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1
00:00:08,044 --> 00:00:09,478
Are you
kidding me?
2
00:00:10,988 --> 00:00:13,522
I give you
permission to die.
3
00:00:14,412 --> 00:00:15,578
Eat my shorts!
4
00:00:16,715 --> 00:00:18,681
Timeout! Untied shoelace!
5
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,336
Unsafe playing conditions.
6
00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:24,285
Hey! You can't shoot a guy
on a timeout.
7
00:00:24,202 --> 00:00:25,968
Oh, really? Let me look that up
8
00:00:25,897 --> 00:00:28,765
in the Geneva
underwear convention.
9
00:00:28,649 --> 00:00:30,515
Danny, you're the lawyer!
Tell him.
10
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:33,073
Sheldon, I'm gonna have to
rule with Ryan on this one.
11
00:00:35,175 --> 00:00:36,375
That is low! You dog!
12
00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:43,855
Is this a bad time?
13
00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:45,902
Oops!
14
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:48,828
We're doing laundry.
15
00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:51,042
Okay.
16
00:00:53,539 --> 00:00:54,839
We're playing
"under-wars."
17
00:00:54,787 --> 00:00:56,821
We've been playing this
since we were kids.
18
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:58,606
It makes laundry day
way fun!
19
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,678
Cool. Can I play?
20
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,368
Uh...
21
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:09,360
Uh, that's not even
a machine gun.
22
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,322
We had these custom-built.
23
00:01:13,217 --> 00:01:17,052
I'd like to introduce you
to "the sheldonator 5.0."
24
00:01:19,966 --> 00:01:21,500
What did I do?
25
00:01:21,438 --> 00:01:23,805
Nothing.
That's why it's funny.
26
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:26,277
That was
a quick six hours.
27
00:01:26,174 --> 00:01:27,640
When are we gonna do
the actual laundry?
28
00:01:27,581 --> 00:01:30,182
You mean
these are dirty?
29
00:01:30,077 --> 00:01:32,077
Why would we use clean ones?
30
00:01:31,997 --> 00:01:33,562
This is war.
31
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,665
Ew!
32
00:01:35,706 --> 00:01:37,740
I'm gonna
go wash my hands.
33
00:01:39,194 --> 00:01:41,195
Can I borrow
your underwear?
34
00:01:41,114 --> 00:01:43,848
I'm out of ammo.
35
00:01:43,738 --> 00:01:45,505
What if I'm not
wearing any?
36
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:49,608
Wow. She's no fun.
37
00:01:49,496 --> 00:01:52,598
All right, guys.
Girlfriend's here. Game over.
38
00:01:52,473 --> 00:01:55,707
I thought
I taught you better.
39
00:01:55,576 --> 00:01:57,843
Actually, you did.
40
00:01:59,094 --> 00:02:03,331
Say hello
to my little tighty-whities.
41
00:02:03,159 --> 00:02:05,859
No-o-o-o-o-o-o!
42
00:02:12,787 --> 00:02:13,820
You cheated.
43
00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:15,347
That can't count.
44
00:02:15,284 --> 00:02:17,684
All's fair in love
and under-war.
45
00:02:26,591 --> 00:02:30,099
sync and corrections by dreaMaker7
www.MY-SUBS.com
46
00:02:34,736 --> 00:02:35,768
Well?
47
00:02:35,728 --> 00:02:37,428
It tastes like...
48
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,694
Tea.
49
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:43,635
But would you describe it
as earthy, or smoky,
50
00:02:43,471 --> 00:02:44,937
perhaps playful?
51
00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:47,413
Yeah, I would describe it as...
52
00:02:47,310 --> 00:02:50,143
Tea.
53
00:02:50,029 --> 00:02:51,962
Try sucking in air
when you sip.
54
00:02:51,884 --> 00:02:53,484
Watch.
55
00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:18,101
Well?
56
00:03:18,056 --> 00:03:19,856
Tea.
57
00:03:21,383 --> 00:03:23,783
Avery Jones
is coming to my tea-tasting!
58
00:03:23,687 --> 00:03:25,553
That's great.
59
00:03:25,478 --> 00:03:27,612
Who is he?
60
00:03:27,526 --> 00:03:30,594
Only the most influential
tea blogger in the universe.
61
00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,103
Have you been living
under a rock?
62
00:03:32,038 --> 00:03:34,471
Well, I try to stay informed.
