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1
00:00:32,111 --> 00:00:33,373
Twenty-five years ago,
2
00:00:33,546 --> 00:00:37,482
my parents were the most
popular teenagers in America.
3
00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:39,049
It's true!
4
00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:41,551
My dad was a teen idol.
5
00:00:41,721 --> 00:00:47,023
Venus
Goddess of love that you are
6
00:00:47,193 --> 00:00:49,593
Girls threw themselves at him.
7
00:00:49,762 --> 00:00:54,699
Unfortunately, this was 1962,
and he had to throw them back.
8
00:00:54,868 --> 00:00:58,133
When Dad wasn't singing,
he spent his life on a surfboard.
9
00:00:58,872 --> 00:01:01,534
They called him the "Big Kahuna".
10
00:01:01,708 --> 00:01:05,144
When l was born, Dad wanted
to call me "Little Kahuna".
11
00:01:05,311 --> 00:01:07,905
Luckily, he settled for "Bobby".
12
00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:13,246
As for Mom, she joined that strange
cult called the "Mouseketeers".
13
00:01:13,419 --> 00:01:18,049
Beauty is as beauty does
That's what wise men say
14
00:01:18,224 --> 00:01:22,752
Now, if you would be beautiful
Do this every day
15
00:01:22,929 --> 00:01:25,591
Hi, Mouseketeers. I'm Annette.
16
00:01:25,765 --> 00:01:27,562
For neatness really pays
17
00:01:28,835 --> 00:01:33,067
She became the first pinup
queen for boys under 12.
18
00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:35,469
Anyhow, they got married
and moved to Ohio
19
00:01:35,642 --> 00:01:37,667
right after the accident.
20
00:01:38,211 --> 00:01:40,805
Don't get him started
on the surf accident.
21
00:01:40,980 --> 00:01:43,244
Around our house,
we have a nightly ritual.
22
00:01:43,416 --> 00:01:47,079
It's called "dinner
and then the accident story".
23
00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:49,187
Let me spare you this.
24
00:01:49,355 --> 00:01:51,050
Twenty years ago while surfing,
25
00:01:51,224 --> 00:01:55,183
this humongous wave knocked
the kahuna right out of Dad,
26
00:01:55,361 --> 00:01:57,386
and he's never been
the same since.
27
00:01:59,732 --> 00:02:02,462
Hold it! Hold it!
The hair, did you wet the hair?
28
00:02:02,635 --> 00:02:05,195
Don't wet the hair.
Try to get the water here, OK?
29
00:02:05,371 --> 00:02:08,306
Jamie, is my hair OK?
Good, OK.
30
00:02:08,474 --> 00:02:09,736
OK.
31
00:02:09,909 --> 00:02:11,171
Hi, need a car?
32
00:02:11,344 --> 00:02:13,403
This is my dad now.
33
00:02:13,579 --> 00:02:15,843
The closest he gets
to the ocean these days
34
00:02:16,015 --> 00:02:19,542
is when he plays the Surf King
in order to sell cars on TV.
35
00:02:19,719 --> 00:02:21,482
...your next car,
but you know what?
36
00:02:21,654 --> 00:02:24,987
Yep, the Big Kahuna now owns
Friendly Ford,
37
00:02:25,158 --> 00:02:28,150
the largest dealership in Ohio.
38
00:02:28,861 --> 00:02:30,453
It means he worries a lot,
39
00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:33,155
works longer hours
than a coalminer
40
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:36,063
and can be pretty
grouchy sometimes.
41
00:02:36,235 --> 00:02:39,932
Fleishman, massage this baby
and make her look pretty like the rest.
42
00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:41,835
What's the matter with you guys?
43
00:02:42,642 --> 00:02:45,304
It's not that he's a creep or anything.
44
00:02:45,478 --> 00:02:48,879
l think Dad just forgot
how to have fun.
45
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:54,447
This is our house in Ohio,
and this is my mom now.
46
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:56,918
She's still the most cheerful
person on earth,
47
00:02:57,090 --> 00:03:00,719
although she did develop
this one little quirk.
48
00:03:10,136 --> 00:03:12,696
Bobby, come get your lunch.
49
00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:16,000
As for me, l developed
a serious identity crisis
50
00:03:16,175 --> 00:03:18,166
and was at the breaking point.
51
00:03:18,344 --> 00:03:20,278
l couldn't live like this anymore.
52
00:03:20,446 --> 00:03:21,845
One day, l cracked.
53
00:03:22,015 --> 00:03:24,449
It was time to confront
Mom with her problem.
54
00:03:24,617 --> 00:03:26,710
I'm afraid.
55
00:03:26,886 --> 00:03:28,717
You're afraid of lunch?
56
00:03:28,888 --> 00:03:31,618
Bobby, no one's afraid of lunch.
57
00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:35,689
l am because l know exactly,
58
00:03:35,862 --> 00:03:41,732
unfailingly and with an absolute
certainty what's in there.
59
00:03:42,235 --> 00:03:46,262
It's been in there
every day of my life!
60
00:03:46,606 --> 00:03:50,633
It's peanut butter, isn't it, Mom?
Isn't it?!
61
00:03:52,645 --> 00:03:56,206
Well, you know, l believe it is.
62
00:03:56,783 --> 00:03:59,775
What do you mean,
"l believe it is"?
63
00:03:59,952 --> 00:04:01,715
Of course it is.
64
00:04:01,888 --> 00:04:04,982
You know there's
peanut butter in there.
65
00:04:05,158 --> 00:04:09,219
It's like a sick
kind of fixation with you.
66
00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:12,364
Well, it's good for you.
You need it.
67
00:04:12,532 --> 00:04:14,124
No, Ma.
68
00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:17,064
You need oxygen.
69
00:04:17,503 --> 00:04:19,266
l don't know how to break this to you,
70
00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:24,138
but peanut butter is not one of the
elements essential to human life.
71
00:04:24,577 --> 00:04:27,410
Wait a minute,
let me get this straight.
72
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:31,516
Are you saying
that you don't like peanut butter?
73
00:04:31,684 --> 00:04:34,881
Ma, I'm just saying
l need a change.
74
00:04:35,054 --> 00:04:37,022
Something different once in a while.
75
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:39,317
A little variety.
76
00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:42,620
Well, why didn't you just say so?
77
00:04:42,795 --> 00:04:47,061
Tomorrow, you get the Chunky.
78
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,731
It was useless.
79
00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,368
l was stressed.
80
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:54,265
Dad was developing some
serious stress problems too,
81
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,534
from his relentless
obsession with selling,
82
00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,735
selling, selling.
83
00:04:59,912 --> 00:05:02,073
What are all the salesmen doing,
sleeping?
84
00:05:03,549 --> 00:05:07,645
And although Mom wouldn't recognize
stress if it jumped up and bit her,
85
00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:12,257
she was also getting pretty weird from
spending so much time shopping,
86
00:05:12,425 --> 00:05:17,362
shopping, and yes, that's right,
more shopping.
87
00:05:17,530 --> 00:05:19,623
Something had to give.
88
00:05:19,799 --> 00:05:22,632
After 15 years,
Dad sensed trouble
89
00:05:22,802 --> 00:05:26,499
and finally realized
we all needed a break.
90
00:05:26,672 --> 00:05:28,162
A vacation?
91
00:05:29,008 --> 00:05:30,635
So we're off to Hawaii.
92
00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:33,870
Fun place for a kid
who only wears black.
93
00:05:34,046 --> 00:05:36,480
Hey, babe,
how about a Cuervo Gold?
94
00:05:36,849 --> 00:05:38,749
Now, you know l can't do that,
95
00:05:38,918 --> 00:05:41,978
but would you like
a little, junior pilot pin?
96
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:43,519
Whoop-dee-doo.
97
00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:46,315
Maybe l should just pin it
to your cheek.
98
00:05:46,492 --> 00:05:49,791
Bobby, dear, l hope
you're not being any trouble.
99
00:05:50,863 --> 00:05:53,730
That hair, that smile, those...
100
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,390
You're Annette!
101
00:05:55,568 --> 00:05:57,798
It must be so wonderful being you.
102
00:05:57,970 --> 00:05:59,870
Why, yes, it is.
103
00:06:00,773 --> 00:06:02,502
And you're the Big Chihuahua!
104
00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:06,338
"Kahuna", but that's
way back in the past.
105
00:06:06,512 --> 00:06:08,946
Now I'm a stressed-out
car salesman.
106
00:06:09,115 --> 00:06:12,175
Say, would you like to hear
about an accident l once had?
107
00:06:12,351 --> 00:06:15,377
- Oh, no.
- I'll pass.
108
00:06:15,888 --> 00:06:19,756
Jeez, l wish l could call the office
and find out what's going on.
109
00:06:19,926 --> 00:06:23,225
Oh, don't think about work now,
sweetheart.
110
00:06:23,396 --> 00:06:27,526
Just concentrate on relaxing
and having fun again.
111
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:32,103
Oh, Annette, l want to, it's just that
l hope l remember how.
112
00:06:32,271 --> 00:06:33,863
There's one thing l do remember:
113
00:06:34,974 --> 00:06:37,374
How much l love you.
114
00:06:37,643 --> 00:06:41,704
But the years have hardened me,
Annette.
115
00:06:41,881 --> 00:06:44,406
They certainly hardened your hair.
116
00:06:45,284 --> 00:06:46,546
Honey!
117
00:06:46,719 --> 00:06:49,210
It's all right,
l was just fixing his hat.
118
00:06:49,388 --> 00:06:52,516
We will be serving dinner
in our main cabin shortly.
119
00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:55,923
For those of you who ordered
special meals, good move.
120
00:06:56,095 --> 00:06:58,723
Great! Dinner!
121
00:06:59,065 --> 00:07:01,932
Bobby, did l ever tell you
the time l was surfing...?
122
00:07:02,101 --> 00:07:06,401
See, what'd l tell you?
Dinner and then the accident story.
123
00:07:06,572 --> 00:07:10,872
Dad, does the phrase "get over it"
mean anything to you?
124
00:07:11,043 --> 00:07:15,275
Yeah? Does the expression "a rap
in the mouth" mean anything to you?
125
00:07:16,048 --> 00:07:17,913
- Honey!
- He keeps needling me.
126
00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:19,984
- Do not!
- Do to!
127
00:07:20,152 --> 00:07:24,680
Stop it, boys! l don't want this to
happen when we get to Los Angeles.
128
00:07:24,857 --> 00:07:29,191
- l thought we were going to Hawaii.
- We're stopping to see your sister.
129
00:07:29,362 --> 00:07:31,057
- Sandi.
- No, Dad, don't!
130
00:07:31,230 --> 00:07:34,859
My little baby, my honey bunny,
my lamby whammy.
131
00:07:37,737 --> 00:07:39,602
This is why we don't travel.
132
00:10:10,723 --> 00:10:14,625
l hope the bags don't take too long.
We've only got a ten-hour layover.
133
00:10:14,794 --> 00:10:17,456
That's perfect.
Oh, there it is. Here.
134
00:10:18,631 --> 00:10:20,565
- Where's the movie stars?
- What?
135
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,831
l thought LA was supposed
to be loaded with movie stars,
136
00:10:25,004 --> 00:10:26,733
rock 'n' rollers, celebrities.
137
00:10:26,906 --> 00:10:30,069
Oh, honey, that's just
what all Midwesterners think.
138
00:10:30,242 --> 00:10:33,109
LA is just like any other place.
139
00:10:35,781 --> 00:10:37,874
Excuse me,
but l believe this is my bag.
140
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:42,316
Oh, I'm sorry, of course,
mine's leatherette.
141
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:46,322
- And this seems to be...
- Pigskin. Thank you very much.
142
00:10:48,961 --> 00:10:51,657
Hey, Mom,
you know who that was?
143
00:10:51,831 --> 00:10:53,799
No, honey, who?
144
00:10:53,966 --> 00:10:56,093
That was...
145
00:10:57,102 --> 00:10:59,195
No, l guess l was wrong.
146
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,970
Oh, sorry.
147
00:11:07,112 --> 00:11:09,046
We're not in now,
but leave a message,
148
00:11:09,215 --> 00:11:12,514
and we'll get back to you
as soon as we can, OK? Bye.
149
00:11:12,685 --> 00:11:16,644
Hi, Sandi, this is your father. Your
mother and l are at the airport here.
150
00:11:16,822 --> 00:11:20,383
Now, we got a couple of hours, and
we thought we'd see your new place.
151
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:24,586
When you say, "We're not in",
who exactly is "we"?
152
00:11:25,998 --> 00:11:28,432
Look at it, honey!
153
00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:30,626
The ocean!
154
00:11:30,803 --> 00:11:33,203
Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it?
155
00:11:33,372 --> 00:11:35,533
It smells kind of funny,
don't you think?
156
00:11:35,708 --> 00:11:39,644
Yeah, it smells like the ocean!
157
00:11:39,812 --> 00:11:41,109
What did Sandi say?
158
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,407
l didn't talk to her.
l got the machine.
159
00:11:43,582 --> 00:11:45,743
She said, "We're not in."
160
00:11:45,918 --> 00:11:49,285
Now, what do you think that means,
"We're not in"?
161
00:11:49,455 --> 00:11:51,286
Wild guess.
162
00:11:51,457 --> 00:11:53,425
l think it means she's not in.
163
00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:58,689
Boy, it's quite a piece of dialogue when
you two intellectual giants get together.
164
00:11:58,864 --> 00:12:00,559
l should be writing this down.
