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1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...
Why do you look like
you're gonna cry?
2
00:00:03,328 --> 00:00:06,331
A year ago, I was a TV
weather girl in San Antonio,
3
00:00:06,331 --> 00:00:08,750
and now I'm living in a
garage with the 17-year-old
4
00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:09,918
who got me pregnant.
5
00:00:09,918 --> 00:00:11,753
I'll be 18 before you know it.
6
00:00:11,753 --> 00:00:13,421
But not before you're a father!
7
00:00:13,421 --> 00:00:15,465
It's gonna be okay.
8
00:00:16,674 --> 00:00:18,176
Is it?
9
00:00:18,176 --> 00:00:20,762
I peed in the sink last night.
10
00:00:21,763 --> 00:00:23,932
Trust me. I'll fix this.
11
00:00:23,932 --> 00:00:25,517
Make yourself at home.
12
00:00:25,517 --> 00:00:27,769
Oh. Thank you so much.
13
00:00:27,769 --> 00:00:29,354
It's only temporary. I promise.
14
00:00:29,354 --> 00:00:30,980
Oh. No problem.
15
00:00:30,980 --> 00:00:32,357
Stay as long as you need.
16
00:00:32,357 --> 00:00:33,858
Bathroom's right down the hall.
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00:00:33,858 --> 00:00:35,485
Oh, boy, a bathroom.
18
00:00:38,363 --> 00:00:39,364
Here you go--
19
00:00:39,364 --> 00:00:41,783
scrambled eggs, bacon,
20
00:00:41,783 --> 00:00:45,787
biscuits and fresh-squeezed
orange juice.
21
00:00:45,787 --> 00:00:47,664
Thank you. Looks amazing.
22
00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:48,790
Where's mine?
23
00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:50,208
You're not pregnant. She is.
24
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,335
Well, I like to think
we're pregnant.
25
00:00:53,294 --> 00:00:54,587
Really?
26
00:00:54,587 --> 00:00:56,047
Are your ankles swollen?
27
00:00:56,047 --> 00:00:57,507
Did you throw up this morning?
28
00:00:57,507 --> 00:00:58,800
Are you constipated?
29
00:00:58,800 --> 00:00:59,968
No, dear.
30
00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:01,177
Stop calling me "dear."
31
00:01:01,177 --> 00:01:02,303
I'm not your dear.
32
00:01:02,303 --> 00:01:03,137
You want breakfast,
33
00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:04,389
eggs are here,
34
00:01:04,389 --> 00:01:05,390
stove is there.
35
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,516
Knock yourself out.
36
00:01:06,516 --> 00:01:07,642
I get she's pregnant.
37
00:01:07,642 --> 00:01:09,060
I don't know why
you're so moody.
38
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,728
On the count of three...
39
00:01:10,728 --> 00:01:12,897
I'm leaving, I'm leaving.
40
00:01:12,897 --> 00:01:14,315
Have a good day, Mama.
41
00:01:14,315 --> 00:01:16,484
Ugh. "Mama."
42
00:01:16,484 --> 00:01:19,404
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
43
00:01:19,404 --> 00:01:22,031
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
44
00:01:22,031 --> 00:01:24,492
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
45
00:01:24,492 --> 00:01:27,412
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
46
00:01:27,412 --> 00:01:31,416
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
47
00:01:34,502 --> 00:01:36,087
Since losing his job,
48
00:01:36,087 --> 00:01:38,298
one of the few upsides
for my dad
49
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,634
was having the house to himself
to enjoy some peace and quiet.
50
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:43,052
Billy!
51
00:01:43,052 --> 00:01:45,597
Stop feeding the chickens
Cap'n Crunch!
52
00:01:45,597 --> 00:01:47,348
But they like it.
We've been over this.
53
00:01:47,348 --> 00:01:50,184
You don't eat their food,
they don't eat yours.
54
00:01:50,184 --> 00:01:52,270
Everything okay over there?
55
00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:54,230
Yeah.
56
00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:56,107
Doesn't sound okay.
57
00:01:56,107 --> 00:01:58,192
Oh. You don't want to know.
58
00:01:58,192 --> 00:01:59,527
Tell me.
59
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,698
He's failing math,
60
00:02:03,698 --> 00:02:05,033
and they might hold him back.
61
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,951
That's rough.
62
00:02:06,951 --> 00:02:09,704
I try helping him, but math
was never my strong suit.
63
00:02:09,704 --> 00:02:11,247
Yeah, I hear ya.
