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1
00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,234
Set portside jettison. Hit that baby!
2
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,237
We just jettisoned
from the portside airlocks.
3
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,239
We're gonna be home in six months, baby!
4
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,657
No, the whole point
5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,575
is to jettison from the back of the ship
6
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,411
because that's what pushes you forwards.
7
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,955
You have knocked us off course.
8
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,915
Our new trajectory, eight years.
9
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,294
Don't touch my stuff!
10
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:42,268
...stand on deck four.
Please report to reception.
11
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,019
Welcome.
12
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:46,664
Yeah, I have seen
the actual security footage.
13
00:00:46,689 --> 00:00:47,857
- Of you?
- Yes. Yes.
14
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,524
Climbing into a dumpster like a raccoon?
15
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:52,527
Like... like
an inebriated, sexy raccoon.
16
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:55,597
Ooh, my kind of raccoon.
17
00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,866
The chicken's good.
18
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,200
- It's not bad, is it?
- Yeah.
19
00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:01,120
When you think that it's just
reconstituted eel protein,
20
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,764
it's actually...
it's actually all right.
21
00:01:02,789 --> 00:01:04,098
But are the portions getting smaller?
22
00:01:04,123 --> 00:01:06,709
No, I think you're just eating
it from farther away,
23
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,585
so it looks...
24
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,338
But we've got enough
for, like, the next four weeks?
25
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,714
- Definitely.
- Yeah.
26
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,716
We've got beef and chicken
coming out of our ears.
27
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,031
Coming out of our eels, in fact.
28
00:01:16,056 --> 00:01:17,970
Oh, I love it when you talk eels to me.
29
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,346
- Because I am captain...
- Yeah?
30
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:22,140
...anything I say
is automatically seductive.
31
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,308
- Hmm.
- Pass the salt.
32
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,435
Oh, yeah, condiment man.
33
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,019
Afraid grandma's not gonna make it.
34
00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:28,438
Oh, poor grandma.
35
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,298
Honey, I'm filing for divorce.
36
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,112
Oh. I'm sorry. That was...
37
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,239
Captain Blunder Gob strikes again.
38
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,908
No, no, it's okay. Ignore my face.
39
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,435
Charles is history. He jumped
ship a long time ago, so...
40
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,412
I'm sorry, I'm just so...
41
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,915
I'm so not match fit
at this kind of thing.
42
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,333
No, you really are.
43
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,543
I made these waffles this morning.
44
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,713
- And look at that.
- He's so funny.
45
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,590
- You got your batter.
- There he goes.
46
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,675
We got our ice cube tray for the mold.
47
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,719
Doing recipes out of bits of his cabin.
48
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,221
And pour the mixture
onto our preheated iron.
49
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,766
- The kids love his show.
- So do I.
50
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,434
- Do you?
- I absolutely love it.
51
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,686
It sounds crazy, but crazy happens
52
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:08,979
when you crank up the Frank.
53
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,899
And the kids, I'd love
to get to know them better.
54
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,107
Give them a tour of the ship.
55
00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:15,235
Oh, my God, the kids would love that.
56
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,596
So maybe this could be
more than four weeks?
57
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:21,617
I think it could be a lot more
than four weeks.
58
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,327
Yeah.
59
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,329
- I think I should get this.
- Mm-hmm.
60
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,414
Hey, Ryan, uh,
this is just your daily reminder
61
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,291
to tell the passengers
that they're gonna be stuck
62
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,044
on this elegant space finger
for nearly a decade.
63
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,187
It's Matt.
64
00:02:33,814 --> 00:02:36,715
You know, I'm going to put this
on do-not-disturb.
65
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,336
Well, they seem to be taking it well.
66
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,178
- What?
- Did he tell you?
67
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,488
Uh, no... no, I was just...
68
00:02:44,182 --> 00:02:45,516
- Would you excuse me a moment?
- Sure.
69
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,560
♪ It's time For a royal announcement ♪
70
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:50,062
- No, no, no.
- Oh, my God, what is it?
71
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,897
- Duty calls. Duty howls, in fact.
- Thank you.
72
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,078
You have to tell the truth, Ryan.
73
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,610
Should I use a more aggressive tack?
74
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,987
Because I find that British people
75
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,155
often respond better to abuse
than encouragement.
76
00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,490
Now, look, Matt,
77
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,535
you telling me that my breath
smells like a cat's back passage
78
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,561
is not gonna make me tell them
any quicker.
79
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,093
Okay, just humor me.
80
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,957
Craptain Ryan, Craptain Lying.
81
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,584
Oh, is this... You've started, have you?
82
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,668
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
83
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,337
Yeah, you depressed,
anorexic Santa Claus.
84
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,005
- That's what you are.
- Mm-hmm.
85
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,924
How do you shave that face of lies?
86
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,301
- I use an electric.
- Yeah?
87
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,136
Well, you're a pissy little mummy's boy.
88
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,360
- Mummy's boy!
- My mother's dead.