63
00:03:34,373 --> 00:03:37,173
He heard that I was serving
the rarest tea in the world,
64
00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,626
"golden monk."
65
00:03:38,563 --> 00:03:40,930
But I'm having trouble smuggling
it out of Tibet.
66
00:03:40,835 --> 00:03:43,002
You don't think bribery
is wrong, do you?
67
00:03:42,915 --> 00:03:45,549
Not for a cause this important.
68
00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:47,810
So what now,
more tea tasting?
69
00:03:47,714 --> 00:03:49,648
Unfortunately, you're hopeless.
70
00:03:49,571 --> 00:03:51,469
But a good sport.
71
00:03:51,393 --> 00:03:53,360
A reward of some kind
is in order.
72
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,563
Forget it.
Just rip it.
73
00:04:07,518 --> 00:04:10,853
Wait!
It's a $30 shirt.
74
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,217
Really?
75
00:04:12,157 --> 00:04:14,591
Okay, fine,
just rip it.
76
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,354
Yeah, I don't know if it was the
slurping or the spitting,
77
00:04:17,308 --> 00:04:20,276
but I am so turned on
right now!
78
00:04:20,156 --> 00:04:22,422
And yet
you're still talking.
79
00:04:33,561 --> 00:04:37,263
"All's fair in love
and under-wars."
80
00:04:37,113 --> 00:04:38,212
Oh, man!
81
00:04:38,169 --> 00:04:41,470
Sheldon and Ryan
are getting me back.
82
00:04:41,336 --> 00:04:44,603
And these are the men
that raised you?
83
00:04:44,471 --> 00:04:45,871
You okay?
84
00:04:45,815 --> 00:04:47,648
Yeah, just some water
in my ears.
85
00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:48,641
It's my fault.
86
00:04:48,599 --> 00:04:49,965
I insisted on condoms,
87
00:04:49,911 --> 00:04:52,378
when, clearly, I should've
brought a sponge.
88
00:04:52,278 --> 00:04:56,713
You know, I've never
done it in a pool before.
89
00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:58,600
Seriously?
90
00:04:58,517 --> 00:05:00,650
I mean--
neither have I.
91
00:05:03,539 --> 00:05:06,441
I just
had a wild idea.
92
00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:08,589
Yeah, I'm having
a bunch of those.
93
00:05:08,498 --> 00:05:10,865
I know exactly
how to get them back.
94
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,575
Can you speak up?
95
00:05:17,522 --> 00:05:19,187
My ears are plugged.
96
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,688
What do you mean,
you lost it?
97
00:05:21,585 --> 00:05:23,484
That tea has to
be here by Thursday!
98
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,308
Hello? Hello!
99
00:05:26,191 --> 00:05:27,323
Argh!
100
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:28,345
What happened?
101
00:05:28,303 --> 00:05:29,569
I don't know!
102
00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:31,552
Either he shipped
it to Australia,
103
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,637
or he's coming down
with malaria.
104
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:38,020
Hey, Danny.
You're looking refreshed.
105
00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,900
Nothing like
a midnight swim, right?
106
00:05:41,004 --> 00:05:42,771
Just so you know,
107
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:45,801
I built that pool myself
and supplied the rubber ducky.
108
00:05:45,675 --> 00:05:47,742
You still have it,
right?
109
00:05:47,659 --> 00:05:49,292
I need that back.
110
00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:52,395
You forgot to check
for innocent bystanders.
111
00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:53,699
Did I? Because
I'm pretty sure I put
112
00:05:53,642 --> 00:05:56,309
an extra flotation device
under the duvet.
113
00:05:56,201 --> 00:05:58,368
What? Who's
going to a play?
114
00:05:58,281 --> 00:06:01,315
She can't hear
very well.
115
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:02,893
She's got water
in her ears.
116
00:06:02,825 --> 00:06:05,225
You're ruining
my brother's life!
117
00:06:05,128 --> 00:06:08,763
Oh, sorry, I didn't hear that,
my ears just popped. What?
118
00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:11,883
Oh. You're ruining
my brother's life.
119
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,550
Sit down.
120
00:06:13,478 --> 00:06:15,178
It's Margarita night.
121
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:17,443
In these conveniently-placed
chairs?
122
00:06:17,349 --> 00:06:18,548
What are we, stupid?
123
00:06:18,501 --> 00:06:20,301
We'll take yours.
124
00:06:20,229 --> 00:06:22,729
Can they be serious?
