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Previously on
"Reginald the Vampire"...
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00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:05,179
I've never felt
like this before.
3
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:07,398
He is everything
in the world to me.
4
00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:08,965
I'm looking
for a particular herb.
5
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,053
It's called herb-of-the-cross.
6
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,924
The blood we take can heal them
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00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,578
if we give it back.
- Listen to me.
8
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:14,797
Don't worry, Reginald.
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00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,059
It'll be over
10
00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:17,713
before you know what hit you.
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00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,236
There's no way that Sarah--
12
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,630
my Sarah--
is a vampire slayer.
13
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,893
Here.
This'll calm you down.
14
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,638
[dramatic musical sting]
15
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,379
[eerie dreamy music]
16
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[sighs]
17
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,558
♪ ♪
18
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:39,474
[bird chirping]
19
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,171
Hey, Mr. Bluebird.
20
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:44,131
Ain't life just grand?
21
00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:46,742
[giggles]
[skids squeakily, thuds]
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00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:49,571
♪ My name is Nikki ♪
23
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:52,443
♪ His name is Reggie ♪
24
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,619
♪ His voice
is like an angel's ♪
25
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:59,407
♪ Every word he says
just melts me ♪
26
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,409
♪ Oh, where is he? ♪
27
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:04,064
♪ Have you seen him? ♪
28
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,850
♪ He left me at this hotel ♪
29
00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,504
♪ While I was sleeping ♪
30
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,897
♪ But I'm gonna find him ♪
31
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♪ Even if it takes all day ♪
32
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:19,383
♪ 'Cause I'm in love ♪
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00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:23,039
♪ With Reginald the vampire ♪
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♪ I've got new feelings ♪
35
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:30,002
♪ That he's inspired ♪
36
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,571
♪ And I'll give him
all the love ♪
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00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:36,400
♪ That he requires ♪
38
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,316
Once I find him.
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00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,669
[gentle orchestral music]
40
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:47,194
♪ ♪
41
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,717
I'm going
to make a wild guess.
42
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,111
Just a stab in the dark,
43
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,852
you're looking for Reginald.
44
00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:56,116
About 5'5".
Cute smile.
45
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,552
- Mm-hmm.
- Bald.
46
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,293
♪ Yes, I am ♪
47
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:03,166
♪ Have you seen him? ♪
48
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,515
[echoes]
49
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:05,603
Yes.
50
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:06,735
No.
51
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,693
Don't care.
52
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,133
If I didn't have
a busy morning planned
53
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,395
looking for the man I love,
54
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you and I would be knee-deep
55
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:20,096
in your intestines by now.
56
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,754
[light ambient music]
57
00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:27,321
[sighs]
Here you go.
58
00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:28,713
- Thank you.
- Have a good day.
59
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,630
♪ ♪
60
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,415
Hi.
Is Reginald here?
61
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:37,069
Why is everyone looking
for Reginald?
62
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,593
If you were looking
for someone,
63
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,856
wouldn't Reginald
be your first choice?
64
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,946
Probably not.
65
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,079
I mean, maybe,
but no, probably not.
66
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,908
Do you know what's weird?
- Every single time.
67
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,997
I feel like I should
be searching for someone,
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00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:54,870
but I don't know who it is
or why I feel like that.
69
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,611
But no matter what I do,
70
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,265
I can't get the idea
outta my head.
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00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:02,138
Golly, that's interesting.
72
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,705
And as much
as I would love to stay
73
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,576
and dig deeper
into your head...
74
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:10,015
I must continue my search
for Reginald,
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00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:13,018
the bestest, kindest,
roundest--
76
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,847
- Hi. I'm Claire.
- Hi, Claire.
77
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,197
Do you know where Reginald is?
78
00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:20,809
But I know him.
79
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,985
We're basically best friends.
80
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,856
Maybe you and me can talk
for a while
81
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,945
and that'll help you find him?
82
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:28,556
Can I ask you
a personal question?
83
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,514
Ask away, little human.
84
00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:32,299
You're a vampire.
Don't try to it.
85
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,649
- Statement, not a question.
- Still--
86
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:37,695
What on Earth
would make you think that?
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00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,393
You've got an umbrella
to keep you safe
88
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,221
from the sun,
there's blood on your neck,
89
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,397
and you know Reginald's
deepest, darkest secret,
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00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,876
like you were two
of the same kind.
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00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,400
You're not afraid of me.
92
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,619
- No.
- You should be.
93
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,447
I don't scare easy.
94
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,101
Wait.
95
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:55,322
You want something from me.
96
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:58,020
How brave you are.
97
00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:58,977
What do you want?
Tell me everything.
98
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,631
I'm fascinated.
99
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:04,940
I feel nauseous
and emotional.
100
00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:06,768
I have this weird feeling
all the time.
101
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:08,465
And I don't remember
when it started,
102
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:12,252
but every day
it gets worse, bigger.
103
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,169
And I'm not saying that's
because, you know, puberty--
104
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,520
It isn't.
105
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,000
I can see that.
106
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:23,567
I can smell it too.
107
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:24,655
You can smell feelings?
108
00:04:24,742 --> 00:04:27,658
[tender music]
109
00:04:27,745 --> 00:04:30,008
♪ ♪
110
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,488
Speaking of feelings,
111
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,098
at the moment,
112
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,883
mine are huge
and uncontrollable,
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00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,624
volcano-sized.
114
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,234
And while I could sit here
and talk for hours,
115
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,149
I must instead
go share this bounty
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00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:43,195
of my undying affections
with my new lover.
117
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,501
Wait.
118
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,721
I have a proposition for you.
119
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:48,592
It's a life or death situation.
120
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:51,856
Maybe we can get together,
talk it over?
121
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:54,859
What do you say to that?
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00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,035
I'd say,
123
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,560
how's about tonight?
124
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:00,952
[knock at door]
125
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,432
[door clicks open]
126
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,782
♪ Oh, where is he? ♪
127
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:07,132
♪ Have you seen him? ♪
128
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:10,875
♪ He left me at this hotel ♪
129
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,747
[normally]
While I was sleeping.
130
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,184
♪ But I'm gonna find him ♪
131
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:18,230
♪ Even if it takes all day ♪
132
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,362
[giggles]
133
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:24,411
What are you doing here,
Nikki?
134
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,500
Delivering gifts
to my new lover.
135
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,371
Is he here?
136
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,678
Wait.
You saved Reginald?
137
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,070
Saved?
138
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,594
[laughs]
139
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,378
I made sweet love to him
140
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,207
until he purred
like a hundred kittens.
141
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,644
Or puppies,
but puppies don't purr.
142
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:41,732
But if they did...
143
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:44,518
[sighs]
144
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,042
Look, Nikki, I don't know
how to explain this to you
145
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,609
in a way
you're gonna understand,
146
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,829
but please,
just do me the favor of trying.
147
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:56,312
Okay, Mo-Mo. Spill.
148
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:57,879
[sighs] Okay.
149
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:02,623
Reginald has a lot on his plate
right now.
