Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:12,577
♪♪ Da da da da da da da da da ♪
2
00:00:12,621 --> 00:00:16,799
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
3
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:20,716
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
4
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:23,849
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪
5
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:27,549
♪ You want love
but you fear it ♪
6
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,812
♪ Your attention...
7
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:32,075
So here it is:
The end of the road.
8
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,164
My last night serving.
9
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:37,080
My last night wearing
this ridiculous outfit.
10
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:40,344
No more standing over people
as they talk, and text,
11
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,738
and Tweet, and update
their Facebook profiles,
12
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,175
and basically
completely ignore me.
13
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:49,875
No more smiling like an idiot for
photos with families I barely even know.
14
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:53,662
Honestly, are they really going to put a picture
of their waiter in their family photo album?
15
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:56,099
I mean, how lame is that?
16
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,623
No more dealing with Barb
and her oh-so-delightful
17
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,886
multiple personality disorder.
18
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:04,499
- I'll clean it up, I'll clean it up.
- Surprise!
19
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:08,416
No more ambushes from Tommy,
with his Taco Bell-flavoured "cuppies".
20
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,679
Mmm! Love it, buddy! Love it!
21
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,898
[Coughing]
22
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:17,120
No more always bumping
into... that guy.
23
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,949
OK, I have to admit,
I will miss the two Akbars.
24
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,778
Their heated debates
about Darwin, world politics,
25
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:26,651
and... something relativism
are always fascinating.
26
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,611
But hey, what do you expect from the
two most educated guys in the place?
27
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:32,092
Whoa, I almost forgot:
No more getting roped into
28
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:34,877
attending another one of
Simon's always-creatively-titled
29
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,967
but-extremely-painful
one-man shows.
30
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,187
- Tommy!
- Oh... Ah!
31
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:45,148
So, as I venture off into the
sunset, is there any one thing
32
00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,150
I can say I've learned
for certain?
33
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:50,240
Well, I guess it's that people
can be pretty shitty sometimes.
34
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:53,243
Not that I blame them.
I mean, let's be honest:
35
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:56,203
Most people don't have
any real power in their lives.
36
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,292
But the moment they sit down
in my restaurant
37
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,164
and I approach their table,
they're the boss,
38
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,166
they're finally in charge
of someone.
39
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:06,430
And let me tell you, some
people take that to heart.
40
00:02:06,474 --> 00:02:08,780
And it only makes things worse
that they assume
41
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:11,305
my kindness is fake, that
I'm only being nice to them
42
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:14,177
because I want a big tip.
And that's not true.
43
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,310
Well, OK, maybe
it's a little true,
44
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:19,878
but it's not the only reason.
Look, it's a server's job
45
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:22,142
to be nice to people
whether they like it or not.
46
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:25,232
It's not like we can be honest
with them, right?
47
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:28,148
Anyway, none of that matters
anymore because tonight
48
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:30,889
I'll walk out of those doors
for good. And I gotta say,
49
00:02:30,933 --> 00:02:33,196
I can't wait.
50
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,156
So, here's how it's going
to go down:
51
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,984
Come closing time,
all the idiots once again
52
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,465
risk life and limb
on that death trap.
53
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,554
I'll wait to break the news
to Godfrey.
54
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,556
Now, I haven't told anybody
I'm quitting,
55
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,950
just like we talked about.
I want things to be nice
56
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:51,083
and clean... no casualties.
57
00:02:51,127 --> 00:02:53,216
Woohoo!
58
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,479
Unlike the deathtrap.
59
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,916
So when the moment of truth
arrives, I'll be ready.
60
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,397
- Is he OK?
- [Man]: Good to go, boss!
61
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:07,187
I've been waiting three years for this
moment, and nothing is gonna stop me.
62
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,626
- OK, baby.
- This might sting a little.
63
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:14,324
Whoa, whoa. What are you doing
down there? Whoa, that hurts!
64
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:17,240
Ugh! Jesus, Josh.
65
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:20,461
- I was trying to give you an early birthday gift.
- I know. It's just
66
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:23,551
it doesn't feel like a gift
when you skewer me, that's all.
67
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,944
Maybe try a card next time?
68
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:29,644
- Fine. I'm sorry.
- I just thought maybe if I tried
69
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:32,124
something new, you know?
Things haven't exactly been
70
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:35,693
working out for you...
I mean us... recently.
71
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:38,392
I can't believe you would
bring that up. That was one time.
72
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,959
This is not a regular-
situations hip.
73
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:43,721
Yes, I know. I just thought things would
be better now that you're finally finished
74
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:46,182
working at that damn restaurant.
75
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,707
No, you know what? Forget it.
Let's just, let's just put this behind us.