64
00:02:11,247 --> 00:02:12,540
And when you do try to
help 'em, they realize
65
00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:13,708
how dumb you are.
66
00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:15,668
You think...
67
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:17,420
Sheldon would help Billy?
68
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:20,798
I'm not sure helping
others is where he shines.
69
00:02:20,798 --> 00:02:23,051
Pissing 'em off--
he's got that down cold.
70
00:02:24,052 --> 00:02:26,220
Well, then I'm screwed.
71
00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:27,639
I can't afford a tutor.
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00:02:29,057 --> 00:02:30,475
Let me talk to Sheldon,
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00:02:30,475 --> 00:02:31,559
see what I can do.
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00:02:31,559 --> 00:02:33,561
Appreciate it.
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00:02:33,561 --> 00:02:34,646
Mom, look!
76
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,816
That chicken is not a hat!
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00:02:38,816 --> 00:02:40,485
Hurry.
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00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:44,906
Hey. How was school?
79
00:02:44,906 --> 00:02:46,157
Sucked.
80
00:02:46,157 --> 00:02:47,325
Language.
81
00:02:47,325 --> 00:02:48,618
You asked, and it did.
82
00:02:48,618 --> 00:02:49,744
What happened?
83
00:02:49,744 --> 00:02:51,245
I don't want to talk about it.
84
00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:52,288
Are you sure?
85
00:02:52,288 --> 00:02:54,207
I'm a pretty good listener.
86
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:56,459
Then why didn't you hear me say
I don't want to talk about it?
87
00:02:56,459 --> 00:02:59,087
Is this about a boy?
Mom.
88
00:02:59,087 --> 00:03:01,923
I-I do have some experience
on the subject.
89
00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:03,716
Please, the only two boys
you have experience with
90
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,510
are Dad and Jesus.
91
00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:06,969
I'm gonna go talk to Meemaw.
92
00:03:08,429 --> 00:03:10,807
I know other boys.
93
00:03:10,807 --> 00:03:13,309
And then he walked right on
by me like I wasn't there.
94
00:03:13,309 --> 00:03:15,269
Does he even know you like him?
95
00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:17,772
I don't know. I've ignored him,
been mean to him.
96
00:03:17,772 --> 00:03:19,357
What else can I do?
97
00:03:19,357 --> 00:03:21,984
Sounds like you've
tried everything.
98
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,778
Okay.
99
00:03:23,778 --> 00:03:25,446
I've got an idea.
100
00:03:25,446 --> 00:03:26,948
Why don't you just tell him?
101
00:03:26,948 --> 00:03:28,533
But what if he
doesn't like me back?
102
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:29,617
I would die.
103
00:03:29,617 --> 00:03:31,119
You will not die.
104
00:03:31,119 --> 00:03:32,912
Oh, yes, I will.
I will be dead,
105
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,163
and you will be sad
at my funeral.
106
00:03:34,163 --> 00:03:35,790
How about this--
107
00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:37,458
why don't you get
one of your girlfriends
108
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,335
to find out
how he feels about you.
109
00:03:39,335 --> 00:03:42,547
Why?
Because then you don't have
to put yourself on the spot.
110
00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:45,133
Okay. And if he
doesn't like me back,
111
00:03:45,133 --> 00:03:46,718
I'll just keep being mean
to him until he does.
112
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,928
I don't know why that works.
113
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,388
Men are dumb.
114
00:03:50,388 --> 00:03:52,140
Does that mean
we're dumb for liking 'em?
115
00:03:53,182 --> 00:03:56,144
It's not a good look for us.
116
00:04:00,356 --> 00:04:01,649
You busy?
117
00:04:01,649 --> 00:04:03,234
Yes, but I'm also excellent
118
00:04:03,234 --> 00:04:05,820
at bifurcating
my cognitive abilities. Hit me.
119
00:04:07,155 --> 00:04:09,407
Billy is struggling with math,
and, mm,
120
00:04:09,407 --> 00:04:11,325
his mom was hoping
that you could tutor him.
121
00:04:11,325 --> 00:04:12,243
I could.
122
00:04:12,243 --> 00:04:13,244
Great.
123
00:04:13,244 --> 00:04:13,995
But I won't.
124
00:04:13,995 --> 00:04:15,538
Why not?
125
00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,498
Because me teaching Billy
is like trying to use
126
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:18,916
the gravitational power
of a neutron star
127
00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:20,668
to change the spin of a boson.
128
00:04:20,668 --> 00:04:22,503
Don't do that.
