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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:05,134 --> 00:00:08,149
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,242 --> 00:00:11,696
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,797 --> 00:00:14,963
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:18,134
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,379
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,473 --> 00:00:23,057
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,141 --> 00:00:24,939
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:25,024 --> 00:00:30,337
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:35,304 --> 00:00:38,252
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
The guy who dyes my hair
11
00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:40,236
is on vacation
and I can't get a hold of him.
12
00:00:40,321 --> 00:00:43,182
Our top story tonight:
Excitement in the music world
13
00:00:43,267 --> 00:00:46,752
as former Jolly Farm starMary Elizabeth Becca Ryan
14
00:00:46,837 --> 00:00:48,520
is releasing her debut single,
15
00:00:48,614 --> 00:00:51,190
the surprisingly filthy
"Face Chair."
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00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,666
Oh, my God!
I can't believe MEBR
17
00:00:53,751 --> 00:00:55,704
is finally releasing
her first song.
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00:00:55,788 --> 00:00:58,456
- "MEBR"?
- Yes. Mary Elizabeth Becca Ryan.
19
00:00:58,607 --> 00:01:00,376
Her real fans call her MEBR.
20
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:02,446
I've literally never heard
you talk about her.
21
00:01:02,531 --> 00:01:04,760
Talk about MEBR?
I'm always talking about MEBR.
22
00:01:04,845 --> 00:01:06,895
I love MEBR.
If I weren't such a big fan,
23
00:01:07,024 --> 00:01:09,758
would I have MEBR tattooed
right above my root?
24
00:01:10,999 --> 00:01:12,665
That is very low.
25
00:01:12,955 --> 00:01:15,214
Yeah. It's a root tattoo.
They're low.
26
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:16,957
Brian, I have followed
her whole career
27
00:01:17,051 --> 00:01:19,061
ever since she was the little
pig who went "oink, oink"
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00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,470
on Jolly Farm.
29
00:01:20,554 --> 00:01:22,480
I can't believe
it's the same girl.
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00:01:22,631 --> 00:01:25,316
You know, all the Jolly Farm
kids grew up to be stars.
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00:01:25,467 --> 00:01:27,318
Except for the ones
who went broke, OD'd,
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00:01:27,469 --> 00:01:30,395
or are now just clickbait
mug shots on the CNN web page.
33
00:01:30,531 --> 00:01:33,483
But I'm all in on MEBR.
She is a superstar.
34
00:01:33,567 --> 00:01:35,141
I told you she'd grow up
to be hot.
35
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:37,579
You couldn't say that then
and you can't say it now.
36
00:01:37,663 --> 00:01:40,122
Did and did.
(clicks tongue)
37
00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:46,245
Hey, Dad, will you have
a catch with me?
38
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,331
I heard girls like
baseball players,
39
00:01:48,415 --> 00:01:51,583
so I want to learn how to throw
batteries at baseball players.
40
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,761
Ah, I'd love to, Chris.
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00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:58,832
(panting)
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00:01:58,926 --> 00:02:00,409
There's no better...
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00:02:00,502 --> 00:02:02,186
bonding experience...
44
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,088
than a father...
45
00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:05,914
and a son...
46
00:02:06,008 --> 00:02:08,025
having a catch.
47
00:02:08,176 --> 00:02:09,611
I'm out.
48
00:02:09,695 --> 00:02:12,271
Better call in
Boston Dynamics Dad instead.
49
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,031
Come on, sport.
50
00:02:14,182 --> 00:02:15,617
I will throw
and catch with you
51
00:02:15,701 --> 00:02:18,536
and not study your emotions
for future enslavement.
52
00:02:18,687 --> 00:02:21,372
I think it might be time to get
your weight under control.
53
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,099
It's affecting your relationship
with Chris.
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00:02:24,192 --> 00:02:27,119
Boys need a father
who can spend time with them.
55
00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,029
No, I'm fine.
56
00:02:29,123 --> 00:02:31,358
Couple hard sniffs and a spit,
and I'll be good.
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00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:33,592
(sniffing)
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00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:37,888
Okay, okay, that's a no-go.
59
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,143
Just put me on a blanket
and slide me to the TV.
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00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,477
[♪ ♪]
61
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:54,963
Oh, hey, Bri. Just recording
a new Tok to MEBR's song.
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00:02:55,057 --> 00:02:57,149
Don't you think that song's
a little too dirty
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00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,643
for a baby to be singing?
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00:02:58,727 --> 00:03:01,404
"Face Chair" isn't dirty.
Look at the lyrics.
65
00:03:01,488 --> 00:03:03,138
"Knock, knock. There's a box.
