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1
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- [Ricky] Warning.
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00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:02,309
The following program contains
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00:00:02,347 --> 00:00:04,417
really coarse language, weed,
4
00:00:04,452 --> 00:00:09,732
alcohol consumption, smoking,
and sexual infer-lences.
5
00:00:09,768 --> 00:00:11,078
This content may not be suitable
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00:00:11,114 --> 00:00:12,634
for viewers under 18.
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00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:14,317
To activate parental controls,
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00:00:14,359 --> 00:00:17,049
please press the big go
[beep] yourself button
9
00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:18,356
on your remote control!
10
00:00:19,674 --> 00:00:22,474
[cheerful music]
11
00:00:30,168 --> 00:00:32,268
- Can you say,
"Humming for stink?"
12
00:00:32,308 --> 00:00:33,098
- Humming
- He's humming.
13
00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:34,476
- Oh, he's humming.
14
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:35,377
He's got a hum to him.
15
00:00:35,414 --> 00:00:36,354
- You know what?
16
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:38,351
- I've heard that, but it
makes no sense.
17
00:00:38,383 --> 00:00:41,353
Is it so stinky that it
actually makes a little noise?
18
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:43,531
- I don't know what that means.
19
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,530
[Ricky humming]
20
00:00:46,563 --> 00:00:48,813
- Or is it like "Woo!"
21
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,471
- I don't think that's it.
22
00:00:51,499 --> 00:00:52,429
That's "Woo hoo!"
23
00:00:52,466 --> 00:00:53,666
It'd be a hum.
24
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,428
There's a hum coming off you.
25
00:00:55,469 --> 00:00:56,879
Yeah. It's like
that's the stink.
26
00:00:56,918 --> 00:00:59,158
- I know what a hummer is.
27
00:01:00,612 --> 00:01:02,132
- What's a hummer, Ricky?
28
00:01:03,684 --> 00:01:07,414
- You know a thing that
the ladies do to you.
29
00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:10,786
- Ladies do you a hummer?
30
00:01:10,829 --> 00:01:12,659
- Yeah man. Isn't that a hummer?
31
00:01:12,693 --> 00:01:13,663
- So what is the hummer?
32
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:14,804
I've never heard of the hummer.
33
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:15,703
What is that?
34
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:16,800
- Getting a hummer.
35
00:01:16,835 --> 00:01:18,455
- Getting a hummer
36
00:01:18,492 --> 00:01:19,702
- It's a BJ.
37
00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:20,744
- Yeah.
38
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,080
- Oh!
- It's a BJ!
39
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,526
- A BJ is called a hummer?
40
00:01:23,566 --> 00:01:24,836
- Yep.
41
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,497
- All right. So what's
happening, guys.
42
00:01:26,534 --> 00:01:27,054
[horn honking]
43
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,257
- Holy Fuck!
44
00:01:28,295 --> 00:01:29,465
- 'Cause I'm fucking not
in a good mood as it is
45
00:01:29,503 --> 00:01:31,403
and I got this hammer
'cause I wanna fucking
46
00:01:31,436 --> 00:01:32,776
smash some shit.
- Why are you in bad mood?
47
00:01:32,816 --> 00:01:34,746
- What is wrong with you?
48
00:01:34,784 --> 00:01:36,444
- Car troubles, guys.
49
00:01:36,475 --> 00:01:38,335
Jacob fucked my car
50
00:01:38,374 --> 00:01:39,584
and they're not even sure
if they can find
51
00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:41,336
the fucking parts to
fix it 'cause it's old.
52
00:01:41,377 --> 00:01:43,927
- Jacob fucked your car,
literally?
53
00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:46,305
- Probably, after
that story we saw
54
00:01:46,347 --> 00:01:48,137
about the minivan, he may have.
55
00:01:48,177 --> 00:01:50,727
But rear end, fucked.
56
00:01:51,973 --> 00:01:53,293
- And how did Jacob do it?
57
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,800
- I don't fucking knows!
He's dumb.
58
00:01:54,838 --> 00:01:56,048
He was probably jamming it.
59
00:01:56,081 --> 00:01:57,321
The gear shift doesn't
work fucking great
60
00:01:57,358 --> 00:01:59,118
and he probably was just
fucking it too much.
61
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,743
And it just said, "Fuck you,"
and blew up.
62
00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:04,085
- Or it's from years of you
living in the fucking thing
63
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,024
and not really
taking care of it.
64
00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:08,164
Maybe that's the problem.
65
00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:09,607
- What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
66
00:02:09,646 --> 00:02:10,956
- You've just, well,
67
00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:13,032
remember I gave you that
car years back?
68
00:02:13,063 --> 00:02:14,513
- Yes.
- It was in fucking
69
00:02:14,548 --> 00:02:15,788
beautiful condition, man.
70
00:02:15,825 --> 00:02:17,095
- It wasn't mint.
71
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,997
- It was about 98%.
72
00:02:19,035 --> 00:02:21,105
- It was pretty fucking nice,
Ricky.
73
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,801
- And you fucked it over.
74
00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:24,592
[hammer smashes]
75
00:02:24,627 --> 00:02:28,147
- Sorry, but I've got a lot of
fucking aggression right now.
76
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,432
I don't mean to smash shit
77
00:02:29,459 --> 00:02:31,049
but I brought a few things.
- What are you smashing?
78
00:02:31,081 --> 00:02:31,941
- Better to smash things
than to smash people.
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00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:33,289
[horn honks]
80
00:02:33,325 --> 00:02:35,565
- You gotta get this
away from me.
81
00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:37,953
- You guys aren't helping
me fucking feel better.
82
00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:39,465
- You gotta be more positive,
Ricky.
83
00:02:39,504 --> 00:02:42,234
You gotta come in with a
positive fucking vibe to you.
84
00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:43,885
You can't come in with a
fucking hammer.
85
00:02:43,922 --> 00:02:45,102
- Boy's I'm fucking...
86
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,890
Look, where am I gonna
get money to fix a car
87
00:02:46,925 --> 00:02:49,095
if it can even be fixed,
or get a new car?