129
00:04:22,503 --> 00:04:24,213
If he doesn't pass math,
130
00:04:24,213 --> 00:04:25,590
they're gonna hold him back.
131
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:26,799
That's the system working.
132
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:28,009
Very Darwinian.
133
00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:30,678
Yeah. Never mind.
134
00:04:30,678 --> 00:04:32,513
Yeah, I told Brenda teaching
wasn't really your thing.
135
00:04:33,681 --> 00:04:34,849
Well, it's not that
I can't do it.
136
00:04:34,849 --> 00:04:35,975
Don't worry about it.
137
00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,310
You're good at a lot of things.
138
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,895
Teaching just ain't one of 'em.
139
00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:41,355
I know what you're doing.
It's reverse psychology.
140
00:04:41,355 --> 00:04:42,607
I don't know what
you're talking about.
141
00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:45,109
It's childish and obvious.
142
00:04:45,109 --> 00:04:46,903
So you'll do it?
Yes, I'll do it.
143
00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:49,864
Thanks for the pie.
144
00:04:49,864 --> 00:04:52,408
Mandy keeps bringing all
these leftovers from the diner.
145
00:04:52,408 --> 00:04:55,369
Well, she's lucky to have you.
146
00:04:55,369 --> 00:04:56,579
Mm-hmm.
147
00:04:56,579 --> 00:04:58,080
And Missy, too.
148
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,875
Lucky, lucky.
149
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:03,294
Oh, it's killing you, isn't it?
150
00:05:03,294 --> 00:05:04,712
What? No.
151
00:05:04,712 --> 00:05:05,755
I...
152
00:05:05,755 --> 00:05:07,215
I am happy
153
00:05:07,215 --> 00:05:10,718
that she has an adult
she can confide in
154
00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:12,804
about...
155
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,641
Come on. Just tell me.
156
00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:18,643
I would.
157
00:05:18,643 --> 00:05:22,313
But the bond between a girl
and her grandmother is...
158
00:05:22,313 --> 00:05:23,773
sacred.
159
00:05:23,773 --> 00:05:26,275
I am her mother
and I am your daughter.
160
00:05:26,275 --> 00:05:27,652
Give me something.
161
00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:30,905
It's just boy stuff, okay?
162
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,075
That she'd rather
talk to you about.
163
00:05:34,075 --> 00:05:35,243
That's right.
164
00:05:38,246 --> 00:05:39,288
There you go.
165
00:05:40,248 --> 00:05:42,416
Eat those feelings.
166
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:44,252
All right, I'm given
to understand you have
167
00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:46,587
a test coming up on
negative numbers and fractions.
168
00:05:46,587 --> 00:05:47,964
Yeah.
169
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:50,132
So, what part
don't you understand?
170
00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:54,428
Oh, boy.
171
00:05:54,428 --> 00:05:55,888
Let's take it back a step.
172
00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,306
Where do you stand
on addition, subtraction,
173
00:05:57,306 --> 00:05:58,975
multiplication and division?
174
00:05:58,975 --> 00:06:00,935
I'm against it.
175
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,646
Oh, boy.
176
00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:05,898
Hope you like tuna salad.
177
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:07,233
I brought you a whole tub.
178
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,776
How old is it?
179
00:06:08,776 --> 00:06:10,611
I don't know,
but the clock's ticking.
180
00:06:10,611 --> 00:06:12,446
Meemaw?
181
00:06:12,446 --> 00:06:13,739
Uh-oh.
182
00:06:13,739 --> 00:06:14,782
We need to talk.
183
00:06:14,782 --> 00:06:17,368
Hi.
What's going on?
184
00:06:17,368 --> 00:06:19,245
I told Heather
that I liked Kevin
185
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:21,289
so she could find out
if he liked me back.
186
00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:22,832
Then she asked him out.
187
00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:24,166
What?
She didn't even think
188
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,960
he was cute
until I said I liked him.
189
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,169
Well, why'd
you tell her?
190
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,337
She told me to.
191
00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:29,630
'Cause that's
how you find out
192
00:06:29,630 --> 00:06:31,132
if somebody likes you
in school.
193
00:06:31,132 --> 00:06:33,843
That's o-one way.
194
00:06:33,843 --> 00:06:35,344
Why? What would you have done?
195
00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:38,306
Uh, well, you put him
on Heather's radar
196
00:06:38,306 --> 00:06:39,599
when you said
you liked him.
197
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,183
I probably would
have dropped a note
198
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,185
in his locker or asked
one of his guy friends.
199
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,687
That makes so much more sense.