150
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,842
Like I told him,
The Assessment's coming up,
151
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:06,888
and he needs to focus
on his training,
152
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:10,457
because, as you know,
if he fails that,
153
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,937
your "new lover" becomes
your "permanently dead lover."
154
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,985
Not to mention the most
important thing of all,
155
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:20,728
and I'm sorry to be the one
to tell you this, but...
156
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,425
look, Reggie has a girlfriend.
157
00:06:24,427 --> 00:06:27,256
Yeah,
it's his vampire life goal.
158
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,521
Girlfriend?
159
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:34,263
How human of him.
160
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,918
I'm sure
we'll all get on famously.
161
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:39,094
Are you a couple sighs away
from reaching the point yet?
162
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:43,185
Look, Nikki, hear me like
your life is at stake, okay?
163
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,100
Stop messing with Reginald.
He can't handle it.
164
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:48,712
[laughs]
165
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:51,976
Life. Stake.
166
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,109
If I knew you were this funny,
I would've come sooner.
167
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:56,154
But all the same,
it was really nice
168
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:58,809
to have this chat
with you, Maurice.
169
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,640
Wait for it.
170
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,469
[sighs]
171
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,776
Yeah.
172
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,995
Yeah, it was nice
meeting you too, Nikki.
173
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:12,780
It was nice.
174
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,915
But Reginald is a big boy
who can make his own decisions.
175
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,701
And if you ever try
to take him away from me again,
176
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:23,138
it won't be such
a pleasant chat next time.
177
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,053
Hey, Reginald's not a toy.
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00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:26,489
He can't make decisions
for himself.
179
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,273
He's still too human.
180
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,188
Don't you remember
how that felt?
181
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,494
Thirsty and horny.
182
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:34,410
[upbeat foreboding music]
183
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,152
♪ ♪
184
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,196
[door slams]
185
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,721
♪ ♪
186
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:43,506
[dramatic musical sting]
187
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:45,073
[door clicks open]
188
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,206
Miss, are you okay?
189
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:51,166
[soft eerie music]
190
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:55,257
♪ ♪
191
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,693
I'm okay.
192
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,608
♪ ♪
193
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:01,089
Uh, yeah.
Thank you.
194
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:07,225
♪ ♪
195
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,272
Thank you.
196
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,580
Reginald?
197
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,539
[unsettling music]
198
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:22,937
♪ ♪
199
00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,982
[line trilling]
200
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:28,551
It's Reg, but I can't
answer the phone, so beep--
201
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,945
Reginald Andres.
202
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,208
He's about 5'5".
203
00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,602
Cute smile, bald.
204
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,342
We checked in last night.
205
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,127
I haven't seen anyone
leave this morning
206
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:40,432
that fits that description,
207
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,391
but if he comes by,
208
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:45,263
I'll let him know
you were looking for him.
209
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,831
[keyboard clicking]
210
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:50,268
Miss Kinney?
- Hmm?
211
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,444
You're all set.
212
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,663
Oh.
213
00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:02,106
[ominous music]
214
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,239
♪ ♪
215
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:05,240
[lock clicks]
216
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,590
Come on.
217
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:08,852
I feel like...
218
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,506
Pretty sure we agreed
219
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:11,899
that if I let you
switch shifts with Ashley,
220
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,901
you'd be here early to open.
221
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,424
Yeah.
We talked about that, right?
222
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:16,773
[sighs]
223
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,775
♪ ♪
224
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,342
It wasn't a dream.
225
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,257
What wasn't a dream?
226
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,346
Everything.
227
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,914
It's so------ up and surreal.
228
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,307
My memories, my actions.
229
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,961
I don't know
what's happening to me.
230
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,572
I have to find Reginald.
231
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,661
Sarah.
232
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,010
What the hell?
233
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,926
[breathing heavily]
234
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:46,063
[somber music]
235
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,196
I know it's been a while.
236
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,894
Oh, shit,
I don't wanna start like that.
237
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,287
Every prayer starts like that
238
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,942
when you haven't prayed
in a while.
239
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,074
Honestly,
240
00:09:57,161 --> 00:10:00,861
this was the only thing
I ever bought from you guys:
241
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,907
a guardian angel
who watches over me.
242
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:05,779
That's just nice
243
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:09,826
and doesn't strain credulity
in any weird, obvious way.
244
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:13,482
♪ ♪
245
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:17,486
I know
that you're not my therapist,
246
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:21,403
or my priest,
or my friend.
247
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:24,275
I don't know what you are,
248
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:27,278
but I just need someone
to listen.
249
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:33,154
So if you're listening,
250
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,199
my name is Sarah
251
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:40,291
and my life
has recently been weird.
252
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,643
I'm in love
253
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:47,211
with a man who orbits
around that weirdness,
254
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:51,781
or maybe the weirdness
is on his axis,
255
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:56,481
but... please protect me
and Reginald.
256
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:01,356
Make us both stronger
than what we currently are
257
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,402
for each other
and for ourselves.
258
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:09,886
Whoever you are...
259
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,583
thanks.
260
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:15,587
And, um, till next time,
or decade,
261
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:19,591
or personal crisis,
262
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,028
amen.
263
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,161
Okay.
264
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,345
Hey, Sarah.
265
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:37,174
I'm--
I'm looking for Reginald.
266
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,524
You and me both.
267
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:40,830
Come in.
268
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:50,013
It feels like a dream,
269
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:53,060
but the more the day goes by,
the less it feels like that.
270
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,019
And this isn't even
the first time
271
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:58,152
this has happened,
272
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,502
these missing pieces
inside my head.
273
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:06,769
[softly] I don't understand
what's happening to me.
274
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,380
And sometimes,
275
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:13,645
I don't know if I wanna
kiss him or kill him.
276
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,606
How's that even possible?
277
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:20,043
That confusion
you're feeling,
278
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,915
it will fade
279
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,439
until all you wanna do is kiss.
280
00:12:24,526 --> 00:12:26,006
Okay?
Trust me on that.
281
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,269
But until it does,
282
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,401
maybe just keep your distance.
283
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,753
I...
284
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,975
I would never...
285
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:42,500
hurt Reginald.
286
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,894
I care so much about him.
287
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:48,593
And that's something
that grows and grows,
288
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,075
so why would I ever
do anything to ruin that?
289
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:53,642
I don't understand.
290
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:57,341
Sarah,
291
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,735
if you let me,
292
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:03,826
I can make sure this
never happens to you again.
293
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,001
Promise?
294
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,529
[bright idyllic music]
295
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:17,666
♪ ♪
296
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,415
Reginald--
297
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,720
[record scratch]
298
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,157
♪ Good morning ♪
299
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,072
♪ Good morning ♪
300
00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:33,682
[sizzling]
301
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,511
♪ Such a glorious day ♪
- [hisses] Aah!