125
00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:23,828
Just humor them.
126
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:29,884
Here. Have some chips.
127
00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:30,926
Uh, no, thanks.
128
00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:32,783
We brought our own.
129
00:06:34,432 --> 00:06:37,200
Paranoid much?
130
00:06:37,089 --> 00:06:38,289
No, actually, I always
bring my own chips.
131
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:40,374
There's so many additives.
132
00:06:40,289 --> 00:06:44,558
Yeah, and your boyfriend here
isn't exactly trustworthy.
133
00:06:44,384 --> 00:06:47,185
I still keep
my shoes in a safe.
134
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,204
Why?
135
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:49,325
Inside joke.
136
00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,011
Yeah. You wouldn't
get it.
137
00:06:50,942 --> 00:06:52,842
Try me.
138
00:06:52,766 --> 00:06:54,599
A couple of years ago,
I stole Ryan's shoes
139
00:06:54,526 --> 00:06:57,494
and kept switching them
for larger sizes.
140
00:06:57,374 --> 00:06:59,674
He thought his feet
were shrinking.
141
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:02,553
Okay, that was not funny.
142
00:07:02,493 --> 00:07:03,992
Do you know how many
diseases pop up
143
00:07:03,932 --> 00:07:05,730
when you Google
"shrinking feet"?
144
00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:10,359
You know, I've pulled
a few pranks in my day.
145
00:07:10,234 --> 00:07:12,168
Oh, really?
146
00:07:12,091 --> 00:07:13,156
Oh, yeah.
147
00:07:14,715 --> 00:07:17,048
When I sold
girl scout cookies,
148
00:07:16,954 --> 00:07:19,989
I would sometimes
remove a cookie first!
149
00:07:30,006 --> 00:07:31,806
And then what?
150
00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:35,013
I'd eat the cookie.
151
00:07:36,148 --> 00:07:39,150
Wow. You got them!
152
00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:40,562
Right, guys?
153
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:42,768
Oh, man, huh?
That was scorching.
154
00:07:43,891 --> 00:07:47,159
Whoa! Huh.
This is odd.
155
00:07:47,027 --> 00:07:49,595
I just got a text from
Ryan's toothbrush.
156
00:07:49,492 --> 00:07:51,291
It looks like he took
157
00:07:51,219 --> 00:07:53,052
a little vacation
last night.
158
00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:58,195
Look, look, here he is,
posing on a bus bench.
159
00:07:58,065 --> 00:08:00,266
Oh, yeah.
Look, there he is,
160
00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:01,844
drinking water
out of a doggie bowl
161
00:08:01,777 --> 00:08:03,543
at the dog park.
162
00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:04,806
How did he get there?
163
00:08:04,753 --> 00:08:05,919
Oh, my God!
Let me see that.
164
00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:07,805
What? He's at
the train station!
165
00:08:07,727 --> 00:08:09,794
But how?
That's impossible!
166
00:08:09,711 --> 00:08:12,679
I brushed my teeth...
This morning! Oh, my God!
167
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:15,159
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh-ahh-ahh.
Ahh! Ahh!
168
00:08:18,925 --> 00:08:22,293
Wait. So you and Sheldon
pranked Ryan?
169
00:08:22,157 --> 00:08:24,757
That doesn't even make sense.
170
00:08:24,652 --> 00:08:26,986
Well, maybe we should
all stop laughing, then.
171
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,611
Ohh. You know,
maybe I shouldn't laugh,
172
00:08:32,523 --> 00:08:35,157
but this is just
so easy, right?
173
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:49,169
4:00! Hot blonde
is checking you out.
174
00:08:52,518 --> 00:08:55,520
"Hell" followed very quickly
by "oh"...
175
00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:00,759
...is "hello."
176
00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,444
If you'll excuse me.
177
00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:07,003
Don't forget to smile.
178
00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:12,785
So Ryan and Sheldon
prank you,
179
00:09:12,676 --> 00:09:14,142
but Sheldon was in on
pranking Ryan.
180
00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,416
Were you in
on the Margarita thing?
181
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,623
I don't even know anymore.
182
00:09:18,531 --> 00:09:20,297
Ahem.
183
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,160
I almost left my drink
with you guys.
184
00:09:23,041 --> 00:09:24,106
Close call.
185
00:09:34,906 --> 00:09:36,179
Oh, if that's Ryan,
186
00:09:36,129 --> 00:09:38,762
tell him I'll give him
the duck back tomorrow.