89
00:03:24,385 --> 00:03:27,933
Yes, because she hated you,
so she exploded.
90
00:03:28,227 --> 00:03:29,310
- Hmm.
- Is this getting us anywhere?
91
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,519
- It's not, no, no.
- Okay.
92
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,355
I'll tell you why.
Because if I tell the passengers
93
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,441
that we are stuck up here
for another eight years
94
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,692
and the food is running out,
95
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,193
I'm gonna become the next
all-you-can-eat buffet.
96
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,364
I will tell them when I've seen
the food shortage plan
97
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,616
that Rav is working on.
98
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,035
Ping! Sounds like Rav's
food shortage plan is ready.
99
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,288
Yes, that is exactly
what me being here signifies
100
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,706
and presumably what that
pinging sound was about.
101
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,751
Oh, here's someone who knows
what a long time looks like.
102
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,086
Spike Martin, come join us please.
103
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,423
Yes, I certainly will.
Totally impromptu.
104
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,216
This is feeling to me
like an intervention.
105
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,209
Ryan, it's time to retract
your head from your ass.
106
00:04:05,234 --> 00:04:08,528
- Don't be afraid of the truth.
- I'm not afraid of the truth.
107
00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:11,226
I'm just afraid of it leaving my lips.
108
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,703
Jell-O in a shower cap mold.
109
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,483
Check out Frank's Kitchen
every day at 3:00.
110
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,259
It's home cooking, without the home.
111
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,428
Love that jiggle.
112
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:24,949
Food's taken a dive.
113
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,077
I had a one-season
four seasons pizza yesterday.
114
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,203
- Winter.
- Ah, the worst.
115
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,871
I like the food being
all the same color.
116
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,689
It's less confusing for my mouth.
117
00:04:33,246 --> 00:04:34,667
- God, I miss real tomatoes.
- Tell me about it.
118
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,210
- I know, right?
- Tell me about it.
119
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,879
I am so desperate for...
120
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,291
...relatable vegetables myself.
121
00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:42,508
I don't know how
you're still eating that.
122
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,009
- You have to stop.
- Well, the good news is,
123
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,220
is we only have to deal
with four more weeks of that.
124
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,138
I mean, Captain Ryan
would've told us if the trip
125
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,473
- is gonna be any longer.
- Yeah.
126
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,267
Unless he has a good reason
not to, which he doesn't.
127
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,104
Not that I'd know. Why are you asking?
128
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,106
- Isn't this your ship?
- What?
129
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,674
- Isn't this your ship?
- Ship...
130
00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:01,676
Yeah, name only.
131
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,612
You know, you could just as easily blame
132
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,073
Martin Luther King for king-sized beds.
133
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,741
- Blame him for kings.
- Or kings.
134
00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,868
- Or sizes.
- Can I grab you?
135
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,286
Rav is ready with the food report
136
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,538
in the boardroom.
137
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,581
That sounds more like
a Ryan kind of thing.
138
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,190
I don't even know where the,
uh, boardroom is.
139
00:05:17,215 --> 00:05:19,253
That's true,
I was in the boardroom once,
140
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,404
and Mr. Judd came in, and he said,
141
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,614
"Oh, what is this room?"
142
00:05:25,815 --> 00:05:28,171
Um, I'm not good at whatever this...
143
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,639
Your face... What... What are you doing?
144
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,851
Nothing. Like my role on this ship.
145
00:05:34,046 --> 00:05:38,146
Well, I hear that it's good news
and that you will like it.
146
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,815
- I should take that.
- Later.
147
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,066
See you later.
148
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,359
What's the good news?
149
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,028
It's not good news,
and the boardroom is this way.
150
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,488
Don't patronize me, I know
where the fucking boardroom is.
151
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,496
Oh, my God.
152
00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,417
Tomorrow, I'm cooking steak
in a trouser press.
153
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:53,783
Remember, folks,
anything can be a garnish
154
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,451
if you're brave enough.
155
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:59,001
Honey, I'm done filming my show!
156
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,585
It's not a show, Frank.
157
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:04,297
It's you on a video feed
making popcorn with a hairdryer.
158
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,301
God, I've been here for months.
159
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:09,578
When can I leave this cabin?
160
00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,764
You know what? I'm done.
161
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,682
I'm done. It's time to get out of here.
162
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,267
- What? No!
- Let me go and talk to them.
163
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,477
- Honey, you can't!
- I can just...
164
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,644
I can beg forgiveness.
165
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:20,022
I can be very, very humble
when I need to be.
166
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,524
Do you remember when I ran over
your sister's foot?
167
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,886
Karen, you knocked us off course
for eight years. They hate you.
168
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,864
- They hate me?
- I...
169
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,367
Hate is such a strong word. Uh...
170
00:06:32,562 --> 00:06:35,482
Which is why it's so appropriate
for how they feel about you.
171
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:36,947
Okay?
172
00:06:37,424 --> 00:06:40,375
I have to go bowling
with the guys. I'm going to see
173
00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:42,711
if they're still drawing
your face on the pins.