66
00:03:03,231 --> 00:03:04,915
"And it's coming for you.
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00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,743
"Open up. With care.
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00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:09,563
Then drop that box
right on your chair."
69
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,980
See? It's basically
an unboxing video.
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00:03:12,074 --> 00:03:14,333
Okay. I'm gonna go eat
my Taco Bell in the other room.
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00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,253
You know,
you shouldn't eat Taco Bell.
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00:03:16,337 --> 00:03:18,347
MEBR says you should
only eat organic food,
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00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:19,832
because it's better
for the environment.
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00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:23,439
I had $1.67 and I wanted
two tacos and a big soda.
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00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:26,161
And, what, you taking all
your cues from a pop star now?
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00:03:26,254 --> 00:03:28,081
Oh, I'm sorry, but do you have
60 million followers
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00:03:28,165 --> 00:03:30,774
- on Instagram?
- I think you know I have 12.
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00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:33,669
11. Joe's out
after your defund post.
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00:03:33,762 --> 00:03:35,428
And I'm more than just a fan.
80
00:03:35,522 --> 00:03:36,773
I'm a Maryonette.
81
00:03:36,857 --> 00:03:38,449
We're like Beyoncé's BeyHive,
82
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,202
except there's
no marionette emoji,
83
00:03:40,286 --> 00:03:42,112
so we just send jumbo pretzels.
84
00:03:42,196 --> 00:03:43,764
I don't think
it's healthy for you to attach
85
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,739
so much of your personality
to a celebrity.
86
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,458
You should be thinking
for yourself.
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00:03:47,609 --> 00:03:50,028
This from a guy
who blindly runs into a room
88
00:03:50,112 --> 00:03:52,455
whenever he hears a can opener.
You don't get it.
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00:03:52,539 --> 00:03:55,275
She sees the world in a way
you won't ever see, Brian.
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00:03:55,359 --> 00:03:56,692
With blues and greens?
91
00:03:56,785 --> 00:03:58,694
Ye... uh, well, yeah,
I guess that, too.
92
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,879
You know, she has a concert
in Quahog tomorrow.
93
00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:02,966
You should come with me,
and I can show you
94
00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:04,216
what makes her so special.
95
00:04:04,368 --> 00:04:05,809
That sounds like my hell.
96
00:04:05,961 --> 00:04:08,979
There is nothing you can do
to get me to go to that concert.
97
00:04:10,224 --> 00:04:12,441
(scraping)
98
00:04:13,394 --> 00:04:15,135
MEBR concert, please.
99
00:04:15,229 --> 00:04:17,655
Oh, I'm a dumb dog.
100
00:04:21,051 --> 00:04:22,819
Hey, any of you know
how to tie a tie?
101
00:04:22,903 --> 00:04:24,403
I have to go
to a patient's funeral.
102
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:25,555
You can just Google it.
103
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,480
Yeah, I did that
before my last surgery.
104
00:04:27,574 --> 00:04:30,575
(chuckling): And, well, there's
a lot of bad info out there.
105
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:32,744
Anyway,
how can I help you today?
106
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,648
Peter needs to lose weight,
and we were hoping
107
00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:35,839
you could help us.
108
00:04:36,066 --> 00:04:37,749
Sure, there are
a few options we could try.
109
00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:40,062
- You can increase your exercise.
- Pass.
110
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,080
- Switch to a vegan diet.
- I'd rather die.
111
00:04:42,164 --> 00:04:43,755
- Or quit drinking.
- (bleep)
112
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,241
Is there something simple
we could start with first?
113
00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:48,243
Yeah, what did
Honey Boo Boo's mom do?
114
00:04:48,336 --> 00:04:49,928
We have a similar work ethic.
115
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,522
She had lap band surgery.
116
00:04:51,673 --> 00:04:52,999
If you're interested
in that option,
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00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,043
the hospital is running
a promotion where it comes
118
00:04:55,177 --> 00:04:56,612
with a free Nintendo Switch.
119
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:59,938
Lap band surgery is very popular
in the Switch community.
120
00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:01,699
Do I have to walk
to the surgery room?
121
00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:03,902
We'll put you on a blanket,
and slide you in right now.
122
00:05:03,986 --> 00:05:05,211
I'll do it.
123
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,711
Oh, my God. This is worse.
124
00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:15,297
I feel amazing.
125
00:05:15,381 --> 00:05:17,631
Like a bride on his wedding day.
126
00:05:19,201 --> 00:05:23,128
♪ At last ♪
127
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:27,516
♪ My love has come along. ♪
128
00:05:29,544 --> 00:05:32,171
I did stuff with the stripper
at the bachelorette party.
129
00:05:32,255 --> 00:05:34,057
But I'm here now.