76
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,859
Now, I want to hear how your
final shift went last night.
77
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:55,974
Did you end up spitting
in anyone's food?
78
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:59,021
Not that anybody would notice
in that dump.
79
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:02,807
Josh? Come on, Josh.
How'd it go?
80
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,682
- I'm sorry, what?
- Oh my God, Josh. Please say you quit.
81
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:10,206
- OK. "You quit." What?
- That's not what you wanted?
82
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,861
Josh, for God's sakes,
just be honest with me.
83
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:15,385
- Fine. I masturbate in the shower.
- Josh!
84
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,450
- What? I'm being honest.
- I even do it at your apartment.
85
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,346
Oh, my God.
86
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,609
Jenny, come back
into the apartment!
87
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:22,871
No!
88
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:26,483
- Jenny, come back!
- Why?
89
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,791
So I can watch you make babies
with your bathtub? No thanks!
90
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,639
- Well, that's the last time I'm honest with you, isn't it?
- No. No jokes.
91
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,512
- You were supposed to quit two weeks ago!
- I'm sorry. It didn't come up.
92
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:38,495
You bring it up! That's how
quitting works! God! You put in
93
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:41,106
your 3 years. Your dad is gonna
give you the money that you need
94
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:44,458
- to go to law school. Isn't that what you wanted?
- I wrote my LSATs, didn't I?
95
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,392
- Did you? I don't know!
- Where are your scores? They were
96
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:49,245
- supposed to be here a week ago.
- I know. I'll call again.
97
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:54,119
This waitering job was always just
temporary, Josh. You said so yourself!
98
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:57,229
- You're not allowed to set foot in there ever again!
- Jenny, I can't quit like that!
99
00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,429
- You had your chance.
- Last night was supposed
100
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,214
to be your final shift, and
as far as I'm concerned, it was.
101
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,869
- Jenny, wait.
- No. Josh, no.
102
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:07,089
I made dinner reservations
tonight at Halo Grill
103
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:11,920
at eight o'clock. If you haven't quit
by then, then don't bother showing up.
104
00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:14,618
No, Jenny... I mean, wait. I
105
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:17,534
I need your keys
to my apartment.
106
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,363
You mean these keys?
107
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:23,366
Yes, those.
108
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,063
Oops.
109
00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,674
Nice.
110
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:29,154
- Eight o'clock!
- Shit.
111
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:43,299
That's the last time, Josh!
112
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,170
I'm sorry, Gretchen!
113
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,566
OK, so I chickened out again.
114
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:53,048
But tonight will truly be
my last night, I swear.
115
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:57,269
So I bid you adieu, TRUBLEEVER,
116
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:59,707
my most faithful reader. It's
been a pleasure serving you
117
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:04,364
all these years. Keep well,
and remember: Tip your waiter.
118
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:21,685
♪♪ Yeah better place your bets
on this guy ♪
119
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:24,427
♪ Create this effortless
♪ Don't just try things...
120
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,211
This is bullshit!
121
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,561
Come on, God,
122
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,476
show me a spot!
123
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:32,217
[Heavenly chiming]
124
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,397
Glory, hallelujah!
125
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:42,140
[Snickering]
126
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,881
[Tires squealing]
127
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,883
[Horn honking] [She growls]
128
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:48,016
Oh, yeah.
129
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:52,673
You move that piece of crap
right now!
130
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,458
- Out!
- Who's talking?
131
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:58,418
God, is that you?
132
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:01,986
- It's me, you fucking little twit.
- Holy moly.
133
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,772
Lady, your lips don't move
when you talk. That is nuts.
134
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,861
You're like a ventriloquist
of your own face!
135
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:09,211
- Move the fucking car.
- Sorry, no can do.
136
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:12,997
You should use that handicapped space over
there. The way you look, no one will say shit.
137
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:18,046
- Don't mess with me.
- I am warning you!
138
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,851
I think it's a little late to be worried
about people messing with you.
139
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,660
- The damage is done, lady.
- Ha ha ha ha.
140
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:26,837
Fucking little shithead. Idiot.
141
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:30,188
Who the fuck do you think
you are?
142
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:33,714
Yeah, asshole.
I'm talking to you.
143
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,542
You fucking deaf, or what?
144
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:38,501
Now get the fuck out of here.
145
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:42,331
You weren't built for illegal
underground kickboxing!
146
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:50,557
You are nailing it, mister.
147
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,690
Yo, Simon, did I just hear
you say you're nailing some guy?
148
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,432
Yeah, your father,
and he loves it.
149
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:01,742
- Joke's on you.
- My dad's dead. Booyah!
150
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:04,832
No, I was going over lines
from an audition I had this morning.