88
00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:51,244
We're gonna have to do some
fucking jobs or something.
89
00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:52,594
- We'll do some jobs.
90
00:02:53,656 --> 00:02:54,726
- Right on. Bubs?
91
00:02:55,623 --> 00:02:57,353
- What kind of jobs?
92
00:02:57,384 --> 00:02:58,254
- Jobs.
93
00:02:59,386 --> 00:03:01,346
- It's not really a job, Ricky.
94
00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:02,388
- Okay.
95
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:04,153
Okay, do you wanna live
in the fucking thing,
96
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,084
or do you want it
driving around?
97
00:03:06,841 --> 00:03:08,221
- Well, if I can't fix my car,
98
00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:10,087
then I'll just keep it
as a cottage or whatever
99
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,020
and I'll have to get a new car.
100
00:03:11,052 --> 00:03:12,162
- Okay.
101
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,472
- You can't get a car for
less than what,
102
00:03:14,504 --> 00:03:15,784
700 bucks these days?
103
00:03:16,955 --> 00:03:18,335
- Well, you can, but
the thing is,
104
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,550
if you're just gonna get
a car for driving around,
105
00:03:20,579 --> 00:03:23,239
you don't need a big,
fucking crazy, long car
106
00:03:23,272 --> 00:03:25,242
that's like a gas guzzler.
107
00:03:25,274 --> 00:03:27,864
Maybe we'll get you
something smaller?
108
00:03:27,897 --> 00:03:29,107
- When you go car shopping,
109
00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:31,279
you're looking in
the $700 range?
110
00:03:32,281 --> 00:03:33,491
- You can usually get a
pretty decent car
111
00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:36,223
for seven, 800 bucks,
but that's a lotta money.
112
00:03:37,078 --> 00:03:39,358
but you know, new
cars are fucked.
113
00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:41,951
You're lucky if you can
get a cigarette lighter.
114
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:42,810
It's ridiculous.
115
00:03:42,843 --> 00:03:43,533
No ashtrays.
116
00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:44,328
What the fuck?
117
00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:45,672
- You know what you need?
118
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:50,608
You need a 1985 Volkswagen
Rabbit, four door, diesel.
119
00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:51,304
- A Rabbit?
120
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,414
- There's four door Rabbits?
121
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:54,750
- Yeah man.
122
00:03:54,786 --> 00:03:56,306
You can get those real cheap.
123
00:03:57,616 --> 00:04:00,236
- I don't buy anything that
has the name "Rabbit" in it.
124
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:03,144
- Then what about rabbit stew?
125
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:04,383
- I meant cars.
126
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,896
- You know what I think
you should get?
127
00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:13,318
You should get a fucking,
like an '82 LTD.
128
00:04:13,356 --> 00:04:15,426
- Yeah. They're pretty big.
129
00:04:15,462 --> 00:04:17,982
I spend a lot of time
in the cop cars,
130
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,046
the old LTDs.
131
00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,536
Nice fucking cop cars.
132
00:04:21,330 --> 00:04:23,090
- Yeah. That's why I picked it.
133
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:25,920
You're used to the back
seat of those things.
134
00:04:25,955 --> 00:04:27,745
- Those old Malibus,
135
00:04:27,784 --> 00:04:29,174
with the four barrels.
136
00:04:29,199 --> 00:04:30,959
- Yeah.
- Those are nice cars.
137
00:04:30,994 --> 00:04:32,964
- Your mother had a
four barrel, didn't she?
138
00:04:32,996 --> 00:04:35,896
[Bubbles laughs]
139
00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:36,690
- Yeah.
140
00:04:36,724 --> 00:04:37,734
- Well, I owed you one.
141
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:38,800
- You know what? That's okay,
man.
142
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:40,180
You can joke around.
143
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:42,450
- What was it on?
144
00:04:42,489 --> 00:04:42,939
- What?
145
00:04:42,972 --> 00:04:44,082
- What?
146
00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:46,011
- What did she have the
four barrel on?
147
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:48,979
- You know.
148
00:04:49,012 --> 00:04:49,812
- What do you mean "You know"?
149
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:50,811
You're pointing down.
150
00:04:50,842 --> 00:04:52,462
[Ricky laughs]
151
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:53,569
- Down there.
152
00:04:53,603 --> 00:04:55,233
- Just kind of mounted
right on the top?
153
00:04:55,260 --> 00:04:55,850
- Yep.
154
00:04:55,881 --> 00:04:56,851
[Ricky chuckles]
155
00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:57,922
- Mount it right on the front.
156
00:04:57,952 --> 00:04:59,642
- And why would it be
mounted there?
157
00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:01,018
What what's it for?
158
00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:03,679
- I don't know.
159
00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:05,367
She's got a four barrel.
160
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:08,073
So she can take four on at once.
161
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,410
[Bubbles laughs]
162
00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:10,717
- If you pound her hard enough,
163
00:05:10,758 --> 00:05:12,168
the other two barrels open up.
164
00:05:12,208 --> 00:05:14,758
[Ricky and Bubbles laughing]
165
00:05:14,797 --> 00:05:16,207
- The other two barrels open up.
166
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:17,656
- She's normally just
a two barrel.
167
00:05:17,696 --> 00:05:19,036
- Yeah.
- Fuck boys.
168
00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:20,837
- When she really wants to
bring the power
169
00:05:20,872 --> 00:05:22,082
[Ricky laughs]
170
00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:25,264
- The other two pop
open [growls]
171
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:29,093
- Well, hopefully, if she ever
comes back one of these days,
172
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,781
you guys can play with
the four barrel, okay?
173
00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:34,085
But she's never gonna come back.
174
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,506
- I don't wanna play with
your mother's four barrel.
175
00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:37,963
Believe me.
176
00:05:37,992 --> 00:05:39,172
- No, she'd probably
be some big,
177
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:42,620
muscle-bound, fucking
woods woman.
178
00:05:42,652 --> 00:05:43,692
- A woods woman?
179
00:05:43,722 --> 00:05:46,732
- I wonder how big your
mother's muscles are.