130
00:05:34,141 --> 00:05:35,899
I'm here now.
131
00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,026
[♪ ♪]
132
00:05:39,645 --> 00:05:41,322
♪ Open up with care ♪
133
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,889
♪ Then drop that boxright in your chair... ♪
134
00:05:43,975 --> 00:05:46,604
Time to immortalize
this moment with a photo,
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00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:49,949
because pictures at concerts
always turn out great.
136
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:54,418
(crowd cheering)
137
00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:56,569
Thank you,
my little Maryonettes.
138
00:05:56,738 --> 00:05:58,571
Now please enjoy
this prerecorded bridge
139
00:05:58,665 --> 00:06:02,092
while I check my phone,
like all Gen Z performers.
140
00:06:02,244 --> 00:06:04,386
[♪ ♪]
141
00:06:06,248 --> 00:06:08,432
What?
142
00:06:15,654 --> 00:06:16,818
(phone buzzes)
143
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,842
Oh, MEBR responded!
144
00:06:18,936 --> 00:06:20,187
Uh-oh.
145
00:06:20,459 --> 00:06:21,773
- (phone buzzes)
- What?
146
00:06:21,858 --> 00:06:23,855
She thought my post
was making fun of her.
147
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,357
She put me on blast.
148
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,194
I need to send an apology.
149
00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,155
And people reported me, my
account is blocked and locked.
150
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,452
What the hell is happening?
151
00:06:31,537 --> 00:06:34,835
Can I just address something
for a second, my Maryonettes?
152
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,037
Bullying is unacceptable.
153
00:06:37,155 --> 00:06:40,322
And Stewie Griffin is a bully.
154
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,943
(crowd booing)
155
00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:44,788
Aw, man, we got
to get you out of here
156
00:06:44,873 --> 00:06:45,703
before someone recognizes you.
157
00:06:45,787 --> 00:06:47,045
Yeah, let's grab our coats
158
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:48,472
and get the hell out of here.
159
00:06:48,623 --> 00:06:50,215
Yes, I misplaced my ticket,
160
00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:52,148
but it is a glen plaid car coat
161
00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:54,202
- with a fur-lined collar.
- Which one?
162
00:06:54,287 --> 00:06:57,015
How many glen plaid car coats
with fur-lined collars
163
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,489
- are back there?
- Is this it?
164
00:06:58,631 --> 00:07:01,515
The pleather jacket
with every NFL logo on it?
165
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,798
Is that a glen plaid car coat
with a fur-lined collar?
166
00:07:03,883 --> 00:07:06,066
- Actually, that's mine.
- That's yours?
167
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:08,393
Hey, don't get mad at me
'cause you lost your ticket.
168
00:07:08,478 --> 00:07:09,902
Oop, and here comes the rain.
169
00:07:10,193 --> 00:07:11,671
Oh, God.
170
00:07:11,756 --> 00:07:13,640
At least tell me
you have my cane handle
171
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:14,917
Burberry doorman umbrella.
172
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:17,421
I have a chewed-up
walking stick with gum on it.
173
00:07:17,544 --> 00:07:18,544
Right here, brah.
174
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:22,150
All items accounted for.
175
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:30,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
176
00:07:35,295 --> 00:07:36,550
How you hanging in, Stewie?
177
00:07:36,635 --> 00:07:37,651
Not good.
178
00:07:37,736 --> 00:07:39,419
The Maryonettes are
still attacking me.
179
00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:40,778
All my accounts are
being flooded,
180
00:07:40,862 --> 00:07:43,029
they doxed
my favorite Froyo place,
181
00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:46,141
and someone even made a deep fake
of me at the Capitol riots.
182
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,819
I was there, but I never went
inside the building, man!
183
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:53,516
Well, this is all a product
of the Stan culture.
184
00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:56,172
See, fans form these
strong bonds with celebrities,
185
00:07:56,257 --> 00:07:57,512
so when you insult them,
186
00:07:57,597 --> 00:08:00,516
you inadvertently start a war
with thousands of people.
187
00:08:00,601 --> 00:08:02,141
I wish I could explain myself.
188
00:08:02,226 --> 00:08:03,581
But no one will listen.
189
00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:05,016
Well, hopefully
it all blows over.
190
00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:07,336
It won't, Brian.
You don't know the Maryonettes.
191
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:09,173
What I need to do is
reach out to them.
192
00:08:09,258 --> 00:08:11,649
- Extend an olive branch.
- What are you thinking?
193
00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:14,077
You remember when Gal Gadot
got those celebrities
194
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,839
to sing "Imagine"
in $300,000 kitchens?