165
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:04,829
This kid's starting to bug me, Annette.
I'm telling you, Bobby, that's enough!
166
00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:07,165
- Now, cut it out!
- Don't start anything.
167
00:12:07,339 --> 00:12:08,806
Just relax.
168
00:12:08,974 --> 00:12:10,464
OK, but here's my point.
169
00:12:10,643 --> 00:12:13,942
She didn't say, "I'm not in."
She said, "We're not in."
170
00:12:14,113 --> 00:12:16,411
"We", you see, "we".
171
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:18,345
Now, what does "we" mean?
172
00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:22,817
l believe it's the plural form,
indicating more than one.
173
00:12:22,988 --> 00:12:26,685
Do you want me to conjugate
that for you, Pop?
174
00:12:26,859 --> 00:12:29,293
Do you know what
"conjugate" means, Dad?
175
00:12:29,461 --> 00:12:32,589
I'd like to conjugate you
on the back of the head!
176
00:12:32,765 --> 00:12:34,665
- Don't...
- He's driving me nuts!
177
00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:38,200
That's enough!
I'm sure Sandi is fine.
178
00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:41,066
Can't we enjoy being
back on the beach again?
179
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,538
- OK, OK.
- Please.
180
00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:45,904
Just one time,
I'd like to get him once.
181
00:12:46,078 --> 00:12:48,171
Stop it! Stop it.
182
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,622
Oh, look, honey,
it's our old beach!
183
00:12:58,791 --> 00:13:01,351
Yeah, big deal.
184
00:13:01,527 --> 00:13:03,256
Oh, and remember this.
185
00:13:03,429 --> 00:13:05,522
It was our song.
186
00:13:05,698 --> 00:13:08,861
Hey, the radio has a dial, you know.
187
00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:10,626
Sing with me, honey!
188
00:13:10,803 --> 00:13:12,703
Come on, honey,
I'm not in the mood.
189
00:13:12,871 --> 00:13:15,465
- Oh, please?
- l can't. I'm driving, OK?
190
00:13:15,641 --> 00:13:19,168
- l mean, l gotta concentrate.
- Thanks. l owe you one there, Dad.
191
00:13:20,913 --> 00:13:25,441
Sandi? You keep leaving the soap
on the shower floor.
192
00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:28,849
And it keeps getting gross
and squishy,
193
00:13:29,021 --> 00:13:31,421
and then it just disappears.
194
00:13:31,590 --> 00:13:34,491
This was my favorite soap-on-a-rope,
and look at this.
195
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:36,560
It's just rope.
196
00:13:37,463 --> 00:13:40,432
Gosh, Michael,
what a gut-wrenching tragedy.
197
00:13:40,599 --> 00:13:43,693
Get Jerry Lewis on the phone.
Let's get a telethon going.
198
00:13:45,270 --> 00:13:50,105
OK, I'm sorry I've got to do this,
but I'm with the smart-ass police.
199
00:13:50,275 --> 00:13:53,403
You're a repeat offender
and in clear violation.
200
00:13:53,579 --> 00:13:56,412
And now you go out the window!
201
00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:04,119
What are you writing?
202
00:14:04,289 --> 00:14:06,519
A letter to my folks.
203
00:14:06,692 --> 00:14:09,627
Yeah? Well, I'll bet I'm not
mentioned in that one either.
204
00:14:09,795 --> 00:14:13,026
That's right.
Oh, Michael, I'm sorry.
205
00:14:13,198 --> 00:14:16,998
My dad is a nice guy,
a good provider, cruelly handsome,
206
00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:19,899
kind of a weird dresser,
but in the last few years,
207
00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:23,803
he's just become
the teeniest bit conservative.
208
00:14:23,976 --> 00:14:25,705
What number did you say?
209
00:14:25,878 --> 00:14:27,675
2566.
210
00:14:28,847 --> 00:14:30,872
That's 64, 68.
211
00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,517
l don't get it.
212
00:14:32,685 --> 00:14:35,848
Do you mean to tell me
that our daughter is living on a pier?
213
00:14:36,021 --> 00:14:38,353
Sandi lives on a pier?
214
00:14:38,524 --> 00:14:42,255
Well, if l recall, one summer,
you lived under a pier.
215
00:14:42,428 --> 00:14:45,886
Annette, honey,
l am not my daughter.
216
00:14:46,065 --> 00:14:48,693
You figured that out
all by yourself, Pop?
217
00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:50,926
- Bobby...
- Stop it!
218
00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:53,503
Well, l think living on a pier
is adorable.
219
00:14:53,672 --> 00:14:55,503
Adorable? It's strange.
220
00:14:55,674 --> 00:14:58,302
Weird things happen on a pier.
221
00:14:58,477 --> 00:15:03,176
When you say, "We're not in",
who exactly is "we"?
222
00:15:09,354 --> 00:15:11,379
Michael!
223
00:15:11,557 --> 00:15:13,889
Michael!
224
00:15:14,059 --> 00:15:15,526
What?
225
00:15:16,061 --> 00:15:17,551
What's going on?
226
00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:22,694
You got any other clothes?
227
00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:25,132
- No.
- Good.
228
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:28,337
l guess those new fall
fashions are coming in.
229
00:15:28,907 --> 00:15:31,603
2566.
230
00:15:32,077 --> 00:15:33,601
A bait shop?
231
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:36,213
She lives on top of a bait shop?
232
00:15:36,381 --> 00:15:38,872
Michael, l love you.
Now get the hell out.
233
00:15:39,051 --> 00:15:42,384
- ls this like a chick thing?
- No, it's like a parent thing.
234
00:15:42,788 --> 00:15:45,086
- Sandi, it's your father.
- Get it?
235
00:15:45,257 --> 00:15:46,918
- Got it.
- Good.
236
00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:50,356
Sandi, come on, open the door.
237
00:15:50,696 --> 00:15:52,960
I'm coming, Dad!
238
00:15:54,299 --> 00:15:56,199
l think l hear something.
239
00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:01,369
You mean, she's making noise
in her own apartment?
240
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:04,304
They just go nuts in California,
huh, Dad?
241
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:07,172
- OK, now what? Now what?
- l don't know.
242
00:16:07,346 --> 00:16:08,711
OK, look. l do, l do.
243
00:16:08,881 --> 00:16:11,509
We let them in,
we get everything out in the open.
244
00:16:11,683 --> 00:16:14,083
We tell them l love you,
l want to marry you,
245
00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,380
and we trust that
they'll understand this.
246
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:17,920
Sandi!
247
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:22,117
If you got a guy in there, I'll cut off
his toes and sell them to the bait shop!
248
00:16:22,294 --> 00:16:25,730
Listen, this is my house too.
l will not be driven out...
249
00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:28,065
Dad!
250
00:16:30,936 --> 00:16:33,564
He's battering down the door
with someone's head?
251
00:16:33,739 --> 00:16:35,832
Dad, my eyes are crossing.
252
00:16:36,008 --> 00:16:39,944
I'm out of here.
Sandi, I've always loved you.
253
00:16:52,391 --> 00:16:55,121
I'm glad to see you, l mean that.
254
00:16:55,294 --> 00:17:00,459
Mom, Dad, Bobby.
What a lovely surprise.
255
00:17:00,632 --> 00:17:05,194
Oh, sweetheart.
Oh, you look beautiful.
256
00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:07,861
A little thin.
Doesn't she look thin?
257
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,837
She looks guilty.
Who was here?
258
00:17:10,008 --> 00:17:11,839
- No one.
- Who was just in here?
259
00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:15,002
Oh, l was on the phone.
Dad...
260
00:17:18,350 --> 00:17:20,750
Two toothbrushes, after-shave lotion,
261
00:17:20,919 --> 00:17:23,888
and the toilet seat is up!
l knew it!
262
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:26,087
- What was that?
- What?
263
00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:29,659
That thing. l saw you throw a thing.
Did you see that thing?
264
00:17:29,828 --> 00:17:32,820
l think l saw a thing,
but l don't know what thing.
265
00:17:32,998 --> 00:17:34,260
God, I'm proud.
266
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:36,833
This is like a conversation
at the Kissingers.
267
00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:44,204
Now l get it.
268
00:17:44,376 --> 00:17:46,469
- Bobby!
- Honey, what are you doing?
269
00:17:46,645 --> 00:17:49,842
What am l doing? It seems to me
that your daughter has developed
270
00:17:50,015 --> 00:17:53,143
a serious interest in surfing
or surfers. Come on, Bobby.
271
00:17:53,318 --> 00:17:56,446
- Honey...
- I'll be back.
272
00:18:01,927 --> 00:18:03,656
Sweetheart.
273
00:18:03,829 --> 00:18:06,024
ls there something you want
to tell me?
274
00:18:06,865 --> 00:18:10,426
That was my boyfriend. He wants to
marry me. He's been living with me,
275
00:18:10,602 --> 00:18:13,196
but l couldn't tell you,
because Dad would freak out.
276
00:18:13,372 --> 00:18:16,239
l don't know what's happening.
Oh, Mom, what will l do?
277
00:18:16,642 --> 00:18:18,610
Let's go shopping.
278
00:18:19,211 --> 00:18:21,941
Bobby! Bobby, slow up!
279
00:18:22,848 --> 00:18:25,214
Don't worry, Bobby.
When l find this guy,
280
00:18:25,384 --> 00:18:27,079
I'm gonna tear him apart.
281
00:18:27,252 --> 00:18:29,777
I'm gonna break his legs.
I'm gonna break his face.
282
00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:33,516
Thank you, Dad. You continue
to set a great example for me.
283
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:36,320
Bobby, come on, before we lose him.
284
00:18:40,265 --> 00:18:41,960
- l don't believe it...
- Pop!
285
00:18:42,134 --> 00:18:44,364
l don't believe...
l had him in my sights!
286
00:18:44,536 --> 00:18:47,130
- l saw him come up here.
- Look out!
287
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:54,308
Almost. Bobby...
288
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:07,885
Whoopsie-daisy.
289
00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:10,085
"Whoopsie-daisy"?
290
00:19:10,262 --> 00:19:12,662
Boy, back in my day, a surfboard...
291
00:19:12,831 --> 00:19:16,392
A surfboard was about 9 feet long,
weighed about 50 pounds.
292
00:19:16,568 --> 00:19:18,593
Not like this sissy job.
293
00:19:19,471 --> 00:19:23,032
It took a real man to handle
one of those babies.
294
00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:26,666
You know, l think the sport has
become a little bit effeminate.
295
00:19:26,845 --> 00:19:28,472
Don't you think?
296
00:19:29,548 --> 00:19:33,746
Just for the record,
l have a wildly different opinion.
297
00:19:34,686 --> 00:19:36,586
l like the kid.
298
00:19:36,755 --> 00:19:39,849
Great! That means that we're
hitting it off, doesn't it?
299
00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:44,086
l don't like the guy
with the hair helmet.
300
00:19:44,863 --> 00:19:46,353
Hair?
301
00:19:46,531 --> 00:19:48,158
Hair?
302
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:50,233
You're talking about hair?
303
00:19:50,402 --> 00:19:55,806
You guys get your haircuts
at the Braille Barber College?
304
00:19:56,742 --> 00:19:58,835
Good one, huh, Bobby?
305
00:19:59,011 --> 00:20:01,775
You know, l bet puberty
would have been great.
306
00:20:03,215 --> 00:20:06,742
You are on my beach.
307
00:20:06,918 --> 00:20:10,513
You've done an ugly thing
to my board.
308
00:20:10,689 --> 00:20:12,782
These are sins here.
309
00:20:12,958 --> 00:20:15,518
l, Zed, am God here.
310
00:20:15,694 --> 00:20:18,356
- Right?
- Right!
311
00:20:18,530 --> 00:20:21,624
Hey, listen. Thanks, babe.
You guys have been great.
312
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,062
We gotta split now.
313
00:20:23,235 --> 00:20:27,296
And thanks for showing us
your little toys. They're really cute.
314
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:32,272
Oh, really good, nice. Nice.
Thanks a lot, huh?
315
00:20:33,278 --> 00:20:35,178
You know? Life's a beach.
316
00:20:35,347 --> 00:20:36,974
Pop, you're really aware.
317
00:20:37,149 --> 00:20:39,117
- Hi, hon.
- Hi, Ma.
318
00:20:39,284 --> 00:20:40,911
Hi, did you have a nice time?
319
00:20:41,086 --> 00:20:42,986
We met these weird-looking guys,
320
00:20:43,155 --> 00:20:44,884
and they had really bad attitudes,
321
00:20:45,057 --> 00:20:48,254
were incredibly rude
and dangerous and wanted to kill us.
322
00:20:48,427 --> 00:20:49,826
It was so cool.
323
00:20:49,995 --> 00:20:52,293
Well, as long as you had fun.
324
00:20:52,464 --> 00:20:54,989
Oh, this wind.
Sandi, how's my hair?
325
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:56,600
Oh, it looks great, Mom.
326
00:21:09,548 --> 00:21:11,243
Oh, look!
327
00:21:11,416 --> 00:21:12,713
Let's go in for a second.
328
00:21:12,884 --> 00:21:15,409
Oh, come on, honey,
we've got a plane to catch.
329
00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:17,612
We used to spend
so much time here.
330
00:21:17,789 --> 00:21:20,257
Don't the memories
come flooding back?
331
00:21:20,425 --> 00:21:24,122
Mom, Dad, the early years...
I'm getting goose bumps.
332
00:21:24,296 --> 00:21:27,094
Mom, l gotta go.