180
00:05:47,899 --> 00:05:49,759
She might be a fucking beast.
181
00:05:49,797 --> 00:05:50,347
- Yep.
182
00:05:51,489 --> 00:05:54,219
- She might look like
Andre the Giant in a dress.
183
00:05:55,976 --> 00:05:58,766
[cheerful music]
184
00:06:00,808 --> 00:06:03,778
[jail cell clank]
185
00:06:11,681 --> 00:06:13,101
[hand tapping]
186
00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:14,101
[Bubbles sighs]
187
00:06:14,132 --> 00:06:15,272
Un-fucking-believable.
188
00:06:15,305 --> 00:06:17,195
Get fucking down here
right away, Bubbles.
189
00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:19,378
Get down here. I'll be
waiting for you.
190
00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:22,418
[Bubbles sighs]
191
00:06:22,451 --> 00:06:24,351
[pieces. tapping]
192
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,764
No, fuck this. I'm leaving.
193
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:27,389
Putting this away.
194
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,600
- You know what?
195
00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:30,740
Take a long fucking suck
on this, Ronnie.
196
00:06:30,769 --> 00:06:31,489
How about that?
197
00:06:31,529 --> 00:06:32,669
Why don't you take that,
198
00:06:32,702 --> 00:06:34,952
put it in your fucking mouth,
and suck it?
199
00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:36,050
Fuck you.
200
00:06:36,085 --> 00:06:39,255
- Ricky, pick up the phone.
201
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:40,185
- What?
202
00:06:40,227 --> 00:06:42,397
- The fucking phone, pick it up.
203
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,963
- Hey buddy. Thanks for
coming down, man.
204
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,030
- Ricky, you said get down here
205
00:06:47,061 --> 00:06:48,171
as quick as I could and
you'd be waiting for me.
206
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,820
I've been here 45
fucking minutes.
207
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:51,828
- 45 Minutes?
208
00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:52,929
- What were you doing?
209
00:06:52,964 --> 00:06:54,454
- I got in a fight with
fucking Larry
210
00:06:54,483 --> 00:06:56,523
over goddamn the last bag
of dressed all over chips.
211
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:58,764
- Well, you fucking made
me wait forever.
212
00:06:58,797 --> 00:07:00,037
- Well, I'm sorry about that,
213
00:07:00,074 --> 00:07:02,464
but you know how important
chips are in my life.
214
00:07:02,491 --> 00:07:03,731
- All right.
- so is this the same
215
00:07:03,768 --> 00:07:05,148
as Checkers or what?
216
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:08,153
- Does it look the
same as Checkers?
217
00:07:08,186 --> 00:07:09,596
- Pretty much, except
for the pieces.
218
00:07:09,636 --> 00:07:10,906
- Ricky.
219
00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:12,427
- The thing is, I have to
win this tournament, Bubs,
220
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,846
or I'm gonna fucking
run into more situations
221
00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:15,881
where I don't have money to
buy the last bag of chips.
222
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:17,228
It's $100 prize.
223
00:07:17,264 --> 00:07:18,854
Nobody will fucking
bet on Checkers.
224
00:07:18,886 --> 00:07:20,466
- Okay.
- They'll bet on chest
225
00:07:20,509 --> 00:07:22,229
and they'll bet on
fucking poker,
226
00:07:22,269 --> 00:07:23,099
but not on fucking checkers.
227
00:07:23,132 --> 00:07:24,242
It's bullshit
228
00:07:24,271 --> 00:07:26,071
- Okay. Well, open your
fucking board up.
229
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,620
I don't have much time now.
230
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,694
- That I can do.
231
00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:31,494
- Open it up and set
your pieces up like this.
232
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,520
- Okay.
233
00:07:32,555 --> 00:07:34,725
[pieces rattle]
234
00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:36,874
- Ricky, you... [sighs]
235
00:07:36,904 --> 00:07:39,254
Does that board look
like this board?
236
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:42,007
- They're both squares.
237
00:07:43,117 --> 00:07:45,327
- But look at the...
238
00:07:45,361 --> 00:07:46,091
Flip it over!
- They told me
239
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,500
this was a chest game.
240
00:07:47,536 --> 00:07:50,056
- Flip the board over, so it
looks like the checker board.
241
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:52,300
- I thought you said it
wasn't like Checkers.
242
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,783
- Well, it's got the same board,
243
00:07:53,818 --> 00:07:55,098
but it's not the same game.
244
00:07:55,129 --> 00:07:56,199
[pieces clatter]
245
00:07:56,234 --> 00:07:58,034
Oh yeah. Here we go.
246
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:04,517
Ricky, just pick them off.
247
00:08:04,553 --> 00:08:06,213
[pieces clatter]
248
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:07,634
You're gonna need that.
249
00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:11,421
[pieces clatter]
250
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,936
Yeah, just like a fucking
Russian chess master.
251
00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:17,358
- All right.
- Okay.
252
00:08:17,393 --> 00:08:20,223
Do you even know what
the pieces are called?
253
00:08:20,258 --> 00:08:20,948
- No.
254
00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:22,023
- Well, they each have a name
255
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:24,853
and they each have a
specific movement.
256
00:08:24,883 --> 00:08:26,993
Look, these guys, see these?
257
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:28,023
- What are those called?
258
00:08:28,059 --> 00:08:30,129
- These are called pawns.
259
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:32,794
There should be eight of them
260
00:08:32,822 --> 00:08:34,692
and they go across the front.
261
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:35,621
- Pause?
262
00:08:35,653 --> 00:08:37,143
- Pawns.
263
00:08:37,171 --> 00:08:39,041
P-A-W-N-S, okay?
264
00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:41,000
- Ponds. Like a lake.
265
00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:43,517
- Think of these like
Corey and Jacob.
266
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:44,967
- So they're dumb?
267
00:08:45,007 --> 00:08:47,767
- They are sort of the
dumbest of the pieces.
268
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:49,293
Okay. So then look.
269
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:49,911
See these?
270
00:08:49,943 --> 00:08:51,433
There's two of these.
271
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:54,191
See? It's the little
castle piece.