195
00:08:16,923 --> 00:08:18,739
Well, I filmed myself singing
196
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:21,084
in moderately priced kitchens.
197
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:24,670
Hey, guys, you know,
this virus of hate has infected
198
00:08:24,822 --> 00:08:27,156
my entire world.
And I saw this video
199
00:08:27,325 --> 00:08:30,186
of this Italian guy playing
the trumpet, um, on his balcony,
200
00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:33,771
and, uh, there was
something so powerful and pure,
201
00:08:33,922 --> 00:08:36,600
um, about this video,
and it goes...
202
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,943
It goes like this.
203
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,779
♪ Mr. Lover Lover, mmm ♪
204
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:44,441
♪ Mr. Lover Lover,
mmm ♪
205
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,266
♪ She call me Mr. Boombastic ♪
206
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:48,801
♪ Tell me fantastic,
touch me on my back ♪
207
00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:51,180
♪ She says I'm Mr. Ro, Ro ♪
208
00:08:51,807 --> 00:08:53,807
♪ Mantic, call me fantastic ♪
209
00:08:53,892 --> 00:08:57,148
♪ Touch me on my back,
she says I'm Mr. Ro ♪
210
00:08:57,233 --> 00:09:00,735
♪ Smooth just like a silk-a. ♪
211
00:09:00,861 --> 00:09:02,077
How are people liking it?
212
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,393
Oh, it's made it much worse.
213
00:09:07,599 --> 00:09:08,782
Hey, where's Dad?
214
00:09:08,867 --> 00:09:10,232
He said he was gonna help me
215
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,493
with my science fair project.
216
00:09:11,578 --> 00:09:13,255
Up here, kids.
217
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:15,154
(royal fanfare playing)
218
00:09:20,486 --> 00:09:21,652
Thoughts?
219
00:09:21,746 --> 00:09:24,072
We're gonna call you Mr. Skin.
220
00:09:24,156 --> 00:09:25,332
Um...
221
00:09:25,416 --> 00:09:26,916
(whispering indistinctly)
222
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,084
Oh, really?
223
00:09:28,311 --> 00:09:30,896
Uh, we'll... we'll call you
something else.
224
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,980
You know what?
You guys can't hurt me.
225
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,481
I like my new look.
226
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:37,085
So, are you gonna help me
with my science fair project?
227
00:09:37,169 --> 00:09:39,261
I would love to, Chris,
but like all people
228
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:42,598
who undergo drastic weight loss,
I have time to make up for.
229
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,342
And that means abandoning
the people who stuck with me
230
00:09:45,494 --> 00:09:46,751
through the fat years.
231
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:48,753
You'll understand
when you're older.
232
00:09:48,848 --> 00:09:51,690
- Is there a bit of a smell?
- There's a bit of a smell.
233
00:09:55,486 --> 00:09:58,010
Hey, what's everyone thinking
for playtime?
234
00:09:58,095 --> 00:10:00,370
Hi. I'll speak for the group.
235
00:10:00,455 --> 00:10:02,723
We heard about
what you did, Stewie.
236
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:05,535
No one wants to play with you.
237
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,554
Okay. I see.
238
00:10:07,638 --> 00:10:10,565
I guess I'll just play with
this doctor's waiting room toy
239
00:10:10,650 --> 00:10:12,466
where you push a bead
along a wire.
240
00:10:12,551 --> 00:10:15,069
Plenty of room if anybody wants
to join.
241
00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:17,554
It's a multi-kid toy. Anybody?
242
00:10:17,648 --> 00:10:19,807
I already pushed the bead
through the double twist
243
00:10:19,892 --> 00:10:21,242
where it gets fast for a second.
244
00:10:21,327 --> 00:10:23,263
Scary part's over. Anybody?
245
00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:25,009
Preschool is supposed
to be more about
246
00:10:25,094 --> 00:10:26,760
socialization than education.
247
00:10:26,845 --> 00:10:29,559
This could have lasting
long-term damage. Anybody?
248
00:10:29,644 --> 00:10:31,895
They say kids
who aren't properly socialized
249
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:33,712
by the age of five
can never catch up.
250
00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:35,324
Doctors agree. Anybody?
251
00:10:35,521 --> 00:10:37,929
It doesn't necessarily affect
financial outcomes,
252
00:10:38,014 --> 00:10:39,922
more affects stable
emotional relationships.
253
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,174
There's a lot of literature
about it. Anybody?
254
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,948
A long-term study out
of the University of Indiana
255
00:10:45,033 --> 00:10:47,118
backs this up. I know
that doesn't sound impressive,
256
00:10:47,203 --> 00:10:49,503
but all the Ivy League schools
couldn't find fault in it.
