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1
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:21,608
That's Gene Krupa on the drums,
folks. And if you believe that....
2
00:02:21,783 --> 00:02:26,049
No, that's yours truly on the skins.
Sometimes wish l was Gene Krupa.
3
00:02:26,721 --> 00:02:30,714
-l think l was born in a different era.
-Robert Crane. Robert--
4
00:02:30,892 --> 00:02:31,993
Enough! This is KNX-CBS, 1 0 70
on the AM dial, 93.1 on the FM dial.
5
00:02:31,993 --> 00:02:37,295
Enough! This is KNX-CBS, 1 0 70
on the AM dial, 93.1 on the FM dial.
6
00:02:37,465 --> 00:02:41,868
lt is beautiful in Hollywood,
they tell me. 72 degrees outside...
7
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:44,163
...9:25 on the KNX clock--
8
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:47,535
Yes, Jack! l know!
l'll get to him.
9
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,940
That's Jackie Chapman,
our engineer, knocking.
10
00:02:51,112 --> 00:02:54,604
Jack will be appearing later
today at the Ralphs market...
11
00:02:54,782 --> 00:02:57,979
...in the fresh fruit section,
if l'm not mistaken.
12
00:02:58,686 --> 00:03:00,745
As regular listeners know,
from time to time...
13
00:03:00,922 --> 00:03:04,756
...we have special guests,
and today, somebody truly special.
14
00:03:04,959 --> 00:03:08,656
Mr. Clayton Moore,
the Lone Ranger, right over here!
15
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:11,321
And l've always wanted
to do this with you--
16
00:03:11,599 --> 00:03:16,093
-Hi-yo, Silver. Away!
-l never get tired of that.
17
00:03:16,270 --> 00:03:19,296
Do people recognize you
when you're out in public?
18
00:03:19,507 --> 00:03:21,031
No. No, not really.
19
00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:24,268
Can we get you to expose
yourself today on radio?
20
00:03:24,445 --> 00:03:28,040
-Mask off? Reveal your identity?
-For you, Bob, sure.
21
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:32,345
Coming up next, a KNX first. We've
got the Lone Ranger, and he's naked!
22
00:03:33,020 --> 00:03:35,386
-Don't tell Tonto.
-No, of course not.
23
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:39,219
First, a word from our sponsor,
Lucky Strike cigarettes.
24
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:54,697
I always wantedto make an impression.
25
00:03:54,876 --> 00:03:57,845
You know the type.There's one in every class.
26
00:03:58,012 --> 00:04:02,847
The cutup. Eddie Cantor once toldme likability is 90% of the battle...
27
00:04:03,017 --> 00:04:07,113
...and he was right.Well, that's me.
28
00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:10,886
I'm a likable guy.
29
00:04:13,528 --> 00:04:14,893
Bob, sit!
30
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,560
Please?
31
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:21,258
l'm emceeing a lunch in an hour.
32
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,198
Humor me.
33
00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:26,829
-Those the contracts l need to sign?
-Sit!
34
00:04:30,344 --> 00:04:33,279
Your ears would've been
burning this morning.
35
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,716
l had breakfast with
the boys from CBS.
36
00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:38,681
Got something very interesting.
37
00:04:38,853 --> 00:04:41,481
This could be what you're looking for.
38
00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:44,286
-What?
-A television series!
39
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:48,417
-Goodbye, Lenny.
-Listen to me. Stop running, will you?
40
00:04:48,629 --> 00:04:51,598
l thought you were gonna get me
a Jack Lemmon role.
41
00:04:51,799 --> 00:04:56,327
A feature. lt's a critical time for me.
l need something big.
42
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,131
l can be Jack Lemmon.
43
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:01,035
You are Jack Lemmon.
And Jack Benny.
44
00:05:01,242 --> 00:05:03,403
-Then get me a role.
-That's what this is!
45
00:05:03,578 --> 00:05:07,105
Lemmon and Benny combined.
They want you for the lead.
46
00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:09,909
Just promise me
you'll keep an open mind.
47
00:05:10,084 --> 00:05:12,211
You ready?
48
00:05:12,787 --> 00:05:15,278
lt's set in a German prison camp.
49
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,327
-lt's a drama?
-No! That-- lt's a comedy.
50
00:05:21,128 --> 00:05:23,096
Oh, with the funny Nazis.
51
00:05:25,099 --> 00:05:28,660
-lt's a POW camp.
-With a laugh track?
52
00:05:28,836 --> 00:05:33,330
Hey. This is first-class
all the way, my friend.
53
00:05:35,076 --> 00:05:37,237
Bing Crosby Productions doing it.
54
00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:39,971
Sounds like it could be
a career-killer.
55
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,151
Just read it?
56
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:57,293
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died and was buried.
57
00:05:57,498 --> 00:06:01,491
He descended to the dead.
On the third day, he rose again.
58
00:06:01,702 --> 00:06:06,537
He ascended into heaven and is
seated at the right hand of the Father.
59
00:06:06,707 --> 00:06:11,701
He will come again to judge
the living and the dead.
60
00:06:11,946 --> 00:06:15,438
-You need a little bit of this.
-There you go, Bobby.
61
00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:19,684
l think it's perfect for me.
l mean this character, Hogan...
62
00:06:19,854 --> 00:06:23,415
...he's quick on his toes,
he's hip, he's a con artist.
63
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:26,458
l think it's what l've been
working toward my whole career.
64
00:06:26,661 --> 00:06:29,630
You've been working
towards Holocaust comedy?
65
00:06:29,797 --> 00:06:33,528
-Anne!
-What, Bob?
66
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,376
Not in front of the children.
They look up to me.
67
00:06:48,549 --> 00:06:51,575
They're small.
They look up to everyone.
68
00:06:52,386 --> 00:06:56,447
-That's funny. l gotta use that.
-Bob, for 1 5 years...
69
00:06:56,624 --> 00:07:01,061
...l've followed you from job to job.
l'm your number one supporter.
70
00:07:01,228 --> 00:07:04,823
l believe in you. But you expect
me to keep quiet when l see you...
71
00:07:04,999 --> 00:07:08,730
...about to do something
that could ruin your career?
72
00:07:24,552 --> 00:07:26,281
No, not me! Oh, no!
73
00:07:29,423 --> 00:07:31,391
Help! Help!
74
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:33,253
Those are the right words....
75
00:07:33,427 --> 00:07:36,396
All right, honey. You're right.
76
00:07:36,564 --> 00:07:37,963
Family comes first.
77
00:07:38,165 --> 00:07:41,498
l guess it's more important
than some TV show.
78
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,296
You really like the script?
79
00:07:43,471 --> 00:07:46,440
lt runs circles around
the other stuff l've been offered.
80
00:07:46,607 --> 00:07:47,835
l know.
81
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,374
l read it.
82
00:07:49,543 --> 00:07:51,602
You did?
83
00:07:54,115 --> 00:07:56,208
lt's funny.
84
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,547
Are you saying what
l think you're saying?
85
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,846
You'll quit KNX?
86
00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:07,617
First l'll do both, like we did on
Donna Reed, but if it works....
87
00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:09,558
Well, Donna Reed was part-time.
88
00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:12,927
l just hope l can pull it off.
Hogan's in almost every scene.
89
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:18,037
You worry. You always worry,
but in the end you succeed.
90
00:08:18,205 --> 00:08:20,173
Easy for you to say.
91
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,675
Hello, Henry.
Now, we're all professionals here.
92
00:08:28,849 --> 00:08:32,410
You've all been working on your
characters, each with his own slant.
93
00:08:32,620 --> 00:08:35,054
We have to keep in mind
this is a gang comedy.
94
00:08:35,222 --> 00:08:38,783
lt's funny to the extent the gang
is funny. Like an athletic team.
95
00:08:38,959 --> 00:08:41,553
A great quarterback
without his offensive line...
96
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,196
...ain't gonna complete a pass.
97
00:08:43,364 --> 00:08:45,491
Did you hear about the
Greek quarterback...
98
00:08:45,666 --> 00:08:47,759
...who hated to leave
his buddies behind?
99
00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:51,170
l think we get the point.
100
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:54,333
Let's pick up with Klink and Hogan.
101
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:57,636
The great disciplinarian...
102
00:08:57,812 --> 00:09:01,646
...knows when to reward
and when to punish.
103
00:09:01,816 --> 00:09:05,479
Now, my leniency
is a legend, right?
104
00:09:05,686 --> 00:09:08,985
Wrong. You've got a reputation
to uphold, colonel.
105
00:09:09,156 --> 00:09:12,091
You know that. l mean,
you're running the most brutal...
106
00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:13,851
...prison camp in all of Germany!
107
00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:15,050
Okay.
108
00:09:15,229 --> 00:09:18,323
Let's back up.
Bob, don't try so hard.
109
00:09:18,532 --> 00:09:21,126
You're the hero of the show.
lt's named after you.
110
00:09:21,302 --> 00:09:25,295
And heroes don't try and be
heroes, they simply are. Okay?
111
00:09:25,473 --> 00:09:27,338
Let's do it again. Same place.
112
00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:30,533
The great disciplinarian knows--
113
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:34,976
--when to reward and when to punish.
Now, my leniency is a legend, right?
114
00:09:35,182 --> 00:09:36,843
-Wrong.
-What do you mean?
115
00:09:37,017 --> 00:09:39,542
You've got a reputation
to uphold, colonel.
116
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,688
You are running the most brutal
prison camp in all of Germany.
117
00:09:42,857 --> 00:09:44,882
-l am?
-ln the world! You're ranked third...
118
00:09:45,059 --> 00:09:47,186
-...behind Devil's lsland and Alcatraz.
-Good.
119
00:09:47,394 --> 00:09:49,225
And you're the toughest
Kommandant.
120
00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:53,856
ln the last war it was ''Kill the Kaiser.''
Today it's ''Kill Klink.''
121
00:09:54,034 --> 00:09:57,993
''Kill Klink.'' l like that.
122
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,752
Mel Rosen. l do a little radio show
out of the Quad Cities.
123
00:10:16,924 --> 00:10:19,358
l've actually heard
good things about that.
124
00:10:19,527 --> 00:10:23,019
-Coming from you, that's high praise.
-You gotta give me a tape for that.
125
00:10:23,197 --> 00:10:25,392
-Something to drink?
-A grapefruit juice.
126
00:10:25,566 --> 00:10:29,024
-With vodka?
-No, straight. Last of the straight men.
127
00:10:29,203 --> 00:10:31,637
l'll have another Tom Collins.
128
00:10:31,805 --> 00:10:35,434
Doing a show on the new TV season.
Never pass up one of these junkets.
129
00:10:35,609 --> 00:10:38,578
-Well, l'm with you there.
-So this new show--
130
00:10:38,746 --> 00:10:40,714
l loved you on Donna Reed,
by the way.
131
00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:43,315
lt's set in a concentration camp.
A comedy?
132
00:10:43,484 --> 00:10:45,281
Prisoner of war camp.
133
00:10:45,452 --> 00:10:50,116
Yeah, it's got all your typical comedy
elements: Gestapo, police dogs.
134
00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:52,191
So l guess if you
liked World War ll...
135
00:10:52,359 --> 00:10:55,624
...you're gonna love Hogan's Heroes.
136
00:10:57,698 --> 00:11:02,067
-No, let's not--
-Actually, l got what l want.
137
00:11:02,236 --> 00:11:05,694
Mel, what--?
l thought you were a fellow entertainer.
138
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:08,137
l'm also a Jew.
139
00:11:08,776 --> 00:11:11,006
lt's the same thing.
140
00:11:25,426 --> 00:11:26,415
Thank you.
141
00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:28,687
Are one of those for me?
142
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,660
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
143
00:11:32,499 --> 00:11:34,330
Bob! Look what l found.
144
00:11:34,501 --> 00:11:36,264
-Hiya.
-Hiya.
145
00:11:36,437 --> 00:11:41,306
This TV reviewer, he just--
l don't mean to offend anybody.
146
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:43,306
Forget it. Do you see this spread?
147
00:11:43,477 --> 00:11:45,468
Yeah, l gotta hand it to CBS.
148
00:11:45,646 --> 00:11:47,136
They did it for one reason:
149
00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:51,148
The affiliates have seen the pilot.
They love it.
150
00:11:51,318 --> 00:11:55,186
-You play Hogan, don't you?
-l sure do. You want an autograph?
151
00:11:55,356 --> 00:11:58,348
-l've got autographs.
-Darling, you just stop that.
152
00:11:58,525 --> 00:12:00,493
Mr. Crane is a happily married man.
153
00:12:00,661 --> 00:12:05,792
You wanted to see my room, right?
lt's right this way.
154
00:12:08,469 --> 00:12:12,803
Did you catch the radio show
this morning? Guess who was on.
155
00:12:13,474 --> 00:12:16,966
Were you listening?
Johnny Winters.
156
00:12:17,344 --> 00:12:21,041
l swear, he's gotta be the funniest
human being ever born.
157
00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:24,178
Honey?
158
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,789
What's wrong?
159
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:43,535
Why do we have shady magazines
hidden in our garage?
160
00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:47,833
Those? Those are....
161
00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:52,172
-You know, photography magazines.
-Gent? Caught?
162
00:12:53,414 --> 00:12:56,076
l'm a photo nut, Annie, so....
163
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,242
Nature Girls 1 965?
164
00:13:01,422 --> 00:13:03,515
They're harmless.
165
00:13:04,525 --> 00:13:07,790
-No wonder you never look at me.
-Would you stop that?
166
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:13,957
Listen, l'm out the door every morning
at 5:30. l'm not home until after dark.
167
00:13:14,134 --> 00:13:16,659
You see how hard l'm working?
168
00:13:18,605 --> 00:13:23,508
-Are you seeing another woman?
-Absolutely not.
169
00:13:25,479 --> 00:13:28,107
l want those magazines
out of the house.
170
00:13:28,282 --> 00:13:31,410
Yeah, l'll throw them away.
171
00:13:31,585 --> 00:13:35,919
-l've seen them before. l just ignored it.
-All right, l get the message.
172
00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:39,651
Bad enough l've gotta hide them
like some teenager.
173
00:13:39,827 --> 00:13:41,692
Well, what did you have in mind?
174
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,592
Putting them on the coffee table
for our guests to see?
175
00:13:44,765 --> 00:13:46,392
l apologize.
176
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:50,435
-Maybe we should see Father Donnelly.
-No, it's our business.
177
00:13:50,604 --> 00:13:53,437
Family business.
We'll keep it at home.
178
00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:57,475
You're never home. l just thought
when you started shooting Hogan's...
179
00:13:57,644 --> 00:14:03,514
-...that this would change things.
-lt will, darling. Trust me. lt will.
180
00:14:05,185 --> 00:14:08,245
Hogan's Heroes premieredSeptember 1 7, 1 965...
181
00:14:08,422 --> 00:14:10,356
...8:30 on Friday night.
182
00:14:10,524 --> 00:14:12,788
When the Nielsen ratingswere released...
183
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,623
...Hogan's, out of 98 prime-time shows,finished number five.
184
00:14:16,797 --> 00:14:19,459
Of the new shows,it was number one.
185
00:14:19,633 --> 00:14:22,124
I've always hadan extraordinary amount of luck.
186
00:14:22,302 --> 00:14:24,566
Being in the right placeat the right time.
187
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:28,435
There was some controversythe first few months, but it died away.
