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1
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,999
You know ryan
i wish you did not bring youre own ketchup
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:09,933
It's weird.
3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,361
We've been through this.
4
00:00:11,368 --> 00:00:12,535
These things
5
00:00:12,551 --> 00:00:13,751
sit around for months,
6
00:00:13,766 --> 00:00:15,767
being manhandled by drunks,
7
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,784
topped off by incompetent wait staff...
8
00:00:17,765 --> 00:00:20,033
Hey, how are ya?
9
00:00:20,004 --> 00:00:21,270
That's ridiculous, Ryan.
10
00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:22,617
You could say the same
thing about the cutlery.
11
00:00:22,626 --> 00:00:24,193
And I do.
12
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:28,214
More importantly, the
packets just taste better.
13
00:00:28,191 --> 00:00:29,791
Oh, come on, Ryan!
14
00:00:29,791 --> 00:00:31,258
That's like saying you
can tell the difference
15
00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:33,530
between box wine and bottled wine.
16
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,636
Look, some of us have a refined palate.
17
00:00:35,612 --> 00:00:37,179
Please, you only ever get the burger here.
18
00:00:37,179 --> 00:00:39,413
Yeah, because my palate
knows what to order.
19
00:00:39,386 --> 00:00:42,588
For instance, not the linguine and clams.
20
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,355
What's wrong with linguine and clams?
21
00:00:44,343 --> 00:00:46,078
At a bar?
22
00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:48,338
That's like going to
McDonald's and ordering...
23
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:50,311
the linguine and clams.
24
00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:52,928
Besides, didn't they make
you violently ill last time?
25
00:00:52,883 --> 00:00:55,618
That was hilarious.
26
00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:57,571
Yeah, well, if it wasn't
for the linguine and clams,
27
00:00:57,552 --> 00:00:58,853
Kim and I never would have met.
28
00:00:58,865 --> 00:01:00,566
Aw, I love this story.
29
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,961
Ooh, a story about how you two first met?
30
00:01:01,967 --> 00:01:04,101
I didn't know how to ask.
31
00:01:04,718 --> 00:01:06,552
Tell it, tell it.
32
00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,574
You know what? I'll tell it.
33
00:01:08,555 --> 00:01:10,356
So Danny walks into the tea shop...
34
00:01:10,346 --> 00:01:12,048
Well, no, it started before that.
35
00:01:12,042 --> 00:01:14,844
I was here with the guys, and...
36
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:17,828
Hoo... I don't feel so good.
37
00:01:17,768 --> 00:01:19,201
I think I need some fresh air.
38
00:01:21,606 --> 00:01:22,973
You know, you do look a little...
39
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:24,447
"clammy."
40
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:36,692
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com
41
00:01:39,326 --> 00:01:40,692
Hey, were you sick?
42
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,168
No, close call, though.
43
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:44,030
What happened to my clams?
44
00:01:44,058 --> 00:01:45,526
Yeah, we took those away.
45
00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:48,899
What? They were $10.95!
46
00:01:48,824 --> 00:01:50,291
Anyway, where were we?
47
00:01:50,296 --> 00:01:51,796
So Danny walks into the tea shop...
48
00:01:51,799 --> 00:01:54,067
And you met and fell in love, the end.
49
00:01:54,038 --> 00:01:56,505
Wow, what a nail biter.
50
00:01:56,468 --> 00:02:00,371
My palate is twice as good as your palate.
51
00:02:00,275 --> 00:02:02,977
No. You burned your taste
buds off when you were a kid.
52
00:02:02,929 --> 00:02:04,596
Yes, because you thought it'd be funny
53
00:02:04,593 --> 00:02:07,662
to microwave my retainer.
54
00:02:07,599 --> 00:02:10,501
Look, Nikki, you're impartial.
Who has more taste buds?
55
00:02:10,446 --> 00:02:11,479
Aaaahh...
56
00:02:11,501 --> 00:02:12,934
Aaaahh...
57
00:02:15,148 --> 00:02:17,415
Okay, let's hear this story.
58
00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:18,686
All right...
59
00:02:18,698 --> 00:02:20,531
It started out on a day
just like any other...
60
00:02:20,521 --> 00:02:22,656
Actually... no, we were here,
61
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:24,734
and they were setting
up for Hawaiian night,
62
00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:26,278
but that's not important.
63
00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:27,879
Hoo...
64
00:02:27,877 --> 00:02:28,977
I don't feel so good.
65
00:02:28,997 --> 00:02:30,297
Something you ate?
66
00:02:30,308 --> 00:02:32,442
No, can't be that. I had
the linguine and clams.
67
00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:33,552
It's the chef's specialty.
68
00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:35,572
Have you seen the chef here?
69
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:37,555
'Cause I'm pretty sure
his specialty is sweating.