257
00:10:49,588 --> 00:10:51,230
Anybody?
258
00:10:55,478 --> 00:10:57,794
Go away, Brian.
I've already made my decision.
259
00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:00,182
There's nothing you can say
that will change my mind.
260
00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,109
You texted me to come outside.
261
00:11:02,193 --> 00:11:04,526
This whole ordeal has made
my life a living hell,
262
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:06,028
and I no longer feel safe.
263
00:11:06,122 --> 00:11:08,956
So Rupert and I have decided
to lay low for a while.
264
00:11:09,108 --> 00:11:09,957
Where are you gonna go?
265
00:11:10,109 --> 00:11:11,533
We're going to a restorative
266
00:11:11,686 --> 00:11:13,127
meditation retreat
in the mountains.
267
00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:15,789
We will be unplugging our minds
and our bodies.
268
00:11:15,873 --> 00:11:18,874
Yes, Rupert, there will still be
one thing getting plugged.
269
00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:21,118
- (laughing)
- Oh, gosh.
270
00:11:21,212 --> 00:11:22,878
I know. This guy is twisted.
271
00:11:22,972 --> 00:11:25,449
Look, what's happened to you
is unfair.
272
00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:27,658
The Stewie Griffin I know
is a good person.
273
00:11:27,743 --> 00:11:29,803
And I want you to know
that I'm on your side.
274
00:11:29,887 --> 00:11:32,313
Thanks, Brian.
Can you tweet that?
275
00:11:32,464 --> 00:11:34,890
An online ally would be
really helpful right now.
276
00:11:34,984 --> 00:11:37,318
- I know, right?
- Someone publicly standing up
277
00:11:37,469 --> 00:11:39,220
for me could start
changing the conversation.
278
00:11:39,304 --> 00:11:41,073
- Totally.
- Just need one person.
279
00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:42,973
- All it takes is one.
- Could be you.
280
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,060
- Yep.
- You're still not taking out your phone.
281
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:48,037
Look, my point is, I am here
for you right now, privately,
282
00:11:48,222 --> 00:11:49,990
and out of earshot
of anyone I know.
283
00:11:50,074 --> 00:11:51,724
You are gonna get
through this, champ.
284
00:11:51,817 --> 00:11:53,225
- Coward.
- And friend.
285
00:11:53,318 --> 00:11:54,727
I'm just gonna go grab
my sun hat,
286
00:11:54,820 --> 00:11:56,337
and then we are out of here.
287
00:11:59,658 --> 00:12:01,342
Rupert! No!
288
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,670
They killed him!
289
00:12:03,754 --> 00:12:05,264
He blew up!
290
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:08,315
I had an IT band blow up
last year,
291
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,843
still finished the 10K.
292
00:12:09,927 --> 00:12:11,593
SINGERS: ♪ Cocky jogger. ♪
293
00:12:11,688 --> 00:12:13,376
A personal best.
294
00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:23,148
Hey, Stewie. You doing okay?
295
00:12:23,232 --> 00:12:25,107
I'm just going through
all of Rupert's stuff.
296
00:12:25,259 --> 00:12:26,701
He had a space suit?
297
00:12:26,852 --> 00:12:28,454
Yes, he wanted
to be an astronaut,
298
00:12:28,538 --> 00:12:30,538
but he got disqualified
because of an astigmatism.
299
00:12:30,689 --> 00:12:33,541
Every night he'd go to the
window and look up at the moon.
300
00:12:33,692 --> 00:12:35,410
His unreachable dream.
301
00:12:35,494 --> 00:12:38,045
Of course, he usually ended up
just staring at a night-light.
302
00:12:38,197 --> 00:12:41,031
(crying): He really did
have the vision of a crawfish.
303
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:42,635
Aw, please don't cry.
304
00:12:42,719 --> 00:12:44,367
I start whining when people cry
305
00:12:44,462 --> 00:12:45,862
because it sounds
like a fire truck.
306
00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:47,204
It's just so unfair.
307
00:12:47,298 --> 00:12:49,114
Rupert and I were finally
in a good place
308
00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,717
after the difficulties
of the summer.
309
00:12:50,801 --> 00:12:52,052
Oh, gosh.
310
00:12:52,136 --> 00:12:53,976
Do you know what the worst part
of all this is?
311
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:56,472
Mary Elizabeth Becca Ryan
has said nothing.
312
00:12:56,624 --> 00:12:58,892
She knows what her fans will do
when they're activated,
313
00:12:58,976 --> 00:13:00,626
and she has been silent.
314
00:13:00,795 --> 00:13:02,903
I know. She should have
to take some responsibility
315
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,147
for the actions of her fans.