302
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,513
♪ Good morning ♪
303
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,038
♪ Good morning ♪
- [gasps]
304
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,388
- ♪ Don't waste it all away ♪
- [snoring]
305
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,694
♪ ♪
306
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:49,176
♪ Turn on the radio ♪
307
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:53,223
[dramatic musical sting]
308
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:56,879
♪ Let's all enjoy
this happy day ♪
309
00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:58,707
♪ Good morning ♪
310
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,927
♪ Good morning ♪
311
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,754
♪ Good morning ♪
312
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,061
♪ Good morning ♪
313
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:06,976
♪ Good morning ♪
314
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,936
[foreboding music]
315
00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:16,029
♪ ♪
316
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:22,426
[music swells]
317
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:28,519
♪ ♪
318
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,004
Good morning, sir.
How can--
319
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,049
Sarah Kinney!
320
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:38,051
Has she checked out yet?
321
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:39,356
Sarah Kinney.
[keyboard clicking]
322
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:40,923
Yes.
323
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,751
She checked out this morning, Reginald.
324
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,451
Ah, you might want
to put on pants
325
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,062
before you go outside.
326
00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:50,933
Pants are customary inside too,
327
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,500
but not much I can do about--
328
00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:58,506
[snoring]
329
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:01,465
[tense music]
330
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:07,558
♪ ♪
331
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:20,267
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
332
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,746
- Smock up, friendo.
- Uh--
333
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,052
I'm not gonna thank you, Reginald,
334
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,401
but with the day
I've been having--
335
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:25,533
I mean,
the whole week actually--
336
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,056
it almost makes me want to.
337
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,057
What's with the umbrella?
338
00:15:28,144 --> 00:15:29,232
Have you seen Sarah?
339
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:30,842
I wanna talk to the manager.
340
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,583
You just missed her.
First she shows up late
341
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,324
for her switch shift
with Ashley, acting all crazy,
342
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,804
and then
she just walked out the door.
343
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,284
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
344
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,199
Is this some weird game
between you two?
345
00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,201
Because I do have the power
to fire you both.
346
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:44,030
Todd, look.
Thank you.
347
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:47,468
I sympathize.
I totally understand.
348
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:48,817
Thanks, man,
that actually means a lot
349
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:50,340
that you're listening--what?
350
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:51,863
Where are you going, Reg?
351
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,169
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come back, please.
352
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,345
Please, Reg!
Reg! Reg! Reg!
353
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,088
Yeesh.
354
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,438
- You missed training.
- Have you seen Sarah anywhere?
355
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,962
I'm trying to find her,
and she's not at her apartment,
356
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,660
or the Slushy Shack,
or where I left her.
357
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,444
What if she's hurt?
358
00:16:07,531 --> 00:16:08,924
What if I'm going crazy?
359
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,882
What if you die
at The Assessment?
360
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,232
I don't have time
for that right now.
361
00:16:12,319 --> 00:16:13,363
Reggie,
get ahold of yourself.
362
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:14,886
The Assessment is literally
363
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,105
the only damn thing
you have time for.
364
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,412
And it was going so well.
365
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:19,500
Nice dinner.
366
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,110
We got to the hotel room.
367
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,460
And then she went
to the bathroom,
368
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:25,680
where she tried to kill me!
369
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,638
Start from the beginning. Slowly.
370
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,031
What happened last night?
371
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:31,555
[sighs]
372
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,080
Sarah and I had a date
at the hotel restaurant.
373
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,516
We went up
to the room together.
374
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,387
We were about to get in bed
375
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,260
when she went into the bathroom
and came back with a stake
376
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,958
and tried to stab me
through the heart with it.
377
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:44,568
She wasn't herself.
378
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,396
She was insane,
379
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:47,832
so I got out of there,
locked her in a closet
380
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,530
so she wouldn't try to kill me.
381
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:53,055
But then, I came back
to find her this morning,
382
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,710
and she was gone.
383
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:59,409
But this was right
where she left it.
384
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,411
[eerie music]
385
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:02,978
It's like
someone glamoured her,
386
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,720
but who would glamour Sarah
like that?
387
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,591
Angela.
388
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:10,942
Angela would glamour Sarah
like that.
389
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,988
She saw an opportunity
to make a move
390
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,425
when you were most vulnerable,
and she made it.
391
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,427
Angela turned Sarah
into her killer,
392
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:18,515
and you were the target.
393
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:19,908
How do you know that?
394
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,607
Wait a sec.
395
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,914
You talked to Sarah already,
didn't you?
396
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:27,568
Yeah.
397
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,439
Yeah, Sarah's looking for you,
398
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,746
but I wanted to hear your
version of last night first.
399
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:36,229
Look, the thing
with this sort of glamour is--
400
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,144
well, there's a chance
that Sarah might still have
401
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,320
a homicidal urge or two, okay?
402
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:42,713
And I strongly encourage you
to wait a few days
403
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,367
just to make sure
it's fully worn off.
404
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,716
[phone chimes, buzzes]
405
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:53,768
I don't have time for that.
406
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,030
Reggie.
407
00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:58,686
[door slams]
408
00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:01,645
[bright idyllic music]
409
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:07,738
♪ ♪
410
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,136
Reginald!
411
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:20,229
♪ ♪
412
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,150
I've been
looking for you everywhere.
413
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:31,110
[birds chirping]
414
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:39,118
♪ My name is Nikki ♪
415
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:42,469
♪ His name is Reggie ♪
416
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,297
I think we should go
somewhere more private.
417
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,168
We've got a lot to talk about.
418
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,563
- Oh, okay. Yeah.
- ♪ He says that he loves me ♪
419
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,522
[eerie music]
420
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:58,615
♪ ♪
421
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:03,751
[sighs]
422
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,320
[sadly]
Once I find him.
423
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,543
Hey, what the hell happened
last night?
424
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,110
That's ancient history.
425
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,851
You know, ages ago.
- It was last night.
426
00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:18,679
Well, you know what,
time is an elastic concept,
427
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,550
and I feel like
the way we perceive time
428
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,683
is, uh, you know.
429
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,075
You know,
it was like I was there
430
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,860
and not there at the same time.
431
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,296
And Reginald, I think
I tried to hurt you last night,
432
00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:28,993
but that can't be true, can it?
433
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,343
Hey, think we could
table this conversation
434
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:32,040
a bit longer
so I can experience
435
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,563
the greatest thing that's
ever gonna happen to me.
436
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:34,999
- [laughs]
- I feel like hopes are high.
437
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,045
- It's your first time.
- Mm-hmm.
438
00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:38,307
[inhales dramatically]
439
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,004
Follow my lead.
440
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,267
- Ah.
- [giggles]
441
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:42,703
Ah.
442
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,187
What are you looking at?
443
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,449
Your neck.
444
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,320
Is that weird?
[laughter]
445
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:52,713
Oh, okay.
446
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,454
When you close your eyes...
- Yeah.
447
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,412
Do you see pointy sticks?
448
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,285
No, I see a nice neck.
449
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,809
- [chuckles]
- And I wanna kiss it.
450
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,812
- Aw.
- [laughs]
451
00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,205
Mm.
[chuckles]
452
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,904
[sighs]
453
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,735
There's a blank space
454
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:17,564
between the way you and me
in the hotel room
455
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:21,132
and me waking up in the closet
the next morning.
456
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:29,140
Well,
we had dinner and drinks.
