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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,833 My name is Kathy H. 2 00:01:59,127 --> 00:02:01,003 I'm 28 years old. 3 00:02:04,299 --> 00:02:06,717 I've been a carer for nine years. 4 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,059 And I'm good at my job. 5 00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:19,688 My patients always do better than expected 6 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:21,773 and are hardly ever classified as agitated, 7 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,069 even if they're about to make a donation. 8 00:02:29,073 --> 00:02:31,033 I'm not trying to boast, 9 00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,244 but I feel a great sense of pride in what we do. 10 00:02:35,246 --> 00:02:37,956 Carers and donors have achieved so much. 11 00:02:41,336 --> 00:02:43,587 That said, we aren't machines. 12 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:49,343 In the end, it wears you down. 13 00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:55,599 I suppose that's why I now spend most of my time not looking forwards 14 00:02:55,683 --> 00:02:57,851 but looking back, 15 00:02:57,936 --> 00:03:01,146 to The Cottages and Hailsham, 16 00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:03,649 and what happened to us there. 17 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,568 Me, 18 00:03:07,904 --> 00:03:09,821 Tommy, 19 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,741 and Ruth. 20 00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:27,381 When we are scattered afar and asunder 21 00:03:27,465 --> 00:03:32,219 Parted are those who are singing today 22 00:03:32,637 --> 00:03:37,808 When we look back and forgetfully wonder 23 00:03:38,059 --> 00:03:42,854 What we were like in our learning and play 24 00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:48,485 Oh, the great days will bring distance enchanted 25 00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:53,573 Days of fresh air in the rain and the sun 26 00:03:53,825 --> 00:03:58,870 How we rejoiced as we struggled and panted 27 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:05,877 Echoes of dreamland, Hailsham lives on 28 00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:14,428 Good morning, students. 29 00:04:14,512 --> 00:04:17,389 Good morning, Miss Emily. 30 00:04:18,516 --> 00:04:22,644 It has come to my attention that three burned cigarettes were discovered, 31 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:26,106 hidden behind a pot in the flower garden. 32 00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,569 I know that on occasion students have seen 33 00:04:30,653 --> 00:04:34,448 some of the caretakers and deliverymen smoking cigarettes, 34 00:04:34,532 --> 00:04:38,994 but I must emphasize, once again, that it is much, much worse 35 00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:42,581 for a student of Hailsham to smoke cigarettes than anyone else. 36 00:04:44,959 --> 00:04:48,336 Students of Hailsham are special. 37 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:54,426 Keeping yourselves well, keeping yourselves healthy inside, 38 00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:56,678 is of paramount importance. 39 00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:58,972 Have I made myself clear? 40 00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:01,183 Yes, Miss Emily. 41 00:05:03,978 --> 00:05:07,439 I think, one day, I'd like five horses. 42 00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:13,195 I don't know all their names, but I know I'd like five horses. 43 00:05:13,321 --> 00:05:15,030 The best would be Thunder. 44 00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:18,283 He'd be dangerous to ride, so you can't ride him. 45 00:05:19,368 --> 00:05:21,453 You can ride 46 00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:24,039 Bramble. 47 00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:27,876 Just so long as you don't use your crop on him. 48 00:05:29,504 --> 00:05:31,546 That's pretty. 49 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,048 You have it. 50 00:05:35,718 --> 00:05:38,637 Look. Who's that with Miss Emily? 51 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:42,307 Do you think it's the new guardian? 52 00:05:42,391 --> 00:05:43,558 Miss Lucy. 53 00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:47,020 I think it must be. 54 00:05:47,105 --> 00:05:49,731 We haven't had a new guardian for ages. 55 00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:04,830 Arthur! Arthur! 56 00:06:08,751 --> 00:06:10,252 Catch it, Tommy. 57 00:06:32,984 --> 00:06:35,569 Why didn't Tommy get the ball? 58 00:06:37,321 --> 00:06:38,947 Excuse me, Miss Lucy? 59 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,616 Why didn't Tommy get the ball? 60 00:06:42,451 --> 00:06:43,660 When it bounced over the fence, 61 00:06:43,744 --> 00:06:45,120 it couldn't have been far from him. 62 00:06:45,788 --> 00:06:48,165 The fence is the boundary of the Hailsham grounds. 63 00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:50,959 We don't go outside the boundary, Miss Lucy. 64 00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:52,961 It's too dangerous. 65 00:06:53,421 --> 00:06:54,880 Dangerous? 66 00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:57,591 There was once a boy who had a big row with all his friends 67 00:06:57,675 --> 00:07:00,051 and then ran off beyond the boundary. 68 00:07:00,136 --> 00:07:04,347 They found him, two days later, in the woods. Tied to a tree. 69 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,474 With his hands and feet cut off. 70 00:07:07,268 --> 00:07:08,518 Dead. 71 00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:11,271 And there was the girl who climbed over the fence, 72 00:07:11,355 --> 00:07:12,689 by the front gate. 73 00:07:12,773 --> 00:07:16,026 And when she tried to get back, she wasn't allowed. 74 00:07:16,319 --> 00:07:18,945 And then she starved. Out there. 75 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:21,406 Right by the gates. 76 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,327 Who told you these stories? 77 00:07:25,870 --> 00:07:27,913 Everybody knows them. 78 00:07:28,164 --> 00:07:29,831 And how do you know they're true? 79 00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,166 Of course they're true. 80 00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:34,544 Who'd make up stories as horrible as that? 81 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,074 Tommy, what are you doing? 82 00:08:04,367 --> 00:08:06,493 What is it, exactly? 83 00:08:06,577 --> 00:08:09,371 I think it must be a dog. Is it a dog, Tommy? 84 00:08:09,747 --> 00:08:12,290 It can't be a dog. lts eyes are too small. 85 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,876 I think it must be a kind of rat. 86 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,753 Yes, that's it. Tommy's drawn a rat. 87 00:08:16,837 --> 00:08:17,921 It's not finished yet. 88 00:08:18,005 --> 00:08:20,006 That's right. You haven't finished the whiskers. 89 00:08:20,091 --> 00:08:22,050 Do you think Tommy's rat will be selected for The Gallery? 90 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,677 It's not a rat. 91 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:28,056 It's an elephant. 92 00:08:28,182 --> 00:08:30,058 Children, back to work. 93 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,300 He's got his shirt on. His favorite polo shirt. 94 00:09:04,552 --> 00:09:06,928 He really doesn't suspect a thing. 95 00:09:08,931 --> 00:09:11,224 Looks like no one wants you, Tommy. 96 00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:24,362 What's he doing? 