70
00:02:38,848 --> 00:02:40,215
I think I'd better head home.
71
00:02:40,223 --> 00:02:42,124
Oh, good idea, buddy.
72
00:02:42,111 --> 00:02:44,079
You do look a little... "clammy."
73
00:02:46,236 --> 00:02:47,770
Remind me to use that again.
74
00:02:48,732 --> 00:02:49,432
Oh...
75
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,201
I got a text from Alison.
76
00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:52,294
Aw...
77
00:02:52,314 --> 00:02:54,281
She has to work late again.
78
00:02:55,128 --> 00:02:56,094
Ryan...
79
00:02:56,121 --> 00:02:57,687
has it ever crossed your mind
80
00:02:57,687 --> 00:02:59,555
that your wife might be getting her meat
81
00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:02,277
from another butcher?
82
00:03:02,229 --> 00:03:03,696
Well, I do the shopping.
83
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,634
And cooking, so...
84
00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:09,540
Ryan, I think your wife
is having an affair!
85
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:11,257
You did see her with another man.
86
00:03:11,248 --> 00:03:14,017
No, that was Richard.
87
00:03:13,968 --> 00:03:16,235
His grandmother just died.
He needed some companionship.
88
00:03:16,205 --> 00:03:17,640
What about the other time?
89
00:03:17,645 --> 00:03:19,813
His dog had just died.
90
00:03:19,788 --> 00:03:22,457
You know, I hear his cat's
not doing well either.
91
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:25,113
Poor guy. Can't catch a break.
92
00:03:27,177 --> 00:03:29,344
Could I use your restroom?
93
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,120
Sorry. Paying customers only.
94
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,045
Oh, I'll buy something. Anything.
95
00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:34,730
I don't care how much it costs.
96
00:03:40,642 --> 00:03:42,110
Thanks for the dance!
97
00:03:42,114 --> 00:03:43,014
Funny...
98
00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:44,574
Any time but now!
99
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,426
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
100
00:03:47,423 --> 00:03:48,823
Who's this other chick working there?
101
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:51,232
Melissa. It was before you.
102
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:53,531
Was this Melissa chick
better at her job than me?
103
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,301
- Yes.
- Did she make more than me?
104
00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:56,291
Yes.
105
00:03:56,314 --> 00:03:57,815
Did she have a bigger rack than me?
106
00:03:57,818 --> 00:03:58,718
No.
107
00:03:58,745 --> 00:04:00,146
I thought as much.
108
00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:06,979
That guy over there looks familiar.
109
00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:10,101
He went into the bathroom 20 minutes ago.
110
00:04:10,036 --> 00:04:11,803
Oh, yeah.
111
00:04:13,202 --> 00:04:14,503
Hey!
112
00:04:14,514 --> 00:04:16,181
Thought you said you were
going to buy something.
113
00:04:16,177 --> 00:04:18,545
Right! Yeah, I almost forgot.
114
00:04:18,512 --> 00:04:19,679
Mm-hmm.
115
00:04:19,696 --> 00:04:20,528
I'll have whatever you recommend.
116
00:04:20,559 --> 00:04:22,659
How about something with mint?
117
00:04:25,196 --> 00:04:26,564
Keep it.
118
00:04:26,572 --> 00:04:27,773
And my bathroom key?
119
00:04:27,787 --> 00:04:28,854
Oh!
120
00:04:28,874 --> 00:04:31,443
Yeah, I really did almost forget that.
121
00:04:31,402 --> 00:04:32,768
That's not my key.
122
00:04:32,777 --> 00:04:35,611
You weren't my first stop.
123
00:04:40,165 --> 00:04:41,499
I met the girl of my dreams that day.
124
00:04:41,509 --> 00:04:42,376
Aw...
125
00:04:44,003 --> 00:04:45,203
Gross.
126
00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:48,939
Plenty of married women
have male best friends.
127
00:04:48,898 --> 00:04:51,565
Yeah, but usually, they're gay.
128
00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:53,994
You think Richard's gay?
129
00:04:53,982 --> 00:04:55,983
Oh, that makes me feel so much better!
130
00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:57,933
I was starting to worry for a second.
131
00:04:58,941 --> 00:04:59,941
Guys...
132
00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:02,832
I just met the most incredible girl.
133
00:05:02,779 --> 00:05:04,746
Did you use protection?
134
00:05:04,730 --> 00:05:06,664
No. I didn't even get her name.
135
00:05:06,648 --> 00:05:09,484
That counts as protection.
136
00:05:09,431 --> 00:05:11,499
Ah, young love.
137
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,381
I hope you and this woman find
a fraction of the happiness
138
00:05:14,325 --> 00:05:16,726
Alison and I might one day have.
139
00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:18,160
"One day?"
140
00:05:18,163 --> 00:05:19,530
You're married.