188
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:31,476
Mondays we blocked the show.Tuesdays we did exteriors.
189
00:14:31,645 --> 00:14:34,170
Wednesdays and Thursdayswe did interiors.
190
00:14:34,348 --> 00:14:37,340
Friday we'd have a table readingof the next week's script.
191
00:14:37,518 --> 00:14:40,954
Weekends we called each otherand went over everything. I loved it.
192
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:45,581
Give me a vacation,and three days later I'm going crazy.
193
00:14:48,629 --> 00:14:50,096
Not another power outage.
194
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,700
No, sir. l'm installing Richard's
new high-fidelity unit.
195
00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:57,234
-ln his trailer here?
-l can wire anything.
196
00:14:57,404 --> 00:15:00,168
-Yeah?
-You got a second?
197
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:02,706
Let me show you something.
198
00:15:07,347 --> 00:15:09,907
l designed this myself. Listen.
199
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:17,851
Pretty groovy, huh?
200
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:22,023
-l'm Bob Crane.
-John. John Carpenter.
201
00:15:31,672 --> 00:15:34,266
Well, l've never been much into hi-fi.
202
00:15:34,441 --> 00:15:37,001
-Photography's always been my thing.
-l'm with you.
203
00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:39,873
lf you like photography,
you'll love VTRs.
204
00:15:40,047 --> 00:15:42,015
-''VTRs''?
-Videotape recorders.
205
00:15:42,182 --> 00:15:47,586
Magnetic coding, like audio tape.
Same principle, only with pictures.
206
00:15:47,754 --> 00:15:50,985
Sony, Ampex, Panasonic,
they're all developing VTRs.
207
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,922
-Hi, Bob.
-Hey, Robert. So this is like your...?
208
00:15:54,094 --> 00:15:56,790
l sort of freelance.
l work with Sonycom from Japan...
209
00:15:56,964 --> 00:15:59,899
...helping them introduce
helical-scan VTRs.
210
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,831
l sold Dawson the third VTR
in the U.S.
211
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,734
-Sold one to LBJ, Elvis.
-Yeah?
212
00:16:06,907 --> 00:16:10,707
Showed him how to use it. Nice cat.
213
00:16:11,411 --> 00:16:13,572
Back in 1 5 minutes, Bob.
214
00:16:13,747 --> 00:16:16,614
Shoot, gotta run.
215
00:16:16,783 --> 00:16:18,683
-Nice meeting you.
-All right.
216
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,683
Carpenter.
217
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:24,616
-''FBl.''
-Full-blooded lndian.
218
00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:30,923
Well, actually, half-blooded.
Here, take my card.
219
00:16:31,098 --> 00:16:33,726
Dawson and l are hooking up
over at Salome's later...
220
00:16:33,901 --> 00:16:36,165
...if you want to come and join us.
221
00:16:36,336 --> 00:16:40,466
-l actually prom--
-You'd like it. lt's a nice joint.
222
00:16:40,641 --> 00:16:42,973
-House band. Strippers.
-Well....
223
00:16:43,143 --> 00:16:45,202
Hey, mate. How's it coming?
224
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,576
You're all set up, big daddy.
Eight watts of pumping power.
225
00:16:48,749 --> 00:16:53,743
Hear that? l just got
the best bloody hi-fi on this lot.
226
00:16:54,488 --> 00:16:56,285
l gotta run.
227
00:16:56,456 --> 00:16:58,185
Salome's.
228
00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:32,355
-Colonel! How's it hanging?
-Can't complain.
229
00:17:32,526 --> 00:17:34,357
Glad you could make it.
230
00:17:34,528 --> 00:17:38,089
Richard. l brought you
a call sheet for tomorrow.
231
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:42,702
l already got one.
Let me get you something to drink.
232
00:17:43,670 --> 00:17:48,733
-l'll have a grapefruit juice.
-Come on, Bob, don't be such a prick.
233
00:17:52,212 --> 00:17:53,907
Miss Kitty.
234
00:18:03,924 --> 00:18:07,655
Miss Kitty! Let's give her a big
Hollywood hand, ladies and gentlemen.
235
00:18:12,766 --> 00:18:15,860
We'll take a break,
let the band drain their nozzles...
236
00:18:16,036 --> 00:18:18,630
...so be right back.
237
00:18:22,242 --> 00:18:24,767
Terrific dancer, baby.
238
00:18:28,682 --> 00:18:31,446
l love what you do.
239
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,182
-Colonel Hogan?
-Can we help you?
240
00:18:36,356 --> 00:18:39,553
-You want an autograph?
-Yeah, sure, thanks. Okay.
241
00:18:39,726 --> 00:18:42,991
My name's Nickie D.
l'm the drummer here.
242
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:46,929
You're on that show too, aren't you?
You play the British guy.
243
00:18:48,235 --> 00:18:52,535
l used to listen to your show every
morning back when l had a real job.
244
00:18:52,706 --> 00:18:55,607
Was that really you
playing the drums on the radio?
245
00:18:55,776 --> 00:19:00,304
-Sure it was. You think l was faking?
-You did a lot of kidding.
246
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,214
Not about that.
247
00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:07,015
You want to sit in?
248
00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:10,451
As a special treat,
sitting in on drums...
249
00:19:10,624 --> 00:19:15,061
...Colonel Robert Hogan from the hit
TV series Hogan's Heroes, Bob Crane!
250
00:19:15,662 --> 00:19:18,187
Come on, let's hear it!
251
00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:21,927
Kommandant, bring out
the little strudel. What do you say?
252
00:19:22,102 --> 00:19:24,297
Come on! Angela, from Lubbock!
253
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,990
Thanks for meeting me like this, Father.
lt must seem unusual.
254
00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:54,190
Not at all.
We haven't seen you in a while.
255
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:57,530
l'm sorry. l'll be at Mass tomorrow
with Anne and the kids.
256
00:19:57,704 --> 00:20:00,036
This TV show,
you wouldn't believe the hours.
257
00:20:00,207 --> 00:20:01,834
Don't be so hard on yourself.
258
00:20:02,008 --> 00:20:06,809
Everybody's life has its unique
demands. l'm glad you called.
259
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:12,518
-Thank you.
-So, what's on your mind?
260
00:20:12,686 --> 00:20:15,382
Just the show, you know.
We work late.
261
00:20:16,022 --> 00:20:19,514
When you get off,
you're all sort of jazzed up.
262
00:20:19,693 --> 00:20:23,891
So l've been playing my drums,
you know, just to sort of wind down.
263
00:20:24,064 --> 00:20:26,931
l've been playing
at various, you know...
264
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:29,091
...strip clubs.
265
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:30,930
Joints.
266
00:20:34,975 --> 00:20:38,536
Would you be more comfortable
in the confessional?
267
00:20:39,679 --> 00:20:41,840
Just wanted to talk.
268
00:20:42,649 --> 00:20:45,880
Of course. Of course.
So does Anne know?
269
00:20:46,052 --> 00:20:48,646
About the clubs? No.
270
00:20:48,822 --> 00:20:52,553
No, but l think
it's obvious l've been...
271
00:20:52,726 --> 00:20:54,216
l can't believe it!
272
00:20:54,394 --> 00:20:56,191
...coming home later.
273
00:20:58,098 --> 00:20:59,793
Mr. Crane, l am such a fan.
274
00:20:59,966 --> 00:21:03,094
-l just wondered, could l--?
-A picture together? You bet.
275
00:21:03,270 --> 00:21:04,931
And your name is?
276
00:21:05,105 --> 00:21:07,403
-Oh, l forgot.
-You forgot your name?
277
00:21:07,574 --> 00:21:10,008
-Not that. Julie.
-Julie, all right.
278
00:21:10,177 --> 00:21:12,941
Right over here. ''Schmile.''
279
00:21:15,081 --> 00:21:16,673
-There you go.
-Thank you.
280
00:21:16,850 --> 00:21:18,750
Okay. Thank you.
281
00:21:21,922 --> 00:21:24,413
Sorry about that, Father.
282
00:21:24,591 --> 00:21:26,218
Where were we?
283
00:21:27,794 --> 00:21:29,557
You and Anne.
284
00:21:32,399 --> 00:21:35,891
lt's not easy to resist temptation.
285
00:21:36,069 --> 00:21:40,233
One has to remove oneself
from the occasion of sin.
286
00:21:40,407 --> 00:21:42,568
You can't keep--
287
00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:49,080
Listen. l know several musicians.
We play from time to time.
288
00:21:49,249 --> 00:21:51,877
l'm no Bill Evans,
but l can keep up on keyboard.
289
00:21:52,052 --> 00:21:55,988
Maybe we should
play together sometime.
290
00:21:58,124 --> 00:21:59,819
After work.
291
00:21:59,993 --> 00:22:02,655
Thank you. Yeah, that's....
292
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:05,889
lt's a good idea.
293
00:22:59,786 --> 00:23:02,084
-l love what you do.
-Thank you.
294
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:05,224
Bob? Bob.
295
00:23:06,826 --> 00:23:08,885
That was great.
296
00:23:10,063 --> 00:23:12,623
You don't remember, do you?
297
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,994
l'll give you a hint.
298
00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:22,638
-Carpenter. John Carpenter.
-Right.
299
00:23:22,809 --> 00:23:25,243
-How are they hanging?
-Pretty tight, my man.
300
00:23:25,412 --> 00:23:28,142
l've been looking for you.
This is John Carpenter.
301
00:23:28,315 --> 00:23:31,011
He's like the James Bond
of video nuts.
302
00:23:31,184 --> 00:23:35,211
Anybody wants the new stuff,
they gotta talk to him. This is Elaine.
303
00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:37,913
-What a pretty name.
-Thank you.
304
00:23:38,091 --> 00:23:40,719
-And Emily.
-Pleasure.
305
00:23:40,894 --> 00:23:44,489
So, what's happening?
Where's the action tonight?
306
00:23:44,664 --> 00:23:48,122
We were talking about grabbing
a bite to eat over at Arthur J's.
307
00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:50,769
No, no, no, let's go to my pad.
308
00:23:50,937 --> 00:23:55,431
You wouldn't believe this new equipment
they sent me. lt'll blow your mind.
309
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:59,677
Light hits this layer and stores
a charged density pattern on it...
310
00:23:59,846 --> 00:24:03,714
...which is scanned with an electron
beam. So the resulting signal...
311
00:24:03,883 --> 00:24:07,410
...is sent by cable
to where it's recorded on tape.
312
00:24:07,587 --> 00:24:11,284
The helical-scan method of the VTR
issues proper magnetic coding...
313
00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:13,926
...so picture quality is always secure.
314
00:24:15,261 --> 00:24:18,287
-l've never seen anything like this.
-Of course not.
315
00:24:18,465 --> 00:24:21,628
That's the point. lt's a prototype.
316
00:24:23,103 --> 00:24:26,368
-That stereo over there.
-Yeah?
317
00:24:26,806 --> 00:24:30,572
-Does it play music?
-Of course.
318
00:24:32,779 --> 00:24:35,509
-Tonight?
-Of course.
319
00:24:35,682 --> 00:24:37,206
Do you got any jazz?
320
00:24:37,384 --> 00:24:39,716
-Name it.
-You got Procol Harum?
321
00:24:39,886 --> 00:24:43,151
-l got Four Tops.
-Close enough.
322
00:24:45,158 --> 00:24:46,955
Bob?
323
00:24:47,127 --> 00:24:51,325
You wanna freshen the girls' drinks?
324
00:24:52,565 --> 00:24:54,123
Bob.
325
00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:06,240
Which one do you want?
326
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,745
-What do you mean?
-These girls are ready to get it on.
327
00:25:10,917 --> 00:25:14,614
And you're the man,
so l figure you get first choice.
328
00:25:16,289 --> 00:25:17,813
l don't really care.
329
00:25:17,991 --> 00:25:20,789
lf it's all the same to you,
l'll hit on the blond.
330
00:25:21,161 --> 00:25:22,992
Copacetic?
331
00:25:24,330 --> 00:25:26,355
Copacetic.
332
00:25:27,267 --> 00:25:29,167
They're beautiful, right?
333
00:25:29,803 --> 00:25:33,204
l'm gonna--
l'll have another hit of that vodka.
334
00:25:48,888 --> 00:25:53,951
-Can l get you another drink?
-l'm not done with this one yet.
335
00:25:56,696 --> 00:26:00,097
John tells me you used
to be a Bunny.
336
00:26:02,068 --> 00:26:08,496
-Can you do the Bunny Dip?
-Can l do the Bunny Dip? Watch this.
337
00:26:16,382 --> 00:26:20,819
-What's the matter? Don't you like me?
-No, it's not that.
338
00:26:20,987 --> 00:26:22,852
l'm married.
339
00:26:23,656 --> 00:26:25,248
So am l.
340
00:26:28,294 --> 00:26:30,956
And l'm a one-woman man.
341
00:26:32,732 --> 00:26:35,394
Hogan, you crack me up.
342
00:26:35,568 --> 00:26:38,731
-No, it's--
-Well, l'm not Colonel Klink...
343
00:26:38,905 --> 00:26:42,136
...or that other dummkopf.
What's his name? The fat one.
344
00:26:42,308 --> 00:26:45,300
You can't pull that crap on me.
345
00:26:52,685 --> 00:26:54,550
What's this?
346
00:26:54,721 --> 00:26:57,053
A prop, l suppose.
347
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:00,888
What do you want?
348
00:27:01,060 --> 00:27:07,363
Colonel Hogan, l want you
to nail me to the fucking wall.
349
00:27:11,337 --> 00:27:13,635
Whatever you want.
350
00:27:13,806 --> 00:27:15,671
Anything.
351
00:27:16,943 --> 00:27:19,468
Can we leave the lights on?
352
00:27:24,784 --> 00:27:30,086
-Danke for the stockings, colonel.
-Don't tell anybody there's a war on.
353
00:27:39,332 --> 00:27:43,291
Herr Kommandant,
Colonel Hogan to see you.
354
00:27:43,469 --> 00:27:46,597
The second season,Cynthia Lynn, who played Helga...
355
00:27:46,773 --> 00:27:50,436
...was replaced by Patti Olsen,screen name Sigrid Valdis.
356
00:27:50,610 --> 00:27:53,238
The character's name was Hilda.
357
00:27:53,413 --> 00:27:57,474
Herr Kommandant,
Colonel Hogan to see you.
358
00:27:57,650 --> 00:27:59,618
Kommandant, you wanted to see me?
359
00:27:59,786 --> 00:28:03,483
Yes, Hogan, l have a very serious
matter to discuss with you.
360
00:28:03,656 --> 00:28:06,124
l know everything
that happened last night.
361
00:28:06,292 --> 00:28:09,557
-You do?
-You don't fool me for one moment.
362
00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:12,220
Well, l know that, sir. Cigar?
363
00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:16,131
Hogan!
364
00:28:16,669 --> 00:28:20,833
Cut! Terrific.
All right, let's move on.
365
00:28:22,342 --> 00:28:24,469
-That was very nice.
-Made me laugh.
366
00:28:24,644 --> 00:28:29,479
Jeff, what do you think? Let's
swing around and do the other side?
367
00:28:31,184 --> 00:28:34,585
-Nervous? That was great.
-l feel like a bad actress.
368
00:28:34,754 --> 00:28:37,723
-Oh, my gosh, it was so good. Really.
-Thanks.
369
00:28:37,890 --> 00:28:39,915
Everyone's so nice.
lt's like a family.