97 00:09:24,488 --> 00:09:25,864 It's his own fault. 98 00:09:25,948 --> 00:09:29,409 If he learnt to keep his cool, they'd leave him alone. 99 00:09:29,577 --> 00:09:31,536 I hate you! I hate you all! 100 00:09:31,620 --> 00:09:32,829 Kath... No, don't! 101 00:09:43,966 --> 00:09:45,759 You shouldn't have... 102 00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:09,824 Kathy H. 103 00:10:23,005 --> 00:10:24,672 What's this from? 104 00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:27,008 I don't remember. 105 00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:29,052 Doctor? 106 00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:38,520 It's nothing. Just a bruise. 107 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,820 Hello. 108 00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:49,364 Kathy. Kathy H. 109 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,534 Of course. Kathy H. 110 00:10:53,202 --> 00:10:54,744 Come in. 111 00:11:00,751 --> 00:11:02,293 So what can I do for you? 112 00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:05,171 Well, 113 00:11:06,006 --> 00:11:09,050 I was wondering what you said to Tommy. 114 00:11:10,177 --> 00:11:12,178 Out on the playing fields. 115 00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:14,264 I see. Oh. 116 00:11:15,182 --> 00:11:16,850 So what did I say? 117 00:11:19,395 --> 00:11:21,771 I believe I was trying to calm him down. 118 00:11:21,856 --> 00:11:23,731 Because he seemed upset. 119 00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:27,819 He explained he was often teased about sport and art, 120 00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:31,239 so I told him he shouldn't get upset about these things. 121 00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:35,285 The other children are only teasing him to get a reaction. 122 00:11:37,371 --> 00:11:40,081 And if it happens that he's not particularly good at sport or art, 123 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,208 well, that doesn't matter. 124 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,878 It's not so important. 125 00:11:50,593 --> 00:11:52,093 Thank you. 126 00:12:14,825 --> 00:12:16,284 Kathy. 127 00:12:19,288 --> 00:12:20,705 Aren't you sitting with the girls? 128 00:12:20,789 --> 00:12:21,789 Well, I just checked 129 00:12:22,249 --> 00:12:24,501 and I'm pretty sure I'm not sitting with the girls. 130 00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:25,835 I'm sitting with you. 131 00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:29,672 I wanted to say 132 00:12:31,926 --> 00:12:33,593 I'm sorry. 133 00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:36,971 I didn't mean to hit you. 134 00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:41,726 I mean, I wouldn't want to hit any girl. 135 00:12:44,522 --> 00:12:46,189 But particularly not you. 136 00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:50,443 Well, it was an accident, that's all. 137 00:12:52,655 --> 00:12:55,240 Tommy, finish those vegetables. 138 00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:15,093 I'm not gonna get angry like that anymore. 139 00:13:15,177 --> 00:13:18,972 Because of what Miss Lucy told you, about being creative? 140 00:13:19,056 --> 00:13:20,640 How do you know about that? 141 00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:21,766 I'm nosey. 142 00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:29,399 She can't actually mean that being creative isn't important, can she? 143 00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:31,776 I mean, what about The Gallery? 144 00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:33,861 If being creative isn't important, 145 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,947 then why have a gallery at all? 146 00:13:38,742 --> 00:13:40,201 I don't know. 147 00:13:45,207 --> 00:13:48,710 ...by arching her back, or perhaps with the aid of a pillow, 148 00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:51,629 the woman can arrange herself... 149 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,814 Smile 150 00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:25,413 Good morning, ma'am. 151 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,664 Good morning. 152 00:14:26,749 --> 00:14:28,249 Can I help you? 153 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,252 I wanted one tea, with milk and sugar in it. 154 00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,547 One tea. Right. 155 00:14:41,055 --> 00:14:42,597 Tommy. 156 00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:45,266 Oh! One tea with milk and sugar in it, please. 157 00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,602 No, Tommy. 158 00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:52,398 I want to hear your own order. 159 00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,150 Don't simply repeat the one you've just heard. 160 00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:57,779 What other drinks do they serve in cafes? 161 00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,197 Water. 162 00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,368 Coffee. 163 00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:04,452 Coffee. 164 00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:07,622 So, then. 165 00:15:08,499 --> 00:15:09,791 So, then, 166 00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:13,628 one coffee, please, with milk and sugar in it. 167 00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:20,843 Thank you. 168 00:15:29,853 --> 00:15:31,813 I think Laura likes Arthur. 169 00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:35,274 All the girls like Arthur, don't they? 170 00:15:36,151 --> 00:15:37,652 Maybe. 171 00:15:39,154 --> 00:15:40,571 I'm not sure you do. 172 00:15:41,949 --> 00:15:44,075 He's not my type. 173 00:15:44,159 --> 00:15:47,412 I think Laura and Arthur will be the first in our year to have sex 174 00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:50,957 because, if Arthur wants to, Laura wouldn't stop him. 175 00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,835 I'm sure you're right. 176 00:15:58,173 --> 00:15:59,632 Tommy's changed. 177 00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:02,051 Changed how? 178 00:16:03,345 --> 00:16:04,846 Just changed. 179 00:16:06,014 --> 00:16:07,390 That's all. 180 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:40,381 What about this one by Madeleine Kane? 181 00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:44,051 I think it shows more than technical ability. 182 00:16:44,219 --> 00:16:46,763 It gives a real insight into the child. 183 00:16:46,889 --> 00:16:49,932 Which is precisely what Marie-Claude wants for The Gallery. 184 00:16:50,017 --> 00:16:51,809 Yes, I agree. 185 00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:56,647 Mmm. 186 00:16:57,191 --> 00:16:59,066 Put these two together. 187 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,778 Madame is coming. 188 00:17:52,412 --> 00:17:54,121 Good morning, students. 189 00:17:54,248 --> 00:17:57,250 Good morning, Miss Emily. 190 00:17:58,627 --> 00:18:01,337 There are several points of order today. 191 00:18:01,421 --> 00:18:05,174 The first is that our good friend, Madame Marie-Claude, is visiting us. 192 00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:09,554 She will, as usual, be carefully inspecting your artwork and poetry 193 00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:13,683 and selecting the very best pieces for inclusion in her Gallery. 194 00:18:14,101 --> 00:18:16,561 We will, of course, extend to her every courtesy 195 00:18:16,645 --> 00:18:19,313 and make her feel most welcome. 196 00:18:19,648 --> 00:18:23,234 Second point of order, a piece of good news for all students 197 00:18:23,318 --> 00:18:26,195 who have been diligent in collecting tokens. 