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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,457 Hah! Hah! 4 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,285 Aah! 5 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,113 Uhh! 6 00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,244 Lost some money, huh? 7 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:56,812 No. No, no, no. They stole it. 8 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,379 Took the entire shipment. 9 00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,772 And I'm Mary fucking Poppins. 10 00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,470 Okay, look, we can get half. 11 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:06,169 How about you let me go and we'll go for a little w... 12 00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,431 Ow! 13 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,090 J-Joey. 14 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,180 Joey! 15 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,667 What's up, buddy? 16 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,016 Lakey boy, 17 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:28,844 how's my number 1 nephew doing? 18 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,542 Actually, I'm just, uh, pulling up to the gym. 19 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,023 I got to get my pump on for this movie, man. 20 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,895 I might do one of those veggie cleanses. 21 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,897 I got to get cock-ease over this fucker. 22 00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,571 So you getting ready to be a big movie star, huh? 23 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,162 Yes, sir. 24 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:45,991 Hey, uh, Lake, excuse me for just a second, okay? 25 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,645 Hold on just a minute. 26 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,647 Ow! 27 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:50,996 What was that? 28 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,346 Are you in the bathroom? 29 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,348 No. 30 00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:56,219 It's just TV, man, you know? 31 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,352 It's, uh, it's one of those bad B movies. 32 00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,354 Lowlifes lose some money, try to get it back. 33 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,659 Torture scene. 34 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,792 Two heavies, and the tough guy 35 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:04,967 rough him up a bit. 36 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:05,968 Pretty good, though. 37 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,100 Ah. B movies. Love 'em. 38 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,276 Ah, that's good. 39 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:12,888 So, uh, Lakey, my investment. 40 00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,150 Mmm. 41 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,369 It's safe, right? 42 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:17,284 Yes. And actually, I just wanted to tell you 43 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,547 thank you so much for lending us this 100,000 44 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,070 to make this movie. It's huge. 45 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,985 Lakey, you are my number 1 nephew, 46 00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,030 and this is your comeback, so... 47 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,834 I know, and I wanted to take this opportunity 48 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,644 to... to let you know how sincerely 49 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,167 indebted I am to you, 50 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,821 and I'm going to bring you a sequel 51 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,344 from a great script. 52 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,172 I want you to keep investing in me 53 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,435 and in my career. I... Shut up. 54 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,132 I didn't call you for all that shit, okay? 55 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,699 I need a couple favors. 56 00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:43,223 Whatever you need, J-man. 57 00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,267 Yeah. Exactly. 58 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,834 Now listen, I'm going to be away 59 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:47,662 for a couple of days on business. 60 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,403 I want you to stay at the house, 61 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:50,665 keep everything cool. 62 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,077 The caterer will be there tomorrow morning 63 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:53,885 around 10 a.m. to start setting things up 64 00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,235 for Piper's birthday party. 65 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,932 You tell my little sweetheart I love her. 66 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:58,368 I'm sorry I'm going to miss it, 67 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,283 but she knows that Daddy's going to get her 68 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,371 one hell of a present. 69 00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,981 Okay? 70 00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:04,809 Hey, Lakey. 71 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,811 Lakey, you still there? 72 00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:07,919 Hey, are you drinking a beer? 73 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,118 No. 74 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,511 You know how your cousin gets 75 00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:11,816 around the booze. 76 00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,690 67, 68, 69, 70! 77 00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:18,475 Whoo! 78 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,435 Make sure she keeps her nose clean, Lakey, 79 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,001 - you hear me? - Got it. 80 00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,264 I paid 10 grand 81 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,353 for one month of rehab last summer. 82 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,311 If you ask me, that place was more 83 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,139 like a freakin' spa resort. 84 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,446 Who's the director for this movie? 85 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,925 My good friend Billy Sham. 86 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:38,495 The rapper Billy Sham? 87 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:41,193 He don't do that shit no more. 88 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,717 He's legit now. 89 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,763 He retired the fucking periwinkle blue Hammer pants, man. 90 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,243 What about the, uh, the hot chick? 91 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,916 Because every movie's got to have a hot chick. 92 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,594 Lena Starr. Hot young actress. 93 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:51,813 She's up and coming. 94 00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:52,988 Isn't that the one 95 00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,859 from the Haug's Jr. Commercial? 96 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:07,350 Makes me crave that sweet, sweet roast beef. 97 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,526 Uh-huh. 98 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:10,832 And $100,000. 99 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,834 Yep. 100 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,792 My investment in your comeback, Lakey, 101 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,359 my money 102 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,318 is a lot of money, Lakey. 103 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,494 So don't you let me down, you understand? 104 00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,713 Mm, I will not let you down, sir. 105 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:25,281 Lakey, you screw this up, 106 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,283 it's Aqua Caliente. 107 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,372 Mm. Hot chicken. 108 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,678 Hot water. 109 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,506 Not tap water hot, Lakey. 110 00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,682 Like I'm going to stop a fucking mud hole 111 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:37,859 in your ass and walk and dry hot. 112 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:39,489 You understand? I'm going to spoon-feed you 113 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:42,037 the contents of your goddamn balls hot, 114 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,125 you hear me? 115 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:44,996 It's going to be JLo ass hot! 116 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,434 Gee, JLo's ass. I'm going to climb up in your fucking head 117 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,698 and beat you until you have some goddamn sense hot! 118 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,309 Do I make myself fucking clear? 119 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,615 I got it. 120 00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:55,790 Good. 121 00:05:58,009 --> 00:05:59,228 Bye, Lakey. 122 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:01,404 Bye. 123 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,188 Lakey! 124 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:05,974 I hate it when he calls me that. It's so gay. 125 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,611 Yo. You've reached Billy Sham, the Shaminator. 126 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,265 Kick it or stick it. 127 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,485 Nah. Leave a message. beep. 128 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:41,139 Yo, Shamrocks. What up, dude? 129 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,577 Ha ha! Got you, bitch. 130 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,796 Where are you? I want to go over your dialogue. 131 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,450 Yeah, I know. We were supposed to meet 132 00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:49,496 over at your shit hole to go over movie stuff. 133 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:50,734 But I got to watch my uncle's place. 134 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:51,802 Got the bitchen pad. 135 00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:53,040 Maybe you should come over here. 136 00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,327 No, you come over here. 137 00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,026 Actually, I can't leave. 138 00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:00,768 My cousin just got home from cheer practice. 139 00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,247 Mm. Bummer. 140 00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:03,727 I hate you. 141 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,207 Ha ha ha ha ha ha! 142 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:13,607 Piper: Hi. 143 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,961 Yeah. 144 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,973 Lookin' fly. 145 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:40,329 Aztec fans, pump it up. Let's hear it. 146 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,418 Fight, win. 147 00:07:44,855 --> 00:07:45,856 Lakey! 148 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,163 Shamrocks. 149 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,469 Hey, Piper. 150 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,992 Fight, win. 151 00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,994 - Hello. - Hi. 152 00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,038 Nice to meet you. 153 00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,170 - Hmm? - Billy Sham. 154 00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:56,693 Hey, you heard of my song "Kick It"? 155 00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,173 No. 156 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,088 Oh, it was a big hit in the early '90s. 157 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,313 I was born in the early '90s. 158 00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,272 Ha ha ha ha ha! Cool. 159 00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:11,795 You guys need anything? 160 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,624 Actually, I was wondering... 161 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:17,018 Actually, we're good. 162 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,976 I'm going to go finish my work. 163 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,369 Billy: Cool. 164 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,154 - All right. - What's up, Sham? 165 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,983 My God. You told me your cousin was hot, but damn! 166 00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:28,551 Hands off, bro. My uncle will filet your fucking balls 167 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,900 if you come anywhere near her. 168 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,574 Dude, you know I have a weakness for cheerleaders. 169 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,251 Yeah, barely legal style, so focus. 170 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,340 She's not even 18. Focus. 171 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,342 Okay. Dude, we can't let 172 00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,127 her minor flaws, addictions, and bad habits 173 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,042 ruin this opportunity, okay? 174 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,696 We got to make our peers proud, man, 175 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,959 set a wonderful example to our family and friends 176 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,265 and make a great movie for all to see. 177 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,504 - Amen, bro. - Are you with me? 178 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,138 - Yes, sir. - I said are you with me? 179 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,356 - Yes, sir. - Cool. So listen. 