I'm gonna be late for work.
333
00:21:31,136 --> 00:21:32,398
Oh, look!
334
00:21:34,005 --> 00:21:35,302
Dick Dale's on tonight.
335
00:21:35,474 --> 00:21:36,771
Let's go say hi to Dick.
336
00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:41,902
Honey, we can come back in the year
2000 and say hi to Dick.
337
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,049
- Oh, just for a minute.
- All right, all right.
338
00:21:45,217 --> 00:21:48,653
But exactly five minutes, OK?
I'll wait in the car.
339
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:51,846
Dad, it's been a pleasant visit.
Come back real soon, OK?
340
00:21:52,023 --> 00:21:55,288
All right, honey.
OK, I'm coming in.
341
00:21:58,296 --> 00:22:00,355
Parking!
342
00:22:04,402 --> 00:22:06,165
The Big Kahuna.
343
00:22:06,338 --> 00:22:10,001
Ed Byrnes, wow. How kooky!
344
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,243
Do you know they make a drink
here called the "Stunned Mullet",
345
00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:20,213
served in a coconut shell?
346
00:22:21,987 --> 00:22:25,423
Why, l once saw a woman drink
one of these, take off all her clothes
347
00:22:25,590 --> 00:22:30,220
and dance the pony
right here on this very table.
348
00:22:30,629 --> 00:22:31,994
And your point is?
349
00:22:32,164 --> 00:22:35,600
Point is, I'd like to buy you
two of them.
350
00:22:38,737 --> 00:22:42,366
That's very generous of you,
in a sleazy kind of way.
351
00:22:42,541 --> 00:22:45,066
But my husband and l
have a plane to catch soon.
352
00:22:45,243 --> 00:22:49,145
Say, hey, if a dynamite-looking
chick like you was married
353
00:22:49,314 --> 00:22:51,782
to a totally bitchin' dude like me,
354
00:22:51,950 --> 00:22:56,444
you wouldn't be alone for a minute.
Catch my drift?
355
00:22:57,556 --> 00:22:59,717
l dig chicks.
356
00:22:59,891 --> 00:23:03,987
Chicks dig me digging them.
Dig?
357
00:23:05,297 --> 00:23:07,026
Hey, slick.
358
00:23:07,199 --> 00:23:08,666
Oh, the name's Troy.
359
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:11,301
Oh, what a shock.
360
00:23:11,736 --> 00:23:13,533
Troy.
361
00:23:18,977 --> 00:23:22,572
- The old Stunned Mullet, huh?
- Yeah.
362
00:23:22,747 --> 00:23:26,581
You ought to try ordering
a real drink, slick.
363
00:23:26,751 --> 00:23:29,015
Let's go, Annette.
364
00:23:34,459 --> 00:23:37,553
Bridgette, where were we?
365
00:23:37,729 --> 00:23:40,630
Zebra hunting on the Serengeti, right?
366
00:23:42,367 --> 00:23:44,358
Oh, they glow in the dark.
367
00:23:44,536 --> 00:23:46,697
Wait, l wanna say goodbye to Sandi.
368
00:23:46,871 --> 00:23:48,600
l wanna get out of here right now.
369
00:23:48,773 --> 00:23:51,708
It was a mistake even getting
close to this old beach.
370
00:23:51,876 --> 00:23:53,901
l just wanna get on the plane, OK?
371
00:23:54,746 --> 00:23:56,873
Kahuna!
372
00:23:59,217 --> 00:24:00,980
- Connie?
- Yes!
373
00:24:01,152 --> 00:24:03,143
Look at you, 20 years later.
374
00:24:03,321 --> 00:24:06,654
Honey, you are still the best-looking
thing on this beach.
375
00:24:06,825 --> 00:24:09,055
Somebody get me a net!
376
00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:16,730
Connie, you remember Annette, huh?
377
00:24:16,901 --> 00:24:19,563
Oh, l didn't mean
that kind of Annette.
378
00:24:20,272 --> 00:24:22,172
Are you two still dating?
379
00:24:24,509 --> 00:24:27,967
Unfortunately, you look great too.
380
00:24:28,146 --> 00:24:30,239
Not this great, but great.
381
00:24:30,415 --> 00:24:34,146
Well, l try to take care of myself.
l eat right, and l get plenty of rest.
382
00:24:34,319 --> 00:24:37,152
Of course you do.
That's because you're boring.
383
00:24:38,723 --> 00:24:41,988
l didn't mean that.
Come on, you have to see my shrine.
384
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,685
Honey, we have a plane to catch.
385
00:24:44,863 --> 00:24:47,832
Oh, come on, Annette,
there's no rush. Hold on, hold on!
386
00:24:47,999 --> 00:24:49,728
- Come on!
- Honey!
387
00:24:51,336 --> 00:24:53,395
- Look.
- Unbelievable.
388
00:24:53,571 --> 00:24:56,165
You saved all this junk?
389
00:24:56,574 --> 00:24:58,132
That's not junk to me.
390
00:24:58,310 --> 00:25:01,074
Just some of the memories
of the best times of my life.
391
00:25:01,246 --> 00:25:03,373
You're not an easy guy to forget,
you know.
392
00:25:03,548 --> 00:25:07,279
- You were never easy period.
- Oh, look at this baby picture.
393
00:25:07,452 --> 00:25:10,319
l didn't think anybody would
remember me from those days.
394
00:25:10,488 --> 00:25:13,514
Are you nuts? You're the Big Kahuna.
There's your old board.
395
00:25:13,692 --> 00:25:15,387
Board!
396
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:16,822
Venus
397
00:25:16,995 --> 00:25:19,463
- A trunk of your old clothes.
- You're kidding!
398
00:25:19,631 --> 00:25:22,794
- Honey, you're a legend in my place.
- Annette, look at this.
399
00:25:22,967 --> 00:25:25,959
Connie saved everything
l used to care about.
400
00:25:29,174 --> 00:25:32,337
l don't see a picture of me.
401
00:25:35,747 --> 00:25:38,079
Come on, don't be a pill.
You got him, you won.
402
00:25:38,249 --> 00:25:40,046
That's right, honey, you won.
403
00:25:40,218 --> 00:25:43,676
Oh, OK. Well, we've got
a plane to catch. Let's go.
404
00:25:43,855 --> 00:25:46,153
You're not gonna
leave without singing a song.
405
00:25:46,324 --> 00:25:47,951
My husband doesn't sing anymore.
406
00:25:48,126 --> 00:25:50,651
Come on, honey, just five minutes.
407
00:25:50,829 --> 00:25:54,560
Connie, l wouldn't dream of leaving
this place without singing a song!
408
00:25:54,733 --> 00:25:58,430
Come on, let's go have some fun!
Come on, Annette, let's go!
409
00:25:59,637 --> 00:26:01,935
- Hey, Mom.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
410
00:26:02,107 --> 00:26:04,200
- Mom?
- ...the Big Kahuna!
411
00:26:14,853 --> 00:26:18,345
Mom, was l adopted?
And if not, can l be now?
412
00:26:18,690 --> 00:26:20,817
- Dick, do you know "Venus"?
- "Venus"?
413
00:26:20,992 --> 00:26:24,928
You're asking me, Dick Dale,
if l know "Venus"?
414
00:26:25,096 --> 00:26:26,961
No. But l know this.
415
00:26:27,132 --> 00:26:29,293
One, two, three, four!
416
00:26:56,594 --> 00:27:00,052
Well, I'm going out West
Where l belong
417
00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:05,400
Where the days are short
And the nights are long
418
00:27:07,806 --> 00:27:09,706
- Well, they walk
- They walk
419
00:27:09,874 --> 00:27:11,432
- And l walk
- l walk
420
00:27:11,609 --> 00:27:13,406
And they twist
I'll twist
421
00:27:13,578 --> 00:27:15,136
- I'll twist
- And they shimmy
422
00:27:15,313 --> 00:27:17,247
- And I'll shimmy
- Shimmy, shimmy
423
00:27:17,415 --> 00:27:19,349
And they fly
And I'll fly
424
00:27:19,517 --> 00:27:22,418
Well, they're out there having fun
425
00:27:22,587 --> 00:27:24,578
In the warm California sun
426
00:27:48,179 --> 00:27:50,943
Well, the girls are frisky
In old Frisco
427
00:27:54,319 --> 00:27:56,753
With pretty little chicks
Wherever you go
428
00:27:58,590 --> 00:28:00,649
- And they walk
- They walk
429
00:28:00,825 --> 00:28:02,258
- And I'll walk
- I'll walk
430
00:28:02,427 --> 00:28:03,894
- And they twist
- They twist
431
00:28:04,062 --> 00:28:05,495
- And I'll twist
- I'll twist
432
00:28:05,663 --> 00:28:08,291
- And they shimmy, and I'll shimmy
- Shimmy, shimmy
433
00:28:08,466 --> 00:28:10,957
And they fly
And I'll fly
434
00:28:11,135 --> 00:28:13,660
Well, they're out there having fun
435
00:28:13,838 --> 00:28:16,534
In the warm California sun
436
00:28:16,708 --> 00:28:19,370
Yeah, they're out there having fun
437
00:28:19,544 --> 00:28:21,603
In the warm California sun
438
00:28:34,425 --> 00:28:35,824
Connie.
439
00:28:36,327 --> 00:28:38,454
Thanks. It was great
seeing you again.
440
00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:41,690
Yeah, well, there's
more of me to see.
441
00:28:43,234 --> 00:28:45,099
- We missed the plane.
- Really?
442
00:28:45,270 --> 00:28:47,329
Oh, how time flies
when you're having...
443
00:28:47,505 --> 00:28:49,063
Don't say it!
444
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,538
I've been trying
to get you to have fun,
445
00:28:51,709 --> 00:28:54,906
but you didn't seem able
to have any with me, did you?
446
00:28:55,079 --> 00:28:58,378
- Come on, Annette, lighten up.
- Lighten up?
447
00:28:58,550 --> 00:29:02,418
If this marriage gets any lighter,
it'll float!
448
00:29:02,587 --> 00:29:05,249
You sure didn't feel
like singing with me, did you?
449
00:29:05,423 --> 00:29:08,392
Or spending any time
with your daughter.
450
00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,154
Oh, come on, Annette.
Don't be ridiculous.
451
00:29:11,329 --> 00:29:13,923
l knew we should not have
come back to this beach.
452
00:29:14,098 --> 00:29:18,330
Look, we are going
back to Ohio right now.
453
00:29:19,504 --> 00:29:21,062
Are we?
454
00:29:21,239 --> 00:29:25,369
Well, I'm spending time
with my daughter and my son.
455
00:29:25,543 --> 00:29:28,103
And maybe, just maybe,
456
00:29:28,446 --> 00:29:30,311
I'll have a little fun myself.
457
00:29:30,481 --> 00:29:32,915
Yeah!
458
00:29:33,084 --> 00:29:35,985
Annette, l am going home.
Are you coming now?
459
00:29:36,154 --> 00:29:37,416
No.
460
00:29:37,589 --> 00:29:39,113
- Yeah.
- All right.
461
00:29:39,290 --> 00:29:41,485
Then don't come later.
462
00:29:43,695 --> 00:29:45,822
How about never?
463
00:29:45,997 --> 00:29:48,591
- All right!
- Yeah!
464
00:30:01,613 --> 00:30:03,877
What the hell are you doing?
465
00:30:04,048 --> 00:30:05,948
What are you doing?
466
00:30:06,117 --> 00:30:08,551
Well, l thought you were my girlfriend.
467
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,655
Michael, put some clothes on.
468
00:30:11,956 --> 00:30:15,892
What clothes? Tuna fish are wearing
my clothes, remember?
469
00:30:16,894 --> 00:30:19,294
- Whose luggage is that?
- My mom's.
470
00:30:20,264 --> 00:30:22,528
- They're still here?
- Yes, she and Bobby.
471
00:30:22,700 --> 00:30:25,066
They'll be here any minute.
They had a fight.
472
00:30:25,236 --> 00:30:27,136
There's a lot of that going around.
473
00:30:27,305 --> 00:30:29,603
We are not having a fight.
474
00:30:29,774 --> 00:30:31,833
- Well, am l sleeping here tonight?
- No.
475
00:30:32,010 --> 00:30:33,375
Then we're having a fight.
476
00:30:33,544 --> 00:30:36,342
My mother's only gonna
be here for a couple of days.
477
00:30:36,648 --> 00:30:38,912
A couple of days?
478
00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:42,712
Oh, well, that is just great.
479
00:30:42,887 --> 00:30:45,447
They start out on a three-hour tour,
480
00:30:45,623 --> 00:30:48,456
and now they're gonna be here
for God knows how long.
481
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:52,152
Am l mistaken, or is this the plot
to Gilligan's Island?
482
00:30:52,330 --> 00:30:54,696
You are acting as if
l have control over this.
483
00:30:54,866 --> 00:30:58,461
Well, l don't, so l think you could
make a little effort to understand.
484
00:30:58,636 --> 00:31:00,501
I'll tell you what l understand.
485
00:31:00,672 --> 00:31:04,631
l understand that this morning, l had
a home, a wardrobe and a fiancée.
486
00:31:04,809 --> 00:31:08,176
Now all l gotta do is go out and find
a new home, new wardrobe
487
00:31:08,346 --> 00:31:11,179
- and maybe a new...
- Don't toss your threats at me.
488
00:31:11,349 --> 00:31:13,476
l am in the middle of a family crisis.