174
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,803
Hey, I saw you making
them waffles. They looked good.
175
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,137
- Didn't they?
- Yeah.
176
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,305
I'm glad you watched.
177
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,956
We got to get you watching, man.
Come on.
178
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,396
Hey, new faces and some old ones
I haven't seen in so long,
179
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,648
they seem like new ones.
180
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,274
Just stop it, will you?
We're not buying it.
181
00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,303
Buying what?
182
00:07:05,328 --> 00:07:06,902
The whole "I don't know
what's going on" thing.
183
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,696
Is there something going on,
Ryan, that I don't know about?
184
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,116
Judd, shut your bit. Rav, let's hear it.
185
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,492
I've put some numbers into the model,
186
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,411
and the results are... Whoo!
187
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:20,457
Relax, nobody's gonna shoot you.
You're just the messenger.
188
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,376
Oh, I'm sorry, I just get
quite nervous when I'm...
189
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,793
...nervous.
190
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,170
That's an eclectic outfit.
191
00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,256
Are you trying to, uh,
flummox predators?
192
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,674
All right, well, I arrived on the ship
193
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:29,842
with a limited wardrobe,
194
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,052
so I had to borrow a few items
from the deceased.
195
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,720
And technically,
it's not even really borrowing
196
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,681
'cause it's unlikely
they'll want it back. They're...
197
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,599
- Rav, the plan.
- Sorry, yes, okay.
198
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,393
Obviously, we're all aware
199
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,378
of the food
and resources shortage issue.
200
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,608
No.
201
00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:46,150
I'm sorry. I really am dropping it now.
202
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,609
And so...
203
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,903
The passengers will be split
into two groups.
204
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,470
The first group...
205
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,724
the Guaranteed...
206
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,143
will be fed.
207
00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:01,814
The second group will be given
a chance to...
208
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,192
manifest their own...
209
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,444
destiny...
210
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,864
sealed below deck.
211
00:08:11,682 --> 00:08:12,682
What?
212
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,095
That's it? That's your plan?
213
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,764
That we turn half the passengers
into a screaming,
214
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,641
underfloor heating system?
215
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,727
Oh, this is going to put a stain
on my record.
216
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,230
We would obviously provide
them with some initial supplies,
217
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,400
seeds, sourdough cultures,
a urine filtration system.
218
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,575
And then to benefit the mental health
219
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:36,690
of the Guaranteed, we would
cease all communication with...
220
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,829
- the Pioneers.
- "Pioneers"?
221
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,290
What... Pioneers of what?
Pop-up cemeteries?
222
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,125
Okay, if you could just take
some of that rage
223
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:47,043
and direct it towards the model.
224
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,336
Did you know about this?
225
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,673
I knew that we would have to
make some difficult decisions.
226
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,509
I just didn't know
it'd be explained with stickers.
227
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,010
Why would people do this?
228
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,138
Uh, you said there'd be
no judgement here.
229
00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,849
That was before you suggested
industrial slaughter.
230
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,310
I have a question. What the fuck?
231
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,729
Look, I don't like this,
but something's got to give.
232
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,398
- It's either die or die.
- I vote against Rav's plan.
233
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:11,985
Okay, but yeah, let's not call
Rav's plan "Rav's Plan."
234
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,238
- Okay, stop saying "Rav's plan."
- What would you prefer?
235
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,360
"Rav Mulcair's Festival of Murder"?
236
00:09:17,343 --> 00:09:20,827
Look, is it not better
that half of us die quickly
237
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,829
than that all of us starve slowly,
238
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:25,206
- just to play devil's advocate?
- And that's okay, is it?
239
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,000
Advocating for the devil.
I'm not sure if you're aware,
240
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,730
Matt, but the devil's generally
agreed to be a bad egg.
241
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,253
Well, thanks, Rav.
242
00:09:31,648 --> 00:09:33,340
Turns out it's not so easy, is it?
243
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,390
Raining blood on people's dreams?
244
00:09:35,415 --> 00:09:36,551
You're gonna have to tell them
245
00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,051
we're not going home in a month, Ryan.
246
00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:41,139
Yes, that is something I do know.
247
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,725
Not going to do it.
You can't make me tell them.
248
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,727
I'm going to go and gargle
some bleach now,
249
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,562
so my voice box packs in.
250
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,398
No, that will actually kill you.
251
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,563
Added bonus.
252
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:58,740
If these are the Heavens,
Mr. Judd, are we then gods?
253
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:02,411
Or stardust returning home?
254
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,915
After a freak accident,
Avenue 5 is stuck in space,
255
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,876
but a new streaming drama
imagining life on the ship
256
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,296
is fuckin' hella trending.
257
00:10:12,764 --> 00:10:17,050
Iris, turn around. Talk to me.
Let me see your lying face!
258
00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,136
Is that what you wanted?
259
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,097
Who are you?
260
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:25,058
Now, we're gonna meet
a real-life survivor
261
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:29,688
and all-around girly boss
bad bitch, Iris Kimura.
