
That's certainly something
no one else
341
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,921
in the history of time
has ever wanted to do.
342
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,270
But there's just
the small matter
343
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,011
of where to get a plane...
344
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,882
They have a ton of them
at the airport.
345
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,015
You know what, I could
give ya my old plane.
346
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,886
It's just been sitting
gathering dust.
347
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,148
Really?
348
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,063
If Jeff gets a plane,
349
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,022
can I get an Amen?!
350
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,067
- Amen!
- Amen!
351
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,590
[indistinct radio chatter]
352
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,418
[wheels clattering]
353
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,377
Wait, stop, stop!
354
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,118
It's okay, sir,
you hit your head pretty hard,
355
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,423
but you're gonna be fine.
356
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,208
No!
No I'm not!
357
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,427
My son...
he thinks so little of me.
358
00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,560
Well, that's pretty common.
359
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,041
No, somebody recognized
my costume!
360
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,086
It wasn't us...
361
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,435
But there was a guy in here!
362
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:06,916
[mysterious music]
363
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,178
A shoe!
364
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,136
Whoever was in that stall
365
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,615
got my costume,
366
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,226
and when he ran out
to share the good news,
367
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,401
he lost his shoe.
368
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,533
He's my Cinderella!
369
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:18,232
No one's leaving this party
until I find him.
370
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:21,322
When it's a man you say
Cinderfella, you bigot!
371
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:24,020
♪
372
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,936
Hayley, did you hide
my driving cane?
373
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,372
I'll hide it up your ass
if you don't get out of here.
374
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,505
- [gasps]
- I'm sorry, Klaus.
375
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,463
I-- I don't even know if
my husband
376
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,900
wanted to marry me.
377
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,292
Wow!
378
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,904
I'm touched you would open up
to me about this.
379
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,254
And fortunately,
I have some advice
380
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:43,257
- that'll solve--
- [jet engine roaring]
381
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,128
- Aah!
- What the hell?!
382
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,652
[engines idling]
383
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,873
Well, babe,
I guess it's pretty obvious
384
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,266
what this means!
385
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,398
No!
Not even a little bit!
386
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:57,924
I'm driving this thing
to North Dakota
387
00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:02,885
to remove any doubt about the
sincerity of my wedding vows!
388
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:06,236
That sounds kind of unnecessary
bordering on stupid!
389
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,890
I'm glad you think so!
390
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:11,546
'Cause that proves
I'm doing it for me!
391
00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,678
- [honking]
- Whoa!
392
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,507
Wonder where he's going
in such a hurry.
393
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:18,683
I'm flying this car
to Fort Lauderdale
394
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:21,338
to prove to my wife
I love her!
395
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,513
That's sweet.
396
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,167
[engine roaring]
397
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,169
[crash, explosion]
398
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,911
JEFF: His wife is gonna be
so happy.
399
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,350
So I don't know if my marriage
is even real.
400
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,526
Of course Jeff said "I do,"
401
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,701
but he never says
no to anything!
402
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:37,920
Oh, totally!
403
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,400
I dared him to kiss a bat--
404
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,314
and he did!
405
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,623
He also mounted our TV
and hung the picture frames
406
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,930
and got rid of the dead bat
in the back of the refrigerator.
407
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,149
This bat's dead?
408
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:51,020
[chuckles]
No, that's a different bat.
409
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,413
Our other bat.
410
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:54,067
Look, what I'm trying to say is,
411
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,546
I don't even know
if Jeff loves me.
412
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,418
Because of the bat?
413
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,289
- No.
- Of course he loves you.
414
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,422
He won't shut up about you!
415
00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,990
Oh my god, Nerf,
check out this bat.
416
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,687
Is he freaking gorgeous
or what?
417
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,558
Oh, my God, get it!
418
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:10,387
He's $6,000 though...
419
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,475
Screw it,
I'm getting it.
420
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:13,521
- I got it. It's done.
- Wait, guys!
421
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,349
What do you mean
Jeff won't shut up about me?
422
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,567
Do you guys talk to him a lot?
423
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,179
Yeah, mostly when
he's trimming my bush.
424
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,180
He always makes it
about you.
425
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,442
When he whats your what now?!
426
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,663
Oh, my God!
427
00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,404
Look, Jeff's always gonna be
428
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:30,016
a people pleaser,
that's just who he is.
429
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,235
But if you don't realize
he loves you,
430
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:35,325
- you are batshit crazy.
- Hey, look!
431
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:38,024
Someone's driving a big
metal bat on the highway!
432
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,417
For those of you who just
unmuted your TVs,
433
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,333
yes, someone is driving
a plane down the road,
434
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,205
causing incredible damage.
435
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,772
Eye witnesses say it even
tore through a Foot Locker,
436
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:51,341
exposing that they do, in fact,
have your size in the back.
437
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,561
Now let's throw it over
to Memphis,
438
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,998
who, like the plane,
is down on the ground.
439
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,434
MEMPHIS:
Y'hate to see it, Greg.
440
00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:00,742
Six adult bookstores,
completely decimated.
441
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:03,005
What was once the heartbeat
of Langley,
442
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:07,270
affectionately known
as Skin Alley, is now no more.
443
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:10,012
And now I'm standing next
to a man who seems to think
444
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,796
I'm going to interview him,
but I'm not.
445
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,276
Back to you!
446
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,801
[metal crashing, clanking]
447
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,760
This just feels good!
448
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,370
I'm following my heart,
449
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:23,025
showing babe that what we have
is real.
450
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,288
[chuckling]
And I'm in the middle of
451
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,725
a knife fight with Jesus.