141
00:05:19,539 --> 00:05:22,006
Well, they say the first 10
or 15 years are the hardest.
142
00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:24,571
Now, where'd you meet this woman?
143
00:05:24,527 --> 00:05:27,296
She works at this tea shop near the Recess.
144
00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:28,247
She is just my type.
145
00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:29,637
So you asked her out?
146
00:05:29,646 --> 00:05:30,946
God, no, no.
147
00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:31,857
She's way out of my league.
148
00:05:31,884 --> 00:05:33,852
No, no, no. Hold on, stop.
149
00:05:33,836 --> 00:05:34,902
You gotta let this babe know
150
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:36,323
that you're way out of her league, okay?
151
00:05:36,331 --> 00:05:37,965
You need to go down there,
152
00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:39,295
drop your wallet...
153
00:05:39,304 --> 00:05:42,540
hundred-dollar bill, MAGNUM
condom, Costco card...
154
00:05:42,471 --> 00:05:44,706
boom, you're in.
155
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,879
I can't pull that off.
156
00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:47,695
You gotta make a move, Danny.
157
00:05:47,685 --> 00:05:48,918
Otherwise, you'll run
the risk of just being
158
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:51,060
the gay best friend, like Richard.
159
00:05:51,428 --> 00:05:53,128
You're right.
160
00:05:53,122 --> 00:05:54,622
I'm going down there.
161
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,138
Well...
162
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,561
Guess you'll be needing a wingman.
163
00:05:57,568 --> 00:05:59,001
Who's it gonna be, me or Ry...
164
00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:00,307
Ryan.
165
00:06:02,174 --> 00:06:03,875
Danny, I can't believe you picked Ryan
166
00:06:03,868 --> 00:06:05,570
to be your wingman.
167
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:06,697
Really?
168
00:06:06,715 --> 00:06:07,682
Your idea of picking up a woman
169
00:06:07,707 --> 00:06:09,374
is wearing a t-shirt that reads
170
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,237
"amateur gynecologist."
171
00:06:11,225 --> 00:06:12,693
Gets me every time.
172
00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:14,297
No offense, Sheldon,
173
00:06:14,296 --> 00:06:16,230
but you can be a little embarrassing.
174
00:06:16,215 --> 00:06:18,115
Embarrassing?
175
00:06:18,103 --> 00:06:20,304
This idiot brings his own
ketchup packages to the bar!
176
00:06:20,277 --> 00:06:21,344
All right, that's it.
177
00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:24,000
Blind taste test, right here, right now.
178
00:06:23,956 --> 00:06:24,888
I bet you I can tell the difference.
179
00:06:24,915 --> 00:06:25,981
You're on.
180
00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:27,764
What are the stakes?
181
00:06:27,729 --> 00:06:29,197
All right, what about this?
182
00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:31,603
Uh... Loser has to kiss Kim.
183
00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:32,967
Uh, no way.
184
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,943
I am not being the prize
in your idiotic bet.
185
00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:36,593
Well, you're not the prize.
You're the punishment.
186
00:06:37,548 --> 00:06:38,282
Forget it!
187
00:06:38,316 --> 00:06:39,350
What's the matter, Kim?
188
00:06:39,371 --> 00:06:41,072
Afraid maybe you're not a good kisser?
189
00:06:41,066 --> 00:06:43,502
Whoa, she is a fantastic kisser!
190
00:06:43,466 --> 00:06:44,366
Then it's settled.
191
00:06:44,393 --> 00:06:45,960
Fine.
192
00:06:45,961 --> 00:06:48,429
Wait, what did I just agree to?
193
00:06:55,588 --> 00:06:57,855
That's her, over by the tables.
194
00:06:57,826 --> 00:06:59,260
Mm-hmm.
195
00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:03,633
What is that?
196
00:07:03,648 --> 00:07:04,581
It's a mirror.
197
00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:07,309
It's make-up.
198
00:07:07,262 --> 00:07:09,463
No wonder your complexion
always looks so even.
199
00:07:09,438 --> 00:07:12,139
Well, I don't use it!
200
00:07:12,091 --> 00:07:13,325
Much.
201
00:07:14,747 --> 00:07:17,148
I swiped it from Alison
to spy on her and Richard.
202
00:07:17,114 --> 00:07:18,581
Turns out his cat's just fine!
203
00:07:21,335 --> 00:07:22,368
Wow, she's gorgeous.
204
00:07:22,392 --> 00:07:23,358
Mm-hmm.
205
00:07:23,383 --> 00:07:24,483
She really is just your type.
206
00:07:24,503 --> 00:07:26,890
It's like you two were meant to be.
207
00:07:35,377 --> 00:07:37,244
Uhh, that's not what happened.
208
00:07:37,232 --> 00:07:40,701
Yes, it is, Ryan.
209
00:07:40,622 --> 00:07:42,689
You're forgetting the funny, ironic part.