262
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:30,814
Whoo!
263
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,398
- Hi, Dawn.
- Come on, some love!
264
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,568
Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
265
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,253
Your cough is the best.
266
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,531
The government has abandoned us,
and we need your...
267
00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,991
- Iris, spill the tea.
- Yeah.
268
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:45,122
Is the real Avenue 5 anything
like this new streaming drama?
269
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,581
Well, the real captain has a beard.
270
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,084
And, uh, I'm here.
271
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,128
- Yeah.
- You know, not in space, uh...
272
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,546
I don't get it.
273
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,049
But... but more importantly,
the government has abandoned us,
274
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,092
- and we need...
- Don't fuck off while she's talking.
275
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,385
Stick around. In thirty minutes,
276
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,763
I will be unpacking a suitcase
I found on my driveway.
277
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,139
I love suitcases.
278
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,415
Back to Iris.
279
00:11:05,622 --> 00:11:08,351
Uh, yes, the... the government
has abandoned us,
280
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,686
so we need to fund a...
281
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,298
Fuck the government.
282
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,941
Yes, John-The-Bap-Fist, uh,
I'm here to raise awareness,
283
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:17,504
- by which I mean money. And...
- Show us your feet.
284
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,821
Really? Are they gonna
keep interrupting every time...
285
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,573
Why are the comms down, Iris?
286
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,450
- I... I don't know.
- Spit it, sister.
287
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,785
Well, because the comms are down,
288
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,495
- I don't... It's hard to...
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
289
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,080
Why doesn't her face move?
290
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,498
I can move my face.
291
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,665
- Show 'em, Iris.
- No.
292
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:31,691
Do it.
293
00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:33,606
Will she take
the cheese cracker challenge then?
294
00:11:33,631 --> 00:11:34,952
- Yes.
- No. No.
295
00:11:34,977 --> 00:11:36,696
How are the passengers
coping with the news
296
00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:38,256
they're stuck for eight years?
297
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,159
Did they freak the fuck out?
298
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,441
They took it with dignity, StinkyRick.
299
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,247
I mean, I imagine. I wasn't there.
300
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,558
And also, the comms are down.
301
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,560
Right, but they know
they're stuck for eight years.
302
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:51,895
They... they have been told.
303
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,359
Should we do the, uh, just do
the cracker challenge now,
304
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,361
- get it over with?
- She wants those crackers.
305
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,117
Question one.
If you could go back in time
306
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,576
and murder one historical figure,
307
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,643
who would it be?
308
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,122
Jay Leno.
309
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,208
I mean, you can only work
with the options you're given.
310
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,127
Mass death or selective death.
311
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,920
There's no vegan option. I'm sorry.
312
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:18,588
But I do think we owe it
to the passengers
313
00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,257
to prepare them for the possibility
314
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,967
- that it's gonna be eight years.
- No.
315
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,845
- Let's utterly not do that.
- Yeah, I'm going to.
316
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,514
What the shaved dickens are you doing?
317
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,683
- Sir, hey.
- No!
318
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,601
We are doing a little survey
of the passengers...
319
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:32,977
- Hi.
- ...about what they are
320
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,854
least looking forward to back on Earth.
321
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,231
There's nothing
I'm not looking forward to.
322
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,067
I hate it up here.
Breathing recycled farts.
323
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,069
Well, that was a lovely chat. Let's go.
324
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,387
No, no, no. Come on, come on.
325
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,906
Maybe there's a coworker
you work with, right?
326
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,908
Where you think, "Ugh,
if I didn't see that prick again
327
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,119
for eight years, that would be perfect."
328
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,319
What? Eight years?
That's a crazy number.
329
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,667
Sorry, what is this?
330
00:12:52,692 --> 00:12:56,917
This? This is just a short,
one-question hypothetical.
331
00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,836
That was great feedback.
332
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,088
Oh, you want some feedback?
333
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,923
The kettle in my cabin
stopped whistling.
334
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,334
It just splutters like
a sea otter being choked out.
335
00:13:05,359 --> 00:13:06,887
Um, so there's a suggestion box
336
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,555
- on, um, deck five.
- 'Course there is.
337
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,790
- Off you go.
- Thanks.
338
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,893
The dumpling mold
is the pocket of your pants.
339
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:14,961
Just make sure
you're not wearing the pants.
340
00:13:14,986 --> 00:13:17,272
Hey, Rav, what if we used Frank
341
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,691
to tell the passengers
about the eight years?
342
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:22,360
Frank, the guy who made
a haggis in a condom?
343
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:23,487
Yeah, it was delicious.
344
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,364
His show has reach, right?
We could use him
345
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,810
to help the passengers acclimate
to the coming blunder-fuck.
346
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,479
- Sorry about earlier.
- Which earlier?
347
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,648
Yeah, good point.
All of them, I suppose.
348
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,518
Everything all right with the eels?
349
00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:40,587
Apart from the fact that we get
all our food from them.