489
00:31:13,651 --> 00:31:17,018
And if that just inconveniences
you a little, well, too bad.
490
00:31:17,922 --> 00:31:19,822
- Fine.
- Fine.
491
00:31:19,991 --> 00:31:21,856
Would you like your stupid ring back?
492
00:31:22,293 --> 00:31:23,783
Stupid?
493
00:31:23,961 --> 00:31:27,021
A little surfer on a board.
Good thing you're not a plumber.
494
00:31:27,198 --> 00:31:30,065
I'd be walking around with a toilet bowl
on my hand.
495
00:31:30,835 --> 00:31:32,200
Fine.
496
00:31:32,370 --> 00:31:34,565
I'll find someone...
497
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,198
...who'll appreciate it.
498
00:31:37,375 --> 00:31:39,206
Pick a girl with a sense of humor
499
00:31:39,377 --> 00:31:41,402
because she'll have
to enjoy a good joke.
500
00:31:56,728 --> 00:31:57,990
Hey, Ma?
501
00:31:58,496 --> 00:32:01,761
Am l now officially a troubled child
from a broken home?
502
00:32:01,933 --> 00:32:05,334
No, your father will be back.
503
00:32:06,604 --> 00:32:08,697
He was pretty steamed.
504
00:32:08,873 --> 00:32:10,500
Trust me on this one.
505
00:32:10,675 --> 00:32:13,610
Your father and l have
been together a long time.
506
00:32:13,778 --> 00:32:16,372
l know what he's gonna do
before he does.
507
00:32:16,547 --> 00:32:17,844
And he'll be back.
508
00:32:18,015 --> 00:32:20,449
l know that in my heart.
509
00:32:20,918 --> 00:32:24,046
You know, you're awful sweet, Mom.
510
00:32:24,222 --> 00:32:27,282
And then I'll make him suffer.
511
00:32:27,458 --> 00:32:30,359
Bartender, another drink, old buddy.
512
00:32:30,528 --> 00:32:33,122
Don't call me that.
l hate being called that.
513
00:32:34,232 --> 00:32:36,530
Don't get bent.
514
00:32:36,868 --> 00:32:39,803
You know, you look familiar to me.
Have we met?
515
00:32:39,971 --> 00:32:42,235
l don't think so.
I've been away a long time.
516
00:32:42,406 --> 00:32:43,839
- Oh, prison?
- No, worse.
517
00:32:44,008 --> 00:32:47,876
There were chicks, but you couldn't
touch them. Wanna hear about it?
518
00:32:48,479 --> 00:32:49,741
No.
519
00:32:50,148 --> 00:32:51,809
Another drink.
520
00:32:51,983 --> 00:32:54,781
Don't you think you ought
to slow down now, tiger?
521
00:32:54,952 --> 00:32:56,920
I'm having fun.
522
00:32:57,088 --> 00:33:00,751
Annette says l can't have any fun.
Are you fun?
523
00:33:00,925 --> 00:33:03,758
Honey, I'm an amusement park.
524
00:33:05,463 --> 00:33:07,954
Que sera sera
525
00:33:08,132 --> 00:33:11,932
Whatever will be will be
526
00:33:21,078 --> 00:33:22,443
Mom.
527
00:33:22,613 --> 00:33:25,844
Will you stop having
such a good time? It's annoying.
528
00:33:26,017 --> 00:33:27,450
I've been told that.
529
00:33:27,618 --> 00:33:29,984
l just think everything will turn out.
530
00:33:30,154 --> 00:33:31,951
How do you know that?
531
00:33:32,123 --> 00:33:35,024
l don't know. I'm just lucky, l guess.
532
00:33:35,193 --> 00:33:36,717
l believe in happy endings.
533
00:33:36,894 --> 00:33:39,692
Maybe you don't understand
exactly what went down today.
534
00:33:39,864 --> 00:33:41,195
You and your husband,
535
00:33:41,365 --> 00:33:43,265
my mother and father,
536
00:33:43,434 --> 00:33:44,901
have separated.
537
00:33:45,069 --> 00:33:47,663
Me and my fiancé have split up.
538
00:33:47,839 --> 00:33:51,434
In less than six hours,
our lives have been shattered.
539
00:33:51,609 --> 00:33:53,873
Any suggestions?
540
00:33:55,346 --> 00:33:57,211
A pajama party!
541
00:35:00,111 --> 00:35:01,373
Hey!
542
00:35:02,246 --> 00:35:06,239
Zed! Zed, leave her alone!
543
00:35:08,286 --> 00:35:13,019
Hey, that's my mother!
That's my mother!
544
00:35:13,190 --> 00:35:16,353
Help! Help!
545
00:35:16,527 --> 00:35:19,223
Get out of here, you boys!
546
00:35:30,675 --> 00:35:32,472
Connie.
547
00:35:32,643 --> 00:35:35,077
Can l ask you one question?
548
00:35:36,247 --> 00:35:38,408
I've been waiting 20 years.
549
00:35:40,318 --> 00:35:42,252
What the hell is a kahuna anyway?
550
00:35:43,821 --> 00:35:45,652
ls it good to have a big one?
551
00:35:46,824 --> 00:35:48,724
Why don't l ever learn?
552
00:35:48,893 --> 00:35:50,884
Give him another drink.
553
00:35:51,062 --> 00:35:53,496
- Another drink!
- Heavy on the fruit.
554
00:35:53,664 --> 00:35:56,394
You know, l lived with a guy for years,
a real genius.
555
00:35:56,567 --> 00:35:59,263
He could take a couple of coconuts,
a piece of string
556
00:35:59,437 --> 00:36:00,927
and make a nuclear reactor.
557
00:36:01,105 --> 00:36:02,970
But he couldn't fix a hole in a boat.
558
00:36:03,140 --> 00:36:04,971
- You wanna hear the rest?
- No.
559
00:36:05,142 --> 00:36:07,076
Maybe the Midwest is for me.
560
00:36:07,378 --> 00:36:10,370
Dad went out that night and drank
enough Stunned Mullets
561
00:36:10,548 --> 00:36:12,709
to kill a plow horse.
562
00:36:12,883 --> 00:36:15,249
He's never been a big drinker.
563
00:36:15,419 --> 00:36:16,784
You're about to see why.
564
00:36:44,482 --> 00:36:48,919
All right, men, there's the clock!
Waves are crazy, come on!
565
00:36:51,288 --> 00:36:53,722
Dude, dude, it's totally gnarly.
566
00:36:53,891 --> 00:36:56,325
Mountain's Surf Report.
Zuma...
567
00:36:56,494 --> 00:37:00,726
Whoa, dude, 8-foot faces,
offshore winds, bro!
568
00:37:00,898 --> 00:37:02,365
Mountain's Surf Report.
569
00:37:02,533 --> 00:37:06,970
Dume. Dume's totally maxed out.
Dude, get on your boards!
570
00:37:07,138 --> 00:37:09,003
County Line, we've got 3 to 6.
571
00:37:12,109 --> 00:37:13,770
Mountain's Surf Report.
572
00:37:13,944 --> 00:37:16,139
Yo, Webby, Webby.
Dude, it's your mom.
573
00:37:16,313 --> 00:37:17,974
l can't talk now. l gotta surf!
574
00:37:18,149 --> 00:37:21,175
Sorry, ma'am, he's dead.
575
00:37:21,352 --> 00:37:24,082
Malibu.
576
00:37:24,255 --> 00:37:29,249
Malibu's not really happening now,
dude. Check me tomorrow, all right?
577
00:37:30,561 --> 00:37:34,497
Hey, shine those spots, dude!
It's totally shredding right here!
578
00:37:34,665 --> 00:37:37,725
Come on, dudes, let's crank it!
579
00:38:34,024 --> 00:38:37,289
Oh, my head.
580
00:38:39,964 --> 00:38:41,795
Hey, good morning.
581
00:38:41,966 --> 00:38:43,934
Wrong.
582
00:38:44,468 --> 00:38:46,595
- Am l dead?
- No.
583
00:38:46,770 --> 00:38:50,331
l feel dead.
584
00:38:53,978 --> 00:38:55,570
Where am l?
585
00:38:55,746 --> 00:38:57,771
You're at my friend Mountain's place.
586
00:38:57,948 --> 00:39:01,509
We tried to figure where to take you
last night, but you kept saying,
587
00:39:01,685 --> 00:39:04,483
"Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh,
did l ever leave Ohio?"
588
00:39:05,456 --> 00:39:07,890
What a damn good question.
589
00:39:08,626 --> 00:39:10,423
Why did l leave?
590
00:39:11,729 --> 00:39:15,187
l gotta get out of here.
l gotta go back to the hotel.
591
00:39:15,366 --> 00:39:18,335
l gotta get out of these clothes.
592
00:39:18,502 --> 00:39:20,493
l gotta find Annette.
593
00:39:23,340 --> 00:39:25,331
Oh, l gotta...
594
00:39:25,509 --> 00:39:27,534
l gotta...
595
00:39:27,711 --> 00:39:30,271
What is that?
596
00:39:30,447 --> 00:39:32,244
It's a little pick-me-up.
597
00:39:32,416 --> 00:39:34,782
Keith Richards lives on these.
598
00:39:34,952 --> 00:39:36,385
- Keith?
- Richards.
599
00:39:36,554 --> 00:39:38,988
- Richards?
- The Rolling Stones.
600
00:39:39,156 --> 00:39:41,021
Trust me.
601
00:40:13,924 --> 00:40:15,221
l love it!
602
00:40:15,392 --> 00:40:16,950
l feel great!
603
00:40:17,127 --> 00:40:21,063
Oh, boy, am l forever in your debt.
604
00:40:21,232 --> 00:40:26,260
Say, can l get you a used
Ford Fairlane or something?
605
00:40:26,437 --> 00:40:28,405
No.
606
00:40:28,572 --> 00:40:30,870
But would you mind if l married
your daughter?
607
00:40:33,510 --> 00:40:34,772
It's you!
608
00:40:34,945 --> 00:40:36,936
It's you!
609
00:40:37,248 --> 00:40:41,480
Have you been sleeping
with my daughter?
610
00:40:41,885 --> 00:40:43,318
Why don't you ask Sandi?
611
00:40:43,487 --> 00:40:45,352
Because l can't break her legs.
612
00:40:45,956 --> 00:40:48,516
Back in the Dark Ages,
when you were a teener,
613
00:40:48,692 --> 00:40:50,592
you must've slept with Sandi's mom.
614
00:40:50,761 --> 00:40:53,924
As a matter of fact,
only on our honeymoon.
615
00:40:54,098 --> 00:40:57,761
Oh, l saw her yesterday,
and you must've tried.
616
00:40:57,935 --> 00:40:59,197
Never!
617
00:40:59,370 --> 00:41:01,565
- Come on.
- Well, maybe sometimes.
618
00:41:01,739 --> 00:41:03,502
- I'm a guy.
- All right, all right!
619
00:41:03,674 --> 00:41:05,164
Every waking minute.
620
00:41:25,162 --> 00:41:27,562
There, that's better.
621
00:41:27,731 --> 00:41:28,993
Now go swimming.
622
00:41:29,166 --> 00:41:30,758
- No.
- Why not?
623
00:41:30,934 --> 00:41:33,198
I've got my reasons.
624
00:41:34,038 --> 00:41:35,403
Bobby!
625
00:41:35,572 --> 00:41:38,598
- Yeah, Ma?
- What is that on your chest?
626
00:41:38,776 --> 00:41:41,404
It's the bloody surf demon
on the beach of despair,
627
00:41:41,578 --> 00:41:42,840
and l love it.
628
00:41:43,013 --> 00:41:46,813
It represents my disgust toward
the world you grownups made,
629
00:41:46,984 --> 00:41:49,976
and I'll never, never wash it off.
630
00:41:50,387 --> 00:41:53,288
Well, l think it's so cute.
631
00:41:53,457 --> 00:41:56,790
It's like one of those adorable Smurfs,
isn't it?
632
00:41:57,528 --> 00:41:59,655
I'm going swimming.
633
00:42:06,870 --> 00:42:08,633
What are you looking at?
634
00:42:08,806 --> 00:42:10,330
ls that him? Michael?
635
00:42:10,507 --> 00:42:13,169
Yeah, but now he's acting
as if we never even met.
636
00:42:13,344 --> 00:42:16,677
Oh, Mom, l miss him.
What am l gonna do?
637
00:42:16,847 --> 00:42:18,576
Well, l know what l would do.
638
00:42:18,749 --> 00:42:22,276
It's the middle of the day.
We'd look a little silly in our pajamas.
639
00:42:22,453 --> 00:42:26,412
Oh, not that,
but l like what you're thinking.
640
00:42:27,524 --> 00:42:30,254
OK, I'm gonna paint you a picture.
641
00:42:30,427 --> 00:42:32,691
l see this guy sitting over there.
642
00:42:35,999 --> 00:42:37,830
And your father is sitting,
643
00:42:38,001 --> 00:42:39,969
let's say, over here.
644
00:42:40,571 --> 00:42:41,833
OK?
645
00:42:42,005 --> 00:42:46,442
Now listen carefully, girls.
This is what l would do.
646
00:43:02,593 --> 00:43:04,390
Nice setup.
647
00:43:09,233 --> 00:43:12,634
It's good to see you again.
648
00:43:12,803 --> 00:43:15,135
Sit, sit.
649
00:43:15,472 --> 00:43:18,339
So, what were you saying?
650
00:43:19,877 --> 00:43:21,674
l said, nice setup.