210
00:07:42,669 --> 00:07:44,436
The funny, ironic part is the best part.
211
00:07:44,428 --> 00:07:46,529
Really, the irony's the best part?
212
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,708
There's no sex scene?
213
00:07:48,682 --> 00:07:50,215
Excuse me...
214
00:07:50,218 --> 00:07:52,318
what's the funny, ironic part?
215
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,520
Wow, she's gorgeous.
216
00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:55,536
Mm-hmm.
217
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,892
She really is just your type.
218
00:07:56,902 --> 00:07:59,281
It's like you two were meant to be.
219
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,366
You were there to ask out Melissa?
220
00:08:11,328 --> 00:08:13,296
She seemed... nice.
221
00:08:13,278 --> 00:08:14,445
She was a skank!
222
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,128
Uh, take that back.
223
00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:17,425
Melissa was a dream.
224
00:08:17,437 --> 00:08:19,137
You never even met her.
225
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:22,001
But yes, Melissa was a delight.
226
00:08:21,946 --> 00:08:23,080
I can't believe
227
00:08:23,097 --> 00:08:24,998
you hid that part of the story from me.
228
00:08:24,985 --> 00:08:26,853
I didn't think it was important.
229
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,974
What's important
230
00:08:27,992 --> 00:08:29,959
is that our love triumphed over everything.
231
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,979
Even over you wanting
to bone another chick.
232
00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:40,825
I don't get it.
233
00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:44,549
If wonderful, amazing Melissa
was the girl of your dreams,
234
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:45,727
why did you even ask me out?
235
00:08:45,739 --> 00:08:49,909
That's the same question
I ask myself every day.
236
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:51,134
It wasn't like that.
237
00:08:51,144 --> 00:08:52,511
You weren't my second choice.
238
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,655
There's nothing wrong with a second choice.
239
00:08:54,631 --> 00:08:56,832
That's why I love threesomes.
240
00:08:56,806 --> 00:08:57,872
Can you guys stay out of it
241
00:08:57,893 --> 00:09:00,628
and just do your weird
ketchup thing, please?
242
00:09:03,490 --> 00:09:04,557
Okay, I'm gonna do it.
243
00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:05,478
Oh...
244
00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:06,505
What exactly are you going to say?
245
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:07,496
How about...
246
00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:08,554
"Hi, remember me?
247
00:09:08,577 --> 00:09:09,577
I'm the guy from the bathroom.
248
00:09:09,599 --> 00:09:11,025
Are you free tonight?"
249
00:09:11,807 --> 00:09:13,364
Perfect. Go get her, champ.
250
00:09:16,668 --> 00:09:18,064
I can't do it.
251
00:09:19,387 --> 00:09:20,987
What's the worst that can happen, huh?
252
00:09:20,986 --> 00:09:21,852
She says no,
253
00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:22,981
and you fall into
254
00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,369
a tailspin of self-doubt and depression
255
00:09:24,376 --> 00:09:25,276
that never lifts?
256
00:09:25,304 --> 00:09:26,670
Welcome to my world.
257
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,314
I haven't asked anyone out in a long time.
258
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,745
What if I say the wrong thing?
259
00:09:30,710 --> 00:09:32,644
How 'bout this? Write her a note.
260
00:09:32,628 --> 00:09:35,063
That way, you can figure out
exactly what you want to say
261
00:09:35,027 --> 00:09:36,194
and you don't have to face her
262
00:09:36,210 --> 00:09:37,210
when she rejects you.
263
00:09:37,234 --> 00:09:39,991
You think she's going to reject me?
264
00:09:40,336 --> 00:09:41,770
No.
265
00:09:42,672 --> 00:09:43,705
I'm leaving.
266
00:09:43,728 --> 00:09:45,009
Sit down.
267
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:48,925
All right, now...
268
00:09:48,941 --> 00:09:49,908
What's her name?
269
00:09:49,932 --> 00:09:51,432
No idea.
270
00:09:51,435 --> 00:09:54,271
No problem.
271
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,987
"To the woman of my brother's dreams..."
272
00:09:56,937 --> 00:09:58,003
Don't say that.
273
00:09:58,024 --> 00:09:59,391
You're supposed to be me, remember.
274
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,166
Sorry.
275
00:10:00,198 --> 00:10:01,665
Stupid...
276
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,790
"To the woman of Danny's dreams..."
277
00:10:06,243 --> 00:10:07,806
"My dreams!"
278
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:11,656
Okay...
279
00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:13,683
Blah, blah, blah...
280
00:10:13,665 --> 00:10:15,499
couple compliments...
281
00:10:15,488 --> 00:10:16,454
your phone number...
282
00:10:16,479 --> 00:10:19,548
and then, next to your name,
283
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:22,287
a sketch of a puppy with sad eyes.