316
00:13:05,241 --> 00:13:07,621
- It's like Nelson Mandela said.
- This will be wrong.
317
00:13:07,706 --> 00:13:10,632
"With great power
comes great responsibility."
318
00:13:10,717 --> 00:13:11,901
Yeah, that's Spider-Man.
319
00:13:11,986 --> 00:13:14,081
My point is, if celebrities
don't like something,
320
00:13:14,233 --> 00:13:15,493
they can just not like it.
321
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,294
They don't have
to use their emotions
322
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:18,980
as a weapon to destroy people.
323
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,307
I'm lucky
I'm a strong-minded person.
324
00:13:21,392 --> 00:13:22,841
Do you have any idea
how hard it is
325
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:24,400
to sit through
a couples' massage
326
00:13:24,485 --> 00:13:26,011
when your partner's
not even there?
327
00:13:26,095 --> 00:13:27,595
You still went on the retreat?
328
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:28,846
It was prepaid.
329
00:13:29,101 --> 00:13:31,830
Eating 3,000 bucks isn't
gonna bring Rupert back.
330
00:13:31,915 --> 00:13:34,471
Also, the Liebmans planned
their whole weekend around us,
331
00:13:34,556 --> 00:13:36,915
and it just didn't seem right
to leave them high and dry.
332
00:13:37,126 --> 00:13:39,471
Marty Liebman was on his iPad
the whole time.
333
00:13:39,556 --> 00:13:41,681
Guy's addicted to work.
334
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:46,158
There you are.
335
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:47,889
Where have you
been all day, Peter?
336
00:13:47,973 --> 00:13:49,712
You were supposed
to be helping Chris
337
00:13:49,797 --> 00:13:51,900
with his science fair project.
338
00:13:52,069 --> 00:13:53,962
Peter, get out of that cocoon!
339
00:13:54,047 --> 00:13:55,455
It's a chrysalis.
340
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,656
Peter, the whole reason
you got this surgery
341
00:13:57,807 --> 00:13:59,604
in the first place
was so you could spend time
342
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:02,598
with your son, and all
you've done is ignore him.
343
00:14:03,907 --> 00:14:06,425
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH:
Left alone with only his thoughts
344
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,445
and the smells of his own holes,
345
00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:12,624
the Griffin achieves
a rare moment of accountability.
346
00:14:16,334 --> 00:14:18,510
Stewie, you in there?
347
00:14:19,245 --> 00:14:20,971
Stewie?
348
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,486
Oh, no. He's gonna kill her.
349
00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:31,775
I've got to stop him.
350
00:14:31,859 --> 00:14:33,434
I got to get
to the Walk of Fame.
351
00:14:33,692 --> 00:14:35,618
Walk? Yeah, want
to go for a walk, boy?
352
00:14:35,703 --> 00:14:37,229
I do.
Who wants to go for a walk?
353
00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:38,876
Me! I'll get the leash.
354
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,181
Leash? What am I doing?
355
00:14:45,827 --> 00:14:48,064
So, UV radiation can
effectively control
356
00:14:48,149 --> 00:14:49,659
a cave's harmful microorganisms
357
00:14:49,744 --> 00:14:51,812
while being less toxic
to cave dwellers
358
00:14:51,897 --> 00:14:53,672
such as birds and reptiles.
Thank you.
359
00:14:53,946 --> 00:14:56,464
Wow, very impressive, Patty.
I learned a lot.
360
00:14:56,616 --> 00:14:59,617
I also learned that your parents
are little people.
361
00:14:59,711 --> 00:15:02,762
And that certainly won't be
all I'm thinking about.
362
00:15:05,792 --> 00:15:07,767
[♪ ♪]
363
00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:17,319
Our next student is
Chris Griffin,
364
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:19,313
presenting Benjamin Franklin's
365
00:15:19,397 --> 00:15:21,364
discovery of electricity.
366
00:15:23,051 --> 00:15:26,079
The year: 1752.
367
00:15:26,163 --> 00:15:28,905
The man: Benjamin Franklin.
368
00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:30,740
He owned two slaves,
369
00:15:30,825 --> 00:15:33,676
a detail that is both important
and not important.
370
00:15:33,895 --> 00:15:36,579
A simple gust of wind
stands between him
371
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:39,799
and an electric discovery.
372
00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:44,446
(all gasp)
373
00:15:44,531 --> 00:15:45,759
That was my glass eye,
374
00:15:45,844 --> 00:15:48,245
but it's still
a tremendous inconvenience.
375
00:15:49,453 --> 00:15:51,302
It's best to leave
these things in.
376
00:15:51,387 --> 00:15:53,162
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no.