198 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:29,407 After studies tomorrow, there will be a sale. 199 00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:32,994 The delivery will arrive in the morning, 200 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,454 and I was assured by the van driver 201 00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:38,791 that the boxes will contain a bumper crop. 202 00:19:28,550 --> 00:19:30,676 Is it really a bumper crop? 203 00:19:32,054 --> 00:19:35,473 I should say so. Yeah, sweetheart. It's a bumper crop. 204 00:20:40,288 --> 00:20:41,664 Hey. 205 00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:44,542 Aren't you buying? 206 00:20:44,918 --> 00:20:48,379 If you've already spent all your tokens, you can have some of mine. 207 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:52,216 I have tokens. I was just gonna wait till the rush died down. 208 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,052 I'm sure there'll be something good left. 209 00:20:56,179 --> 00:20:58,139 What's the matter, Kath? 210 00:21:01,977 --> 00:21:03,519 Well, anyway, it doesn't matter 211 00:21:03,603 --> 00:21:06,147 if you can't find anything in the sale 212 00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:09,859 because I already found you something. 213 00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:14,030 A music tape. 214 00:21:14,114 --> 00:21:17,742 I don't know much about it, if it's much good or anything. 215 00:21:21,955 --> 00:21:23,414 Thank you. 216 00:21:29,171 --> 00:21:31,172 * Darling * 217 00:21:34,009 --> 00:21:44,852 * Hold me * 218 00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:46,520 * And never * 219 00:21:47,564 --> 00:21:51,358 * Never * 220 00:21:52,027 --> 00:21:55,654 * Let me go * 221 00:22:04,998 --> 00:22:07,249 * Darling * 222 00:22:09,377 --> 00:22:20,638 * Kiss me * 223 00:22:20,722 --> 00:22:22,598 * And never * 224 00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:27,228 * Never * 225 00:22:27,687 --> 00:22:32,399 * Let me go * 226 00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:05,349 The problem is 227 00:23:06,476 --> 00:23:09,728 you've been told and not told. 228 00:23:10,564 --> 00:23:13,065 That's what I've seen while I've been here. 229 00:23:14,401 --> 00:23:16,318 You've been told 230 00:23:16,611 --> 00:23:19,238 but none of you really understand. 231 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:24,368 So I've decided I'll talk to you in a way that you will understand. 232 00:23:28,039 --> 00:23:30,332 Do you know what happens to children when they grow up? 233 00:23:33,086 --> 00:23:36,797 No, you don't, because nobody knows. 234 00:23:39,134 --> 00:23:41,677 They might grow up to become actors, 235 00:23:42,679 --> 00:23:44,638 move to America. 236 00:23:46,391 --> 00:23:48,893 Or they might work in supermarkets. 237 00:23:49,561 --> 00:23:51,312 Or teach in schools. 238 00:23:52,397 --> 00:23:57,234 They might become sportsmen or bus conductors or racing car drivers. 239 00:23:57,485 --> 00:23:59,904 They might do almost anything. 240 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,200 But with you we do know. 241 00:24:07,329 --> 00:24:09,622 None of you will go to America. 242 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:14,376 None of you will work in supermarkets. 243 00:24:16,630 --> 00:24:18,923 None of you will do anything except live the life 244 00:24:19,007 --> 00:24:21,217 that has already been set out for you. 245 00:24:23,845 --> 00:24:25,930 You will become adults, 246 00:24:27,682 --> 00:24:29,350 but only briefly. 247 00:24:32,812 --> 00:24:34,521 Before you are old, 248 00:24:36,107 --> 00:24:38,442 before you are even middle-aged, 249 00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:42,196 you will start to donate your vital organs. 250 00:24:44,699 --> 00:24:47,201 That's what you were created to do. 251 00:24:49,704 --> 00:24:54,208 And sometime around your third or fourth donation, 252 00:24:55,293 --> 00:24:58,045 your short life will be complete. 253 00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:04,134 You have to know who you are and what you are. 254 00:25:05,095 --> 00:25:08,264 It's the only way you'll lead decent lives. 255 00:25:59,524 --> 00:26:02,693 There will be only one announcement this morning, 256 00:26:03,945 --> 00:26:05,487 which is that Miss Lucy, 257 00:26:05,572 --> 00:26:07,990 who was guardian to the fourth-year students, 258 00:26:08,366 --> 00:26:10,743 is no longer working at Hailsham. 259 00:26:14,664 --> 00:26:17,541 A replacement will be found for her, and in the meantime 260 00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:21,628 her classes will be divided between Miss Geraldine and myself. 261 00:26:23,757 --> 00:26:26,300 It is hard, is it not, 262 00:26:26,843 --> 00:26:30,846 to continue in the face of deliberate subversion. 263 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,643 There are those who seek to thwart us, this is clear. 264 00:26:37,062 --> 00:26:40,731 And we are aware that the tide is not with forward thinking. 265 00:26:40,815 --> 00:26:42,149 It never is. 266 00:26:43,318 --> 00:26:47,071 No, the tide is with the entrenched mindset. 267 00:26:47,155 --> 00:26:49,782 With values that are still unexamined. 268 00:26:52,535 --> 00:26:54,912 But I will not be coerced. 269 00:26:59,834 --> 00:27:02,002 I will not be coerced. 270 00:27:04,964 --> 00:27:07,341 And neither will Hailsham. 271 00:28:11,865 --> 00:28:16,410 I didn't understand why, after all her teasing, 272 00:28:17,412 --> 00:28:21,623 Ruth would decide that Tommy was the boy she liked most of all. 273 00:28:30,508 --> 00:28:33,886 They say girls are always mean to the boys they like. 274 00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:40,267 So maybe Ruth had liked him all along. 275 00:28:45,273 --> 00:28:48,150 Maybe I should have teased him, too. 276 00:29:02,373 --> 00:29:04,791 I kept hoping they would separate, 277 00:29:05,001 --> 00:29:08,754 like the other childhood and teenage romances at the school. 278 00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:16,261 They never did. 279 00:29:50,672 --> 00:29:53,423 We were moved from Hailsham at 18 280 00:29:53,508 --> 00:29:55,926 and sent to various accommodations around the country, 281 00:29:56,010 --> 00:29:59,263 to wait until we were old enough to start the donations. 282 00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:03,892 Tommy, Ruth and I 283 00:30:03,977 --> 00:30:07,938 were sent to a collection of farm buildings called The Cottages. 284 00:30:13,778 --> 00:30:15,445 During our stay there, we were told 285 00:30:15,530 --> 00:30:19,157 that some of us would be permitted to volunteer as carers. 286 00:30:21,411 --> 00:30:25,539 But, apart from that, we'd be left largely to our own devices 287 00:30:25,623 --> 00:30:29,835 and even allowed to take day trips into the surrounding countryside. 288 00:30:34,882 --> 00:30:36,800 The Cottages were also our first contact 289 00:30:36,884 --> 00:30:39,803 with those who had not grown up at Hailsham. 290 00:30:40,054 --> 00:30:42,055 There were people from White Mansion, 291 00:30:42,557 --> 00:30:47,102 Oakhill, Morningdale and other homes I'd never heard of. 292 00:30:50,023 --> 00:30:53,734 Everyone seemed wiser and more worldly than us. 293 00:30:56,279 --> 00:30:59,239 None more so than Rodney and Chrissie. 294 00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:02,034 They'd already been at The Cottages for over a year 295 00:31:02,118 --> 00:31:05,329 and would soon be leaving for the completion centers. 296 00:31:05,413 --> 00:31:08,165 Ricky? I don't know what you're talking about. 297 00:31:08,249 --> 00:31:10,125 Oh, I can help you out there. 