651
00:43:21,845 --> 00:43:23,244
Oh, thank you.
652
00:43:23,414 --> 00:43:25,507
You've got a nice setup yourself.
653
00:43:26,049 --> 00:43:28,916
Wow, what a charming remark.
654
00:43:29,086 --> 00:43:31,213
You really know how to talk to a gal.
655
00:43:31,388 --> 00:43:33,185
Well,
656
00:43:33,524 --> 00:43:36,049
l know women.
657
00:43:37,227 --> 00:43:38,854
I've heard that a lot.
658
00:43:39,496 --> 00:43:41,862
You really have a lot of nice stuff here.
659
00:43:42,032 --> 00:43:43,897
Why, thank you.
660
00:43:44,067 --> 00:43:45,591
You know what they say:
661
00:43:45,769 --> 00:43:51,264
You can tell the men from the boys
by the price of their toys.
662
00:43:56,346 --> 00:43:59,144
So, so...
663
00:43:59,316 --> 00:44:02,615
...how's that little husband of yours?
664
00:44:02,786 --> 00:44:04,879
Oh, let's not worry about him.
665
00:44:05,556 --> 00:44:09,253
My name's Annette.
666
00:44:09,726 --> 00:44:11,626
Troy.
667
00:44:13,096 --> 00:44:15,155
Well, Troy, let's cut the small talk.
668
00:44:15,332 --> 00:44:17,129
OK.
669
00:44:17,301 --> 00:44:19,292
How'd you like to take me
out tonight?
670
00:44:19,470 --> 00:44:24,100
Impress me by throwing
your money around...
671
00:44:24,274 --> 00:44:28,176
...get me drunk and back to your place.
672
00:44:28,846 --> 00:44:32,213
Wait. Wait a minute.
673
00:44:32,516 --> 00:44:35,485
- Have we gone out before?
- No.
674
00:44:35,652 --> 00:44:36,914
No?
675
00:44:37,087 --> 00:44:38,816
Toodles.
676
00:44:39,690 --> 00:44:41,453
Toodles?
677
00:44:47,731 --> 00:44:51,258
Now, that's what l would've done
if your father had been there.
678
00:44:51,435 --> 00:44:53,733
Would've driven him nuts.
He'd have walked up,
679
00:44:53,904 --> 00:44:56,395
punched the guy
and then kissed me.
680
00:44:56,573 --> 00:44:58,473
Possibly with an open mouth.
681
00:44:58,642 --> 00:45:00,075
Are you sure about this?
682
00:45:00,244 --> 00:45:02,610
Well, you were born, weren't you?
683
00:45:02,946 --> 00:45:04,971
Well, Mom's theory was swell,
684
00:45:05,148 --> 00:45:08,948
except Dad wasn't exactly
the two-fisted stud she remembered.
685
00:45:09,119 --> 00:45:10,381
Good morning, tiger.
686
00:45:10,554 --> 00:45:12,818
He hightailed it to Daddy O's
and Connie.
687
00:45:12,990 --> 00:45:16,653
And how is Mr. Excitement
this morning, huh?
688
00:45:17,761 --> 00:45:20,355
- You look like you've been...
- Connie dug Dad.
689
00:45:20,531 --> 00:45:22,829
There wasn't anything
she wouldn't do for him.
690
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,729
How are you fixed for bread?
691
00:45:24,902 --> 00:45:26,335
Oh, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
692
00:45:26,503 --> 00:45:29,666
- That's bull. Hi, Mom.
- Hi, honey.
693
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,102
Mom?
694
00:45:31,275 --> 00:45:32,799
Mom?
695
00:45:32,976 --> 00:45:34,705
What does that mean, "Mom"?
696
00:45:35,846 --> 00:45:38,178
Well, figure it out, tiger.
697
00:45:38,348 --> 00:45:40,077
Can you add?
698
00:45:40,450 --> 00:45:41,883
Oh, now, wait a second.
699
00:45:42,052 --> 00:45:44,520
If you're his mom
and he's, like, 22,
700
00:45:45,222 --> 00:45:47,588
that means he could be my...
701
00:45:48,091 --> 00:45:50,821
Get real. We never did anything.
702
00:45:50,994 --> 00:45:52,325
We didn't?
703
00:45:52,496 --> 00:45:55,329
- No.
- l thought we did.
704
00:45:55,499 --> 00:45:58,935
You mean, you can't remember
if we did anything or not?
705
00:45:59,102 --> 00:46:01,832
Boy, you really know how
to flatter a girl, don't you?
706
00:46:02,606 --> 00:46:05,370
l had Michael with my first husband,
Spud.
707
00:46:05,542 --> 00:46:07,942
- Spud?
- Spud.
708
00:46:08,111 --> 00:46:09,772
Spud.
709
00:46:10,881 --> 00:46:14,977
Spud! Oh, Spud.
710
00:46:15,152 --> 00:46:18,610
- Spud?
- Yes, and he was not square.
711
00:46:19,356 --> 00:46:20,948
Spud? Oh, no.
712
00:46:21,124 --> 00:46:22,682
You didn't marry Spud, did you?
713
00:46:22,859 --> 00:46:25,453
Yeah. Come on,
you're ragging on my dad.
714
00:46:25,629 --> 00:46:28,189
Oh, no, l didn't mean...
No, forgive me.
715
00:46:28,365 --> 00:46:31,698
So you got this cherry bomb, right?
716
00:46:31,868 --> 00:46:34,200
But you don't wanna be around
when it goes off,
717
00:46:34,371 --> 00:46:36,362
because then you get blamed, right?
718
00:46:36,540 --> 00:46:38,701
- Right?
- Right!
719
00:46:39,910 --> 00:46:41,309
So dig.
720
00:46:41,478 --> 00:46:46,040
You take this baby, and you
put the sucker in the women's john.
721
00:46:49,586 --> 00:46:51,417
Three minutes later, bam!
722
00:46:52,923 --> 00:46:55,357
Chicks flying everywhere.
723
00:46:56,793 --> 00:46:59,990
You are a true genius.
724
00:47:00,163 --> 00:47:03,257
- Yeah.
- l know that.
725
00:47:03,433 --> 00:47:05,264
So, what do you say
we do some damage
726
00:47:05,435 --> 00:47:07,164
to my dad's American Express card?
727
00:47:09,339 --> 00:47:10,966
- All right.
- Yeah.
728
00:47:11,141 --> 00:47:12,574
l really like this kid.
729
00:47:12,743 --> 00:47:14,711
Now, look, man. I'm gonna do it.
730
00:47:14,878 --> 00:47:17,813
I'm gonna tell Sandi l was an idiot
and apologize.
731
00:47:18,548 --> 00:47:21,278
Michael, Michael, wait a minute.
732
00:47:21,451 --> 00:47:23,009
You're making a bigger mistake.
733
00:47:23,186 --> 00:47:25,416
OK. So, what do l do?
734
00:47:25,589 --> 00:47:27,079
Yeah, what's he gonna do?
735
00:47:27,257 --> 00:47:30,351
I'll tell you what you do.
You trick them.
736
00:47:30,527 --> 00:47:34,759
You convince them that
you're having the time of your life
737
00:47:34,931 --> 00:47:38,298
while they're sitting there
depressed and miserable.
738
00:47:38,468 --> 00:47:40,902
- Yeah!
- Cool idea!
739
00:47:41,204 --> 00:47:44,173
Do you girls know how
to Jamaica ska?
740
00:47:44,341 --> 00:47:45,603
Jamaica what?
741
00:47:45,776 --> 00:47:49,473
Yeah, sure, Annette,
it's a required course at our college.
742
00:47:49,646 --> 00:47:52,774
Well, do you know how
to Jamaica ska?
743
00:48:08,799 --> 00:48:10,289
Ska, ska, ska
744
00:48:12,235 --> 00:48:15,033
Jamaica ska
745
00:48:15,639 --> 00:48:17,800
Ska, ska, ska
746
00:48:19,042 --> 00:48:21,840
Do the ska
747
00:48:22,813 --> 00:48:26,010
Not many people can cha-cha-cha
748
00:48:26,183 --> 00:48:29,482
Not everybody can do the twist
749
00:48:29,653 --> 00:48:32,884
But everybody can do the ska
750
00:48:33,056 --> 00:48:35,889
It's the new dance you can't resist
751
00:48:36,059 --> 00:48:38,857
Ska, ska, ska
752
00:48:39,596 --> 00:48:43,692
Fun! Fun! We're having fun!
753
00:48:43,867 --> 00:48:46,836
Now everybody can do the ska
754
00:48:47,003 --> 00:48:50,166
It's a new dance that goes like this
755
00:48:50,340 --> 00:48:52,137
Now bow your head
756
00:48:53,577 --> 00:48:54,942
And swing your arms
757
00:48:57,247 --> 00:48:59,511
Shake your hips
758
00:49:00,517 --> 00:49:02,109
Now do a dip
759
00:49:03,286 --> 00:49:05,083
Ska, ska, ska
760
00:49:06,556 --> 00:49:09,286
Jamaica ska
761
00:49:10,293 --> 00:49:12,818
Ska, ska, ska
762
00:49:13,730 --> 00:49:15,129
Do the ska
763
00:49:31,148 --> 00:49:32,877
Now bow your head
764
00:49:34,317 --> 00:49:36,444
And swing your arms
765
00:49:36,620 --> 00:49:37,882
We got it.
766
00:49:38,054 --> 00:49:39,612
And shake your hips
767
00:49:39,790 --> 00:49:41,052
Here we go.
768
00:49:41,224 --> 00:49:43,556
Now do a dip
769
00:49:44,594 --> 00:49:46,528
Ska, ska, ska
770
00:49:47,798 --> 00:49:49,265
Jamaica ska
771
00:49:51,468 --> 00:49:53,902
Ska, ska, ska
772
00:49:54,838 --> 00:49:56,999
- Do the ska
- Hey, where you going?
773
00:49:58,408 --> 00:50:00,171
We love you, Annette.
774
00:50:00,343 --> 00:50:03,608
Not many people can cha-cha-cha
775
00:50:03,780 --> 00:50:07,272
Not everybody can do the twist
776
00:50:07,450 --> 00:50:10,112
But everybody can do the ska
777
00:50:10,287 --> 00:50:13,586
It's the new dance that goes like this
778
00:50:13,757 --> 00:50:15,554
Ska, ska, ska
779
00:50:17,027 --> 00:50:18,858
Jamaica ska
780
00:50:20,330 --> 00:50:22,890
Ska, ska, ska
781
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,230
Do the ska
782
00:50:27,103 --> 00:50:29,697
Ska, ska, ska
783
00:50:30,373 --> 00:50:32,102
Jamaica ska
784
00:50:33,844 --> 00:50:35,812
Ska, ska, ska
785
00:50:37,714 --> 00:50:39,375
Do the ska
786
00:50:58,401 --> 00:51:01,495
When Mom got depressed, she sang.
787
00:51:01,671 --> 00:51:04,401
When Dad got depressed,
he went back to selling.
788
00:51:04,574 --> 00:51:07,236
And l mean anything on wheels.
789
00:51:07,410 --> 00:51:08,672
Hey, dude.
790
00:51:09,579 --> 00:51:11,069
Hey.
791
00:51:11,248 --> 00:51:13,079
Believe this?
792
00:51:13,250 --> 00:51:16,219
The heavens open,
everybody splits from the beach,
793
00:51:16,386 --> 00:51:19,446
and l wind up making 18 bucks
for the day!
794
00:51:19,623 --> 00:51:22,353
- All right, good work.
- Yeah, good work. 18 bucks?
795
00:51:22,525 --> 00:51:24,823
l got socks that cost more than that.
796
00:51:24,995 --> 00:51:28,931
Really? l think you got screwed
on that deal.
797
00:51:29,099 --> 00:51:31,590
So this is what you do
for a living, huh?
798
00:51:31,768 --> 00:51:34,032
Hey, all right.
799
00:51:34,204 --> 00:51:36,229
l do this because l love it.
800
00:51:36,406 --> 00:51:38,271
l don't do it for a living.
801
00:51:38,441 --> 00:51:39,999
Too bad, they're good.
802
00:51:40,176 --> 00:51:42,235
l mean, they look real good.
803
00:51:42,412 --> 00:51:45,870
Not as good as the long, wooden
boards l used to ride, but...
804
00:51:46,049 --> 00:51:49,576
Yeah, if you like riding around
on a coffee table.
805
00:51:52,389 --> 00:51:55,256
I'll tell you what. You're all right.
You got some style.
806
00:51:55,425 --> 00:51:57,689
- This looks like it'll be a beauty.
- Hey...
807
00:51:57,861 --> 00:51:59,692
All right.
808
00:51:59,863 --> 00:52:02,764
Bet you these would be easy to sell,
huh?
809
00:52:02,933 --> 00:52:05,333
l can just see this.
Marketing is what it needs.
810
00:52:05,502 --> 00:52:07,732
California, then we go nationwide.
811
00:52:07,904 --> 00:52:09,633
- Why would l wanna do that?
- No,
812
00:52:09,806 --> 00:52:13,469
- you're just gonna give them away?
- That's what l do.
813
00:52:13,643 --> 00:52:15,167
l don't believe that.
814
00:52:15,345 --> 00:52:19,475
Hey, listen, if l were a young guy who
was thinking about getting married,
815
00:52:19,649 --> 00:52:21,776
I'd be thinking about
some extra bucks.
816
00:52:21,952 --> 00:52:26,446
I'd be thinking about maybe a steady
job instead of being a deadbeat.