370
00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:43,585
Yeah, well, it depends what kind
of family you come from.
371
00:28:44,364 --> 00:28:47,765
-Okay, come on, come on.
-Okay, you guys, you guys!
372
00:28:47,934 --> 00:28:50,835
-Okay, go.
-All right. Okay. Cheese!
373
00:28:51,004 --> 00:28:56,670
Completing the second season,
Hogan's was rated 1 7 th by the Nielsens.
374
00:29:02,248 --> 00:29:06,116
l'm Bob Crane's manager,
and we're having a little party later...
375
00:29:06,286 --> 00:29:09,949
...and l was wondering
if you ladies would like to come.
376
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:13,354
A party with Bob Crane?
377
00:29:13,526 --> 00:29:15,016
We'd love to.
378
00:29:17,130 --> 00:29:20,122
You know who l'm talking about.
lt's Klink's secretary.
379
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:23,428
-Helga?
-No, it's Hilda.
380
00:29:24,370 --> 00:29:28,306
-She's got real beauty.
-Tighten up your pants?
381
00:29:28,474 --> 00:29:31,136
-Yeah, but she's special, you know?
-They all are.
382
00:29:31,311 --> 00:29:33,677
She's real. Not uptight.
You know what l mean?
383
00:29:33,846 --> 00:29:37,282
-Here they are, Big Daddy.
-Quick, what are their names again?
384
00:29:37,450 --> 00:29:40,977
-Jill and Judy.
-Jill and Judy.
385
00:29:41,554 --> 00:29:44,682
Chicks these days, it's like
they throw out all the rules.
386
00:29:44,857 --> 00:29:46,654
l might be in love.
Which is which?
387
00:29:46,826 --> 00:29:49,795
Jill's the blond,
Judy's the other one.
388
00:29:49,962 --> 00:29:52,396
l'm going for the blond.
389
00:29:52,632 --> 00:29:55,692
Bob, l had her all set up.
390
00:29:58,438 --> 00:30:02,568
-l'm going for the blond.
-Bob, l've been working on her.
391
00:30:02,742 --> 00:30:04,710
Brunette's not my type.
392
00:30:08,915 --> 00:30:11,076
l'm sure you'll make do.
393
00:30:11,918 --> 00:30:13,749
Come on.
394
00:30:14,954 --> 00:30:16,512
Okay.
395
00:30:17,390 --> 00:30:19,255
-Ladies!
-Hey, how are you?
396
00:30:19,425 --> 00:30:21,188
-Hi. Jill, right?
-Jill, yeah.
397
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,851
-Jill, John.
-Bob Crane.
398
00:30:23,029 --> 00:30:25,463
-Judy?
-Yeah, Judy. Nice to meet you.
399
00:30:25,631 --> 00:30:27,189
Welcome.
400
00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:30,427
So this is the party?
401
00:30:31,537 --> 00:30:34,199
Colonel, apparently some
of the new recruits...
402
00:30:34,374 --> 00:30:37,605
...are complaining
about the barracks again.
403
00:30:37,777 --> 00:30:39,369
Hogan!
404
00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:42,772
He does that just right.
405
00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:45,574
Yeah!
406
00:30:45,752 --> 00:30:50,382
You are so photogenic.
407
00:30:51,357 --> 00:30:54,121
That's great! That's great!
408
00:30:55,294 --> 00:30:57,990
l love that thing you do.
409
00:30:58,164 --> 00:31:00,223
Hold on, hold on. l gotta get that.
410
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,996
-Take it off! Take it off!
-Fabulous. Set those puppies free.
411
00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:10,004
-That's great.
-Go, Jill!
412
00:31:10,176 --> 00:31:13,145
Carpy, more film!
413
00:31:13,780 --> 00:31:17,272
That's fabulous.
That's fabulous. Really.
414
00:31:21,988 --> 00:31:24,013
l didn't even know this thing was on.
415
00:31:24,190 --> 00:31:26,590
l didn't want to freak you.
Give you--
416
00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:31,059
-What, performance anxiety.
-l do my best work in front of a camera.
417
00:31:31,230 --> 00:31:35,394
-l do mine behind.
-This is fabulous.
418
00:31:35,568 --> 00:31:37,399
Where have you been all my life?
419
00:31:37,570 --> 00:31:39,731
You do this for Dawson?
420
00:31:40,373 --> 00:31:42,068
You don't like him, do you?
421
00:31:44,243 --> 00:31:47,303
He tried for the lead, it went to me,
so he snips at me.
422
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:51,348
Little Brit fag cracks.
''Trouble with your lines, love?''
423
00:31:51,517 --> 00:31:54,008
You know, always trying
to undercut me.
424
00:31:54,187 --> 00:31:56,212
Jesus, look at her go.
425
00:31:56,622 --> 00:31:59,455
You're gonna have to choose, Carp.
426
00:31:59,692 --> 00:32:02,388
-lt's him or it's me.
-Look, Bob.
427
00:32:02,562 --> 00:32:05,030
She's giving you head.
428
00:32:13,039 --> 00:32:15,803
We're gonna have to burn this tape.
429
00:32:18,611 --> 00:32:21,546
How much did you say one
of these things costs?
430
00:32:22,582 --> 00:32:26,882
Flowers 3 times a week is one thing,
but isn't this extravagant?
431
00:32:27,053 --> 00:32:29,317
Wait till you see it.
432
00:32:34,293 --> 00:32:37,490
-How does it work?
-You gotta see this thing. Carpy.
433
00:32:38,931 --> 00:32:43,265
lt doesn't bite. Just don't touch
these wires right here.
434
00:32:43,436 --> 00:32:44,460
Okay.
435
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,108
Carpy says, ''Don't touch.''
436
00:32:55,047 --> 00:32:57,845
Well, what will we do with it?
437
00:32:58,951 --> 00:33:00,782
Home movies.
438
00:33:00,953 --> 00:33:05,788
Smile! Come on, give me a smile.
439
00:33:05,958 --> 00:33:08,256
Everybody give me a wave.
440
00:33:08,427 --> 00:33:10,657
-l wanna get this side also.
-Thank you.
441
00:33:10,830 --> 00:33:14,231
No, please. Bob!
Come on, l'm washing the dishes.
442
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:18,666
-l don't wanna be photographed.
-Look at that dress. l love that, honey.
443
00:33:18,838 --> 00:33:23,639
All right, give me one more shot.
Here we go. One, two, big dance!
444
00:33:25,745 --> 00:33:28,873
-Look at that.
-This is amazing.
445
00:33:29,048 --> 00:33:31,949
-You just shot this today.
-Yeah, it's not like film.
446
00:33:32,118 --> 00:33:34,382
With video,
there's no film processing.
447
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:37,648
We are light years ahead
of everybody.
448
00:33:37,823 --> 00:33:42,556
Look at that.
lt's like the Polaroid of home movies.
449
00:33:50,369 --> 00:33:55,068
Herr Kommandant,
Colonel Hogan to see you.
450
00:33:58,678 --> 00:34:01,909
Well, he did beat out
a million other sperm.
451
00:34:02,081 --> 00:34:03,912
Think about that.
452
00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:06,551
-Guess it's kind of hard to fathom.
-Yeah.
453
00:34:06,719 --> 00:34:12,123
-You're so easy to talk to.
-lt's because l speak English, Sigrid.
454
00:34:14,026 --> 00:34:15,994
-Call me Patricia.
-Patricia.
455
00:34:16,162 --> 00:34:21,225
Sigrid is my stage name.
To you, l'm Patricia.
456
00:34:24,103 --> 00:34:27,561
And what brought you back to L.A.?
457
00:34:29,375 --> 00:34:32,503
The usual things: a broken marriage.
458
00:34:32,678 --> 00:34:34,771
Cheers to that.
459
00:34:34,947 --> 00:34:37,677
Tired of being a housewife, you know?
460
00:34:37,850 --> 00:34:40,614
So you came back here
where you can play one instead?
461
00:34:40,786 --> 00:34:42,720
Something like that.
462
00:34:42,888 --> 00:34:46,380
What about you, Hogan?
What are your dreams?
463
00:34:47,827 --> 00:34:50,955
Besides drumming with Buddy Rich?
464
00:34:51,163 --> 00:34:56,123
l dream about finding
somebody who gets me...
465
00:34:56,302 --> 00:34:57,963
...who l am.
466
00:35:07,013 --> 00:35:09,573
We're in the show together.
467
00:35:09,749 --> 00:35:12,684
We have to keep up
the appearance of respectability.
468
00:35:12,852 --> 00:35:15,821
l can be very respectable.
469
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,957
You're not really hungry, are you?
470
00:35:27,133 --> 00:35:29,124
l'm gonna get the check.
471
00:35:29,301 --> 00:35:31,565
Yeah.
472
00:35:32,638 --> 00:35:34,833
We're a Christian publication,
Mr. Crane.
473
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:36,770
Please. lt's Bob.
474
00:35:36,942 --> 00:35:40,901
So this is a little outside our
normal terrain. We usually don't do...
475
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,277
...Hollywood interviews,
what with the divorces and whatnot.
476
00:35:44,450 --> 00:35:48,079
-Sure.
-That's why we're interested in you.
477
00:35:48,254 --> 00:35:52,987
You've been married to your
high-school sweetheart for 1 6 years.
478
00:35:53,159 --> 00:35:56,253
-Fifteen, actually.
-Fifteen years.
479
00:35:56,429 --> 00:35:58,624
How do you do it? What's your secret?
480
00:36:00,299 --> 00:36:02,062
Three words:
481
00:36:02,234 --> 00:36:07,365
Don't...make...waves.
482
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:10,338
As every sailor knows,
when one set of waves meets...
483
00:36:10,509 --> 00:36:13,876
...another set of waves
it can set up some chop.
484
00:36:14,046 --> 00:36:17,379
And when three sets of waves
come together, it can make...
485
00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,814
...for some mighty rough sailing.
486
00:36:19,985 --> 00:36:23,751
lt also helps sometimes
to have a harmless safety valve.
487
00:36:23,923 --> 00:36:28,292
Because when l get tense,
l blow off steam.
488
00:36:28,694 --> 00:36:31,663
And so when it comes
to my own family...
489
00:36:31,831 --> 00:36:34,732
...l don't make waves.
490
00:36:34,900 --> 00:36:38,199
That's inspirational.
You're a fortunate man.
491
00:36:38,370 --> 00:36:39,564
Yes.
492
00:36:41,307 --> 00:36:43,639
Yes, l am.
493
00:36:52,651 --> 00:36:55,484
-You want me to run lines with you?
-No, l got it.
494
00:37:04,897 --> 00:37:07,024
ls there anything
you want to talk about?
495
00:37:07,199 --> 00:37:08,666
About what?
496
00:37:08,834 --> 00:37:12,326
Neither of us has said anything,
but we both know.
497
00:37:13,172 --> 00:37:14,434
Know what?
498
00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:17,940
-We never spend any time alone.
-What do you call this?
499
00:37:18,110 --> 00:37:19,737
Tense.
500
00:37:20,246 --> 00:37:24,205
-Distant.
-Oh, you're being ridiculous.
501
00:37:25,050 --> 00:37:26,608
Come on.
502
00:37:27,052 --> 00:37:31,921
l didn't mean that. l just think
you're overreacting a little bit.
503
00:37:32,091 --> 00:37:34,525
lt's been a while
since we've done anything.
504
00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:39,026
Or has work sapped all your energy?
505
00:37:52,478 --> 00:37:55,003
My goodness, she was built.
506
00:37:56,182 --> 00:37:58,776
-Mindy.
-Mandy. Mandy!
507
00:37:59,318 --> 00:38:01,081
We should name a ride after her.
508
00:38:01,253 --> 00:38:04,586
-Loop-de-Loop.
-Tilt-A-Whirl.
509
00:38:04,757 --> 00:38:07,317
Watching these home movies
gets me so damn hot.
510
00:38:07,493 --> 00:38:12,123
-They're videos, Bob. Videos.
-l got a hard-on the size of Florida.
511
00:38:12,298 --> 00:38:14,596
-What was that?
-What?
512
00:38:15,401 --> 00:38:16,891
Rewind the tape.
513
00:38:19,171 --> 00:38:20,502
Just rewind it.
514
00:38:25,444 --> 00:38:29,175
Okay. Okay, just play it from there.
515
00:38:29,348 --> 00:38:30,406
Play it right there.
516
00:38:30,583 --> 00:38:32,050
-What's that on my ass?
-What?
517
00:38:32,218 --> 00:38:33,685
Freeze it. Can you do that?
518
00:38:33,853 --> 00:38:36,321
Not for long.
The image becomes unstable.
519
00:38:36,488 --> 00:38:38,649
Freeze it right there!
520
00:38:42,528 --> 00:38:46,430
What the hell is that on my ass?
521
00:38:47,266 --> 00:38:49,826
That is my hand.
522
00:38:52,071 --> 00:38:54,562
-Rubbing my ass?
-So what?
523
00:38:56,742 --> 00:38:59,677
Your fingers are up my cheeks.
What you doing in there?
524
00:38:59,845 --> 00:39:01,938
lt's an orgy, Bob.
525
00:39:02,781 --> 00:39:04,646
So you can just touch my ass?
526
00:39:05,684 --> 00:39:07,311
l thought you liked it.
527
00:39:07,486 --> 00:39:10,216
-l thought it was her! God!
-What's the difference?
528
00:39:10,389 --> 00:39:13,051
The difference? You got
your fingers up my asshole!
529
00:39:13,225 --> 00:39:14,658
Sorry.
530
00:39:14,827 --> 00:39:16,192
Fuck you very much.
531
00:39:16,362 --> 00:39:19,024
Bob, l said l'm sorry.
lt's a group grope!
532
00:39:19,198 --> 00:39:21,166
You got your fingers up
around my ass!
533
00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:22,698
We were just having fun.
534
00:39:22,868 --> 00:39:24,859
-You know what? You're a perv.
-What?
535
00:39:25,037 --> 00:39:27,471
You're a fucking pervert.
ls that clear enough?
536
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,268
-A feygele. Does that make sense?
-Bob, l'm sorry.
537
00:39:30,442 --> 00:39:32,842
You know what? Hey!
538
00:39:36,548 --> 00:39:38,539
l'll see you next time, Carpy.
539
00:39:38,717 --> 00:39:40,207
Never!
540
00:39:43,856 --> 00:39:47,348
Well, now, l guess,
is as good a time as any.
541
00:39:47,526 --> 00:39:49,494
Thank you all for coming.
542
00:39:50,296 --> 00:39:53,561
Since the introduction of the
CV 2000, we've been working...
543
00:39:53,732 --> 00:39:57,133
...toward the development
of a color videotape recorder.
544
00:39:57,303 --> 00:39:59,794
Mr. Carpenter,
our Los Angeles representative...
545
00:39:59,972 --> 00:40:01,303
...has a demonstration.
546
00:40:01,473 --> 00:40:03,964
This system will demonstrate
what lies in store.
547
00:40:04,143 --> 00:40:06,168
John, get the lights, please?
548
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:31,692
l knew it was in color, but just one?
549
00:40:33,906 --> 00:40:35,203
John, lights.
550
00:40:37,376 --> 00:40:40,311
We are experiencing
a little technical problem.
551
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:42,344
lf you'd excuse us just a second.
552
00:40:42,514 --> 00:40:45,574
There's hot coffee
and fresh Danish next door.