180 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,228 Breaking the Wind is going to be a shoo-in 181 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,317 for the festivals. It's going to be an indie hit. 182 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,884 - You said it. - What did I just say? 183 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,755 You said it's going to be an indie hit, 184 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,037 a shoo-in for all the festivals. 185 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,299 - Exactly. - That what I'm talking about. 186 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,561 - Yeah, you feel it? - I can feel it. 187 00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,673 Guess what I got. 188 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,979 What? 189 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,767 Dude, how cool is this? 190 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:11,962 Where the fuck did you get that? 191 00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,162 Dude, I took you off the internet 192 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:16,120 and Photoshopped it. 193 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,905 It's not even my body. 194 00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:18,993 Okay, dude, you know what? 195 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,777 Show it off. Put it in the bar. 196 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,997 - Cool. - Because it's our poster. 197 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,305 Dude, nice digs, bro. 198 00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,979 Yeah, I'm housesitting for a couple of days. 199 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,308 Got to watch my cousin. 200 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:31,701 Watch her? 201 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,442 She's sweet as pie till she hits the sauce. 202 00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:34,704 I'll give her some sauce. 203 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:37,054 Cool your jets, dude. You're such a perv. 204 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,275 Who's that? 205 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,626 I have no idea. 206 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,282 It's kind of hard living the high life, bro. 207 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,980 Guess what. It just got a little higher. 208 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:53,375 The Breaking the Wind LOC production card. 209 00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:55,072 - Let me see that. - Absolutely not. 210 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,813 I'm the responsible one. I will hold. 211 00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:58,641 All 100,000's on that. 212 00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,164 All 100,000. 213 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,950 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 214 00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,343 No, no, no, no. We got to keep it cool, man. 215 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,475 No shit. 216 00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:07,781 You know my weaknesses. 217 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:10,522 Which one, Vicodan, coke, ludes, cheerleaders? 218 00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:13,482 Hey, Lake! Some totally hot chick in a Range Rover 219 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:14,657 just pulled up. 220 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,137 Great. Send her back. 221 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:19,357 Lake, what totally hot chick in a Range Rover 222 00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:20,489 just showed up? 223 00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:21,490 We just need a star. 224 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,709 Why is there a star here? 225 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,101 Well, I mean, 226 00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,644 I thought we'd hang out by the pool, get tight. 227 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:26,974 We do start filming in two days. 228 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,062 I'm not prepared for this. 229 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,387 I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow. 230 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,108 Dude, I got script notes, 231 00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,849 important script notes, dude. 232 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,286 I didn't even blow dry my hair. 233 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,505 Your hair looks flying high. 234 00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:38,376 Listen, we're going to hang out by the pool. 235 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,465 We're going to have some tea, get to know each... 236 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,337 What's up with the gay white suit anyhow? 237 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,381 Huh? 238 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:44,818 You look like the ice cream man. 239 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:46,602 Got a fucking Creamsicle for me? 240 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,690 What the fuck? 241 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,173 It's so nice to meet you. 242 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,827 Hmm. 243 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:55,742 I'm Lake's cousin Piper? 244 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,004 Hmm. 245 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,581 Are you okay? 246 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,975 My stupid boyfriend's a dick-lick, 247 00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,542 and I hate him. 248 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,896 Just hold me. 249 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:27,034 I love you for being so sweet. 250 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,646 All right. 251 00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,826 I'm over him now. 252 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,613 Well, yeah, boyfriends suck. 253 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:42,702 Hmm. 254 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,747 You're way too beautiful to be crying. 255 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:47,968 Are you a model? 256 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:49,839 I only do big covers. 257 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,755 Oh, and I did that Sprinkle Sneaker ad... 258 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,410 You know, the one where I'm sitting on the toilet. 259 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:58,761 - I love Sprinkle Shoes! - Hmm. 260 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:01,155 Oh, my gosh! 261 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,724 Wait. Were you in I Know What Your Breast Did Last Summer? 262 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,203 Bingo. 263 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,075 I Know What Your Breast Did Last Summer 264 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:10,555 was an inspiration to all my friends! 265 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:14,690 Oh, honey, these new ones are even more inspirational. 266 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,040 That's the coat from the movie. 267 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,303 You show your tits in a movie, 268 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,871 and all they give you is this ratty-ass coat. 269 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,222 I regift it to you. 270 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,137 A regift? 271 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:29,357 Oh, my God, thank you. 272 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,142 I'm going to wear this to Homecoming! 273 00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,014 You are so sweet. 274 00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,149 Where'd you say your liquor cabinet was? 275 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,499 Uh, the kitchen? 276 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,240 All right, dude, let's just calm... 277 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:59,082 You must be our director Mr. Sham. 278 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,913 My mother was a big fan of yours 279 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,828 back when you were a rapper. 280 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:08,962 Well, before she overdosed. 281 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:12,052 What is that? 282 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:15,316 Breaking the Wind. Hot body. 283 00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:18,145 I brought some party favors, y'all. 284 00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:20,843 I love party favors. 285 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,410 Oh, you do? 286 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,891 Well, it's a good thing. 287 00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,509 Ohh! 288 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,298 Ahh. 289 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,001 Mmm. 290 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:51,831 I got to take a dump. 291 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,834 I want to come, too. 292 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:01,318 Excuse me. Dude, a coker. 293 00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:02,842 She's a coker, dude. 294 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:05,148 Your agent sends me an actress who's a coker? 295 00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,977 Shh. Listen, it's probably just a one-night thing. 296 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,761 Okay? She went to Beverly Hills Prep. 297 00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,241 They do that shit like candy there. 298 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,764 Dude, one-night thing? 299 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,070 She just did a line 300 00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,994 that made Charlie Sheen look like a fucking nun. 301 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,398 Oh. You might want to light a match. 302 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,662 Uh, you want to go swimming? 303 00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:46,450 Lake: We've got Lena Starr, with two capital Rs, 304 00:14:46,494 --> 00:14:47,712 the star of Breaking the Wind. 305 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,714 We'll sell this thing off of her name 306 00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:51,629 and her knockers alone. 307 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,675 Okay, fine, fine. 308 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:56,504 Dude, we'll sell on her name. We'll sell on her knockers. 309 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,985 Whatever. But please, dude, can we keep it cool? 310 00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,769 Shamrocks, we are keeping it cool. 311 00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,225 It's all good. Now come in, Shamrocks. 312 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,425 Come in. Come in. Let's park in my parlor. 313 00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:05,643 Let's do this. 314 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,433 Okay. Do you want to pound nails 315 00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:13,782 for the rest of your life? 316 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:14,957 No. 317 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,350 Okay, we can't screw this up. 318 00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:17,438 Dude... 319 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,449 We're not screwing anything up, bro. 320 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,053 We've got a huge star. 321 00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,577 She's hot as can be, okay? 322 00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:29,145 She's taking a poop in my uncle's guest house 323 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:30,277 as we speak. 324 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,497 Listen, we're going to relax by the pool 325 00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:34,803 and hang out. 326 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,109 And if you're not a douche bag, 327 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,592 I'll probably let you watch my cousin 328 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:38,894 while she's in the shower. 329 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,243 Don't do that. 330 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,462 Think of it as a cleansing. 331 00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,724 I will not. 332 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:50,514 Just one little drinkie, bro. 333 00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,081 - No. - Just a little sip. 334 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,430 - Stop it. - Just a little. 335 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,084 It's your uncle's money. 336 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:56,999 You're right. It is my uncle's money. 337 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,479 So quit being grouchy grandpa. 338 00:15:58,522 --> 00:15:59,915 I will not. 339 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,786 See? I knew you would do that. 340 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,614 Okay, you know what? I'll tell you what. 341 00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,486 We're going to have a fucking toast right now. 342 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,140 I'm going to break out the good shit. 343 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,316 How about that? Hey, girls. 344 00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:11,057 Come over here. We're having a toast. 