298 00:31:10,209 --> 00:31:14,129 He's talking about blue eyes, blond hair, cute dimples when he smiles. 299 00:31:14,213 --> 00:31:16,923 And biceps that could crack walnuts. 300 00:31:19,510 --> 00:31:21,428 Jennifer, get real, I saw you with him. 301 00:31:21,512 --> 00:31:25,098 Jen and Ricky sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. 302 00:31:25,933 --> 00:31:28,477 That is so not true. 303 00:31:30,772 --> 00:31:32,272 We weren't in a tree. 304 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:51,458 Hey. 305 00:31:55,505 --> 00:31:57,297 Where you going? 306 00:31:57,965 --> 00:32:00,092 I thought I'd go for a walk. 307 00:32:00,468 --> 00:32:04,471 Does that mean you want to be alone? 308 00:32:35,628 --> 00:32:37,629 I'm not even saying that I'll apply to be a carer. 309 00:32:37,714 --> 00:32:39,965 Just that several people have said that I'd be good at it. 310 00:32:40,299 --> 00:32:42,175 But then Laura went around telling everyone 311 00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:44,761 that I'd been saying I was the most likely to get selected. 312 00:32:44,846 --> 00:32:45,929 That's so not true. 313 00:32:46,013 --> 00:32:47,472 So not true. 314 00:32:47,849 --> 00:32:49,433 Thank you. 315 00:32:52,395 --> 00:32:54,354 I'm getting more plates. 316 00:32:56,023 --> 00:32:57,858 Is there anything left for us? 317 00:32:57,984 --> 00:32:59,985 I don't know. 318 00:33:02,363 --> 00:33:03,739 Perhaps not. 319 00:33:05,199 --> 00:33:07,451 Ruth, why do you do that thing? 320 00:33:08,202 --> 00:33:09,578 Squeezing Tommy's shoulder. 321 00:33:11,914 --> 00:33:13,540 I'm allowed to touch Tommy, aren't I? 322 00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:15,876 It's the way you're touching him. 323 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,378 You know what I mean. It's copied from that television show. 324 00:33:19,547 --> 00:33:20,547 That's so not... 325 00:33:20,631 --> 00:33:23,175 Don't tell me "that's so not true." 326 00:33:25,178 --> 00:33:28,138 All that behavior, that's not what people do out there, in real life, 327 00:33:28,222 --> 00:33:29,473 if that's what you were thinking. 328 00:33:29,557 --> 00:33:32,642 So what? Look, it's no big deal. A lot of us do it. 329 00:33:32,727 --> 00:33:34,811 What you mean is Chrissie and Rod do it. 330 00:33:35,897 --> 00:33:37,731 Oh, Kathy. 331 00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:42,694 So that's what this is about. 332 00:33:43,654 --> 00:33:44,738 It must be really awful for you, 333 00:33:44,822 --> 00:33:46,281 surrounded by all these couples. 334 00:33:46,866 --> 00:33:50,660 I never said that. I just think it's daft. 335 00:33:51,370 --> 00:33:53,955 You copy them, and they copy from a television show. 336 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,124 I'm right, aren't I? 337 00:33:57,084 --> 00:34:01,463 You don't like the fact that Tommy and I are friends with Chrissie and Rod, 338 00:34:01,547 --> 00:34:03,423 whereas you hardly speak to anyone. 339 00:34:06,427 --> 00:34:09,429 No. You're not right. 340 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,516 "So" not right? 341 00:34:31,953 --> 00:34:33,787 Thank you, Mr. Keffers. 342 00:35:40,354 --> 00:35:41,855 Hello, Tommy. 343 00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:44,441 Hello, Kath. 344 00:35:47,904 --> 00:35:52,032 Well, don't just hover in the doorway. Come in. Join the fun. 345 00:35:53,659 --> 00:35:56,369 Didn't know you liked that sort of stuff. 346 00:35:57,663 --> 00:35:59,414 You're very welcome to them after I've finished. 347 00:35:59,874 --> 00:36:02,000 Oh, no, it's just sex stuff. 348 00:36:02,543 --> 00:36:05,378 I expect I've seen them all already anyway. 349 00:36:10,384 --> 00:36:11,801 Kathy, what are you looking for? 350 00:36:12,553 --> 00:36:15,889 What do you mean? I'm just looking at dirty pictures. 351 00:36:17,224 --> 00:36:18,308 What, just for kicks? 352 00:36:18,392 --> 00:36:20,852 I suppose you could say that, yes. 353 00:36:26,734 --> 00:36:30,195 If it's just for kicks, then you don't do it like that. 354 00:36:31,405 --> 00:36:34,032 You need to look at each picture more carefully. 355 00:36:34,241 --> 00:36:36,576 Nothing really happens if you go that fast. 356 00:36:36,869 --> 00:36:39,204 How do you know what works for girls? 357 00:36:41,415 --> 00:36:43,917 Kath, you're not looking for kicks. 358 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,675 Here, give it to Ruth. See if it does anything for her. 359 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:11,444 Hi. 360 00:37:13,864 --> 00:37:16,241 I suppose you've heard what Rod and Chrissie have been saying. 361 00:37:17,284 --> 00:37:18,785 No, I haven't. 362 00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:26,001 Well, you know that Rod and Chrissie 363 00:37:26,085 --> 00:37:27,544 have been thinking of applying to be carers, 364 00:37:27,628 --> 00:37:28,628 so they've been learning how to drive. 365 00:37:28,713 --> 00:37:29,713 Yeah. 366 00:37:29,797 --> 00:37:34,467 Well, last weekend, they went up to a town on the Norfolk coast, 367 00:37:35,261 --> 00:37:37,971 and they think they saw this person. 368 00:37:38,139 --> 00:37:39,556 What kind of person? 369 00:37:40,725 --> 00:37:42,267 A lady 370 00:37:43,436 --> 00:37:44,894 working in an office. 371 00:37:45,438 --> 00:37:46,604 And... 372 00:37:48,357 --> 00:37:49,983 What is it, Ruth? 373 00:37:51,819 --> 00:37:54,738 But they thought this person was a Possible. 374 00:37:57,116 --> 00:37:58,867 For me. 375 00:37:59,577 --> 00:38:00,910 They found your Original? 376 00:38:00,995 --> 00:38:03,329 They aren't sure, obviously, 377 00:38:03,414 --> 00:38:06,416 but Rodney said that the resemblance was really striking. 378 00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:08,793 Oh, my God. Ruth! I know. 379 00:38:10,046 --> 00:38:13,715 They want to drive me back up there so that I can see for myself. 380 00:38:13,841 --> 00:38:16,092 Tommy will come, but... 381 00:38:16,427 --> 00:38:17,844 Do you want me to come? 382 00:38:21,348 --> 00:38:23,308 Ruth, of course. 383 00:38:33,527 --> 00:38:37,614 So, exactly how much experience have you guys had with the outside? 384 00:38:38,491 --> 00:38:39,532 Quite a lot. 385 00:38:39,617 --> 00:38:41,034 No, we haven't. 386 00:38:42,703 --> 00:38:45,789 We did a lot of role-playing exercises at Hailsham. 387 00:38:45,873 --> 00:38:47,540 They don't count. 388 00:38:47,917 --> 00:38:51,169 Okay. Well, don't feel scared. 389 00:38:51,295 --> 00:38:54,297 Okay? There's really... There's nothing to it. 390 00:38:56,092 --> 00:38:57,717 We aren't scared. 391 00:38:58,552 --> 00:39:00,011 Good. 392 00:39:23,202 --> 00:39:24,661 I'll get sausage, egg and chips. 393 00:39:29,208 --> 00:39:30,333 Sausage, egg and chips, please. 394 00:39:30,417 --> 00:39:31,501 Yes, sausage, egg and chips. 395 00:39:31,585 --> 00:39:33,628 Sausage, egg and chips, me, too, please. 396 00:39:34,797 --> 00:39:37,966 Well, I suppose I'd better get sausage, egg and chips, too, then. 397 00:39:38,050 --> 00:39:42,178 Five sausage, egg and chips. Drinks? 398 00:39:44,932 --> 00:39:46,432 Five Cokes, please. 399 00:40:00,948 --> 00:40:03,241 It was good. It was really good. 400 00:40:04,785 --> 00:40:05,994 What? Sorry. 401 00:40:10,749 --> 00:40:15,086 You know, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you lot about. 402 00:40:16,422 --> 00:40:18,715 The problem is that back there at The Cottages it's impossible. 403 00:40:18,799 --> 00:40:21,134 Someone's always listening in. 404 00:40:22,469 --> 00:40:23,887 So, 405 00:40:26,599 --> 00:40:28,892 someone was saying that some Hailsham students in the past 406 00:40:28,976 --> 00:40:31,644 have managed to get a deferral. 407 00:40:31,812 --> 00:40:33,313 Apparently those Hailsham students 408 00:40:33,397 --> 00:40:36,482 could have their first donation put back by three 409 00:40:37,193 --> 00:40:39,611 or even four years. 