350
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,339
Yeah, they're still
not reproducing at the rate
351
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,423
that we need them to,
352
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:45,808
so we may have to
stimulate reproduction.
353
00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:49,053
Manually? Like...
like they do with horses?
354
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,847
Yeah, not totally out of the question.
355
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,390
No, I would say that it is,
356
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,935
but that's because I'd always
imagined my fate hinging
357
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,145
on something nobler than wanking an eel.
358
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,169
But there you go.
359
00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,962
Life is pain.
360
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,734
I've got to go and tell the passengers.
361
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,027
- You're what?
- Yep.
362
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,904
I'm going to tell them
that we're not going to get home
363
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,822
- for eight years.
- Really?
364
00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:10,016
You're gonna do it? You...
You... You're gonna tell them?
365
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,327
I am resisting with every fiber
of my being,
366
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,163
which is how I know
it's the right thing to do.
367
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,333
Wow, that could be a mob.
368
00:14:18,682 --> 00:14:20,335
Sweetie, you should go hide
in the bathroom.
369
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,547
Nice. Put the troll back in the cave.
370
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,631
- Hi.
- Hey.
371
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,966
Bit of an urgent situation.
372
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,426
We were wondering if you would
do some public outreach work
373
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,970
for us on your show.
374
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,013
Consider it done, of course.
Yeah, happy to.
375
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,181
- Well, thank you.
- Yeah, um...
376
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,558
Hold on, why would you wanna use Frank?
377
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,894
- Oh, God.
- I mean, his audience must be tiny,
378
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,063
and I'm guessing most of them
watch it on mute, so...
379
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,439
All right, sweetie, why don't you
380
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,399
maybe go take a nap or write
in your penance journal.
381
00:14:44,424 --> 00:14:45,443
Okay?
382
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,654
Okay, the... the passengers love Frank,
383
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,781
so we can use that to tell the people
384
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,075
that it's gonna be eight years
till we're back to Earth.
385
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,786
Everyone knows
we're eight years from Earth.
386
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,663
I mean, why would you pick at that scab?
387
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,647
Exactly, that's why we need
Frank to soften...
388
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:00,750
- Wait, sorry.
- I'm sorry?
389
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:03,003
- You think the passengers know?
- Of course they know.
390
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,046
That's why Frank's bricked me up
in here,
391
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,841
- 'cause everybody blames me.
- Oh, my God.
392
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,968
- Hmm.
- You kept her in here?
393
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,845
Uh, kept... kept is...
That's a strong word.
394
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,388
It's... it's like a shrouding.
395
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,413
Wait a minute.
396
00:15:15,438 --> 00:15:18,393
The passengers don't know?
Ryan hasn't told them yet?
397
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,187
No, they think we're four weeks
from Earth because of you.
398
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,523
Karen, you could be out there
living like a GI
399
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:26,484
who liberated Paris right now
with garlands of flowers
400
00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,801
and multiple STDs.
401
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,881
You told me
402
00:15:30,417 --> 00:15:33,867
that I couldn't leave the cabin
because the passengers wanted
403
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,786
to use my sphincter as a hockey puck.
404
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,747
- Ooh.
- I was protecting her.
405
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,914
It's like, you know,
406
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,916
sometimes the best way
of protecting someone
407
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,128
- is by subjugating them.
- Oh, Frank.
408
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,048
Okay, but, Frank, the vow
is "to have and to hold," right?
409
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,634
- Not "hold hostage."
- It's always the quiet ones.
410
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,469
I just had the chance to be me.
411
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,846
- What?
- I know now that that was wrong.
412
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:57,390
I have to tell these guys the truth.
413
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,142
- Everybody needs to know.
- No! No, no, no.
414
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,560
No, look, I don't deal well with chaos!
415
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,520
Um, please, can somebody get me
a weighted blanket
416
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,605
and a red inhaler?
417
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,774
You're gonna be inhaling my red fist...
418
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:09,361
...if somebody
doesn't bring me Captain Ryan
419
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,381
- right here, right now!
- Help.
420
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,575
Wow, I am so proud of you.
421
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,116
Well, that's a first.
422
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,197
Yeah, it's like watching
my child learn how to walk.
423
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,788
But how you gonna tell 'em?
424
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,498
Uh, I was thinking very badly.
425
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,626
No, no, no. Come on.
You're gonna be great.
426
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,252
You want to rehearse
the whole thing with me?
427
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:29,881
No thanks. You don't rehearse
expelling kidney stones.
428
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,581
No, I just, uh, I've got to go
in there and just do it.
429
00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:34,895
Yes. You just got to do it.
You just got to take the leap,
430
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,554
- and you got to just do it!
- I'm going to do it!
431
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,390
You tell the truth,
and you make me proud!
432
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,974
- I'm gonna make myself proud.
- Yes.
433
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,976
I'm gonna confront all my weaknesses.
434
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,145
All previous wrongs will be corrected.
435
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,496
Karen has entered the game.
436
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,840
After I've dealt with this.