200
00:06:45,563 --> 00:06:46,689
Why didn't you tell me that?
201
00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:47,899
I gave you good advice.
202
00:06:47,899 --> 00:06:49,984
It's not my fault
Heather sucks.
203
00:06:49,984 --> 00:06:51,819
So what do I do now?
204
00:06:51,819 --> 00:06:53,029
Well, the first thing...
205
00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:53,988
I was talking to her.
206
00:07:00,636 --> 00:07:02,744
Okay, your basic
arithmetic skills
207
00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:04,437
are disappointing
but functional.
208
00:07:04,437 --> 00:07:05,146
Thank you.
209
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,533
All right, let's talk
about negative numbers.
210
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:08,826
I'm all ear.
211
00:07:08,826 --> 00:07:09,869
"Ears."
212
00:07:09,869 --> 00:07:11,328
No. "Ear."
213
00:07:11,328 --> 00:07:12,913
This one's clogged.
214
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,915
Right. Okay.
215
00:07:14,915 --> 00:07:17,543
Negative numbers are numbers
that are less than zero.
216
00:07:17,543 --> 00:07:19,545
But zero's nothing. Yes.
217
00:07:19,545 --> 00:07:21,547
So how can you have
less than nothing?
218
00:07:21,547 --> 00:07:22,715
Let's see.
219
00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:24,049
How about this?
220
00:07:24,049 --> 00:07:26,177
If you have a dollar,
that's one.
221
00:07:26,177 --> 00:07:28,345
If you have no dollars,
that's zero.
222
00:07:28,345 --> 00:07:30,431
But if you owe me a dollar,
that's negative one.
223
00:07:30,431 --> 00:07:31,515
Does that make sense?
224
00:07:31,515 --> 00:07:32,808
I think so.
225
00:07:32,808 --> 00:07:34,185
All right,
we're making progress.
226
00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:35,478
Mom!
227
00:07:35,478 --> 00:07:37,480
I owe Sheldon
a dollar.
228
00:07:38,606 --> 00:07:39,899
Tomorrow, I'm
gonna tell Heather
229
00:07:39,899 --> 00:07:41,358
what a bitch she
is in front of everyone.
230
00:07:41,358 --> 00:07:43,277
No, no, no.
Don't show your cards.
231
00:07:43,277 --> 00:07:45,738
Tomorrow, you're gonna be
her best friend.
Why?
232
00:07:45,738 --> 00:07:47,239
'Cause then
she'll tell you things,
233
00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:48,532
and you can
use those things against her.
234
00:07:48,532 --> 00:07:49,950
Oh. You're good.
235
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:51,619
I know.
236
00:07:51,619 --> 00:07:54,413
It's nice to have someone
to talk to about this stuff.
237
00:07:54,413 --> 00:07:57,708
My mom's pretty religious,
and my meemaw's kind of old.
238
00:07:57,708 --> 00:07:58,793
Hey.
239
00:07:58,793 --> 00:08:00,753
I'm sitting right here.
240
00:08:02,546 --> 00:08:03,714
Evening.
241
00:08:03,714 --> 00:08:05,966
I thought you
were with Missy.
242
00:08:05,966 --> 00:08:07,676
Oh.
243
00:08:07,676 --> 00:08:10,387
I thought it was a good idea
if she talked to Mandy.
244
00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:14,475
They're closer in age.
245
00:08:17,269 --> 00:08:18,771
She threw you over,
didn't she?
246
00:08:18,771 --> 00:08:20,731
Without hesitation.
247
00:08:20,731 --> 00:08:22,733
Stings, don't it?
248
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,068
It do.
249
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,320
Well, regardless,
250
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,323
I'm glad Missy has someone
she can talk to.
251
00:08:29,323 --> 00:08:32,243
Like a big sister. Yeah.
252
00:08:32,243 --> 00:08:34,912
Who got knocked up
by a 17-year-old knucklehead.
253
00:08:34,912 --> 00:08:36,413
Why does she want to talk
to her instead of us?
254
00:08:36,413 --> 00:08:38,582
Pisses me off.
255
00:08:38,582 --> 00:08:39,667
Hey. What's up?
256
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,544
Nothing.
Just making dinner.
257
00:08:41,544 --> 00:08:42,795
What's going on with you?
258
00:08:42,795 --> 00:08:44,547
Just trying to stay busy.
259
00:08:44,547 --> 00:08:46,799
Keep my mind off the fact
that the mother of my child
260
00:08:46,799 --> 00:08:47,925
doesn't want me around.