272
00:08:54,223 --> 00:08:55,743
- I wouldn't say it's a castle.
273
00:08:55,776 --> 00:08:57,466
- Well, it like a-
274
00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:58,542
- Cannon?
275
00:08:58,572 --> 00:08:59,542
- Okay. It's a cannon.
276
00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,573
Yes.
277
00:09:00,609 --> 00:09:02,399
They go on each
corner behind them.
278
00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:05,678
- Boom. Kinda looks like
the mouth on the Predator.
279
00:09:06,856 --> 00:09:09,476
- Okay. And then do you
got two horses?
280
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:10,484
- Horses?
281
00:09:10,515 --> 00:09:11,615
- See the horses?
282
00:09:11,654 --> 00:09:12,554
- Oh yeah.
283
00:09:13,967 --> 00:09:15,517
Horse heads.
284
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,965
- Well, horse head. Yes.
285
00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:18,524
Okay. And then see this one?
286
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,008
This is a bishop.
287
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:22,042
Little pointy guy with
the slit for the mouth.
288
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,668
He's like a knight.
289
00:09:23,701 --> 00:09:25,291
He goes next to that.
290
00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:26,843
And then you got your king
and your queen,
291
00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:28,046
going between them.
292
00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:29,194
- Which one's which?
293
00:09:29,223 --> 00:09:31,333
- The king has a cross
on top of him.
294
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,123
- Got him, and the other
one's got a crown, I guess.
295
00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,328
- Yep. That's the queen.
296
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,957
- Be easier if they
put a cock on the king.
297
00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:39,061
- I can't even believe it,
298
00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,675
that you were in
space three times.
299
00:09:41,719 --> 00:09:43,959
One time for five months.
300
00:09:43,997 --> 00:09:45,617
I mean, that's...
301
00:09:45,654 --> 00:09:46,974
I don't even know what to say.
302
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,970
I probably won't get to do that.
303
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:51,873
Realistically, I'm
starting to realize
304
00:09:51,901 --> 00:09:54,901
that I might have
missed my chance.
305
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:55,909
[Bubbles chuckles]
306
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:58,110
But it's awesome that you did.
307
00:09:58,149 --> 00:10:01,009
- But we could simulate
space flight together.
308
00:10:01,048 --> 00:10:03,638
- Well, that's what I was
gonna ask you.
309
00:10:03,672 --> 00:10:05,742
I play space with Ricky
310
00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:07,017
and he doesn't really get it.
311
00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,334
I like to use space words
312
00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:11,436
and I try to learn some
of the lingo and stuff.
313
00:10:11,472 --> 00:10:13,472
And I know a few
things that I use,
314
00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:14,789
but Ricky doesn't.
315
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:18,511
He starts talking about
space weed and Juniper and-
316
00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:19,308
- Juniper?
- Yeah.
317
00:10:19,342 --> 00:10:20,342
He just doesn't get it.
318
00:10:20,378 --> 00:10:21,688
- Well, we could talk
space talk if you like.
319
00:10:21,724 --> 00:10:26,494
- Yeah. Could you throw some
heavy launch lingo at me,
320
00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:28,562
if you were talking to the-
- Sure.
321
00:10:29,352 --> 00:10:31,602
- I used to say things like
322
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,561
"Mission Controls, this
is Commander Bubbles.
323
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:37,638
I got an MPS warning light in
the link monitor subsystem.
324
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,261
I'm requesting reallocation
of main OMS firing
325
00:10:40,294 --> 00:10:42,784
through the CDS at level six."
326
00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:43,684
That type of thing.
327
00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:44,852
- Yeah. That's good.
328
00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:46,195
But you gotta be careful
that you don't wanna get
329
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:47,371
your hullage down too far
330
00:10:47,405 --> 00:10:49,225
'cause you get into a blow
down situation.
331
00:10:49,269 --> 00:10:50,889
So you gotta watch the
helium pressure
332
00:10:50,926 --> 00:10:52,166
inside the OMS tank.
333
00:10:52,203 --> 00:10:53,893
- That's right. Oh yes!
334
00:10:53,929 --> 00:10:56,449
Tell me more about this
OMS pressure.
335
00:10:56,483 --> 00:10:58,493
- Yeah, well, in the
Reaction Control System,
336
00:10:58,519 --> 00:11:00,799
of course, with the
hypergolic fuels,
337
00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,592
when the nitrogen
tetroxide is mixing
338
00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:04,527
with the ammonium nitrate,
339
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,530
you gotta make sure that
your pressures are good
340
00:11:06,562 --> 00:11:08,392
so you don't get an
imbalance of the mixture,
341
00:11:08,426 --> 00:11:10,696
otherwise, you get a
really bad combustion.
342
00:11:10,739 --> 00:11:11,459
- Oh yeah.
343
00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:12,358
[Bubbles giggles]
344
00:11:12,395 --> 00:11:14,465
You don't want bad combustion,
do you?
345
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:14,781
- No
- No
346
00:11:14,812 --> 00:11:16,092
- No.
347
00:11:16,123 --> 00:11:19,823
- And maybe, so what
switches would be right here?
348
00:11:19,851 --> 00:11:20,751
What would we be seeing?
349
00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:21,923
- Okay, so you got
350
00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:23,167
the Orbital Maneuvering
System right here,
351
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:24,549
and then the two
Reaction Control
352
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:26,310
for the left and the right
right there in front of you,
353
00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:28,170
and then one for the Nose
Reaction Control System
354
00:11:28,204 --> 00:11:29,344
right there, above your head.
355
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:29,718
- Decent.
356
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:30,858
- Yep.
357
00:11:30,897 --> 00:11:32,447
- So when you're coming
back into reentry
358
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,764
in the shuttle, the
guy's flying her, right?
359
00:11:34,797 --> 00:11:35,827
Like a?
360
00:11:35,867 --> 00:11:37,277
- Yeah, with that hand,
you fly it.
361
00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:38,317
- This hand?
- Right in the middle.
362
00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:39,702
- In the middle?
- And then this one,
363
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,743
you handle, it's got a big,
throttle thing
364
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:43,531
for the speed break.