151
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:08,313
I'm up for the role of Thug #6.
152
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,968
- Pow!
- Thug #6? Did they see your heads hot, brother?
153
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:16,539
Lick me, Tommy. I was awesome.
154
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,541
And I'm going to get a callback.
155
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,935
- Gentlemen.
- Hey, Josh. What's going on?
156
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,503
What are you doing here,
Joshua? I thought
157
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:26,462
your lady was taking you out
for your birthday tonight.
158
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,508
Yeah, she is.
159
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,858
Look, guys, I'm glad
you're both here, because...
160
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:33,121
Oh, hey, I'm glad
you're here too, buddy.
161
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,124
You guys are about
to bask in the glow
162
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:40,868
of my new crotch-soaking plates.
Huh? Huh?
163
00:08:40,911 --> 00:08:43,348
"STD muffin"?
164
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,743
- No, dude. "Stud muffin."
- I don't think so.
165
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:50,442
Yeah. If that's what you wanted, you should
have put the U in the first word. See?
166
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,967
Like anybody would get
"muffin" from "MFN"? Come on!
167
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,969
- They would.
- They wouldn't, Simon!
168
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,841
Yeah, they would. And why didn't
you just use two U's, anyway? Bro,
169
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,409
you're allowed eight characters.
We went through this last year
170
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:02,890
- with your "hug dick" plates...
- "Huge dick"! They say
171
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:05,283
- "huge dick"!
- Relax.
172
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,764
Nobody's judging you.
You want to hug huge dicks
173
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,288
or whatever, you go right ahead.
But I think you ought to let
174
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:14,031
- those dudes know about your STD, OK, muffin?
- Yeah, Tommy. It's only fair.
175
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:16,904
Fuck you guys.
176
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,993
Well, that's...
177
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,777
Well, this is
pretty last-minute.
178
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:23,040
Well, how bad is it?
179
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:28,437
Well, I mean, just on a scale of
one to 10, how bad is your diarrhoea?
180
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,919
Ten. All right, well, you know
what? It was an inverted scale,
181
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:34,748
so that means you're fine!
So get down here right...
182
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,750
Well, I... OK, OK, OK.
183
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:40,405
But would you consider
wearing Depends?
184
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:44,409
How is that degrading?
Astronauts wear them!
185
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:47,543
Oh, so what? So you're better than an
astronaut? Is that... [Knocking at door]
186
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:52,200
- All right, OK, fine. Bye. - Godfrey? You got a second?
- Josh, I'm so glad to see you.
187
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:54,613
You didn't have any of those
chicken wings last night, did you?
188
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,639
No, I don't like chicken wings.
189
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,815
Well, that's crazy,
but I'm glad to hear it.
190
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,817
- Look...
- Yeah, I told them to throw
191
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:03,733
those things out eons ago,
but nobody listens to me.
192
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,668
And now I've got half my staff
out with their asses
193
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,868
gushing shit like
an out-of-control fire hose.
194
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:11,219
- That's really graphic. I didn't need to know that.
- I know you aren't scheduled
195
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:15,049
to work tonight, but could you do me a
solid? Huh? Come on. You can be first off.
196
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:18,052
And, and I'll throw in the meal. What
do you say? You know? Anything.
197
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:20,794
I mean, obviously not the
lobster. You know, or the steak.
198
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,815
You know, I'm thinking,
like a hamburger. You know,
199
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,798
- chicken strips. A potato.
- Godfrey, I.
200
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:27,539
[Phone ringing]
Yeah, hold that thought.
201
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:30,107
Hello, Ranch Steakhouse.
202
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:34,372
Big city place,
big country taste. How are...
203
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,722
What the fuck?
204
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,767
No, that's not OK!
205
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,335
No, you can't just... You have
to give someone some advanced
206
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:43,251
warning on this! No, I...
It's not acceptable!
207
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:45,906
I won't stand for it! Huh?
208
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:48,691
Fine. All right,
that's a good point.
209
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:55,393
Josh... the Germans are coming.
210
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:02,487
- That's never good.
- No. It's always terrible.
211
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:05,795
Yeah. The German company
that bought the restaurant,
212
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,731
they're... they're... they're sending
someone over from head office to audit us.
213
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:11,888
To audit us! I need
to ace this audit.
214
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,239
- Godfrey, honestly...
- You know, and you're my ace waiter. I can't ace this audit
215
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,502
without my ace waiter.
I need you to help me ace.
216
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,984
Look, I'm not going to beg,
but please. Please, please.
217
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,944
- Please. Please, please, please, please.
- That's pretty much begging.
218
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:27,774
- No, it's just really intense asking.
- Mm, but they're similar.