437
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:57,307
- What is it, Iris?
- Is this love? What we have?
438
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,496
If love is mostly darkness, yes.
439
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,250
Oh.
440
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,293
Uh, we saw the interview.
441
00:17:07,553 --> 00:17:08,570
Fun, right?
442
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,298
You don't think the lighting
made me look severe?
443
00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:12,674
- Uh...
- Yeah, just put it down there.
444
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,758
Can I help you?
445
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,200
Uh, no, I'm good.
446
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,390
Oh, God, that is... that is well gone.
447
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,350
Get me a ginger snap and an update.
448
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,978
Okay, take the science project
and go home.
449
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,606
I say home. I assume wherever
you sleep has a license plate.
450
00:17:28,803 --> 00:17:32,015
Okay, first up, I'm here to fix
the delay with the ship's comms.
451
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:33,987
I like the delay.
452
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,823
This is an algorithm generator.
It analyses your chat profile
453
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,575
to accurately predict
what you're going to say,
454
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,701
and then says it.
455
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,369
All you need is a big enough
user data set.
456
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,704
So, if you'd pass me your tablet?
457
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,748
- Under no circumstances.
- Okay, give me your tablet.
458
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,128
Absolutely. There you are.
459
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,376
What are you...
460
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,235
See, it now knows enough about Alan
461
00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:53,129
to predict how he'll respond
in any situation.
462
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:55,550
Try it. Have a chat.
463
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,843
I don't chat with Alan.
464
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,786
Oh, go on. Cross something off
your bucket list.
465
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:03,725
Hi.
466
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:05,960
That's it? Hi?
467
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,503
How are you?
468
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,552
Uh, nervous.
469
00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:11,778
Anything else to say for yourself?
470
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,926
Yes. Can I go now?
471
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,985
That was uncanny.
472
00:18:18,010 --> 00:18:19,680
Except I would have started
with "Can I go now?"
473
00:18:19,705 --> 00:18:20,932
Right.
474
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,773
What is that, your victim's ears?
475
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,296
Ah, there it is.
476
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,040
You're from the Office
of the Other President?
477
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:30,120
TOTOPOTUS, yeah.
You'd think I'd buy a nicer tie.
478
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,253
I'm just, uh,
accessing the ship's comms.
479
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,047
- Uh, uh, no...
- Um...
480
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,550
Yep. As I thought.
481
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,803
Someone, I'm guessing you
and Judd, turned off comms.
482
00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,221
You're not authorized to think that.
483
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,306
So those passengers,
they don't know they're marooned
484
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,519
in space for eight years.
Well, this is a ball ache.
485
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,939
I think you need to go, now, to hell.
486
00:18:51,050 --> 00:18:52,190
On behalf of TOTOPOTUS,
487
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,841
I'm commandeering your operation.
488
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,236
The room is ours.
489
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,280
Uh...
490
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,448
- Up, up, up.
- No, no.
491
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,840
Yeah, just, uh, harvest it. Take it all.
492
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,746
Hey! Those are our wires!
You don't deserve them!
493
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,076
Oh, no, they're mine now.
494
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,208
And I'm reopening comms with Avenue 5.
495
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,901
So you've got 30 minutes until showtime.
496
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,756
And this is the bridge, I think.
497
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,425
I don't actually know.
I've never been here before.
498
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,469
Oh. What's the maximum speed
of this craft?
499
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,096
Good question. What a good question.
500
00:19:23,450 --> 00:19:25,473
And one I wish I could answer,
but I feel like it would be
501
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,725
culturally insensitive to our captain,
502
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:31,688
Captain Ryan, who is in charge
of this ship and this voyage
503
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,815
and any changes
that happen to the voyage
504
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,318
that cannot be known by us,
or specifically by me.
505
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,153
- Okay? You getting all that?
- I think so.
506
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,697
What is that? What do...
507
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,115
How do I get rid of this?
508
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,950
- Iris?
- It's me.
509
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,994
Got some new tech to fix the delay.
510
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,246
Predicts your speech by
collating everything you ever said,
511
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,706
then predicts what you're gonna say.
512
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,710
Cool. Um, how much money
do I have left? Please say lots.
513
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,253
You have enough to eat. Be happy.
514
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,462
Welcome back, Iris.
515
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,172
Restoring smart-seat
to your default settings.
516
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,216
Are you calling me from the toilet?
517
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,926
When I do that, I'm a goddamn animal.
518
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:05,135
The Office of the Other POTUS
know we've been blocking the comms.
519
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,135
What?
520
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,305
They're switching them back on.
521
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,434
And I'm calling you from, not during.
522
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,269
Your pH levels are normal.
523
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,353
Oh, that's ironic,
524
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,897
since you're kind of acidic as a person.
525
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,356
Wait. You've been blocking the comms?
526
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,608
Ryan needs to tell everyone
527
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,318
they're stuck up there for eight years.
528
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,485
We're not almost home?
529
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,529
Oh, shit, she's not supposed
to know that.