- Okay.
365
00:11:43,564 --> 00:11:44,774
So it's like the Hornet?
366
00:11:44,807 --> 00:11:46,047
I flew the Hornet.
- Yes, it is like the Hornet.
367
00:11:46,084 --> 00:11:47,264
- I know. You're The Hornet.
368
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:49,472
- It's like a Hornet.
- You're the Hornet guy.
369
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:50,191
- Yep.
370
00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:51,496
- Yes, I got to fly the Hornet.
371
00:11:51,538 --> 00:11:53,058
- The neat thing about
the shuttle is though,
372
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,401
if you wanna go up and
down, you go like that.
373
00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:56,087
If you wanted to roll,
you go like that.
374
00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:57,789
If you want it to turn,
you just twist it.
375
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:58,750
- Oh. Decent!
376
00:11:58,787 --> 00:11:59,647
- Can do the whole
thing like that.
377
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:00,654
It's pretty cool.
378
00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:01,575
- That's like video game.
379
00:12:01,617 --> 00:12:03,207
I have a video game that
works like that.
380
00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:05,029
- Yeah. It's like a video game.
381
00:12:05,069 --> 00:12:06,799
- Can I ask you about?
382
00:12:06,829 --> 00:12:08,309
You were a test pilot.
383
00:12:08,348 --> 00:12:09,588
- I was.
384
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,725
- Top test pilot in the US.
385
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:12,345
I read that.
386
00:12:12,386 --> 00:12:13,656
- Yep. I was.
387
00:12:13,698 --> 00:12:17,598
- What's the craziest
thing you ever had to test?
388
00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:21,571
- We'd put F-18s outta
control to try and invent
389
00:12:21,602 --> 00:12:23,712
new ways to get it back
under control again.
390
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,333
- Like a flat spin in Top Gun?
391
00:12:25,365 --> 00:12:28,125
- Yep. Flat spin and all sorts
392
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:30,681
of inertial outta
control work and-
393
00:12:30,715 --> 00:12:33,235
- What happens if you
can't get her though?
394
00:12:33,269 --> 00:12:34,549
- Well, you wait a while
395
00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:36,791
and hopefully, it'll get
down where the air's thicker
396
00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:38,405
so then it'll fly a
little better.
397
00:12:38,447 --> 00:12:41,587
The worst I had was it
fell for about two miles,
398
00:12:41,622 --> 00:12:44,662
fell for about 30 seconds,
just outta control.
399
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,354
And then, eventually,
the air got thick enough
400
00:12:46,386 --> 00:12:48,036
that we could make it fly again.
401
00:12:48,077 --> 00:12:49,597
- Oh my god!
402
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:52,190
I didn't realize that's
exactly what test pilots do.
403
00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:53,389
- So here's what you do.
404
00:12:53,427 --> 00:12:56,047
You're in an F-18 and
you just push forward
405
00:12:56,085 --> 00:12:57,395
on the stick a little bit
so it's gentle
406
00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:58,851
and then you stand to one rudder
407
00:12:58,881 --> 00:13:00,331
and the vehicle goes sideways
408
00:13:00,365 --> 00:13:01,875
and then flat plates and
then took off,
409
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:04,159
and then it will go end
over end over end.
410
00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:05,507
And then, you'd have
to figure out new ways
411
00:13:05,543 --> 00:13:06,723
to get it back under.
412
00:13:06,751 --> 00:13:08,681
- Well, when I was flying
it, the guy told me,
413
00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:09,618
"Do whatever you want."
414
00:13:09,650 --> 00:13:11,340
What if I had a done that?
415
00:13:11,376 --> 00:13:11,996
[man laughs]
416
00:13:12,032 --> 00:13:12,792
He's like, "Yeah, Bubbles.
417
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,096
Do whatever you want to."
418
00:13:14,138 --> 00:13:18,418
So I was going straight up,
straight down, throttles.
419
00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:20,212
I could have put her
into a flat spin.
420
00:13:20,247 --> 00:13:20,967
Nobody told me that.
421
00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:22,037
- You could have.
422
00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:24,527
Well, actually, after we
did that test,
423
00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:27,532
they changed the way the
airplane flies,
424
00:13:27,565 --> 00:13:30,115
the flight controls, so
it'd protect you
425
00:13:30,154 --> 00:13:32,674
from putting it into a
spin like that.
426
00:13:32,708 --> 00:13:34,678
[cheerful violin music]
427
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:35,920
- About 2 billion people
428
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:38,653
across the world consume liquor.
429
00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,059
A small percentage of those
430
00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:42,505
fall into the
category of excess.
431
00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:43,645
[cheerful violin music]
432
00:13:43,684 --> 00:13:47,274
But whether you drink a
little, or you drink a lot,
433
00:13:47,309 --> 00:13:49,999
every drop of liquor
tells a different story.
434
00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:53,516
[cheerful violin music]
435
00:14:01,702 --> 00:14:05,262
[melodic piano playing]
436
00:14:05,292 --> 00:14:06,292
Good day.
437
00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:08,948
Welcome to another liquor story
438
00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:11,326
with your host, Jim Lahey.
439
00:14:11,367 --> 00:14:12,747
Today, we're gonna try something
440
00:14:12,782 --> 00:14:13,992
a little bit different.
441
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,815
Today, it's gonna be
a little quiz.
442
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,615
You're gonna guess what
kind of liquor
443
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:20,310
that we're promoting today.
444
00:14:21,032 --> 00:14:22,592
I'll give you a hint.
445
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,790
It's not fermented.
446
00:14:24,829 --> 00:14:26,379
It's brewed like beer
447
00:14:27,452 --> 00:14:29,352
800 years ago
448
00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:31,145
in a little place, a
little island
449
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:34,530
out in the Pacific called Japan.
450
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:35,703
Are you close?
451
00:14:35,736 --> 00:14:36,736
Can you get it?
452
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:40,361
Ta-da!
453
00:14:41,259 --> 00:14:42,469
Sake!
454
00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:44,122
That's what we got
going for us today,
455
00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:45,469
ladies and gentlemen.