410 00:40:42,990 --> 00:40:44,991 As long as they qualified. 411 00:40:45,910 --> 00:40:48,119 If there was a boy and a girl, 412 00:40:48,537 --> 00:40:50,538 and they were in love with each other, 413 00:40:50,623 --> 00:40:54,459 really properly in love, and they could prove it, 414 00:40:55,127 --> 00:40:58,046 then they would be given a few years together 415 00:40:58,255 --> 00:41:00,673 before they began their donations. 416 00:41:03,844 --> 00:41:06,095 Where did you hear about this? 417 00:41:06,972 --> 00:41:08,348 When we were at White Mansion. 418 00:41:08,474 --> 00:41:10,642 People there were always going on about this Hailsham couple. 419 00:41:11,310 --> 00:41:12,894 When the guy was only a few weeks from donation, 420 00:41:12,978 --> 00:41:16,481 he just went to see someone. He applied, and everything got sorted out. 421 00:41:17,233 --> 00:41:20,985 I suppose you lot would know about that sort of thing. 422 00:41:21,070 --> 00:41:24,864 Being from Hailsham, you'd know how that sort of thing works. 423 00:41:25,449 --> 00:41:27,867 Who is it you go to? 424 00:41:28,869 --> 00:41:32,372 Who would we talk to if we wanted to apply? 425 00:41:40,798 --> 00:41:42,674 To be honest, I don't know what you're talking about. 426 00:41:44,510 --> 00:41:46,219 Come on. 427 00:41:47,888 --> 00:41:49,222 Do you expect us to believe that? 428 00:41:49,306 --> 00:41:52,141 Everybody knows Hailsham is special. 429 00:41:52,726 --> 00:41:54,394 So what is it? 430 00:41:55,688 --> 00:41:58,273 Why keep these things to yourself? 431 00:42:04,738 --> 00:42:07,407 There were lots of stories at Hailsham. 432 00:42:08,367 --> 00:42:11,869 I don't think many of them turned out to be true. 433 00:42:38,605 --> 00:42:40,523 It may be down here. 434 00:42:50,617 --> 00:42:51,993 Yeah. 435 00:42:52,453 --> 00:42:53,786 That's it. 436 00:43:20,230 --> 00:43:21,981 God, it must be her. 437 00:43:22,816 --> 00:43:25,276 Yeah, that's her. 438 00:43:51,637 --> 00:43:53,262 It's not her. 439 00:43:54,890 --> 00:43:56,891 I'm not her. No, you're not. 440 00:43:57,184 --> 00:43:58,601 It was really close, though. 441 00:43:58,685 --> 00:44:01,270 Oh, shut up, Tommy! It wasn't close. It wasn't close at all. 442 00:44:01,355 --> 00:44:04,690 And I knew it wasn't gonna be her before we even got here! 443 00:44:05,192 --> 00:44:06,901 It was never gonna be her. 444 00:44:07,027 --> 00:44:10,071 They never, ever model us on people like that woman. 445 00:44:10,155 --> 00:44:11,781 Ruth, don't. What? 446 00:44:12,408 --> 00:44:14,534 We all know it, we just never say it. 447 00:44:15,828 --> 00:44:18,121 We are modeled on trash. 448 00:44:18,247 --> 00:44:22,208 Junkies, prostitutes, winos, tramps. 449 00:44:22,835 --> 00:44:25,920 Convicts, maybe, as long as they aren't psychos. 450 00:44:27,047 --> 00:44:31,050 If you want to look for Possibles, if you want to do it properly, 451 00:44:33,220 --> 00:44:34,429 look in the gutter. 452 00:44:36,348 --> 00:44:38,349 That's where we came from. 453 00:45:05,919 --> 00:45:10,298 Hey. 454 00:45:41,788 --> 00:45:43,789 We should go back. 455 00:47:06,707 --> 00:47:09,333 Don't tell me to calm down! 456 00:47:10,294 --> 00:47:12,628 You walked down the pier and you left me there. 457 00:47:12,713 --> 00:47:14,380 You knew I was well upset. 458 00:47:27,227 --> 00:47:28,227 Out here. 459 00:47:43,368 --> 00:47:47,830 Chrissie and Rod are pretty obsessed about this rumor, aren't they? 460 00:47:47,914 --> 00:47:49,874 About the deferrals? Mmm. 461 00:47:52,044 --> 00:47:55,087 I was thinking about it again last night, 462 00:47:55,589 --> 00:47:57,548 and if this rumor's true 463 00:47:58,759 --> 00:48:01,010 it might explain a few things. 464 00:48:01,386 --> 00:48:02,845 Such as? Well, 465 00:48:04,431 --> 00:48:05,848 The Gallery, for instance. 466 00:48:05,932 --> 00:48:09,644 We never got to the bottom of it, what The Gallery was for. 467 00:48:10,020 --> 00:48:12,188 Pictures, poetry and sculpture. 468 00:48:12,272 --> 00:48:13,814 Say something about yourself. 469 00:48:13,982 --> 00:48:16,150 That's the whole point about art, isn't it? 470 00:48:16,234 --> 00:48:19,487 It says what's inside of you. It reveals your soul. 471 00:48:19,946 --> 00:48:21,530 Yeah. So? 472 00:48:31,375 --> 00:48:35,461 Suppose for a second that the rumor is true. 473 00:48:35,629 --> 00:48:38,756 That there is a special arrangement for Hailsham students, 474 00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,383 if they're in love. 475 00:48:41,385 --> 00:48:44,637 Well, there would have to be some kind of way 476 00:48:44,971 --> 00:48:48,974 to decide if couples are telling the truth 477 00:48:49,393 --> 00:48:52,061 and not just lying to put off their donations. 478 00:49:00,070 --> 00:49:02,571 That's what The Gallery could be for. 479 00:49:03,448 --> 00:49:05,825 In The Gallery they have everything about us they need to know. 480 00:49:05,909 --> 00:49:08,244 So if we say that we're in love, 481 00:49:10,038 --> 00:49:12,373 they can look into our souls and they can see. 482 00:49:12,457 --> 00:49:15,167 They'll know if it's real love or if it's just a lie. 483 00:49:16,336 --> 00:49:18,379 That's a strange idea, Tommy. 484 00:49:19,965 --> 00:49:21,048 What? 485 00:49:23,218 --> 00:49:26,220 No, no. I don't think that's any stranger than any other idea. 486 00:49:26,304 --> 00:49:29,724 And didn't Miss Lucy say that making art for The Gallery wasn't even important? 487 00:49:29,808 --> 00:49:31,183 Yes. 488 00:49:32,978 --> 00:49:35,187 But look what happened to her. 489 00:49:46,032 --> 00:49:48,242 Are you thinking of applying? 490 00:49:49,035 --> 00:49:50,536 With Ruth? 491 00:49:53,915 --> 00:49:54,957 No. 492 00:49:56,251 --> 00:49:57,460 It wouldn't work. 493 00:49:59,379 --> 00:50:00,796 Why? 494 00:50:08,180 --> 00:50:09,722 Because 495 00:50:17,898 --> 00:50:19,398 you forget that 496 00:50:20,567 --> 00:50:23,152 you got lots of stuff into The Gallery over the years, 497 00:50:23,236 --> 00:50:26,697 and if I applied they wouldn't have anything to go on. 498 00:50:41,129 --> 00:50:43,297 It's all just rumors and theories. 499 00:50:47,677 --> 00:50:49,136 Yeah, I know. 500 00:50:52,390 --> 00:50:53,891 Tommy. 501 00:51:42,649 --> 00:51:54,201 * Kiss me * 502 00:51:54,286 --> 00:51:56,745 * And never * 503 00:51:56,830 --> 00:52:01,292 * Never * 504 00:52:01,376 --> 00:52:05,170 * Let me go * 505 00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:15,848 * Lock my heart * 506 00:52:18,310 --> 00:52:21,770 * Throw away the key * 507 00:52:22,814 --> 00:52:25,649 * Feel my love * 508 00:52:44,544 --> 00:52:47,046 I know what you think, Kathy. 509 00:52:50,300 --> 00:52:54,303 I know you think that you and Tommy would have made a more natural couple, 510 00:52:55,055 --> 00:52:56,555 and you believe 511 00:52:56,640 --> 00:53:00,100 that there's a chance that Tommy and I will split up some day. 512 00:53:01,561 --> 00:53:05,272 And when we do, perhaps that will be your chance with Tommy. 513 00:53:06,232 --> 00:53:08,567 Chance to do it right this time. 514 00:53:15,951 --> 00:53:18,619 But you see, the thing is, Kathy, 515 00:53:19,162 --> 00:53:22,581 although Tommy really likes you as a friend, 516 00:53:23,708 --> 00:53:26,418 he just doesn't see you that way. 517 00:53:30,590 --> 00:53:33,676 He told me about the porno magazines. 518 00:53:36,471 --> 00:53:38,722 We had quite a laugh about it. 519 00:53:41,685 --> 00:53:45,479 He doesn't understand what you were doing. 520 00:53:47,565 --> 00:53:49,233 But I did. 521 00:53:52,946 --> 00:53:53,946 Oh! 522 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,844 I said I'll just be five minutes. 523 00:54:22,017 --> 00:54:23,809 I want to be a carer. 524 00:54:25,854 --> 00:54:27,229 It's you who I apply to, isn't it? 525 00:54:27,313 --> 00:54:28,647 Yeah. 526 00:54:28,773 --> 00:54:30,774 I said that I'm applying. 