345 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,494 Hey, dude. Hey, come up here. 346 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:18,629 Ha ha ha! Hi. 347 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:20,153 Alcohol? 348 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,981 Hello. My name is Sven. 349 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,373 What's up, Sven? 350 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,333 I see you have the cocaine. 351 00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,249 Okay, I'd like to propose a toast. 352 00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,686 Here's to friends and family. 353 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:32,861 May we always agree, 354 00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,123 and if we ever disagree, 355 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:37,909 well, fuck you, and cheers to Billy. 356 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,694 To Breaking the Windon 3. 357 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:41,696 1, 2, 3. 358 00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:43,480 Breaking the Wind! 359 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:47,832 Okay. 360 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,138 Hmm. 361 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,578 - Let's get wet. - Yes. 362 00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,493 - Let's go swimming. - Whoo! 363 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:02,151 So, uh, one-night thing, huh? 364 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,719 Okay, maybe a little problem. 365 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,072 We start filming our film in 48 hours. 366 00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:11,639 48 hours, bro. 367 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,858 Is there a bathroom in the guest house? 368 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:14,990 Yeah. 369 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,774 Okay, because just looking at this 370 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,037 makes me want to poop. 371 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,604 It's not funny, dude. 372 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,350 It's a good thing you wore the white pants, slick. 373 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,223 48 hours! 374 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,660 48 hours, baby. Whoo! 375 00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,396 Good morning. 376 00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,446 Good morning, Shammy. 377 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:22,927 Hola. 378 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,070 Sven. 379 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,812 Sven, help me. 380 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,074 Where's Lake? 381 00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,823 Lake, get up. 382 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,520 Lake, up. 383 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,004 Just some eggs and toast with coffee. 384 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:57,310 Get up, Lake. 385 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:04,491 What time is it, man? 386 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:05,579 It's 9:30. 387 00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:06,841 Fuck. 388 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,408 The caterer comes at 10. 389 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:09,931 I know. 390 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,108 Who's behind you? 391 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,415 Hi, Lakey. 392 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,809 You were fast out of the starting gate, 393 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:22,248 and you really turned it on in the back stretch. 394 00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:25,947 And you pounded it on the fourth turn. 395 00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:29,690 Oh, my God! 396 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,388 Oh, my God, I probably have herpes. 397 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,085 Dude, what happened last night? 398 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,435 I have no idea. 399 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,872 All I remember you saying is "Just one drink," 400 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:42,485 and you understand why I can only have no drinks, none. 401 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:43,573 Or coke. 402 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,184 Right. Or coke. 403 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,620 Good morning. 404 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:47,751 Morning. 405 00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:48,839 What... 406 00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,014 What is it... that? 407 00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,538 Uh, I'm not too sure. 408 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,148 Who's cooking me breakfast? 409 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,976 Breakfast sounds fabulous. 410 00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,238 Bill: Dude. 411 00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,302 Piper, are you drinking already? 412 00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:58,806 Don't get all agro on me. 413 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,068 It's 9:30. 414 00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:03,245 It's a mimosa, you wannabe freak. 415 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,465 Damn, girl, you're, like, ghetto fabulous 416 00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:06,553 when you drink. 417 00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:07,815 Totally. 418 00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:09,512 That is why that girl cannot drink. 419 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:11,471 Oh, well. 420 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,124 Nice coat, though. 421 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:14,474 Oh, thanks, bro. 422 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:16,737 What? 423 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,092 And pastrami from the sausage. 424 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,835 Look at these scores right here. 425 00:20:27,878 --> 00:20:29,663 They got one of those swords. 426 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:33,536 Remember, we did that for our anniversary? 427 00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:34,798 Whoa. Damn. 428 00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,278 Oh! 429 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:38,933 Hey, what's wrong? 430 00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,284 Baby, some girls got to put out 431 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,001 to pay the rent. You got to understand that. 432 00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,419 I'm not crying about her. 433 00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:49,465 I'm crying about my dog Tofu! 434 00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,945 Tofu tastes like balls. 435 00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:53,339 You have a dog named Tofu? 436 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:55,384 Had! He died! 437 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,125 He looked just like that coat, 438 00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:58,474 and I want it! 439 00:20:58,518 --> 00:20:59,910 Baby, we got to get out of here. 440 00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,172 Come on, let's go, man. 441 00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,261 Oh, no, no, no, no. 442 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,306 Listen, you better get over there, 443 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,090 punch that pimp in the face, 444 00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:08,179 spit on his bitch, and get her that coat, 445 00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:10,530 or I'm calling my daddy. 446 00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,532 I love you, Piper. 447 00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:15,143 Hold this, please. 448 00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:21,018 Well, what do you want to do? 449 00:21:21,062 --> 00:21:22,474 What do you mean, what do I want to do? 450 00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:24,805 I mean, we kind of got to get that fucking jacket. 451 00:21:24,848 --> 00:21:26,894 Fuck. I was afraid of that. 452 00:21:26,937 --> 00:21:27,982 Yeah. 453 00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,157 Listen, I was a rapper. 454 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,550 - Let me handle it. - Okay. 455 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,681 - Break. - Break. 456 00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:36,338 What's up, pimp skizzies? 457 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,732 That jacket, yo, is kickin', bro. 458 00:21:38,775 --> 00:21:40,951 Word, word. Is is tight, huh? 459 00:21:40,995 --> 00:21:43,650 This is some real business right here. 460 00:21:43,693 --> 00:21:45,521 Shit. 461 00:21:45,565 --> 00:21:47,088 Do you know who that is, baby? 462 00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:48,829 You that Billy Sham character? 463 00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:50,091 That rapper? 464 00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:51,373 Cool, dude. You know my song "Kick It," right? 465 00:21:51,397 --> 00:21:53,660 From the early '90s. You know that shit, right? 466 00:21:53,703 --> 00:21:55,314 I remember that. Come on, go with me. 467 00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:02,059 Yeah, I remember that shit. 468 00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:03,191 Thank you so much, dude. 469 00:22:03,234 --> 00:22:04,647 That's cool that you know my song, man. 470 00:22:04,671 --> 00:22:05,933 Yeah, it's real cool 471 00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:07,935 that I remembered that dog shit, motherfucker! 472 00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,719 - I hated that song. - Ha ha ha! 473 00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:10,981 Whoopsies. 474 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:12,481 - Fuck, I almost got... - He don't like it. 475 00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:13,960 - That dog shit. - He hated that shit. 476 00:22:13,984 --> 00:22:15,116 Let me tell you something. 477 00:22:15,159 --> 00:22:16,398 If you're over here bugging me, 478 00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:17,510 I'm hoping you know 479 00:22:17,553 --> 00:22:19,033 this shit's $20 for the mouthpiece. 480 00:22:19,076 --> 00:22:20,991 And I get 50 for the hole right there... 481 00:22:21,035 --> 00:22:22,036 The pimp hole. 482 00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:23,472 I think we got a feel-bad story. 483 00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:24,952 I have to apologize for him. 484 00:22:24,995 --> 00:22:27,128 And second, we're not really interested in the lady. 485 00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:28,434 We want the jacket. 486 00:22:28,477 --> 00:22:30,349 No offense. You're a fine young filly. 487 00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:31,611 Our friends over there, 488 00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:34,309 your jacket reminds her of her dog Tofu, 489 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,765 who's passed away and gone to a better place, 490 00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:37,027 if you believe that kind of thing. 491 00:22:37,051 --> 00:22:38,618 I'm an atheist personally, so I don't... 492 00:22:38,661 --> 00:22:40,184 Hey, man, just give me the coat. 493 00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:44,580 Why, why would I give you or them this pimp-ass jacket? 494 00:22:44,624 --> 00:22:46,321 It's the real shit, baby. 495 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,541 I'll give you $500 for that thing. 496 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,020 - Bam, bitch. - $500? 497 00:22:50,064 --> 00:22:52,283 - Boom. - 500? 500 dol...? 498 00:22:52,327 --> 00:22:53,981 Man, you crazy? 499 00:22:54,024 --> 00:22:55,635 Crazy? 3K, motherfucker. 500 00:22:55,678 --> 00:22:57,027 You crazy? 501 00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:58,333 Hold on, man. 502 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:02,076 You want $3,000 for that fucking furry-ass coat? 503 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,644 And you want $60 for the bitch? 504 00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:05,732 What'd you say? 505 00:23:05,775 --> 00:23:09,126 I said 3,000 is fine. 506 00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,998 They're fucking me. Give me the money first. 507 00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,869 Show me the money. 508 00:23:12,913 --> 00:23:14,654 Yo, look at that. Smell it. 509 00:23:14,697 --> 00:23:16,612 Tell me if it's real, baby. 510 00:23:16,656 --> 00:23:18,701 Yeah, put it in there. Put it in your moneymaker. 511 00:23:18,745 --> 00:23:20,224 Baby, mm, it's smelly. 512 00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:21,312 It's real, baby. It's real. 513 00:23:21,356 --> 00:23:22,792 That shit's real. Okay. 514 00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:23,967 - Here you take... - Mm-hmm. 515 00:23:24,011 --> 00:23:25,012 You take this shit. 516 00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:26,927 Bitch. 517 00:23:26,970 --> 00:23:28,319 Call me. 518 00:23:28,363 --> 00:23:29,843 Shit, we made out, baby. 519 00:23:29,886 --> 00:23:31,453 Mm. 520 00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:33,499 - Smell good, huh? - Mm-hmm. 521 00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:35,805 1, 2, 3 for me. 522 00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:38,112 - 1, 2, 3 for me. - For me. 523 00:23:38,155 --> 00:23:40,375 1 for you, 2... 524 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,638 Let's go get some chicken and waffles, baby, all right? 525 00:23:42,682 --> 00:23:44,292 We're going to celebrate your birthday. 526 00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:45,293 I love you, baby. 527 00:23:45,336 --> 00:23:46,357 Let me tell you something. 528 00:23:46,381 --> 00:23:47,426 I got you a present, too. 529 00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:50,211 Aw, baby, you got me a nice gift, too? 530 00:23:50,254 --> 00:23:51,473 Oh, fuck. 531 00:23:51,517 --> 00:23:52,822 What? 532 00:23:52,866 --> 00:23:54,302 The coat. I left the... 533 00:23:54,345 --> 00:23:55,390 Baby, baby, it's okay. 534 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,913 We can get you another jacket. 