284
00:10:22,236 --> 00:10:24,337
Subconsciously, saying no to you
285
00:10:24,315 --> 00:10:26,785
will be like saying no to this puppy.
286
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,662
It's brilliant.
287
00:10:52,141 --> 00:10:53,808
I still have that note.
288
00:10:53,805 --> 00:10:55,072
Look, yes,
289
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:58,120
it is true I asked Kim out
kind of by accident, but...
290
00:10:58,059 --> 00:10:59,693
You wanna know what else is true?
291
00:10:59,690 --> 00:11:01,858
I didn't want to go out with you either.
292
00:11:01,834 --> 00:11:02,934
What?
293
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:04,320
Hey, get this!
294
00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:06,329
Vomit guy just asked me out
295
00:11:06,311 --> 00:11:08,679
with a note saying, "you're my cup of tea."
296
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:14,093
Does he know you work in a tea shop?
297
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:16,054
I think maybe he does.
298
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,295
Hey, hold on, I have an idea.
299
00:11:19,297 --> 00:11:21,799
Isn't Jesse going to that luau thing
300
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:22,827
at the Recess tonight?
301
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,614
My ex?
302
00:11:24,606 --> 00:11:27,508
I don't know and I don't care.
303
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,354
Why, is he?
304
00:11:29,339 --> 00:11:31,741
Yeah, I think you should text this guy
305
00:11:31,707 --> 00:11:33,608
and ask him to come meet you there.
306
00:11:33,594 --> 00:11:36,629
Why, so Jesse can see me with another guy?
307
00:11:36,569 --> 00:11:38,279
That's pathetic.
308
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,647
Hey, what are you doing?
309
00:11:40,662 --> 00:11:42,829
Oh, I'm still doing it.
310
00:11:45,076 --> 00:11:46,176
You only went out with me
311
00:11:46,195 --> 00:11:48,764
so you could make some other guy jealous?
312
00:11:48,723 --> 00:11:49,823
Makes sense.
313
00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:51,476
How dare you, Kim?
314
00:11:51,473 --> 00:11:53,274
That date meant a lot to him.
315
00:11:53,265 --> 00:11:55,799
You mean the date that was
supposed to be with Melissa?
316
00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:57,492
Hello?
317
00:11:57,487 --> 00:11:59,420
You're the one who was using me.
318
00:11:59,406 --> 00:12:01,540
Okay, I was innocently going on a date
319
00:12:01,517 --> 00:12:03,117
with someone else I was...
320
00:12:03,116 --> 00:12:04,182
mildly interested in.
321
00:12:04,204 --> 00:12:05,170
Ha-ha!
322
00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:06,128
Mildly interested?
323
00:12:06,154 --> 00:12:08,522
Danny was a mess!
324
00:12:08,490 --> 00:12:09,783
Packets.
325
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,687
Dammit!
326
00:12:11,783 --> 00:12:13,851
This is stupid.
327
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:15,498
Just come downstairs!
328
00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:20,169
Now, that's what I call a shirt!
329
00:12:20,580 --> 00:12:22,347
I'm not wearing this.
330
00:12:22,339 --> 00:12:23,906
But it's luau night.
331
00:12:23,906 --> 00:12:25,340
And if you don't dress up,
332
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,746
she's going to think you're
a tight-ass stick in the mud.
333
00:12:27,712 --> 00:12:29,213
You know what? I think I'm gonna cancel.
334
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:30,349
No, look, you can't cancel.
335
00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,201
Now, you said this was
the girl of your dreams.
336
00:12:32,189 --> 00:12:33,623
Exactly!
337
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,496
It's way too much pressure.
338
00:12:35,484 --> 00:12:37,444
I'm putting my comfies back on.
339
00:12:37,819 --> 00:12:39,586
No! No comfies!
340
00:12:39,578 --> 00:12:42,280
Now, you're wearing that shirt,
you're going on that date!
341
00:12:42,809 --> 00:12:44,278
Fine.
342
00:12:44,218 --> 00:12:45,973
But are you sure about this?
343
00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:47,016
I mean, the last thing I want to do
344
00:12:46,971 --> 00:12:49,563
is show up on a first
date looking like an idiot.
345
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,187
Hey!
346
00:12:52,212 --> 00:12:54,346
This guy actually dressed up!
347
00:13:03,119 --> 00:13:04,519
Bottled.
348
00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:05,626
Dammit!
349
00:13:05,646 --> 00:13:07,614
So what happened?
350
00:13:07,596 --> 00:13:08,930
Did Jesse beat Danny up?
351
00:13:08,940 --> 00:13:09,973
Was it hot?
352
00:13:09,995 --> 00:13:11,963
Hi!
353
00:13:11,947 --> 00:13:14,681
Oh... Hi.
354
00:13:14,633 --> 00:13:15,934
It's you...