553
00:40:45,751 --> 00:40:47,946
lt'll only be a few minutes,
l promise.
554
00:40:49,388 --> 00:40:51,288
Thank you. Thanks.
555
00:40:52,591 --> 00:40:53,580
What's happened?
556
00:40:53,759 --> 00:40:56,626
l don't know. l set everything
according to specs.
557
00:40:56,795 --> 00:40:58,854
Well, fix it.
558
00:40:59,531 --> 00:41:02,261
Looks fine to me.
559
00:41:02,434 --> 00:41:05,096
lt's green.
lt's fucking green!
560
00:41:14,046 --> 00:41:16,139
You really can't tell, can you?
561
00:41:18,317 --> 00:41:19,841
You're fucking colorblind.
562
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,486
-l'll fix it.
-Goddamn you!
563
00:41:21,653 --> 00:41:25,589
l've got execs from Tokyo, every
network, and you pull a stunt like this?
564
00:41:25,758 --> 00:41:28,989
-John, leave.
-l'm fired?
565
00:41:29,161 --> 00:41:31,391
-Yeah. Get out.
-You can't do that.
566
00:41:31,563 --> 00:41:33,121
lt's done.
567
00:41:33,298 --> 00:41:35,664
l've got the contacts.
568
00:41:35,834 --> 00:41:38,132
Who do you think
got you the celebrities?
569
00:41:38,303 --> 00:41:44,071
l sold Vidicons to Tommy Smothers,
Dick Martin, Bob Crane.
570
00:41:44,243 --> 00:41:46,677
l sold a VTR to Elvis!
571
00:41:46,845 --> 00:41:50,178
Do l need to call security?
572
00:41:51,917 --> 00:41:57,514
One, two, three! l didn't think
she was gonna get that last one.
573
00:41:57,689 --> 00:41:59,850
Oh, what a beautiful cake!
574
00:42:02,428 --> 00:42:04,692
ls it supposed to do that?
575
00:42:11,437 --> 00:42:13,803
lt's broken.
576
00:42:13,972 --> 00:42:15,769
Six months?
577
00:42:15,941 --> 00:42:18,739
Can you refer me to somebody?
578
00:42:20,145 --> 00:42:24,844
Right. All right.
Well, thank you.
579
00:42:40,766 --> 00:42:42,961
John, it's Bob.
580
00:42:43,135 --> 00:42:44,727
Yeah, l'm fine.
581
00:42:44,903 --> 00:42:46,598
Yeah, how are you?
582
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:51,676
Oh, that's funny.
583
00:42:54,179 --> 00:43:00,140
Well, the problem is, we've had a little
trouble with the VTR over here, and--
584
00:43:00,319 --> 00:43:02,753
l know.
No, l know you're busy.
585
00:43:02,921 --> 00:43:04,786
Of course.
586
00:43:05,224 --> 00:43:08,284
l completely understand.
l thought maybe if you could...
587
00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:12,089
...you know, squeeze us in.
588
00:43:24,409 --> 00:43:26,206
You work on this?
589
00:43:27,613 --> 00:43:29,547
Well, l....
590
00:43:30,449 --> 00:43:32,883
lt's the video head drum.
591
00:43:33,285 --> 00:43:36,186
You can't fix it with Scotch tape,
you know.
592
00:43:36,655 --> 00:43:37,849
ls it serious?
593
00:43:38,023 --> 00:43:41,925
No, l should be able to put
another one in there pretty quick...
594
00:43:42,094 --> 00:43:45,086
...as long as nothing else is fucked up.
595
00:43:48,567 --> 00:43:51,764
l really appreciate you coming over.
l tell anybody who asks:
596
00:43:51,937 --> 00:43:55,031
''You need video equipment,
you see John Carpenter.''
597
00:43:55,207 --> 00:43:56,538
Dad!
598
00:43:56,708 --> 00:43:59,404
-l'll be right there, honey!
-Bob?
599
00:43:59,578 --> 00:44:02,672
l'm real sorry about
what went down at my place.
600
00:44:03,849 --> 00:44:04,941
You're not still mad?
601
00:44:05,117 --> 00:44:07,642
-l appreciate you coming over.
-Bob!
602
00:44:09,555 --> 00:44:10,852
l'm not a fag.
603
00:44:12,824 --> 00:44:14,985
About Dawson...
604
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,993
...l told him l was getting
too busy to see him much.
605
00:44:18,163 --> 00:44:19,687
You did?
606
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:22,289
How'd he take it?
607
00:44:23,502 --> 00:44:27,495
What choice did he have?
You're my number one man, Bob!
608
00:44:28,273 --> 00:44:30,138
Copacetic?
609
00:44:31,343 --> 00:44:32,367
Copacetic.
610
00:44:32,544 --> 00:44:34,011
Good.
611
00:44:34,179 --> 00:44:37,671
Because, if you're into it,
one of my clients is having...
612
00:44:37,849 --> 00:44:39,817
...a party up in the hills on Friday.
613
00:44:39,985 --> 00:44:45,514
Lots of ladies. A hippie thing.
Could be fun.
614
00:44:54,266 --> 00:44:55,927
Come on!
615
00:44:57,536 --> 00:44:59,595
Come on in.
616
00:45:04,409 --> 00:45:05,706
Wow.
617
00:45:05,877 --> 00:45:07,435
That's fun.
618
00:45:07,613 --> 00:45:09,979
-Yes.
-Yeah!
619
00:45:10,148 --> 00:45:12,776
-How's your show?
-Show's going really, real well.
620
00:45:12,951 --> 00:45:14,248
Excuse me.
621
00:45:14,419 --> 00:45:16,410
-Man, l loved your radio show.
-Yeah?
622
00:45:16,588 --> 00:45:19,182
lt was so cool,
you know, for its time.
623
00:45:19,358 --> 00:45:21,952
-l used to listen every morning.
-Thank you.
624
00:45:22,127 --> 00:45:24,220
-Can l get an autograph?
-Sure.
625
00:45:24,963 --> 00:45:27,329
Will you sign me right here?
626
00:45:29,835 --> 00:45:33,168
Thanks, Colonel Hogan.
627
00:45:35,574 --> 00:45:37,906
Chinese, they'll just march right in.
628
00:45:38,076 --> 00:45:40,203
-You know what l'm saying?
-Give peace a chance.
629
00:45:40,379 --> 00:45:42,438
-What are you gonna do about it?
-Relax.
630
00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:43,740
John!
631
00:45:43,915 --> 00:45:46,679
-Whatever.
-We're guests.
632
00:45:46,852 --> 00:45:49,343
l fought for my country.
633
00:45:49,521 --> 00:45:51,489
Look at the jugs on her.
634
00:45:54,493 --> 00:45:57,553
Carp? Get a load of this.
635
00:46:04,303 --> 00:46:07,602
No, no, that's good. l like that.
636
00:46:07,773 --> 00:46:09,365
Here we go.
637
00:46:10,609 --> 00:46:13,203
Beautiful. Beautiful.
638
00:46:13,378 --> 00:46:16,438
Want to try one of those
''schmile'' pictures we talked about?
639
00:46:16,615 --> 00:46:17,980
-Okay.
-Why not, huh?
640
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:22,519
We'll just--
There we go. And all set?
641
00:46:22,688 --> 00:46:23,916
Ready.
642
00:46:24,089 --> 00:46:26,284
-Schmile!
-Schmile!
643
00:46:29,394 --> 00:46:31,385
Really great.
644
00:46:32,831 --> 00:46:35,026
I'm a normal,red-blooded American man.
645
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,134
I like to look at naked women.
646
00:46:37,302 --> 00:46:40,601
I love breasts. Any kind. I love them.
647
00:46:40,772 --> 00:46:44,970
Boobs, bazooms,balloons, bags, bazongas.
648
00:46:45,143 --> 00:46:46,542
The bigger, the better.
649
00:46:46,712 --> 00:46:51,149
Nipples like udders, nipples likesaucers. Big pale, rosy-brown nipples.
650
00:46:51,316 --> 00:46:52,749
Little bitty baby nipples.
651
00:46:52,918 --> 00:46:56,149
Real or fake, what's the difference?I like tits.
652
00:46:56,321 --> 00:46:57,618
Who's kidding who?
653
00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:01,182
Tits are great.
654
00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:10,399
-There you are.
-Thank you.
655
00:47:10,569 --> 00:47:12,036
Well, l just--
656
00:47:12,704 --> 00:47:17,607
So you-- You actually
went to Las Vegas with the....
657
00:47:17,776 --> 00:47:19,835
-You can't even say his name?
-Well....
658
00:47:20,011 --> 00:47:22,411
Come on. l told you l was going.
659
00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:27,709
Sure, but l didn't think
you were really gonna do it.
660
00:47:27,886 --> 00:47:31,447
Bob, honey, you're already married.
661
00:47:31,623 --> 00:47:36,117
She doesn't understand this life.
She'd rather be back in Connecticut.
662
00:47:36,294 --> 00:47:38,319
She's not a Hollywood person,
you know?
663
00:47:38,497 --> 00:47:40,158
She's so good. She's like a--
664
00:47:40,332 --> 00:47:41,856
A saint?
665
00:47:42,033 --> 00:47:44,297
Come on, don't let her do that to you.
666
00:47:44,469 --> 00:47:46,960
You are a good man.
667
00:47:47,139 --> 00:47:49,300
What about the press?
668
00:47:50,242 --> 00:47:51,402
The public reaction.
669
00:47:51,576 --> 00:47:54,044
We've got nothing to be ashamed of.
670
00:47:54,212 --> 00:47:57,648
You know, Ed actually suggested
we get married on the set.
671
00:47:57,816 --> 00:47:59,545
CBS would love it.
672
00:47:59,718 --> 00:48:01,583
Publicity.
673
00:48:02,287 --> 00:48:06,451
Hey, remember what you said to me
the first time we had dinner together?
674
00:48:06,625 --> 00:48:08,752
Yeah, that l was fluent in English.
675
00:48:13,899 --> 00:48:17,130
You said you wanted to find
a woman who understands you.
676
00:48:17,302 --> 00:48:19,600
l do. l do.
677
00:48:22,741 --> 00:48:26,199
You know, l have to let you
in on a little secret, baby.
678
00:48:27,546 --> 00:48:31,642
The other women?
l know all about them.
679
00:48:35,587 --> 00:48:37,851
You're okay with that?
680
00:48:38,223 --> 00:48:41,215
We only go around once in this life.
681
00:48:41,393 --> 00:48:44,419
l never want to lie about
who l am and l never want you...
682
00:48:44,596 --> 00:48:46,291
...to lie about who you are.
683
00:48:47,599 --> 00:48:53,299
You're not gonna change.
l know who you are and l love you!
684
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,770
And l love fucking you!
685
00:49:02,614 --> 00:49:05,378
We can have any kind
of marriage we want.
686
00:49:08,453 --> 00:49:13,516
You know, it can be such a drag.
l mean, chatting up broads.
687
00:49:13,692 --> 00:49:16,092
You know me.
l'm a gentleman, l don't push.
688
00:49:16,261 --> 00:49:19,662
But you gotta draw her out,
get her to talk about herself...
689
00:49:19,831 --> 00:49:23,426
...listen to her, act like you
give a shit to get her clothes off.
690
00:49:23,602 --> 00:49:26,469
-And then, not even that.
-That's life with the ladies.
691
00:49:26,638 --> 00:49:28,765
Bobby comes in with
that crooked smile...
692
00:49:28,940 --> 00:49:31,636
...and gets a strike on the
frigging line every time.
693
00:49:31,810 --> 00:49:34,370
-Well, Bob's gotta be careful.
-What do you mean?
694
00:49:34,546 --> 00:49:37,037
l warned him.
695
00:49:37,215 --> 00:49:42,278
He shows me his car full of nudie
pictures of him getting sucked off.
696
00:49:42,454 --> 00:49:44,285
l said, ''Bob, you're a big star.
697
00:49:44,456 --> 00:49:47,152
What happens if you get
pulled over by the cops?''
698
00:49:47,559 --> 00:49:51,586
He'd hit on the Virgin Mary with
Jesus standing right there if he could.
699
00:49:51,763 --> 00:49:54,061
Richard, you are so bad.
700
00:49:54,232 --> 00:49:56,530
Hey, what's with this new
Sony color system?
701
00:49:57,569 --> 00:49:59,127
l'm not with Sony anymore.
702
00:49:59,304 --> 00:50:02,068
-l switched to Akai.
-Really?
703
00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:04,504
Bob is just coming through the gate!
704
00:50:04,676 --> 00:50:06,303
-lt's about time.
-l better go.
705
00:50:06,478 --> 00:50:10,608
-Listen. You don't need him.
-No, l better run.
706
00:50:10,782 --> 00:50:15,583
l put that stuff you wanted in your
trailer. lf you have any questions, call.
707
00:50:16,154 --> 00:50:18,019
Hey, man.
708
00:50:18,823 --> 00:50:20,381
-Good morning, Bob.
-Morning.
709
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:21,548
Clary.
710
00:50:21,726 --> 00:50:23,557
Herr Hogan.
711
00:50:24,029 --> 00:50:25,621
Had a late night, did we, Bob?
712
00:50:25,797 --> 00:50:29,392
Armand, you do your job
and l'll do mine.
713
00:50:29,568 --> 00:50:30,694
Stand aside!
714
00:50:30,869 --> 00:50:33,861
Magician at work.
715
00:50:36,641 --> 00:50:38,541
Take four.
716
00:50:38,977 --> 00:50:41,172
And, action!
717
00:50:41,346 --> 00:50:43,610
l'm serious about this, Hogan.
718
00:50:43,782 --> 00:50:46,910
Well, colonel, it's not really
my responsibility, now, is it?
719
00:50:47,118 --> 00:50:49,484
Hogan, l'm counting on you.
720
00:50:49,888 --> 00:50:52,686
Well, l'll see what LeBeau can do.
721
00:50:53,191 --> 00:50:55,591
What did you say?
722
00:51:02,968 --> 00:51:06,165
Hogan, what's bothering you?
723
00:51:09,774 --> 00:51:13,801
lt would appear Colonel Hogan
is daydreaming again.
724
00:51:13,979 --> 00:51:17,710
-What is this?
-You will tell us everything, Hogan...
725
00:51:17,882 --> 00:51:20,646
...or we have ways of making you talk.
726
00:51:20,819 --> 00:51:23,014
What's...? What's going on?
727
00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:24,779
You will tell us now.
728
00:51:25,490 --> 00:51:27,287
Well, l don't know what to do.
729
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:30,394
Patti wants to get married,
but l can't do that to Anne.
730
00:51:30,562 --> 00:51:34,089
-l'd never forgive myself.
-Himmler was in a similar situation.
731
00:51:34,299 --> 00:51:36,563
-What did he do?
-He sent the wife...
732
00:51:36,735 --> 00:51:40,136
-...and the mistress to Dachau.
-Tell me more.
733
00:51:40,338 --> 00:51:43,239
All l think about all day long is sex.
734
00:51:43,408 --> 00:51:49,108
Having sex.
Filming sex. Watching sex.
735
00:51:49,848 --> 00:51:54,285
Hogan, that's all any of us
really think about.
736
00:51:55,453 --> 00:51:57,683
Nobody else has their
own video specialist.
737
00:51:57,856 --> 00:51:59,380
Video specialist?