527 00:54:33,153 --> 00:54:35,154 I'll bring the forms tomorrow, 528 00:54:35,238 --> 00:54:37,322 and that'll start the process. 529 00:54:48,668 --> 00:54:51,837 By the time Ruth and Tommy actually did separate, 530 00:54:51,921 --> 00:54:54,048 my carer training had already begun. 531 00:54:56,259 --> 00:54:58,844 So I was hardly ever at The Cottages. 532 00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:27,289 It had never occurred to me that our lives, 533 00:55:27,791 --> 00:55:30,209 which had been so closely interwoven, 534 00:55:33,129 --> 00:55:35,714 could unravel with such speed. 535 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:51,939 If I'd known, 536 00:55:52,899 --> 00:55:55,234 maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them 537 00:55:57,695 --> 00:56:00,906 and not let unseen tides pull us apart. 538 00:56:46,369 --> 00:56:48,036 Once I began working with my donors, 539 00:56:48,121 --> 00:56:51,290 I didn't have much time to dwell on Tommy or Ruth. 540 00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:54,001 Eventually, so many years had passed 541 00:56:54,085 --> 00:56:56,837 I came to think I would never see them again. 542 00:57:04,137 --> 00:57:07,681 Many carers find themselves just going through the motions, 543 00:57:07,807 --> 00:57:11,977 waiting for the day that they can stop and become donors. 544 00:57:16,357 --> 00:57:19,902 But for the most part, being a carer has suited me fine. 545 00:57:21,988 --> 00:57:25,240 I quite enjoy traveling across the country, 546 00:57:25,325 --> 00:57:28,952 shuttling from center to center, hospital to hospital. 547 00:57:42,592 --> 00:57:44,051 Here you are. 548 00:57:46,012 --> 00:57:47,512 Dark chocolate. 549 00:57:48,348 --> 00:57:51,683 If you knew how many shops I had to go to before I found those. 550 00:57:51,935 --> 00:57:55,312 I thought I wasn't allowed to eat so soon before the operation. 551 00:57:55,396 --> 00:57:58,565 Oh, you're not. But I am. 552 00:57:58,650 --> 00:57:59,775 And after the operation, 553 00:57:59,859 --> 00:58:02,819 you can wolf down the whole packet in one go. 554 00:58:17,377 --> 00:58:20,462 For me, the real test of being a carer 555 00:58:20,546 --> 00:58:23,674 is when a donor completes earlier than expected. 556 00:58:24,384 --> 00:58:27,719 On the second or even first donation. 557 00:58:28,137 --> 00:58:29,513 Can I just have a quick word? 558 00:58:29,597 --> 00:58:30,681 Okay. 559 00:58:31,933 --> 00:58:34,309 I was wondering who'd be working on Hannah today. 560 00:58:34,394 --> 00:58:37,729 I'd never say I've become immune to the completions. 561 00:58:38,690 --> 00:58:41,692 But they are something I am able to live with. 562 00:58:46,072 --> 00:58:48,532 You're Hannah's carer, aren't you? 563 00:58:49,450 --> 00:58:51,201 Hannah's carer? Yes. 564 00:58:52,495 --> 00:58:56,123 I'm sorry, it's always hard, but there were complications. 565 00:59:00,253 --> 00:59:01,712 You need me to sign the release? 566 00:59:01,796 --> 00:59:03,005 Please. 567 00:59:05,216 --> 00:59:07,301 Are you going to leave now? 568 00:59:07,385 --> 00:59:09,511 We can quite easily provide you with a bed tonight 569 00:59:09,595 --> 00:59:11,096 if you've got a long drive. 570 00:59:11,222 --> 00:59:13,598 I can be back home in under two hours. 571 00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:15,309 It's always better to wake at home, isn't it? 572 00:59:24,861 --> 00:59:26,528 Is that someone you know? 573 00:59:26,654 --> 00:59:28,113 Yeah. 574 00:59:30,491 --> 00:59:32,409 Actually, we grew up together. 575 00:59:32,785 --> 00:59:34,578 Oh. How is she? 576 00:59:34,871 --> 00:59:36,747 Were you close? 577 00:59:36,873 --> 00:59:39,458 We haven't seen each other now for almost 10 years. 578 00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:43,920 Well, Ruth isn't as strong as we would hope, at this stage. 579 00:59:46,132 --> 00:59:48,091 She's done two donations. 580 00:59:48,634 --> 00:59:49,968 She has. 581 00:59:50,970 --> 00:59:52,471 You think she'll complete on the third? 582 00:59:53,348 --> 00:59:55,557 I think she wants to complete. 583 00:59:56,476 --> 01:00:00,812 And, as you know, when they want to complete, they usually do. 584 01:01:20,017 --> 01:01:21,685 Kathy. 585 01:01:32,113 --> 01:01:35,073 I've been keeping tabs on you over the years. 586 01:01:35,324 --> 01:01:36,867 And Tommy, too. 587 01:01:37,201 --> 01:01:39,161 What do you hear about Tommy? 588 01:01:39,245 --> 01:01:42,497 That he's done his second donation, too, 589 01:01:42,582 --> 01:01:45,417 and apparently he's doing very well on it. 590 01:01:46,085 --> 01:01:47,252 Apparently he's in better shape 591 01:01:47,336 --> 01:01:49,796 than some after their first donation. 592 01:01:50,006 --> 01:01:52,757 Good old Tommy. I'm not surprised. 593 01:01:54,886 --> 01:01:56,845 Are you surprised at me? 594 01:01:58,848 --> 01:02:01,683 I expect I look a bit broken, Kath. 595 01:02:03,936 --> 01:02:05,604 It's okay. 596 01:02:05,897 --> 01:02:08,940 I don't think I'd want to survive my third donation, anyway. 597 01:02:09,609 --> 01:02:11,735 You hear things, don't you? 598 01:02:11,944 --> 01:02:13,904 What kind of things? 599 01:02:14,447 --> 01:02:16,239 Oh, you know. 600 01:02:19,452 --> 01:02:21,620 How, maybe, after the fourth donation, 601 01:02:21,704 --> 01:02:24,498 even if you've technically completed, 602 01:02:24,624 --> 01:02:27,792 you're still conscious in some sort of way. 603 01:02:28,711 --> 01:02:32,881 And then you find out that there are more donations, plenty of them. 604 01:02:32,965 --> 01:02:37,177 No more recovery centers. No more carers. 605 01:02:38,930 --> 01:02:40,972 Just watching and waiting. 606 01:02:42,725 --> 01:02:45,060 Till they switch you off. 607 01:02:50,900 --> 01:02:53,318 I don't think I fancy that. 608 01:02:57,323 --> 01:02:59,741 Is it the end of the day already? 609 01:03:01,118 --> 01:03:02,869 Do you know, it's funny, 610 01:03:02,954 --> 01:03:07,249 I think I've thought about you every day for the last few months. 611 01:03:07,333 --> 01:03:09,334 Hoping I'd see you again. 612 01:03:11,003 --> 01:03:13,838 Do you know, I felt sure that I would. 613 01:03:15,341 --> 01:03:20,428 Seemed impossible that I'd complete without seeing you one last time. 614 01:03:22,848 --> 01:03:25,350 It's not the last time, Ruth. 615 01:03:26,352 --> 01:03:28,228 They offered me a bed. 616 01:03:28,312 --> 01:03:30,689 I was planning on staying the night anyway. 617 01:03:30,898 --> 01:03:32,524 Well. 618 01:03:57,466 --> 01:03:59,968 I always knew you'd be a good carer. 619 01:04:00,428 --> 01:04:02,554 Your donors are very lucky. 620 01:04:07,935 --> 01:04:11,021 Look, I was lying awake last night 621 01:04:11,105 --> 01:04:14,065 and I suddenly had an idea that we'd take a trip together. 622 01:04:14,275 --> 01:04:16,067 Where to? 623 01:04:16,569 --> 01:04:19,446 I hadn't much thought of where, just a trip. 624 01:04:23,826 --> 01:04:25,410 Although 625 01:04:26,996 --> 01:04:28,747 a place did spring to mind. 626 01:04:28,831 --> 01:04:31,333 One of the boys on the other floor was talking about it. 627 01:04:31,417 --> 01:04:33,251 It's near the Kingsfield Recovery Center. 628 01:04:33,753 --> 01:04:37,255 Is it the boat? The one left on the beach? 629 01:04:37,381 --> 01:04:38,965 You've heard about it, too? 630 01:04:39,050 --> 01:04:41,593 I heard. One of the carers who worked there. 631 01:04:44,805 --> 01:04:46,556 And do you suppose, 632 01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:50,810 if we're driving all that way, 633 01:04:51,562 --> 01:04:53,855 that we could call in on Tommy? 634 01:04:58,069 --> 01:05:01,029 Told you I'd been keeping tabs on you. 635 01:05:02,740 --> 01:05:04,157 Have you seen him? 636 01:05:05,409 --> 01:05:06,743 No, not since The Cottages. 