219
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:31,560
- Please. Please do this for me.
- I have a baby on the way.
220
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:34,781
- Another one? Really?
- I know. I know!
221
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:39,176
And my in-laws are Asian.
They are so judgmental, Josh.
222
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,486
You're fucking working?
223
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:48,011
Just until the end of the dinner rush.
I'll be off by eight o'clock, guaranteed.
224
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:50,144
No. No, just walk away
right now!
225
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:52,407
Jenny, I can't leave
my friends in the lurch.
226
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:55,038
- I have to do this. Then I'm out the door forever, I promise.
- Eight o'clock, Josh.
227
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,717
- Not a second later!
- Halo Grill is two blocks
228
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,457
from here. I'll be there
as soon as I can.
229
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:02,243
Eight o'clock,
eight o'clock, eight o'clock!
230
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:12,079
Aww! How is that even possible?!
231
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:16,126
♪♪♪
[Kitschy music]
232
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:23,743
- Ugh, Jesus! What died in here?
- Ha ha! You like that, huh?
233
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:27,050
Say goodbye to the last
of those chicken wings. Ba-kaw!
234
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:30,140
- How are you even standing?
- Guts of steel, brother.
235
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:34,275
I could swallow the Ebola virus and
not get sick. Nice outfit, by the way.
236
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,277
- Oh, shut up.
- I couldn't say no.
237
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,889
Yeah, God forbid you actually
have to spend time with your girlfriend.
238
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,693
I don't know where you're
going with this, but I'm really
239
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,937
not in the mood for one
of your lectures, OK Tommy?
240
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:46,809
- OK, all right, say no more.
- You're the boss.
241
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:50,030
Oh! What are you doing? Don't
touch me in the bathroom, Tommy!
242
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:53,381
- It's weird!
- Yeah. Get in there. Think you can just shut me up,
243
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,383
just like that?
Don't you know me?
244
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:58,342
I told you: I don't want to hear it!
I'm dealing with enough shit today!
245
00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:01,737
Yep. Well, you're going to have to
deal with a little more. Look behind you.
246
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,392
That's a sweet corn torpedo,
my friend.
247
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,090
God, Tommy,
what is your problem?
248
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,092
You! You are my problem!
249
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:11,834
You think you and Jenny are
this great couple? Think again!
250
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,663
When was the last time you said
anything nice about her, huh?
251
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:17,579
- Wha...
- When you first started working here, you used to rattle on
252
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,886
about Jenny:
"Oh, Jenny this, Jenny that."
253
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,864
We all thought you were
a fucking pole smoker, dude!
254
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:25,630
- Just open the door!
- And another thing:
255
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:29,417
- You avoid seeing her.
- What? No I don't! - Yes you do.
256
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,854
Just the other day, I caught you
lying to Jenny on the phone
257
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:35,336
about having to work late when you
were actually watching goddamn TV!
258
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:37,294
It was the playoffs!
259
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,340
- Please, man!
- It was the WNBA finals.
260
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:42,038
Oh, yeah.
261
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,649
Well, so what? I mean, what does
any of this prove, anyway?
262
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,651
It proves that you've got
to stop being
263
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:50,786
such a goddamn chickenshit
and ride... the... bull!
264
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,788
- You and that bull, Tommy!
- Enough!
265
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,616
No! Trust me, man.
266
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,618
I know what I'm talking about,
all right?
267
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,901
One ride on that baby, and you
will finally have the man-balls
268
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:03,059
to dump that miserable whore
and accept who you really are.
269
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,845
Face it: You're one of us now.
270
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,717
There.
271
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,286
I said what I had to say.
Come to Papa.
272
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,288
Just looking out for you, dude.
273
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,899
- Well, don't.
- Nobody asked you to.
274
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:20,903
And besides, I don't need to be thrown off
some poorly constructed mechanical deathtrap
275
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,688
to know that I've got my
priorities completely messed up.
276
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:28,868
- What? You think I actually want to be a waiter?
- Yeah, I do. You love this job.
277
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:32,654
You're crazy.
278
00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:35,265
And your breath smells
like a homeless man's dick.
279
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:38,878
That's the last time I give
your dad a blow job. Boom!
280
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,401
Tommy one, Josh...
281
00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:51,107
Oh, shit! It does stink.
282
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:56,896
Aw, no cups again?
Son of a bitch!
283
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,249
Oof! Ow!
284
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:05,121
Ha ha ha! Booyah, biatch!
285
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:10,692
And here we have our famous
286
00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,694
wall of wagon wheels.
287
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,523
And, oh, something I think
you'll find interesting:
288
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:18,961
This is an actual yoke
from an oxcart from a...