535 00:23:56,957 --> 00:23:59,481 My cousin Vicki has this cute little St. Bernard at home. 536 00:23:59,525 --> 00:24:00,787 He's all big and furry. 537 00:24:00,830 --> 00:24:03,006 No, it's not the fucking coat, you stupid... 538 00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:04,355 You're so... I'm so sorry. 539 00:24:04,399 --> 00:24:06,880 I left your present in the jacket. 540 00:24:06,923 --> 00:24:08,577 Take that. 541 00:24:08,621 --> 00:24:10,579 What... What present? 542 00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:12,538 The present... The diamond fucking n... 543 00:24:12,581 --> 00:24:13,582 Necklace. I'm so sorry. 544 00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:16,629 You gave away my diamond necklace, 545 00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:19,196 you motherfucking, worthless, no-coat-wearing, 546 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,502 standing on the street corner 547 00:24:20,546 --> 00:24:24,114 looking like a retarded ass mother-ass fuck! 548 00:24:25,725 --> 00:24:27,944 Now I'm all worked up... 549 00:24:27,988 --> 00:24:29,511 and hungry. 550 00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:30,773 Listen, listen, listen. 551 00:24:30,817 --> 00:24:32,383 No chicken for you, baby. 552 00:24:32,427 --> 00:24:33,950 No chicken. We got to, see, 553 00:24:33,994 --> 00:24:35,691 get your motherfucking present back! 554 00:24:35,735 --> 00:24:36,779 Then let's go! 555 00:24:36,823 --> 00:24:38,389 Go, bitch, go! 556 00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:41,218 Bon appetit. 557 00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:43,612 You needed to eat the breakfast. 558 00:24:43,656 --> 00:24:46,397 I made it with lots of protein 559 00:24:46,441 --> 00:24:49,836 to keep you big and strong. 560 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,541 Hey, Lake, have you seen the, uh, credit card? 561 00:25:00,629 --> 00:25:02,544 The, uh, production credit card? 562 00:25:02,588 --> 00:25:04,372 Mm-mm. Mm. 563 00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:06,853 You know what? This looks really delicious. 564 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,550 I think we should probably have a bite. 565 00:25:08,594 --> 00:25:10,726 No, actually, I think you should give me the card now. 566 00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:12,423 I don't know if I have it, dude. 567 00:25:12,467 --> 00:25:15,383 I mean, I just have papers. 568 00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,084 Is this it? 569 00:25:21,128 --> 00:25:23,086 Yes, this one. 570 00:25:23,130 --> 00:25:24,871 Okay, great, Why is this all fucked up? 571 00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:27,090 I have no idea. I'm not responsible for that. 572 00:25:27,134 --> 00:25:28,788 Okay, great. So does anyone else 573 00:25:28,831 --> 00:25:30,877 have any, uh, receipts of credit cards 574 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,574 or anything they want to share with me? 575 00:25:32,618 --> 00:25:34,576 Ooh! I found one. 576 00:25:34,620 --> 00:25:36,796 Thank you very much. 577 00:25:36,839 --> 00:25:39,146 Mm-kay. 578 00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:43,280 $2,560 at Sake Bombers. 579 00:25:43,324 --> 00:25:46,501 $2,500? 580 00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:48,329 Dude, put on that? 581 00:25:48,372 --> 00:25:49,896 Where else are we going to put it? 582 00:25:49,939 --> 00:25:53,813 10 bottles of sake at 100 apiece? 583 00:25:53,856 --> 00:25:55,510 A table? 584 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,164 800 bucks? 585 00:25:57,207 --> 00:25:58,339 Where's the table? 586 00:25:58,382 --> 00:26:00,559 Sometimes at a nightclub, 587 00:26:00,602 --> 00:26:01,647 they'll give you a table. 588 00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:02,778 That's to make you feel 589 00:26:02,822 --> 00:26:04,258 a little bit more special. 590 00:26:04,301 --> 00:26:06,434 Most A-list actors know this. 591 00:26:06,477 --> 00:26:07,609 What are you saying? 592 00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:11,308 Oh. I was just saying. 593 00:26:11,352 --> 00:26:13,180 It's okay. 594 00:26:13,223 --> 00:26:15,617 No. No. No. 595 00:26:15,661 --> 00:26:17,358 This is not fucking okay. 596 00:26:17,401 --> 00:26:19,229 Billy, my uncle... Not your uncle... 597 00:26:19,273 --> 00:26:20,491 My uncle who lent us the money 598 00:26:20,535 --> 00:26:21,623 for this fucking movie 599 00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:24,191 goes to Vegas for business. 600 00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:26,019 Mobster business, Billy. He's a hit man. 601 00:26:26,062 --> 00:26:28,587 He doesn't go there for a fucking dry cleaning business. 602 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,066 He's not bail bondsman business. 603 00:26:30,110 --> 00:26:31,285 He's a heavy, Billy. 604 00:26:31,328 --> 00:26:32,982 Do you know what a fucking heavy is? 605 00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:34,157 Uh, an overweight man. 606 00:26:34,201 --> 00:26:36,682 No, you fuck. He's a killer. 607 00:26:36,725 --> 00:26:39,510 He's going to fucking rip our assholes open. 608 00:26:39,554 --> 00:26:41,488 I'm shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds right now. 609 00:26:41,512 --> 00:26:44,385 Shh. Calm. 610 00:26:44,428 --> 00:26:45,734 Silence. 611 00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:48,345 Shamrocks, give me a fucking Valium right now. 612 00:26:52,349 --> 00:26:53,742 You should probably take one, too, 613 00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:56,049 because he's going to be fucking pissed. 614 00:26:56,092 --> 00:26:58,791 Ooh. I found another one. 615 00:26:58,834 --> 00:27:00,314 This is like a treasure hunt. 616 00:27:00,357 --> 00:27:04,579 It's from a psychic. Fun! 617 00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:09,105 You will lose lots of money tonight. 618 00:27:09,149 --> 00:27:11,238 Oh, my God, you're amazing. 619 00:27:11,281 --> 00:27:13,501 You should go to my birthday party! 620 00:27:13,544 --> 00:27:16,025 She's like the angel. 621 00:27:17,113 --> 00:27:19,159 Ooh! I found a good one. 622 00:27:19,202 --> 00:27:20,682 I think I'm winning. 623 00:27:20,726 --> 00:27:23,467 "Tickle Time Parlor." 624 00:27:23,511 --> 00:27:27,515 Boys, that sounds so naughty. 625 00:27:29,299 --> 00:27:30,518 Dude, did we get hookers? 626 00:27:37,743 --> 00:27:40,615 Oh, shit. I'm about to be murdered, 627 00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:42,579 and I don't even remember the good fucking stuff. 628 00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:47,056 Dude, what was the extra 53.50 for? 629 00:27:48,449 --> 00:27:51,974 Which of you two studs is first? 630 00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:53,323 Gobble, gobble. 631 00:27:53,367 --> 00:27:55,761 - Mommy! - Mommy! 632 00:27:55,804 --> 00:27:57,937 Not a word. 633 00:27:57,980 --> 00:28:01,418 Someone has crabs. 634 00:28:05,945 --> 00:28:08,687 Oh, well, what's this one, Pampers Spa? 635 00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,863 What? You can go to some rub-and-tug, 636 00:28:10,906 --> 00:28:12,386 and we can't go to the spa? 637 00:28:12,429 --> 00:28:13,996 - Aah! - Aah! 638 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,346 Aah! Ooh. 639 00:28:16,390 --> 00:28:17,652 You're not even in the movie. 640 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:19,306 What the fuck do you need pampering for? 641 00:28:19,349 --> 00:28:22,048 Um, hello. It's my dad's money. That's why. 642 00:28:22,091 --> 00:28:24,659 Okay. 13,500. 643 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,183 13,500? 644 00:28:27,227 --> 00:28:29,620 Well, where were you for that flashback? 645 00:28:29,664 --> 00:28:32,406 Huh. Could it be at the casino? 646 00:28:32,449 --> 00:28:33,842 Fucking douche bag. 647 00:28:40,849 --> 00:28:41,807 What? 648 00:28:41,850 --> 00:28:43,156 I'm not a fucking butler. 649 00:28:43,199 --> 00:28:45,245 Someone else can go get it. 650 00:28:45,288 --> 00:28:46,768 Fuck it. I'll get it. 651 00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:48,813 Thank you. 652 00:28:51,860 --> 00:28:53,122 Hi. 653 00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:55,472 I've got an overnight delivery for a Lena S. 654 00:28:55,516 --> 00:28:57,257 - Lena? - Yeah. Here. 655 00:29:01,435 --> 00:29:02,958 Is this shit COD, man? 656 00:29:03,002 --> 00:29:05,134 Oh, no, no. She paid for it 657 00:29:05,178 --> 00:29:07,920 with a credit card ending 6679. 658 00:29:07,963 --> 00:29:09,791 Here. Just sign here. 659 00:29:09,835 --> 00:29:11,924 Breaking the Windmovie? 660 00:29:11,967 --> 00:29:13,969 It's a good title, man. 661 00:29:14,013 --> 00:29:15,536 Yeah. Thanks, loser. 662 00:29:20,149 --> 00:29:23,674 Yeah, well, nice scarf twinkle, dick. 663 00:29:23,718 --> 00:29:24,850 I heard that. 664 00:29:24,893 --> 00:29:26,852 Oh, shit. 665 00:29:39,603 --> 00:29:40,822 You bought a dog? 666 00:29:42,171 --> 00:29:44,565 You bought him for me as a pre-movie present. 667 00:29:44,608 --> 00:29:46,219 Don't you remember? 668 00:29:48,569 --> 00:29:50,789 He's a little racing dog. 669 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:53,748 We thought we could win some money at the track. 670 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,881 He looks like a giant rat. 671 00:29:55,924 --> 00:29:57,665 Shh. 672 00:29:57,708 --> 00:29:59,667 You'll ruin his psyche. 673 00:29:59,710 --> 00:30:04,019 I think I'll call you Big Spender! 674 00:30:04,063 --> 00:30:05,499 Billy: Sounds just about right. 675 00:30:05,542 --> 00:30:07,806 The dog is so cool. 676 00:30:07,849 --> 00:30:09,546 No. Not cool. Put the dog back. 677 00:30:09,590 --> 00:30:11,635 It's going back to whatever rat hole it came from. 678 00:30:11,679 --> 00:30:13,289 You can't send him back. 679 00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:15,291 - You wouldn't. - I will. 680 00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:17,032 Look at his face. 681 00:30:17,076 --> 00:30:19,469 I love him. We've already bonded. 682 00:30:19,513 --> 00:30:21,080 You can't send him back. 683 00:30:24,170 --> 00:30:26,912 So, uh, we lost our whole budget, right? 684 00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:29,262 Yeah. I'm done. 685 00:30:29,305 --> 00:30:30,654 My career's over, bro. 686 00:30:30,698 --> 00:30:33,527 My balls are going to be stapled to a 2x4. 687 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:37,357 Yeah, well, my dad's going to take my frickin' allowance away 688 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,706 for at least a month. 689 00:30:38,749 --> 00:30:40,099 Fuck. 690 00:30:40,142 --> 00:30:42,144 Oh. And my car. 691 00:30:42,188 --> 00:30:44,494 I should have been an English teacher. 692 00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:48,324 Rapper turned director. What is that? 693 00:30:49,412 --> 00:30:50,718 We're in hot water, bro. 694 00:30:50,761 --> 00:30:53,199 Sven: The caterer is here. 695 00:30:54,765 --> 00:30:56,419 - Oh, hi. - Hi, guys. 696 00:30:56,463 --> 00:30:58,900 We're just going to start setting up. 697 00:30:58,944 --> 00:31:02,034 The fucking party, man. We're fucked. 698 00:31:03,513 --> 00:31:05,037 Uh, what party? 699 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,127 Uh, my party. Duh. 700 00:31:08,170 --> 00:31:11,608 Guys, we're beyond screwed. 701 00:31:11,652 --> 00:31:12,914 Without any budget, 702 00:31:12,958 --> 00:31:14,611 we have to call off the movie. 703 00:31:14,655 --> 00:31:17,440 What? I already posted it to my web site. 704 00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:19,616 You can't do that. 705 00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:22,489 Oh, man. We lost our budget. 706 00:31:23,490 --> 00:31:24,970 We lost our budget. 707 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:31,454 Ahh! 708 00:31:32,716 --> 00:31:33,996 No, we're not done. Yes, you are. 709 00:31:34,022 --> 00:31:35,806 No, I'm not. I am not done. 710 00:31:35,850 --> 00:31:37,808 I am not done. I'm a director. 711 00:31:37,852 --> 00:31:40,115 I am never done. Never. 712 00:31:40,159 --> 00:31:41,812 I have an idea! 713 00:31:43,684 --> 00:31:45,555 I forgot it. Sorry. 714 00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:47,470 We will prevail. 715 00:31:47,514 --> 00:31:50,343 With a little brainstorming, we will prevail. 716 00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:52,258 Do you think Coppola laid down 717 00:31:52,301 --> 00:31:54,782 in the jungles of Cambodia when the shit hit the fan? 718 00:31:54,825 --> 00:31:56,566 No, he did not. 719 00:31:56,610 --> 00:31:58,873 100 days on Apocalypse Now. 720 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,049 They shot 100 days. 721 00:32:01,093 --> 00:32:03,922 This... This is our Apocalypse Now. 722 00:32:03,965 --> 00:32:06,881 We will napalm this whole damn town. 723 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:08,100 Are you with me? 724 00:32:10,058 --> 00:32:11,494 But if we don't have any money, 725 00:32:11,538 --> 00:32:13,018 we don't have a movie, Bill. 726 00:32:14,323 --> 00:32:15,368 Huh! 727 00:32:15,411 --> 00:32:17,283 It was a good speech, though. 728 00:32:18,675 --> 00:32:21,026 Just trying to be optimistic. 729 00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:22,941 Well, guess I'm going to call a few people 730 00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:24,333 and fire them. 731 00:32:32,515 --> 00:32:33,908 Grandma? 732 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:35,127 Whoa! 733 00:32:35,170 --> 00:32:36,170 Pussy. 734 00:32:37,390 --> 00:32:39,044 Grandma! 735 00:32:39,087 --> 00:32:43,439 Don't smother me. You're gonna mess my hair. 736 00:32:43,483 --> 00:32:46,094 Hello. My name is Sven. 737 00:32:46,138 --> 00:32:49,097 Oh, hi, there, Sven. Hmm. 738 00:32:49,141 --> 00:32:50,490 Who's the slut? 739 00:32:50,533 --> 00:32:51,882 Grandma, shh. 740 00:32:51,926 --> 00:32:53,014 That's Lena Starr. 741 00:32:53,058 --> 00:32:54,059 She's a big movie star. 742 00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:56,365 Big Titty Nights comes out next month. 743 00:32:56,409 --> 00:33:00,108 Ooh. I could have starred in that Big Titty Nights. 744 00:33:00,152 --> 00:33:02,893 I wouldn't have had to get these babies, either. 745 00:33:02,937 --> 00:33:05,070 Sorry my grandma's a cunt. 746 00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:07,986 Go fetch me some prune juice. 747 00:33:08,029 --> 00:33:10,466 I haven't taken a crap in three weeks. 748 00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:12,207 Ooh. Whatever you want, Grandma. 749 00:33:12,251 --> 00:33:15,471 Take my bag. I'm staying in the west room 750 00:33:15,515 --> 00:33:16,777 You're staying here? 751 00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:19,998 Well, yeah. Come on, dumb shit. 752 00:33:20,041 --> 00:33:23,131 Come on, I wouldn't miss my Piper's birthday. 753 00:33:23,175 --> 00:33:24,785 Give Grandma a smoochie-smoochie. 