187
00:09:43,673 --> 00:09:45,097
Where's my phone?
188
00:09:48,513 --> 00:09:51,179
Hey! It's cold!
189
00:09:52,703 --> 00:09:54,670
I can't find my phone!
190
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:58,177
It's probably about my tea.
191
00:10:09,916 --> 00:10:11,215
Holy crap!
192
00:10:11,164 --> 00:10:12,163
I know.
193
00:10:12,124 --> 00:10:14,057
This is awesome!
194
00:10:17,723 --> 00:10:19,290
Ooh, I gotta find
that phone!
195
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,892
Hey-hey!
196
00:10:20,826 --> 00:10:22,226
Is that my phone?
197
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:24,269
No, Ryan wrapped up
the first-aid kit,
198
00:10:24,185 --> 00:10:26,419
just in case
I got a paper cut.
199
00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:30,296
Great.
200
00:10:30,232 --> 00:10:31,465
Now I don't know
where my tea is.
201
00:10:31,416 --> 00:10:33,750
When do these
stupid pranks end?
202
00:10:33,656 --> 00:10:36,490
Typically, after one of us
goes to the emergency room.
203
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,308
If I send you
to the emergency room,
204
00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:40,030
will that end this?
205
00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:41,991
Come on, honey,
it's just fun.
206
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:44,076
No! It's cruel.
207
00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:46,256
But that's just
how we say "I love you"
208
00:10:46,165 --> 00:10:49,800
without having to say
the uncomfortable parts.
209
00:10:49,653 --> 00:10:52,420
I'm sick of you guys
having all the fun
210
00:10:52,308 --> 00:10:53,741
while I get caught
in the crossfire.
211
00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:54,783
What do you
want me to do?
212
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,372
Tell them
to knock it off?
213
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,441
Oh, yeah, that'll
make me popular.
214
00:10:58,355 --> 00:11:00,455
Well, then you're just
going to have to accept
215
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:02,570
this is what brothers do.
216
00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:03,848
Hold on.
217
00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:06,895
Oh, I see Ryan
in all of this.
218
00:11:06,769 --> 00:11:09,036
Sheldon wouldn't know
how to curl a ribbon.
219
00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:11,412
Be very careful.
220
00:11:13,614 --> 00:11:16,083
The wrapping may not
be the whole prank...
221
00:11:15,984 --> 00:11:18,852
What's in the wrapping
might be the prank.
222
00:11:18,736 --> 00:11:20,669
You hear that?
That's a text.
223
00:11:20,591 --> 00:11:23,158
My whole business
relies on that text.
224
00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:29,238
Got it!
225
00:11:34,604 --> 00:11:36,671
"Dear miss mattingly,
226
00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:37,921
"your package
has been located.
227
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:39,434
"We apologize
for any inconvenience
228
00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:41,503
"and will be shipping it
at our own expense
229
00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:44,352
back to you... in Tibet."
230
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:45,499
Uh-oh.
231
00:11:45,449 --> 00:11:47,016
It's okay.
At least they found it.
232
00:11:47,945 --> 00:11:49,211
Might still
get here in time.
233
00:11:49,161 --> 00:11:51,662
No, I think
I found the real prank.
234
00:11:53,735 --> 00:11:56,203
Okay, very slowly,
go to the kitchen...
235
00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:58,637
And see
if you can find anything
236
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,168
that looks like a long pole
237
00:12:00,103 --> 00:12:02,669
with a hook on the end.
238
00:12:11,203 --> 00:12:14,239
Okay, we got your
high-pitched girlish message.
239
00:12:16,099 --> 00:12:17,700
Are you really
throwing in the towel?
240
00:12:20,962 --> 00:12:23,797
Five hours
in the emergency room, boys.
241
00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:26,416
Yes! We won!
242
00:12:26,306 --> 00:12:29,007
You know, I had that thing
bathed and deloused.
243
00:12:28,898 --> 00:12:30,363
I should've
had it de-fanged.
244
00:12:30,304 --> 00:12:33,205
It's like pranking
with your mother.
245
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,268
Come on,
I'll buy you lunch.
246
00:12:37,951 --> 00:12:39,719
Oh, hey, Danny.
247
00:12:39,648 --> 00:12:40,880
Hey, Millie.
248
00:12:40,831 --> 00:12:42,029
You have a brother
named Sheldon, right?
249
00:12:41,982 --> 00:12:44,016
Yeah. I'm Sheldon.