738
00:51:59,557 --> 00:52:03,152
Yeah, only mine's a fruit,
or a half-fruit, whatever it's called.
739
00:52:03,328 --> 00:52:07,526
-You must send him to the Russian front!
-No! No, l can't replace him.
740
00:52:07,699 --> 00:52:12,227
Sex thing, Patti thing, the fruit thing....
l don't recognize my own life anymore.
741
00:52:14,305 --> 00:52:16,068
l'm ready for you, Hogan.
742
00:52:17,642 --> 00:52:21,976
-What?
-lt'll be a modern marriage.
743
00:52:22,347 --> 00:52:25,908
Klink and Schultzie can join in too.
744
00:52:26,217 --> 00:52:30,813
Come on, Hogan. Fuck me right here.
745
00:52:34,426 --> 00:52:36,587
The lighting's perfect!
746
00:52:36,761 --> 00:52:39,787
Go for it, Big Daddy.
l've got you covered.
747
00:52:40,165 --> 00:52:42,963
Bob? What do you say?
748
00:52:46,571 --> 00:52:49,005
Go ahead. Fuck her, Bob.
749
00:52:51,676 --> 00:52:53,337
Go balls-deep, Pop.
750
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,571
No, l can't.
Klink, tell me what to do.
751
00:52:57,749 --> 00:53:00,013
-What's the answer?
-The answer?
752
00:53:00,185 --> 00:53:02,779
We don't have answers. We're Nazis.
753
00:53:02,954 --> 00:53:04,478
Dismissed!
754
00:53:07,358 --> 00:53:10,350
Dismissed, Hogan.
755
00:53:13,031 --> 00:53:16,330
Dismissed, Hogan!
756
00:53:17,836 --> 00:53:19,895
Hogan?
757
00:53:20,305 --> 00:53:21,670
Bob!
758
00:53:24,142 --> 00:53:27,873
Are you with us?
You look like you drifted off there.
759
00:53:29,948 --> 00:53:33,509
Yeah. Sorry. Where were we?
760
00:54:13,491 --> 00:54:14,890
Anne?
761
00:54:15,059 --> 00:54:16,651
Oh.
762
00:54:19,764 --> 00:54:21,595
Hey.
763
00:54:26,871 --> 00:54:29,169
What a day!
764
00:54:31,276 --> 00:54:34,211
l was cleaning up today...
765
00:54:35,346 --> 00:54:37,143
...and l went into your darkroom.
766
00:54:37,482 --> 00:54:39,950
Yeah, why'd you do that?
767
00:54:41,019 --> 00:54:42,987
l saw them.
768
00:54:43,154 --> 00:54:44,781
Photography studies.
769
00:54:52,864 --> 00:54:55,799
There was picture after picture.
770
00:54:57,569 --> 00:55:00,094
You know l sometimes play
the drums at the clubs.
771
00:55:00,305 --> 00:55:02,296
How many women are there?
772
00:55:04,676 --> 00:55:07,201
We need counseling....
773
00:55:07,478 --> 00:55:10,106
-How many?
-Anne, l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
774
00:55:14,452 --> 00:55:17,114
l'm--
Anne. Anne, Anne, l'm sorry.
775
00:55:17,288 --> 00:55:19,984
Do you think the children
would be proud of you?
776
00:55:20,692 --> 00:55:22,853
l'm sorry.
777
00:55:44,315 --> 00:55:48,684
l pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
778
00:55:51,122 --> 00:55:54,922
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Crane.
779
00:55:57,228 --> 00:56:01,289
Hogan's Heroes left the airwaveson July 4th, 1 97 1...
780
00:56:01,466 --> 00:56:05,766
...after six seasons and 1 86 shows.
781
00:56:06,471 --> 00:56:08,439
I was determined to do right by Anne.
782
00:56:08,606 --> 00:56:11,666
In the settlement,she got the house, the car...
783
00:56:11,843 --> 00:56:13,674
...and custody of the children.
784
00:56:15,914 --> 00:56:17,541
Patti's pregnant.
785
00:56:18,082 --> 00:56:20,243
l need work.
786
00:56:21,319 --> 00:56:24,550
Sid! How are you, my friend?
787
00:56:24,923 --> 00:56:27,790
What kind of roles you want
me to be looking for?
788
00:56:27,959 --> 00:56:29,017
Anything.
789
00:56:29,961 --> 00:56:33,294
l got a Westwood mortgage,
alimony, child support.
790
00:56:33,464 --> 00:56:35,625
-l got a baby on the way.
-She got pregnant?
791
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:39,930
-l thought you said you had the....
-Vasectomy.
792
00:56:40,138 --> 00:56:41,571
lt leaks.
793
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:43,867
lt leaks?
794
00:56:44,075 --> 00:56:45,975
l need work.
795
00:56:46,144 --> 00:56:48,908
l don't understand.
You were on Hogan's for six years...
796
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,106
...the thing was a hit.
You didn't save any money?
797
00:56:55,820 --> 00:56:59,984
-This is not a good time for film roles.
-Bobby Darin!
798
00:57:00,158 --> 00:57:02,092
-Yeah?
-Bobby Darin gets film roles.
799
00:57:02,260 --> 00:57:04,091
Well, he's married to Sandra Dee.
800
00:57:06,531 --> 00:57:09,398
-You'd have to audition.
-Whatever it takes.
801
00:57:10,735 --> 00:57:13,260
l just want to leave Hogan
and the leather jacket...
802
00:57:13,438 --> 00:57:15,565
...behind me for once
and for all, you know?
803
00:57:15,773 --> 00:57:19,766
According to The Washington Post, whilestill in office as attorney general...
804
00:57:19,944 --> 00:57:24,005
...John Mitchell had personallycontrolled a secret Republican fund.
805
00:57:24,182 --> 00:57:26,742
Mitchell vehemently deniedany such involvement...
806
00:57:26,918 --> 00:57:28,977
...and called the story ludicrous.
807
00:57:29,153 --> 00:57:30,313
Vice President Agnew....
808
00:57:30,488 --> 00:57:32,251
Bob, you are not a failure.
809
00:57:32,991 --> 00:57:37,985
This mortgage is eating me alive.
l'm drowning in debt.
810
00:57:38,363 --> 00:57:42,595
You know, l've never gone this long,
ever, l mean, without work before.
811
00:57:42,767 --> 00:57:44,701
l'll get that.
812
00:57:45,036 --> 00:57:46,697
Hello.
813
00:57:46,871 --> 00:57:50,932
Yeah. Yeah, no,
l just got held up. Great.
814
00:57:51,109 --> 00:57:53,100
lt's John, isn't it?
815
00:57:53,978 --> 00:57:56,469
You said we were gonna
spend tonight together.
816
00:57:56,647 --> 00:58:01,084
l know. l'm sorry, l'm sorry.
l just gotta get out. Okay?
817
00:58:01,252 --> 00:58:07,452
This thinking and dwelling on my
problems, it's driving me crazy.
818
00:58:07,625 --> 00:58:10,492
-lt's lonely in this house without you.
-l know. Listen.
819
00:58:10,661 --> 00:58:13,858
Tomorrow night.
Tomorrow night, you and l, us.
820
00:58:14,065 --> 00:58:17,125
Promise?
821
00:58:17,301 --> 00:58:19,565
-Promise?
-Promise!
822
00:58:19,737 --> 00:58:23,264
Bad boy! Get out!
823
00:58:37,388 --> 00:58:39,856
You know what time it is?
824
00:58:45,430 --> 00:58:47,921
lt's fuck time.
825
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:58,707
Let's hear it for the
inimitable Miss Kitty!
826
00:58:58,876 --> 00:59:01,606
Now totally nude, yeah.
827
00:59:01,779 --> 00:59:04,407
And once again, our old friend
Colonel Hogan.
828
00:59:05,049 --> 00:59:07,950
Robert Crane. Thanks again, Bob.
829
00:59:08,119 --> 00:59:11,145
We're gonna take a little pause
for the cause. Back in 1 0.
830
00:59:11,556 --> 00:59:15,253
Well, l was in radio for 1 5 years.
831
00:59:15,426 --> 00:59:18,122
Six years in Bridgeport, Connecticut.
832
00:59:18,296 --> 00:59:21,857
Nine here in Los Angeles.
Six years on Hogan's.
833
00:59:22,033 --> 00:59:26,367
Wow. That's 20 years of solid work.
834
00:59:27,238 --> 00:59:29,763
Rotten to be out of work.
835
00:59:30,341 --> 00:59:32,400
You've been bad.
836
00:59:32,577 --> 00:59:33,839
Yes, l have.
837
00:59:36,714 --> 00:59:39,012
l know what to do with boys like you.
838
00:59:43,721 --> 00:59:48,249
Stripping is a part-time thing for me.
839
00:59:48,426 --> 00:59:51,361
Mostly, l'm a dominatrix.
840
00:59:53,798 --> 00:59:56,528
Here, l'm Melissa.
841
00:59:56,701 --> 01:00:02,469
But my real self is Mistress Victoria.
842
01:00:03,274 --> 01:00:08,007
-You, you--
-You will respect Mistress Victoria.
843
01:00:14,585 --> 01:00:16,075
You joking?
844
01:00:17,588 --> 01:00:19,988
You tell me.
845
01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:24,052
It's hard to explain, Carp.
846
01:00:24,228 --> 01:00:26,526
You ever been on a roller coaster?
847
01:00:26,697 --> 01:00:31,600
You know that feeling you get
when you take that first....
848
01:00:31,769 --> 01:00:35,136
-You know, that plunge?
-Yeah, sure.
849
01:00:35,573 --> 01:00:39,134
Well, imagine getting off while
you're zooming straight down...
850
01:00:39,310 --> 01:00:44,179
...and your heart is going,
you know, thump.
851
01:00:44,348 --> 01:00:47,340
Thump, thump. lt's....
852
01:00:49,554 --> 01:00:53,183
That's what it's like.
There's no way to compare it.
853
01:00:55,226 --> 01:00:57,126
Wow.
854
01:00:59,664 --> 01:01:01,928
lt's dead air.
855
01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:04,866
-What?
-Dead air.
856
01:01:05,703 --> 01:01:08,501
lt's the one thing
every disc jockey knows:
857
01:01:08,673 --> 01:01:10,868
Don't get stuck with dead air.
858
01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:13,272
That's what l've got.
859
01:01:13,444 --> 01:01:16,880
l've worked and l've worked
and l got dead air.
860
01:01:17,415 --> 01:01:19,383
l hate it.
861
01:01:24,789 --> 01:01:26,780
Dinner theater.
862
01:01:28,926 --> 01:01:31,417
-You're kidding.
-Why?
863
01:01:31,596 --> 01:01:35,225
-You've done summer theater.
-That was summer theater!
864
01:01:35,399 --> 01:01:38,994
That was to keep busy, not something
to do during prime time.
865
01:01:39,270 --> 01:01:42,000
Dick Van Dyke does dinner theater.
And Jim Nabors--
866
01:01:42,206 --> 01:01:46,768
Maybe l need a new agent.
Maybe you're the problem.
867
01:01:51,349 --> 01:01:55,080
All right. Here's the phone.
868
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:58,946
Who do you want to call?
l've got all the numbers.
869
01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:04,785
Len, that's not what l meant.
870
01:02:04,962 --> 01:02:08,557
l'm not the one coming here saying
he's going crazy without work.
871
01:02:08,733 --> 01:02:10,860
l'm trying to help you.
872
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,074
Just keep trying.
873
01:02:19,343 --> 01:02:21,277
Something's gotta turn up.
874
01:02:21,479 --> 01:02:24,175
-What the hell is that?
-Sounds like fire engines.
875
01:02:24,348 --> 01:02:27,875
-Well, l know that.
-Oh, look, they're right on our street!
876
01:02:28,052 --> 01:02:31,886
My God! The building's on fire!
877
01:02:32,056 --> 01:02:34,650
And look at all the police cars
and photographers!
878
01:02:34,825 --> 01:02:37,191
Photographers?
879
01:02:37,995 --> 01:02:39,690
lt's okay.
880
01:02:41,599 --> 01:02:44,625
Photographers? Oh, look,
and there's the mayor too.
881
01:02:44,802 --> 01:02:47,635
-ls my wife down there?
-What does she look like?
882
01:02:47,805 --> 01:02:49,102
l can't remember.
883
01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:53,767
The play was called Beginner's Luck,
a sophisticated sex comedy.
884
01:02:53,944 --> 01:02:56,412
We played dinner theatersaround the country.
885
01:02:56,580 --> 01:02:59,242
Patti and I performed together,but it became clear...
886
01:02:59,417 --> 01:03:02,215
...that for Scotty's sake,she should stay in Los Angeles.
887
01:03:03,321 --> 01:03:05,084
-Scotty!
-Hey, hey, hey.
888
01:03:05,256 --> 01:03:07,087
Wait. Hey, hey, hey!
889
01:03:08,259 --> 01:03:09,521
l got you.
890
01:03:09,694 --> 01:03:11,662
Sure everything's gonna be all right?
891
01:03:11,829 --> 01:03:15,697
New actress comes in this afternoon.
She knows the role. We got four days.
892
01:03:15,866 --> 01:03:18,232
All right with you.
You seem so tense lately.
893
01:03:18,402 --> 01:03:22,566
l'm carrying the whole production. l'm
directing, booking, working the crowd.
894
01:03:22,740 --> 01:03:26,039
-You'll be home in three weeks, right?
-Unless they boo us off.
895
01:03:26,210 --> 01:03:29,008
-They love you, Bob!
-Honey?
896
01:03:29,180 --> 01:03:32,980
-Oh, l'm sorry, baby.
-What are you doing?
897
01:03:33,150 --> 01:03:34,447
Come here.
898
01:03:35,886 --> 01:03:37,080
Come on.
899
01:03:37,254 --> 01:03:39,882
Everybody loves you, Bob.
900
01:03:46,163 --> 01:03:48,961
Pacific Southwest Airlinesflight 28 7...
901
01:03:49,133 --> 01:03:53,934
...is now arriving at gate 35from Los Angeles.
902
01:04:09,353 --> 01:04:11,844
-Hey!
-Big Daddy.
903
01:04:12,022 --> 01:04:14,718
-Voila!
-What is that?
904
01:04:14,892 --> 01:04:16,826
Videocassette. lt's brand-new.
905
01:04:16,994 --> 01:04:20,054
lt has the reel-to-reel
inside the casing.
906
01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:21,994
My God.
907
01:04:22,166 --> 01:04:24,600
Any trouble with the luggage?
908
01:04:24,769 --> 01:04:27,567
We're gonna need a sky cart.
909
01:04:27,772 --> 01:04:30,969
That's just the thing. With women,
if they have a good sound--
910
01:04:31,142 --> 01:04:32,700
-They love it.
-Patti loves it.
911
01:04:32,877 --> 01:04:36,836
You know, we need a tape.
A music tape.
912
01:04:37,014 --> 01:04:39,482
-Like a recording or something.
-Yeah, yeah.
913
01:04:39,650 --> 01:04:42,448
-To get the chicks in the mood.
-That's a fabulous idea.
914
01:04:42,620 --> 01:04:43,487
lt's a fabulous idea.
915
01:04:43,487 --> 01:04:45,148
lt's a fabulous idea.
916
01:05:02,940 --> 01:05:06,068
We have so much fun here.
We just love Columbus audiences.
917
01:05:06,243 --> 01:05:09,906
We like after the show to take
a couple questions from the audience.