754 00:33:24,828 --> 00:33:26,569 Smoochie-smoochie, mm... 755 00:33:26,613 --> 00:33:28,832 Okay, okay, Grams, let's... Let's... let's... let's... 756 00:33:28,876 --> 00:33:30,027 - Let's... let's... let's... - Hey! 757 00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:31,051 Come on, let's go. 758 00:33:32,184 --> 00:33:34,142 Bye, there, Svenny boy. 759 00:33:36,275 --> 00:33:37,406 Ah, fuck it. 760 00:33:38,538 --> 00:33:39,800 Come on. 761 00:33:39,843 --> 00:33:41,149 Sven, down here. Hee hee! 762 00:33:41,193 --> 00:33:43,325 Wake up, ladies. 763 00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:45,806 Woman: Will you put that up near the bar? 764 00:33:48,504 --> 00:33:49,766 Hey, where's this skull go? 765 00:33:49,810 --> 00:33:51,333 Over there. 766 00:33:51,377 --> 00:33:53,031 Oh, my God. 767 00:34:02,692 --> 00:34:04,216 I got it! 768 00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:13,312 Okay, listen, guys, 769 00:34:13,355 --> 00:34:14,704 we got two options, okay? 770 00:34:14,748 --> 00:34:16,010 We either make a movie, 771 00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,794 or we give Uncle Joey Prego his money back. 772 00:34:17,838 --> 00:34:20,841 And the second one is not an option, okay? 773 00:34:20,884 --> 00:34:23,061 We're shooting a horror film tonight. 774 00:34:24,540 --> 00:34:26,803 Do you believe the production value of this house? 775 00:34:26,847 --> 00:34:27,978 I mean, look at this place. 776 00:34:28,022 --> 00:34:29,893 The interior, exterior, 777 00:34:29,937 --> 00:34:32,461 the set decoration, the props. 778 00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:35,073 The... The guests can be extras. Okay? 779 00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:36,552 And guess what. 780 00:34:36,596 --> 00:34:38,859 Lena is going to play the star, of course, 781 00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,513 and Lake is going to play the star. 782 00:34:40,556 --> 00:34:42,776 Hello. It's my birthday party tonight, 783 00:34:42,819 --> 00:34:44,343 and if you fuck it up, 784 00:34:44,386 --> 00:34:45,624 I'm going to rip your asshole out. 785 00:34:45,648 --> 00:34:46,954 No, no, no, no. 786 00:34:46,997 --> 00:34:49,087 It's only a movie, pipsqueak. 787 00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:50,175 Still. 788 00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:52,264 Okay, listen, focus, focus, guys. 789 00:34:52,307 --> 00:34:54,657 Focus. I wasn't Matt Bacon's ass double, 790 00:34:54,701 --> 00:34:56,006 getting no recognition, 791 00:34:56,050 --> 00:34:57,747 showing my perky backside, for nothing. 792 00:34:57,791 --> 00:35:00,010 Well put. 793 00:35:00,054 --> 00:35:02,883 Well, you're going to need a camera, bro. 794 00:35:02,926 --> 00:35:04,145 Right. 795 00:35:04,189 --> 00:35:06,104 Hey, Daddy took a camera 796 00:35:06,147 --> 00:35:07,279 from some guy he ki... 797 00:35:07,322 --> 00:35:09,411 Borrowed... borrowed a camera 798 00:35:09,455 --> 00:35:10,630 from some guy he worked with. 799 00:35:10,673 --> 00:35:11,848 That's good. 800 00:35:11,892 --> 00:35:14,155 It's in my bedroom right next to my bed. 801 00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:15,983 Girl, I love the way you roll. 802 00:35:16,026 --> 00:35:18,420 We should hang out more often. 803 00:35:18,464 --> 00:35:20,161 This is great. 804 00:35:20,205 --> 00:35:21,530 Hello. I want to be in the movie, too. 805 00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:22,859 Oh, oh, you're going to be... 806 00:35:22,903 --> 00:35:24,992 We'll need lots of extras. 807 00:35:25,035 --> 00:35:26,211 Excuse me. Extra? 808 00:35:26,254 --> 00:35:28,343 I was in acting class for, like, three months. 809 00:35:28,387 --> 00:35:29,866 If you took some acting classes, 810 00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:31,390 you know some Shakespeare? 811 00:35:36,699 --> 00:35:38,048 Ahem. 812 00:35:39,485 --> 00:35:42,009 Oh, Romeo, Romeo, 813 00:35:42,052 --> 00:35:43,924 wherefore art thou, Romeo? 814 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:47,493 Deny my father and refuse my name? 815 00:35:47,536 --> 00:35:50,322 Or if thou will not be but sworn, my love, 816 00:35:50,365 --> 00:35:52,541 and I will no longer be a Capulet. 817 00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:54,326 And scene. 818 00:35:54,369 --> 00:35:56,502 Who wrote that crap? 819 00:35:57,677 --> 00:36:00,158 Oh, my God. That was brilliant. 820 00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:03,683 That was wonderful, so wonderful. 821 00:36:03,726 --> 00:36:05,641 That's what we're looking for... 822 00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:07,556 Collaboration, okay? 823 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,440 So listen, guys, we're going to make the movie. 824 00:36:09,471 --> 00:36:11,169 We're going to make it tonight, okay? 825 00:36:11,212 --> 00:36:12,735 But we have a lot of work to do. 826 00:36:12,779 --> 00:36:14,041 You're a genius, dude. 827 00:36:14,084 --> 00:36:17,436 I got a 95 out of 100 on my I.Q. test. 828 00:36:39,153 --> 00:36:41,460 All right, you fucks, back to the movie. 829 00:36:41,503 --> 00:36:43,766 Movie, distributor, breasts, cheerleaders. 830 00:36:43,810 --> 00:36:45,986 The distributor was adamant about breasts, 831 00:36:46,029 --> 00:36:47,509 lots of breasts. 832 00:36:47,553 --> 00:36:50,208 Breasts are the cheapest special effects in a movie. 833 00:36:50,251 --> 00:36:52,079 Yeah, boobies! 834 00:36:52,122 --> 00:36:53,187 Exactly. I hear you, brother. 835 00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:54,734 Now, here we go. Cheerleaders. 836 00:36:54,777 --> 00:36:56,364 Can we get some cheerleaders? Can we get some cheerleaders? 837 00:36:56,388 --> 00:36:57,432 Can we handle that? 838 00:36:57,476 --> 00:37:00,261 OMG, I know tons of cheerleaders. 839 00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:02,481 Okay, well, why are you standing around 840 00:37:02,524 --> 00:37:04,091 talking to me about it? 841 00:37:04,134 --> 00:37:06,746 Filmmaking is instinct. Move your ass. 842 00:37:07,877 --> 00:37:09,009 All right. 843 00:37:10,184 --> 00:37:11,533 Hey, Bill. 844 00:37:11,577 --> 00:37:13,361 What about the antagonist? 845 00:37:16,190 --> 00:37:17,713 The bad guy. 846 00:37:17,757 --> 00:37:19,169 Oh, right, right, right, right, right. 847 00:37:19,193 --> 00:37:21,630 Yeah, he's right. I mean, it doesn't matter 848 00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:24,024 how many cheerleaders or tits we have 849 00:37:24,067 --> 00:37:26,156 if we don't have some suspense and thrills, 850 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,308 if we don't have skull fucking 851 00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:29,769 by a... by a murderer sticking his knife 852 00:37:29,812 --> 00:37:32,032 into some deep slit. Friday the 16th. 853 00:37:32,075 --> 00:37:33,599 Hey, guys, how about this? 854 00:37:38,995 --> 00:37:41,171 I introduce to you 855 00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:43,217 The Welder Man. 856 00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:48,875 Ew, kinky. 857 00:37:48,918 --> 00:37:49,919 Sven! 858 00:37:49,963 --> 00:37:51,660 Aah! 859 00:37:58,798 --> 00:38:01,888 Hey, guys! Check this out! 860 00:38:01,931 --> 00:38:03,629 What the fuck is that, a giant cell phone? 861 00:38:03,672 --> 00:38:04,978 It's the fucking camera. 862 00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:07,285 - It sucks. - No, it doesn't. 863 00:38:07,328 --> 00:38:08,460 I shot a great video 864 00:38:08,503 --> 00:38:09,939 of Grandma jazzercising last week. 865 00:38:09,983 --> 00:38:11,289 It was awesome. 866 00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:13,508 So isn't Grandma confined to a wheelchair? 867 00:38:13,552 --> 00:38:14,770 Ooh! 868 00:38:18,905 --> 00:38:20,602 Nah. She does it for an insurance scam. 869 00:38:20,646 --> 00:38:23,170 Acting runs in the family, bro. 870 00:38:23,213 --> 00:38:25,607 All right. What time's the first audition? 871 00:38:25,651 --> 00:38:27,479 The girls are here. 872 00:38:27,522 --> 00:38:29,568 Here's the first group. 873 00:38:29,611 --> 00:38:31,352 Let's go, girls. 874 00:38:32,527 --> 00:38:35,617 All right. Looking hot. 875 00:38:35,661 --> 00:38:36,879 Stay lively. 876 00:38:41,231 --> 00:38:42,972 I want to be a star. 877 00:38:44,670 --> 00:38:47,368 Oh, sweetie, I am a star. 878 00:38:47,412 --> 00:38:50,980 Oh, come on, I can buy those next month. 879 00:38:51,024 --> 00:38:52,155 I'm not a real cheerleader, 880 00:38:52,199 --> 00:38:53,896 but I know that I look so hot. 881 00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:58,858 I don't give a fuck about the cheerleading thing. 882 00:38:58,901 --> 00:39:00,468 I just want to be a star. 883 00:39:00,512 --> 00:39:01,774 How do you like that? 884 00:39:01,817 --> 00:39:04,254 Whew! Hey, girl. 885 00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:08,520 I think you should put me in. 886 00:39:16,571 --> 00:39:20,358 All right, girls, there's plenty of booze in the kitchen, 887 00:39:20,401 --> 00:39:22,621 but don't get too wasted, my little stars. 888 00:39:22,664 --> 00:39:25,014 We'll be holding auditions one by one 889 00:39:25,058 --> 00:39:26,581 for speaking lines later on. 890 00:39:26,625 --> 00:39:28,366 You're dismissed. 891 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:30,542 Have a seat. 892 00:39:43,424 --> 00:39:45,383 Lena: This is our director. 893 00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:48,429 You can call me 10 because I'm a perfect 10. 894 00:39:48,473 --> 00:39:50,692 A perfect 10 you are. 895 00:39:50,736 --> 00:39:52,477 Are you an actress? 896 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,913 No. 897 00:39:55,871 --> 00:39:57,003 Do you want to be? 898 00:39:57,046 --> 00:39:58,657 I guess. 899 00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:01,137 Let's see that bitch do some Shakespeare. 900 00:40:01,181 --> 00:40:03,836 Who needs Shakespeare when you can shake your ass? 901 00:40:03,879 --> 00:40:05,794 Aren't you a Blackhawk? 902 00:40:05,838 --> 00:40:07,753 I was. I graduated last year. 903 00:40:07,796 --> 00:40:10,408 Moved on to the big times. I'm a Patriot now. 904 00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:12,453 Looks like your tits moved on at big time. 905 00:40:12,497 --> 00:40:14,063 You can dream. 906 00:40:14,107 --> 00:40:16,326 The both of you, you're hired. 907 00:40:16,370 --> 00:40:18,372 Thanks, honey. 908 00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:22,594 Shh. 909 00:40:25,118 --> 00:40:27,207 Hey, Uncle Joey. 910 00:40:27,250 --> 00:40:28,251 Hey, how's it going? 911 00:40:29,383 --> 00:40:30,602 Bouncing. 912 00:40:33,605 --> 00:40:35,128 We're... We're good. 913 00:40:35,171 --> 00:40:37,478 Everything's A-okay, sir. 914 00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:43,528 Everything's great. 915 00:40:43,571 --> 00:40:45,617 We're... Your investment's safe. 916 00:40:45,660 --> 00:40:47,967 Very confident. 917 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:49,621 All right, Lakey. You go get some rest. 918 00:40:49,664 --> 00:40:51,579 And don't let her go too crazy in her party. 919 00:40:51,623 --> 00:40:52,841 You got a big movie to shoot. 920 00:41:16,648 --> 00:41:18,650 Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 921 00:41:18,693 --> 00:41:20,565 Oh, yeah, no, that's good. All right. 922 00:41:20,608 --> 00:41:21,566 Bye, Lakey. 923 00:41:21,609 --> 00:41:22,871 Okay, bye! 924 00:41:24,351 --> 00:41:25,700 Whoo! 925 00:41:25,744 --> 00:41:27,833 Are you ready to party 926 00:41:27,876 --> 00:41:30,836 with the John, Stanley, and Ken Band? 927 00:41:30,879 --> 00:41:33,621 Give it up for them! 928 00:41:44,066 --> 00:41:45,067 Enjoy. 929 00:41:45,111 --> 00:41:46,678 Psst! 930 00:41:46,721 --> 00:41:48,201 Hey. 931 00:41:48,244 --> 00:41:50,029 What can I get you? 932 00:41:50,072 --> 00:41:52,031 Hey, want to make a little extra cash tonight? 933 00:41:52,074 --> 00:41:55,338 I'm kind of busy making drinks at the moment. 934 00:41:55,382 --> 00:41:58,994 On top of making drinks, extra cash. 935 00:41:59,038 --> 00:42:00,518 I'm not quite following. 936 00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:01,693 All you have to do 937 00:42:01,736 --> 00:42:04,130 is wear this. 938 00:42:04,173 --> 00:42:08,656 Uh, I'm sorry. I'm not into that kind of stuff. 939 00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,136 Dude, we're not gay. 940 00:42:10,179 --> 00:42:11,659 Oh, just metro. 941 00:42:13,574 --> 00:42:14,967 Come here. 942 00:42:15,010 --> 00:42:16,272 Don't be nervous. I don't bite. 943 00:42:16,316 --> 00:42:17,883 Come here. Come on. 944 00:42:17,926 --> 00:42:20,799 Want to play a killer in a movie? 945 00:42:20,842 --> 00:42:22,191 Dude, you'll be fine. Trust us. 946 00:42:22,235 --> 00:42:24,280 It's so fun. The killer. 947 00:42:24,324 --> 00:42:26,282 Uh, I don't know. 948 00:42:26,326 --> 00:42:27,762 It sounds kind of weird. 949 00:42:27,806 --> 00:42:29,198 It's a movie. 950 00:42:29,242 --> 00:42:30,591 Uh... 951 00:42:30,635 --> 00:42:31,853 Hey. 952 00:42:31,897 --> 00:42:32,941 What's up? 953 00:42:32,985 --> 00:42:34,377 What are you guys doing? 954 00:42:34,421 --> 00:42:37,772 We're trying to recruit the Welder Man. 955 00:42:37,816 --> 00:42:40,253 Doesn't the Welder Man get to make out 956 00:42:40,296 --> 00:42:42,385 with the lead female at the end of the movie? 957 00:42:42,429 --> 00:42:44,649 No. 958 00:42:44,692 --> 00:42:46,128 Ow! Fuck... 959 00:42:46,172 --> 00:42:47,434 I mean yes. 960 00:42:47,477 --> 00:42:49,567 And I just happen to be playing 961 00:42:49,610 --> 00:42:53,048 the, uh, lead female of this movie. 962 00:42:53,092 --> 00:42:55,964 Okay. It sounds pretty cool. 963 00:42:56,008 --> 00:42:57,531 I'll make out with you, too. 964 00:42:59,881 --> 00:43:02,797 All right. Count me in. 965 00:43:02,841 --> 00:43:05,626 You'll do it? Try this on. 966 00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:07,106 Ready? 967 00:43:10,805 --> 00:43:13,068 I'll take this, fat ass. 968 00:43:15,767 --> 00:43:17,725 Uh... 969 00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:19,858 yes, you're hired. 970 00:43:19,901 --> 00:43:21,337 Sweet. 971 00:43:23,339 --> 00:43:25,515 Okay, here we go. Dude, set the camera. 972 00:43:25,559 --> 00:43:26,797 Lake, what the fuck are you doing? 973 00:43:26,821 --> 00:43:27,885 Trying to get... Getting set... 974 00:43:27,909 --> 00:43:30,303 Okay, ready? Lake. You got this? 975 00:43:30,346 --> 00:43:32,784 Bedroom scene, Welder Man, take 1. Ready? Psst. 976 00:43:35,351 --> 00:43:36,657 - Camera set? - Set. 977 00:43:36,701 --> 00:43:37,963 Action. 978 00:43:38,006 --> 00:43:40,792 So what's this party we're going to? 979 00:43:40,835 --> 00:43:43,490 It's only the best sexy cheerleader Halloween party 980 00:43:43,533 --> 00:43:44,796 in all of L.A. 981 00:43:44,839 --> 00:43:46,667 Wow. I'm really excited. 982 00:43:46,711 --> 00:43:50,497 Why are you upset, my best friend in the world? 983 00:43:50,540 --> 00:43:51,977 She's my best friend. 984 00:43:52,020 --> 00:43:55,415 Oh, yeah. Uh, because the crazy Welder Man 985 00:43:55,458 --> 00:43:57,112 that used to stalk me in high school 986 00:43:57,156 --> 00:44:00,376 is being released from the asylum... 987 00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:01,421 tonight. 988 00:44:04,685 --> 00:44:06,295 We've done all we can for you, son. 989 00:44:06,339 --> 00:44:07,645 It's a big world out there. 