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There are moments in
life, you never truly forget.
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Like your first school massacre.
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Your first demonic possession...
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or your first suicide attempt.
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My name is Beth Connor,
and for the past 17 years.
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My life has gone straight to video..
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Figuratively and literally.
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I know what you're thinking.
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Teenage suicide is such a cliche in horror.
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They say that life is one great big movie.
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But no matter what I do, I
can't seem to pick my genre.
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I've tried everything.
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Self mutilation.
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Poisoning.
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And even hanging.
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And I still end up in another horror movie.
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I think the only way to erase
your existence in this genre
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is by blowing your fucking brains out!
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Well, Bottoms Up for a romantic comedy.
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And don't worry. It's vegan milk.
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No animals were harmed in
ones self-righteous suicide.
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You know, I always imagined
date rape pills tasted like candy.
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Not like ass!
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I mean, what's the
incentive to even take them?
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Well, remember kids, it's
down the road not across the street!
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Well, I guess I'm stuck
in another horror movie.
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With 30 somethings
portraying high school students.
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Nonsensical-violence and
edgy social commentary.
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God, I hate low budget movies.
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You know, what I wouldn't
give for a happy ending?
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And by happy ending, I mean...
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Let's shoot this straight to
DVD piece of shit already!
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Fuck you!
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♪ “S.A.S.S.” by Hands off Gretel ♪
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♪ "Do You Dare" by Die So Fluid ♪
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I'm sorry, Dad never visits mum.
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You know, they say I get my looks from you.
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And I'm trying to abide by the mantra: live fast,
die young and leave a good-looking corpse behind.
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You know, just like Diana...
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The Princess of Wales.
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God, please prick my arm with heroin and blow my
fucking brains out like the patron Saint Kurt Cobain
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Beth! Beth Conner!
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Never mind.
Yoohoo!
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Beth!
Fucksake I'm coming!
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Beth! Sport! We got here just in the
nick of time. You forgot your packed-lunch!
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So you followed me all
the way from our house?
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And another nutritious lunch,
I'm sure! I'm vegan, remember!
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And let's not forget, your
18th birthday is next week.
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I'd hate to break it to you, but you are a
lousy stepmom substitute... Frankie Sullivan.
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Beth Conner. We've been through this.
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Mommy Conner is dead and buried
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#nostalgia is cancer!
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#don't make me stick those 17 characters up your...
- Ladies!
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Beth, please.
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Take your lunch.
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Must we ask twice?
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I don't know Dad? How about we grab a couple
of shovels and get a fourth opinion!?
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Have a splendid day at school, sport!
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♪ “DTH FLG” by The Black Halos ♪
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Well, welcome to purgatory...
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Every student deserves to experience a school
massacre, at least once in their lives.
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It's a right of passage. Why
deny them of their God-given right?
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I didn't ask you Nancy, I asked him!
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TUSK!
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Let's talk about the
tragedies of 1999, shall we?
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NATO bombed Yugoslavia, Clinton was acquitted
in the senate, Family Guy premiered on FOX...
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and, Henenlotter High experienced
it's first school massacre.
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Resulting in loss of revenue and the
closure of this very academic institution.
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Meanwhile back in America.
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We not only survived, but
thrived. Making Columbine...
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A household name.
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Look at it this way! The school board no
longer has to worry about - lack of funding!
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On-demand streaming channels will pay a handsome
seven figures for an .. 'academic faux-pas'
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Like, I don't know!?
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Gee-wizz. A school shooting!?
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And of course before any student gets trigger happy at our proposal, we of
course need to make sure all the correct sponsorship and marketing are in place.
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After all, controversy creates cash.
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Mark my words Everbone, I'll do
everything and anything in my power
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to prevent another tragedy
happening here at Henenlotter High.
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Why don't we introduce the brand spanking
new headmaster of Henenlotter High?
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A new headmaster!?
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Remember the "Reams for Less Massacre"!?
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When Henenlotter High alum Peltzer Arbuckle summoned his
imaginary friend Ronnie to shoot up the school, back in 1999?
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The British school board did nothing.
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And then 15 years later. The duo returned
to assassinate a stationary company in
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the infamously-titled
"Reams for Less Massacre".
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And still, the people of
Henenlotter did nothing.
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Except for one.
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Marcus, Henenlotter High has hired the one American
who put a stop to that Drop-dead-Fred bullshit.
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Please, everyone, welcome the
new headmaster of Henenlotter High!
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Allow me to re-introduce myself...
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My name is Mr Sawyer.
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And Marcus, I hear you're the best.
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In fact, I hear that
you're the best... by par!
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I am having so much fun!
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Students!
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00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:39,216
Greetings and salutations Beth Conner!
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Tell me, do goth vegans masturbate
with cucumbers or crucifixes these days?
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Give me a fucking break
Mr Auteur Filmmaker.
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The power of the pickle compels you!
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That's Ethan Rembrandt,
Henenlotter High's resident date rapist.
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And the brother of the late
narcissistic dickhead Stiles Rembrandt.
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And you know what they say?
Like brother, like date rapist!
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Everyone knows the token goth girl is a
school massacre cliche waiting to happen!
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All you need is a trench
coat, and hey presto!
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You could be the premature
love child of Harris and Klebold!
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Why subvert the expectation?
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Trench coats are so 1999.
Didn't you get the memo?
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#nostalgia is cancer.
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Anyway, please allow me to introduce...
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Please give a warm welcome, and
put your hands together for Mr Sawyer!
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Wahhh!
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Woah!! Yes, sir.
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Ooh.. Thank you so
much for that introduction.
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Come on people, give it up
for Clyde, my number one guy!
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Yes, sir!
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Good morning Henenlotter Hamsters…
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Now I'd like to speak to you
all regarding a very, very...
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controversial subject.
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00:10:02,175 --> 00:10:03,675
Now...
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No, you didn't.
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FUCK!
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Fucker, Fucker, Motherfucker!
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Well, that's one way to deal with unruly
students dressed up as former presidents.
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And let us return to the American precept that every
individual is accountable for his own actions.
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I love it when you quote Ronnie
Reagan. It makes me so moist...
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Naturally.
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Whoopsie fucking daisy!
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WHOOPSIE FUCKING DAISY!
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Whoopsie fucking daisy!
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00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:21,050
Now, my home country has a long
and rich history of school massacres...
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We know a thing about a thing or two.
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So I thought. Why not bring a slice
of Americana here to the British isles.
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That's right folks!
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We here at Henenlotter
High will host the very first.
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ALL YOU CAN EAT MASSACRE!
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What's wrong, Ethan?
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Ran out of potential victims so you have
to lower your standards for the goth girl.
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But Beth... it's the All
You Can Eat Massacre!
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Ooh!
No no no no no.
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Take a look, in wonder, Deetz Montgomery.
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My love, my life, my everything.
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WOOF!
- Okay, we need to talk about Deetz Montgomery.
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School secretary by day...
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And nymphomaniac
banjo-snapping mega bitch by night.
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Not to mention, the significant other of our
brand spanking new headmaster Mr Sawyer.
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00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:22,258
And whilst Mr Sawyer
only has eyes for Deetz.
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00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,258
Deetz has eyes for that dickhead
sitting behind me, Ethan Rembrandt.
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00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:30,966
And together, Deetz and Ethan became Henenlotter's
answer to Gislane Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein.
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Grooming and sodomizing vulnerable
students in exchange for top grades.
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Whilst Deetz and Ethan live out their sordid
fantasies, unbeknownst to poor Mr Sawyer.
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Poetic and fucked up, right!?
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Now at the inaugural All
You Can Eat Massacre.
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Sweet suicide.
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Imagine blowing your fucking
brains out with that thing?
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God it's beautiful..
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Students will have the option to
binge and purge as they see fit.
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So the winner either gets
the chance to commit suicide, blah!
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Or shoot up Henenlotter High!
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Kinda like pro choice!
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00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:15,591
Or pro death!
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Prolapse!
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00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:22,258
And now to paraphrase
Big Willy Shakespeare:
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"To kill yourself, or to
kill your classmates!?
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That is the motherfucking question!"
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And now an instructional
video from Dr. Samuel Weil...
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Kill the lights!
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Alec Baldwin... nrrrgh!
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Wasn't that riveting!?
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00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:50,883
Very riveting! Very riveting!
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00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:55,091
Now, I would like to introduce you to
the new English teacher, Miss Campbell.
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A fellow American, so give it up!
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Thank you, Mr Sawyer for
that eloquent introduction.