456
00:14:45,505 --> 00:14:46,955
Wonderful sake.
457
00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:48,819
Now, I can't drink this today.
458
00:14:48,853 --> 00:14:50,443
I'd love to have a
little tippy poo,
459
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:53,745
but custom says that
someone else
460
00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:54,959
has to pour it for you.
461
00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:57,137
The cup comes in a little
wooden box like this,
462
00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:59,072
and then you pour the
thing like this.
463
00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:01,065
Hayuwatha! That's what you say.
464
00:15:01,107 --> 00:15:03,557
No, you say, "Cayo Bunga."
465
00:15:03,592 --> 00:15:05,322
And then, you pour it in.
466
00:15:05,352 --> 00:15:07,772
Someone else pours it in
and you go, "No, no, no.
467
00:15:07,803 --> 00:15:08,533
That's enough."
468
00:15:08,562 --> 00:15:09,812
But they keep pouring it
469
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:12,389
and it pours over the top
of the edge into the box.
470
00:15:12,428 --> 00:15:15,048
Then, you drink it
and it's sweet.
471
00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:18,706
Do you know what Rice
Krispies tastes like?
472
00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:19,985
Something like that I guess.
473
00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:21,022
I don't like this shit.
474
00:15:21,058 --> 00:15:23,748
But let's be serious.
475
00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:26,684
Sake is a wonderful drink.
476
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:28,238
Some people drink it hot.
477
00:15:28,272 --> 00:15:30,102
Some people drink it
room temperature.
478
00:15:30,136 --> 00:15:31,236
Some people drink it chilled.
479
00:15:31,275 --> 00:15:32,305
If you drink it chilled,
480
00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:35,615
it's because it's good
fucking sake.
481
00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:36,728
That's what I'm told.
482
00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:38,353
Bad sake, you heat up,
483
00:15:38,385 --> 00:15:40,965
masks to the taste and
blends the flavors
484
00:15:41,009 --> 00:15:42,249
back and forth.
485
00:15:42,286 --> 00:15:45,146
Anyway, every time I look
at this little thing...
486
00:15:45,185 --> 00:15:46,385
This was on our shelf.
487
00:15:46,428 --> 00:15:50,088
This was on our mantle
piece for a couple years.
488
00:15:50,846 --> 00:15:53,566
Yeah, because way back in...
489
00:15:53,607 --> 00:15:55,957
Well, when was it, late 70s?
490
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,029
And I was, I was in
a patrol car.
491
00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:58,989
I was doing night duty
'cause I was...
492
00:15:59,027 --> 00:16:01,367
Well, I told you that
story before.
493
00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:04,688
Anyway, it was my last break
before the end of my shift
494
00:16:04,722 --> 00:16:07,282
and I was at Tim Hortons
having a double double
495
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,182
and I had some of them
Boston cream donuts
496
00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:12,281
and I sucked the cream out
497
00:16:12,316 --> 00:16:15,416
and I poured some
bourbon in the donuts
498
00:16:15,457 --> 00:16:18,527
and I ate one or two of
them, and then I had a call.
499
00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:22,883
It was robbery in
progress at Lee Fongs.
500
00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:25,122
It was a Chinese restaurant.
501
00:16:25,156 --> 00:16:28,156
And I wonder why he
would have sake,
502
00:16:28,194 --> 00:16:30,544
if he's a Chinese restaurant.
503
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:32,295
His name was Bruce Lee.
504
00:16:32,336 --> 00:16:34,676
Not like the other
Bruce Lee that you know.
505
00:16:34,717 --> 00:16:36,957
It was not the L-E-A or L-E-E.
506
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,136
Different spelling.
507
00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:40,969
Anyway, someone took
100 bucks from the guy.
508
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,380
That's not a lot of money now,
509
00:16:42,415 --> 00:16:45,755
but back then, for a just
struggling Bruce Lee, it was.
510
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,107
So I promised that I would do
511
00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,935
everything in my
power to find out
512
00:16:49,974 --> 00:16:51,044
who stole the thing.
513
00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:54,499
And I had to seize this
little bottle
514
00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:55,670
as part of evidence
515
00:16:55,704 --> 00:16:59,124
'cause he threw it at the
robber as he was escaping.
516
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,229
So I took it home
517
00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:03,681
and I had it in the car.
518
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:06,202
But when I went in, I was
gonna have a little night cap
519
00:17:06,232 --> 00:17:09,822
'cause Barb took all my
fucking booze
520
00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,716
and poured it down the
fucking drain.
521
00:17:11,754 --> 00:17:12,934
All the bottles lined up
522
00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:16,072
like poor little
Indian soldiers,
523
00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:18,074
standing beside the fridge.
524
00:17:18,106 --> 00:17:19,106
And I didn't have anything.
525
00:17:19,141 --> 00:17:21,941
I went out to the car,
I got my sake,
526
00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:23,771
had a little sippy poo
527
00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:25,111
and I put it down by
the bedside.
528
00:17:25,147 --> 00:17:26,797
In the morning, Barb
woke up and said,
529
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,498
"What the fuck is this?"
530
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:30,880
Anyway, I told her,
531
00:17:30,911 --> 00:17:33,471
it was a vessel for
sacred holy water
532
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:34,780
that this guy gave me.
533
00:17:34,812 --> 00:17:36,162
And she put it on the mantle
534
00:17:36,193 --> 00:17:37,853
and she wouldn't let me
fucking take it.
535
00:17:37,884 --> 00:17:41,094
So I scrapped the
report on Bruce Lee.
536
00:17:41,129 --> 00:17:44,479
Every time I look, that was
when I started drinking.
537
00:17:44,511 --> 00:17:47,201
Bad, hard, good times.
538
00:17:47,238 --> 00:17:52,448
So every time I see this
little Chinese lady from Japan,
539
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:54,730
I always think,
540
00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:59,113
"What would I be like if
I didn't drink?"
541
00:17:59,147 --> 00:18:02,007
Well, I don't drinks sake,
so that's a fucking progress.
542
00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:04,116
[soft piano playing]
543
00:18:04,152 --> 00:18:07,092
- Jeremiah Slagle?