457
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,620
Then, we went up to the room,
458
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,014
where, you know,
you sort of fell asleep
459
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:36,191
before we could do anything.
460
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,367
Maybe someone
put something in my drink?
461
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:40,717
- Mm-mm-mm.
- I can't remember.
462
00:20:43,024 --> 00:20:46,593
Well, I woke up
and you were gone, so...
463
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,159
In the closet.
464
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,771
I don't know how I got there,
465
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:53,556
but I'm pretty sure
that I was attacked
466
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:57,386
by the same woman who sang
with us at the karaoke bar.
467
00:20:57,473 --> 00:21:00,694
But that's crazy, right?
468
00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:04,393
[laughter]
- I mean...
469
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,439
[sighs] I gotta find out
what happened to me.
470
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:36,033
[ominous music]
471
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:42,170
♪ ♪
472
00:21:49,917 --> 00:21:50,918
Hmm.
473
00:21:51,005 --> 00:21:53,050
You're fast.
474
00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:55,705
Double solitaire is my jam.
475
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:59,274
It's like you memorized
every card in both decks.
476
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,015
I maybe just have
a really great memory.
477
00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:03,017
No shit.
478
00:22:03,104 --> 00:22:05,324
Okay, I surrender
479
00:22:05,411 --> 00:22:08,327
to your strangely
superior gameplay.
480
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,938
Okay,
I accept your surrender.
481
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,114
[laughs]
482
00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:17,074
Oh, they're everywhere.
483
00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:24,299
This is perfect.
484
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,953
Close enough.
485
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,739
[laughs] No,
I mean literal perfection.
486
00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:31,785
It's, like,
happiness times infinity.
487
00:22:31,872 --> 00:22:34,831
And I don't even know
what that equals, but I...
488
00:22:34,918 --> 00:22:38,705
I like you too, Reginald.
489
00:22:38,792 --> 00:22:40,750
That's a lot better
than wanting to kill me, right?
490
00:22:40,837 --> 00:22:43,013
So progress?
491
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:45,189
Mm.
[laughter]
492
00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:48,062
[light playful music]
493
00:22:48,149 --> 00:22:53,763
♪ ♪
494
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:57,071
What's
with that weird umbrella?
495
00:22:57,158 --> 00:23:00,814
Oh,
this is a parasol actually.
496
00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:03,164
I don't remember
you having a parasol.
497
00:23:03,251 --> 00:23:05,993
I suffer
from solar urticaria.
498
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,603
Solar what-now?
499
00:23:07,690 --> 00:23:09,910
Urticaria?
500
00:23:09,997 --> 00:23:12,303
Um, basically,
exposure to sunlight,
501
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,741
uh, I'm allergic to it.
502
00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:19,267
I get hives.
503
00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:22,226
Do they itch?
504
00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:27,797
He is
the most gentle of lovers,
505
00:23:27,884 --> 00:23:29,364
and I've had
more than my share.
506
00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:31,714
Except I often kill them after.
507
00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:33,499
But I made an exception
this time
508
00:23:33,586 --> 00:23:36,284
because there's something
about him that moves me.
509
00:23:36,371 --> 00:23:38,852
It moved me from the moment
I heard him sing.
510
00:23:38,939 --> 00:23:40,331
Reginald?
511
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:41,768
You're talking
about Reginald Andres?
512
00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:44,292
He is my new lover.
513
00:23:44,379 --> 00:23:45,554
Wow.
514
00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:47,643
Just... wow.
515
00:23:47,730 --> 00:23:49,471
But enough about me.
516
00:23:49,558 --> 00:23:51,517
Tell me about this life
or death proposition
517
00:23:51,604 --> 00:23:53,649
you wish to offer me,
which is, of course,
518
00:23:53,736 --> 00:23:55,129
my favorite kind.
519
00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:56,913
I wanna be a vampire
like you are.
520
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,262
Of course you do.
521
00:23:58,349 --> 00:23:59,786
That's not
a business proposition.
522
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:01,483
That's a fever dream
of the first order.
523
00:24:04,704 --> 00:24:06,096
Why are you
dreaming this dream?
524
00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,750
- Do I have to tell?
- Yes.
525
00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:11,406
Because it's the only way
for me to fight evil.
526
00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:18,500
But you understand,
we don't fight evil.
527
00:24:18,587 --> 00:24:21,634
We are evil.
528
00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:24,680
In the most delightful way,
however, biblical in origin.
529
00:24:24,767 --> 00:24:26,421
Personally,
current distinctions
530
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:27,944
between good and evil
leave a lot to be desired.
531
00:24:28,031 --> 00:24:30,251
I need to fight this fight.
532
00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:32,688
And I would love
to turn you--
533
00:24:32,775 --> 00:24:34,951
and we could fight together--
534
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:37,998
but one does not turn
without preparation.
535
00:24:38,085 --> 00:24:40,130
One does not turn
before one is ready.
536
00:24:40,217 --> 00:24:41,828
You are the "one"
in this formulation
537
00:24:41,915 --> 00:24:42,916
if you didn't know.
538
00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:44,047
I know.
539
00:24:44,134 --> 00:24:46,572
So prepare, Claire.
540
00:24:46,659 --> 00:24:48,617
That rhymes.
541
00:24:48,704 --> 00:24:51,228
Prepare,
and when you're of age,
542
00:24:51,315 --> 00:24:54,101
I will most definitely
grant your wish--
543
00:24:54,188 --> 00:24:56,538
but only when you're ready
for the everlasting life
544
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:57,757
and everything
that comes with it...
545
00:24:57,844 --> 00:25:01,021
[wind whooshing]
546
00:25:01,108 --> 00:25:02,239
I smell sulfur.
547
00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:05,242
[soft music]
548
00:25:05,329 --> 00:25:09,769
♪ ♪
549
00:25:09,856 --> 00:25:11,031
What lives beyond this door?
550
00:25:11,118 --> 00:25:12,336
My mom.
She's sleeping.
551
00:25:12,423 --> 00:25:14,600
Wait!
552
00:25:14,687 --> 00:25:16,123
Definitely sulfur.
553
00:25:18,038 --> 00:25:19,561
How often does it come?
554
00:25:19,648 --> 00:25:20,823
Most nights.
555
00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:22,303
I don't know how to stop it.
556
00:25:22,390 --> 00:25:23,652
And how's your mother
afterwards?
557
00:25:23,739 --> 00:25:25,045
Different,
but she's still my mom.
558
00:25:25,132 --> 00:25:28,004
[suspenseful music]
559
00:25:28,091 --> 00:25:29,615
♪ ♪
560
00:25:29,702 --> 00:25:31,617
I once heard rumor
of a child vampire
561
00:25:31,704 --> 00:25:34,054
who terrorized all
of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
562
00:25:34,141 --> 00:25:37,231
I promise not to terrorize
anyone who doesn't deserve it.
563
00:25:37,318 --> 00:25:38,928
I believe you.
564
00:25:39,015 --> 00:25:43,367
♪ ♪
565
00:25:46,936 --> 00:25:49,286
[elevator dings]
566
00:25:49,373 --> 00:25:50,505
Hello, lover!