261
00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:49,593
Oh, honey,
I'm sorry.
262
00:08:49,593 --> 00:08:52,137
Hey. Maybe you could put
in a good word for me.
263
00:08:52,137 --> 00:08:54,598
And what would that word be?
264
00:08:54,598 --> 00:08:56,809
Take your pick. Dependable.
265
00:08:56,809 --> 00:08:59,353
Hardworking. Trustworthy.
266
00:08:59,353 --> 00:09:00,354
Sexy.
267
00:09:00,354 --> 00:09:01,105
Georgie.
268
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,273
You're right.
269
00:09:02,273 --> 00:09:04,233
Sexy's how I got
into this pickle.
270
00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:08,821
And if you add negative one
and positive one,
271
00:09:08,821 --> 00:09:09,989
you get?
272
00:09:09,989 --> 00:09:11,323
Zero?
273
00:09:11,323 --> 00:09:13,117
Correct.
274
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,618
I think I understand.
275
00:09:14,618 --> 00:09:16,120
Good.
One question--
276
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,163
how can you have zero
if zero is nothing?
277
00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:20,958
It's not something
that you have.
278
00:09:20,958 --> 00:09:23,002
Zero represents
a state of nothingness.
279
00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:25,629
What does that mean?
280
00:09:25,629 --> 00:09:27,464
It's nothingness.
281
00:09:27,464 --> 00:09:29,008
The absence of somethingness.
282
00:09:30,342 --> 00:09:31,719
Trust me, zero is a thing.
283
00:09:31,719 --> 00:09:33,304
But you just said
it's a nothing.
284
00:09:33,304 --> 00:09:35,139
I did.
285
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,932
Which is it?
286
00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:38,726
A something or a nothing?
287
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:43,147
We have a problem.
288
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,064
What?
289
00:09:44,064 --> 00:09:45,733
Zero might not exist.
290
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:49,153
Of course zero exists.
291
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,863
Great.
Then explain it to me.
292
00:09:50,863 --> 00:09:52,907
Easy.
Zero is nothing.
293
00:09:52,907 --> 00:09:55,034
But how can nothing
be a thing?
294
00:09:56,118 --> 00:09:57,453
Think of it this way--
295
00:09:57,453 --> 00:09:59,371
picture an empty box.
296
00:09:59,371 --> 00:10:00,998
All right.
297
00:10:00,998 --> 00:10:02,207
What's in the box?
298
00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:03,626
Nothing.
299
00:10:03,626 --> 00:10:05,794
It's not nothing.
Air, atoms, molecules--
300
00:10:05,794 --> 00:10:07,838
that empty box
is as full as full can be.
301
00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:10,341
Regardless,
302
00:10:10,341 --> 00:10:12,509
zero is very important.
303
00:10:12,509 --> 00:10:14,261
I'm not saying
it isn't important.
304
00:10:14,261 --> 00:10:16,347
I'm just saying the little
round guy ain't real.
305
00:10:16,347 --> 00:10:18,349
You're being silly.
306
00:10:18,349 --> 00:10:20,434
Zero is a number,
307
00:10:20,434 --> 00:10:22,227
like every other number.
308
00:10:22,227 --> 00:10:24,104
Oh, yeah?
Can you divide with it?
309
00:10:24,104 --> 00:10:25,564
Well...
310
00:10:26,732 --> 00:10:28,233
No.
311
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:29,944
In fact, the Greek philosopher
Parmenides said,
312
00:10:29,944 --> 00:10:32,321
"Nothing cannot exist,
because to speak of something
313
00:10:32,321 --> 00:10:34,907
is to speak of something
that exists."
314
00:10:34,907 --> 00:10:37,242
Well, I suppose...
315
00:10:37,242 --> 00:10:39,411
you could look at it that way.
316
00:10:39,411 --> 00:10:41,038
Dr. Sturgis,
317
00:10:41,038 --> 00:10:42,247
zero isn't real.
318
00:10:45,376 --> 00:10:46,585
I feel dizzy.
319
00:10:50,089 --> 00:10:52,091
Need any help
making dinner?
320
00:10:52,091 --> 00:10:53,092
You?
321
00:10:53,092 --> 00:10:54,134
Yeah.
322
00:10:54,134 --> 00:10:56,053
Since when?
323
00:10:56,053 --> 00:10:58,889
Since I thought I should learn
to cook for Mandy and the baby.
324
00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:02,935
Georgie, that is the sweetest
thing I've ever heard.
325
00:11:02,935 --> 00:11:04,603
Well, I'm a sweet boy.