377
00:15:53,247 --> 00:15:55,480
I knew the dangers
of this unpaid position.
378
00:15:57,110 --> 00:15:59,267
Well, there's no way
to compete without a kite,
379
00:15:59,352 --> 00:16:02,522
so the least surprising "F"
of the day goes to...
380
00:16:02,607 --> 00:16:04,616
PETER:
I'll be his kite.
381
00:16:07,083 --> 00:16:08,259
Dad?
382
00:16:08,506 --> 00:16:10,514
I'm sorry I ditched you
this week, Chris.
383
00:16:10,599 --> 00:16:12,540
I got so caught up
in my new body
384
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,458
that I forgot
who I did this for.
385
00:16:14,619 --> 00:16:16,878
But I'm here now
and I want to make it up to you.
386
00:16:17,105 --> 00:16:18,630
Chris Griffin.
387
00:16:20,524 --> 00:16:22,525
Make me your kite.
388
00:16:24,721 --> 00:16:26,462
Can we move on? This is weird.
389
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,203
No, I like weird. Continue.
390
00:16:39,236 --> 00:16:41,403
It's working.
391
00:16:43,573 --> 00:16:45,815
This is why I like weird.
392
00:16:46,493 --> 00:16:49,619
So, as Benjamin Franklin's
slaves did all the hard work
393
00:16:49,704 --> 00:16:52,838
around his house, he flew a kite
with his illegitimate son,
394
00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:55,750
who grew up to fight
for the British against his dad.
395
00:16:55,835 --> 00:16:58,486
And he invented
the rocking chair.
396
00:16:58,571 --> 00:17:00,598
Where's his musical?
397
00:17:00,682 --> 00:17:03,073
I've never seen Quahog
from this high before.
398
00:17:03,168 --> 00:17:05,345
A lot of cars
parked in backyards.
399
00:17:05,429 --> 00:17:06,928
What a dump.
400
00:17:07,097 --> 00:17:09,182
(whimpering)
401
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:11,641
(grunting):
Rob Riggle!
402
00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:14,769
Aah!
(grunts)
403
00:17:15,578 --> 00:17:17,353
Well done, Chris.
404
00:17:17,438 --> 00:17:20,107
Kind of a hit job on one
of our beloved founding fathers,
405
00:17:20,259 --> 00:17:22,277
but he's had it good
for a while.
406
00:17:22,481 --> 00:17:24,589
You win the science fair.
407
00:17:24,674 --> 00:17:26,950
Did you hear that, Dad? I won.
408
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:28,706
Loud hiss, hot brain.
409
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,689
I couldn't have done it
without you.
410
00:17:30,774 --> 00:17:33,525
Up and down shaky eyes.
411
00:17:38,715 --> 00:17:41,115
Afternoon, citizens.
412
00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:44,806
I said, "Afternoon, citizens."
413
00:17:44,993 --> 00:17:46,719
ALL:
Afternoon, Mayor West.
414
00:17:46,845 --> 00:17:48,221
That's better.
415
00:17:48,305 --> 00:17:51,548
Today Quahog honors
Mary Elizabeth...
416
00:17:51,884 --> 00:17:54,299
Hell, I'm not saying
the whole thing.
417
00:17:54,384 --> 00:17:57,795
Her hands will be immortalized
with other Quahog greats
418
00:17:57,889 --> 00:18:01,625
on this here sidewalk,
and definitely won't be sold
419
00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:05,040
as molds
to Chinese sex doll companies.
420
00:18:05,173 --> 00:18:07,230
We are mostly done with that.
421
00:18:07,324 --> 00:18:08,731
You can't go through here.
422
00:18:08,825 --> 00:18:10,392
It's only for people
who work for Miss Ryan.
423
00:18:10,476 --> 00:18:12,869
You have to let me through.
I'm Ed Sheeran.
424
00:18:12,954 --> 00:18:14,488
You're not Ed Sheeran.
425
00:18:14,572 --> 00:18:16,831
You're a weird-looking baby
with an English accent.
426
00:18:16,916 --> 00:18:18,258
(gasps)
Oh, my God!
427
00:18:18,409 --> 00:18:20,689
Right this way, Mr. Sheeran.
428
00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:23,204
Hey, MEBR.
429
00:18:23,431 --> 00:18:24,839
Stewie, don't!
430
00:18:24,944 --> 00:18:26,415
Killing her is
not gonna fix this.
431
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,510
Brian? I'm not gonna kill her.
432
00:18:28,636 --> 00:18:30,061
I just want to talk to her.
433
00:18:30,249 --> 00:18:31,764
An actual conversation
would have saved
434
00:18:31,848 --> 00:18:33,515
this whole mess
in the first place.