567
00:25:52,681 --> 00:25:55,728
I'm thrilled that you're here.
[giggles]
568
00:25:55,815 --> 00:25:57,556
I'm giving back your parasol.
569
00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:03,083
We need to talk.
570
00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:04,911
Speak to me, roundish lover.
571
00:26:04,998 --> 00:26:08,523
I can't be your lover.
572
00:26:08,610 --> 00:26:10,264
I promise not to kill you,
if that's a concern.
573
00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:13,223
Which is sweet, but...
574
00:26:13,310 --> 00:26:14,660
[sighs]
575
00:26:14,747 --> 00:26:16,792
Look,
576
00:26:16,879 --> 00:26:19,403
it's not you.
577
00:26:19,490 --> 00:26:23,059
It's me.
578
00:26:23,146 --> 00:26:25,453
"It's not you.
579
00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:28,282
It's me"?
580
00:26:28,369 --> 00:26:30,414
Basically sums it up,
reversing the me/you polarity
581
00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:31,459
of course.
582
00:26:31,546 --> 00:26:33,853
[laughs]
583
00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:35,942
That's sounds like
something humans would say
584
00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:37,813
when they're confused about
their place in the universe
585
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,902
or trying
to get out of a bad date.
586
00:26:42,688 --> 00:26:44,211
But we're not humans,
587
00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:47,649
you and I,
588
00:26:47,736 --> 00:26:51,000
so how could that
possibly be relevant?
589
00:26:53,176 --> 00:26:56,484
[sighs]
Well, that was worth a shot.
590
00:26:56,571 --> 00:26:58,791
I should go.
591
00:27:03,404 --> 00:27:04,623
Wait.
592
00:27:08,801 --> 00:27:10,411
You brought me tribute.
593
00:27:10,498 --> 00:27:12,239
Surely there's something
I can give you in return?
594
00:27:12,326 --> 00:27:13,762
It's just an umbrella.
595
00:27:13,849 --> 00:27:14,763
Parasol.
596
00:27:14,850 --> 00:27:16,809
Right, but...
597
00:27:19,202 --> 00:27:22,336
Quench your undying thirst
before you go.
598
00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:24,904
Drink from me.
599
00:27:24,991 --> 00:27:27,341
[dramatic music]
600
00:27:27,428 --> 00:27:29,691
Love is a mystery
unlike any other,
601
00:27:29,778 --> 00:27:33,564
but I think I understand
my place in it now.
602
00:27:33,652 --> 00:27:36,132
Yes, it was your voice
and the song you sang,
603
00:27:36,219 --> 00:27:39,527
but over time, I've come
to recognize a difference.
604
00:27:39,614 --> 00:27:42,356
Your intelligence impresses me.
605
00:27:42,443 --> 00:27:46,316
[giggles]
Your sense of humor amuses me.
606
00:27:46,403 --> 00:27:49,755
And there's something else
I can't quite put my finger on.
607
00:27:52,453 --> 00:27:54,455
- I'm plus-sized?
- That's it!
608
00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:57,719
I love your shape
because there's so much of you.
609
00:27:57,806 --> 00:27:59,068
The more you are,
610
00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:00,940
the more there is
for me to love.
611
00:28:01,027 --> 00:28:03,029
This doesn't feel like love.
612
00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,117
Blood is life.
613
00:28:04,204 --> 00:28:06,510
It fills us with power.
614
00:28:06,597 --> 00:28:09,252
In my recent experience,
615
00:28:09,339 --> 00:28:12,429
love is like blood.
616
00:28:12,516 --> 00:28:14,431
It fills me up.
617
00:28:14,518 --> 00:28:15,868
Drink.
618
00:28:15,955 --> 00:28:17,086
Drink until you're full.
619
00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:18,697
[sucking]
620
00:28:18,784 --> 00:28:21,612
[giggles]
621
00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:23,702
[funky music]
622
00:28:23,789 --> 00:28:26,095
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
623
00:28:26,182 --> 00:28:28,445
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
624
00:28:28,532 --> 00:28:29,925
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
625
00:28:30,012 --> 00:28:31,231
♪ Party on the block, bro ♪
626
00:28:31,318 --> 00:28:33,320
♪ Pump it up ♪
627
00:28:33,407 --> 00:28:35,626
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
628
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:38,194
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
629
00:28:38,281 --> 00:28:40,327
♪ Pump, pump it up ♪
630
00:28:40,414 --> 00:28:44,113
Monogamy is for humans,
not vampires.
631
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,248
Why should I limit myself when
I've got the perfect setup?
632
00:28:50,424 --> 00:28:52,861
She gives me blood,
she gives me kisses.
633
00:28:52,948 --> 00:28:55,168
Put 'em together--
634
00:28:55,255 --> 00:28:57,213
the perfect woman.
635
00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:58,998
Sucking and-------,
636
00:28:59,085 --> 00:29:01,217
that is the vampire life.
637
00:29:01,304 --> 00:29:02,958
Are we gonna work out or what?
638
00:29:03,045 --> 00:29:04,960
Sure, Reggie.
639
00:29:05,047 --> 00:29:06,701
We'll work out because
the damn Assessment
640
00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:09,486
is right around the corner,
and if you fail that,
641
00:29:09,573 --> 00:29:11,097
you have all the time
in the world
642
00:29:11,184 --> 00:29:12,968
'cause you'll be dead,
643
00:29:13,055 --> 00:29:14,274
and I'll be dead too.
644
00:29:14,361 --> 00:29:16,319
Maybe I might surprise you.
645
00:29:16,406 --> 00:29:18,931
[upbeat music]
646
00:29:19,018 --> 00:29:21,150
Baby.
[laughter]
647
00:29:21,237 --> 00:29:23,936
- Lemme get the door.
- [squeals]
648
00:29:24,023 --> 00:29:27,200
♪ La, la, la, la,
ooh, la, la ♪
649
00:29:27,287 --> 00:29:30,116
♪ Nothing in this world
is for free ♪
650
00:29:30,203 --> 00:29:31,682
♪ You always pay a price ♪
651
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,728
No! Missy, you have two guns!
That's not fair.
652
00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,948
There's no rules!
Suck it!
653
00:29:36,035 --> 00:29:37,688
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no!
654
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:39,690
Skrrt--shit!
- [laughs]
655
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:42,128
♪ Love ♪
656
00:29:42,215 --> 00:29:43,651
♪ Love is a drug ♪
657
00:29:43,738 --> 00:29:46,175
♪ ♪
658
00:29:46,262 --> 00:29:48,656
♪ Love ♪
659
00:29:48,743 --> 00:29:51,702
♪ Love is a drug ♪
660
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,226
♪ Love is a drug ♪
661
00:29:53,313 --> 00:29:55,663
♪ ♪
662
00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:58,144
♪ Love ♪
663
00:29:58,231 --> 00:29:59,710
♪ Love is a drug ♪
664
00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,669
♪ Love ♪
665
00:30:01,756 --> 00:30:04,498
♪ Love is a drug ♪
all: ♪ Love is a drug ♪
666
00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:07,675
♪ Love is a drug ♪
667
00:30:07,762 --> 00:30:09,416
♪ Love is a drug ♪
668
00:30:09,503 --> 00:30:11,505
♪ ♪
669
00:30:11,592 --> 00:30:13,420
We should go out.