355
00:13:15,944 --> 00:13:18,112
Who were you expecting?
356
00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:21,715
You! Obviously.
357
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,504
Nice shirt.
358
00:13:23,493 --> 00:13:24,926
Oh, well, you know what they say...
359
00:13:24,932 --> 00:13:26,133
When in fake Hawaii,
360
00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:29,767
do as nobody else has bothered to do.
361
00:13:31,265 --> 00:13:32,932
Did that guy just wave at you?
362
00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:34,061
Hmm? What guy?
363
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:35,280
No, I don't know anyone here.
364
00:13:35,294 --> 00:13:36,528
Hey, do you wanna switch seats?
365
00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:38,009
- Why?
- Oh, it'll be fun.
366
00:13:38,013 --> 00:13:39,147
Oh...
367
00:13:40,317 --> 00:13:42,317
That's much better.
368
00:13:45,754 --> 00:13:46,721
He's funny, you guys.
369
00:13:46,746 --> 00:13:47,979
He's really funny.
370
00:13:47,992 --> 00:13:49,427
Yeah, just to be clear...
371
00:13:49,432 --> 00:13:51,467
you're not waiting for anyone?
372
00:13:51,447 --> 00:13:53,048
Like who? People?
373
00:13:53,046 --> 00:13:53,980
I don't know people.
374
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,307
No, no, no, I'm just saying...
375
00:13:56,277 --> 00:13:58,511
You and I are... on a date.
376
00:13:58,484 --> 00:13:59,384
Is that a question?
377
00:13:59,411 --> 00:14:01,313
No.
378
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,198
Obviously, we're on a date. Duh.
379
00:14:03,186 --> 00:14:04,319
First date, Gosh! Hoo!
380
00:14:04,337 --> 00:14:05,370
What can I tell you?
381
00:14:05,393 --> 00:14:07,627
Well, for starters, I'm a lawyer.
382
00:14:07,599 --> 00:14:09,600
Challenging, but very rewarding...
383
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:10,263
That's really great.
384
00:14:10,236 --> 00:14:11,336
Listen, I'm going to go to the bar
385
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:12,611
and get us some drinks...
What do you want, a Mai Tai?
386
00:14:12,557 --> 00:14:13,462
What? No, no, let me.
387
00:14:13,426 --> 00:14:15,122
I mean, I did ask you out...
388
00:14:15,116 --> 00:14:16,050
presumably.
389
00:14:16,075 --> 00:14:17,275
Oh, please, let me.
390
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:18,257
No, no, I insist.
391
00:14:18,282 --> 00:14:19,715
- Really, I want to.
- Yeah.
392
00:14:19,721 --> 00:14:22,523
Excuse me? Two Mai Tais.
393
00:14:22,472 --> 00:14:25,026
Fine. You buy the drinks.
394
00:14:26,054 --> 00:14:27,922
Is something wrong?
395
00:14:29,029 --> 00:14:31,564
No, no, no, everything's fine.
396
00:14:31,524 --> 00:14:33,024
Hey, look at that! It's
chair switching time!
397
00:14:33,027 --> 00:14:33,759
Let's go!
398
00:14:33,794 --> 00:14:35,795
Okay...
399
00:14:35,778 --> 00:14:37,112
See, this is fun!
400
00:14:37,122 --> 00:14:40,885
You know, I feel like maybe
this date isn't going so well.
401
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,813
Wow. Okay, here's a really silly question.
402
00:14:48,795 --> 00:14:50,829
Um... You're not insane, are you?
403
00:14:52,505 --> 00:14:54,454
No! No.
404
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:57,142
Um, but I do just casually
have to leave right now.
405
00:14:57,848 --> 00:14:59,908
- Uh...
- Bye!
406
00:15:00,470 --> 00:15:01,303
Wait, no, no...
407
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,500
Was it the kiss?
408
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:05,451
I was eating hummus earlier!
409
00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:10,721
Don't even try it.
410
00:15:11,248 --> 00:15:12,916
Guys, please!
411
00:15:12,911 --> 00:15:14,312
I cannot believe you left our date
412
00:15:14,319 --> 00:15:16,053
to chase after your ex-boyfriend!
413
00:15:16,046 --> 00:15:17,914
That part's not important.
414
00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:18,968
What's important
415
00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:21,858
is that our love triumphed over everything.
416
00:15:21,803 --> 00:15:24,372
I think I might be nauseous again.
417
00:15:24,939 --> 00:15:26,739
If I wasn't wearing a blindfold,
418
00:15:26,728 --> 00:15:28,530
I'd say you look a little "clammy."
419
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:41,285
Bottled...
420
00:15:41,272 --> 00:15:43,383
and packets... with a dash of mayonnaise.
421
00:15:43,296 --> 00:15:44,484
Nice try!
422
00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,649
Dammit, he's like the condiment whisperer.