250
00:12:43,934 --> 00:12:45,200
I'm with social services.
251
00:12:45,150 --> 00:12:46,616
This young man
ran away from home
252
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,959
and ended up in my custody.
253
00:12:48,862 --> 00:12:50,561
He says he's looking
254
00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:52,960
for a Sheldon white
who was in belleville in 2001.
255
00:12:52,861 --> 00:12:55,628
Yeah, I was selling
sauna slimming pants.
256
00:12:58,298 --> 00:13:00,199
Now, wait a minute. If this
is about that settlement,
257
00:13:00,123 --> 00:13:02,290
the court said
that I am not responsible
258
00:13:02,203 --> 00:13:04,837
for any fertility issues.
259
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,297
Well, maybe you were.
260
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:08,801
This boy says he's your son.
261
00:13:08,697 --> 00:13:11,865
Okay. Nice try, bro.
262
00:13:11,737 --> 00:13:14,104
Oldest prank
in the book.
263
00:13:14,009 --> 00:13:15,574
Hey, it wasn't me.
264
00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:17,645
You swear
on your vinyl collection?
265
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,693
Yeah, I swear.
266
00:13:18,648 --> 00:13:20,280
Okay. And what about you?
267
00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:21,415
Do you swear on
your wedding photo
268
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,034
of you and Alison?
269
00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,067
The one she cut me out of,
or the one of both of us?
270
00:13:24,983 --> 00:13:25,949
Either.
271
00:13:25,911 --> 00:13:27,410
I swear.
272
00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:29,015
Well, if you guys didn't...
273
00:13:28,949 --> 00:13:29,915
Then that means--
274
00:13:31,668 --> 00:13:33,069
my son!
275
00:13:33,014 --> 00:13:35,180
Oh, ho, ho!
276
00:13:35,092 --> 00:13:35,958
Oh, ho, ho!
277
00:13:35,925 --> 00:13:37,791
Surprise!
278
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:39,216
Hah. I got ya!
279
00:13:40,339 --> 00:13:41,539
Whoo!
280
00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:44,504
Got ya?
281
00:13:44,434 --> 00:13:47,002
How come no one's laughing?
282
00:13:46,899 --> 00:13:48,031
This is a prank?
283
00:13:47,986 --> 00:13:50,253
Are you saying
he's not my son?
284
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,128
I'm not
his fun-loving Uncle?
285
00:13:55,247 --> 00:13:57,315
Okay, see, this is the part
286
00:13:57,232 --> 00:13:59,900
where you're all supposed to be
relieved, because it's a prank.
287
00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:01,759
Close one, huh?
288
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,846
That's not funny.
289
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,258
It's cruel!
290
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,547
I don't get it. Danny?
291
00:14:10,446 --> 00:14:13,247
Sheldon had a girlfriend
that walked out on him.
292
00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:14,333
He always suspected
293
00:14:14,285 --> 00:14:16,085
it was because
she was pregnant.
294
00:14:16,013 --> 00:14:17,512
We've been looking
for years.
295
00:14:17,453 --> 00:14:20,021
How was I supposed to
know that?
296
00:14:19,917 --> 00:14:23,017
Because it's your job
to know that.
297
00:14:22,892 --> 00:14:26,460
We don't just pull pranks
Willy-nilly.
298
00:14:26,315 --> 00:14:29,249
It takes work, planning,
meticulous attention to detail.
299
00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,464
Safety first, Kimberly!
300
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,136
What's
wrong with you?
301
00:14:40,744 --> 00:14:43,145
In a different context,
it might have been funny.
302
00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:53,027
So, golden monk,
miss mattingly.
303
00:14:52,904 --> 00:14:54,503
Impressive.
304
00:14:54,439 --> 00:14:56,505
I've only had it once--
305
00:14:56,422 --> 00:14:59,357
on a rainy night
in Singapore.
306
00:14:59,238 --> 00:15:01,571
And today
you'll have it again.
307
00:15:01,477 --> 00:15:03,077
It'll be here
in a minute.
308
00:15:03,014 --> 00:15:04,447
In the meantime,
309
00:15:04,390 --> 00:15:05,889
why don't you check out
our collection of tea pots?
310
00:15:05,829 --> 00:15:07,294
Miss mattingly,
311
00:15:07,236 --> 00:15:08,969
I'm up to my ass
in tea pots.
312
00:15:12,057 --> 00:15:14,125
You came!