289
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,572
Howdy, partners.
290
00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:25,881
And right over here, we have a
lot of museum-quality exhibits...
291
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,318
- He speaks with a scary accent.
- I know.
292
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,974
No, Owen, boo-boo. You can't
make movies in the bathroom.
293
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:34,455
That's the babysitter's
private time.
294
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:37,110
No, baby, you can't put it
on the internet, OK?
295
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:40,983
Listen up: I wuv you. Bye.
296
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:44,334
Ugh. Lucky fucking me.
Not only do I get called in
297
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:46,293
on my day off,
but I have to work
298
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,817
- with you whiny little bitches.
- Wow. Nice, Barb.
299
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:51,013
Why don't you save some of that
tough talk for your kids, huh?
300
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:54,257
Please, asshole, do not tell
me how to raise my children.
301
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:58,914
And if you come near me with
one of those fart-fist fucking things,
302
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,090
- I will cut your dick off.
- It's called a cuppy.
303
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,179
Is it? Move, sister.
304
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:07,967
Oh, hairy tainted balls.
Look at this. This is it?
305
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,970
This is going to be a total
shit show! Who is hosting?
306
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:13,798
Oh, Jesus, no.
307
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:17,150
- Hi, y'all!
- [All]: Hi, Chrissy.
308
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,979
OMG. I hope
you guys are enjoying
309
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:23,199
your F-to-F, because tonight is
going to be totally OTH.
310
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:26,115
We've got mega-rezzies,
plus it's a Saturday.
311
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:28,335
TGIS, right?
312
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,859
Uh, Chrissy, why is the name
"Alex" written next to mine?
313
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,383
Hello! PSA:
314
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:37,431
Green grease pencil means
trainee. He starts at 6:30.
315
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,869
What? No, I can't train someone. I've
got to be out of here as soon as possible.
316
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:44,153
Oh, hey, no. Don't look at me. Until that
lawsuit's settled, I can't train anyone.
317
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:48,616
Relax. I'll take him. I like having
first dibs on new meat, anyway. Rawr.
318
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:51,967
What does it matter who takes him?
No one's getting out of here anytime soon.
319
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,970
And who is the freak
with the man-purse?
320
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:58,104
Oh, yeah, it's one of our new
German commandants.
321
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:00,410
What do you think
he's saying to Godfrey?
322
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:05,024
"And zis is where ve vill put ze firing
squad. And over here, ze gas chamber.
323
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,939
And over here, I'm sinking
of putting a nice garden."
324
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:12,509
Franz, can I introduce you
to these happy campers here?
325
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:15,338
This is our serving staff.
Everyone,
326
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,123
a big welcome for Franz.
327
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:22,606
Franz, maybe I could have
a moment with the staff here.
328
00:17:22,650 --> 00:17:24,913
And perhaps you'd like
to inspect our kitchen.
329
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,655
Yes. I am very interested
in your ovens.
330
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:31,050
- [Barb]: Are you?
- Come on.
331
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,530
Shut up! I know. Shut up.
332
00:17:33,574 --> 00:17:35,967
Come on, guys. I need you
to help me out here, all right?
333
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:39,667
I know no one is happy about Heindschlap
Industries taking over the company, you know?
334
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:43,671
Especially in light of the recent
scandal. Tonight is a big night.
335
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:46,108
We can't have any mistakes.
No big mistakes.
336
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:49,329
And I am not singling Tommy out.
337
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:52,810
Now, we all know what happened when they
audited the King Street location, right?
338
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,422
And could that happen here?
Yeah, that could happen here.
339
00:17:55,465 --> 00:18:00,122
Is it gonna happen here? No, it is not
gonna happen here. You know why?
340
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:03,125
Because we are Ranchers, and
I know that if we work together
341
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:06,476
as a team, there is nothing
this night can throw at us
342
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,392
that we can't handle.
Am I right?
343
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:12,526
Huh? 'Cause if not,
then I... I'm going to take
344
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,547
one of those rifles down off the
wall, and I'm going to just
345
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,549
Kurt Cobain it, right here in
the middle of the dining room.
346
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,793
And I will just end it
right here, just
347
00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:22,884
boom! Blam! And I'll get your
attention first so you're looking.
348
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,582
And you will live with that
image for the rest of your lives.
349
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:28,803
And you know how much
I'm joking? This much!
350
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:31,240
Just this much!
351
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:34,200
Don't make me joke less than
that. I mean, when these touch,
352
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,463
it's not joking anymore.
All right?
353
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:40,641
So who's with me tonight? Who's
on my side? Who's a Rancher?
354
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,861
- Who's a Rancher tonight?
- Yes! Yes, Godfrey! - Yeah, OK.