817
00:52:26,623 --> 00:52:27,885
Yeah?
818
00:52:28,058 --> 00:52:30,185
So l can become so involved
in making money
819
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,294
that l can totally ignore my family?
820
00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:35,658
All right, kid, so you got a point.
821
00:52:35,832 --> 00:52:39,996
But l just think that if you can make
money doing something you love...
822
00:52:40,170 --> 00:52:43,537
l mean, people just dream
about that kind of thing.
823
00:52:43,940 --> 00:52:45,635
Yeah?
824
00:52:46,209 --> 00:52:47,471
Well...
825
00:52:47,644 --> 00:52:49,942
How do we sell these?
l mean, if l want to.
826
00:52:50,113 --> 00:52:52,604
- Selling?
- Yeah. Maybe.
827
00:52:52,782 --> 00:52:55,717
- You're asking me about selling?
- Yeah.
828
00:52:55,885 --> 00:52:58,547
Let me tell you, kid.
You've come to the right guy.
829
00:52:58,722 --> 00:53:01,122
Let me tell you about selling.
We've got boards.
830
00:53:01,291 --> 00:53:03,691
All kinds of boards.
Long boards, tall boards...
831
00:53:38,795 --> 00:53:40,729
Michael, it's hard not to miss a woman
832
00:53:40,897 --> 00:53:43,388
who's been in a good mood
for 22 years.
833
00:53:43,566 --> 00:53:47,502
We gotta get together again.
I'm miserable without her.
834
00:53:47,670 --> 00:53:50,332
Boy, back in the old days,
it was really something.
835
00:53:50,507 --> 00:53:51,769
You know what we'd do?
836
00:53:51,941 --> 00:53:55,536
We'd throw the biggest bonfire
on the beach,
837
00:53:55,712 --> 00:53:58,510
slow dancing, moonlight.
838
00:53:58,915 --> 00:54:01,145
I'd kiss Annette up against a rock.
839
00:54:03,253 --> 00:54:04,652
We'd forgive each other.
840
00:54:04,821 --> 00:54:09,155
No worries, no problems.
No winners, no losers.
841
00:54:09,325 --> 00:54:10,656
That's it.
842
00:54:11,127 --> 00:54:14,426
That's it, let's do it.
A big beach bash!
843
00:54:16,132 --> 00:54:18,999
We've tried.
The harbor master we've got
844
00:54:19,169 --> 00:54:22,104
won't allow any permits after dark.
845
00:54:22,572 --> 00:54:24,233
No permit...
846
00:54:24,407 --> 00:54:27,240
- ...no party.
- Michael, Michael.
847
00:54:27,410 --> 00:54:30,868
l thought l taught you more
about salesmanship.
848
00:54:31,047 --> 00:54:34,915
Tomorrow, we go and see
that Nazi harbor master.
849
00:54:35,085 --> 00:54:36,712
We'll kick his butt.
850
00:54:37,754 --> 00:54:39,016
No.
851
00:54:39,189 --> 00:54:42,625
We see what a little
schmoozing can do.
852
00:55:19,028 --> 00:55:20,757
You're the harbor master, right?
853
00:55:20,930 --> 00:55:23,262
No, I'm the captain of The Love Boat.
854
00:55:23,433 --> 00:55:26,197
Of course I'm the harbor master,
and don't tell me
855
00:55:26,369 --> 00:55:28,394
you came here for a party permit.
856
00:55:28,771 --> 00:55:30,136
Can't we get a permit?
857
00:55:30,306 --> 00:55:32,467
l asked you not to tell me that.
858
00:55:33,610 --> 00:55:35,339
See? Come on.
859
00:55:35,512 --> 00:55:39,744
- Wait, wait. Flattery, flattery.
- Right.
860
00:55:41,484 --> 00:55:45,181
You know, sir, putting those ships
in those bottles,
861
00:55:45,355 --> 00:55:50,349
that's gotta take a lot of patience,
intelligence, skill and talent.
862
00:55:50,860 --> 00:55:54,023
l bought this for a buck
from a 9-year-old girl.
863
00:55:54,197 --> 00:55:57,325
Wow, shrewd. And thrifty too.
864
00:55:57,500 --> 00:55:59,934
May l say, you're uncanny?
865
00:56:00,103 --> 00:56:03,504
Yes. Well, l can't stand here all day
and chew the fat.
866
00:56:03,673 --> 00:56:05,937
The yacht races are about to begin.
867
00:56:06,109 --> 00:56:08,373
Interests, interests.
868
00:56:08,545 --> 00:56:10,206
All right, OK.
869
00:56:10,947 --> 00:56:12,778
So you like sailing, huh?
870
00:56:12,949 --> 00:56:16,908
Like sailing? Like sailing?
Sailing is my life.
871
00:56:17,086 --> 00:56:20,283
Would you believe that l own
the biggest yacht in the world?
872
00:56:20,456 --> 00:56:22,447
l find that hard to believe.
873
00:56:22,926 --> 00:56:25,451
Would you believe,
the biggest tugboat?
874
00:56:25,728 --> 00:56:27,127
l don't think so.
875
00:56:27,297 --> 00:56:29,026
How about a broken oar?
876
00:56:29,199 --> 00:56:34,193
Sir, if l could just convince you
that this party will be good, clean fun...
877
00:56:34,370 --> 00:56:37,703
No, no, there will be no beach parties.
878
00:56:37,874 --> 00:56:41,241
- Sorry, about that.
- Forget parties. We don't want a party.
879
00:56:41,411 --> 00:56:46,644
Yeah, we've polled all the seaside
communities trying to select the...
880
00:56:46,816 --> 00:56:48,147
The...
881
00:56:48,318 --> 00:56:50,252
...Harbor Master of the Year.
882
00:56:50,553 --> 00:56:52,043
l won?
883
00:56:52,222 --> 00:56:55,885
- Well...
- Missed it by that much?
884
00:56:56,059 --> 00:56:59,688
No. You won. Yeah.
885
00:56:59,862 --> 00:57:02,057
There's a trophy and a ceremony,
886
00:57:02,232 --> 00:57:06,032
and we'd like you to say a few words.
887
00:57:06,202 --> 00:57:08,796
Yes, well, l would like
to say a few words,
888
00:57:08,972 --> 00:57:13,033
but l don't know what to say
except it's about time.
889
00:57:28,358 --> 00:57:29,723
l can't believe it.
890
00:57:29,892 --> 00:57:32,588
l can't believe they'd have a party
and not invite us.
891
00:57:32,762 --> 00:57:36,129
l obviously haven't taught you a thing,
have l?
892
00:57:36,299 --> 00:57:39,029
You did try to teach me how
to get my hair real stiff.
893
00:57:39,202 --> 00:57:41,363
Then there was that
peanut-butter thing.
894
00:57:41,537 --> 00:57:44,233
No, I'm talking serious men things.
895
00:57:44,407 --> 00:57:46,034
This party is for us.
896
00:57:46,209 --> 00:57:50,168
Your father wants to make up.
He's sending me a signal.
897
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,548
He burns things?
898
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,731
I'm really glad you guys came.
899
00:58:22,945 --> 00:58:24,674
We haven't been introduced.
900
00:58:24,847 --> 00:58:26,747
I'm Annette.
901
00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:29,578
Sorry.
902
00:58:29,752 --> 00:58:31,777
It's nice to finally meet you, Michael.
903
00:58:31,954 --> 00:58:34,047
Yeah? Thanks.
904
00:58:34,590 --> 00:58:36,751
So you surf, Michael?
905
00:58:36,926 --> 00:58:38,450
Yeah.
906
00:58:40,697 --> 00:58:42,130
Anything else?
907
00:58:42,298 --> 00:58:43,697
No.
908
00:58:44,100 --> 00:58:46,500
Yeah, there's something else.
909
00:58:46,669 --> 00:58:49,035
l make and sell surfboards.
910
00:58:49,205 --> 00:58:50,695
Best boards on the beach.
911
00:58:50,873 --> 00:58:54,365
No, no. You make boards.
You don't sell them.
912
00:58:54,544 --> 00:58:56,535
That's too straight for you,
remember?
913
00:58:56,713 --> 00:58:59,443
Hey, l sold seven of them today.
914
00:59:00,049 --> 00:59:05,419
Yeah, your dad told me little
something about responsibility.
915
00:59:07,290 --> 00:59:11,659
If a guy's thinking about
getting married...
916
00:59:14,564 --> 00:59:19,399
You know, l really like yours
and Sandi's place,
917
00:59:19,569 --> 00:59:24,336
but l think I'm gonna want a little
privacy tonight, so I'm moving out.
918
00:59:24,507 --> 00:59:27,067
You can have the place to yourself.
919
00:59:28,411 --> 00:59:30,174
If you'll excuse me,
920
00:59:30,346 --> 00:59:33,144
I've got to find my husband.
921
00:59:33,316 --> 00:59:35,511
See you later, Mom.
922
00:59:37,186 --> 00:59:38,585
You...
923
00:59:38,755 --> 00:59:40,882
You look really pretty, Sandi.
924
00:59:41,057 --> 00:59:42,388
Thank you.
925
00:59:42,558 --> 00:59:46,050
Connie, l gotta tell you,
you got a great kid.
926
00:59:46,229 --> 00:59:48,163
Yeah.
927
00:59:48,331 --> 00:59:50,356
Guess l got lucky, huh?
928
00:59:50,533 --> 00:59:53,969
What lucky? Are you kidding?
Don't give me that bad-girl jazz.
929
00:59:54,137 --> 00:59:56,799
You got a good, clean heart.
You always have.
930
00:59:56,973 --> 00:59:58,873
Well, maybe.
931
00:59:59,041 --> 01:00:03,239
I'll tell you something. l sure would've
soiled it some for you, pal.
932
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:06,739
If it wasn't Annette, Connie,
933
01:00:06,916 --> 01:00:08,645
it'd have been you.
934
01:00:08,818 --> 01:00:10,718
- Thanks, Kahuna.
- Give me a smooch.
935
01:00:12,021 --> 01:00:15,252
I'm so glad you came home.
936
01:00:22,298 --> 01:00:24,892
How low can you go?
937
01:00:25,067 --> 01:00:28,525
Yeah, how low can you go?
938
01:00:30,506 --> 01:00:33,703
Hiya, hon! Some bash, huh?
939
01:00:33,876 --> 01:00:36,640
You're looking special tonight,
which is a coincidence,
940
01:00:36,813 --> 01:00:39,907
because l, too, am looking
special tonight.
941
01:00:40,082 --> 01:00:43,074
Troy, do you surf?
942
01:00:43,252 --> 01:00:45,743
Do l surf?
943
01:00:48,424 --> 01:00:50,949
Do l surf? I'm sure!
944
01:00:51,127 --> 01:00:53,652
Does Dolly Parton float?
945
01:00:55,465 --> 01:00:57,626
Does Oprah Winfrey eat?
946
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,633
Does Michael Jackson
have flammable hair?
947
01:01:00,803 --> 01:01:02,134
Do you ever shut up?
948
01:01:05,942 --> 01:01:07,603
Come on.
949
01:01:30,967 --> 01:01:34,835
Well, this is a terrific turnout
you've got here.
950
01:01:36,439 --> 01:01:40,307
- What time does the ceremony begin?
- What ceremony?
951
01:01:40,476 --> 01:01:43,604
Don't mind him. Surfer, boards.
Gets hit in the head a lot.
952
01:01:43,779 --> 01:01:45,542
Hey, you look great!
953
01:01:45,715 --> 01:01:47,683
Absolutely correct.
954
01:01:47,850 --> 01:01:49,681
You'd better tell him.
955
01:01:49,852 --> 01:01:53,913
- Again with the foot!
- Bridgette. Bridgette. Get Bridgette.
956
01:01:54,090 --> 01:01:57,150
Well, now, about the ceremony.
When does it begin?
957
01:01:57,326 --> 01:01:59,453
Well, you see, what happened was...
958
01:01:59,629 --> 01:02:01,221
- There is no ceremony.
- Well...
959
01:02:01,898 --> 01:02:05,197
- Exactly...
- No trophy?
960
01:02:05,368 --> 01:02:08,826
This whole thing is a hoax.
l hate it! l hate it a lot!
961
01:02:09,005 --> 01:02:11,098
l have been tricked,
and there is nothing,
962
01:02:11,274 --> 01:02:16,177
nothing that you can do to stop
the pain and disappointment.
963
01:02:16,345 --> 01:02:17,607
Hi.
964
01:02:17,780 --> 01:02:19,247
- This helps.
- I'm Bridgette,
965
01:02:19,415 --> 01:02:21,610
and you're too sexy for words.
966
01:02:21,784 --> 01:02:24,252
Why don't we go somewhere
dark and quiet
967
01:02:24,420 --> 01:02:27,218
but not too far for me
to scream for help.
968
01:02:27,390 --> 01:02:29,153
She's got asthma.
969
01:02:29,325 --> 01:02:31,293
What the hell, it's late.
970
01:03:11,367 --> 01:03:15,064
l can't believe it. My wife.
l just cannot believe it!
971
01:03:15,237 --> 01:03:17,762
l don't believe it either!
How do you explain it?
972
01:03:17,940 --> 01:03:21,774
After all that surfing,
her hair, perfectly dry.
973
01:03:21,944 --> 01:03:24,708
l made a bonfire. You're supposed
to know what it means
974
01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:26,142
when l burn stuff!
975
01:03:26,315 --> 01:03:29,682
l know what it means, and l thought
you know what it means too.