670
00:30:13,507 --> 00:30:16,510
I think I told you about
my sunlight allergy, right?
671
00:30:18,077 --> 00:30:19,513
Is that a new umbrella?
672
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,820
What happened to your parasol?
673
00:30:21,907 --> 00:30:23,560
I lost it.
[chuckles]
674
00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:26,346
We could go to the park
or our favorite bench.
675
00:30:26,433 --> 00:30:28,478
We have night shifts, so...
676
00:30:28,565 --> 00:30:30,959
We could,
but I'm just so happy
677
00:30:31,046 --> 00:30:32,787
being here with you.
678
00:30:32,874 --> 00:30:35,050
Except for all the times
you mysteriously dash off
679
00:30:35,137 --> 00:30:36,486
and leave me.
680
00:30:36,573 --> 00:30:38,445
I have a very strict
workout regimen
681
00:30:38,532 --> 00:30:42,275
that requires all my focus
and dedication.
682
00:30:42,362 --> 00:30:45,191
[heartbeat thumping]
683
00:30:48,324 --> 00:30:50,849
Whoa!
Reginald, are you okay?
684
00:30:50,936 --> 00:30:52,111
I'll be right back.
685
00:31:00,684 --> 00:31:02,773
What's wrong?
686
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:05,733
[eerie music]
687
00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:11,870
♪ ♪
688
00:31:14,742 --> 00:31:16,700
Hello, Todd.
689
00:31:16,787 --> 00:31:18,615
Every time I go for a run,
690
00:31:18,702 --> 00:31:21,531
I end up running here,
691
00:31:21,618 --> 00:31:23,533
but I don't know why I do that.
692
00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:25,231
That feeling will fade.
693
00:31:25,318 --> 00:31:26,972
Trust me.
694
00:31:27,059 --> 00:31:30,236
I trust you more
than any person I've ever met,
695
00:31:30,323 --> 00:31:33,326
which is weird, right?
696
00:31:33,413 --> 00:31:36,242
I mean,
I don't even know your name.
697
00:31:36,329 --> 00:31:37,939
Maurice.
698
00:31:38,026 --> 00:31:40,594
Hi, Maurice.
699
00:31:40,681 --> 00:31:42,857
Goodbye, Todd.
700
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:46,382
Uh, can I come in, please?
701
00:31:46,469 --> 00:31:48,210
No.
[laughs]
702
00:31:48,297 --> 00:31:50,343
Not today.
Not in your current condition.
703
00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:51,735
Next time I go for a run,
704
00:31:51,822 --> 00:31:53,781
I'm gonna end up running
right back here,
705
00:31:53,868 --> 00:31:55,565
no matter what I try to do.
706
00:31:55,652 --> 00:31:56,958
I know.
707
00:32:00,788 --> 00:32:01,832
[lock clicks]
708
00:32:08,883 --> 00:32:10,015
What?
709
00:32:10,102 --> 00:32:12,974
[sucking]
710
00:32:20,242 --> 00:32:21,330
Is this weird?
711
00:32:21,417 --> 00:32:23,245
I bathe multiple times a day.
712
00:32:23,332 --> 00:32:24,507
[laughs]
No, I mean us.
713
00:32:24,594 --> 00:32:27,510
Us is perfect.
Don't you think?
714
00:32:27,597 --> 00:32:29,425
Well, I don't really know
anything about you
715
00:32:29,512 --> 00:32:33,255
except that Angela hired you
to kill me, but you didn't.
716
00:32:33,342 --> 00:32:35,997
What do you wanna know
about me, roundish lover?
717
00:32:36,084 --> 00:32:38,478
Something unbelievable.
718
00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:42,743
I have 222 secrets.
719
00:32:45,615 --> 00:32:46,921
Tell me one of them.
720
00:32:52,709 --> 00:32:54,885
Once upon a time,
721
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:58,150
a fearsome vampire, Logan,
decided he was made
722
00:32:58,237 --> 00:33:00,891
for the bigger
and bestest things,
723
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,546
but his great rival, Abraham,
724
00:33:03,633 --> 00:33:07,333
held the utmost deacon
of the Americas.
725
00:33:07,420 --> 00:33:09,596
Abraham was
a vampire of legend,
726
00:33:09,683 --> 00:33:11,554
oldest of our kind,
727
00:33:11,641 --> 00:33:15,341
one possessed
of unimaginable powers.
728
00:33:15,428 --> 00:33:19,258
Abraham could turn a vampire
back to human,
729
00:33:19,345 --> 00:33:21,738
like a God
or an angel might do.
730
00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:26,961
Logan hired me
and my partner, Stanley,
731
00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:29,920
to find Abraham
and kill him deader than dirt.
732
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,706
Stanley was vicious.
733
00:33:32,793 --> 00:33:35,317
And kind.
734
00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:37,450
He had white patch in his hair,
and nobody called him "Patchy,"
735
00:33:37,537 --> 00:33:38,494
and that's sad.
736
00:33:38,581 --> 00:33:40,931
[laughs]
737
00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,891
We found Abraham
in a place far from here
738
00:33:43,978 --> 00:33:46,285
called Spokane, Washington.
739
00:33:46,372 --> 00:33:49,201
Stanley went ahead,
as was our custom.
740
00:33:51,377 --> 00:33:54,467
He was truly
the best killer-diller of all.
741
00:33:54,554 --> 00:33:56,425
[melancholic music]
742
00:33:56,512 --> 00:34:00,038
But Stanley was lost that day
743
00:34:00,125 --> 00:34:02,997
and never found.
744
00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:05,173
And I was trapped
by phantoms, and ghosts,
745
00:34:05,260 --> 00:34:09,177
and everything upside down,
746
00:34:09,264 --> 00:34:11,049
so I ran away
from that haunted place
747
00:34:11,136 --> 00:34:14,530
as fast as my feet could run.
748
00:34:14,617 --> 00:34:17,098
Phantoms and ghosts?
749
00:34:17,185 --> 00:34:20,275
I was afraid.
750
00:34:20,362 --> 00:34:22,930
I've never been afraid
a single time since that day,
751
00:34:23,017 --> 00:34:26,586
but I will never
forget the feeling.
752
00:34:29,197 --> 00:34:30,590
On the plus side,
753
00:34:30,677 --> 00:34:33,114
Abraham was never
heard from again,
754
00:34:33,201 --> 00:34:35,290
and Logan
took his council seat,
755
00:34:35,377 --> 00:34:38,815
and maybe Stanley
did not die for nothing.
756
00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,469
The end.
757
00:34:40,556 --> 00:34:44,734
♪ ♪
758
00:34:44,821 --> 00:34:46,736
[sucking]
759
00:34:46,823 --> 00:34:51,045
[softly]
I have 221 secrets.
760
00:34:53,221 --> 00:34:55,441
What's the sitch
with Reginald?