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Today is a new beginning
for us here at Henenlotter High.
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So remember, be kind to each other...
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Or I'll kill ya!
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Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pewwww!
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Tough crowd.
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00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,925
Alfred Packer also known
as the Colorado Cannibal...
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was an American prospector and self
proclaimed professional wilderness guide.
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Who confessed to cannibalism
during the winter of 1874.
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You totally have a boner
for Miss Campbell?
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Something wrong, Miss Conner?
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00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,716
Beth...
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would you eat me?
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Boy... would I?
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Wake up! Sleeping beauty!
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00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:26,050
Now Miss Conner, I would appreciate it if you
didn't take up all your time doodling in my class.
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Do we have an understanding, Miss Conner?
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Yes, ma'am.
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Good!
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00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:39,258
Now, when Packer returned to town, he claimed
that he'd been abandoned by his party…
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but he eventually confessed that his party had
resorted to cannibalism in order to stay alive.
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You know, if you don't have a boner for Miss
Campbell, you can always attend to mine!
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00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,258
How about a five knuckle shuffle, Beth?
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00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,841
And I'll Jackson Pollock
your desk with my love goo!
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You are a fucking pig!
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Oink! Oink!
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Chill out, Beth. I got you covered.
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All you goth girls really
need is a damn good...
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00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,800
Fingering!
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00:16:09,716 --> 00:16:11,008
Arrgh! Why?
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00:16:11,091 --> 00:16:14,675
Why me!? Fuck me Jesus on a pogo stick!
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00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:32,883
Beth!?
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00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,258
Miss Campbell called earlier...
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regarding an incident,
with Ethan Rembrandt?
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00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,300
Do we care to explain?
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00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:06,258
She wanted to let us know that he
not going to be pressing charges!
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00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:09,550
Charges? He forced
his finger into my mouth!
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00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,883
It wasn't finger food, Beth!
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00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,258
And what was I supposed to do?
Ask him to stop?
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00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:21,258
"OMG Ethan, stop mouth raping me with
your index finger! This isn't consensual!"
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00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:26,091
Nevertheless, we have been
discussing things, Frankie... and myself!
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00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:32,050
And we would like you
a, to invite him around...
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For dinner.
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You've got to be fucking kidding me!?
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00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,258
Let's try that again shall we?
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00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:43,258
That would be nice. We'll see
you tomorrow at dinner, Frankie.
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Come on Beth. What's the line?
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Go fuck yourself, Frankie!
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00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:03,925
Heavenly Miss Campbell,
please show me the way.
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00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,258
I know it will be sinful
to end a man's life.
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But Ethan Rembrandt is the
epitome of toxic masculinity.
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Sexually assaulting girls and getting off scott free just
because the school secretary has a life affirming rape kink?
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00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:20,008
Please, just give me a sign.
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00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,258
If you want me to kill the cunt?
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00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:27,633
Any... sign... at all?
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00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,883
Destroy all men!
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The sisterhood of the coven have spoken.
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Fuck the patriarchy!
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00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:40,341
♪ “Let's Get Rid of Elizabeth”
by Wasted Prospects ♪
231
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,258
Ethan, I really am so
sorry about yesterday.
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00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:48,258
Do you really mean it? I mean I hold no...
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00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:49,591
Grudges.
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00:18:49,883 --> 00:18:53,258
Of course, I mean my parents
would love to have you over...
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00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:54,966
What you doing?
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00:18:55,091 --> 00:18:56,466
Cara mia.
237
00:18:56,633 --> 00:19:00,216
No, Ethan. That's not
appropriate. Not in public.
238
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:02,341
Eww, gross. Clarissa, look!
239
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:05,258
Eww, Sabrina. Do you see what I see?
240
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:06,675
Melissa!?
241
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:12,258
Well, I never thought Henenlotter High
would approve of inter-clique erotica.
242
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:14,175
In fact, Clarissa...
243
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:16,716
Please stop with the
generic bullying stereotypes.
244
00:19:16,883 --> 00:19:19,550
And 90s TV character name checks.
245
00:19:20,008 --> 00:19:21,425
It's painful.
246
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:23,258
Interesting take, Beth.
247
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,258
You know, I'm surprised
you're still hungry.
248
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:29,050
Especially after you chowed down
on Ethan's poor finger yesterday.
249
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,050
You have no idea.
250
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,091
Don't worry, ladies.
251
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:36,258
Tonight I'll be converting her
into a full-blown preppy carnivore.
252
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:44,258
In fact, we saw you making eyes
at the new English teacher earlier...
253
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,260
planning on inviting Miss Campbell to
the All You Can Eat Massacre contest?
254
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:51,258
Don't give her ideas, Clarissa. You
said we were going to win that contest.
255
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:54,258
I. I said that I was
going to win that contest.
256
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:59,258
Check your station, Sabrina and understand
where you are in this pecking order.
257
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,966
I'm the lead.
258
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,258
And Beth, when I win that contest,
you'll be the first person on my kill list.
259
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:08,050
Please, please. Kill me now...
260
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:12,050
I'm going to exterminate all the
freaks and goths at Henenlotter High.
261
00:20:12,258 --> 00:20:15,966
Like it's 1940's Nazi
Germany, move over Schindler,
262
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:20,258
Clarissa's list only has room
for the elite student body!
263
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:24,258
Imagine if she did invite Miss
Campbell to the eating contest.
264
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,258
I bet she would quite literally.
265
00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:29,508
Eat... her... out.
266
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:39,300
♪ “Get Through the Day” by Twiztid ♪
267
00:20:44,716 --> 00:20:45,925
Sabrina
268
00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:47,216
Melissa.
269
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,883
And Clarissa
270
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:51,091
aka: The Mean Girls
271
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:55,258
who wanted to be "Heathers" but
we're too busy sucking on "Jawbreakers".
272
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:58,258
And obsessing over the Tyler
McIntyre movie "Tragedy Girls".
273
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,258
Not to mention causing school
buses to "Crash and Burn" -
274
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:04,258
and I ain't talking 'bout no
Charles Band movie, either...
275
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:08,258
Did you forget!? Henenlotter
High ain't your jurisdiction.
276
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,258
Yeah! We're The Mean
Girls around here, Mister.
277
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:14,258
For fucksake, try and make it
sound less scripted next time.
278
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:17,258
You're a 30 year old woman,
playing a high school student, okay!?
279
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:19,841
Come on, Clarissa, let me go...
280
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:22,175
Without an apology!?
281
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:32,258
This is going to hurt you, a lot
more than it's going to hurt me.
282
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:34,591
Ahhhhh!
283
00:21:36,550 --> 00:21:37,675
Ahhhhh!
284
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,258
And how about the time they!?-
285
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:47,258
- Enough with the exposition,
Beth Conner. They get it...
286
00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:52,716
Meta and self aware foreshadowing
is so fucking pretentious...
287
00:21:53,883 --> 00:21:57,258
Maybe this woke princess
needs a taste of other white meat.
288
00:21:57,300 --> 00:21:59,716
Instead of this vegan slop...
289
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:09,966
Let's fucking go!
290
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:13,258
♪ “Never Coming Back” by Our Last Enemy ♪
291
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:25,258
Eat me, Gomez Addams, I fucking dare you!
292
00:22:26,925 --> 00:22:28,800
You think that's edgy!?
293
00:22:28,883 --> 00:22:30,841
Explain this, Clarissa..
294
00:22:39,300 --> 00:22:41,633
On the contrary, Mr Conner.
295
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:46,841
What the fuck am I supposed
to explain to Clarissa's parents?
296
00:22:46,966 --> 00:22:49,633
I'm sorry, your daughter
was an art class this afternoon
297
00:22:49,758 --> 00:22:52,258
studying Van Gogh, and lost a fucking ear!?
298
00:22:52,300 --> 00:22:54,258
Let Clarissa explain it all...
299
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,508
Listen, Mr S.
300
00:22:59,091 --> 00:23:01,758
Soy.
Sawyer.
301
00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:05,758
We are deeply and sincerely apologetic
302
00:23:06,008 --> 00:23:09,966
for the way our dear daughter
has reacted to this situation.
303
00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:13,258
I can assure you. We
didn't bring her up like this.
304
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:14,966
Did we, Mark?
305
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:18,216
What can I say? She's a hungry girl...
306
00:23:18,883 --> 00:23:20,175
Clyde...
307
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:22,258
What Mr Sawyer is trying to say,
308
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:25,175
is that we feel your daughter,
309
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:26,966
enjoys the old...