423
00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:48,738
Well, you're kissing Kim.
424
00:15:48,756 --> 00:15:51,392
No... No, Ryan. Anything but that.
425
00:15:51,347 --> 00:15:52,447
I will lick a bathroom floor.
426
00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:54,268
I will suck French onion soup
427
00:15:54,259 --> 00:15:55,725
out of a homeless guy's beard.
428
00:15:55,729 --> 00:15:57,296
I will give you a kidney.
429
00:15:57,297 --> 00:15:59,231
This is ridiculous.
430
00:15:59,216 --> 00:16:02,143
Plenty of people would
want to kiss me, right?
431
00:16:02,735 --> 00:16:05,836
Oh, sure, yeah, go ahead.
Kiss some random guy.
432
00:16:05,773 --> 00:16:07,107
Wouldn't be the first time.
433
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:10,081
Well, you're the one who
was dating me by accident.
434
00:16:10,726 --> 00:16:11,996
Man...
435
00:16:11,944 --> 00:16:14,680
I can't believe how good
this story turned out!
436
00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:16,533
Though I still wonder
what happened to Melissa.
437
00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:21,057
Oh, I did everything I could
to keep her in the picture.
438
00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:22,134
You know, this broad
439
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,882
sounds loopy, Danny.
440
00:16:23,876 --> 00:16:25,109
You're lucky you didn't end up with her.
441
00:16:25,123 --> 00:16:26,623
I don't know.
442
00:16:26,626 --> 00:16:29,028
Yeah, she was kinda nuts, but...
443
00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:30,560
there was something about her.
444
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,128
Can we get back to what's important here?
445
00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:34,562
There's absolutely no
reason for me to be worried
446
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:35,426
about Allison going on a work trip
447
00:16:35,454 --> 00:16:37,589
with Richard, right?
448
00:16:37,566 --> 00:16:39,800
Why are they going on a work trip
449
00:16:39,772 --> 00:16:42,340
if they don't work together?
450
00:16:42,298 --> 00:16:43,866
Well, th...
451
00:16:43,866 --> 00:16:45,100
I'll ask.
452
00:16:45,114 --> 00:16:46,748
So...
453
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,745
what's next for you, Danny?
454
00:16:48,728 --> 00:16:50,395
You gonna head back down to the tea shop
455
00:16:50,391 --> 00:16:51,658
and take a run at the other chick?
456
00:16:51,671 --> 00:16:53,538
I can't do that.
457
00:16:53,526 --> 00:16:55,160
I just went on a date with her friend.
458
00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:56,957
So? She's nuts!
459
00:16:56,948 --> 00:16:58,749
For all she knows, she
was playing musical chairs
460
00:16:58,738 --> 00:17:01,707
with a Hawaiian dragon.
461
00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:04,652
Go for it, Danny! Take a chance on love.
462
00:17:04,592 --> 00:17:06,518
Like I did...
463
00:17:06,863 --> 00:17:08,163
with Allison.
464
00:17:08,175 --> 00:17:12,411
Ryan, you make a very... bad point...
465
00:17:12,301 --> 00:17:14,101
but I'm still gonna do it.
466
00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:16,893
Oh! Well, I guess you'll
be needing a new wingman.
467
00:17:16,842 --> 00:17:19,477
No. No wingmen.
468
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:20,633
Aw, come on, Danny!
469
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,048
Hell, I'll even take a bullet for ya
470
00:17:22,056 --> 00:17:24,291
and make out with the crazy one, huh?
471
00:17:24,262 --> 00:17:26,363
I hope she's a good kisser.
472
00:17:28,133 --> 00:17:31,067
Yeah, like I'd ever make out with Sheldon.
473
00:17:31,011 --> 00:17:33,279
Okay, Kim, let's do this.
474
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:34,484
No. No way.
475
00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:37,471
Ketchup contest rules dictate,
"no barricades allowed."
476
00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,383
That means lip to lip.
477
00:17:38,341 --> 00:17:39,315
Come on!
478
00:17:39,276 --> 00:17:40,930
Lip to lip.
479
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,560
So what happened next?
480
00:17:42,557 --> 00:17:44,892
Your plan to get Jesse
back was about to pay off...
481
00:17:44,861 --> 00:17:48,330
What? No. That plan was not gonna pay off.
482
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,250
So you settled for Danny,
483
00:17:49,274 --> 00:17:50,207
and you're waiting for
484
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:51,334
something better to come along.
485
00:17:51,353 --> 00:17:54,121
That's a sweet story.
486
00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,280
Hi.
487
00:17:57,303 --> 00:17:59,004
Let me try this again. Um...
488
00:17:58,998 --> 00:18:00,231
I'm Danny.
489
00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,980
Who?
490
00:18:01,972 --> 00:18:03,172
The vomit guy.