452
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,075
[ringtone playing]
453
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,119
It's babe!
454
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,295
Wait, this isn't safe.
455
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,254
I should be in airplane mode.
456
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,516
[ringing stops]
457
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,127
I'm switching
to airplane mode, too.
458
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,738
I'm dying!
459
00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,480
That's everybody's shoes?
460
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,829
Yeah, Stan, you did it.
461
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,310
No one is wearing shoes.
462
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,791
I don't like that tone, Dick,
I'm not being stupid.
463
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,793
I'm looking for my
Cinderella shoe match.
464
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,317
Where are the hostage
negotiators?
465
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,405
Over there.
466
00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:57,364
Why aren't we using them?
467
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,756
Cuz they blew out their voices singing
468
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,715
"Livin' On A Prayer"
in the karaoke room.
469
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,543
That was them?!
470
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,066
It was worth it.
471
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,633
But we've contacted
Smith's family
472
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,461
and someone's coming
to talk him down.
473
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,639
Oh, boy. Dad?
474
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,467
Is everything okay?
475
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:14,511
Oh yeah.
476
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,078
Better than okay, Steve.
477
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,688
Contrary to what you thought,
478
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,082
someone recognized my costume.
479
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,084
And the...
[nervous chuckle]
480
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,434
The shoes are for what, Dad?
481
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,349
I'm looking for my Cinderella--
482
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,483
the man who recognized
my costume left a shoe behind.
483
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,528
Couldn't you have just looked
for the person with one shoe?
484
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,878
Millennials, always taking
the easy way.
485
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,619
And you--
486
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,709
you're only wearing
one shoe, Dad.
487
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,668
[mysterious music]
488
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,892
So your Cinderella is...
489
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,329
Me.
490
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,679
So that must mean
my subconscious told me
491
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:54,682
how kickass my costume
was before I passed out.
492
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:56,336
I guess I should feel lucky
to have
493
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,512
such a supportive subconscious.
494
00:17:58,512 --> 00:17:59,556
Great, Dad.
495
00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:00,905
So can everybody go home
496
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,472
to their families then?
497
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,648
Not quite yet, Steve.
498
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:07,129
Maybe you guys didn't know
I was Chicken Baby,
499
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,652
but I knew.
500
00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:09,827
And that was the lesson
501
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,699
I was trying to teach my son.
502
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,179
Teach all of you really.
503
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,398
Because if you know
who you are in here--
504
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,270
Uh-oh, here comes
the tranquilizer.
505
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,749
Then it doesn't matter
what anybody else thinks of you
506
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,751
Chicken Baby's a metaphor
for being yourself--
507
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,405
[fires, dart sticks]
508
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,407
Let the party continue!
509
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,757
We still have the photo booth
for an hour
510
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:30,152
if anyone wants to wear
a funny hat with me!
511
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,197
MAN: Get off the road!
512
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,589
WOMAN: You're making me late!
513
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,548
MAN #2:
Ever heard of flying, moron?!
514
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,245
JEFF: Sorry!
515
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,421
I know Babe told me not to care
516
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,249
if people are mad at me,
517
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,685
but I do care!
518
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,905
I can't not care!
519
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,559
I give up!
520
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:49,824
[honking]
521
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,826
[metal crashing]
522
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:55,482
[honking subsides]
523
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,451
Tuttle, put some clothes
on, bud.
524
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,279
We're in mixed company.
525
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,281
TUTTLE:
I don't wanna!
526
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:14,196
Babe, we need to talk.
527
00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,546
No, babe,
we need to talk.
528
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,853
I tried my hardest to show you
I love you,
529
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:21,203
but I just got in everybody's
way and they were honking
530
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,683
and I felt terrible.
531
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,511
I failed.
532
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,687
If you don't want to be
married to me,
533
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,297
I understand.
534
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,299
No, babe.
Just the opposite.
535
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,866
I love you, Jeff.
536
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,824
And I know that being
a people pleaser
537
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:37,306
is just part of the whole
beautiful package of Jeff.
538
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,873
But I didn't prove I love you!
539
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:40,353
You don't have to.
540
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,224
Nerfer and Danuta
did it for you.
541
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,226
Aww, those guys are great.
542
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,923
They let me kiss a bat!
543
00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,360
When you try to make
people happy,
544
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,884
it's your way of showing
you love them.
545
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:52,278
And nobody could make me
happier than you do.
546
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,850
What in Tony Mendez's
blessed name are you doing?!
547
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,852
My girl Margot at
the Argo Museum
548
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,376
told me to turn on the news
549
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:06,248
'cause there's an embargo on
my cargo headed for Fargo!
550
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,424
This plane needs to get
to North Dakota
551
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,252
or I'm not getting
400 bucks.
552
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,514
Wait, this was your idea?
553
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,560
As Jeff's ayahuasca shaman,
554
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,345
I may have had a light hand
in guiding him.
555
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,694
[bell chimes]
556
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:21,785
Drive my plane to Fargo!
557
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,352
That's your heart's desire!
558
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,702
Okay?
Drive my plane to Fargo!
559
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,704
Heart's desire!
560
00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,706
So get back on
the plane, Jeff!
561
00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:31,621
- You gotta get movin'!
- No!
562
00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:34,276
Find somebody else
to drive your plane!
563
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:39,281
[chanting]
564
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,891
Never mind, I just spotted
565
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:43,329
an extremely
qualified candidate.
566
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:47,768
[moaning]
567
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,603
Aah!
568
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:57,647
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
569
00:20:57,697 --> 00:21:02,247
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