310
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:35,258
Guys, she's one horror movie
away from shooting up the school.
311
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,758
Columbine 2: Electric Boogaloo
312
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,550
Are you fucking kidding me?
313
00:23:43,841 --> 00:23:45,800
This school is enabling school massacres
314
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:49,841
by allowing students to choose between
killing their friends or killing themselves.
315
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:53,091
Beth, you need to broaden your mind
316
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:55,276
about zero percent of
fucking kids out there right now
317
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:57,258
are gonna actually amount to anything.
318
00:23:57,550 --> 00:24:00,883
I'm giving them the
option to binge and purge
319
00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:06,341
so they have no one else
to blame but themselves
320
00:24:06,716 --> 00:24:09,276
but it's students like you that
want to ruin it for everybody else.
321
00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:11,258
You want to blame Marilyn Manson
322
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:16,425
violent video games, Child's
Play 3, imaginary friends...
323
00:24:16,925 --> 00:24:21,091
How dare you judge our
sweet little dumpling like that?
324
00:24:21,383 --> 00:24:24,591
I mean, just look at her,
325
00:24:24,841 --> 00:24:26,550
she wouldn't harm a fly.
326
00:24:26,675 --> 00:24:28,258
Now Miss Sullivan, I expect Beth to
327
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:33,258
make a formal apology to the entire
school for her unorthodox outbursts.
328
00:24:33,508 --> 00:24:35,591
She's just a child.
329
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:39,841
Has she not apologised enough? See!
330
00:24:41,050 --> 00:24:44,008
If there's one more incident
involving your daughter, Mr Conner.
331
00:24:44,300 --> 00:24:47,258
I'm afraid the school
will have to suspend her.
332
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:50,133
I can see we're not
going to see eye to eye...
333
00:24:50,175 --> 00:24:53,508
Or mouth to ear!
Hey, that's not funny!
334
00:24:53,883 --> 00:24:56,341
Nope!
335
00:25:22,300 --> 00:25:23,966
Please come in.
336
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:26,966
Miss Campbell?
337
00:25:27,300 --> 00:25:28,300
Yes!
338
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,216
Clyde Toulon, head of human resources.
339
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:36,050
Sorry for the intrusion,
but I just saw you in here,
340
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:39,091
all alone, and...
341
00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:47,925
And well, it's getting rather late.
342
00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:51,675
Yes, sorry. I was just
finishing up some work.
343
00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:54,633
It's been all go here today.
344
00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:57,175
I'll see myself out.
345
00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:00,841
How disappointing.
346
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:04,800
Well you see, I got
you an induction day gift.
347
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:08,050
A little surprise, shall we say...
348
00:26:08,425 --> 00:26:13,258
That's very sweet of you. But I
really need to finish my work, Clyde.
349
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:15,425
Perhaps some other time.
350
00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:18,258
It will be worth your while...
351
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:20,841
A surprise?
352
00:26:37,300 --> 00:26:41,133
Ethan. I'm Beth's father, Mark Conner.
353
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,258
It's a pleasure to finally meet you.
354
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:45,258
Pleasure is all mine, Mr Conner.
355
00:26:45,300 --> 00:26:47,258
Sorry about the finger.
356
00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:51,258
Still. I hope it won't prevent you from scoring
for the Henenlotter Hamsters this season?
357
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:56,258
No need for apologies Mr Connor. I can still
fit two in the pink and one in the stink, so…
358
00:26:56,300 --> 00:26:59,258
Ethan Rembrandt will always
score if you know what I'm saying?
359
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,258
The youth of
today are quite something.
360
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:05,258
Please, do take a seat.
361
00:27:05,300 --> 00:27:07,758
Beth will be down momentarily.
362
00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:14,258
I have to say I'm truly humbled by
your hospitality Mr and Mrs Conner.
363
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,258
It's Miss Sullivan, actually...
364
00:27:16,300 --> 00:27:19,258
Mr Conner and I are in a civil partnership.
365
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:23,216
Well, actually, I guess you
could say it was Beth that
366
00:27:23,300 --> 00:27:25,175
brought us together.
367
00:27:33,008 --> 00:27:36,091
Well my appetite just
flew over the cuckoo's nest.
368
00:27:36,341 --> 00:27:38,008
Mother of fuck!
369
00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:40,841
Good evening to you too, Ethan.
370
00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:48,966
Before I forget.
371
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:50,966
This is for you.
372
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,258
I don't drink on a school night.
373
00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:55,883
Beth, dear, we're British.
374
00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,633
We drink every night.
375
00:27:57,841 --> 00:28:00,841
Well, before we say grace, Ethan.
376
00:28:01,175 --> 00:28:06,175
I'd like to say what a beautiful addition
you're going to make to our family.
377
00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,966
I can just tell.
378
00:28:08,091 --> 00:28:10,258
A toast, to Beth Conner
379
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:13,550
another notch on Ethan Rembrandt's bedpost.
380
00:28:14,883 --> 00:28:16,925
A-fucking-men.
381
00:28:32,300 --> 00:28:34,341
Testify, Mr Rembrandt.
382
00:28:36,300 --> 00:28:37,800
Okie dokie!
383
00:28:38,300 --> 00:28:42,008
Let me know when I can
remove this blindfold, okay?
384
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:44,425
Okay... Ready.
385
00:28:47,966 --> 00:28:49,341
Surprise!
386
00:28:50,091 --> 00:28:55,091
I'm sorry. I don't remember
signing up to this after school special.
387
00:28:56,216 --> 00:28:57,800
Well..
388
00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:00,883
Don't worry.
389
00:29:01,300 --> 00:29:05,966
I'll make sure you're very
well... financially compensated.
390
00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:10,883
Now, kneel before Toulon.
391
00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:13,883
Well, when you put it like that.
392
00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:19,550
I wouldn't want to be a problem, Mr Toulon.
393
00:29:33,300 --> 00:29:34,425
Mommy!
394
00:29:46,925 --> 00:29:49,883
Now I want you to get on your knees
395
00:29:50,008 --> 00:29:51,383
and pray.
396
00:30:03,258 --> 00:30:07,091
That's right. Pray to your
Weinstein God to save you.
397
00:30:08,341 --> 00:30:12,341
Harvey, Bob, little baby Jesus, help me...
398
00:30:12,633 --> 00:30:14,300
I'm sorry, Clyde.
399
00:30:14,425 --> 00:30:18,133
But your time in this
Dimension, has Miramaxed out!
400
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:39,966
Wakey! Wakey!
401
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:44,341
Beth?
402
00:30:45,300 --> 00:30:48,258
What are you doing? How did I get up here?
403
00:30:48,591 --> 00:30:51,716
Fuck yes!
404
00:30:52,425 --> 00:30:54,550
Thank you baby Jesus.
405
00:30:55,341 --> 00:30:58,591
I had no idea you
were into this kinky shit.
406
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:01,966
Is that right?
407
00:31:02,300 --> 00:31:08,008
Beth, it would be an honour,
nay, a privilege, to be your victim.
408
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:11,258
Do you feed that line to all your victims?
409
00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:13,258
I mean, potential suitors?
410
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:16,258
You're the only one I
have eyes for, Beth Conner.
411
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:20,425
Speaking of eyes, I noticed this evening.
You have the same eyes as Miss Sullivan
412
00:31:20,550 --> 00:31:23,258
you two could easily pass
as mother and daughter.
413
00:31:23,300 --> 00:31:25,425
She is not, my fucking...
414
00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:26,716
MOTHER!
415
00:31:58,300 --> 00:31:59,341
Fuck!
416
00:32:00,300 --> 00:32:03,258
Beth, honey, everything alright in there?
417
00:32:03,300 --> 00:32:06,258
Yeah, yeah, it's fine!
We're just finishing up.
418
00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:08,258
I hope you're not raping him?
419
00:32:08,300 --> 00:32:09,966
Rape
420
00:32:10,300 --> 00:32:15,258
Beth if you don't open this door right
now, I'm going to call the fucking police!
421
00:32:15,300 --> 00:32:17,341
Okay! Okay! I'm coming...
422
00:32:18,300 --> 00:32:20,216
Sport, what happened?
423
00:32:22,300 --> 00:32:23,966
Is Ethan alright?
424
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:27,716
Ethan is just A-OK!
425
00:32:28,008 --> 00:32:30,050
So, how do you explain...
426
00:32:30,758 --> 00:32:34,091
Err... I was on my period?
427
00:32:35,300 --> 00:32:38,591
Okay...