544
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:09,880
Is that Slagle or Stagle?
545
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:11,676
Slagle or Stagle.
546
00:18:11,711 --> 00:18:12,301
Whatever the fuck it is.
547
00:18:12,332 --> 00:18:13,512
Jeremiah.
548
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:15,780
"My girl and I wanna bring
another girl into the mix."
549
00:18:15,818 --> 00:18:16,678
Hm.
550
00:18:16,716 --> 00:18:18,956
"She has this chick in mind.
551
00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:21,484
When she's sitting next to me,
I smell..."
552
00:18:21,514 --> 00:18:23,144
Oh Jesus!
553
00:18:23,171 --> 00:18:24,931
"But when she's
sitting next to me,
554
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:26,655
I smell seafood." [laughs]
555
00:18:26,691 --> 00:18:28,381
Jesus Christ.
556
00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:31,347
"Should I say 'Fuck it'
and get a clothespin
557
00:18:31,386 --> 00:18:33,526
or just get a blowup doll?"
558
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,770
Okay, man. Blow up dolls,
that's fucking weird.
559
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:37,054
Okay?
560
00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:39,701
Some dudes in jail, they
get ahold of those things.
561
00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:42,537
I don't know. It's pretty
fucking gross.
562
00:18:42,569 --> 00:18:46,129
You're banging a fucking
doll, a blow up doll.
563
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,849
That's pretty fucked up.
564
00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:48,985
Don't do that.
565
00:18:49,024 --> 00:18:50,164
Clothespin?
566
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:51,028
That's not gonna work, man.
567
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,270
What you gotta do,
568
00:18:52,303 --> 00:18:55,033
you gotta start this
threesome off in the shower.
569
00:18:55,996 --> 00:18:57,616
Go down with the little rubby,
dub, dub,
570
00:18:57,653 --> 00:18:58,973
get everything nice and clean,
571
00:18:58,999 --> 00:19:01,859
use one of those fucking,
those little scrubby things.
572
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:04,209
Just get all the bits
and pieces clean,
573
00:19:04,246 --> 00:19:06,936
get your thing going,
and then maybe,
574
00:19:06,973 --> 00:19:07,873
you do that every day,
575
00:19:07,905 --> 00:19:08,905
she's not gonna smell like fish.
576
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:09,800
I guarantee you.
577
00:19:09,838 --> 00:19:11,048
Okay?
578
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,250
Threesomes in the
shower every day.
579
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,529
Then at night, you're
okay to go down
580
00:19:14,567 --> 00:19:15,877
and do whatever you
gotta do in bed
581
00:19:15,913 --> 00:19:17,433
'cause it won't smell
like seafood.
582
00:19:17,466 --> 00:19:19,806
Don't blame you, man.
I don't like seafood.
583
00:19:19,848 --> 00:19:21,128
Makes me sick.
584
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:23,580
Moving on to Michelle,
585
00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:25,647
All right, Michelle.
586
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:27,301
"Dear Julian. I love my
rum and Coke.
587
00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:28,858
However, I am wondering if Coke
588
00:19:28,891 --> 00:19:31,001
or Diet Coke are more healthy.
589
00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:33,791
Coke has corn syrup and
diet has aspartame
590
00:19:33,827 --> 00:19:36,137
or sucralose, or sweetener."
591
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,205
Whatever, all that shit.
592
00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:39,385
"Of course neither is healthy,
593
00:19:39,419 --> 00:19:42,319
but which would you think
is better for keeping fit?"
594
00:19:42,353 --> 00:19:43,633
All right. You
definitely gotta go
595
00:19:43,665 --> 00:19:45,075
with the Diet Coke, all right?
596
00:19:45,114 --> 00:19:47,814
It doesn't taste nearly as good,
597
00:19:47,841 --> 00:19:49,771
but you gotta go for that.
598
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:51,950
I don't know.
599
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,053
What I like to do sometimes,
600
00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:54,988
have a few normal pops,
601
00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:57,781
normal Cokes, then
switch it up a bit,
602
00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:58,747
get in some diet.
603
00:19:58,783 --> 00:20:00,443
Just go back and forth,
604
00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:01,265
and then maybe,
605
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:03,476
try drinking it with water,
okay?
606
00:20:03,512 --> 00:20:06,212
If you really want to get
fit or whatever,
607
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,139
drink it with water.
608
00:20:07,171 --> 00:20:08,171
Doesn't taste that bad.
609
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,587
Lots of ice cubes though.
610
00:20:10,830 --> 00:20:12,280
All right, there you go.
611
00:20:12,314 --> 00:20:15,634
That's it for another
session of "Dear Julian."
612
00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:16,942
Hope things helped you out here,
613
00:20:16,974 --> 00:20:17,914
you guys and your lives.
614
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,080
But if it didn't, like I said,
615
00:20:19,114 --> 00:20:20,434
I don't give a fuck.
616
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,984
This is not what I do.
617
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:23,844
Thank you.
618
00:20:23,877 --> 00:20:27,357
[melodic piano playing]
619
00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:32,776
- Bubs?
620
00:20:32,817 --> 00:20:33,777
You're a woman.
621
00:20:33,818 --> 00:20:34,958
[Ricky laughs]
622
00:20:34,992 --> 00:20:37,242
- I'm not though, so it's
hard to process.
623
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,382
- Well, just pretend that
you're a girl.
624
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,664
- I'm not a girl, I'm Bubbles.
625
00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:45,420
- All right. I'll make
it easier for you then.
626
00:20:45,451 --> 00:20:46,451
Amy Poehler.
627
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,900
- I think she's lovely.
628
00:20:48,937 --> 00:20:50,317
- Yeah. She is pretty lovely.
629
00:20:50,352 --> 00:20:51,802
- And she's funny as fuck too.
630
00:20:51,836 --> 00:20:53,106
She makes me laugh.
631
00:20:53,148 --> 00:20:54,358
- No, I know if
Julian was a woman,
632
00:20:54,391 --> 00:20:56,631
he would definitely bang
this next one.