435
00:18:33,666 --> 00:18:36,627
Who are you guys,
and why are you backstage?
436
00:18:36,712 --> 00:18:37,852
Don't you remember me?
437
00:18:38,004 --> 00:18:40,246
I'm the guy
who insulted you online.
438
00:18:40,339 --> 00:18:41,764
I'm the "oink oink" guy.
439
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:44,799
Wasn't that, like,
12,000 TikToks ago?
440
00:18:44,884 --> 00:18:46,510
You tell time in TikToks?
441
00:18:46,604 --> 00:18:48,776
Yeah, it's the sound
a clock makes.
442
00:18:48,884 --> 00:18:50,048
What do you want?
443
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,349
You and your fans
ruined my life.
444
00:18:52,443 --> 00:18:54,035
And it all
could have been avoided
445
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,469
if you just talked to me,
446
00:18:55,554 --> 00:18:57,662
instead of to the world
about me.
447
00:18:58,060 --> 00:19:01,377
Not every conflict needs
to be settled in public.
448
00:19:01,462 --> 00:19:03,846
Like Justin Timberlake
could have apologized
449
00:19:03,931 --> 00:19:05,267
to Britney in private
450
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:08,169
instead of notifying the world
what he was doing.
451
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,940
- (feedback)
- And shame on all of you
452
00:19:11,037 --> 00:19:13,473
for blindly following
everything she says.
453
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,799
When did celebrity effectively
become the new religion?
454
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,302
Temperamental pop stars
shouldn't be deciding
455
00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:21,788
what we think
and who we like or hate.
456
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,845
Instead of listening
to celebrities,
457
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:26,268
maybe we should take on
that same enthusiasm
458
00:19:26,353 --> 00:19:27,885
and listen to scientists.
459
00:19:28,175 --> 00:19:32,186
Maybe then the world could
finally be a better place.
460
00:19:32,849 --> 00:19:34,493
Boo! MEBR rules!
461
00:19:34,578 --> 00:19:35,995
Pretzel the baby!
462
00:19:36,079 --> 00:19:37,412
I'm one of her adult fans.
463
00:19:37,563 --> 00:19:38,647
(crowd booing, clamoring)
464
00:19:38,986 --> 00:19:40,333
Nice speech, Stewie.
465
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:41,667
A lot of good it did.
466
00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:43,901
Look at them, they don't care.
They're lost.
467
00:19:43,986 --> 00:19:45,408
Well, you know,
people are desperate
468
00:19:45,493 --> 00:19:46,634
for connection, Stewie.
469
00:19:46,798 --> 00:19:48,979
Sometimes the only place
they can find it is online
470
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,510
in parasocial relationships
with a celebrity.
471
00:19:51,595 --> 00:19:54,078
I just wish mine
didn't cost me Rupert.
472
00:19:54,213 --> 00:19:55,430
About that.
473
00:19:55,581 --> 00:19:57,932
I have someone
I want you to meet.
474
00:19:59,149 --> 00:20:00,149
Rupert!
475
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:01,762
I stitched him back together.
476
00:20:01,846 --> 00:20:04,111
He's pretty much himself
except for one small thing.
477
00:20:04,408 --> 00:20:06,927
He lost his short-term memory
and has no recollection
478
00:20:07,012 --> 00:20:09,162
of the difficulties
of the summer.
479
00:20:12,098 --> 00:20:13,781
Thanks, Brian.
480
00:20:13,866 --> 00:20:15,141
And if I'm honest,
481
00:20:15,264 --> 00:20:17,807
I was to blame
for said difficulties.
482
00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:19,954
Oh, buddy, I never cared.
483
00:20:20,106 --> 00:20:22,790
Now let's get you out of here
before someone recognizes you.
484
00:20:24,702 --> 00:20:27,837
Next time let's just bring
a hat and glasses.
485
00:20:33,894 --> 00:20:36,135
I'm glad we worked
everything out, Dad.
486
00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:38,583
What do you say we try
to have that catch again?
487
00:20:38,668 --> 00:20:40,823
I would love to, Chris.
488
00:20:41,353 --> 00:20:44,587
(panting)
489
00:20:45,158 --> 00:20:47,548
Better call
in Boston Dynamics Dad again.
490
00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:49,310
He's upstairs with Mom.
491
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,979
He's upstairs with her a lot.
492
00:20:53,009 --> 00:20:54,648
I guess that's the future.
493
00:20:54,732 --> 00:20:56,353
(laughs)
494
00:20:56,908 --> 00:20:58,318
Can you stop laughing?
495
00:20:58,403 --> 00:21:01,037
A robot is railing my mom.
495
00:21:02,305 --> 00:22:02,488
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