428
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,050
Well, I wasn't expecting that.
429
00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:44,258
No, I could smell the
metallically coppery smell.
430
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:47,258
Frankie! Frankie! Honey, that's enough!
431
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:49,966
Okay! Well, I'm gonna go wash up.
432
00:32:50,091 --> 00:32:51,758
Love you, Daddy!
433
00:32:55,300 --> 00:32:58,925
♪ “Goth Girls Are Easy”
by Lesbian Bed Death ♪
434
00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:01,425
Bingo!
435
00:33:11,675 --> 00:33:14,300
♪ Goth girls are easy ♪
436
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:20,133
♪ Dark lips, big tits..
Goth girls are easy ♪
437
00:33:20,550 --> 00:33:25,966
♪ Goth boots, cat suit..
Goth girls are easy ♪
438
00:33:26,425 --> 00:33:31,800
♪ Black hair, death
stare.. Goth girls are easy ♪
439
00:33:40,925 --> 00:33:46,300
♪ Black hair, death
stare.. Goth girls are easy ♪
440
00:33:46,675 --> 00:33:49,716
♪ Dark lips, big tits.. ♪
441
00:33:51,300 --> 00:33:56,258
I believe that I speak for my fellow
female students here at Henenlotter High.
442
00:33:56,300 --> 00:34:01,175
When I say that, Ethan Rembrandt
was taken from us far, far too soon.
443
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:05,800
We may have woke up in a ditch or passed out outside
the door of our estranged parents' household...
444
00:34:05,966 --> 00:34:11,883
but the fact still remains Ethan Rembrandt
had a hell of a lot of love left to give.
445
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:15,258
He did the deed and
indeed he spread his seed
446
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:19,258
before taking part in his favourite
pastime of ding dong ditch. In fact-
447
00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,258
Am I hearing this bullshit correctly?
448
00:34:21,300 --> 00:34:24,258
Beth Conner, will you
please show some respect!?
449
00:34:24,300 --> 00:34:29,466
You of all people should understand the pain and
sorrow your fellow sisters are feeling right now…
450
00:34:29,550 --> 00:34:32,258
Besides, you were
scheduled to be his next victim!
451
00:34:33,841 --> 00:34:36,258
I'm sorry, but what I meant to say was...
452
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:39,258
You were due to be Ethan
Rembrandt's next conquest!
453
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:41,758
In fact, I am glad he is dead!
454
00:34:41,966 --> 00:34:45,258
He's probably down there in hell
right now, roasting marshmallows whilst
455
00:34:45,300 --> 00:34:48,258
watching horror movies produced
by those fucking Weinstein brothers!
456
00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:50,175
That's enough, Beth!
457
00:34:50,300 --> 00:34:54,258
I won't hear you say another sacrilegious
word about the Weinstein brothers.
458
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,216
Yes, Miss Montgomery...
459
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:03,258
Well, who doesn't love
the Scream franchise?
460
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:05,050
Am I right, girls?
461
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:06,966
I love Scream 3...
462
00:35:08,300 --> 00:35:10,550
Consider yourself cancelled.
463
00:35:17,300 --> 00:35:21,966
Well, if it isn't the carpet munching
vegan goth-cannibal herself.
464
00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:25,758
Bit off more than we can chew?
465
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:27,800
Come again?
466
00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:29,966
You heard me.
467
00:35:30,300 --> 00:35:34,675
I'm sorry Clarissa, I couldn't “ear” you...
468
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:38,258
Are we auditioning for
the Henenlotter Hamsters
469
00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:40,841
cheerleading contest, Beth?
470
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:47,008
Beth. We know your dark little secret.
471
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:50,258
Ethan's parents phoned
the school to say that
472
00:35:50,300 --> 00:35:52,800
he was dropped off last night...
473
00:35:53,050 --> 00:35:54,175
Eaten.
474
00:35:54,758 --> 00:35:58,258
Not to mention, someone ripped
off Clyde Toulon's fucking head!
475
00:35:58,300 --> 00:36:01,258
What are the chances of that, hey!?
476
00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:05,258
After attending the Conner household,
Ethan ends up as the main course...
477
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:09,133
And then Beth fancied
herself a little head...
478
00:36:10,591 --> 00:36:13,258
You better come clean, Beth.
479
00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:16,175
Before we tell Deetz and Mr Sawyer.
480
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:22,216
And that would be a fate
far worse than death...
481
00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:29,008
Death? You say that like
it's a bad thing, Melissa.
482
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:43,550
Too bad your Mommy's not alive...
483
00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:47,883
To see what a freak her
cunting daughter has turned into
484
00:36:48,008 --> 00:36:50,216
on her 18th birthday.
485
00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:16,258
Did anyone ever tell you:
486
00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:18,258
You look kinda sexy when you bleed?
487
00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:22,258
That's kind of inappropriate
for a teacher to say to a student.
488
00:37:33,300 --> 00:37:37,258
Can we order another round of
pancakes for Miss Gluttony over here?
489
00:37:37,300 --> 00:37:40,258
And just another refill of your
damn fine Henenlotter coffee.
490
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:42,258
We close in five minutes.
491
00:37:42,300 --> 00:37:46,633
Don't worry, with the appetite
she has she'll be done in two.
492
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:50,550
I'm sorry, you were saying?
493
00:37:52,425 --> 00:37:55,716
Well, I may have eaten Ethan...
494
00:37:58,300 --> 00:38:01,258
What do you mean you
“may have eaten Ethan?”
495
00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:05,966
Something came over
me, this like.. primal urge.
496
00:38:06,716 --> 00:38:08,091
Prove it.
497
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:09,758
Excuse me?
498
00:38:09,883 --> 00:38:12,258
Prove it to me right here, right now.
499
00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:15,758
What's the matter? Am I
not good enough to eat?
500
00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:21,258
You have no fucking idea.
501
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:26,800
You've eaten every pancake in the diner.
502
00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:29,883
I recognise a cry for help when I see one.
503
00:38:30,300 --> 00:38:32,258
Do you wanna know my secret?
504
00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:33,341
Sure.
505
00:38:34,300 --> 00:38:35,966
What secret!?
506
00:38:40,300 --> 00:38:44,258
Everybody seems to be
falling for you lately, Beth!?
507
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:45,675
Bye! Bye!
508
00:38:46,300 --> 00:38:47,800
What the fuck!?
509
00:38:48,091 --> 00:38:51,175
Beth? Beth! Do you wanna
know my secret or not?
510
00:38:51,633 --> 00:38:52,675
Sure?
511
00:38:54,050 --> 00:38:57,675
I suffer from something
known as erotophonophilia...
512
00:38:58,300 --> 00:38:59,966
Erono-nono-who?
513
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:02,091
The lust for death!
514
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:06,258
You remember the human resources
representative at Henenlotter High right?
515
00:39:06,300 --> 00:39:08,716
Clyde Toulon, of course, why?
516
00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:17,258
You know how we both
love animals right, Beth?
517
00:39:17,300 --> 00:39:18,258
Adore them.
518
00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:23,258
Well, you know how humans send animals off to the
slaughter without a conscience in the world?
519
00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:26,258
Well that's what I did to Clyde right here.
520
00:39:26,716 --> 00:39:28,258
You know, Miss Campbell, I -
521
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:33,300
I've waited a long time to find
someone who truly understands me, Beth.
522
00:39:33,675 --> 00:39:37,258
Together we could rid the world of
this toxic self-appointed patriarchy
523
00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:41,800
that serves nothing to
womankind but pain and grief.
524
00:39:42,300 --> 00:39:45,425
But we're only going
to kill bad people, right?
525
00:39:47,300 --> 00:39:48,966
Pinkie promise.
526
00:39:51,300 --> 00:39:55,800
Consider this my peace
offering, and understanding.
527
00:39:57,550 --> 00:39:58,758
Eat up!
528
00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:10,675
Whoops!
529
00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:36,341
Miss Campbell, I think this is the
beginning of a beautiful relationship.
530
00:40:38,300 --> 00:40:42,591
♪ “Dancer in the Dark”
by Dylan Mars Greenberg ♪
531
00:42:06,300 --> 00:42:09,091
Wait, you sure we won't get caught?
532
00:42:09,425 --> 00:42:11,925
Would I lie to you, Beth?
533
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:17,258
Trust me Tusk, the All You Can
Eat Massacre will be a grand success.
534
00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:22,175
Thus, guaranteeing yours truly,
another year as Headmaster.
535
00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:24,258
Am I right? I'm right!