990 00:44:07,688 --> 00:44:09,211 Keep your head on straight. Good luck. 991 00:44:09,255 --> 00:44:11,649 Thanks, doc. 992 00:44:11,692 --> 00:44:14,652 Oh, son, you might need this. 993 00:44:21,223 --> 00:44:23,661 See you around. 994 00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,358 All three: Tonight? 995 00:44:25,401 --> 00:44:27,273 Yes. And I'm afraid 996 00:44:27,316 --> 00:44:30,668 he may be lusting for cheerleader blood. 997 00:44:30,711 --> 00:44:33,061 - Oh, my gosh! - Oh, my gosh! 998 00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:37,109 You know, most psycho killers 999 00:44:37,152 --> 00:44:38,432 that get released from the asylum 1000 00:44:38,458 --> 00:44:40,939 just get a job at the post office or something. 1001 00:44:40,982 --> 00:44:43,724 But he said he wouldn't stop hunting 1002 00:44:43,768 --> 00:44:45,291 until he found me... 1003 00:44:45,334 --> 00:44:48,207 until he killed me... uh... 1004 00:44:48,250 --> 00:44:50,339 Uh, line? 1005 00:44:50,383 --> 00:44:51,471 Dead, God damn it. 1006 00:44:51,514 --> 00:44:53,299 Dead. 1007 00:44:53,342 --> 00:44:55,736 Hasn't it been, like, two years? 1008 00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:57,738 I'm sure he's forgotten all about you. 1009 00:44:57,782 --> 00:44:59,305 Wow. Bitch. 1010 00:44:59,348 --> 00:45:00,741 Skank. 1011 00:45:00,785 --> 00:45:01,960 Pole sucker. 1012 00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:04,702 - Oh! - That was not in the script. 1013 00:45:04,745 --> 00:45:06,399 It's improv. It's improv. be sexy. 1014 00:45:06,442 --> 00:45:08,531 Amateurs, amateurs, amateurs. 1015 00:45:08,575 --> 00:45:09,968 - It's okay. - Sorry. 1016 00:45:10,011 --> 00:45:11,709 You're probably right. 1017 00:45:11,752 --> 00:45:14,929 He probably has much better things to do tonight, 1018 00:45:14,973 --> 00:45:16,235 it being his first night. 1019 00:45:16,278 --> 00:45:17,715 Are you seeing what I'm seeing, bro? 1020 00:45:17,758 --> 00:45:19,064 Like jerk off. 1021 00:45:19,107 --> 00:45:20,389 Let's focus on more important things, 1022 00:45:20,413 --> 00:45:21,520 like our outfits for the party, 1023 00:45:21,544 --> 00:45:23,329 makeup, and boys. 1024 00:45:23,372 --> 00:45:24,809 All three: Yay! 1025 00:45:24,852 --> 00:45:26,724 That's why you're my BFFs. 1026 00:45:26,767 --> 00:45:28,813 Let's make out. 1027 00:45:28,856 --> 00:45:29,857 We got it. 1028 00:45:29,901 --> 00:45:31,337 Bitch. 1029 00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:32,555 Steady the camera, Lake. 1030 00:45:32,599 --> 00:45:33,643 Your breath smells. 1031 00:45:33,687 --> 00:45:34,906 Lake, steady the camera. 1032 00:45:34,949 --> 00:45:36,124 It smells like twat. 1033 00:45:36,168 --> 00:45:37,822 Bill: Come on. 1034 00:45:37,865 --> 00:45:39,258 - Bitch! - Stupid ho! 1035 00:45:39,301 --> 00:45:41,956 - I hate you! - You fucking slut! 1036 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,045 Bill: Yes. Keep going. 1037 00:45:50,835 --> 00:45:53,576 This is it. This is it. 1038 00:45:53,620 --> 00:45:56,101 All right, I can... I can hear the music. 1039 00:45:56,144 --> 00:45:58,103 This has got to be it. This has got to be it. 1040 00:45:58,146 --> 00:46:01,193 Whoa. That rat has your necklace on its neck. 1041 00:46:02,890 --> 00:46:05,632 Well, do you think you can go in there and get it? 1042 00:46:05,675 --> 00:46:06,851 Don't get smart on me, woman. 1043 00:46:06,894 --> 00:46:10,593 I am smart. I got a 2.7 on my GPS. 1044 00:46:10,637 --> 00:46:11,943 Now go get in there. 1045 00:46:12,944 --> 00:46:15,642 Horror has a face. 1046 00:46:15,685 --> 00:46:21,300 And you must make friends of horror. 1047 00:46:23,258 --> 00:46:24,433 Huh? 1048 00:46:24,477 --> 00:46:27,132 I'm going to get in there. Okay, come on. 1049 00:46:27,175 --> 00:46:29,525 Do you want a cookie? You want a cookie? 1050 00:46:29,569 --> 00:46:30,700 How's the baby? Want... 1051 00:46:33,051 --> 00:46:35,009 Grandma: Who's out there? 1052 00:46:35,053 --> 00:46:36,968 What's up? 1053 00:46:37,011 --> 00:46:39,057 Star quarterback scene, take 1. 1054 00:46:40,710 --> 00:46:42,669 And action. 1055 00:46:46,151 --> 00:46:48,109 That's Leland Smith, 1056 00:46:48,153 --> 00:46:50,459 the star quarterback at the local college. 1057 00:46:50,503 --> 00:46:51,765 Hey, what's up? 1058 00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:55,943 Hey, Leland. This is my girl, Ginger. 1059 00:46:55,987 --> 00:46:59,120 Hey, Ginger, uh... 1060 00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:02,645 I'm the star quarterback at State College. 1061 00:47:02,689 --> 00:47:04,125 Can we cut it, please? 1062 00:47:04,169 --> 00:47:05,474 What's up, dude? 1063 00:47:05,518 --> 00:47:08,260 You're just not quarterback material. 1064 00:47:08,303 --> 00:47:09,367 So it's just a movie, Billy. 1065 00:47:09,391 --> 00:47:10,697 I mean, you know. 1066 00:47:10,740 --> 00:47:13,091 You know what? I think you should play the kicker. 1067 00:47:13,134 --> 00:47:14,744 Oh! 1068 00:47:14,788 --> 00:47:16,331 I'm not playing the fucking kicker, bro. 1069 00:47:16,355 --> 00:47:17,965 You could play the tight end. 1070 00:47:18,009 --> 00:47:20,533 Yeah, and she should play the wide receiver. 1071 00:47:20,576 --> 00:47:22,883 - What? - I'm calling you a whore. 1072 00:47:22,927 --> 00:47:24,078 And you should play the jealous cunt. 1073 00:47:24,102 --> 00:47:26,060 - Slut. - Fuck you. 1074 00:47:26,104 --> 00:47:27,627 - Fuck you. - Hey, guys, please, 1075 00:47:27,670 --> 00:47:30,891 can we focus and get the fucking shot? 1076 00:47:30,935 --> 00:47:34,634 Ready? Lake, you're playing the fucking kicker. 1077 00:47:34,677 --> 00:47:37,158 Ready? And action. 1078 00:47:37,202 --> 00:47:38,943 - That's... - Leland Smith. 1079 00:47:38,986 --> 00:47:41,554 - He's the, uh... - I'm the star kicker. 1080 00:47:41,597 --> 00:47:43,197 - Finger sandwich? - Oh, yeah. Thank you. 1081 00:47:44,383 --> 00:47:45,819 Cut! 1082 00:47:46,820 --> 00:47:48,474 Pig shit in a blanket. 1083 00:47:48,517 --> 00:47:50,128 We're not serving that tonight, sir. 1084 00:47:50,171 --> 00:47:51,738 - No shit. - Thank you. 1085 00:47:51,781 --> 00:47:53,435 Ohh. 1086 00:47:53,479 --> 00:47:55,307 Jesus. 1087 00:47:55,350 --> 00:47:57,831 We got Cujo, and we got the crip. 1088 00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:58,832 Come on, Big Spender. 1089 00:47:58,876 --> 00:48:00,616 I don't do cripples. 1090 00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:02,444 Oh. We got to get that dog. 1091 00:48:02,488 --> 00:48:04,925 We got to get the dog. We got to get the present. 1092 00:48:04,969 --> 00:48:06,579 How are we going to get in there? 1093 00:48:06,622 --> 00:48:08,233 Stand back a little bit. Stand back. 1094 00:48:08,276 --> 00:48:10,061 I need some room for this. 1095 00:48:11,845 --> 00:48:14,065 Uh, all right. 1096 00:48:18,156 --> 00:48:20,201 Pimp hand. 1097 00:48:21,246 --> 00:48:22,856 Ah! 1098 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:23,857 Right? 1099 00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:26,120 Baby, oh, my God. 1100 00:48:26,164 --> 00:48:27,948 You go first. Go first. 1101 00:48:32,648 --> 00:48:35,521 Dude, I think we need to get the boob shot. 1102 00:48:35,564 --> 00:48:36,957 Yeah. 1103 00:48:37,001 --> 00:48:38,480 Here's what I'm thinking, guys. 1104 00:48:38,524 --> 00:48:40,526 Hi. Billy Sham, the director. 1105 00:48:40,569 --> 00:48:41,633 - What's your name? - Destiny. 1106 00:48:41,657 --> 00:48:42,702 Destiny, nice to meet you. 1107 00:48:42,745 --> 00:48:44,225 And Pipe... This is Piper. 1108 00:48:44,269 --> 00:48:45,835 I'm thinking you're going to saunter 1109 00:48:45,879 --> 00:48:47,315 into the pool, okay? 1110 00:48:47,359 --> 00:48:49,013 And you're going to take your tops off. 1111 00:48:49,056 --> 00:48:50,057 Isn't that great? 1112 00:48:50,101 --> 00:48:51,015 All right. 1113 00:48:51,058 --> 00:48:52,190 Thank you very much, Galaxy. 1114 00:48:52,233 --> 00:48:53,800 - All right, here we go. - Destiny. 1115 00:48:53,843 --> 00:48:55,019 All right. 1116 00:48:56,455 --> 00:48:58,500 These titties are going to boost my foreign sales. 1117 00:48:58,544 --> 00:49:00,111 Fucking A, dude. 1118 00:49:00,154 --> 00:49:01,503 Watch this. 1119 00:49:02,983 --> 00:49:06,030 And action. 1120 00:49:06,073 --> 00:49:07,814 No. I'm not doing this. 1121 00:49:07,857 --> 00:49:09,294 This isn't fair. I'm not doing it. 1122 00:49:09,337 --> 00:49:10,599 Look at her boobs. 1123 00:49:10,643 --> 00:49:12,036 Oh, horse shit. 1124 00:49:12,079 --> 00:49:14,168 I told you we shouldn't have depended on her. 1125 00:49:14,212 --> 00:49:16,257 Plus, my uncle will string us up by our dicks 1126 00:49:16,301 --> 00:49:17,476 if we show her tits. 1127 00:49:17,519 --> 00:49:18,825 Exactly, and especially not 1128 00:49:18,868 --> 00:49:20,522 before he buys me mine for my birthday. 1129 00:49:20,566 --> 00:49:22,002 Great. Great. 1130 00:49:24,483 --> 00:49:26,180 I told you I need this shot! 1131 00:49:26,224 --> 00:49:28,835 What do you guys want to do? Want to play poker? 1132 00:49:28,878 --> 00:49:30,141 Want to fucking play checkers? 1133 00:49:30,184 --> 00:49:31,533 You want to make a movie? 1134 00:49:31,577 --> 00:49:33,144 Tits, I need tits, guys. 1135 00:49:33,187 --> 00:49:35,015 Help me out here. 1136 00:49:35,059 --> 00:49:36,340 Why don't you just use a photo double? 1137 00:49:36,364 --> 00:49:38,627 A photo double at 3 a.m. in the morning? 1138 00:49:38,671 --> 00:49:41,587 Where am I going to find a fucking photo double? 1139 00:49:41,630 --> 00:49:42,980 Oranges, anybody? Juicy oranges? 1140 00:49:43,023 --> 00:49:44,851 I don't mind being in a bikini. 1141 00:49:44,894 --> 00:49:46,809 A bikini? 1142 00:49:46,853 --> 00:49:47,941 Yeah. 1143 00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:49,682 Hey, Destiny? Galaxy? What's your name? 1144 00:49:49,725 --> 00:49:51,640 - Destiny. - Take five? 1145 00:49:52,859 --> 00:49:54,992 Come over here for a second. 1146 00:49:55,035 --> 00:49:57,144 I told you this is the most pivotal scene in the movie. 1147 00:49:57,168 --> 00:49:59,083 - Melons? Bit melons? - Lake: I'll take some. 1148 00:50:03,087 --> 00:50:05,350 Oh. Look delicious. 1149 00:50:05,393 --> 00:50:07,221 Hi. I'm Lena Starr. 1150 00:50:07,265 --> 00:50:08,527 The star of Big Titty Nights? 1151 00:50:08,570 --> 00:50:09,571 Mm. You could tell? 1152 00:50:09,615 --> 00:50:11,051 I'm an actress, too. 1153 00:50:11,095 --> 00:50:14,663 Lena, please, not now. 1154 00:50:14,707 --> 00:50:16,883 Not now? 1155 00:51:04,757 --> 00:51:06,454 Welder Man, scene 69. 1156 00:51:06,498 --> 00:51:08,674 Naked girl in shower. Take 1. 1157 00:51:10,893 --> 00:51:13,418 - Camera set. - And action. 1158 00:51:25,343 --> 00:51:27,693 Cut. Shit. 1159 00:51:27,736 --> 00:51:28,955 What? 1160 00:51:28,998 --> 00:51:31,871 Who wears underwear in the shower? 1161 00:51:31,914 --> 00:51:33,960 I'm not showing my ass. 1162 00:51:34,961 --> 00:51:36,049 Of course you're not. 1163 00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:38,660 Pivotal love scene, take 20. 1164 00:51:38,704 --> 00:51:40,662 Right. I hate my job. 1165 00:51:40,706 --> 00:51:41,881 Okay, here we go. 1166 00:51:41,924 --> 00:51:43,404 And action. 1167 00:51:43,448 --> 00:51:44,623 Ohh! 1168 00:51:44,666 --> 00:51:46,059 Quick! 1169 00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:48,061 Barricade the door! 1170 00:51:49,758 --> 00:51:51,195 Aah! 1171 00:51:51,238 --> 00:51:54,633 Oh, Leland, how will we ever escape? 1172 00:51:54,676 --> 00:51:57,505 I will protect you. I love you. 1173 00:51:59,028 --> 00:52:00,552 - Hold on there. - Whoa! 1174 00:52:00,595 --> 00:52:01,640 Hey, what's up, dude? 1175 00:52:01,683 --> 00:52:03,163 Hide the camera. Hide the camera. 1176 00:52:03,207 --> 00:52:04,164 Hey, guy. 1177 00:52:04,208 --> 00:52:05,861 Sven, what's up, bro? 1178 00:52:05,905 --> 00:52:08,864 God damn it. We'll fix it in post. 1179 00:52:08,908 --> 00:52:10,518 And action. 1180 00:52:10,562 --> 00:52:12,041 I love you, too. 1181 00:52:12,085 --> 00:52:14,870 My breasts long for your embrace. 1182 00:52:17,786 --> 00:52:19,353 I'm wiping! 1183 00:52:19,397 --> 00:52:20,572 God damn it. 1184 00:52:20,615 --> 00:52:21,853 You better find another room, buddy, 1185 00:52:21,877 --> 00:52:24,184 or I'm going to stuff your dick up your ass. 1186 00:52:24,228 --> 00:52:25,794 Great, great, great. I like that. 1187 00:52:25,838 --> 00:52:27,013 Keep going. 1188 00:52:27,056 --> 00:52:28,797 Oh, darling, I will protect you. 1189 00:52:28,841 --> 00:52:30,625 Your eyes, your breath, your... 1190 00:52:30,669 --> 00:52:33,193 Oh, for the love of God! 1191 00:52:33,237 --> 00:52:34,325 Okay, okay. 1192 00:52:34,368 --> 00:52:36,196 Grandma: Lake, Lake, 1193 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:37,806 you better not be copulating. 1194 00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:39,504 Grandma's outside. 1195 00:52:39,547 --> 00:52:41,984 Fuck. Grandma. 1196 00:52:42,028 --> 00:52:44,335 Nothing, Grandma. I'm just... We're playing a game. 1197 00:52:44,378 --> 00:52:45,553 Patty cake. 1198 00:52:47,816 --> 00:52:50,123 - Come on, Lake. - Are you kidding me? 1199 00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,516 Lake: I got this. 1200 00:52:51,559 --> 00:52:52,952 Let me handle this. 1201 00:52:52,995 --> 00:52:55,737 Lake, we're in this mess because of you. 1202 00:52:55,781 --> 00:52:56,869 You suck. 1203 00:52:56,912 --> 00:52:58,218 You do! 1204 00:52:58,262 --> 00:53:01,221 God, crazy bitch. 1205 00:53:01,265 --> 00:53:02,265 Look out. 1206 00:53:05,704 --> 00:53:07,662 Grandma! 1207 00:53:07,706 --> 00:53:12,798 I was knocking and knocking and knocking. 1208 00:53:12,841 --> 00:53:16,149 Piper: Here you go. Upsie-daisy. 1209 00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:17,977 Everybody on your fucking marks. 1210 00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:19,457 Close the goddamn door. 1211 00:53:19,500 --> 00:53:20,501 Okay, reset. 1212 00:53:21,937 --> 00:53:23,852 - Fuck. - Geez. 1213 00:53:23,896 --> 00:53:25,289 Sven, go get the boom up. 1214 00:53:25,332 --> 00:53:27,334 Fucking cocksucker. Here we go. 1215 00:53:27,378 --> 00:53:28,596 - Camera set. - Set. 1216 00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:29,989 Action. 1217 00:53:30,032 --> 00:53:31,643 The way your ass... 1218 00:53:41,783 --> 00:53:42,784 Oh, God. 1219 00:53:42,828 --> 00:53:44,066 - I keep tasting... - Keep going. 1220 00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:45,439 Keep going. You're in love. 1221 00:53:45,483 --> 00:53:47,093 I love you. 1222 00:53:47,136 --> 00:53:50,139 Your eyes, your toes, your fingers. 1223 00:53:51,663 --> 00:53:53,230 Oh, mother of God. 1224 00:53:54,579 --> 00:53:56,668 Mother of God. 1225 00:54:00,715 --> 00:54:03,196 Fuck it. Montage. 1226 00:54:20,169 --> 00:54:21,301 Whoo! 1227 00:54:21,345 --> 00:54:23,172 Aah! 1228 00:54:35,881 --> 00:54:37,361 Woman: Are you ready? 1229 00:55:16,138 --> 00:55:17,575 Okay, so listen, Clifton, 1230 00:55:17,618 --> 00:55:19,316 I want you to do this thrusting... 1231 00:55:19,359 --> 00:55:20,554 Fire that bitch up. That's right. 1232 00:55:20,578 --> 00:55:21,579 Thrusting. 1233 00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:23,276 Then you get a big swiping motion 1234 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,775 Like you're hitting a baseball, right? 