976
01:03:29,852 --> 01:03:31,945
Until l saw you hugging
that woman again.
977
01:03:32,121 --> 01:03:34,749
Oh, come on!
l wanna talk to you.
978
01:03:34,924 --> 01:03:40,521
Hey, wait a minute there, shorty.
979
01:03:40,696 --> 01:03:43,995
l don't think the lady
wants to go with you.
980
01:03:44,166 --> 01:03:47,260
Shorty? You calling me "shorty"?
981
01:03:47,436 --> 01:03:50,837
- You're in for a lot of trouble.
- I'm in a lot of trouble?
982
01:03:51,007 --> 01:03:52,304
Your shoelace is untied.
983
01:03:59,415 --> 01:04:02,009
How very, very mature.
984
01:04:02,184 --> 01:04:05,813
You are so stupid!
985
01:04:06,722 --> 01:04:09,088
Stupid? You wanna talk stupid?
986
01:04:09,592 --> 01:04:12,254
He's not even wearing shoes.
987
01:04:20,703 --> 01:04:23,365
All right, that's it. I've had enough.
988
01:04:23,539 --> 01:04:26,372
You can have him if you want him.
989
01:04:26,609 --> 01:04:29,373
I'd like to have him,
but l do have one rule, you know.
990
01:04:29,545 --> 01:04:31,809
l don't want anybody
that doesn't want me.
991
01:04:32,114 --> 01:04:35,015
Oh, please. Every time l turn around,
992
01:04:35,184 --> 01:04:38,176
he's got you cornered
like a Marine on R and R.
993
01:04:38,354 --> 01:04:41,050
Nettie, please.
You know as well as l do,
994
01:04:41,223 --> 01:04:45,557
l never get the good guy.
I'm the bad girl, remember?
995
01:04:45,728 --> 01:04:49,892
Besides, every time he's got me
cornered, he's talking about you.
996
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,133
This guy loves you so much.
997
01:04:54,303 --> 01:04:56,533
If l were a goody two-shoes like you,
998
01:04:56,706 --> 01:05:00,472
l would get my ass over there
and get that guy.
999
01:05:00,643 --> 01:05:04,773
You know, I've always sort
of wanted to be the bad girl.
1000
01:05:06,148 --> 01:05:08,309
Impossible.
1001
01:05:08,484 --> 01:05:10,315
But I'll tell you something.
1002
01:05:10,486 --> 01:05:14,354
You sure have wasted
an incredible pair of hooters.
1003
01:05:24,100 --> 01:05:27,433
You're looking pretty gloomy
there, tiger.
1004
01:05:29,238 --> 01:05:33,072
Well, from stupid to gloomy,
at least it's a step up.
1005
01:05:33,242 --> 01:05:35,403
Come on, honey.
1006
01:05:35,578 --> 01:05:40,413
According to my scorecard,
we're just about even now.
1007
01:05:41,784 --> 01:05:43,217
Did you say "even"?
1008
01:05:43,385 --> 01:05:46,013
Yeah. No winners.
1009
01:05:46,188 --> 01:05:49,453
- No losers.
- Yeah.
1010
01:05:50,059 --> 01:05:51,959
Annette.
1011
01:05:52,128 --> 01:05:54,562
You know, l been thinking about us.
1012
01:05:54,730 --> 01:05:57,790
All the good times
we used to have here.
1013
01:05:57,967 --> 01:06:02,097
l mean, we used to have a hell
of a lot of fun on this beach.
1014
01:06:02,404 --> 01:06:05,373
Oh, honey, we still can.
1015
01:06:14,850 --> 01:06:16,841
Come on, you guys!
1016
01:06:17,019 --> 01:06:19,783
That's enough. The show is over.
1017
01:06:30,466 --> 01:06:33,026
Well, everybody's heard
About the bird
1018
01:06:33,202 --> 01:06:35,067
Bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1019
01:06:35,237 --> 01:06:37,364
The bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1020
01:06:37,540 --> 01:06:39,872
Well, the bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1021
01:06:40,042 --> 01:06:42,203
The bird, bird, bird
The bird's the word
1022
01:06:42,378 --> 01:06:44,608
Well, the bird, bird
The bird is the word
1023
01:06:44,780 --> 01:06:47,010
Well, the bird, bird
The bird is the word
1024
01:06:47,283 --> 01:06:49,615
Well, the bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1025
01:06:49,785 --> 01:06:51,844
The bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1026
01:06:52,021 --> 01:06:54,251
Well, the bird, bird
Bird is the word
1027
01:06:54,423 --> 01:06:56,687
Well, don't you know
About the bird?
1028
01:06:56,859 --> 01:06:59,191
Well, everybody knows
That the bird is the word
1029
01:06:59,361 --> 01:07:01,659
Well, the bird, bird
The bird's the word
1030
01:07:03,165 --> 01:07:05,326
Surfing bird
1031
01:07:11,540 --> 01:07:13,474
Bird, bird, bird
The bird's the word
1032
01:07:13,642 --> 01:07:15,906
The bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1033
01:07:16,078 --> 01:07:18,546
Well, the bird, bird, bird
The bird is the word
1034
01:07:18,714 --> 01:07:20,579
The bird, bird, bird
Bird is the word
1035
01:07:20,749 --> 01:07:23,115
The bird, bird, bird
Well, the bird is the word
1036
01:07:23,285 --> 01:07:25,515
Well, the bird, bird
The bird is the word
1037
01:07:25,688 --> 01:07:27,883
The bird, bird, bird
The bird's the word
1038
01:07:28,057 --> 01:07:30,287
The bird, bird, bird
The bird's the word
1039
01:07:30,459 --> 01:07:32,723
The bird, bird, bird
The bird's the word
1040
01:07:32,895 --> 01:07:34,988
Well, don't you know
About the bird?
1041
01:07:35,164 --> 01:07:37,496
Well, everybody's talking
About the bird
1042
01:07:37,666 --> 01:07:40,157
Well, the bird, the bird
It's for sure the word
1043
01:07:45,107 --> 01:07:50,602
Surfing bird
1044
01:08:11,367 --> 01:08:13,460
Come on, what's the word?
1045
01:08:13,869 --> 01:08:16,030
Everybody!
1046
01:08:16,672 --> 01:08:18,401
Clap your hands.
1047
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:25,174
Gnarly!
1048
01:08:25,881 --> 01:08:27,746
Radical!
1049
01:08:28,651 --> 01:08:31,586
Surfing bird!
1050
01:08:31,954 --> 01:08:33,478
That's the word!
1051
01:08:37,893 --> 01:08:39,918
Don't you know
About the bird?
1052
01:08:40,095 --> 01:08:42,290
Everybody knows
That the bird is the word
1053
01:08:42,464 --> 01:08:47,458
Well, surfing bird
1054
01:08:52,708 --> 01:08:54,198
Hang ten!
1055
01:08:54,376 --> 01:08:56,606
Oh, wipeout!
1056
01:08:57,212 --> 01:08:59,203
Hang nine!
1057
01:08:59,381 --> 01:09:01,349
Tubular!
1058
01:09:01,517 --> 01:09:02,779
Hey, dude.
1059
01:09:04,219 --> 01:09:05,777
Bitchin'.
1060
01:09:10,392 --> 01:09:12,792
- Yeah!
- Bye, Pee-Wee!
1061
01:09:15,998 --> 01:09:18,967
Wipeout!
1062
01:09:19,735 --> 01:09:21,225
Boy, great dinner!
1063
01:09:21,403 --> 01:09:22,836
Here we go again.
1064
01:09:23,005 --> 01:09:25,473
Dinner and now the surf story.
1065
01:09:25,641 --> 01:09:29,304
l don't get it, dude.
All the time you've been here,
1066
01:09:29,478 --> 01:09:32,038
- you haven't been in the ocean once.
- Yeah.
1067
01:09:32,214 --> 01:09:34,114
No, l don't go in the ocean anymore.
1068
01:09:34,283 --> 01:09:37,343
Yeah, but you were the hottest surfer
on the beach. l mean,
1069
01:09:37,519 --> 01:09:40,283
- you were the Big Caboose.
- "Kahuna".
1070
01:09:40,456 --> 01:09:44,256
Which is extra cool because you look
like an Italian loan shark.
1071
01:09:44,660 --> 01:09:46,525
Well, it doesn't make any sense.
1072
01:09:46,695 --> 01:09:49,289
Nobody just decides not to surf again.
1073
01:09:49,465 --> 01:09:52,832
It's like deciding
not to breathe anymore.
1074
01:09:53,469 --> 01:09:56,461
You better tell them the surf story.
1075
01:09:58,374 --> 01:10:00,171
All right, l will.
1076
01:10:01,410 --> 01:10:04,072
l know all of you have heard
1077
01:10:04,246 --> 01:10:08,205
of the Humunga Cowabunga
From Down Under.
1078
01:10:08,450 --> 01:10:09,712
No.
1079
01:10:12,021 --> 01:10:13,682
Well, let me tell you what it is.
1080
01:10:13,856 --> 01:10:18,452
It's this huge, enormous wave
that rolls in from Australia,
1081
01:10:18,627 --> 01:10:22,085
- and it's so big that...
- Annette, Annette, Annette.
1082
01:10:22,464 --> 01:10:23,829
This is my story.
1083
01:10:23,999 --> 01:10:27,526
And you tell it well. Just speed it up.
1084
01:10:27,703 --> 01:10:29,967
OK, thanks.
1085
01:10:30,239 --> 01:10:34,232
Now, you see, this one particular day,
I'm out in the break.
1086
01:10:34,410 --> 01:10:37,140
The weather is absolutely crummy.
1087
01:10:37,479 --> 01:10:41,973
I'm all alone. Then suddenly,
black clouds start to gather.
1088
01:10:42,151 --> 01:10:44,346
l hear this rumble.
l look over my shoulder,
1089
01:10:44,887 --> 01:10:46,855
and l see, on the horizon,
1090
01:10:47,022 --> 01:10:51,823
the biggest mother wave
l have ever seen in my entire life.
1091
01:10:52,127 --> 01:10:56,188
He gets up on it, but it's too big.
It closes over him.
1092
01:10:56,365 --> 01:11:01,029
Smash! It's the biggest wipeout
anyone's ever seen.
1093
01:11:01,336 --> 01:11:03,804
He washes up on the beach,
1094
01:11:03,972 --> 01:11:06,236
and we thought he was dead.
1095
01:11:06,408 --> 01:11:08,899
He was in a coma for weeks,
1096
01:11:09,078 --> 01:11:11,410
and he never surfed again.
1097
01:11:11,580 --> 01:11:14,105
End of story.
1098
01:11:14,483 --> 01:11:16,280
Thanks, honey.
1099
01:11:16,452 --> 01:11:18,443
l think they get the point.
1100
01:11:18,620 --> 01:11:22,420
But that's because you tell it so well.
1101
01:11:42,177 --> 01:11:44,304
Eat sand lame-o's.
1102
01:11:44,480 --> 01:11:47,244
Bobby, you get down from there
right this instant!
1103
01:11:47,416 --> 01:11:52,149
My name isn't Bobby anymore. I've got
my gang name. Call me "Surly".
1104
01:11:52,654 --> 01:11:55,452
Shirley? Your name is Shirley?
1105
01:11:55,624 --> 01:11:57,888
Bobby is a tougher name than Shirley.
1106
01:11:58,060 --> 01:12:01,427
Not Shirley, it's Surly. Surly!
1107
01:12:01,597 --> 01:12:07,365
God. Man, I'm changing my
gang name. My new gang name is...
1108
01:12:10,772 --> 01:12:13,798
...Knife. Call me "Knife".
1109
01:12:14,109 --> 01:12:18,842
Nice? You want us
to call you "Nice"? OK.
1110
01:12:19,014 --> 01:12:21,448
Nice hairstyle, Nice.
1111
01:12:21,617 --> 01:12:25,075
It's not Nice. It's not Nice!
1112
01:12:25,254 --> 01:12:27,586
Man, just forget it. Call me "Bobby".
1113
01:12:27,823 --> 01:12:31,259
Bobby, you're getting mixed up
with the wrong crowd here.
1114
01:12:31,426 --> 01:12:34,327
- He's more than mixed up with us.
- That's right.
1115
01:12:34,496 --> 01:12:37,329
I'm president of the wrong crowd.
1116
01:12:37,499 --> 01:12:40,263
We elected him this morning
after we bought these bikes
1117
01:12:40,435 --> 01:12:42,960
- with your credit card.
- Yeah!
1118
01:12:44,940 --> 01:12:46,840
Hey, Zed.
1119
01:12:47,309 --> 01:12:48,970
You're not invited to this party.
1120
01:12:49,344 --> 01:12:52,336
Well, that's why I'm here,
septic breath.
1121
01:12:53,215 --> 01:12:54,614
Hold me back, Sandi.
1122
01:12:54,783 --> 01:12:56,910
I'm stopping this party!
1123
01:12:57,085 --> 01:12:59,883
You and your people
are on my beach!
1124
01:13:00,055 --> 01:13:03,513
- And l am God here, right?
- Yeah!
1125
01:13:06,628 --> 01:13:11,292
All right, all right, wait a second.
This has become a territorial dispute.
1126
01:13:11,466 --> 01:13:13,491
Why don't we settle it
like we used to do
1127
01:13:13,669 --> 01:13:15,500
back in the good old days, huh?
1128
01:13:15,671 --> 01:13:20,131
We'll surf for it.