761
00:34:55,528 --> 00:34:57,138
He's supposed to be here.
I don't know what happened.
762
00:34:59,706 --> 00:35:01,708
All right, there you go. Cheers.
763
00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:03,405
Have you ever felt like
something happened to you,
764
00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:04,972
but it didn't happen
at the same time,
765
00:35:05,059 --> 00:35:07,366
but you have no idea
why you feel like that?
766
00:35:07,453 --> 00:35:08,758
All the time.
767
00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:13,023
I would very much like
to purchase a delicious slushy
768
00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:14,547
for my new lover.
769
00:35:14,634 --> 00:35:17,419
[pensive music]
770
00:35:17,506 --> 00:35:19,334
♪ ♪
771
00:35:19,421 --> 00:35:20,727
[sighs]
772
00:35:24,165 --> 00:35:27,168
Does your new lover
have a favorite flavor?
773
00:35:27,255 --> 00:35:29,779
As a matter of fact,
beverage servant,
774
00:35:29,866 --> 00:35:32,739
nothing tickles his taste buds
like a Pineapple Surprise.
775
00:35:32,826 --> 00:35:36,438
♪ ♪
776
00:35:36,525 --> 00:35:38,397
[sucking]
777
00:35:38,484 --> 00:35:40,007
[knock at door]
778
00:35:40,094 --> 00:35:46,144
♪ ♪
779
00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:52,454
Hey, Sarah!
780
00:35:52,541 --> 00:35:53,847
You read my mind.
781
00:35:53,934 --> 00:35:55,327
How did you do that?
782
00:35:55,414 --> 00:35:57,503
Three is truly
the happiest number.
783
00:35:57,590 --> 00:35:58,982
In case you're wondering,
I'm referring
784
00:35:59,069 --> 00:36:00,375
to the three-way
we're about to have--
785
00:36:00,462 --> 00:36:02,203
you, me, and Reginald.
786
00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:03,813
And if that's not
the stairway to heaven,
787
00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:06,164
I don't know what Page
and Plant were thinking.
788
00:36:06,251 --> 00:36:09,123
[foreboding music]
789
00:36:09,210 --> 00:36:13,258
♪ ♪
790
00:36:13,345 --> 00:36:14,694
No. No, wait.
791
00:36:14,781 --> 00:36:15,956
Sarah, wait!
792
00:36:18,306 --> 00:36:20,265
Well, that's not
what I had in mind at all.
793
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:25,748
Please, Sarah, wait.
794
00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:26,923
I can explain.
795
00:36:27,010 --> 00:36:28,664
Leave me alone.
796
00:36:28,751 --> 00:36:30,362
But it's not
what it looks like.
797
00:36:30,449 --> 00:36:31,711
I--I mean, it's partially
what it looks like,
798
00:36:31,798 --> 00:36:32,886
but it's not as bad
as it seems.
799
00:36:32,973 --> 00:36:35,367
I knew something was wrong,
800
00:36:35,454 --> 00:36:37,586
but God damn it, Reginald,
I didn't even consider--
801
00:36:37,673 --> 00:36:39,980
No, we can turn back time, okay?
802
00:36:40,067 --> 00:36:42,069
I can make this go away.
803
00:36:42,156 --> 00:36:44,680
What the hell
are you talking about?
804
00:36:44,767 --> 00:36:47,074
Pretend?
I would never--
805
00:36:47,161 --> 00:36:48,945
Listen to me!
806
00:36:49,032 --> 00:36:50,469
Forget what you saw
in the hotel room.
807
00:36:50,556 --> 00:36:52,427
Forget Nikki.
Forget me.
808
00:36:52,514 --> 00:36:54,777
You never came here.
809
00:36:54,864 --> 00:36:56,562
You left work,
but you came back,
810
00:36:56,649 --> 00:36:58,520
and you have no memory
of where you were
811
00:36:58,607 --> 00:37:01,349
until you see me again, and
everything will be wonderful.
812
00:37:03,003 --> 00:37:05,527
Sure, Reginald.
813
00:37:05,614 --> 00:37:07,529
I can do that.
814
00:37:07,616 --> 00:37:10,532
I'll forget what I saw
in the hotel room.
815
00:37:10,619 --> 00:37:12,969
I'll forget Nikki.
816
00:37:13,056 --> 00:37:14,841
I'll go back to work,
and I'll have no memory
817
00:37:14,928 --> 00:37:18,279
of where I was
until you see me again,
818
00:37:18,366 --> 00:37:20,412
and everything
will be wonderful.
819
00:37:20,499 --> 00:37:21,543
[elevator dings]
820
00:37:21,630 --> 00:37:24,459
But most of all...
821
00:37:24,546 --> 00:37:27,157
I'll forget you.
822
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:28,463
Wait, Sarah. Wait.
823
00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:30,422
[bracelet crackles]
Aah!
824
00:37:30,509 --> 00:37:32,424
Where did you get
that bracelet?
825
00:37:32,511 --> 00:37:34,121
Maurice gave it to me.
826
00:37:34,208 --> 00:37:36,428
Hey, Sarah.
827
00:37:36,515 --> 00:37:38,212
What are you doing here?
828
00:37:38,299 --> 00:37:40,301
I've got a very important
appointment with Nikki.
829
00:37:40,388 --> 00:37:43,609
She's a vampire too.
Did you know that?
830
00:37:43,696 --> 00:37:45,959
Dude, you look like
someone beat your dog to death
831
00:37:46,046 --> 00:37:47,265
with your cat.
832
00:37:50,398 --> 00:37:51,573
Hey, Nikki.
833
00:37:53,575 --> 00:37:55,403
Nikki, wait up.
Where are you going?
834
00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:57,100
When I make a mistake,
835
00:37:57,187 --> 00:37:58,232
I don't fail to make
the biggest one possible,
836
00:37:58,319 --> 00:37:59,625
and I like that about myself.
837
00:37:59,712 --> 00:38:01,191
It keeps things interesting,
838
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:04,064
but you lied to me,
and you lied to her!
839
00:38:04,151 --> 00:38:06,719
You are a bad toy.
840
00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:09,461
You are not my dream lover.
841
00:38:09,548 --> 00:38:14,292
You are not the song
the angels sing.
842
00:38:14,379 --> 00:38:16,859
Maurice Miller
was right about you.
843
00:38:16,946 --> 00:38:18,644
You're not one of us.
844
00:38:18,731 --> 00:38:20,950
Not yet.
845
00:38:21,037 --> 00:38:22,517
You're still full of human,
846
00:38:22,604 --> 00:38:24,998
and I have
zero tolerance policy for that.
847
00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:26,129
I eat humans.
848
00:38:26,216 --> 00:38:28,088
I do not let them eat me.
849
00:38:28,175 --> 00:38:31,178
Also, I'm bored
850
00:38:31,265 --> 00:38:33,049
and do not wanna play
with you anymore.
851
00:38:33,136 --> 00:38:34,790
Wait.
You can't just go.
852
00:38:34,877 --> 00:38:36,139
Not now. Please.
853
00:38:38,751 --> 00:38:40,361
I'm sorry, little human.