918
01:05:14,585 --> 01:05:17,053
So let's start...
919
01:05:20,090 --> 01:05:21,557
...here.
920
01:05:34,905 --> 01:05:38,466
You St. Louis audiences are
fantastic. l'd be happy to sign...
921
01:05:38,642 --> 01:05:41,736
...some autographs after the show.
l ask one thing:
922
01:05:41,912 --> 01:05:45,109
Don't throw them out
while l'm still present.
923
01:05:56,861 --> 01:05:58,886
What do y'all do for fun in Dallas?
924
01:05:59,096 --> 01:06:03,396
l hear the place to be on a Thursday
night is a club called Lucky's.
925
01:06:10,708 --> 01:06:15,202
So l guess that's where you'll find
me and some of the crew tonight.
926
01:06:15,379 --> 01:06:17,847
lf you're looking for company.
927
01:06:18,182 --> 01:06:21,083
Over here! Over here!
928
01:06:24,288 --> 01:06:26,313
-You all right?
-Yeah.
929
01:06:26,490 --> 01:06:28,117
Hey, Bob! Bob!
930
01:06:28,292 --> 01:06:29,281
Yeah?
931
01:06:29,460 --> 01:06:31,428
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
932
01:06:46,810 --> 01:06:47,978
-Carpy?
-Sleeping Beauty.
933
01:06:47,978 --> 01:06:48,706
-Carpy?
-Sleeping Beauty.
934
01:06:48,879 --> 01:06:50,676
Where you been?
935
01:06:50,848 --> 01:06:56,582
While you were catching Z's,
l, your loyal musketeer...
936
01:06:56,754 --> 01:06:59,382
...was out at the porn theater...
937
01:06:59,557 --> 01:07:04,085
...shooting a copy of Deep Throat
off the screen.
938
01:07:04,261 --> 01:07:07,025
-You can do that?
-l had to use your name.
939
01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:10,723
l picked up some swing magazines.
This is a big town for swinging.
940
01:07:10,935 --> 01:07:12,960
-We should just do it.
-What?
941
01:07:13,137 --> 01:07:16,664
Just make a big-budget sex film.
942
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:22,369
You know?
Get some big star, like....
943
01:07:22,546 --> 01:07:25,037
-Stella Stevens.
-She'd never do it.
944
01:07:25,215 --> 01:07:27,547
Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, Carp.
Oh, yeah.
945
01:07:27,718 --> 01:07:30,243
lf you pay her enough.
She's an actress!
946
01:07:31,522 --> 01:07:35,390
Wow. You could charge, like,
1 0 bucks for something like that.
947
01:07:36,260 --> 01:07:38,751
Hey. Look at this.
948
01:07:38,929 --> 01:07:40,419
Look at my dick.
949
01:07:40,998 --> 01:07:44,161
-Look at my dick.
-l've seen your dick before.
950
01:07:45,202 --> 01:07:47,067
Look closer.
951
01:07:47,237 --> 01:07:50,331
-l don't want to look closer.
-Look, damn it!
952
01:07:53,777 --> 01:07:56,041
See anything different?
953
01:07:57,281 --> 01:07:59,511
What am l supposed to say,
it's bigger?
954
01:08:00,684 --> 01:08:01,946
ls it?
955
01:08:04,622 --> 01:08:07,955
Wow. You did it, didn't you?
956
01:08:08,158 --> 01:08:11,423
Last time l was in L.A.
A ''penile enhancement.''
957
01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:15,258
Wow! lt's thicker!
How much did it cost?
958
01:08:15,432 --> 01:08:19,163
lf you're gonna be in the movies,
gotta do what you gotta do.
959
01:08:19,336 --> 01:08:23,466
-Hey, a day without sex....
-ls a day wasted.
960
01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:26,701
Bob Crane. Hey, Lenny.
961
01:08:26,877 --> 01:08:28,674
You're kidding me.
962
01:08:28,846 --> 01:08:30,814
Run it by me again?
963
01:08:32,549 --> 01:08:34,915
That-- No, no, no, no, that's--
964
01:08:35,119 --> 01:08:36,416
That's great.
965
01:08:36,587 --> 01:08:39,249
Disney's offering me a movie.
Superdad.
966
01:08:40,357 --> 01:08:43,520
No, no, no, no. Just tell them
l got some commitments.
967
01:08:43,694 --> 01:08:47,095
Don't blow this, Lenny.
Don't blow it. l want this job.
968
01:08:47,264 --> 01:08:49,562
l need this job, okay?
969
01:08:49,733 --> 01:08:52,258
No, it's fabulous! Yeah.
970
01:08:52,436 --> 01:08:55,064
l'll call you later. Yeah.
971
01:08:58,942 --> 01:09:01,775
Guess who's playing Superdad?
972
01:09:02,746 --> 01:09:04,611
Me.
973
01:09:05,783 --> 01:09:08,809
So much for our big plans.
974
01:09:11,155 --> 01:09:14,784
Don't give me that look.
This is good for both of us.
975
01:09:14,992 --> 01:09:19,759
-Oh, is it?
-Yeah. l'm back in play again.
976
01:09:19,930 --> 01:09:21,522
The big time.
977
01:09:22,232 --> 01:09:24,166
-Sweets. How are you?
-l'm fine.
978
01:09:24,334 --> 01:09:25,426
Schmile.
979
01:09:25,602 --> 01:09:27,001
-Let's pull it around.
-Easy.
980
01:09:27,171 --> 01:09:28,536
-Lenny!
-Hey.
981
01:09:28,706 --> 01:09:30,833
You came by.
982
01:09:31,408 --> 01:09:33,376
lt's 20 minutes.
983
01:09:33,544 --> 01:09:37,105
They're turning around the lights.
You want to go in my trailer?
984
01:09:40,584 --> 01:09:43,212
l got a call from Disney.
985
01:09:43,387 --> 01:09:45,947
Apparently some joker
from the Enquirer...
986
01:09:46,123 --> 01:09:49,422
...took pictures of you
in a topless bar.
987
01:09:52,730 --> 01:09:56,188
Bob, this is Disney.
Don't fucking blow this.
988
01:09:56,366 --> 01:10:00,996
l'm a family man. One woman man.
Always have been.
989
01:10:01,872 --> 01:10:04,739
What about the photo albums?
990
01:10:05,209 --> 01:10:07,006
Those pictures you show people.
991
01:10:07,177 --> 01:10:10,340
You know, not everyone thinks
about things the way you do.
992
01:10:10,514 --> 01:10:13,312
Turns people off.
And word gets around, believe me.
993
01:10:13,484 --> 01:10:16,476
-Who'd l show them to?
-You show them to everybody.
994
01:10:16,653 --> 01:10:19,383
Don't be a square.
995
01:10:20,090 --> 01:10:24,049
ls it true you showed them to
Donna Reed and she ran out?
996
01:10:25,129 --> 01:10:28,462
l may be horny, but l'm not stupid.
997
01:10:28,632 --> 01:10:30,862
There could be a very
serious conflict here...
998
01:10:31,034 --> 01:10:36,097
...between your lifestyle and
your career. You don't see this?
999
01:10:36,273 --> 01:10:37,706
l'm normal.
1000
01:10:39,042 --> 01:10:40,441
Sex is not the answer.
1001
01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:44,877
l know that, Lenny, it's the question.
''Yes'' is the answer.
1002
01:10:45,082 --> 01:10:47,050
l'm just saying.
1003
01:10:47,217 --> 01:10:50,914
Just try to be a little discreet.
All right?
1004
01:10:52,589 --> 01:10:53,920
Come in for a minute.
1005
01:10:54,124 --> 01:10:57,992
-l gotta get back to the office.
-Well, call me!
1006
01:11:02,232 --> 01:11:04,359
This is it.
1007
01:11:05,002 --> 01:11:07,334
Here we are.
1008
01:11:08,071 --> 01:11:09,595
Batman and Robin.
1009
01:11:10,741 --> 01:11:12,868
Lone Ranger and Tonto.
1010
01:11:13,877 --> 01:11:17,142
Hi-yo, Silver. Away!
1011
01:11:17,748 --> 01:11:21,844
-Come on in, guys. Join the party!
-Hey, what's going on?
1012
01:11:22,019 --> 01:11:25,011
-Janet! Janet!
-What's coming off?
1013
01:11:25,189 --> 01:11:27,123
What's going down?
1014
01:11:27,591 --> 01:11:30,287
All your life you're the lucky guy.The funny guy.
1015
01:11:31,762 --> 01:11:33,161
Then one day it all turns.
1016
01:11:33,330 --> 01:11:35,992
The jokes aren't funny,the phone doesn't ring.
1017
01:11:36,166 --> 01:11:38,726
You're the same, but nothing else is.
1018
01:11:38,902 --> 01:11:41,268
Superdad sat on the shelffor a year...
1019
01:11:41,605 --> 01:11:42,970
...then flopped.
1020
01:11:43,140 --> 01:11:46,200
I had to beg Disneyfor a cameo in another film...
1021
01:11:46,376 --> 01:11:50,574
...Gus, about a donkeywho kicked field goals.
1022
01:11:50,747 --> 01:11:55,912
What do they want from me?I don't drink. I don't smoke.
1023
01:11:56,086 --> 01:11:58,850
Two out of three ain't bad.
1024
01:12:04,862 --> 01:12:06,352
Honey?
1025
01:12:06,697 --> 01:12:08,756
Gotta go back on the road.
1026
01:12:08,966 --> 01:12:11,491
Bob, you're never home anymore.
1027
01:12:11,668 --> 01:12:15,035
You think dinner theater
makes me happy?
1028
01:12:15,205 --> 01:12:18,800
How do you think l feel having to do
dinner theater to pay the bills?
1029
01:12:18,976 --> 01:12:22,434
Gee, l wouldn't know.
l'm just a housewife.
1030
01:12:22,613 --> 01:12:24,638
Well, maybe you need a new hobby.
1031
01:12:24,848 --> 01:12:26,975
You thought about that?
1032
01:12:29,219 --> 01:12:32,848
Maybe l need a new husband.
1033
01:12:33,023 --> 01:12:36,754
Hey, everything l do is for you
and Scotty. Come on.
1034
01:12:36,927 --> 01:12:40,829
The house, the furniture,
the Caddy that you drive.
1035
01:12:42,065 --> 01:12:43,726
l just want someone here.
1036
01:12:44,935 --> 01:12:46,835
You're never home anymore.
1037
01:12:47,004 --> 01:12:51,134
And when you are, you're
downstairs editing your videos!
1038
01:12:52,576 --> 01:12:55,568
You want me to cancel my next
engagement? Just cancel it?
1039
01:12:55,746 --> 01:12:58,977
l can't. lt's a contract!
1040
01:12:59,483 --> 01:13:01,883
Marriage is a contract.
1041
01:13:03,487 --> 01:13:06,684
Maybe we should just
cancel that too.
1042
01:13:10,794 --> 01:13:11,988
l booked Wichita.
1043
01:13:15,933 --> 01:13:18,197
Is that thing on?
1044
01:13:18,535 --> 01:13:21,402
Oh, yeah. Want me to turn it off?
1045
01:13:21,571 --> 01:13:24,802
-Happy now?
-Yeah.
1046
01:13:50,968 --> 01:13:52,936
Bob?
1047
01:14:02,579 --> 01:14:04,604
Bob?
1048
01:14:15,792 --> 01:14:17,191
Hey, Big Daddy!
1049
01:14:17,361 --> 01:14:18,726
Carpy. You want a drink?
1050
01:14:18,895 --> 01:14:22,092
Look what l got you. lt's a timer.
1051
01:14:22,265 --> 01:14:25,029
Now we can put on the recorder
whenever we want...
1052
01:14:25,202 --> 01:14:27,693
-...tape shows right off the TV.
-That's fantastic.
1053
01:14:27,871 --> 01:14:30,465
Like if you want to watch
Johnny Carson at 1 1 :30...
1054
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:33,609
...and we're out hunting chicks,
we set the timer. Boom.
1055
01:14:33,777 --> 01:14:35,768
We watch it in the morning.
1056
01:14:35,946 --> 01:14:38,938
l'm gonna need a minute to
wrap my mind around that idea.
1057
01:14:39,116 --> 01:14:42,608
-Pretty groovy, huh?
-Yeah.
1058
01:14:44,688 --> 01:14:47,589
You okay? You look kind of blue.
1059
01:14:48,258 --> 01:14:51,455
Just Patti and l
having some problems.
1060
01:14:52,429 --> 01:14:55,455
Had to cancel the Wichita gig.
1061
01:14:55,632 --> 01:14:58,100
l thought you had
an arrangement with her.
1062
01:14:58,268 --> 01:15:01,203
-You know how women are.
-Yeah.
1063
01:15:03,073 --> 01:15:06,099
You got the right idea, really.
1064
01:15:06,543 --> 01:15:09,171
Live separately.
1065
01:15:09,646 --> 01:15:12,774
l'd miss her and Scotty too much.
1066
01:15:19,156 --> 01:15:21,852
This is making me hot.
1067
01:15:22,492 --> 01:15:25,017
-What's her name again?
-l'm not sure.
1068
01:15:25,195 --> 01:15:27,629
Could look it up in my records.
1069
01:15:27,931 --> 01:15:30,559
l've got all this stuff.
1070
01:15:31,034 --> 01:15:34,800
The bush on her. Wouldn't go
near that without a flashlight.
1071
01:15:36,039 --> 01:15:38,098
l did.
1072
01:15:41,378 --> 01:15:44,176
What is it about women, Carpy?
They tell you one thing...
1073
01:15:44,347 --> 01:15:47,043
...then they get you and
they change their minds. lt's....
1074
01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:49,514
Can't live with 'em,
can't live without 'em.
1075
01:15:49,719 --> 01:15:51,983
You know, truer words
were never spoken.
1076
01:15:52,189 --> 01:15:53,884
Can't live with 'em....
1077
01:15:54,057 --> 01:15:56,753
Can't kill 'em.
1078
01:15:56,927 --> 01:16:00,419
l think this is Seattle.
1079
01:16:00,630 --> 01:16:03,599
No. Dallas.
1080
01:16:03,867 --> 01:16:06,768
Look at the decor.
The Western picture.
1081
01:16:08,672 --> 01:16:10,401
Tits on her.
1082
01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:12,568
Yeah.
1083
01:16:22,619 --> 01:16:25,554
My God, the building's on fire!
1084
01:16:25,989 --> 01:16:28,514
Look at all those police cars
and photographers!
1085
01:16:28,692 --> 01:16:31,422
Photographers? Oh, my God,
the mayor's there too!
1086
01:16:31,595 --> 01:16:34,428
-Do you see my wife out there?
-What does she look like?
1087
01:16:34,631 --> 01:16:36,394
l don't remember!
1088
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:38,465
Carpy?
1089
01:16:38,635 --> 01:16:40,967
Yeah?
1090
01:16:41,138 --> 01:16:45,131
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's great up here.
1091
01:16:45,308 --> 01:16:47,572
Last night? Zilch.
1092
01:16:47,744 --> 01:16:51,180
But there's actually a story there.
A society babe.
1093
01:16:51,348 --> 01:16:53,339
l did her friend.
1094
01:16:53,517 --> 01:16:57,681
She was all hot to go and then
she got the heebie-jeebies.
1095
01:16:58,588 --> 01:17:00,112
When are you coming out?