355
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,863
- That's fine.
- Giddy up.
356
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:48,605
Ah, that was inspiring.
357
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:52,305
I'm... so filled
with confidence now.
358
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:03,316
Godfrey, come see this.
359
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,318
Ah. Yes, Franz?
360
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:07,537
- What do you see?
- Uh...
361
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,539
It is a dirty oven.
362
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,674
I'm watching you, Godfrey.
363
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,943
Whew.
364
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:29,342
- Thanks, Diego.
- I knew you'd have my back.
365
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,519
♪♪♪
366
00:19:41,049 --> 00:19:43,182
Hi, y'all!
367
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,096
Hi, y'all!
368
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,796
Hi, y'all!
369
00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,537
Hi, y'all.
370
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:54,193
[Clanging] Stampede!
371
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,804
Ranch Steakhouse. Big city...
Please speak up... Please hold.
372
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:59,807
Ranch Steakhouse.
Big city... Please hold.
373
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,809
- Faster. Faster!
- I'm going as fast...
374
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,290
Cosmos now? Really?
375
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:09,033
- Pick up! - Just relax.
- All right!
376
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:11,819
I told them there wasn't
enough staff. You will move!
377
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:15,736
- St. Lucia. St. Lucia!
- Out of my bar! - Please. Please.
378
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,651
Five minutes.
379
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:20,610
- Oh, my God.
- Great.
380
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:24,353
This is in violation
of policy. Take it down.
381
00:20:24,397 --> 00:20:26,007
Put this up.
382
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,270
♪♪♪
383
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:31,926
- All right, Franz.
- Get back. Get back! Thank you very much. Get back.
384
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,885
- No, no. No, no, no, sir. Not you. Not you.
- Chrissy.
385
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,540
- Party of eight, Josh.
- Party?! No, no. No party.
386
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,301
- They're standing right there!
- Party? Party!
387
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:43,242
♪♪♪
388
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,592
Nein, nein, nein, nein!
389
00:20:45,635 --> 00:20:49,378
- Godfrey!
- Hey, Mexico!
390
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:52,294
Learn how to read, amigo!
I need fries with the ribs,
391
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:55,254
and I need a baked potato with
the chicken! Let's go, let's go!
392
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:58,822
- There. Are you happy now?
- Stop! Stop!
393
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:01,303
Stop it! Stop it! No! No!
394
00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:03,566
It's a dirty potato!
It's a dirty potato!
395
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,307
I deny you! I deny you!
396
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,614
- Put the potato back!
- I will not!
397
00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:09,790
[Yelling]
398
00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,664
"Dirty potato."
399
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,845
Our hostess will be
right with you gentlemen.
400
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:25,022
- Oof!
- Oh! So sorry. My fault.
401
00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:27,808
- No, no. It's me.
- I'm in my own world.
402
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:31,377
Oh, um...
403
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:33,379
Wow. I'm usually
much better at this.
404
00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:36,382
Me too. I walk around people
all the time.
405
00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,688
Uh, table for one?
406
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:41,125
- Jo shy. There you are.
- I just sat you again.
407
00:21:41,169 --> 00:21:43,127
It's Donnie and Edna.
Sorry, you were up.
408
00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:45,478
Hiya. I'm Chrissy.
Can I help you?
409
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:49,308
Yeah. I'm here to see Godfrey. I'm
Alexandra Wells. I'm starting today.
410
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:54,835
- Oh, you're Alex! You betcha. Let me find him for you, OK?
- Oh. OK.
411
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:57,925
It's my first day.
412
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:01,885
No, sweetie,
we talked about this.
413
00:22:01,929 --> 00:22:04,845
No, you can't keep putting
Sprinkles in the dryer.
414
00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:07,195
Well, because
it makes kitty sick!
415
00:22:07,238 --> 00:22:09,980
Yes, remember? Remember Bunny?
416
00:22:10,024 --> 00:22:12,505
All right. All right, honey.
Please, just do me a favour:
417
00:22:12,548 --> 00:22:15,508
You and your brother let him
out, OK? OK. All right.
418
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:17,510
Oh, shit.
Mommy's gotta go, sweetie.
419
00:22:17,553 --> 00:22:20,643
- Simon, you back here?
- Can I please have... - Whoa!
420
00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:24,691
[Groaning in pain]
421
00:22:26,693 --> 00:22:28,738
Careful. Floor's wet.
422
00:22:31,262 --> 00:22:34,483
- Fuck you, Barb.
- Is anybody gonna help me?
423
00:22:34,527 --> 00:22:36,790
♪♪♪
424
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:39,880
- Why are the Akbars shaking their heads?
- Oh, what do they know?