536
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:27,258
Just, hold your horses and
let's wait for the ratings, okay?
537
00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:32,258
Who is that woman over there
making out with that student?
538
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:37,216
That's Miss Campbell, another
American member of the faculty...
539
00:42:39,966 --> 00:42:41,966
Doh! BETH!
540
00:42:47,008 --> 00:42:48,800
Mark my words Beth.
541
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:52,258
No longer will you be groomed
here by a teacher at Henenlotter High.
542
00:42:52,300 --> 00:42:55,050
Again, I wasn't groomed.
543
00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:58,258
Nonsense, that's the
Stockholm Syndrome talking.
544
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:02,883
Stockholm? I remember Stockholm...
545
00:43:03,300 --> 00:43:06,258
I once spent a weekend
skiing in Stockholm...
546
00:43:06,300 --> 00:43:07,800
with Clyde.
547
00:43:08,300 --> 00:43:11,258
Miss Campbell was hired under your watch.
548
00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:14,258
Do you have anything
to say about this Sawyer?
549
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,258
I know what it's like to lose someone...
550
00:43:16,300 --> 00:43:17,800
Come again?
551
00:43:18,300 --> 00:43:20,216
That's what she said.
552
00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:24,258
Now look, Beth. You got to share
some of the responsibility here.
553
00:43:24,300 --> 00:43:27,050
Sawyer, she was sexually molested.
554
00:43:27,300 --> 00:43:33,008
Bullshit! I'm just calling it as I see it, fingers,
ears, decapitated heads of football players.
555
00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:35,425
My number one boy, Clyde!
556
00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:41,133
Get your shit together.
557
00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:49,341
We're in Henenlotter, the United
Kingdom, the age of consent is sixteen.
558
00:43:49,841 --> 00:43:53,258
And after all, I'm seventeen,
going on eighteen...
559
00:43:53,300 --> 00:43:55,258
Alright, Sound of Music!
560
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:59,633
The Sound of Music is my all
time favourite film about Nazis!
561
00:44:04,591 --> 00:44:06,341
SIEG HEIL!
562
00:44:06,841 --> 00:44:08,216
What the fuck, Nancy?
563
00:44:08,300 --> 00:44:09,883
What the fuck, Nancy!?
564
00:44:10,008 --> 00:44:15,258
Beth, there's no reason to speak to the
rag sheets about this isolated incident.
565
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:19,258
My significant other Nancy
has taken care of everything.
566
00:44:19,300 --> 00:44:21,091
Taken care of what?
567
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:24,216
Miss Campbell has been sent on a plane
568
00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:27,883
back to the greatest
country on God's flat earth.
569
00:44:30,133 --> 00:44:31,175
What?
570
00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:35,508
Teachers shouldn't be gallivanting with
students, it just isn't cricket, darling.
571
00:44:35,591 --> 00:44:39,258
But it's okay for the school
secretary to fuck underaged students?
572
00:44:39,300 --> 00:44:40,466
Excuse me?
573
00:44:40,675 --> 00:44:44,258
Ethan Rembrandt was 17 years old, and
based on Henenlotter High's jurisdiction,
574
00:44:44,300 --> 00:44:49,925
that brands you Miss Montgomery, a paedophile,
a kiddie fiddler, a child fucker!
575
00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:52,841
A Serbian hanky-panky!
576
00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:56,258
Pay no attention to
this edge lord centennial.
577
00:44:56,300 --> 00:44:58,258
She's just trying to push the envelope.
578
00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:00,258
Speaking of envelopes...
579
00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:05,800
Mr Everbone, Miss Campbell asked me
to deliver this envelope directly to you.
580
00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:10,258
And now you've taken,
the only thing I truly love.
581
00:45:10,300 --> 00:45:14,258
I hereby announce my official entry
into the All You Can Eat Massacre contest.
582
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,966
And mark my words, I'm
going to win that handgun,
583
00:45:17,050 --> 00:45:21,258
blow my fucking brains out, and escape
this shitty horror movie once and for all.
584
00:45:21,300 --> 00:45:24,258
No longer will I have to put up
with you loser characters again!
585
00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:27,091
Romantic comedy genre, here I come!
586
00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:32,175
Atta girl! That's the kinda
passion I'm talking about!
587
00:45:32,300 --> 00:45:39,008
Pro-choice suicide! But anybody can shoot
up a school, there's no talent in that!
588
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:46,425
You want to take your own life?
Or partake in a school massacre?
589
00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:49,425
But you have to earn it.
590
00:45:50,300 --> 00:45:51,591
Earn it.
591
00:45:59,300 --> 00:46:00,966
Binge and purge.
592
00:46:01,300 --> 00:46:03,300
BINGE AND PURGE, BABY!
593
00:46:03,466 --> 00:46:04,591
Yeah!!
594
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:08,758
That girls got talent. Pizzazz!
595
00:46:10,008 --> 00:46:11,716
I see big things coming!
596
00:46:11,841 --> 00:46:14,216
It's a scream, baby!
597
00:46:14,466 --> 00:46:16,133
Woooh!
598
00:46:16,508 --> 00:46:20,675
Its a screaaaammmmmm.
599
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:27,258
I've been looking for a girl
just like you all my life, Beth Conner...
600
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:32,550
Someone that truly
loves and accepts me for the person I am...
601
00:46:33,300 --> 00:46:37,966
I would be
completely lost without you, my darling.
602
00:46:38,300 --> 00:46:43,341
Promise that you'll
never leave me, Beth? Pinkie promise?
603
00:46:48,300 --> 00:46:51,591
You should have seen the
look on that goth girl's face,
604
00:46:51,716 --> 00:46:55,550
when I told her I sent back
Miss Campbell on a plane.
605
00:46:56,300 --> 00:46:58,175
On 9/11 nonetheless.
606
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:01,050
Pew! Pew! Pew! Kaboom!
607
00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:03,508
I know! I know
608
00:47:04,425 --> 00:47:06,050
the irony.
609
00:47:07,300 --> 00:47:11,133
And who says jet fuel
can't melt poisoned hearts?
610
00:47:27,300 --> 00:47:28,841
Cottonmouth.
611
00:47:30,300 --> 00:47:33,800
Rather have a cottonmouth
than a cotton eye joe.
612
00:47:34,300 --> 00:47:37,925
Campbell? What the
howdy-doody are you doing here?
613
00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:42,258
I booked you first class
tickets on that hijacked flight.
614
00:47:42,300 --> 00:47:45,425
9/11 is a national holiday for our people.
615
00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:51,550
Do you find this
titillating, Miss Campbell?
616
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:55,258
We all know nudity in
the horror genre is only
617
00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:58,258
there to appeal to the
lowest common denominator.
618
00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:01,258
You donut bashers are
all the same, and I'm just-
619
00:48:01,300 --> 00:48:06,216
If this was an A24 film, it would be
classed as brave and progressive.
620
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,258
Now, open up your virgin mouth
like a Criterion Collection cuck boy.
621
00:48:09,300 --> 00:48:11,425
And say Ahhhhhhh.
622
00:48:11,591 --> 00:48:12,800
Ahhhhh.
623
00:48:23,716 --> 00:48:27,216
Jiminy cricket! We gotta
get you to a hospital, lickity-split!
624
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:35,633
Nancy has left the building.
625
00:48:56,966 --> 00:49:01,258
So ladies, Miss Goth Cheeks thinks she's
going to win the All You Can Eat Massacre.
626
00:49:01,300 --> 00:49:05,175
But, once the food turns out
to be non-vegan, she'll forfeit.
627
00:49:05,216 --> 00:49:09,216
Then I'll win the All You Can Eat Massacre, and
be awarded a shiny gun by The Midnight Rose.
628
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:14,258
And send all the freaks and geeks at Henenlotter
High to my own personal concentration camp.
629
00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:16,966
Any questions?
630
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:18,966
Clarissa.
631
00:49:19,300 --> 00:49:21,175
What is it, Melissa?
632
00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:24,258
Don't you think it's about time that
we won something for a change?
633
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:28,841
Yeah, Clarissa. Why do you always
want to have your cake and eat it too?
634
00:49:33,341 --> 00:49:38,300
I'm going to ruin Beth Connor's life and put
an end to her ridiculous American Pie fetish.
635
00:49:38,341 --> 00:49:41,301
Underrated franchise, I particularly
love those straight to video sequels.
636
00:49:42,050 --> 00:49:47,008
I think she means the pie, as in
the poontang pie, as in the pussy.