1235 00:55:24,799 --> 00:55:25,974 You lop the head off. 1236 00:55:26,018 --> 00:55:27,418 It's gonna flip, probably, you know, 1237 00:55:27,454 --> 00:55:29,389 720 degrees, going to land in the water, splashing. 1238 00:55:29,413 --> 00:55:31,347 I want you to hold that thing underwater like this... 1239 00:55:31,371 --> 00:55:32,771 - Yo, yo, yo, hey, hey. - What's up? 1240 00:55:32,807 --> 00:55:34,156 Don't direct my actor. 1241 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:35,375 Oh, your actor. 1242 00:55:35,419 --> 00:55:37,508 No, no. Hey, just trust me, okay? 1243 00:55:37,551 --> 00:55:39,379 - It confuses him. - Hey, I'm not confused. 1244 00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:40,467 You will be, trust me. 1245 00:55:40,511 --> 00:55:41,860 Okay, but he's right. 1246 00:55:41,903 --> 00:55:42,861 - Hey. - Okay, but... 1247 00:55:42,904 --> 00:55:43,905 - No. - If you... 1248 00:55:43,949 --> 00:55:45,777 There's no buts, okay? 1249 00:55:45,820 --> 00:55:47,039 It's actor, actor, 1250 00:55:47,082 --> 00:55:48,954 two actors back here, and the director. 1251 00:55:48,997 --> 00:55:50,172 You understand me? 1252 00:55:50,216 --> 00:55:52,305 If you listen to me, we'll make a good movie. 1253 00:55:52,349 --> 00:55:54,612 Now give me that fucking mask. 1254 00:55:54,655 --> 00:55:56,483 Okay? This is what I want. 1255 00:55:56,527 --> 00:55:57,808 I just want to put the helmet on right here. 1256 00:55:57,832 --> 00:55:58,790 I want to go in here. 1257 00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:00,400 Where's Tennessee? 1258 00:56:00,444 --> 00:56:01,793 What? 1259 00:56:01,836 --> 00:56:04,448 Where's Tennessee? She's supposed to be in this scene. 1260 00:56:04,491 --> 00:56:06,232 I don't want her in this scene. 1261 00:56:06,275 --> 00:56:08,277 Why? She's the best actress here, 1262 00:56:08,321 --> 00:56:09,409 besides me. 1263 00:56:09,453 --> 00:56:11,324 She's got a really hot rack. 1264 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,630 Ohh. 1265 00:56:12,673 --> 00:56:14,022 You know what? 1266 00:56:14,066 --> 00:56:14,980 Seriously? 1267 00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:16,329 Fuck this. 1268 00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:17,417 Fuck this. 1269 00:56:18,853 --> 00:56:20,028 Where are you going? 1270 00:56:20,072 --> 00:56:22,117 Hot tub. Fuck you guys. 1271 00:56:22,161 --> 00:56:24,555 Oh, now, Lena, you want to be a fucking director? 1272 00:56:25,947 --> 00:56:28,994 Well, guess what. You're not. 1273 00:56:29,037 --> 00:56:30,430 Take a hike. 1274 00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,128 Ohh. 1275 00:56:35,566 --> 00:56:37,219 Billy, you're just being difficult, dude. 1276 00:56:37,263 --> 00:56:38,438 Suck it. 1277 00:56:38,482 --> 00:56:40,266 Yeah, I'll tell you about sucking it, bro. 1278 00:56:40,309 --> 00:56:41,963 You're a fucking control freak, bro. 1279 00:56:42,007 --> 00:56:43,574 I can hardly even call you bro. 1280 00:56:43,617 --> 00:56:45,445 I fucking Googled your stupid fucking song 1281 00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:47,099 that you made about 20 years ago, 1282 00:56:47,142 --> 00:56:48,448 and now you're a has-been, 1283 00:56:48,492 --> 00:56:49,904 and that fucking pimp was right, homes. 1284 00:56:49,928 --> 00:56:51,016 It fucking sucks. 1285 00:56:59,111 --> 00:57:01,113 Pick up the camera. 1286 00:57:03,637 --> 00:57:05,160 Both: Action. 1287 00:57:29,184 --> 00:57:30,490 Aah! 1288 00:57:34,059 --> 00:57:35,234 Noogie! Noogie! 1289 00:57:35,277 --> 00:57:36,365 Damn it! 1290 00:57:36,409 --> 00:57:38,498 Noogie! Damn you! 1291 00:57:38,542 --> 00:57:40,544 - Fucking... - It's your fault. 1292 00:57:40,587 --> 00:57:42,676 It's your uncle Joey Prego's money, 1293 00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:44,417 and if you want to blow it 1294 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:46,854 by not listening to your director, 1295 00:57:46,898 --> 00:57:48,203 it's on you, bro. 1296 00:57:48,247 --> 00:57:49,553 You know what? 1297 00:57:50,858 --> 00:57:52,730 I quit. 1298 00:57:52,773 --> 00:57:54,645 You can't fucking quit, bro. 1299 00:57:54,688 --> 00:57:56,429 Oh, yeah. Well, guess what. 1300 00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:57,474 I just did. 1301 00:57:58,736 --> 00:58:01,478 I'm going to go get a cocktail. Hmm. 1302 00:58:26,590 --> 00:58:28,679 This is it. This is all done. 1303 00:58:29,897 --> 00:58:31,769 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. 1304 00:58:31,812 --> 00:58:34,815 Okay. I got a new plan. 1305 00:58:34,859 --> 00:58:37,296 We wait out the enemy, 1306 00:58:37,339 --> 00:58:40,517 and when the enemy comes to us, 1307 00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:41,953 we attack. 1308 00:58:41,996 --> 00:58:45,086 We attack, and we crush them sons of bitches. 1309 00:58:45,130 --> 00:58:47,132 I'm Alpha, you're Delta, 1310 00:58:47,175 --> 00:58:50,788 I'm Sigma, you're Veta... PETA... Beta... 1311 00:58:50,831 --> 00:58:52,137 Beta Pi. 1312 00:58:52,180 --> 00:58:53,573 Fucking yes. 1313 00:58:53,617 --> 00:58:56,924 Baby, you're my sexy soldier. 1314 00:59:00,232 --> 00:59:01,625 It's Tenn. I left 1315 00:59:01,668 --> 00:59:03,167 and went to this plastic surgeon's house. 1316 00:59:03,191 --> 00:59:04,932 They're giving out free anal bleaching. 1317 00:59:04,976 --> 00:59:06,586 Call me if you want to come. Bye. 1318 00:59:06,630 --> 00:59:07,631 Ohh! 1319 00:59:08,632 --> 00:59:11,460 Mm! I miss all the good shit. 1320 00:59:16,248 --> 00:59:18,642 Hey. There you are. 1321 00:59:23,690 --> 00:59:25,213 Come on. We're almost there. 1322 00:59:25,257 --> 00:59:26,432 We have to finish this. 1323 00:59:26,475 --> 00:59:28,652 Just go finish it with Tennessee. 1324 00:59:28,695 --> 00:59:30,479 What is wrong with you? 1325 00:59:30,523 --> 00:59:33,526 Nothing. Just obviously, you don't need me. 1326 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:36,485 Piper. I don't want you to think 1327 00:59:36,529 --> 00:59:38,444 that Tennessee is replacing you. 1328 00:59:38,487 --> 00:59:40,620 I'm just using her for her hot rack. 1329 00:59:40,664 --> 00:59:42,927 It'll be good in our movie. 1330 00:59:44,189 --> 00:59:46,147 She's got nothing on you, girl. 1331 00:59:46,191 --> 00:59:48,715 You're my real BFF. 1332 00:59:48,759 --> 00:59:49,760 Really? 1333 00:59:49,803 --> 00:59:51,457 Yes. Come on. 1334 00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:53,677 In this town, you got to step on people, 1335 00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:57,376 kill them in movies, sleep with their boyfriends. 1336 00:59:57,419 --> 01:00:00,031 It's all in a day's work. 1337 01:00:00,074 --> 01:00:02,033 But it doesn't mean that I don't love you. 1338 01:00:03,687 --> 01:00:05,819 I love you, too. 1339 01:00:05,863 --> 01:00:07,691 Now let's go get these skulking idiots 1340 01:00:07,734 --> 01:00:08,866 and finish the movie. 1341 01:00:08,909 --> 01:00:11,129 All we have to do is kill the Welder Man. 1342 01:00:11,172 --> 01:00:14,088 Okay. I just need to go pee really fast. 1343 01:00:14,132 --> 01:00:15,437 Uh, not in here. 1344 01:00:15,481 --> 01:00:16,917 Oh, come on. 1345 01:00:16,961 --> 01:00:18,049 Mm-mm. 1346 01:00:25,622 --> 01:00:27,014 Wait, wait, wait. Shh, shh. 1347 01:00:31,323 --> 01:00:34,674 Yo, that's that bitch that was with Billy Sham. 1348 01:00:34,718 --> 01:00:36,371 That's his girl, I think. 1349 01:01:00,308 --> 01:01:01,875 You okay? 1350 01:01:01,919 --> 01:01:06,837 Yeah, if you like being hit by a linebacker. 1351 01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,796 We got to put aside our pride and finish this thing. 1352 01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:11,078 Lena, how are we going to finish 1353 01:01:11,102 --> 01:01:12,494 without a fucking director? 1354 01:01:12,538 --> 01:01:14,932 I mean, I barely know how to tie my fucking shoes, 1355 01:01:14,975 --> 01:01:16,237 much less finish a movie. 1356 01:01:16,281 --> 01:01:17,543 You think I'm going to let 1357 01:01:17,586 --> 01:01:19,719 that has-been rapper white boy walk out on us 1358 01:01:19,763 --> 01:01:21,721 in the middle of our movie? 1359 01:01:21,765 --> 01:01:23,288 You want to be a star? 1360 01:01:23,331 --> 01:01:24,506 Yeah. 1361 01:01:24,550 --> 01:01:26,117 You got to start acting like one. 1362 01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:28,075 Now put your chin up. 1363 01:01:28,119 --> 01:01:30,034 Higher. 1364 01:01:31,035 --> 01:01:33,298 Now let's go get our director 1365 01:01:33,341 --> 01:01:34,778 and finish our movie. 1366 01:01:34,821 --> 01:01:36,127 You ready? 1367 01:01:36,170 --> 01:01:37,432 Sure. 1368 01:01:47,138 --> 01:01:48,705 Ah. 1369 01:01:53,884 --> 01:01:55,537 - Billy. - What's up? 1370 01:01:57,322 --> 01:01:59,716 How's Mr. Director? 1371 01:01:59,759 --> 01:02:00,717 Not anymore. 1372 01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:02,283 Just a guy in an outfit 1373 01:02:02,327 --> 01:02:04,198 trying to look like Johnny Depp. 1374 01:02:04,242 --> 01:02:06,984 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 1375 01:02:07,027 --> 01:02:09,638 I blew John, and you're a lot hotter. 1376 01:02:13,817 --> 01:02:15,470 Come on, Lena. 1377 01:02:15,514 --> 01:02:18,604 I mean, you've worked with real directors, 1378 01:02:18,647 --> 01:02:20,519 A-list directors. 1379 01:02:20,562 --> 01:02:21,912 It's like who am I? 1380 01:02:21,955 --> 01:02:24,784 You're Lena Starr, with two Rs. 1381 01:02:24,828 --> 01:02:27,656 I mean, the pimp was right. My song "Kick It" sucks. 1382 01:02:27,700 --> 01:02:30,659 I'm just a guy who got lucky with one song 1383 01:02:30,703 --> 01:02:33,097 20 years ago. 1384 01:02:33,140 --> 01:02:34,794 Like my daddy always said, 1385 01:02:34,838 --> 01:02:38,276 if you can't do yourself, you can't do anyone else. 1386 01:02:39,407 --> 01:02:41,540 - Hmm? - Hmm. 1387 01:02:41,583 --> 01:02:43,498 That didn't work. Uh... 1388 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:47,589 like you said, Apocalypse Now. 1389 01:02:47,633 --> 01:02:48,852 What would Coppola do? 1390 01:02:50,244 --> 01:02:51,395 A giant line, an Asian hooker, 1391 01:02:51,419 --> 01:02:52,464 and call it a day? 1392 01:02:52,507 --> 01:02:55,032 Right, but the next day, 1393 01:02:55,075 --> 01:02:56,424 what would he do? 1394 01:02:56,468 --> 01:02:58,600 You had your hooker and blow night last night. 1395 01:02:58,644 --> 01:02:59,776 Right. 1396 01:02:59,819 --> 01:03:01,299 Tonight we make film history. 1397 01:03:01,342 --> 01:03:02,822 Tonight we make a movie 1398 01:03:02,866 --> 01:03:04,650 that our friends, our family, 1399 01:03:04,693 --> 01:03:06,783 our frenemies that we only want to make jealous 1400 01:03:06,826 --> 01:03:08,610 that Breaking the Wind, 1401 01:03:08,654 --> 01:03:10,090 now entitled The Welder Man, 1402 01:03:10,134 --> 01:03:11,613 is a movie to be taken seriously. 1403 01:03:11,657 --> 01:03:12,832 Are you with me? 1404 01:03:12,876 --> 01:03:14,312 Yeah. 1405 01:03:17,358 --> 01:03:18,446 No way. 1406 01:03:18,490 --> 01:03:20,100 Come over here. I don't want to hear it. 1407 01:03:20,144 --> 01:03:21,188 Now! 1408 01:03:22,842 --> 01:03:25,584 Now you two idiots better kiss and make up. 1409 01:03:25,627 --> 01:03:27,716 Lena Starr posted this on my web site, 1410 01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,197 and I am not removing it. You hear me? 1411 01:03:34,723 --> 01:03:36,247 Can we have a minute, please? 1412 01:03:36,290 --> 01:03:37,335 Oh, yeah. 1413 01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:40,904 Thank you, Lena. 1414 01:03:40,947 --> 01:03:42,079 Mm-hmm. 1415 01:03:46,431 --> 01:03:50,174 Sorry for being so demanding. 1416 01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:53,655 Apology accepted. 1417 01:03:53,699 --> 01:03:56,310 You're a very passionate director. 1418 01:03:56,354 --> 01:03:59,183 And you are a passionate actor, 1419 01:03:59,226 --> 01:04:01,185 dedicated and true. 1420 01:04:01,228 --> 01:04:03,361 Thank you. No one's ever told me that before. 1421 01:04:03,404 --> 01:04:05,537 Thank you. 1422 01:04:05,580 --> 01:04:07,582 Also, just FYI, 1423 01:04:07,626 --> 01:04:09,758 the eyeliner really brings out the green in your eyes. 1424 01:04:09,802 --> 01:04:11,108 It's a good look. 1425 01:04:11,151 --> 01:04:12,892 Dude, you have me, a passionate director. 1426 01:04:12,936 --> 01:04:15,329 Okay, well, hey, Grey Goose. 1427 01:04:15,373 --> 01:04:16,765 Gets you loose. 1428 01:04:16,809 --> 01:04:18,158 Boom. 1429 01:04:18,202 --> 01:04:20,030 Did we kiss and make up? 1430 01:04:20,073 --> 01:04:21,118 - Yep. - Yep. 1431 01:04:21,161 --> 01:04:23,468 - Ooh. I missed it? - Nope. 1432 01:04:23,511 --> 01:04:26,166 Welder Mandeath scene, take 1. 1433 01:04:27,951 --> 01:04:29,082 Here we go. Ready? 1434 01:04:29,126 --> 01:04:30,170 Camera set. 1435 01:04:30,214 --> 01:04:31,650 And action. 1436 01:04:41,225 --> 01:04:44,228 Wait. Don't I get to kiss the lead female? 1437 01:04:44,271 --> 01:04:46,708 - Ohh. - Cut. 1438 01:04:46,752 --> 01:04:47,927 Lena. 1439 01:04:54,368 --> 01:04:56,936 Okay. Back to 1. Thank you. 1440 01:04:56,980 --> 01:04:58,851 Picture's up? Camera set? 1441 01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:00,287 - Camera set. - Action. 1442 01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:19,437 Cut. Print. That's a wrap. 1443 01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:21,830 Not so fast. 1444 01:05:21,874 --> 01:05:24,137 I know what you boner heads are up to. 1445 01:05:24,181 --> 01:05:27,184 You lost my Joey's money, and I'm going to tell him. 1446 01:05:27,227 --> 01:05:29,229 Oh, yeah? And I'll tell the insurance company 1447 01:05:29,273 --> 01:05:30,578 that you're a fake. 1448 01:05:30,622 --> 01:05:32,711 Ohh. Prove it. 1449 01:05:32,754 --> 01:05:34,147 Piper shot a sweet video 1450 01:05:34,191 --> 01:05:36,367 of you jazzercising last weekend. 1451 01:05:36,410 --> 01:05:38,151 - Ohh! You wouldn't. - I will. 1452 01:05:38,195 --> 01:05:39,457 Now get the fuck home. 1453 01:05:39,500 --> 01:05:41,241 Ohh! Pecker head. 1454 01:05:41,285 --> 01:05:42,939 Yeah. 1455 01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:46,986 Hello. 1456 01:05:47,030 --> 01:05:50,120 Quid quo pro, motherfucker. 1457 01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:52,687 Hey, The Hangover. I love that movie. 1458 01:05:52,731 --> 01:05:53,819 No, no, no, no. 1459 01:05:53,862 --> 01:05:55,299 Something for something. 1460 01:05:55,342 --> 01:05:56,996 All right, you got my diamond necklace, 1461 01:05:57,040 --> 01:05:59,477 and now I got your retarded 1462 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:02,219 just-out-of-rehab Cousin Piper. 1463 01:06:02,262 --> 01:06:03,655 Mm-ha ha ha! 1464 01:06:03,698 --> 01:06:04,917 Mwa ha! 1465 01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:06,919 Okay, so what do you want, bro? 1466 01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:08,529 My jacket 1467 01:06:08,573 --> 01:06:10,705 your shitty-ass rapper friend bought, all right? 1468 01:06:10,749 --> 01:06:12,751 It had my shit in the pocket, 1469 01:06:12,794 --> 01:06:15,101 and I want it back. All right? 1470 01:06:15,145 --> 01:06:16,929 Now it's around that ugly-ass dog 1471 01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:19,018 that looks like a rat. 1472 01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:20,541 Give it back, motherfucker. 