637 01:05:07,787 --> 01:05:09,412 No, neither have I. 638 01:05:15,544 --> 01:05:17,045 How will we find him? 639 01:05:17,129 --> 01:05:19,798 His carer said he'd be waiting outside. 640 01:05:36,649 --> 01:05:38,149 Look, there he is. 641 01:05:45,032 --> 01:05:48,243 Do you think he's recognized us through the glass? 642 01:05:50,496 --> 01:05:52,330 No, no, no. 643 01:05:52,415 --> 01:05:54,416 Let's not get out. 644 01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:12,267 Ruth's in the car. 645 01:06:12,351 --> 01:06:13,518 Oh, right. 646 01:06:13,644 --> 01:06:15,019 Hey! 647 01:06:15,479 --> 01:06:16,855 Hi! 648 01:06:18,357 --> 01:06:19,691 Hi. Hi. 649 01:06:21,152 --> 01:06:22,193 How are you? 650 01:06:22,278 --> 01:06:23,361 I'm good. 651 01:06:23,696 --> 01:06:24,904 Look at your hair. 652 01:06:24,989 --> 01:06:26,698 Oh, yeah. My hair. 653 01:06:35,124 --> 01:06:37,459 I can't quite believe that I have you both here. 654 01:06:40,504 --> 01:06:42,088 Does it feel to you that we're back at Hailsham again? 655 01:06:42,173 --> 01:06:44,466 Like no time has passed? 656 01:06:45,092 --> 01:06:46,176 No, it doesn't. 657 01:06:46,260 --> 01:06:47,552 No, it doesn't at all, does it? 658 01:06:47,970 --> 01:06:50,722 It really doesn't at all. It's really weird. 659 01:06:50,848 --> 01:06:52,474 But a good weird, I think. 660 01:06:57,354 --> 01:07:00,899 I don't suppose you both heard that Hailsham was closed? 661 01:07:03,486 --> 01:07:06,738 The only schools left now, you hear they're like battery farms. 662 01:07:07,782 --> 01:07:09,407 Like Morningdale. 663 01:07:09,867 --> 01:07:12,911 I'm sure that's an exaggeration, though. 664 01:07:15,039 --> 01:07:17,248 Are you sure we're going the right way? 665 01:07:33,432 --> 01:07:34,933 It's locked, it looks like. 666 01:07:35,851 --> 01:07:37,352 No one said anything about this. 667 01:07:37,436 --> 01:07:39,187 No one said anything about a locked gate. 668 01:07:39,271 --> 01:07:42,106 Ruth, just relax. It's okay. 669 01:07:50,783 --> 01:07:52,617 Can walk through here. 670 01:08:20,646 --> 01:08:21,688 Wow. 671 01:08:35,160 --> 01:08:37,287 Hey, come on. 672 01:09:24,919 --> 01:09:28,046 I wonder if that's what Hailsham looks like now. 673 01:09:30,674 --> 01:09:33,635 Do you ever hear, Kath, about any of the students from Hailsham? 674 01:09:33,719 --> 01:09:35,637 Sometimes, yeah. 675 01:09:37,139 --> 01:09:42,101 I heard that Amanda completed on her first donation. 676 01:09:42,728 --> 01:09:45,813 I think that happens more than they ever tell us. 677 01:09:45,898 --> 01:09:46,898 Hmm. 678 01:09:46,982 --> 01:09:50,777 Yeah, there was this guy at my care center 679 01:09:50,903 --> 01:09:55,907 who was always really scared of completing on his first donation. 680 01:09:57,117 --> 01:09:58,910 But it was all fine. 681 01:09:58,994 --> 01:10:01,913 And he's just come through his third one now, 682 01:10:02,539 --> 01:10:05,416 and he's completely all right. 683 01:10:10,547 --> 01:10:12,674 It's funny, I don't think... 684 01:10:13,759 --> 01:10:15,843 Well, I know I wouldn't have been a very good carer, 685 01:10:15,928 --> 01:10:17,971 but in a way I actually think I'm quite a good donor. 686 01:10:18,055 --> 01:10:20,765 That's what we're supposed to be, isn't it? 687 01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:34,946 I'd like you to forgive me. 688 01:10:37,574 --> 01:10:39,367 I don't expect you to. 689 01:10:39,952 --> 01:10:41,077 Forgive you for what? 690 01:10:48,377 --> 01:10:50,712 For keeping you and Tommy apart. 691 01:10:54,591 --> 01:10:57,885 Should have been you two together, I always knew it. 692 01:10:57,970 --> 01:11:00,221 As far back as I can remember. 693 01:11:02,224 --> 01:11:05,643 It wasn't just because of the rumors about deferrals. 694 01:11:10,107 --> 01:11:12,316 It was because I was jealous. 695 01:11:14,903 --> 01:11:19,032 You had real love and I didn't, 696 01:11:22,828 --> 01:11:26,164 and I didn't want to be the one that was left alone. 697 01:11:37,301 --> 01:11:38,968 It's the worst thing I ever did. 698 01:11:43,515 --> 01:11:45,850 And now I want to put it right. 699 01:11:46,226 --> 01:11:47,935 I don't know how you can do that, Ruth. 700 01:11:48,437 --> 01:11:49,854 I can 701 01:11:51,356 --> 01:11:53,024 if you two get a deferral. 702 01:11:54,026 --> 01:11:56,194 It's too late for that, Ruth. 703 01:11:56,695 --> 01:11:59,530 Way too late. It's stupid to even think about it. 704 01:11:59,740 --> 01:12:03,910 It isn't too late. Look, you'll see, both of you. 705 01:12:04,661 --> 01:12:09,207 I wanted to do this trip because I had something that I wanted to give you. 706 01:12:10,667 --> 01:12:12,543 It's Madame's address. 707 01:12:15,464 --> 01:12:19,175 That's who you apply to. That's who you have to go and see. 708 01:12:21,970 --> 01:12:23,763 How did you get this? 709 01:12:25,474 --> 01:12:29,268 It wasn't easy, but I've had years to think about what I did. 710 01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:33,898 And years to try and work out a way to make it right. 711 01:13:18,944 --> 01:13:22,155 I started doing them when we were at The Cottages. 712 01:13:22,322 --> 01:13:24,824 The day after we went to find Ruth's Possible. 713 01:13:24,950 --> 01:13:27,869 I realized that if I was ever going to apply for a deferral, 714 01:13:27,953 --> 01:13:30,204 then I'd have to show them something. 715 01:13:31,623 --> 01:13:34,625 And I've done hundreds of them over the years. 716 01:13:36,170 --> 01:13:37,837 They're wonderful. 717 01:13:38,630 --> 01:13:40,131 What? Really? 718 01:13:40,382 --> 01:13:41,799 Yeah. 719 01:13:43,385 --> 01:13:45,052 Well, thank you. 720 01:13:57,191 --> 01:14:00,318 I have never showed anyone them until now. 721 01:14:02,779 --> 01:14:04,864 They were my secret. 722 01:14:06,575 --> 01:14:09,327 Just like you and those porno magazines. 723 01:14:10,078 --> 01:14:11,746 You remember that? 724 01:14:12,164 --> 01:14:13,247 Yeah. 725 01:14:15,751 --> 01:14:17,668 Ruth said you didn't understand what I was doing. 726 01:14:17,753 --> 01:14:19,879 No, I don't think she understood what you were doing. 727 01:14:20,047 --> 01:14:22,048 She thought you were looking at the dirty pictures 728 01:14:22,132 --> 01:14:24,675 in order to find out about sex 729 01:14:26,762 --> 01:14:30,389 and to find out what you were missing out on or something. 730 01:14:33,894 --> 01:14:35,436 I knew. 731 01:14:37,105 --> 01:14:40,233 I knew you were looking for your Original. 732 01:14:42,903 --> 01:14:46,697 I used to have these huge urges to have sex sometimes. 733 01:14:47,699 --> 01:14:50,243 And sometimes they'd be so powerful, 734 01:14:50,786 --> 01:14:52,703 I just thought I'd do it with anyone. 735 01:14:55,207 --> 01:14:58,042 So I thought that had to tell me something. 736 01:14:58,168 --> 01:15:00,962 Something about the kind of person I was modeled on. 737 01:15:03,382 --> 01:15:05,049 It's stupid, 738 01:15:06,635 --> 01:15:09,720 but I guessed the magazines would be the most likely place I'd find her. 739 01:15:11,890 --> 01:15:13,641 You know those urges are natural, don't you? 740 01:15:13,725 --> 01:15:17,270 You know all of us had them. You know that now, right? 741 01:15:30,993 --> 01:15:32,743 "From Basrah we sailed, 742 01:15:34,162 --> 01:15:37,915 "day after day, night after night, over the sea, 743 01:15:39,042 --> 01:15:42,920 "visiting island after island and land after land, 744 01:15:44,256 --> 01:15:47,300 "selling or bartering our goods at each. 745 01:15:50,887 --> 01:15:55,349 "One day, after some weeks of sailing out of sight of land, 746 01:15:55,434 --> 01:15:58,144 "we saw an island in the sea with such fair greenery 747 01:15:58,228 --> 01:16:01,439 "that it appeared like one of the gardens of Eden. 748 01:16:02,024 --> 01:16:05,443 "At once the captain made towards this delectable land 749 01:16:05,527 --> 01:16:09,530 "and, when the anchor had been cast and the ladder lowered, 750 01:16:09,614 --> 01:16:12,450 "allowed his passengers to disembark." 