313
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:17,110
Well, you know me
and tea-tastings.
314
00:15:16,986 --> 00:15:18,952
I thought you'd be
with Sheldon tonight.
315
00:15:18,873 --> 00:15:21,006
Yeah, he wanted
to be alone.
316
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,854
I'm so sorry.
317
00:15:23,736 --> 00:15:25,303
What were you thinking?
318
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,607
You guys always seem to
be having so much fun,
319
00:15:28,471 --> 00:15:30,304
and then I walk in.
320
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,230
It's like you have
your own little club
321
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:34,017
and I'm not a member.
322
00:15:33,942 --> 00:15:36,174
Yeah, it's
a penis-only club.
323
00:15:37,524 --> 00:15:39,892
As irritating
as your brothers are,
324
00:15:39,797 --> 00:15:42,465
I just want
their acceptance.
325
00:15:42,357 --> 00:15:44,590
Well, you got to
give it time.
326
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:47,634
A lot of time.
327
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,482
It's here!
328
00:15:52,573 --> 00:15:54,441
Thank you!
329
00:15:56,668 --> 00:15:59,004
Attention, everyone.
330
00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:01,476
The finest tea in the world
has arrived.
331
00:16:01,372 --> 00:16:03,673
I give you... golden monk.
332
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:07,153
That doesn't look
like golden monk.
333
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:11,102
Unless that boy
in Singapore lied to me.
334
00:16:10,938 --> 00:16:12,838
Yeah, what is this?
335
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:15,062
Police!
Everyone stay where you are.
336
00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:16,437
Who's Kim Mattingly?
337
00:16:16,378 --> 00:16:18,744
This one.
338
00:16:18,649 --> 00:16:19,615
Ma'am, I'm placing you
under arrest
339
00:16:19,577 --> 00:16:20,775
for trafficking in marijuana.
340
00:16:20,728 --> 00:16:23,296
This isn't marijuana!
341
00:16:23,192 --> 00:16:25,458
Whoa. That is
some strong weed.
342
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:27,501
Kim, don't say
another word.
343
00:16:27,415 --> 00:16:29,181
I'm her lawyer.
344
00:16:29,111 --> 00:16:30,444
Oh, good, 'cause
she's gonna need one.
345
00:16:30,391 --> 00:16:32,057
Turn around, place your
hands behind your back.
346
00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:33,924
This can't be happening!
This can't be happening!
347
00:16:33,847 --> 00:16:36,313
Now, that's
a "got ya."
348
00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:43,478
Oh, my God, you should
see your face.
349
00:16:45,236 --> 00:16:46,669
Or not.
350
00:16:49,171 --> 00:16:50,970
For the record,
I had nothing to do with this.
351
00:16:50,898 --> 00:16:53,532
Wait a minute...
352
00:16:53,426 --> 00:16:55,994
You destroyed a crucial event,
353
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,956
that could very well
make or break my business,
354
00:16:57,873 --> 00:16:59,206
to play a joke on me?
355
00:17:03,919 --> 00:17:05,820
That is so sweet!
356
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,829
But why?
357
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:12,300
I thought
you guys hated me.
358
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,405
Well... yeah.
359
00:17:14,318 --> 00:17:18,454
But that kid-thing
you pulled was priceless.
360
00:17:18,286 --> 00:17:19,218
I mean, no one's gotten
Sheldon that good,
361
00:17:19,182 --> 00:17:20,515
since the prank war
of '07,
362
00:17:20,462 --> 00:17:22,695
when we told him our parents
were still alive.
363
00:17:23,915 --> 00:17:25,283
I cried like a baby.
364
00:17:25,228 --> 00:17:28,563
Your emotionally
crippling prank
365
00:17:28,428 --> 00:17:29,793
kind of earned
our respect.
366
00:17:29,739 --> 00:17:31,706
Yeah, and I even
have to admit,
367
00:17:31,627 --> 00:17:33,827
you finally grew
a little sack-ette.
368
00:17:36,618 --> 00:17:39,051
I mean,
it seemed so real.
369
00:17:38,953 --> 00:17:40,586
Oh, it is real.
370
00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:41,486
All these
are real cops.
371
00:17:41,448 --> 00:17:43,181
See, I met Jack here
372
00:17:43,112 --> 00:17:46,414
when he removed Ryan from
his ex-wife's property.