326
00:11:04,603 --> 00:11:05,938
So what are
we doing here?
327
00:11:06,939 --> 00:11:08,732
We are peeling potatoes.
328
00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:09,900
Cool.
329
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,276
Why?
330
00:11:11,276 --> 00:11:13,070
'Cause we're making
mashed potatoes
331
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,571
and we don't want
the skins in 'em.
332
00:11:14,571 --> 00:11:16,115
Uh-huh.
333
00:11:16,115 --> 00:11:17,157
Why?
334
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:20,744
'Cause mashed potatoes
are supposed to be smooth.
335
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:21,996
Hmm.
336
00:11:21,996 --> 00:11:23,622
You know a lot
about potatoes.
337
00:11:23,622 --> 00:11:25,332
Go ahead. Peel one.
338
00:11:25,332 --> 00:11:26,500
You think I'm ready?
339
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,252
Only one way to find out.
340
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,296
I'll see ya later.
341
00:11:31,296 --> 00:11:32,131
Where you going?
342
00:11:32,131 --> 00:11:33,132
To dinner.
343
00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:34,258
I'm cooking.
344
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:36,135
Actually, we're cooking.
345
00:11:36,135 --> 00:11:37,678
Actually, we're bleeding.
346
00:11:37,678 --> 00:11:39,138
Mandy's taking me to dinner.
347
00:11:39,138 --> 00:11:40,431
What about homework?
348
00:11:40,431 --> 00:11:41,432
Don't have any.
349
00:11:41,432 --> 00:11:42,599
Can I go with y'all?
350
00:11:42,599 --> 00:11:44,309
I thought you were
helping me cook.
351
00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:45,144
Hang on.
352
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:46,270
Can I?
353
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,688
No. It's girls' night.
354
00:11:47,688 --> 00:11:48,731
Bye.
355
00:11:51,525 --> 00:11:53,610
Might want to wash
this one off.
356
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:55,112
Oh.
357
00:11:55,112 --> 00:11:56,822
Any updates on Kevin?
358
00:11:56,822 --> 00:11:59,533
I did what you said and
was nothing but nice to Heather.
359
00:11:59,533 --> 00:12:00,868
Okay. How'd that go?
360
00:12:00,868 --> 00:12:02,161
So good.
361
00:12:02,161 --> 00:12:03,787
I found out
she stuffs her bra.
362
00:12:03,787 --> 00:12:05,539
Huh. See?
When the time is right,
363
00:12:05,539 --> 00:12:06,999
you can destroy her with that.
364
00:12:06,999 --> 00:12:08,959
That's gonna be a good day.
365
00:12:08,959 --> 00:12:10,711
And that trick
isn't just for middle school.
366
00:12:10,711 --> 00:12:12,713
That's something you can use
for the rest of your life.
367
00:12:12,713 --> 00:12:14,298
You are so wise.
368
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:17,134
Well, I have
lived a little.
369
00:12:17,134 --> 00:12:18,302
And so pretty.
370
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,636
You should be on TV.
371
00:12:19,636 --> 00:12:21,513
Actually,
when I lived in San Antonio,
372
00:12:21,513 --> 00:12:23,057
I was a weather girl.
373
00:12:23,057 --> 00:12:25,017
Oh, my God,
you were a TV star?
374
00:12:25,017 --> 00:12:26,977
Monday through Friday,
00 a.m.,
375
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:28,228
right before the farm report.
376
00:12:28,228 --> 00:12:30,064
Okay, you're, like, my new hero.
377
00:12:30,064 --> 00:12:31,857
Oh, stop. You could
totally be a weather girl.
378
00:12:31,857 --> 00:12:34,860
No. They're all perfect
and blonde. Like you.
379
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:36,820
Anybody can be blonde.
380
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:38,489
You think
Madonna's really blonde?
381
00:12:38,489 --> 00:12:40,157
What?
382
00:12:40,157 --> 00:12:41,533
She's a brunette.
383
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:43,660
What about
her Blond Ambition Tour?
384
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:46,663
Ha. More like Bottle Blond
Ambition Tour.
385
00:12:46,663 --> 00:12:48,832
Funny and beautiful.
386
00:12:48,832 --> 00:12:50,834
No wonder my brother
put a baby in you.
387
00:12:56,507 --> 00:12:57,508
What's wrong?
388
00:12:57,508 --> 00:12:59,176
Zero.
389
00:12:59,176 --> 00:13:01,011
Zero is wrong?
390
00:13:01,011 --> 00:13:02,888
Zero doesn't exist.