1096
01:17:11,001 --> 01:17:12,366
Excuse me.
1097
01:17:12,536 --> 01:17:16,632
Mind switching that to channel nine?
l want to check something out.
1098
01:17:30,987 --> 01:17:34,946
That's the guy from that TV show.
Look, there he is--
1099
01:17:35,158 --> 01:17:38,650
l'm going to talk to him. Watch.
1100
01:17:46,903 --> 01:17:50,134
-Hi.
-Hi.
1101
01:17:50,340 --> 01:17:52,865
l'm sorry to bother you.
l was sitting over there...
1102
01:17:53,043 --> 01:17:56,137
...and l noticed the TV and l--
Well, is that you?
1103
01:17:56,346 --> 01:17:59,873
-On the TV, is that...?
-Oh, my gosh!
1104
01:18:00,050 --> 01:18:03,508
That is embarrassing. l didn't even
know it was on. l'm Bob Crane.
1105
01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:05,085
l know. l thought so.
1106
01:18:05,255 --> 01:18:07,348
Bob Crane.
Gosh, it's nice to meet you.
1107
01:18:07,557 --> 01:18:09,320
-Nice to meet you too....
-Susan.
1108
01:18:09,492 --> 01:18:12,086
-Susan. All right.
-l loved your TV show.
1109
01:18:12,262 --> 01:18:16,062
l appreciate that. l'm just in town
here to do a little bit of theater.
1110
01:18:16,233 --> 01:18:19,100
-l just wanted to say hi.
-Sure. Can l get you something?
1111
01:18:19,269 --> 01:18:22,466
Another drink? An autograph?
A nude swim?
1112
01:18:22,639 --> 01:18:24,004
Bob!
1113
01:18:24,174 --> 01:18:27,803
You know, l'm a real photo nut.
How long are you girls in town?
1114
01:18:28,612 --> 01:18:32,070
Carp. Look at this.
1115
01:18:32,249 --> 01:18:33,682
You want a club sandwich?
1116
01:18:33,850 --> 01:18:38,219
This editing hookup's fantastic. l can
even cut together cartoons for Scotty.
1117
01:18:38,655 --> 01:18:41,852
No, l'm not hungry. Watch this.
1118
01:18:42,792 --> 01:18:44,589
Here's Bobby!
1119
01:18:45,629 --> 01:18:49,759
On The Morning Show
with us today, Bob Crane.
1120
01:18:49,933 --> 01:18:54,529
-Hey. You made this?
-Yeah, with your equipment!
1121
01:18:54,704 --> 01:18:58,504
lt's like the old stuff
we used to do back in radio.
1122
01:18:58,708 --> 01:19:02,166
Know how sometimes you put a flub
in the show? Audiences crack up.
1123
01:19:02,379 --> 01:19:03,368
lt's so funny.
1124
01:19:03,546 --> 01:19:06,572
The girls, sometimes they're
uncomfortable with the video.
1125
01:19:06,750 --> 01:19:10,709
Now we show them an edit,
get them laughing and boom!
1126
01:19:10,887 --> 01:19:13,481
They love sex. They're just
looking for an excuse.
1127
01:19:13,657 --> 01:19:16,182
-You want something to drink?
-Women should have...
1128
01:19:16,359 --> 01:19:19,157
...a letter from the pope,
says, ''lf l sleep with you...
1129
01:19:19,329 --> 01:19:22,389
...my boyfriend won't come after you.''
Know what l mean?
1130
01:19:22,565 --> 01:19:25,728
-l talked to Nick Murphy in Houston.
-Yeah, how'd that go?
1131
01:19:25,902 --> 01:19:30,532
We're all set for Monday night with the
swinging thing. You know, it's strange.
1132
01:19:30,707 --> 01:19:33,073
Dallas is a great town for babes.
1133
01:19:34,177 --> 01:19:36,304
But for swinging, nothing.
1134
01:19:36,913 --> 01:19:41,213
You know what's a great city for
dominance? Atlanta. Don't ask me why.
1135
01:19:41,384 --> 01:19:43,750
l made this for you.
1136
01:19:49,059 --> 01:19:50,151
That's good.
1137
01:19:52,529 --> 01:19:55,396
Simply scrumptious!
1138
01:20:04,074 --> 01:20:08,272
It's not very nice to tryand trick Mother Nature.
1139
01:20:08,445 --> 01:20:09,742
That's not funny, Bob.
1140
01:20:09,913 --> 01:20:11,744
Carp, come on!
1141
01:20:13,450 --> 01:20:16,044
Don't tell me funny. l know funny...
1142
01:20:16,219 --> 01:20:18,084
-...and that's funny!
-No, it's not.
1143
01:20:18,254 --> 01:20:21,417
lt's fucking Laugh-In!
That's Rowan and Martin.
1144
01:20:21,591 --> 01:20:24,788
-After all l've done for you.
-What do you mean?
1145
01:20:24,961 --> 01:20:27,191
The equipment,
coming when you called...
1146
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:30,197
...running errands,
setting up the swinging parties--
1147
01:20:30,367 --> 01:20:34,360
Do you hear yourself? What are
you--? All you've done for me?
1148
01:20:34,537 --> 01:20:38,473
What are you talking about? How the
fuck do you think you get these broads?
1149
01:20:38,641 --> 01:20:43,840
You think you show up and say,
''Hey, l'm John Carpenter. Fuck me.''
1150
01:20:45,281 --> 01:20:49,115
They're with you because of me. They
don't want you, they want Bob Crane.
1151
01:20:49,285 --> 01:20:55,121
So if you don't mind, please lay off
the ''all l've done for you'' speech.
1152
01:21:12,976 --> 01:21:14,671
-Mr. Crane?
-Oh, yeah!
1153
01:21:14,844 --> 01:21:19,042
-Hey, Mr. Crane!
-Do you want an autograph?
1154
01:21:20,049 --> 01:21:22,279
You've been served.
1155
01:21:26,656 --> 01:21:31,423
Welcome to Celebrity Cooks.
My name is Bruno Gerussi.
1156
01:21:31,594 --> 01:21:37,555
Today we'll be cooking with Colonel
Hogan himself, Mr. Bob Crane!
1157
01:21:43,773 --> 01:21:46,640
Thanks, Bruno.
lt's a pleasure to be here.
1158
01:21:46,843 --> 01:21:51,041
Wonderful to see you.
Now, what has Hogan been up to?
1159
01:21:51,214 --> 01:21:56,379
Pretty much the same old thing. Still
trying to pull the wool over Klink's eyes.
1160
01:21:56,586 --> 01:21:58,679
And trying to get into Hilda's pants.
1161
01:21:58,855 --> 01:22:02,154
Actually, l did get into her pants,
l married her. But....
1162
01:22:02,325 --> 01:22:06,853
Now she's divorcing me,
so that's not worked out.
1163
01:22:07,030 --> 01:22:09,658
But l will be next month
in Long Beach...
1164
01:22:09,833 --> 01:22:12,301
...performing a show called
Beginner's Luck.
1165
01:22:12,469 --> 01:22:17,031
Wonderful! So, Bob, what recipe
have you brought us today?
1166
01:22:17,240 --> 01:22:20,801
lt is a pasta dish.
1167
01:22:20,977 --> 01:22:26,779
With chicken and fettuccine,
they tell me.
1168
01:22:26,950 --> 01:22:29,544
l don't-- That's what they
told me to say, anyway.
1169
01:22:29,719 --> 01:22:30,845
Sounds delicious.
1170
01:22:31,054 --> 01:22:34,751
You got a balloon-smuggler
here in the audience today.
1171
01:22:34,958 --> 01:22:37,426
You got a license
to carry those things?
1172
01:22:37,594 --> 01:22:42,088
Little tip on how to remove the wrinkles
from your face: Take off your bra.
1173
01:22:45,001 --> 01:22:48,562
Calm down.
Boo! Calm down.
1174
01:22:48,771 --> 01:22:53,333
They'll cut all this stuff out. They
edit it and they take all this stuff out.
1175
01:22:53,510 --> 01:22:57,207
Nice enough girl till she figured out
the fuzzy thing she's sitting on...
1176
01:22:57,380 --> 01:22:59,814
-...could make her some money.
-You all right?
1177
01:22:59,983 --> 01:23:05,216
l'm fine. lt's actually called a Chicken
Fettuccine a la Crane, is my dish.
1178
01:23:05,388 --> 01:23:07,788
-We can take a break if you want.
-No, l'm fine.
1179
01:23:07,957 --> 01:23:12,121
l'm a complete professional. l just can't
get over the size of those knockers.
1180
01:23:12,328 --> 01:23:14,819
-Look, here come the ingredients now.
-Yes!
1181
01:23:14,998 --> 01:23:17,023
Wonderful.
1182
01:23:17,433 --> 01:23:19,560
The noodles!
1183
01:23:27,343 --> 01:23:29,174
Bob.
1184
01:23:29,345 --> 01:23:33,304
You surprised me. Come in.
Close the door, will you?
1185
01:23:34,217 --> 01:23:36,276
Sit.
1186
01:23:38,922 --> 01:23:40,981
You need anything?
1187
01:23:42,559 --> 01:23:44,424
Sit.
1188
01:23:44,727 --> 01:23:49,824
So, what's on your mind?
1189
01:23:49,999 --> 01:23:52,593
Just passing through.
1190
01:23:54,370 --> 01:23:56,497
Some things never change.
1191
01:23:56,706 --> 01:24:01,143
How's the theater? Our--
The boys are helping you, right?
1192
01:24:01,311 --> 01:24:05,475
-l got eight months lined up, thank you.
-That's a nice little moneymaker.
1193
01:24:05,982 --> 01:24:08,177
You should know.
1194
01:24:10,887 --> 01:24:13,117
How's the family? The kids all right?
1195
01:24:14,057 --> 01:24:16,651
-Patti and l broke up.
-Yeah, l heard.
1196
01:24:16,826 --> 01:24:18,521
She hates me.
1197
01:24:18,962 --> 01:24:21,795
And she threw stuff at me.
1198
01:24:22,165 --> 01:24:27,193
Ashtrays, a videocassette. She cut
my lip here. l had to have stitches.
1199
01:24:29,839 --> 01:24:32,433
l was wondering if you'd
set some meetings up.
1200
01:24:32,875 --> 01:24:35,673
Get in circulation. A game show.
1201
01:24:36,412 --> 01:24:39,074
Do you remember the reaction
l got on Password?
1202
01:24:39,248 --> 01:24:42,115
l know Password is, you know,
not on the air anymore...
1203
01:24:42,285 --> 01:24:45,311
...but maybe Hollywood Squares.
You know? Something just to...
1204
01:24:45,488 --> 01:24:50,016
...get into the public's eye.
Don't look like that. Hey!
1205
01:24:50,193 --> 01:24:52,889
l'm not talking about
Paul Lynde's square.
1206
01:24:53,062 --> 01:24:55,587
-Any square is fine.
-We've talked about this.
1207
01:24:55,765 --> 01:24:57,824
The image problem.
1208
01:24:58,001 --> 01:25:02,665
lf l sent you out again, l'd have to be
able to tell people you're a new man.
1209
01:25:03,373 --> 01:25:06,206
Well, tell them sex is normal.
1210
01:25:07,543 --> 01:25:12,571
lt's good for you. l'm normal.
People got these hang-ups.
1211
01:25:16,519 --> 01:25:20,979
Do you know that there's actually
people out there who avoid me now?
1212
01:25:22,091 --> 01:25:23,854
This is a nice one.
1213
01:25:24,460 --> 01:25:26,257
l'm the friendly guy.
1214
01:25:26,429 --> 01:25:29,956
l'm the mediator.
My brother and father....
1215
01:25:30,933 --> 01:25:34,198
Goddamn, they hated each other.
You know?
1216
01:25:36,005 --> 01:25:39,566
-l'm the good son.
-Hey, l'm not a counselor.
1217
01:25:42,445 --> 01:25:46,313
l'm feeling very awkward
being put in this situation.
1218
01:25:52,021 --> 01:25:53,818
There's one thing l know.
1219
01:25:53,990 --> 01:25:57,118
Bob, people don't change
unless they want to.
1220
01:25:59,595 --> 01:26:01,256
l want to.
1221
01:26:01,631 --> 01:26:04,759
A drunk can't get sober and hang
around his old drinking buddies.
1222
01:26:04,934 --> 01:26:07,164
lt doesn't work that way, kid.
1223
01:26:11,774 --> 01:26:12,763
Excuse me.
1224
01:26:13,409 --> 01:26:15,138
-Yeah.
-Your 4:00 is here.
1225
01:26:15,311 --> 01:26:17,040
Tell him to wait.
1226
01:26:23,886 --> 01:26:27,117
-You got meetings.
-No! No hurry. Sit down.
1227
01:26:27,290 --> 01:26:29,053
l gotta go anyway.
1228
01:26:29,459 --> 01:26:32,121
Come here.
l want you to know something.
1229
01:26:32,295 --> 01:26:36,197
l'm here for you, and l want
to help you. You understand?
1230
01:26:36,532 --> 01:26:39,023
Yes. l'll call you.
1231
01:26:40,503 --> 01:26:43,666
Good luck, kid.
Beginner's luck, right?
1232
01:26:59,021 --> 01:27:00,318
Bobby!
1233
01:27:01,791 --> 01:27:03,053
Dad?
1234
01:27:05,962 --> 01:27:07,520
How you doing?
1235
01:27:07,730 --> 01:27:09,857
-What's up?
-Hello, Mr. Crane.
1236
01:27:12,702 --> 01:27:14,192
l'll be inside.
1237
01:27:15,605 --> 01:27:17,539
Wow, she's built.
1238
01:27:27,116 --> 01:27:29,141
How you doing?
1239
01:27:29,318 --> 01:27:32,651
-Pretty good. What's up?
-What have you been up to?
1240
01:27:34,023 --> 01:27:35,957
-Nothing much.
-Yeah?
1241
01:27:37,894 --> 01:27:41,227
Patti and l are getting a divorce.
1242
01:27:41,397 --> 01:27:44,798
-She's busting my balls.
-Really, l don't want to get into it.
1243
01:27:44,967 --> 01:27:47,128
l didn't want you to hear
about it the wrong way.
1244
01:27:47,303 --> 01:27:48,861
Right.
1245
01:27:49,038 --> 01:27:52,303
l tried to call your mom.
1246
01:27:52,475 --> 01:27:55,444
Well, she never says
anything bad about you.
1247
01:27:58,047 --> 01:28:00,982
How you doing? You okay?
1248
01:28:03,386 --> 01:28:05,820
Where you working now?
1249
01:28:05,988 --> 01:28:09,082
Well, we're going
back down to Long Beach.
1250
01:28:10,126 --> 01:28:11,753
Then we go up to Seattle.
1251
01:28:11,928 --> 01:28:15,091
And down to Scottsdale.
1252
01:28:15,765 --> 01:28:18,325
Scottsdale, Arizona.
1253
01:28:20,636 --> 01:28:23,935
l was thinking about
orange the other day.
1254
01:28:24,907 --> 01:28:25,965
The color.
1255
01:28:26,876 --> 01:28:29,140
You take it for granted, right?
1256
01:28:30,012 --> 01:28:32,276
The color orange.
But what is it, really?
1257
01:28:32,448 --> 01:28:34,439
-The color?
-Yeah.