Winner takes the beach.
1129
01:13:20,309 --> 01:13:24,006
- You get your best guy.
- That's me.
1130
01:13:24,379 --> 01:13:29,339
- Against our best guy.
- Yeah! Who's our best guy?
1131
01:13:29,985 --> 01:13:31,247
- You!
- Oh, yeah, right.
1132
01:13:32,921 --> 01:13:36,516
OK, cool.
Tomorrow morning, dude.
1133
01:13:36,758 --> 01:13:40,387
- I'm gonna thrash your butt.
- Yeah? Well, I'll tell you what.
1134
01:13:40,562 --> 01:13:45,693
- Until then, this is our beach!
- Yeah!
1135
01:13:45,867 --> 01:13:48,301
- Let's ride, guys!
- Yeah!
1136
01:13:56,144 --> 01:13:57,543
Buckle up!
1137
01:14:00,582 --> 01:14:05,019
Mike. Michael, you gotta
win big tomorrow.
1138
01:14:06,021 --> 01:14:08,353
What's the matter?
1139
01:14:10,659 --> 01:14:12,593
That must hurt.
1140
01:14:12,761 --> 01:14:14,888
It does!
1141
01:14:15,797 --> 01:14:19,699
- Well, now what are we gonna do?
- OK, folks.
1142
01:14:19,868 --> 01:14:23,235
This surf-off is going
to consist of three rides.
1143
01:14:23,405 --> 01:14:27,432
And the contestants are gonna
be judged by style and originality.
1144
01:14:27,876 --> 01:14:30,242
And the winner and their friends
are gonna have
1145
01:14:30,412 --> 01:14:32,710
the right to the entire beach.
1146
01:15:34,276 --> 01:15:39,873
Well, you must represent darkness,
evil and godless communism.
1147
01:15:40,282 --> 01:15:44,844
You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.
1148
01:15:51,827 --> 01:15:53,124
Where's Michael?
1149
01:15:53,362 --> 01:15:56,331
Well, due to an unfortunate
circumstance,
1150
01:15:56,498 --> 01:15:58,796
you're going to be competing
with Robin.
1151
01:16:03,271 --> 01:16:04,863
Robin?
1152
01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:06,632
She can't even swim!
1153
01:16:11,446 --> 01:16:13,107
Go figure.
1154
01:16:13,281 --> 01:16:18,184
This is gonna be a very,
very short contest.
1155
01:16:20,522 --> 01:16:21,921
No, it won't!
1156
01:16:22,424 --> 01:16:24,585
It's the Big Potato!
1157
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:26,955
That's "Kahuna"!
1158
01:16:35,570 --> 01:16:37,299
You're putting me on.
1159
01:16:37,472 --> 01:16:39,736
You're not a surfer anymore.
1160
01:16:39,908 --> 01:16:43,173
You live in Ohio. You sell Fords.
1161
01:16:43,345 --> 01:16:46,337
What are you gonna ride, a Mustang?
1162
01:16:47,549 --> 01:16:49,779
Oh, yeah?
1163
01:16:50,018 --> 01:16:53,078
Well, how about this?
1164
01:16:54,356 --> 01:16:55,880
That's not a board.
1165
01:16:56,057 --> 01:16:58,355
It's a pier.
1166
01:17:02,597 --> 01:17:05,293
Dad, you'll get killed on that.
A lot!
1167
01:17:05,467 --> 01:17:08,368
Bobby, get over here now,
and l mean now, mister,
1168
01:17:08,537 --> 01:17:10,471
or I'm gonna pull your
little lips off.
1169
01:17:10,639 --> 01:17:12,470
Yipes!
1170
01:17:13,842 --> 01:17:16,640
Now sit down and shut up!
1171
01:17:16,978 --> 01:17:19,572
You know, you're crazy, old man.
1172
01:17:19,748 --> 01:17:21,875
Oh, yeah? Well let me tell you a story.
1173
01:17:22,050 --> 01:17:23,847
You see, l used to be...
1174
01:17:24,019 --> 01:17:28,080
The primo surfer in the whole state,
the Big Kahuna.
1175
01:17:28,256 --> 01:17:30,952
He's ridden waves
they wouldn't photograph.
1176
01:17:31,226 --> 01:17:35,595
If he does this today, it'll give him
back his pride, his courage,
1177
01:17:35,764 --> 01:17:39,928
the respect of his son
and put the zip back in his marriage.
1178
01:17:40,101 --> 01:17:44,060
- Thanks, gang.
- Or he might die.
1179
01:17:44,372 --> 01:17:47,773
OK, let's see how good
you really are.
1180
01:17:47,943 --> 01:17:49,740
All right.
1181
01:17:49,911 --> 01:17:53,574
Let the games begin.
1182
01:17:53,849 --> 01:17:55,510
All right!
1183
01:18:05,994 --> 01:18:07,655
Are you sure you're OK?
1184
01:18:07,863 --> 01:18:09,125
I'm fine, honey.
1185
01:18:09,297 --> 01:18:13,461
All l need is a nice, few waves
out there that are nice and quiet and...
1186
01:18:16,304 --> 01:18:17,828
l gotta go home.
1187
01:18:18,006 --> 01:18:23,171
Oh, no. You can do it.
l know you can.
1188
01:18:24,579 --> 01:18:28,572
- Go get them, Kahuna.
- Hey, wait up!
1189
01:18:28,750 --> 01:18:30,342
- Hey!
- Careful.
1190
01:18:30,519 --> 01:18:32,851
Listen, you gotta remember:
1191
01:18:33,021 --> 01:18:36,650
Stay in your crouch
until the wave tells you to get up.
1192
01:18:36,825 --> 01:18:40,761
And lead the board.
Don't let the board lead you.
1193
01:18:42,163 --> 01:18:47,499
And l promise, I'll raise Bobby
as if he were my own son.
1194
01:18:47,669 --> 01:18:49,637
Go get them, Dad.
1195
01:18:50,272 --> 01:18:53,730
- Kahuna!
- Kahuna! Kahuna!
1196
01:19:22,704 --> 01:19:25,673
Stay in your pouch.
Stay in your crouch.
1197
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:29,503
Get to the close to the board?
What'd he say? l forgot!
1198
01:20:07,949 --> 01:20:10,281
l guess this was a bad idea.
1199
01:20:53,261 --> 01:20:57,357
Well, Jer, it was well-performed.
The ending was exciting and original.
1200
01:20:57,532 --> 01:20:59,363
l give it an eight. Thumbs up.
1201
01:20:59,534 --> 01:21:02,503
Well, as usual, Tony, l totally disagree.
1202
01:21:02,671 --> 01:21:06,835
l found the entire ride
stiff and uninspired.
1203
01:21:07,008 --> 01:21:09,499
The ending was anticlimactic.
1204
01:21:09,678 --> 01:21:13,774
l gave it a six. Thumbs down.
It made me wanna leave the beach.
1205
01:21:50,418 --> 01:21:54,218
If he won't take a wave, we can't win.
1206
01:21:54,389 --> 01:21:55,754
Well,
1207
01:21:55,924 --> 01:21:58,654
maybe he's just waiting
for a bigger one.
1208
01:21:58,827 --> 01:22:01,159
- Yeah!
- Yeah, that's it.
1209
01:22:01,329 --> 01:22:03,797
Yeah. Yeah.
1210
01:22:13,274 --> 01:22:15,435
Oh, no.
1211
01:22:21,683 --> 01:22:23,810
l don't believe it.
1212
01:22:24,319 --> 01:22:25,946
Oh, no.
1213
01:22:26,254 --> 01:22:29,417
Oh, my God. It can't be.
1214
01:22:29,591 --> 01:22:31,525
Mom, what is it?
1215
01:22:31,693 --> 01:22:36,289
- It's the Humunga Cowabunga...
- From Down Under.
1216
01:22:39,901 --> 01:22:41,892
Holy shit!
1217
01:22:44,239 --> 01:22:47,834
Dude! Come in!
You gonna get messed up!
1218
01:22:48,009 --> 01:22:50,170
You're gonna eat dirt from China.
1219
01:22:50,345 --> 01:22:51,710
Come in, dude!
1220
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:53,814
Dude, you're crazy!
1221
01:22:53,982 --> 01:22:55,415
You're gonna get killed!
1222
01:22:55,583 --> 01:22:56,914
I've gotta go after him!
1223
01:22:57,085 --> 01:22:59,815
- No, Michael, you can't!
- He'll get wiped!
1224
01:22:59,988 --> 01:23:01,956
But I'm the reason he's out there!
1225
01:23:02,123 --> 01:23:04,421
Somebody do something!
1226
01:23:23,978 --> 01:23:25,912
It's too late!
1227
01:23:29,184 --> 01:23:32,585
Cowabunga!
1228
01:23:51,606 --> 01:23:53,437
Go, Pop, go!
1229
01:23:57,946 --> 01:24:00,176
Come on, Dad! Come on!
1230
01:24:12,227 --> 01:24:15,390
Yeah! Yeah!
1231
01:24:20,001 --> 01:24:22,469
Come on!
1232
01:24:24,706 --> 01:24:26,571
All right!
1233
01:24:43,224 --> 01:24:46,523
What a guy! l could've done that.
1234
01:24:46,694 --> 01:24:49,720
That's the ride we hoped for
on the Big Kahuna's comeback.
1235
01:24:49,898 --> 01:24:53,595
- l give that ride an unqualified ten!
- l couldn't agree more, Tony.
1236
01:24:53,768 --> 01:24:55,326
The Big Kahuna is back.
1237
01:24:55,503 --> 01:24:59,200
l also gave him a ten on that last run.
1238
01:24:59,374 --> 01:25:01,103
Well, folks, here you have it.
1239
01:25:01,276 --> 01:25:08,148
- The winner and still the Big Crapola!
- "Kahuna"!
1240
01:25:12,186 --> 01:25:16,555
Gee, Dad turned out to be pretty cool
and was my new hero.
1241
01:25:16,724 --> 01:25:18,885
Mom was even happier than usual,
1242
01:25:19,060 --> 01:25:22,962
and Sandi and Michael decided
on a Christmas wedding.
1243
01:25:23,531 --> 01:25:25,829
l decided a hair helmet
was the look for me.
1244
01:25:26,000 --> 01:25:28,025
Thank you.
1245
01:25:30,171 --> 01:25:33,140
And who said you can never
go home again?
1246
01:25:33,641 --> 01:25:35,541
It wasn't me.
1247
01:25:56,297 --> 01:26:00,233
- Go, Zed, go! Oh, yeah!
- All right, Zed!
1248
01:26:00,568 --> 01:26:04,163
Do you worry about tomorrow?
1249
01:26:04,339 --> 01:26:07,934
Will it be as good as yesterday?
1250
01:26:08,109 --> 01:26:11,704
l just look in your direction
1251
01:26:11,879 --> 01:26:15,474
Then I'm glad for what we have today
1252
01:26:15,650 --> 01:26:19,051
What l like about a love song
1253
01:26:19,220 --> 01:26:23,088
ls that you never can wear it out
1254
01:26:23,257 --> 01:26:26,693
You and l are like a love song
1255
01:26:26,861 --> 01:26:30,456
In the end, we always work it out
1256
01:26:30,631 --> 01:26:33,998
So we go on forever
1257
01:26:34,435 --> 01:26:36,699
So let the world go crazy
1258
01:26:36,871 --> 01:26:39,635
We never had this much fun
on the island l was...
1259
01:26:39,807 --> 01:26:41,900
l don't suppose you want
to hear about it.
1260
01:26:42,076 --> 01:26:45,477
I'd love to. It sounds fascinating.
1261
01:26:46,948 --> 01:26:48,973
And again and again
1262
01:26:50,918 --> 01:26:54,217
Some things live forever
1263
01:26:54,389 --> 01:26:56,823
And again and again
1264
01:26:58,426 --> 01:27:00,951
We live on
1265
01:27:15,777 --> 01:27:19,543
We have made a million memories
1266
01:27:19,714 --> 01:27:23,172
Each a shining diamond in my mind
1267
01:27:23,351 --> 01:27:26,980
What l like about the future
1268
01:27:27,155 --> 01:27:30,716
Are the memories
That we're gonna find
1269
01:27:30,892 --> 01:27:34,555
So we go on forever
1270
01:27:35,696 --> 01:27:38,665
So that's the whole story.
l just thank God it's all over.
1271
01:27:38,833 --> 01:27:40,767
l think you're very brave.
1272
01:27:40,935 --> 01:27:42,869
l know l just met you,
but l love you.
1273
01:27:43,037 --> 01:27:47,940
- Would you be my main squeeze?
- l never thought you'd ask.
1274
01:27:49,043 --> 01:27:52,535
- We've got to shove off, little buddy.
- No, not you. Not now!
1275
01:27:52,713 --> 01:27:54,408
I'm sorry, it's time to go.
1276
01:27:54,582 --> 01:27:57,517
Now, we'll be back real soon.
It's only a three-hour tour.
1277
01:27:57,685 --> 01:28:00,347
It's never a three-hour tour.
1278
01:28:00,521 --> 01:28:03,684
Come on, little buddy, let's go.
1279
01:28:04,725 --> 01:28:08,320
- l still remember, baby
- Some things live forever
1280
01:28:08,496 --> 01:28:12,023
l still remember
1281
01:28:12,200 --> 01:28:16,967
- l still remember, baby
- Some things live forever
1282
01:28:17,805 --> 01:28:21,605
Are we the corniest couple
you've ever seen or what?
94789