391
00:13:03,889 --> 00:13:04,932
I don't understand.
392
00:13:04,932 --> 00:13:06,517
Neither do we.
393
00:13:06,517 --> 00:13:08,936
Dr. Linkletter,
there's no such thing as zero.
394
00:13:08,936 --> 00:13:11,105
That's preposterous.
Of course there is.
395
00:13:11,105 --> 00:13:13,232
Prove it, tough guy.
396
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:18,821
Uh-oh.
397
00:13:22,324 --> 00:13:23,951
May I have that?
398
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:30,582
Over here.
399
00:13:37,214 --> 00:13:38,799
Uh-oh.
400
00:13:44,981 --> 00:13:46,217
Let me see.
401
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:47,108
It's bad.
402
00:13:47,108 --> 00:13:48,235
Just stay calm.
403
00:13:48,235 --> 00:13:49,277
I'm sure it's fine.
404
00:13:49,277 --> 00:13:50,445
It's the end of my life.
405
00:13:50,445 --> 00:13:51,905
Just show me.
406
00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:58,477
Oh, my.
407
00:13:58,477 --> 00:14:00,813
That is... something.
408
00:14:00,813 --> 00:14:02,356
I can probably be
homeschooled, right?
409
00:14:03,983 --> 00:14:05,651
It's okay. We can fix this.
410
00:14:05,651 --> 00:14:06,736
Before my parents get home?
411
00:14:06,736 --> 00:14:07,987
They're gonna kill me.
412
00:14:07,987 --> 00:14:09,238
Oh, man.
413
00:14:09,238 --> 00:14:10,823
Look at your head.
414
00:14:10,823 --> 00:14:12,742
Shut up!
Georgie, don't make this worse.
415
00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:14,535
There's worse?
416
00:14:14,535 --> 00:14:15,995
Anyone home?
417
00:14:15,995 --> 00:14:17,997
Okay, stay here.
We'll stall him.
418
00:14:17,997 --> 00:14:19,749
Do you see
her head?
419
00:14:19,749 --> 00:14:21,167
Oh.
420
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,711
Hey. What's up?
421
00:14:23,711 --> 00:14:26,213
Nothing. Nada.
Absolutely nothing.
422
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,548
Where are the kids?
423
00:14:28,507 --> 00:14:30,718
Well, I believe
Sheldon's at Billy's.
424
00:14:31,677 --> 00:14:33,596
Oh, good. He's helping him.
425
00:14:33,596 --> 00:14:35,681
Mm.
And Missy?
426
00:14:35,681 --> 00:14:37,099
Missy...
427
00:14:37,099 --> 00:14:38,851
That's a good question.
428
00:14:38,851 --> 00:14:40,394
I haven't seen her.
429
00:14:40,394 --> 00:14:44,190
I have not seen her,
personally, myself.
430
00:14:45,191 --> 00:14:46,525
Okay.
431
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:53,324
We're a good team,
me and you.
432
00:14:53,324 --> 00:14:54,617
Oh, not now, Georgie.
433
00:14:55,743 --> 00:14:58,287
I'm afraid I have
some bad news.
434
00:14:58,287 --> 00:15:01,040
If you mean I'm gonna
be left back, it's okay.
435
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,082
You tried.
436
00:15:02,082 --> 00:15:04,001
No. Well, maybe.
437
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:05,795
I have bad news about zero.
438
00:15:05,795 --> 00:15:07,254
It doesn't exist.
439
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,714
So I was right?
440
00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:10,424
No one is more shocked
than I am.
441
00:15:10,424 --> 00:15:12,885
I can't help you
with your test.
442
00:15:12,885 --> 00:15:15,137
Without zero, I don't even know
what math is anymore.
443
00:15:15,137 --> 00:15:16,388
Hmm.
444
00:15:16,388 --> 00:15:18,474
Yeah. Hmm.
445
00:15:18,474 --> 00:15:20,976
What if we just
pretend it exists?
446
00:15:21,977 --> 00:15:24,563
Are you saying to accept zero
as an act of faith?
447
00:15:24,563 --> 00:15:25,439
Was I?
448
00:15:25,439 --> 00:15:26,899
I think so.
449
00:15:26,899 --> 00:15:28,442
Okay.
450
00:15:28,442 --> 00:15:30,361
My mom accepts God
as an act of faith,
451
00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:32,279
and zero is way more useful
than God.
452
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,990
Do not say that
around Pastor Jeff.
Think about it.
453
00:15:34,990 --> 00:15:36,659
Without zero,
we wouldn't have calculus.