530
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,948
Oh, that's not me confirming
the information, by the way.
531
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,283
But they need to be told
in a sensitive way.
532
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,535
That's great. You mean like this?
533
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:29,871
Hey, Cap! When we're home,
534
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,332
I'm getting a tattoo of you on my glute.
535
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,167
That is so humbling.
536
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,795
Hey. Whoa, Captain, where's the fire?
537
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,672
Uh... Oh, Spike, can you give these guys
538
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,740
a VIP tour of the bridge?
Would that be okay?
539
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,928
For sure. Come on. Let's go eat space!
540
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,368
Are you delegating
spending time with us?
541
00:20:47,910 --> 00:20:49,307
- No.
- Yeah.
542
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,210
Spike is the best...
543
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,418
that we have.
544
00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:56,895
She said eight years.
545
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,400
No, I think you misheard.
I believe she said eight...
546
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,361
Eight ears. She had eight ears.
547
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,363
His English is not good English.
548
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,989
I heard what she said,
and that wasn't it.
549
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,325
She's a hologram. She's
not a real person, by definition.
550
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,994
- Okay, but I definitely heard her say...
- She's not a real person.
551
00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,788
You guys don't want to watch
an argument about reality.
552
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,957
- Let's check out something cooler.
- Is there gonna be a fight?
553
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,625
Well, if there is,
we do not have tickets.
554
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,378
Hey, kids, how about some
hot chocolate with sprinkles?
555
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,612
Hmm? Man, I wish we had some.
556
00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,054
Ryan, is it true?
557
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:28,557
That nobody knows we're here
for eight years?
558
00:21:29,385 --> 00:21:32,855
See, I... I thought I was doing
the passengers a service.
559
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,268
They've had five months
560
00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:35,895
in a state of blissful ignorance.
561
00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:37,685
How could you do that to me
562
00:21:37,710 --> 00:21:39,560
after all we've been through together?
563
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,609
We haven't been
through anything together.
564
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,676
Exactly.
565
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,307
You are a small, small man.
566
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,437
And I am going to grate you...
567
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:55,915
like a nutmeg.
568
00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,751
- Honey, what are you...
- No, no!
569
00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,461
- Um, do something.
- Nah, um...
570
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,713
No!
571
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,172
- No, no.
- Go on. You're a captain.
572
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,675
If you can marry people,
you can restrain them as well.
573
00:22:06,597 --> 00:22:08,805
That's... None of that.
No, Karen, Karen, Karen.
574
00:22:08,830 --> 00:22:10,165
Oh!
575
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,265
- Foot!
- Eff your foot.
576
00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,645
Dig deep, sister. This is your time.
577
00:22:14,670 --> 00:22:16,894
- Whose side are you on?
- The winner's.
578
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,750
Always the winner's.
579
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,858
Do we have any tranquilizers?
She needs tranq-ing!
580
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,985
Let this take place.
This needs to happen.
581
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,154
Karen, don't... don't...
582
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:34,370
He trapped me, Ryan,
like a hog in a pen.
583
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,360
Is she crying or orgasming?
584
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,422
Is she asleep?
585
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,757
Just stay focused because there may be
586
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,550
an anaconda squeeze coming.
587
00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:49,635
Okay, kids, uh, listen,
588
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:52,555
same rules as life drawing class.
589
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:53,848
You look, don't touch.
590
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,349
Well, I like what you've done
with the place,
591
00:22:55,373 --> 00:22:57,602
which seems to be to cover it in dirt.
592
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,729
Yeah, we're going
for a subtle layered look.
593
00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,230
Uh, guys? Spike?
594
00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:03,107
I didn't know we were running a daycare.
595
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,776
No, actually, the captain organized us
596
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,027
a little tour, so...
597
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,696
Oh, that's... They're playing
with all the buttons. Nope.
598
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,514
No, no, no. No.
599
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,704
She's locked it.
600
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,137
Oh, like when you locked
Daddy's car, remember?
601
00:23:18,161 --> 00:23:18,938
Right.
602
00:23:18,963 --> 00:23:20,958
And she's... What? She... she's...
603
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,960
- She switched our course.
- She's what?
604
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,295
She switched our course.
605
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,338
- Where to?
- She's...
606
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:26,506
Still Earth. Please say still Earth.
607
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,174
Is it "bad" bad?
608
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,095
No, Spike, it is much, much worse.
609
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,179
Okay, I think we're gonna go,
so let's say thank you.
610
00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:35,515
- Thanks.
- Thank you. Gracias.
611
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,141
Thanks, kids! See you in hell!
612
00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:38,935
This is exactly why
I don't want children!
613
00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,478
Can we use, uh, the old fuel-burn...
614
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:41,896
- Uh...
- ...get back in the old course?
615
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,524
Uh, well, we've got...
That's six fuel burns left.
616
00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:45,900
So, we use one to get back...
617
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,800
No, we'll be 400 years old
by the time we get home.
618
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,804
We're just gonna have to go
with the new course.