425
00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:41,838
Actually, I think
one of them is a doctor.
426
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:44,537
I told you.
427
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:47,540
- Whatever.
- On three. One, two...
428
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:50,369
[Groaning loudly]
Ooh, I think I got it!
429
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,327
I knew it.
430
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:55,243
I knew it.
431
00:22:55,286 --> 00:22:58,507
Agh, this is nasty.
When did this become acceptable?
432
00:22:58,551 --> 00:23:01,031
Mm.
433
00:23:01,075 --> 00:23:03,730
Eww, Tommy, gross!
434
00:23:03,773 --> 00:23:06,428
If anything's nasty,
it's dish-pit dining.
435
00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:08,188
Dude, what are you talking
about, man? This plate is
436
00:23:08,212 --> 00:23:11,259
from table 34. And that chick?
Smoking hot.
437
00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:13,261
What does that have to do
with anything?
438
00:23:13,304 --> 00:23:15,282
Dude, it has everything to do
with it, man. If I can picture
439
00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:18,919
myself playing tongue-ilingus
with her, her food: Fair game.
440
00:23:18,962 --> 00:23:20,921
Hmm. Actually,
that's a good theory.
441
00:23:23,227 --> 00:23:24,881
Mmm.
442
00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:27,014
Did you see her boyfriend's ass?
443
00:23:27,057 --> 00:23:28,624
Yum! Oh.
444
00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:32,106
Joshua, Barb says if you want
your trainee back, no probby,
445
00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:33,499
she's yours.
446
00:23:36,545 --> 00:23:39,026
- What? Thank you.
- What? Why are you smiling?
447
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:43,465
Yes, Alex is a she. So what?
I'm only taking her back because.
448
00:23:43,509 --> 00:23:45,675
Godfrey assigned her to
me. She's my responsibility.
449
00:23:45,699 --> 00:23:46,773
Oh, she's your respon...
450
00:23:46,816 --> 00:23:49,795
Bullshit, man! I know what you're
fucking doing. It's a bad idea. All right?
451
00:23:49,819 --> 00:23:52,039
You're going to go through
the same thing with this girl
452
00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:54,800
that you're going through with Jenny. Girls
our age, they're not good for us, man.
453
00:23:54,824 --> 00:23:57,305
They're all fucking full
of agendas. It's all hassle.
454
00:23:57,348 --> 00:23:59,501
So, what, I should be going
after Teenie boppers like you?
455
00:23:59,525 --> 00:24:01,633
Pfft! Teenie boppers? Josh,
where have you been, brother?
456
00:24:01,657 --> 00:24:03,485
They're so old-news, man.
457
00:24:03,529 --> 00:24:05,487
First of all,
they're lousy in bed.
458
00:24:05,531 --> 00:24:08,229
And second of all, they all have
fucking severe ADD.
459
00:24:08,272 --> 00:24:10,405
I was banging this one tart
two weeks ago.
460
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,407
She was fucking Tweeting
the whole time, man!
461
00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:16,150
She's: "Oh. Now he's behind me.
Oh. Now he's on top of me. Oh.
462
00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:18,152
Tommy, can you stop
so I can press Enter?"
463
00:24:18,195 --> 00:24:21,895
Fuck that shit, man!
My new obsession is
464
00:24:21,938 --> 00:24:24,637
a little older
and a whole lot wiser:
465
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,422
Middle-aged moms.
466
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:30,512
Huh? Huh?
467
00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:33,733
- And I'm done.
- And I'm not talking your standard hot cougars
468
00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:37,606
either, man. I'm talking,
like, mom jeans, you know?
469
00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:39,608
Tucked-in blouses.
470
00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:42,524
And super-magnificent,
fully formed,
471
00:24:42,568 --> 00:24:44,526
apple-round gunt.
472
00:24:44,570 --> 00:24:46,920
"Gunt"?
473
00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:49,052
- Yeah, man. Yeah.
- It's that super-sexy
474
00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:52,447
- area, you know, where the gut meets the...
- Whoa, whoa, I get it.
475
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,928
Cunt.
476
00:24:54,971 --> 00:24:58,888
And when it comes to the cock,
these are the ladies that know their shit.
477
00:24:58,932 --> 00:25:02,544
And they do it all, man. I'll be grazing
anal all day long, and they fucking love it!
478
00:25:02,588 --> 00:25:04,720
- That's very poetic.
- I know, right?
479
00:25:04,764 --> 00:25:07,680
The way I see it, we came out
of these lovely ladies.
480
00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:10,160
Isn't it about time
we came in them?
481
00:25:19,996 --> 00:25:22,216
- Hi, y'all!
- Hi.