1473 01:06:20,585 --> 01:06:22,369 Okay, so let me get this straight. 1474 01:06:22,413 --> 01:06:23,718 We keep the necklace, 1475 01:06:23,762 --> 01:06:26,025 and you keep Piper? That's awesome. 1476 01:06:26,069 --> 01:06:27,592 I can get my room back. 1477 01:06:27,635 --> 01:06:29,463 Give me the phone, stupid... 1478 01:06:29,507 --> 01:06:30,682 What? 1479 01:06:30,725 --> 01:06:32,075 Listen, pimp, 1480 01:06:32,118 --> 01:06:33,859 you can make fun of our dog, 1481 01:06:33,902 --> 01:06:37,080 but you will not make fun of my song "Kick It." 1482 01:06:37,123 --> 01:06:38,951 Oh, you mean "Kick It"? That sucks. 1483 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,518 That song sucks. 1484 01:06:40,561 --> 01:06:42,346 "Kick It" sucks a dick. 1485 01:06:42,389 --> 01:06:44,913 Quid quo pro. 1486 01:06:44,957 --> 01:06:47,133 We're coming to get Piper back. 1487 01:06:47,177 --> 01:06:49,440 You can keep your piece of crap necklace. 1488 01:06:49,483 --> 01:06:51,833 Ho ho ho, now we talking. 1489 01:06:51,877 --> 01:06:53,966 Meet me, 15 minutes, 1490 01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:57,056 Red Rat Ranch, motherfucker. 1491 01:06:57,100 --> 01:06:58,884 Bring it. 1492 01:06:58,927 --> 01:07:01,147 You bitch. 1493 01:07:01,191 --> 01:07:03,236 Get me my fur coat. 1494 01:07:12,332 --> 01:07:13,899 Look who it is, motherfuckers. 1495 01:07:13,942 --> 01:07:15,292 It's Billy Sham, 1496 01:07:15,335 --> 01:07:18,295 one-hit wonder rapping motherfucker. 1497 01:07:18,338 --> 01:07:21,646 Kick it and stick it and ru... 1498 01:07:21,689 --> 01:07:24,301 Yo, ask that motherfucker to take that mask off, 1499 01:07:24,344 --> 01:07:26,651 all right? That shit is freaking me out. 1500 01:07:26,694 --> 01:07:29,088 Hey, short round, it ain't that funny. Lose it. 1501 01:07:29,132 --> 01:07:30,263 Cool, dude. 1502 01:07:31,917 --> 01:07:34,702 Where's the necklace, motherfucker? 1503 01:07:36,269 --> 01:07:37,705 Piper: What up, freaks! 1504 01:07:37,749 --> 01:07:40,621 Whoo! These guys know how to party. 1505 01:07:40,665 --> 01:07:42,058 That's right. 1506 01:07:42,101 --> 01:07:44,277 I just smoked a blot with my new BFF. 1507 01:07:44,321 --> 01:07:46,149 Oh, baby, I'll play like BFF. 1508 01:07:46,192 --> 01:07:47,672 Shut the fuck up, man! 1509 01:07:47,715 --> 01:07:49,282 We're in a standoff here. 1510 01:07:49,326 --> 01:07:51,719 I just want some cheesecake. 1511 01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:53,982 What the fuck's so funny? 1512 01:07:54,026 --> 01:07:55,288 Helmet, maybe? 1513 01:07:55,332 --> 01:07:58,074 You look like a loser, Lakey. 1514 01:07:58,117 --> 01:08:00,989 Focus, focus, people. 1515 01:08:01,033 --> 01:08:02,948 - Hey, hand her over. - Zip! 1516 01:08:02,991 --> 01:08:04,297 Piper, come here. 1517 01:08:04,341 --> 01:08:07,083 No. I don't want to go home. 1518 01:08:07,126 --> 01:08:11,522 50 for the mouth piece, and 75 for the bung piece. 1519 01:08:11,565 --> 01:08:13,045 Piper, get your drunk twat over here. 1520 01:08:13,089 --> 01:08:14,655 Will you take 20 for the bung piece? 1521 01:08:14,699 --> 01:08:15,961 Shut up, motherfucker. 1522 01:08:16,004 --> 01:08:19,182 Yo, she with us now, right? So back up. 1523 01:08:19,225 --> 01:08:20,879 I'm coming to get you. 1524 01:08:20,922 --> 01:08:22,185 Whoa! Hey, puta male! 1525 01:08:22,228 --> 01:08:23,882 Watch it. 1526 01:08:23,925 --> 01:08:26,450 Hey, that's that movie bitch. 1527 01:08:26,493 --> 01:08:28,147 Oh, yeah. 1528 01:08:28,191 --> 01:08:30,410 Oh, yeah. I seen her in commercials and shit 1529 01:08:30,454 --> 01:08:32,282 with the... The Haug's Jr., man. 1530 01:08:32,325 --> 01:08:35,502 I've been eating roast beef ever since I saw that bitch. 1531 01:08:35,546 --> 01:08:36,851 She good. 1532 01:08:36,895 --> 01:08:39,506 Yo, thanks, baby. Good thinking. 1533 01:08:39,550 --> 01:08:40,594 Look at that shit, right? 1534 01:08:40,638 --> 01:08:44,337 Quid pro quo... not! 1535 01:08:44,381 --> 01:08:46,339 Right? Something for nothing 1536 01:08:46,383 --> 01:08:49,560 because now we got your ho, and we got the diamonds. 1537 01:08:49,603 --> 01:08:52,345 That's right. 1538 01:08:52,389 --> 01:08:55,348 Betrayal. You white cracker-ass, 1539 01:08:55,392 --> 01:08:58,917 dog-killing, BFF-stealing motherfucker! 1540 01:09:03,965 --> 01:09:06,316 That shit isn't even real, stupid. 1541 01:09:06,359 --> 01:09:09,971 I got that from the swap meet. $10. 1542 01:09:10,015 --> 01:09:10,972 Piper, come on. 1543 01:09:11,016 --> 01:09:12,626 - Hey, back up. - Whoa, whoa. 1544 01:09:12,670 --> 01:09:14,280 All you back up and shit. 1545 01:09:14,324 --> 01:09:15,823 We got the diamonds, and we got the ho. 1546 01:09:15,847 --> 01:09:17,849 - Motherfucker. - Piper: Whoo! 1547 01:09:17,892 --> 01:09:20,808 Clitinators, mount up. 1548 01:09:20,852 --> 01:09:21,809 Wh-What? 1549 01:09:21,853 --> 01:09:23,637 Let's go! 1550 01:09:23,681 --> 01:09:25,639 Bye, bitches. 1551 01:09:28,251 --> 01:09:30,035 Sven! 1552 01:09:30,078 --> 01:09:31,776 In the game. 1553 01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:35,910 Set it up! 1554 01:09:46,007 --> 01:09:47,705 Set it up. 1555 01:09:47,748 --> 01:09:52,100 Move 69! 1556 01:09:52,144 --> 01:09:54,451 Sven Special! 1557 01:09:54,494 --> 01:09:57,671 And... hike! 1558 01:10:31,314 --> 01:10:34,055 Aah! 1559 01:10:59,603 --> 01:11:02,736 Baby? Baby? Are you okay? 1560 01:11:02,780 --> 01:11:05,304 Baby, you saved my necklace. 1561 01:11:05,348 --> 01:11:08,394 Hey, honey, you want to go get some chicken and waffles? 1562 01:11:08,438 --> 01:11:10,048 Okay, let's go, baby. 1563 01:11:10,091 --> 01:11:12,137 Come on, get your ass up. Come on. 1564 01:11:12,180 --> 01:11:14,052 Kicker my ass. 1565 01:11:14,095 --> 01:11:15,314 Good job, buddy. 1566 01:11:15,358 --> 01:11:16,446 Whoo! 1567 01:11:42,820 --> 01:11:44,648 Here he comes. 1568 01:11:49,870 --> 01:11:52,743 Oh, God. I think I just shit myself. 1569 01:11:55,572 --> 01:11:56,834 Everything's cool. 1570 01:11:56,877 --> 01:11:58,183 It's fucking cool, bro. 1571 01:11:58,226 --> 01:11:59,346 We're cool. Oh, we're fucked. 1572 01:12:04,363 --> 01:12:06,147 Daddy! 1573 01:12:06,191 --> 01:12:07,932 Hi, princess. 1574 01:12:07,975 --> 01:12:08,976 I missed you. 1575 01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:11,196 I missed you. Who's this? 1576 01:12:11,239 --> 01:12:13,154 Just call me Mommy. 1577 01:12:13,198 --> 01:12:15,331 Piper, we talked about this. 1578 01:12:15,374 --> 01:12:17,158 Be a good girl for Daddy, okay? 1579 01:12:17,202 --> 01:12:19,204 - Okay. - All right. 1580 01:12:19,247 --> 01:12:20,640 I'm so glad you're home. 1581 01:12:20,684 --> 01:12:22,076 Yeah, I'd better be, too. 1582 01:12:25,732 --> 01:12:27,560 Hi. I'm Lena Starr. 1583 01:12:27,604 --> 01:12:28,779 Well, hello. 1584 01:12:28,822 --> 01:12:31,651 Huge Titty Nights. Big fan. 1585 01:12:31,695 --> 01:12:33,392 Thank you. 1586 01:12:33,436 --> 01:12:34,915 Daddy, we have a surprise for you. 1587 01:12:34,959 --> 01:12:36,134 Oh, really? 1588 01:12:36,177 --> 01:12:38,571 Uncle Joey, listen, it's something special. 1589 01:12:38,615 --> 01:12:39,766 I think you're going to like it. 1590 01:12:39,790 --> 01:12:41,313 I'd better. 1591 01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:43,097 Hi. William Christopher Sham. 1592 01:12:48,451 --> 01:12:51,889 Lakey, time is money. 1593 01:12:51,932 --> 01:12:54,065 My money. 1594 01:12:54,108 --> 01:12:56,763 So let's get this shit show on the road, shall we? 1595 01:12:56,807 --> 01:12:57,982 Yeah. 1596 01:13:03,553 --> 01:13:04,704 Hi, Mr. Prego. I'm very excited 1597 01:13:04,728 --> 01:13:05,879 to show you our film tonight. 1598 01:13:05,903 --> 01:13:07,252 It's going to be great. 1599 01:13:07,295 --> 01:13:08,340 It's been awesome. 1600 01:13:08,384 --> 01:13:09,535 It's been a wonderful experience, 1601 01:13:09,559 --> 01:13:11,212 and I cannot wait to show you... 1602 01:13:11,256 --> 01:13:13,432 Shut the fuck up and grab some wood, okay, Shampoo? 1603 01:13:13,476 --> 01:13:14,651 Roger that. 1604 01:13:55,735 --> 01:13:56,867 Whoo! 1605 01:14:07,791 --> 01:14:10,315 Aah! 1606 01:14:32,293 --> 01:14:33,686 So what did you think? 1607 01:14:51,574 --> 01:14:52,574 That... 1608 01:14:54,664 --> 01:14:55,969 was... 1609 01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:01,497 - brilliant! - Yes. 1610 01:15:01,540 --> 01:15:03,847 You guys had hot chicks. 1611 01:15:03,890 --> 01:15:05,631 You had hot chicks as cheerleaders. 1612 01:15:05,675 --> 01:15:07,459 You had hot chicks and cheerleaders 1613 01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:08,852 and tits! 1614 01:15:08,895 --> 01:15:13,030 Glorious, glorious, la-la-la-la tits! 1615 01:15:13,073 --> 01:15:17,513 What more, sweet Baby Jesus in the fucking manger, 1616 01:15:17,556 --> 01:15:20,385 does the movie public need, do I ask you? 1617 01:15:20,428 --> 01:15:22,430 Holy shit! 1618 01:15:22,474 --> 01:15:25,825 Lakey, you're not retarded. 1619 01:15:25,869 --> 01:15:27,348 You did a great job. 1620 01:15:27,392 --> 01:15:29,786 No more pounding nails for you, pal. 1621 01:15:29,829 --> 01:15:31,831 It's nothing but hot chicks of choice for you 1622 01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:33,354 from here on out. 1623 01:15:34,442 --> 01:15:35,879 Sham-a-long-a-ding-dong? 1624 01:15:35,922 --> 01:15:37,271 Yes, sir. 1625 01:15:37,315 --> 01:15:38,901 You're going to have to change that name, son. 1626 01:15:38,925 --> 01:15:40,666 You're going to be big... huge! 1627 01:15:41,885 --> 01:15:44,322 Fuck Kevin Smith. Fuck Lee Scott. 1628 01:15:44,365 --> 01:15:46,846 Gonna blow his ass off the map. 1629 01:15:46,890 --> 01:15:48,631 My little starlet. 1630 01:15:48,674 --> 01:15:50,981 My little sweetheart, my little princess. 1631 01:15:51,024 --> 01:15:56,203 Look at what you can do when you're sober. 1632 01:15:56,247 --> 01:15:58,771 We always knew you'd take after Grandma. 1633 01:15:58,815 --> 01:16:00,860 I'm so proud. 1634 01:16:00,904 --> 01:16:05,082 And, Lena, you ever need a sugar daddy... 1635 01:16:06,866 --> 01:16:08,520 you know who to call. 1636 01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:10,478 Oh, Papa Prego. 1637 01:16:10,522 --> 01:16:13,046 I'm not sure you could tame this horse. 1638 01:16:13,090 --> 01:16:15,658 Pfft. Sweetheart, you ever want to take a ride, 1639 01:16:15,701 --> 01:16:17,573 all you got to do is saddle up. 1640 01:16:17,616 --> 01:16:19,836 Chk-chk. Giddyup. 1641 01:16:23,056 --> 01:16:26,146 As much as it pains me to say this, boys, 1642 01:16:26,190 --> 01:16:28,105 you didn't fuck it up. 1643 01:16:28,148 --> 01:16:30,020 Yes! Yes! 1644 01:16:34,677 --> 01:16:37,244 Group hug. Eee! 1645 01:16:48,168 --> 01:16:49,692 Get it. Get it, son, get it. 1646 01:16:54,697 --> 01:16:56,307 Hey, guys, look what I got. 1647 01:16:56,350 --> 01:16:57,656 What, birthday boobs? 1648 01:16:57,700 --> 01:17:00,093 No. That, too. First class tickets. 1649 01:17:00,137 --> 01:17:01,442 Cool. 1650 01:17:01,486 --> 01:17:04,707 Whoa. Uncle Joey Prego hooked us up 1651 01:17:04,750 --> 01:17:05,969 with a rap gig? 1652 01:17:06,012 --> 01:17:08,667 Close. Lena hooked us up. 1653 01:17:08,711 --> 01:17:10,277 We're going to Hawaii. 1654 01:17:13,106 --> 01:17:15,674 I've never flown first class before. 1655 01:17:15,718 --> 01:17:17,807 We're just staying at one of my father's resorts. 1656 01:17:17,850 --> 01:17:18,808 No biggie. 1657 01:17:18,851 --> 01:17:20,766 Did you say resorts, plural? 1658 01:17:20,810 --> 01:17:23,682 My real name isn't Lena Starr, silly. 1659 01:17:23,726 --> 01:17:25,031 It's Seasons. 1660 01:17:25,075 --> 01:17:26,163 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1661 01:17:26,206 --> 01:17:29,340 As in Seven Seasons Resort and Spa? 1662 01:17:29,383 --> 01:17:30,689 Bingo. 1663 01:17:31,821 --> 01:17:35,955 Oh. That was my idea from before. 1664 01:17:35,999 --> 01:17:38,131 We could have just used my credit card 1665 01:17:38,175 --> 01:17:39,306 to finish the movie. 1666 01:17:39,350 --> 01:17:40,307 Oh, well. 1667 01:17:40,351 --> 01:17:42,919 Can you say "sequel"? 1668 01:17:42,962 --> 01:17:44,790 Not so fast! 1669 01:17:44,834 --> 01:17:45,965 Lake: Grandma! 1670 01:17:46,009 --> 01:17:48,881 Me and sugar pants are tying the knot. 1671 01:18:00,284 --> 01:18:02,025 Nobody's perfect. 1672 01:18:26,049 --> 01:18:28,312 Told you, this is the most pivoval scene in the movie. 1673 01:18:28,355 --> 01:18:30,140 Two... 1674 01:18:33,534 --> 01:18:35,580 Where am I going to get a photo double... 1675 01:18:35,623 --> 01:18:37,538 Juicy oranges? 1676 01:18:37,582 --> 01:18:39,279 What did you just say? 1677 01:18:46,330 --> 01:18:47,984 Just chuck it. 1678 01:18:48,027 --> 01:18:49,463 Director: Cut. 1679 01:18:49,507 --> 01:18:51,683 You got punched right in the face, dude. 1680 01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:53,163 By a woman. 1681 01:18:53,206 --> 01:18:54,730 Oh. 1682 01:18:54,773 --> 01:18:56,949 And we gave you some Valium. 1683 01:18:56,993 --> 01:18:59,604 Oh, cool. How many? 1684 01:18:59,647 --> 01:19:00,736 One. 1685 01:19:02,650 --> 01:19:04,130 Three. 1686 01:19:04,174 --> 01:19:06,654 Hello, Clarice. 1687 01:19:06,698 --> 01:19:08,439 You want answers? 1688 01:19:08,482 --> 01:19:10,789 Cock! I heard it. I heard that. 1689 01:19:10,833 --> 01:19:13,139 My ball... Mmm. 1690 01:19:13,183 --> 01:19:15,751 Not a finger! 1691 01:19:15,794 --> 01:19:17,709 Huh! 1692 01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:19,102 All right, listen, baby, 1693 01:19:19,145 --> 01:19:20,364 I got you something, too, man, 1694 01:19:20,407 --> 01:19:22,279 for all... all those times 1695 01:19:22,322 --> 01:19:24,237 you're getting your hole punched in. 1696 01:19:24,281 --> 01:19:25,456 St. Bernard at home 1697 01:19:25,499 --> 01:19:26,805 all big and furry. 1698 01:19:26,849 --> 01:19:28,764 And we could just cut her hair off 1699 01:19:28,807 --> 01:19:30,026 and rip that shit. 1700 01:19:30,069 --> 01:19:32,855 No, you stupid fucking n... I... 1701 01:19:32,898 --> 01:19:34,160 Got to get the jacket, bitch! 1702 01:19:34,204 --> 01:19:36,641 Let's get the back... Jacket, bitch! 1703 01:19:36,684 --> 01:19:38,121 Go get her! 1704 01:19:38,164 --> 01:19:39,644 Carry me, bitch. Get on my back! 1705 01:19:39,687 --> 01:19:41,472 We got to get these motherfuckers. 1706 01:19:42,647 --> 01:19:43,822 Director: Look at each other. 1707 01:19:44,910 --> 01:19:46,172 Good, good. Cut. 1708 01:19:46,216 --> 01:19:47,391 I can't help... 1709 01:19:53,963 --> 01:19:55,268 crush them sons of bitches. 1710 01:19:55,312 --> 01:19:57,618 I'm Alpha, you're Delta... 1711 01:19:57,662 --> 01:20:00,839 I'm Sigma, you're Veta... PETA... Beta... 1712 01:20:00,883 --> 01:20:02,623 Beta Pi. 1713 01:20:02,667 --> 01:20:03,581 Fucking yes. 1714 01:20:03,624 --> 01:20:05,844 Fuck the enemy. No, wait. 1715 01:20:06,889 --> 01:20:08,455 Baby... 1716 01:20:08,499 --> 01:20:10,849 I think I want to fuck you right now. 1717 01:20:10,893 --> 01:20:12,503 I think I have to drop... 1718 01:20:19,336 --> 01:20:20,685 Pimp hand. 1719 01:20:20,728 --> 01:20:21,904 Sometimes! 1720 01:20:21,947 --> 01:20:24,123 Can we do it again? 1721 01:20:31,652 --> 01:20:34,830 Which one of you two guys is first? 1722 01:20:34,873 --> 01:20:37,006 Gobble, gobble. 1723 01:20:40,096 --> 01:20:41,496 Director: And cut. Okay, let's go... 1724 01:20:46,232 --> 01:20:48,539 Yeah, Shamrocks! 1725 01:20:51,150 --> 01:20:52,151 Bam! 107009