1258
01:28:37,787 --> 01:28:40,950
But that's it. Just tell me,
what is orange?
1259
01:28:44,760 --> 01:28:49,026
-l don't know.
-That's my point. You take it for granted.
1260
01:28:49,198 --> 01:28:51,928
You don't think about stuff like that.
1261
01:28:52,101 --> 01:28:53,932
lt's just there.
1262
01:28:55,071 --> 01:28:58,472
Did John get you
that camera stuff you wanted?
1263
01:28:59,375 --> 01:29:00,603
Yeah.
1264
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:05,347
Yeah, finally.
1265
01:29:06,749 --> 01:29:10,685
-He can be a real drag.
-Yeah, Mom thinks he's a creep.
1266
01:29:10,853 --> 01:29:12,115
Yeah.
1267
01:29:13,656 --> 01:29:15,248
We'll see.
1268
01:29:16,525 --> 01:29:18,993
We'll see.
Gotta make some changes.
1269
01:29:21,130 --> 01:29:22,427
Anne.
1270
01:29:23,332 --> 01:29:25,960
No, no, don't hang up.
1271
01:29:26,736 --> 01:29:30,103
What do you mean, Debbie
doesn't come to the phone?
1272
01:29:33,109 --> 01:29:36,237
l ran into Bobby the other day.
1273
01:29:37,113 --> 01:29:39,138
l wanted to tell you.
1274
01:29:40,716 --> 01:29:42,707
No, no, hey-- Hey.
1275
01:29:42,885 --> 01:29:44,318
Annie?
1276
01:29:45,288 --> 01:29:47,017
Annie?
1277
01:29:48,190 --> 01:29:49,179
Annie!
1278
01:29:49,358 --> 01:29:52,293
Patti, it's an hour earlier in L.A.
1279
01:29:53,396 --> 01:29:54,693
lt is.
1280
01:29:57,967 --> 01:30:02,768
l'm so sorry about what happened
with Scotty's drawings at school, but--
1281
01:30:04,073 --> 01:30:05,062
No--
1282
01:30:07,677 --> 01:30:10,077
l've agreed to the counseling.
1283
01:30:12,648 --> 01:30:15,811
l'm offering you 50l50!
1284
01:30:15,985 --> 01:30:20,251
That's fair. That's--
That's more than fair.
1285
01:30:20,423 --> 01:30:22,516
l'm trying to be decent.
1286
01:30:23,726 --> 01:30:26,456
Well, l don't have that much money!
1287
01:30:27,129 --> 01:30:29,597
And don't call me
in my dressing room anymore.
1288
01:30:29,765 --> 01:30:32,757
That is where l prepare.
1289
01:30:35,271 --> 01:30:37,296
l'm sorry, l'm sorry.
1290
01:30:40,810 --> 01:30:42,277
Patti?
1291
01:30:44,580 --> 01:30:46,810
Okay, we'll talk then.
1292
01:30:54,957 --> 01:30:58,688
Back straight. Chest up.
1293
01:30:58,861 --> 01:31:01,386
Chin up. Smile.
1294
01:31:03,733 --> 01:31:06,167
''Your drink, key-holder.''
1295
01:31:07,837 --> 01:31:10,704
-How's your room?
-lt's okay.
1296
01:31:10,873 --> 01:31:13,307
l'm at the Sunburst.
1297
01:31:15,211 --> 01:31:17,577
How are rehearsals going?
1298
01:31:18,714 --> 01:31:20,545
That bitch.
1299
01:31:21,984 --> 01:31:23,417
What's wrong?
1300
01:31:25,021 --> 01:31:29,014
Why did l get married, Carp?
Once, you can understand.
1301
01:31:29,191 --> 01:31:31,659
l got married twice.
1302
01:31:33,329 --> 01:31:35,524
Patti showed up with Scotty.
1303
01:31:35,698 --> 01:31:37,097
-Yeah?
-No warning.
1304
01:31:37,266 --> 01:31:39,700
Just popped in town
to fuck with Bob's head.
1305
01:31:39,869 --> 01:31:41,166
My lawyer called.
1306
01:31:41,337 --> 01:31:46,798
She told him that Scotty has written
''Fuck Daddy'' on a wall somewhere.
1307
01:31:46,976 --> 01:31:51,606
ln the divorce papers, she says
that l showed him X-rated videos.
1308
01:31:52,715 --> 01:31:54,148
Did you?
1309
01:31:55,017 --> 01:31:57,918
l was editing.
He might've seen something.
1310
01:31:58,087 --> 01:32:01,147
lt's how it looks, John, you know?
1311
01:32:01,557 --> 01:32:04,185
-To the press.
-Right.
1312
01:32:06,595 --> 01:32:09,223
You can't give people a chance...
1313
01:32:10,499 --> 01:32:12,091
...to put you down.
1314
01:32:12,268 --> 01:32:14,964
-You know what l'm saying?
-l do.
1315
01:32:16,238 --> 01:32:17,637
You know...
1316
01:32:19,375 --> 01:32:21,468
...maybe you should go back to radio.
1317
01:32:21,644 --> 01:32:24,511
-You love radio.
-You heard radio lately?
1318
01:32:24,814 --> 01:32:27,840
lt's attacks on the president of the U.S.
Jokes.
1319
01:32:28,017 --> 01:32:30,918
-Yeah.
-Filthy jokes. They're very dirty.
1320
01:32:31,087 --> 01:32:35,490
-Rock. lt's not my bag.
-You know, l'm just trying to help, Bob.
1321
01:32:35,658 --> 01:32:37,216
l'm your friend.
1322
01:32:40,796 --> 01:32:43,287
You're my only friend, John.
1323
01:32:49,872 --> 01:32:51,635
What time is it?
1324
01:32:52,908 --> 01:32:54,808
lt's 7:30.
1325
01:32:54,977 --> 01:32:58,140
-We should go.
-l gotta change. Where we going?
1326
01:32:58,781 --> 01:33:00,408
Surf or turf?
1327
01:33:01,050 --> 01:33:02,415
Surf...
1328
01:33:02,585 --> 01:33:05,076
...and turf! Come on!
1329
01:33:06,355 --> 01:33:08,289
Yeah, Big Daddy.
1330
01:33:21,537 --> 01:33:23,198
Carpy?
1331
01:33:38,754 --> 01:33:40,278
John?
1332
01:33:49,899 --> 01:33:51,366
That you?
1333
01:34:00,876 --> 01:34:04,437
Word is, colonel, there'sgoing to be a surprise inspection.
1334
01:34:04,613 --> 01:34:08,174
I don't know about you, but ifthere's gonna be an inspection...
1335
01:34:08,350 --> 01:34:11,080
...I got things to hide.
1336
01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:18,922
My God, the building's on fire!
1337
01:34:19,094 --> 01:34:22,188
Look at all those police cars
and photographers.
1338
01:34:22,364 --> 01:34:23,661
Photographers?
1339
01:34:23,832 --> 01:34:25,891
Oh, my God, there's the mayor too!
1340
01:34:26,068 --> 01:34:27,797
ls my wife down there?
1341
01:34:27,970 --> 01:34:29,904
What does she look like?
1342
01:34:30,072 --> 01:34:32,267
l don't remember!
1343
01:34:39,715 --> 01:34:43,151
She's a fox.
Look at the caboose on her.
1344
01:34:46,822 --> 01:34:48,380
A day without sex...
1345
01:34:48,557 --> 01:34:51,117
-...is a day wasted.
-ls a day wasted. Yeah.
1346
01:34:52,828 --> 01:34:54,625
This place is dead.
1347
01:34:54,797 --> 01:34:57,766
Well, we still got time
to hit a strip joint.
1348
01:34:59,268 --> 01:35:01,236
Yeah, we need to talk.
1349
01:35:02,037 --> 01:35:04,198
l don't like the sound of that.
1350
01:35:04,373 --> 01:35:08,104
That's what a chick says
when she's gonna lower the boom.
1351
01:35:10,579 --> 01:35:12,513
Thinking about getting out.
1352
01:35:14,416 --> 01:35:15,815
Of what?
1353
01:35:17,319 --> 01:35:18,809
Whole scene.
1354
01:35:19,021 --> 01:35:21,581
-Whole what scene?
-The dinner theater.
1355
01:35:21,757 --> 01:35:24,419
-All the rest.
-Excuse me. l'm confused.
1356
01:35:24,593 --> 01:35:28,256
The road. The hustling.
The broads. The whole thing.
1357
01:35:28,430 --> 01:35:31,228
You mean me.
l'm part of the whole thing?
1358
01:35:31,400 --> 01:35:36,303
Well, without the dinner theater,
we'd see each other less.
1359
01:35:36,472 --> 01:35:39,032
l want to restart my career.
1360
01:35:39,808 --> 01:35:41,867
You're kidding, right?
1361
01:35:45,414 --> 01:35:48,383
-Well, what about my equipment?
-Good news.
1362
01:35:48,550 --> 01:35:51,246
You can keep it. l'll buy my own.
1363
01:35:51,420 --> 01:35:54,389
You're gonna buy a Betacam, right?
1364
01:35:54,556 --> 01:35:58,014
Nobody needs John Carpenter.
You just buy a Betacam.
1365
01:35:58,193 --> 01:36:01,788
Tommy Smothers bought Betacam.
Dick Martin. And now you.
1366
01:36:01,964 --> 01:36:04,296
-What about me?
-You'll be okay.
1367
01:36:04,466 --> 01:36:08,459
We got a good thing going,
Big Daddy. Why ruin it?
1368
01:36:08,637 --> 01:36:10,798
You'll be all right.
1369
01:36:11,573 --> 01:36:13,700
l see. l'm like Anne and Patti.
1370
01:36:13,876 --> 01:36:15,901
You find a better deal,
and dump me.
1371
01:36:16,078 --> 01:36:18,979
l'm sick of scoring broads
for you, okay?
1372
01:36:20,582 --> 01:36:23,517
There. l said it.
1373
01:36:23,686 --> 01:36:26,416
What am l, a drag?
A drag on your career?
1374
01:36:26,588 --> 01:36:30,490
Who's always been there for you?
When you were moping?
1375
01:36:30,659 --> 01:36:33,719
''Oh, John, John,
nobody wants to hire me!''
1376
01:36:33,896 --> 01:36:35,488
Flying around the country.
1377
01:36:35,664 --> 01:36:37,928
Hauling your shit from the airport.
Taking seconds!
1378
01:36:38,100 --> 01:36:41,729
l'm a drag? Well,
you're a fucking loser.
1379
01:36:41,904 --> 01:36:44,532
-Bob Crane's a loser!
-l ain't a loser!
1380
01:36:45,474 --> 01:36:48,409
Bob Crane ain't a loser.
You brought Bob Crane down!
1381
01:36:48,577 --> 01:36:52,206
-Bob Crane is a good guy!
-Bob, let's not do this.
1382
01:36:52,381 --> 01:36:53,939
Please.
1383
01:36:54,316 --> 01:36:57,479
John, you're my friend.
1384
01:36:58,587 --> 01:36:59,918
Okay?
1385
01:37:00,923 --> 01:37:03,517
You'll always be my friend.
1386
01:37:07,062 --> 01:37:11,556
Shit. l'm supposed to call Carolyn.
About the Jacuzzi party.
1387
01:37:38,394 --> 01:37:40,453
-Hello?
-Hey, it's John.
1388
01:37:40,629 --> 01:37:42,426
-How's it going?
-All right.
1389
01:37:42,598 --> 01:37:43,690
-You alone?
-Yeah.
1390
01:37:43,866 --> 01:37:45,891
You didn't score?
1391
01:37:46,068 --> 01:37:50,471
Man, I'm in my damn shorts.How about you?
1392
01:37:51,073 --> 01:37:55,908
Negative. l had to drive her
halfway out to nowhere.
1393
01:37:58,514 --> 01:38:01,347
-What happened?
-She said, ''No way. ''
1394
01:38:01,517 --> 01:38:03,280
Well, what do you mean?
1395
01:38:03,452 --> 01:38:05,943
She wouldn't let mecome to her place.
1396
01:38:06,121 --> 01:38:08,055
She wouldn't come to my place.
1397
01:38:08,223 --> 01:38:12,091
-Boy, I don't need that.
-Christ!
1398
01:38:14,029 --> 01:38:15,462
Bob?
1399
01:38:17,666 --> 01:38:21,193
You know, l was thinking....
1400
01:38:21,370 --> 01:38:22,928
You know...
1401
01:38:24,473 --> 01:38:28,569
...if l said anything
earlier tonight that....
1402
01:38:28,744 --> 01:38:32,510
-Don't worry about it.
-Well, you know, l....
1403
01:38:34,883 --> 01:38:37,317
-Did you think about it?
-What's that?
1404
01:38:37,486 --> 01:38:39,545
You know. What we talked about.
1405
01:38:41,857 --> 01:38:45,384
You know, what we talked about.
1406
01:38:45,561 --> 01:38:48,121
Yeah, I need to take a break.
1407
01:38:48,297 --> 01:38:52,358
I just, you know,this thing with Patti. All of it.
1408
01:38:52,534 --> 01:38:55,935
I need a break.I need a break, I need a break.
1409
01:38:58,440 --> 01:39:00,374
You know, I'm sorry.
1410
01:39:00,542 --> 01:39:02,635
You'll change your mind.
1411
01:39:03,045 --> 01:39:05,445
I'll change my mind?Are you deaf?
1412
01:39:07,015 --> 01:39:09,074
What the fuck's wrong with you?
1413
01:39:09,251 --> 01:39:11,651
Kaput. All right?
1414
01:39:12,421 --> 01:39:15,515
We're still friends, right?
1415
01:39:16,859 --> 01:39:19,123
You need a ride tomorrowto the airport?
1416
01:39:19,294 --> 01:39:21,353
I got a luncheon at noon.
1417
01:39:23,832 --> 01:39:25,800
-John?
-Don't bother.
1418
01:39:25,968 --> 01:39:29,233
-Just don't fucking bother.
-Okay.
1419
01:39:29,404 --> 01:39:32,134
Don't get all worked up.I gotta get some sleep.
1420
01:39:32,307 --> 01:39:36,334
-Bob?
-I'll give you a call sometime, Carpy.
1421
01:41:07,002 --> 01:41:11,632
The investigationwas not well handled.
1422
01:41:13,075 --> 01:41:15,908
Scottsdale was a small townback then.
1423
01:41:16,078 --> 01:41:19,138
They suspected Carpy,but didn't prosecute.
1424
01:41:19,314 --> 01:41:22,010
Not a solid case, they said.
1425
01:41:22,618 --> 01:41:25,052
This was before DNA.
1426
01:41:25,220 --> 01:41:29,520
Fourteen years later, a new districtattorney brought him up for trial.
1427
01:41:29,691 --> 01:41:32,524
John told them, ''He was my friend.
1428
01:41:32,694 --> 01:41:34,787
Why would I kill him?''
1429
01:41:35,230 --> 01:41:38,427
Evidence had been lost,memories faded.
1430
01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:39,965
He was acquitted.
1431
01:41:40,135 --> 01:41:43,195
Four years later,he died of a heart attack.
1432
01:41:44,072 --> 01:41:46,199
I can't blame him.
1433
01:41:46,375 --> 01:41:49,344
He was a cool guy, in his way.
1434
01:41:50,445 --> 01:41:52,504
That's how it is.
1435
01:41:52,681 --> 01:41:55,582
Men gotta have fun.111257
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