491
00:18:03,187 --> 00:18:05,503
Oh, yeah!
492
00:18:06,578 --> 00:18:07,778
Right, uh, listen,
493
00:18:07,794 --> 00:18:09,762
there was a small mix-up the other day,
494
00:18:09,744 --> 00:18:12,345
and, well, there's something
that I would like to ask you.
495
00:18:22,442 --> 00:18:23,208
Yes?
496
00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:25,965
Oh, um...
497
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,704
Could you grab me an Earl Grey?
498
00:18:33,061 --> 00:18:34,260
Hey...
499
00:18:34,276 --> 00:18:36,645
I'm surprised to see you after last night.
500
00:18:36,611 --> 00:18:39,447
Ah, don't worry about it.
I have had worse dates.
501
00:18:39,394 --> 00:18:42,480
- Really?
- No, not even close.
502
00:18:42,976 --> 00:18:45,378
Actually, I'm really glad you're here...
503
00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:47,811
I kinda wanted to apologize for everything.
504
00:18:47,774 --> 00:18:49,641
I was acting crazy.
505
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,996
No, you weren't.
506
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:51,971
Well, maybe...
507
00:18:51,996 --> 00:18:53,897
a lot.
508
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:56,318
Listen... can we pretend
that never happened
509
00:18:56,282 --> 00:18:57,549
and try it again?
510
00:18:57,561 --> 00:19:00,129
You mean a second date?
511
00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:01,555
More of a do-over?
512
00:19:01,559 --> 00:19:02,659
I'd like that.
513
00:19:04,118 --> 00:19:06,018
So, tell me about yourself!
514
00:19:06,005 --> 00:19:07,839
Do you have any family?
515
00:19:07,828 --> 00:19:09,462
Two brothers, actually.
516
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:11,027
That's nice! Are you guys close?
517
00:19:11,027 --> 00:19:12,575
Not really.
518
00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:16,271
You knew Melissa was gonna say no,
519
00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:17,741
so you took what you could get.
520
00:19:17,744 --> 00:19:21,045
No! I wanted Kim.
521
00:19:20,974 --> 00:19:22,208
To be fair, there's a good chance
522
00:19:22,222 --> 00:19:23,822
Melissa would have said no.
523
00:19:23,821 --> 00:19:25,121
That's not the point.
524
00:19:25,132 --> 00:19:26,199
Look...
525
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:29,021
the second I saw Kim, I knew...
526
00:19:28,970 --> 00:19:31,338
I would rather have another
horrible date with her
527
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,905
than a great date with anyone else.
528
00:19:32,904 --> 00:19:34,104
Aw...
529
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,461
So did I.
530
00:19:36,695 --> 00:19:38,662
Ew!
531
00:19:40,101 --> 00:19:41,401
You know what? Scratch it.
532
00:19:41,412 --> 00:19:42,779
You don't have to kiss her.
533
00:19:42,788 --> 00:19:44,889
Yeah, I could never go in
there after my own brother.
534
00:19:44,867 --> 00:19:46,768
That's disgusting.
535
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:48,521
You know, why don't I just
buy you a beer instead?
536
00:19:48,513 --> 00:19:49,780
Yes! A beer.
537
00:19:49,792 --> 00:19:51,360
Why didn't we just bet that to begin with?
538
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:53,660
Uh, waitress, a beer, please.
539
00:19:53,629 --> 00:19:55,539
And I brought my own mug.
540
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:59,392
Oh, no, no... that's clean.
541
00:20:04,083 --> 00:20:05,716
Saw your "help wanted" sign.
542
00:20:05,714 --> 00:20:08,582
Can I get an application
form and a Vodka Red Bull?
543
00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:10,462
Um... this isn't a bar.
544
00:20:10,447 --> 00:20:13,416
So if I worked here, I
wouldn't get free drinks?
545
00:20:13,358 --> 00:20:16,284
You'd get a 15% discount on tea.
546
00:20:16,556 --> 00:20:18,090
What about the benefits?
547
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:19,993
Do I have to use a
registered massage therapist,
548
00:20:19,979 --> 00:20:21,146
or can I use my guy?
549
00:20:21,163 --> 00:20:22,496
He knows how I like it.
550
00:20:22,506 --> 00:20:25,374
This is a retail job.
There are no benefits.
551
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,954
I don't know what kind of employees
552
00:20:26,951 --> 00:20:28,219
you're trying to attract,
553
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:29,930
but good luck.
554
00:20:33,156 --> 00:20:34,490
Yes?
555
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,534
My Vodka Red Bull?
556
00:20:36,515 --> 00:20:38,949
This isn't a bar!
557
00:20:38,913 --> 00:20:41,648
Fine. Last time I'm
walking into this place.
558
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,619
Like I'd hire you.
559
00:20:43,669 --> 00:20:48,219
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