637
00:49:47,175 --> 00:49:48,216
Cunt.
638
00:49:48,300 --> 00:49:50,050
Ok thank you Sabrina.
639
00:49:50,091 --> 00:49:51,841
That good pie.
640
00:49:52,300 --> 00:49:53,966
Shut up, Sabrina.
641
00:49:54,300 --> 00:49:55,966
It's Mellisa.
642
00:49:56,300 --> 00:49:57,883
I'm Sabrina.
643
00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:04,425
And who the fuck is this?
644
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:09,258
Well sir, that's The Midnight Rose,
greatest wrestling manager of all time!
645
00:50:09,300 --> 00:50:12,258
And the host to the All
You Can Eat Massacre.
646
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,966
Of course it is.
647
00:50:15,300 --> 00:50:19,050
Mr Braxton, can you please send in Mr Law?
648
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:27,383
Sawyer, meet Byron Law,
head of the British school board.
649
00:50:28,300 --> 00:50:31,508
This won't take long, Tusk. Please proceed.
650
00:50:32,300 --> 00:50:34,258
What's happening here?
651
00:50:34,300 --> 00:50:38,966
Well, we've heard all about your
colourful history with Reams for Less.
652
00:50:39,008 --> 00:50:44,008
And your current tenure
with Henenlotter High is...
653
00:50:44,341 --> 00:50:47,758
for lack of a better term, problematic.
654
00:50:48,133 --> 00:50:51,050
Problematic? What is this woke shit!?
655
00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:53,758
Do you know what lies in here?
656
00:50:58,300 --> 00:51:01,258
We didn't know you were an accomplice to...
657
00:51:01,300 --> 00:51:03,341
child grooming, Sawyer?
658
00:51:19,383 --> 00:51:24,925
He he he.. This, this can't
be right. There must be a mistake.
659
00:51:25,300 --> 00:51:29,258
The only mistake I see in this
room is the one sat in front of me.
660
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:30,841
What?
661
00:51:30,966 --> 00:51:33,091
You're fired. Get the fuck out!
662
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:35,258
Wait a second. You're firing me, Tusk!?
663
00:51:35,300 --> 00:51:37,175
That's Mr Everbone!
664
00:51:37,300 --> 00:51:40,258
And where should I begin? Student
teacher relationships running rampant.
665
00:51:40,300 --> 00:51:44,258
Your partner, the school secretary,
sleeping with an underaged student.
666
00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:51,466
We are going to have a public
relations nightmare, all because of you!
667
00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:56,341
Listen, Tusk. Mr Everbone.
668
00:51:59,591 --> 00:52:02,175
You're canceling me!
669
00:52:02,300 --> 00:52:04,258
You're not firing me, you're canceling me!
670
00:52:04,300 --> 00:52:07,258
Would be better if you
killed me, then cancel me!
671
00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:10,050
I mean, I had no idea, I had
no idea what was going on!
672
00:52:10,133 --> 00:52:12,258
I swear on the lives of
these kids, I had no idea!
673
00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:16,258
What happened to the man
who ruled with an iron... golf club?
674
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:18,800
You've become nothing more
than a caricature of yourself.
675
00:52:18,883 --> 00:52:21,841
Relying on your cute little catch
phrases to pop an audience.
676
00:52:22,300 --> 00:52:25,675
What happened to the man who was Reams
for Less regional manager of the year,
677
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,966
five years in a row?
678
00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:31,258
Or did the Sawyer we all know and love die?
679
00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:35,258
And what sits before me is
a figment of my imagination.
680
00:52:35,508 --> 00:52:40,008
Mr Sawyer, on behalf of Henenlotter High...
681
00:52:41,300 --> 00:52:43,425
We wish you all the best,
682
00:52:44,300 --> 00:52:46,425
in your future endeavours.
683
00:53:06,758 --> 00:53:08,425
And Sawyer.
684
00:53:10,300 --> 00:53:12,341
Whoopsie fucking daisy!
685
00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:19,966
No you didn't!
686
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:39,050
♪ “Devil” by Delilah Bon ♪
687
00:53:44,300 --> 00:53:46,508
Good morning, goth cheeks!
688
00:53:50,300 --> 00:53:53,133
Poor pancake princess.
689
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:56,008
I always knew she would
make a good cheerleader
690
00:53:56,091 --> 00:53:58,383
for the Henenlotter Hamsters football team.
691
00:54:00,050 --> 00:54:01,341
Get her!
692
00:54:04,300 --> 00:54:06,258
Hold still, Beth Conner.
693
00:54:06,300 --> 00:54:09,258
You flinch again and I
won't hesitate to cut you.
694
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:12,800
You should thank Clarissa
for doing your makeup.
695
00:54:13,300 --> 00:54:15,175
It's so you.
696
00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:21,800
Let me go!
697
00:54:22,300 --> 00:54:23,883
Beth Conner,
698
00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:25,966
we meet again.
699
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:32,258
I didn't mean to eat him.
700
00:54:32,300 --> 00:54:35,258
So you admit it? You ate Ethan Rembrandt?
701
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:37,716
We told you Miss Montgomery.
702
00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:43,091
Poor Mr Sawyer.
703
00:54:43,591 --> 00:54:46,175
Look who's come to save the day.
704
00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:51,175
You know, the school board frowns upon members
of staff sleeping with students, Miss Campbell
705
00:54:51,300 --> 00:54:52,508
#me too.
706
00:54:53,300 --> 00:54:54,758
Excuse me?
707
00:54:54,883 --> 00:54:57,841
I wonder what Mr Sawyer
would have to say about a very
708
00:54:58,008 --> 00:55:01,466
senior member of staff
sleeping with a student?
709
00:55:02,883 --> 00:55:04,841
Prepare to resign Miss Campbell.
710
00:55:04,925 --> 00:55:06,216
I agree.
711
00:55:06,300 --> 00:55:07,341
BANG!
712
00:55:24,300 --> 00:55:26,258
Miss Campbell, what are you doing here?
713
00:55:26,300 --> 00:55:28,258
Have you forgotten what day it is, Beth?
714
00:55:28,883 --> 00:55:33,258
I had this awful dream that Clarissa,
Melissa and Sabrina kidnapped me.
715
00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:35,216
And you killed Deetz.
716
00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:37,966
Are you sure it was just a dream?
717
00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:44,091
Hey! I've got a surprise for you!
718
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:46,050
For your birthday.
719
00:55:46,300 --> 00:55:48,175
Am I still dreaming?
720
00:55:52,300 --> 00:55:54,175
You wish.
721
00:55:58,300 --> 00:56:00,258
Welcome home, Miss Campbell.
722
00:56:00,300 --> 00:56:03,258
We weren't expecting you back so early.
723
00:56:03,300 --> 00:56:07,258
Wait, how do you know Miss
Campbell? And why is the house so dark?
724
00:56:07,300 --> 00:56:11,258
Well, sport. We wouldn't want to
spoil anything for you would we?
725
00:56:11,300 --> 00:56:14,425
That's right, Mark. Shall I do the honours?
726
00:56:15,300 --> 00:56:17,258
Or should Miss Campbell?
727
00:56:17,300 --> 00:56:19,258
Wait, how do you three know each other?
728
00:56:23,508 --> 00:56:26,425
It's just like Ethan...
729
00:56:27,300 --> 00:56:29,425
it's only a little prick.
730
00:56:42,300 --> 00:56:44,758
What did they say? They said..
731
00:56:45,300 --> 00:56:49,550
Mr Sawyer, forget Reams for Less.
732
00:56:50,300 --> 00:56:54,466
You're the one to bring
prestige back to Henenlotter High.
733
00:56:57,300 --> 00:57:02,008
These students, they they will
respect you, they will love you.
734
00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:05,091
And I'll love them.
735
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,675
What happened?
736
00:57:12,216 --> 00:57:13,883
What happened?
737
00:57:16,300 --> 00:57:21,966
I fed them discipline,
respect, pride in education.
738
00:57:23,300 --> 00:57:26,175
And they bit the hand that fed them.
739
00:57:27,300 --> 00:57:30,258
They killed my number one boy, Clyde...
740
00:57:33,300 --> 00:57:36,550
And you, deserted me, Deetz.
741
00:57:39,300 --> 00:57:42,758
Was I not enough? Was I not enough?
742
00:57:44,300 --> 00:57:46,508
Were we missing something?
743
00:57:48,300 --> 00:57:51,633
I love... I loved you, Deetz...
744
00:57:55,300 --> 00:57:58,091
And you fucked a child. You fu...