373
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,214
And just to make sure
every detail was authentic,
374
00:17:49,096 --> 00:17:50,596
I even went out
and found real pot--
375
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:54,637
medicinal, fair-trade
and organic.
376
00:17:54,471 --> 00:17:56,904
So you're saying
this is actual marijuana?
377
00:17:56,806 --> 00:17:58,907
Of course.
378
00:17:58,822 --> 00:18:01,355
Well, I hate to say this,
379
00:18:01,253 --> 00:18:03,220
but I really am
going to have to arrest you.
380
00:18:03,141 --> 00:18:04,273
Now, wait
a minute, Jack.
381
00:18:04,228 --> 00:18:06,162
This was a prank.
382
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,117
You're all in possession
with intent to distribute.
383
00:18:08,035 --> 00:18:09,568
Everyone,
assume the position.
384
00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:11,140
Come on, officer.
385
00:18:11,075 --> 00:18:12,742
I know how
this goes down.
386
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,709
I'm sure we can do something
to work this out.
387
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,293
And now we can add bribery.
388
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:24,784
I was never here.
389
00:18:30,271 --> 00:18:31,972
Well, spending the night
in jail,
390
00:18:31,904 --> 00:18:33,937
that wasn't too humiliating.
391
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:35,054
On the upside,
392
00:18:35,007 --> 00:18:37,275
I landed a new client.
393
00:18:37,184 --> 00:18:40,617
Yeah, she was cute.
I, uh, I got her number.
394
00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:45,794
Sheldon, she sold her
last boyfriend's kidney.
395
00:18:45,629 --> 00:18:48,630
So I'll put her
in the "maybe" file.
396
00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:52,010
All I know is, thank God
you knew the judge and his wife.
397
00:18:51,868 --> 00:18:55,368
And the cross-dresser
he sees on Fridays.
398
00:18:56,313 --> 00:18:58,948
Who's up
for underwear-wars?
399
00:18:58,842 --> 00:19:00,041
That doesn't even
make any sense.
400
00:18:59,993 --> 00:19:01,893
It's not laundry day.
401
00:19:01,817 --> 00:19:04,352
Yeah. Try and stay with us
here, Kim.
402
00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:06,640
What did I do?
403
00:19:06,585 --> 00:19:08,152
Nothing.
404
00:19:08,089 --> 00:19:10,821
That's why it's funny.
405
00:19:15,037 --> 00:19:16,571
That was a blow-out.
406
00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:18,076
Sheldon, you owe me
20 bucks.
407
00:19:18,013 --> 00:19:19,346
Ah, put it on my tab.
408
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:21,059
Meaning I'm not
gonna get it?
409
00:19:20,989 --> 00:19:22,422
Exactly.
410
00:19:22,365 --> 00:19:25,699
Well, boys, what do
you want to do now?
411
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,264
I don't know,
want to play the spoon game?
412
00:19:27,196 --> 00:19:28,929
I'd love to play
the spoon game.
413
00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,659
Wait. What's
the spoon game?
414
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:31,920
Seriously?
415
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,066
You don't know
what the spoon game is?
416
00:19:33,018 --> 00:19:34,751
I mean, I know
what the spoon game is,
417
00:19:34,682 --> 00:19:37,249
but someone should
explain it to Kim.
418
00:19:37,146 --> 00:19:38,613
It's simple.
419
00:19:38,554 --> 00:19:39,986
Put the spoon
in your mouth,
420
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,929
and hit me on the head,
as hard as you can,
421
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,348
like this.
422
00:19:43,288 --> 00:19:46,322
Well, that's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
423
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,034
Sounds easy. Me first.
424
00:19:50,936 --> 00:19:54,137
Not bad. My turn.
425
00:19:58,292 --> 00:19:59,692
How did you do that?
426
00:19:59,637 --> 00:20:01,938
Practice.
It's all in the jaw.
427
00:20:08,403 --> 00:20:10,336
Easy.
It's a friendly game.
428
00:20:10,259 --> 00:20:11,559
Be careful.
429
00:20:16,530 --> 00:20:17,663
Son of a--
430
00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:18,950
okay, you're doing something.
431
00:20:18,898 --> 00:20:20,297
Go sit over there!
432
00:20:20,241 --> 00:20:22,475
It wasn't me, bro. Come on!
433
00:20:23,727 --> 00:20:25,329
- Okay.
- Ready?
434
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,131
Yup.
435
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,833
Better!
436
00:20:31,883 --> 00:20:36,433
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