751 01:16:19,082 --> 01:16:20,791 Don't stop. 752 01:18:46,646 --> 01:18:51,525 Ruth got it right. Right street, right door, everything. 753 01:18:56,031 --> 01:18:59,575 We have to decide which of my drawings we're gonna take. 754 01:19:02,996 --> 01:19:05,623 Just take the best ones. Maybe six or seven of them. 755 01:19:05,707 --> 01:19:07,708 You have to help me. Yeah, I know. 756 01:19:14,049 --> 01:19:16,884 So, we'll just go there. 757 01:19:16,968 --> 01:19:18,010 Mmm. 758 01:19:18,094 --> 01:19:19,762 Next week. 759 01:19:19,846 --> 01:19:22,389 I'll take you out for lab tests, I'll sign you out for the whole day 760 01:19:22,474 --> 01:19:24,183 and we'll visit Madame on the way back. 761 01:19:40,867 --> 01:19:42,993 We're going to do it. 762 01:19:45,288 --> 01:19:47,331 I thought you should know. 763 01:19:50,335 --> 01:19:52,211 You're going to apply? 764 01:19:54,965 --> 01:19:56,340 Yes. 765 01:20:02,097 --> 01:20:03,514 Good. 766 01:22:06,638 --> 01:22:08,514 Madame? 767 01:22:13,812 --> 01:22:15,229 Sorry. 768 01:22:16,106 --> 01:22:18,315 We didn't mean to startle you. 769 01:22:18,983 --> 01:22:20,734 We were at Hailsham. 770 01:22:25,490 --> 01:22:27,825 I'm Kathy. This is Tommy. 771 01:22:30,328 --> 01:22:32,663 We're not here to give you any trouble. 772 01:22:36,126 --> 01:22:37,584 From Hailsham? 773 01:22:37,669 --> 01:22:39,211 We just came to talk to you. 774 01:22:41,089 --> 01:22:43,340 And I brought you some things. 775 01:22:44,342 --> 01:22:47,219 Some things you might like for your Gallery. 776 01:22:49,389 --> 01:22:50,973 Come inside. 777 01:23:26,468 --> 01:23:28,469 Please, wait here. 778 01:23:46,571 --> 01:23:48,363 Look, it's Hailsham. 779 01:23:50,074 --> 01:23:52,242 Kathy, it's Hailsham. 780 01:23:54,204 --> 01:23:56,914 That's exactly how I remember it. 781 01:24:04,005 --> 01:24:05,631 Please, sit down. 782 01:24:20,939 --> 01:24:22,314 So... 783 01:24:25,527 --> 01:24:27,027 We're in love. 784 01:24:27,821 --> 01:24:30,364 And it's true love. It's verifiable. 785 01:24:31,449 --> 01:24:33,450 Verifiable. I see. 786 01:24:39,499 --> 01:24:40,999 Go on. 787 01:24:41,251 --> 01:24:42,668 Well, 788 01:24:44,337 --> 01:24:46,964 we'd heard about the deferrals. 789 01:24:49,175 --> 01:24:51,927 And we'd worked out the purpose of The Gallery. 790 01:24:53,304 --> 01:24:55,055 Tell me the purpose. 791 01:24:56,850 --> 01:24:59,935 To use our art from Hailsham 792 01:25:00,144 --> 01:25:02,479 to look into our souls, 793 01:25:03,523 --> 01:25:06,942 which would verify that we deserved a deferral. 794 01:25:07,652 --> 01:25:11,029 But the problem is 795 01:25:11,114 --> 01:25:13,991 I was a little bit mixed up back then 796 01:25:14,075 --> 01:25:18,287 and I didn't really do any art, 797 01:25:19,956 --> 01:25:22,291 so you never took anything of mine. 798 01:25:22,375 --> 01:25:25,836 I know, I know that that is my fault 799 01:25:25,920 --> 01:25:29,131 and it is probably much too late, 800 01:25:29,215 --> 01:25:31,216 but I brought some stuff with me today. 801 01:25:37,181 --> 01:25:40,267 This is a book of stuff and... 802 01:25:52,363 --> 01:25:54,406 Other stuff here. 803 01:25:59,203 --> 01:26:02,331 Some of them I've done quite recently, 804 01:26:03,374 --> 01:26:04,708 and others 805 01:26:06,669 --> 01:26:09,546 were done several years ago, so there's a real spread. 806 01:26:10,840 --> 01:26:14,134 You already have a load of stuff from Kath already. 807 01:26:14,218 --> 01:26:17,262 She got loads of stuff into The Gallery over the years, didn't... 808 01:26:17,388 --> 01:26:19,056 I'm sorry. 809 01:26:22,393 --> 01:26:24,353 I never know what to do. 810 01:26:31,194 --> 01:26:33,070 I'll take it from here. 811 01:26:38,952 --> 01:26:40,619 Thank you, George. 812 01:26:45,083 --> 01:26:47,501 Kathy H and Tommy D. 813 01:26:49,253 --> 01:26:51,213 I remember you both. 814 01:26:51,756 --> 01:26:54,883 Kathy, a bright girl, and so creative. 815 01:26:55,176 --> 01:26:58,470 And Tommy, a big heart and terrible rages. 816 01:27:02,725 --> 01:27:04,434 You have to understand, 817 01:27:05,436 --> 01:27:10,023 Hailsham was the last place to consider the ethics of donation. 818 01:27:10,441 --> 01:27:13,819 We used your art to show what you were capable of. 819 01:27:14,487 --> 01:27:17,155 To show that donor children are all but human. 820 01:27:18,992 --> 01:27:22,953 But we were providing an answer to a question no one was asking. 821 01:27:24,539 --> 01:27:26,748 If you ask people to return to darkness, 822 01:27:26,833 --> 01:27:31,336 the days of lung cancer, breast cancer, motor neurone disease, 823 01:27:32,296 --> 01:27:34,172 they'll simply say no. 824 01:27:37,552 --> 01:27:40,846 We used to get two or three couples like you a year. 825 01:27:42,473 --> 01:27:44,391 Not so much these days. 826 01:27:45,893 --> 01:27:48,395 You're the first for quite a while. 827 01:27:52,525 --> 01:27:54,818 To apply for a deferral? 828 01:28:03,244 --> 01:28:05,662 There are no deferrals, Tommy. 829 01:28:10,668 --> 01:28:14,880 There are no deferrals. And there never have been. 830 01:28:25,349 --> 01:28:29,102 We didn't have The Gallery in order to look into your souls. 831 01:28:29,520 --> 01:28:32,731 We had The Gallery to see if you had souls at all. 832 01:28:45,787 --> 01:28:47,454 Do you understand? 833 01:28:58,341 --> 01:28:59,716 Yes. 834 01:29:06,557 --> 01:29:09,392 Your drawings are very good. 835 01:29:10,728 --> 01:29:13,230 If you want, I'll keep them. 836 01:30:15,668 --> 01:30:17,794 Thank you for talking to us. 837 01:30:21,632 --> 01:30:23,383 You poor creatures. 838 01:30:25,178 --> 01:30:27,137 I wish I could help you. 839 01:31:27,073 --> 01:31:29,699 Sorry, can we stop for a second? I need to get out. 840 01:34:37,513 --> 01:34:40,098 It's been two weeks since I lost him. 841 01:35:10,713 --> 01:35:12,922 I've been given my notice now. 842 01:35:16,760 --> 01:35:19,429 My first donation is in a month's time. 843 01:35:28,105 --> 01:35:31,357 I come here and imagine that this is the spot 844 01:35:31,442 --> 01:35:35,361 where everything I've lost since my childhood has washed up. 845 01:35:39,325 --> 01:35:42,660 I tell myself if that were true, 846 01:35:43,496 --> 01:35:45,830 and I waited long enough, 847 01:35:46,916 --> 01:35:50,793 then a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field 848 01:35:50,961 --> 01:35:54,923 and gradually get larger until I'd see it was Tommy. 849 01:35:57,968 --> 01:35:59,552 He'd wave 850 01:36:00,012 --> 01:36:01,888 and maybe call. 851 01:36:04,225 --> 01:36:07,268 I don't let the fantasy go beyond that. 852 01:36:07,478 --> 01:36:08,811 I can't let it. 853 01:36:10,940 --> 01:36:14,943 I remind myself I was lucky to have had any time with him at all. 854 01:36:19,490 --> 01:36:21,741 What I'm not sure about 855 01:36:22,243 --> 01:36:26,829 is if our lives have been so different from the lives of the people we save. 856 01:36:29,792 --> 01:36:31,709 We all complete. 857 01:36:34,171 --> 01:36:37,882 Maybe none of us really understand what we've lived through 858 01:36:39,843 --> 01:36:42,387 or feel we've had enough time. 859 01:43:05,437 --> 01:43:10,858 When we are scattered afar and asunder 860 01:43:11,193 --> 01:43:16,405 Parted are those who are singing today 861 01:43:16,990 --> 01:43:22,620 When we look back and forgetfully wonder 862 01:43:23,121 --> 01:43:28,584 What we were like in our learning and play 863 01:43:29,002 --> 01:43:34,507 Oh, the great days will bring distance enchanted 864 01:43:34,758 --> 01:43:39,845 Days of fresh air in the rain and the sun 865 01:43:40,389 --> 01:43:45,726 How we rejoiced as we struggled and panted 866 01:43:46,186 --> 01:43:53,150 Echoes of dreamland, Hailsham lives on 60504

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