745
00:57:58,300 --> 00:58:01,300
I can't forgive that, I can't...
746
00:58:03,550 --> 00:58:04,841
I can't.
747
00:58:08,300 --> 00:58:10,716
And these motherfucking kids...
748
00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:14,091
spitting in my face.
749
00:58:15,716 --> 00:58:18,966
Spitting in Mr Motherfucking Sawyer's face!
750
00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:34,216
Time to put the dogs in the pool area.
751
00:59:40,758 --> 00:59:47,966
A toast to our main course this evening.
752
00:59:48,300 --> 00:59:52,466
My daughter, Beth Conner.
753
00:59:52,675 --> 00:59:54,716
Crowd: Beth Conner.
754
00:59:58,300 --> 01:00:00,216
Can we eat her now, Mark? Can we?
755
01:00:01,091 --> 01:00:02,466
In due time...
756
01:00:03,633 --> 01:00:06,216
Miss Campbell, would you do the honours?
757
01:00:07,300 --> 01:00:09,883
It would be my absolute
pleasure, Mr Conner.
758
01:00:11,300 --> 01:00:15,466
The Conner clan has been
waiting for this moment for
759
01:00:16,050 --> 01:00:17,300
18 years.
760
01:00:18,175 --> 01:00:19,800
The last time we were all here...
761
01:00:21,425 --> 01:00:22,425
was for your mother.
762
01:00:23,633 --> 01:00:26,425
Your mother tasted so good Beth.
763
01:00:27,050 --> 01:00:30,716
Thankfully you both share
the same blood type, delicious.
764
01:00:31,633 --> 01:00:35,758
And we've been waiting a good 12
years to all be reunited once more...
765
01:00:36,091 --> 01:00:37,091
as a family.
766
01:00:39,050 --> 01:00:42,591
It was an absolute honour Mr
Conner to put an end to your wife.
767
01:00:43,425 --> 01:00:46,550
Thanks for inviting me back to
Henenlotter to tie up loose ends.
768
01:00:47,175 --> 01:00:52,591
Not to mention helping fatten your
daughter up on Henenlotter prime meat.
769
01:00:53,383 --> 01:00:55,675
You could say this is the...
770
01:00:55,883 --> 01:00:58,300
♪ CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEEE! ♪
771
01:01:00,425 --> 01:01:01,425
Meow!
772
01:01:02,008 --> 01:01:04,758
Think nothing of it, Miss Campbell.
773
01:01:08,466 --> 01:01:09,466
In fact...
774
01:01:10,300 --> 01:01:11,591
we have a special guest,
775
01:01:12,466 --> 01:01:13,550
don't we Frankie!?
776
01:01:21,216 --> 01:01:24,508
Do you believe in miracles, Beth?
777
01:01:33,716 --> 01:01:35,550
There we go,
778
01:01:36,883 --> 01:01:38,591
there we go, Momma.
779
01:01:41,300 --> 01:01:44,716
Don't you just love a family reunion?
780
01:01:46,300 --> 01:01:49,341
This feels just like old times...
781
01:01:57,716 --> 01:01:59,383
Ahhhhhh!
782
01:02:01,300 --> 01:02:04,758
Where do you think you're
going dressed like that, dear?
783
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,067
To the All You Can Eat Massacre.
784
01:02:06,091 --> 01:02:08,050
Don't you like my dress, Frankie?
785
01:02:08,300 --> 01:02:12,341
Your dress? Well, it's
cute dumpling, but...
786
01:02:12,508 --> 01:02:15,425
I much prefer your plump flesh.
787
01:02:20,300 --> 01:02:23,091
Beth! Beth! Beth! Beth! Beth!
788
01:02:23,591 --> 01:02:27,716
Sport! This is a sacred family ritual.
789
01:02:28,300 --> 01:02:31,216
Think of it as quality time.
790
01:02:31,883 --> 01:02:35,133
Try not to take any of this personally.
791
01:02:37,300 --> 01:02:41,883
Now, now. That's not very ladylike is it?
792
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:44,550
What would your mother say?
793
01:02:49,633 --> 01:02:52,050
You're right, Dad.
794
01:02:52,216 --> 01:02:54,175
Make room for daddy.
795
01:02:54,300 --> 01:02:58,841
There, there, easy does it.
796
01:02:59,300 --> 01:03:02,591
Arrrgh!
797
01:03:03,758 --> 01:03:07,466
I think she'd be fucking
proud of me! Daddy!
798
01:03:15,508 --> 01:03:20,466
You're too late, Beth. Henenlotter
High is about to have their eating contest.
799
01:03:20,508 --> 01:03:23,258
School massacres will no longer see colour.
800
01:03:23,300 --> 01:03:26,550
We are one big melting pot of death!
801
01:03:26,716 --> 01:03:28,675
Don't fight it, Beth.
802
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:32,050
You're the millennial product of
the American High School Trope.
803
01:03:32,300 --> 01:03:34,383
And what's more poetic and American than...
804
01:03:34,508 --> 01:03:37,675
♪ a high school massacre? ♪
805
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:40,716
Nostalgia is fucking cancer!
806
01:03:43,008 --> 01:03:44,050
BANG!
807
01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:04,133
Don't go far now. I'll be
returning for y'all soon!
808
01:04:12,300 --> 01:04:15,466
Nancy! Where have you been?
809
01:04:15,716 --> 01:04:22,883
The British school board has signed an exclusive
multi-year extension based on tonight's projected ratings.
810
01:04:23,883 --> 01:04:26,050
Sawyer has finally fucked off!
811
01:04:26,091 --> 01:04:32,050
And I, Tusk Everbone, control the intellectual
property rights to the All You Can Eat Massacre brand.
812
01:04:32,300 --> 01:04:34,550
And we, my little dumpling.
813
01:04:35,300 --> 01:04:38,882
Bask in all the glory,
illuminated by a hail of gunfire.
814
01:04:38,883 --> 01:04:42,091
Goddammit! Sandy Hook ain't got shit on us!
815
01:04:44,008 --> 01:04:45,341
I ain't Nancy.
816
01:04:46,300 --> 01:04:49,216
Tell me, do you have pride?
817
01:04:50,216 --> 01:04:52,008
Pride?
818
01:04:52,091 --> 01:04:55,050
I asked you a question, Tusk!
Do you have motherfucking pride...
819
01:04:56,133 --> 01:04:57,800
in education?
820
01:04:58,300 --> 01:04:59,507
Sawyer?
821
01:04:59,508 --> 01:05:01,716
That's Mr Sawyer.
822
01:05:03,925 --> 01:05:06,716
Please listen! You must listen!
823
01:05:07,383 --> 01:05:09,758
We can rebuild Henenlotter High together.
824
01:05:10,300 --> 01:05:13,508
Think of the students. Think of the future.
825
01:05:16,716 --> 01:05:18,383
That's right.
826
01:05:19,508 --> 01:05:24,675
Think of the dollars invested into
this institution and into this tragedy.
827
01:05:26,383 --> 01:05:29,966
Planning for the future,
when there is no future.
828
01:05:30,383 --> 01:05:34,341
Selling silver dollar fantasies
and pocketing the gold.
829
01:05:35,300 --> 01:05:38,966
Discarding the damage
and fist fucking the youth.
830
01:05:39,008 --> 01:05:42,341
That's what you do!
That's what you believe in.
831
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:45,799
Mr Sawyer, I...
832
01:05:52,383 --> 01:05:55,258
Whoopsie fucking daisy!
833
01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:59,258
And how's your 18th birthday going, Beth?
834
01:05:59,341 --> 01:06:02,050
Fucking terrible, thanks for asking!
835
01:06:02,091 --> 01:06:06,175
Not only have I discovered that my father and his
girlfriend help kill my mother many years ago,
836
01:06:06,300 --> 01:06:08,550
but that they're also homicidal cannibals.
837
01:06:08,591 --> 01:06:12,633
And, my one true love, 1:
Helped them kill my mom.
838
01:06:12,716 --> 01:06:17,758
Helped fatten me up to be served as
the main course of my own 18th birthday.
839
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:18,966
Fat chance!
840
01:06:19,508 --> 01:06:24,966
And 3: Wants my problematic high school to
implode into one big high school massacre.
841
01:06:25,300 --> 01:06:27,591
Well, not on my fucking watch!
842
01:06:27,675 --> 01:06:29,875
I am going to win the All You
Can Eat Massacre contest.
843
01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:32,550
Be awarded that gun.
Blow my fucking brains out!