854
00:38:40,448 --> 00:38:42,494
I can't help you.
[elevator dings]
855
00:38:42,581 --> 00:38:45,061
But maybe
that's best for everyone.
856
00:38:47,455 --> 00:38:48,761
What did you do?
857
00:38:48,848 --> 00:38:50,589
You ruined everything.
858
00:38:50,676 --> 00:38:52,678
- It doesn't matter.
- Nikki was gonna help me.
859
00:38:52,765 --> 00:38:54,244
She was gonna turn me
into a vampire
860
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,463
so I can fight evil.
861
00:38:55,550 --> 00:38:57,073
Claire, stop!
862
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:58,858
Look at me.
863
00:38:58,945 --> 00:39:00,816
Is this the life you want?
864
00:39:00,903 --> 00:39:02,035
How does eternity look
to you now?
865
00:39:02,122 --> 00:39:04,342
Because trust me,
866
00:39:04,429 --> 00:39:06,169
it's not all
it's worked up to be.
867
00:39:06,256 --> 00:39:08,781
It's blood, and hunger,
868
00:39:08,868 --> 00:39:13,046
and you have no------- idea
what it feels like.
869
00:39:13,133 --> 00:39:15,004
And right now,
the last thing I need
870
00:39:15,091 --> 00:39:17,311
is a disappointed fangirl who
didn't get fangs for Christmas.
871
00:39:17,398 --> 00:39:19,835
[somber music]
872
00:39:19,922 --> 00:39:21,924
Asshole.
873
00:39:22,011 --> 00:39:28,061
♪ ♪
874
00:39:31,934 --> 00:39:35,460
[sighs]
I can't be out.
875
00:39:35,547 --> 00:39:37,157
There's got
to be blood somewhere.
876
00:39:37,244 --> 00:39:43,293
♪ ♪
877
00:39:47,210 --> 00:39:50,649
Dude,
where the hell have you been?
878
00:39:50,736 --> 00:39:52,390
Are you drunk?
879
00:39:52,477 --> 00:39:54,043
God.
880
00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:55,480
No, no, no, no, wait.
881
00:39:55,567 --> 00:39:57,307
Cheeseburger overdose.
882
00:39:57,395 --> 00:39:59,875
Yeah,
it's entirely possible for you.
883
00:39:59,962 --> 00:40:01,094
You know what you are?
884
00:40:01,181 --> 00:40:03,009
You're a disease.
885
00:40:03,096 --> 00:40:05,054
You're making everybody sick
around you.
886
00:40:05,141 --> 00:40:07,492
[phone chimes]
Note to self:
887
00:40:07,579 --> 00:40:08,884
take Reginald's
Employee of the Month photo
888
00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:09,972
and throw it in the trash.
889
00:40:10,059 --> 00:40:11,539
Listen to me!
890
00:40:11,626 --> 00:40:13,628
I'm gonna drink your blood,
891
00:40:13,715 --> 00:40:15,848
and that fills you
with joy and happiness.
892
00:40:15,935 --> 00:40:17,893
[dramatic music]
893
00:40:17,980 --> 00:40:18,981
[groans]
894
00:40:19,068 --> 00:40:25,074
♪ ♪
895
00:40:26,032 --> 00:40:29,949
[panting]
896
00:40:30,036 --> 00:40:31,646
Todd?
897
00:40:31,733 --> 00:40:33,039
---!----!----!
898
00:40:33,126 --> 00:40:34,867
♪ ♪
899
00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:37,609
[cell phone keypad beeps]
900
00:40:37,696 --> 00:40:39,349
Hello? Help!
901
00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:41,090
Something horrible happened
at the Slushy Shack!
902
00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:43,484
Hurry!
I--I need your help!
903
00:40:43,571 --> 00:40:48,097
♪ ♪
904
00:40:48,184 --> 00:40:49,490
[pounding at door]
905
00:40:54,582 --> 00:40:55,540
--- you!
906
00:40:55,627 --> 00:40:56,715
I could've handled this.
907
00:40:56,802 --> 00:40:58,107
I would have.
908
00:40:58,194 --> 00:40:59,108
You decided
to teach me a lesson
909
00:40:59,195 --> 00:41:01,154
for some------- reason.
910
00:41:01,241 --> 00:41:03,199
You opened your big mouth
to Nikki
911
00:41:03,286 --> 00:41:05,941
and you give Sarah
that bracelet.
912
00:41:06,028 --> 00:41:07,813
You turn me,
913
00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:10,119
and then you wreck me.
914
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:11,643
Why?
915
00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:14,472
Why would you do that to me?
916
00:41:14,559 --> 00:41:16,256
Wasn't I good enough for you?
917
00:41:16,343 --> 00:41:18,214
Wasn't I a good enough man
for you to trust?
918
00:41:18,301 --> 00:41:21,174
[ominous music]
919
00:41:21,261 --> 00:41:23,785
♪ ♪
920
00:41:23,872 --> 00:41:26,614
I lost Sarah.
921
00:41:26,701 --> 00:41:28,616
I lost Claire.
922
00:41:28,703 --> 00:41:31,053
I lost Nikki.
923
00:41:31,140 --> 00:41:33,186
I killed Todd.
924
00:41:35,318 --> 00:41:38,539
I'm a liar and an asshole
925
00:41:38,626 --> 00:41:41,977
and a murderer,
926
00:41:42,064 --> 00:41:43,979
but that's all on you.
927
00:41:44,066 --> 00:41:46,939
[somber music]
928
00:41:47,026 --> 00:41:54,033
♪ ♪
929
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,036
♪ You're pretty
when you sleep ♪
930
00:41:57,123 --> 00:41:59,865
♪ Like frozen memories ♪
931
00:41:59,952 --> 00:42:02,694
♪ I hold inside my mind ♪
932
00:42:02,781 --> 00:42:05,653
♪ When I can't sleep
at night ♪
933
00:42:05,740 --> 00:42:08,351
♪ I wanna say goodbye ♪
934
00:42:08,438 --> 00:42:13,748
♪ But if I do, you'll cry ♪
935
00:42:13,835 --> 00:42:15,228
♪ ♪
936
00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:20,102
♪ Please don't cry ♪
937
00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:21,539
♪ ♪
938
00:42:21,626 --> 00:42:24,324
♪ I think ♪
939
00:42:24,411 --> 00:42:28,415
♪ I'm gonna ♪
940
00:42:28,502 --> 00:42:32,767
♪ Cry ♪
941
00:42:32,854 --> 00:42:38,468
♪ I'm starting over ♪
942
00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:41,602
♪ Tonight ♪
943
00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:43,952
♪ Oh ♪
944
00:42:46,868 --> 00:42:51,133
♪ Anything and everything ♪
945
00:42:51,220 --> 00:42:53,875
♪ I'm thinking things ♪
946
00:42:53,962 --> 00:42:56,486
♪ That I should not think ♪
947
00:42:56,574 --> 00:43:02,971
♪ Oh, anything ♪
948
00:43:03,058 --> 00:43:05,060
♪ ♪
949
00:43:05,110 --> 00:43:09,660
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