633
00:20:56,669 --> 00:20:57,879
Marc Anthony.
634
00:20:57,911 --> 00:20:59,981
'Cause remember you used
to do that fucking dance?
635
00:21:00,017 --> 00:21:01,807
♪ Living la vida lotion
636
00:21:01,846 --> 00:21:02,736
- What?
637
00:21:03,986 --> 00:21:04,986
No, man.
638
00:21:05,022 --> 00:21:07,202
I never did the "La
vida lotion".
639
00:21:07,231 --> 00:21:09,961
♪ He will bring you down
640
00:21:09,992 --> 00:21:11,242
- What song are you singing?
641
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,480
- Living la vida lotion.
642
00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:14,453
- No, man!
643
00:21:15,239 --> 00:21:16,239
That wasn't Marc Anthony.
644
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,655
That was what's his
fucking name?
645
00:21:18,691 --> 00:21:19,551
- That was Ricky Martin.
646
00:21:19,588 --> 00:21:20,728
- Oh Fuck! That's right.
647
00:21:20,762 --> 00:21:21,592
What was Marc Anthony?
648
00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:22,415
I know you liked him too.
649
00:21:22,453 --> 00:21:24,253
- [Bubbles] Living
La Vida Lotion
650
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,044
- I've never listened to
Mark Anthony tunes, man.
651
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:29,768
- He has a lot of sexual songs.
652
00:21:29,805 --> 00:21:31,045
You like those.
653
00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,462
- Sexual songs?
654
00:21:32,498 --> 00:21:33,458
- Sex music.
655
00:21:33,499 --> 00:21:34,399
[Ricky laughs]
656
00:21:34,431 --> 00:21:36,541
When you're wearing
your sex underwear
657
00:21:38,711 --> 00:21:40,331
- It would've been BB
King's birthday today.
658
00:21:40,368 --> 00:21:42,888
So I wanted to say that for you,
Bubs.
659
00:21:42,922 --> 00:21:46,582
[imitates guitar]
660
00:21:46,615 --> 00:21:48,335
- David Cockerfield.
661
00:21:48,376 --> 00:21:49,926
Copperfield.
662
00:21:49,963 --> 00:21:51,143
- Yeah? What about him?
663
00:21:51,171 --> 00:21:52,071
- Would you bang him?
664
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:54,763
[Ricky laughs]
665
00:21:55,659 --> 00:21:57,039
- Would you, Ricky?
666
00:21:57,074 --> 00:21:58,594
- All right, I'll just
stick to ladies.
667
00:21:58,627 --> 00:21:59,697
- Yeah.
668
00:21:59,732 --> 00:22:03,012
- Yeah. What if
you're Richelina?
669
00:22:04,599 --> 00:22:07,079
- Definitely. I'd bang
whatever I could.
670
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:11,708
Fuck it. Especially,
these famous celebrities.
671
00:22:11,744 --> 00:22:13,574
Bang the shit outta them.
672
00:22:13,608 --> 00:22:14,678
- Okay.
673
00:22:14,712 --> 00:22:15,642
Molly Shannon?
674
00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:17,648
- Yep.
675
00:22:17,681 --> 00:22:19,061
- Yeah.
676
00:22:19,096 --> 00:22:20,856
- Julian, you're gonna
love this one.
677
00:22:20,891 --> 00:22:22,031
One of your fucking idols.
678
00:22:22,064 --> 00:22:23,764
- [Julian] Oh God!
679
00:22:23,790 --> 00:22:25,000
- Mickey Rourke.
680
00:22:25,033 --> 00:22:26,243
- Mickey Rourke?
681
00:22:26,275 --> 00:22:28,205
- You would bang the
shit outta him,
682
00:22:28,243 --> 00:22:29,803
if you were a girl.
683
00:22:29,831 --> 00:22:31,381
- No I wouldn't man.
684
00:22:31,419 --> 00:22:33,209
- You thought he was
the fucking man
685
00:22:33,248 --> 00:22:35,008
after ten and a half weeks
686
00:22:35,871 --> 00:22:37,151
or eight and a half
weeks or what?
687
00:22:37,183 --> 00:22:39,603
- Nine and a half weeks.
- Nine and a half months.
688
00:22:39,634 --> 00:22:41,084
- No, man.
689
00:22:41,118 --> 00:22:42,528
Kim Basinger man.
690
00:22:42,568 --> 00:22:43,568
She was awesome.
691
00:22:43,603 --> 00:22:46,193
- But you did comment
about Mickey a lot.
692
00:22:46,226 --> 00:22:47,366
- What did I say about Mickey?
693
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,160
- You said "Fuck, he
really works out.
694
00:22:50,196 --> 00:22:51,646
He looks good without
a shirt on."
695
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,230
- I once said, "He's fucking
good with the ladies."
696
00:22:53,268 --> 00:22:54,718
That's what I was saying.
697
00:22:54,752 --> 00:22:57,032
- You said, "He must work out-
- He's smooth, man.
698
00:22:57,065 --> 00:22:58,855
- And he's got a
really nice body.
699
00:22:58,894 --> 00:22:59,964
- I didn't say that, man.
700
00:22:59,999 --> 00:23:02,799
I said he was a smooth
fucking operator.
701
00:23:02,829 --> 00:23:05,209
I did look up to him
in that movie.
702
00:23:05,245 --> 00:23:09,795
- He was quite a machine,
Mickey Rourke.
703
00:23:09,836 --> 00:23:10,696
- All right.
704
00:23:10,734 --> 00:23:12,054
- [Bubbles] Is that it, Ricky?
705
00:23:12,805 --> 00:23:13,835
- Let's go break into cars.
706
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:16,705
[cheerful music]
707
00:23:23,747 --> 00:23:26,607
[waves crashing]
708
00:23:26,646 --> 00:23:29,296
[seagulls calling]
709
00:23:29,338 --> 00:23:34,518
- [Fish] Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
710
00:23:36,656 --> 00:23:39,756
[electronics whoosh]
711
00:23:42,697 --> 00:23:43,557
- [Man] Fuck off!
712
00:23:43,607 --> 00:23:48,157
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