454
00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:38,953
Without God, we wouldn't have
Spanish Inquisition.
455
00:15:38,953 --> 00:15:41,455
I know the Spanish
word for "fajita."
456
00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:43,123
And don't forget--
before the Big Bang,
457
00:15:43,123 --> 00:15:44,458
there was actually nothing.
458
00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:45,835
It's "fajita."
459
00:15:45,835 --> 00:15:47,962
So you could say
the entire universe
460
00:15:47,962 --> 00:15:49,421
was born out of zero.
461
00:15:49,421 --> 00:15:52,258
Meaning that zero created
the universe, not God.
462
00:15:52,258 --> 00:15:54,260
Maybe we should pray to it.
463
00:15:54,260 --> 00:15:55,636
I think we should.
464
00:15:57,429 --> 00:15:59,431
Zero, it's me, Sheldon.
465
00:15:59,431 --> 00:16:00,891
I know I doubted you,
but in my defense,
466
00:16:00,891 --> 00:16:02,810
you're literally nothing.
467
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:05,104
I would like to thank you for
all the gifts you've given us--
468
00:16:05,104 --> 00:16:07,439
the null set,
Fibonacci sequence,
469
00:16:07,439 --> 00:16:08,816
binary language.
470
00:16:08,816 --> 00:16:10,818
I could go on
ad infinitum,
471
00:16:10,818 --> 00:16:12,194
but not without you.
472
00:16:12,194 --> 00:16:14,697
Ask Zero
to help me pass my test.
473
00:16:14,697 --> 00:16:16,448
Zero's not magic.
You still have to study.
474
00:16:16,448 --> 00:16:18,659
Oh. Then I'm going back
to Jesus.
475
00:16:18,659 --> 00:16:20,619
Jesus, please help me.
476
00:16:20,619 --> 00:16:23,122
I'm already the biggest kid
in sixth grade.
477
00:16:24,623 --> 00:16:27,084
Amen.
478
00:16:32,631 --> 00:16:34,466
Hello? Who's in there?
479
00:16:34,466 --> 00:16:36,010
Me.
480
00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:37,469
I need to use the bathroom.
481
00:16:37,469 --> 00:16:38,971
Give me a minute.
482
00:16:42,224 --> 00:16:44,977
Can someone give me a hand
with these groceries?
483
00:16:44,977 --> 00:16:46,395
Sure. Dad, come on.
484
00:16:46,395 --> 00:16:47,897
I got to go to the bathroom.
485
00:16:47,897 --> 00:16:49,356
Hey, Mandy.
486
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,399
Mrs. Cooper.
487
00:16:50,399 --> 00:16:51,984
What brings you here?
488
00:16:52,985 --> 00:16:54,320
Just saying hi to Georgie.
489
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:57,198
Why, hello to you, too.
490
00:16:58,741 --> 00:17:00,367
Let's get a move on.
491
00:17:03,662 --> 00:17:05,039
Oh, boy.
492
00:17:05,039 --> 00:17:07,041
Damn it, Missy.
I'm two seconds away
493
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:08,918
from peeing
in your mother's prayer garden.
494
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:11,503
Look what I found.
495
00:17:11,503 --> 00:17:13,005
What the hell?
496
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:13,881
Melissa Cooper,
497
00:17:13,881 --> 00:17:15,341
what did you do?
498
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,551
Yeah. What did you do?
499
00:17:18,594 --> 00:17:19,845
Yeah.
500
00:17:19,845 --> 00:17:21,180
Good news.
I think Billy
501
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,057
might pass his
math test tomorrow.
502
00:17:23,057 --> 00:17:24,767
There's a math test tomorrow?
503
00:17:24,767 --> 00:17:26,518
Your hair is
upsetting me.
504
00:17:26,518 --> 00:17:28,395
Screw it.
I'm going outside.
505
00:17:38,948 --> 00:17:40,532
You can cheat off me
if you want.
506
00:17:40,532 --> 00:17:41,617
I studied.
507
00:17:41,617 --> 00:17:43,077
Thanks.
508
00:17:44,328 --> 00:17:46,872
I'm not saying
it was God or zero,
509
00:17:46,872 --> 00:17:49,458
but a small miracle
did happen that day.
510
00:17:49,458 --> 00:17:52,127
Billy passed the test with a 68
511
00:17:52,127 --> 00:17:55,047
and went on
to the seventh grade.
512
00:17:55,047 --> 00:17:57,591
Where he remained
for the next several years.
33465
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