844
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:36,466
And say goodbye to the cast and
crew of Eating Miss Campbell for good.
845
01:06:36,591 --> 01:06:39,799
So, yeah, happy 18th birthday to me, right?
846
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:43,966
And before I forget,
SCREW TROMA MOVIES!
847
01:06:45,008 --> 01:06:49,966
♪ “Ash” by Unquiet Dead ♪
848
01:07:53,383 --> 01:07:55,008
Sawyer, sweetie.
849
01:07:55,300 --> 01:07:57,091
Don't fucking move!
850
01:07:58,300 --> 01:08:00,091
I don't understand?
851
01:08:00,883 --> 01:08:02,966
After everything we've been through!
852
01:08:03,216 --> 01:08:07,550
You've been working long nights on
the All You Can Eat Massacre event.
853
01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:09,091
What do you expect a girl to do?
854
01:08:11,841 --> 01:08:12,925
Ethan?
855
01:08:13,091 --> 01:08:16,925
Ethan Rembrandt? Please, that's absurd.
856
01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:23,008
I saw the polaroid photos.
857
01:08:23,383 --> 01:08:26,841
He was a child. A fucking child.
858
01:08:31,216 --> 01:08:32,758
I love you.
859
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:36,633
I'll always love you...
860
01:08:47,508 --> 01:08:50,050
But I fucking hate paedophiles...
861
01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:04,966
♪ Yankee doodle went to
town, a-riding on a donkey ♪
862
01:09:05,591 --> 01:09:11,716
♪ Stuck a feather in his
hat and called it macaroni ♪
863
01:09:13,508 --> 01:09:15,175
Someone there?
864
01:09:30,383 --> 01:09:32,883
Still hungry, Beth?
865
01:09:33,383 --> 01:09:36,508
I have so many delicacies to offer.
866
01:09:37,091 --> 01:09:39,050
Why did you kill her?
867
01:09:39,216 --> 01:09:40,300
Who, honey?
868
01:09:40,383 --> 01:09:41,550
My mother!
869
01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:45,508
Why does anybody do anything, Beth?
870
01:09:46,300 --> 01:09:48,883
Your father had a taste
for human flesh after he
871
01:09:49,008 --> 01:09:50,966
had an affair with Frankie, of course.
872
01:09:51,383 --> 01:09:54,300
He sought me out and the rest is history.
873
01:09:54,508 --> 01:09:56,966
That is such a fucked up excuse!
874
01:09:57,133 --> 01:10:03,091
Now Beth, is it fair to judge other people's
kinks when yours are morally questionable?
875
01:10:03,300 --> 01:10:05,716
I mean, look at us.
876
01:10:07,383 --> 01:10:10,258
We're just the product of
what society made us into.
877
01:10:10,716 --> 01:10:15,716
Do you really think society,
much less the audience,
878
01:10:15,841 --> 01:10:19,382
cares about a confused suicidal goth girl,
879
01:10:19,383 --> 01:10:23,008
with an insatiable love for human flesh?
880
01:10:28,383 --> 01:10:30,091
You've got a point.
881
01:10:31,508 --> 01:10:34,050
Remember when I said that
you looked sexy when you bled?
882
01:10:43,383 --> 01:10:44,925
I meant it.
883
01:10:50,383 --> 01:10:52,175
You're horribly mistaken, Miss Campbell.
884
01:10:52,383 --> 01:10:54,466
It's not my time of the month!
885
01:11:10,508 --> 01:11:13,758
Give it up for Ochie and Friends!
886
01:11:28,300 --> 01:11:31,758
Look at what we've got
here, a late contestant.
887
01:11:32,383 --> 01:11:35,591
Put your hands together for Beth Conner!
888
01:11:45,508 --> 01:11:47,800
One for you.
889
01:11:48,383 --> 01:11:50,966
Yum, yum, yum.
890
01:11:58,383 --> 01:12:02,633
Snap into that, oooh yeah!
891
01:12:03,633 --> 01:12:05,966
Ooooh, spicy!
892
01:12:08,091 --> 01:12:09,883
What are we eating?
893
01:12:10,383 --> 01:12:12,091
Miss Campbell.
894
01:12:12,591 --> 01:12:20,591
Remember, the winner of the All You Can Eat Massacre
will win this beautiful handgun and choose...
895
01:12:21,300 --> 01:12:23,175
Whether to shoot up their school!
896
01:12:23,300 --> 01:12:25,175
Or shoot themselves!
897
01:12:26,383 --> 01:12:28,383
On your marks!
898
01:12:29,216 --> 01:12:30,591
Get set!
899
01:12:30,716 --> 01:12:32,133
Chow down!
900
01:13:12,133 --> 01:13:16,300
♪ “Far 2 Young 2 Die” by Tom Green ♪
901
01:14:00,300 --> 01:14:05,841
And the winner of the All
You Can Eat Massacre!
902
01:14:06,008 --> 01:14:08,883
Beth Conner!
903
01:14:09,300 --> 01:14:12,716
Ho! Ho! Ho!
904
01:14:19,300 --> 01:14:20,883
Beth, give me the gun.
905
01:14:21,300 --> 01:14:22,966
You know how this should end...
906
01:14:23,591 --> 01:14:27,966
mass genocide the likes
this town has never seen.
907
01:14:28,716 --> 01:14:30,550
On a curricular level.
908
01:14:31,508 --> 01:14:34,925
Clarissa. School shootings are so 1999.
909
01:14:35,258 --> 01:14:40,133
Beth's right. We need to learn from this. Grow
as characters. School shootings are wrong!
910
01:14:40,383 --> 01:14:44,050
Yeah, Clarissa. Nostalgia is AIDS.
911
01:14:44,383 --> 01:14:46,091
Shut up, Sabrina.
912
01:14:46,508 --> 01:14:48,800
It's Melissa!
913
01:14:49,300 --> 01:14:50,966
No one cares...
914
01:14:51,091 --> 01:14:53,883
♪ “Eaten Alive By Fucking
Crabs” by Bodach ♪
915
01:15:09,133 --> 01:15:12,300
Run and hide motherfuckers!
916
01:15:15,383 --> 01:15:18,008
Binge and purge, motherfuckers!
917
01:15:20,383 --> 01:15:22,383
Changed the rules on ya?
918
01:15:22,508 --> 01:15:24,882
You're not stealing this
moment away from me!
919
01:15:24,883 --> 01:15:26,883
I won this fucking contest!
920
01:15:31,508 --> 01:15:34,758
Whoopsie fucking daisy!
921
01:15:38,508 --> 01:15:40,591
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!
922
01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:45,425
You are a spectacle of teenage darkness!
923
01:15:46,883 --> 01:15:54,841
Only through tragedy, do we
truly understand each other.
924
01:15:55,800 --> 01:15:57,008
Don't you get that?
925
01:15:58,508 --> 01:16:01,341
That's what all this has been about!
926
01:16:10,300 --> 01:16:12,675
This is Mr Sawyer,
927
01:16:14,008 --> 01:16:15,091
wishing you...
928
01:16:15,758 --> 01:16:17,383
good health.
929
01:16:31,008 --> 01:16:33,300
Mr Sawyer...
930
01:16:34,508 --> 01:16:37,383
has left the building, motherfuckers!
931
01:16:46,508 --> 01:16:48,091
Beth Conner!
932
01:16:48,383 --> 01:16:51,800
The winner of the All You Can Eat Massacre!
933
01:16:52,508 --> 01:16:56,466
Now you have binged! You must purge!
934
01:16:56,591 --> 01:16:59,133
What shall your choice be?
935
01:17:02,008 --> 01:17:04,258
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
936
01:17:09,216 --> 01:17:10,633
Well...
937
01:17:10,716 --> 01:17:12,675
bottoms up for end credits!
938
01:17:41,383 --> 01:17:43,883
Greetings and salutations, Beth Conner.
939
01:17:44,300 --> 01:17:47,175
Do goth vegans masturbate
with cucumbers or-
940
01:17:47,383 --> 01:17:50,466
It's just a dream, it isn't real...
941
01:18:05,383 --> 01:18:08,383
I fucking hate low budget horror movies.
942
01:18:08,591 --> 01:18:11,591
♪ “Through” by Wheatus ♪
943
01:19:54,050 --> 01:19:58,966
♪ "Fellatio on the 4th of July"
by SomeWhere OutHere ♪
944
01:23:32,300 --> 01:23:33,883
Beth Conner!
945
01:23:34,133 --> 01:23:36,425
What the fuck
74809
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