619
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,285
There he is. Ryan! Hey!
620
00:23:56,309 --> 00:24:00,039
Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!
621
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,083
- Four more weeks!
- Okay, okay.
622
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,127
- Four more weeks!
- All right, all right.
623
00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,711
All right, look. Ladies and gentlemen,
624
00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:08,417
I do have an announcement.
625
00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:12,718
Uh, it appears
that we may not be returning
626
00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:16,639
to Earth for a considerable
number of months.
627
00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:19,392
Oh! See? You see?
628
00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,435
How long have you known that,
you bag of shit?
629
00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:23,980
We're heading towards the Sun!
630
00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,940
We're headed towards the Sun.
631
00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,441
- What?
- That's the spirit!
632
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:29,277
Whoo! We're heading for the Sun!
633
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,444
Walking on sunshine, baby!
634
00:24:30,468 --> 00:24:32,572
No, no, no. It's not a... a euphemism.
635
00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:35,408
We are actually
heading towards the actual Sun.
636
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,825
Oh, fuck.
637
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:38,536
What do you mean, the...
You mean the Sun?
638
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,288
- Yes, the...
- The hot one? The one in the sky?
639
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,455
- That one?
- Yes, that one. Yes.
640
00:24:41,479 --> 00:24:42,623
We're heading for the Sun!
641
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,125
Look, can we just...
642
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,377
Can we just park
the Sun news momentarily?
643
00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:47,837
I realize that's a big ask, but...
644
00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:51,257
What else have you been keeping
from us, you preppy cocksucker?
645
00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,592
You drove us into the Sun!
646
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,552
- That was not me!
- How could you miss it?
647
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,470
Spike! 'Cause Spike was at the wheel.
648
00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:59,265
- I'm no snitch, but, uh...
- It was my sister's fault!
649
00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:00,516
Raf, cállate!
650
00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,059
Your kids are gonna kill us!
651
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:04,896
Get that stunted shit out of the ship!
652
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:07,815
Lock her up!
653
00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:12,111
I always knew I'd be killed by a child.
654
00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:14,906
Look, look, whatever...
whatever happens,
655
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:18,077
I promise you everything will be okay.
656
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,994
Warning.
657
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:24,415
Warning. Warning. Warning.
658
00:25:24,439 --> 00:25:27,627
Oh, shit. We should probably, um...
659
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:29,003
- Take a cold shower?
- No.
660
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,171
- No?
- No. Run.
661
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:33,001
Uh, there's a real
language barrier here.
662
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:35,468
I promise you, I... your safety,
663
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:38,429
the safety of your kids,
is my number one priority.
664
00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:40,274
Oh, you're our hero.
665
00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:42,350
- Who are you?
- I'm Charles.
666
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,476
I'm just her husband.
667
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,516
And I... I hope
I'm your top priority as well.
668
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,314
You... you said he jumped ship.
669
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:49,524
I mean, not literally.
670
00:25:49,790 --> 00:25:52,401
I... I'm sorry. I should've...
I should have told you.
671
00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,820
Wow. You are both so spineless.
672
00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:56,405
The sex must be amazing.
673
00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,531
Come on, kids.
674
00:25:57,555 --> 00:26:00,576
So, um, we are gonna have
a conversation. Yes?
675
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,745
- Huh?
- Yes.
676
00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:07,583
Well, I am glad that
you finally know about Charles
677
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:10,070
because... really, that was killing us.
678
00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,530
What do you mean "us"? What us?
679
00:26:17,263 --> 00:26:18,386
Why didn't you tell me?
680
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,514
Oh, please, pot-calling-kettle-fuck.
681
00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,682
You didn't tell the passengers
682
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:24,016
that we're up here for eight years.
683
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,851
I was doing it!
What did you think I was doing?
684
00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:27,186
Yeah, but you didn't quite manage it,
685
00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:28,896
- did you? We all have secrets.
- I was doing it
686
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,898
when you came running in
with this whole Sun thing.
687
00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:33,488
Hello, Avenue 5!
This is mission control.
688
00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,275
Comms are back up. Is everything okay?
689
00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:39,193
Yeah. Everything's fine.
690
00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,492
Just one small issue.
691
00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:45,225
Okay. Everyone here has
your best interests at heart.
692
00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:49,899
Mission control. Families.
The list is endless.
693
00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:52,977
All right. That's enough.
694
00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:58,811
Did he say "small issue"?
What small issue?
695
00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:00,917
Well, I guess it's space-related.
696
00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,556
Okay, you two, can we lose
Hansel and Gretel?
697
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,309
Tut, tut, tut.
698
00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:10,337
You can stay.
699
00:27:12,550 --> 00:27:14,355
A dangerous situation
700
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:16,110
is being taken under control.
701
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:20,031
Warning. Do not panic. Stay calm.
702
00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:23,767
A dangerous situation
is being taken under control.
703
00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,288
Warning. Warning.
704
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:30,815
Stay calm. A dangerous situation
is being...
705
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,040
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53804
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