482
00:25:22,259 --> 00:25:24,261
Two adults, five kids, please.
483
00:25:24,305 --> 00:25:28,004
Uh, so three adults
and four kids.
484
00:25:28,048 --> 00:25:31,921
- No, two plus five. Can't you hear me?
- Kids are 12 and under, so...
485
00:25:31,965 --> 00:25:34,445
He's 12. You're 12, right?
486
00:25:34,489 --> 00:25:36,709
- I need a drink.
- Me too.
487
00:25:36,752 --> 00:25:39,015
That's cute. That's real cute.
488
00:25:39,059 --> 00:25:42,192
Right this way.
Oops. Watch the candies.
489
00:25:42,236 --> 00:25:44,325
Oh! OK, let's cut
this silliness.
490
00:25:46,806 --> 00:25:48,416
Oh, God, no.
491
00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:51,201
Don't turn left.
Don't turn left!
492
00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:52,768
- Don't turn right!
- Don't turn right!
493
00:25:52,812 --> 00:25:55,945
We're going to try
over there, OK?
494
00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:58,992
Roundy-round, here we go.
495
00:25:59,035 --> 00:26:02,343
Oh, yeah. Yeah, keep going,
Chrissy. Daddy likes that.
496
00:26:02,386 --> 00:26:04,606
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, Daddy likes that!
497
00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:09,306
- Keep going. - Oh, hey, Josh, Josh. OK.
- Either you or me, partner.
498
00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:11,918
Well, I hope it's you, Barb. I
mean, you're so good with kids.
499
00:26:11,961 --> 00:26:14,181
- Mm-hmm.
- Ow!
500
00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:16,202
OK. I think I'm going
to put you guys over here, OK?
501
00:26:16,226 --> 00:26:18,881
If you can just pry
your little hands off me there.
502
00:26:18,925 --> 00:26:21,405
- Shit!
- Justice.
503
00:26:21,449 --> 00:26:24,452
- Miss, excuse me.
- We like these two tables better.
504
00:26:24,495 --> 00:26:27,823
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's wrong with the table?
Don't not like the table. Love the table!
505
00:26:27,847 --> 00:26:30,632
- Oh. Oh! Crossing the aisle.
- Crossing the aisle!
506
00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:33,635
- Sorry, Joshua. Happy birthday.
- Have some crayons.
507
00:26:33,679 --> 00:26:36,638
Don't forget
the free refills, buddy.
508
00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:38,422
I am so fucked.
509
00:26:38,466 --> 00:26:41,512
Vas?
510
00:26:41,556 --> 00:26:43,253
You, follow me!
511
00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:45,342
- What are you doing?
- I... I...
512
00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:47,344
What are you doing?
513
00:26:47,388 --> 00:26:51,784
Why did you
just say that... that word?
514
00:26:51,827 --> 00:26:55,962
- I didn't mean for you to hear it.
- Me?! It's not about me.
515
00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:58,181
It's about your guests.
They are paying good money
516
00:26:58,225 --> 00:27:00,444
to have an evening out, yeah?
517
00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:02,359
And they shouldn't
have it ruined by some
518
00:27:02,403 --> 00:27:05,362
swearing waiter!
Isn't that right, Godfrey?
519
00:27:05,406 --> 00:27:08,757
- Yeah. Yes.
- Yes, Franz, that is right.
520
00:27:08,801 --> 00:27:11,586
That is definitely,
definitely right.
521
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,849
You, Josh, of all people,
should know better.
522
00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:16,069
Shame on you.
523
00:27:16,112 --> 00:27:20,464
You know, I am in fact
quite disappointed in you.
524
00:27:20,508 --> 00:27:24,077
I handpicked you to train our
new hire tonight. Alex! Alex, wait.
525
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:28,124
Yes, I hand-picked you to train
Alex tonight. But you know what?
526
00:27:28,168 --> 00:27:30,300
I don't want you
poisoning her mind.
527
00:27:30,344 --> 00:27:32,346
- Poisonous.
- With your poisonous
528
00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,740
bad attitudes. For the rest
529
00:27:34,783 --> 00:27:36,742
of the night, Alex,
you're going to be
530
00:27:36,785 --> 00:27:38,787
- trained by Barb.
- Yeah.
531
00:27:38,831 --> 00:27:41,224
- Off you go.
- [Franz]: Beat it.
532
00:27:41,268 --> 00:27:43,487
I understand you weren't
scheduled to work tonight,
533
00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:45,838
- but too bad.
- Yeah, too bad.
534
00:27:45,881 --> 00:27:48,492
Yes. You said yes, and here
you are, and here you'll stay.
535
00:27:48,536 --> 00:27:51,060
And if that means you have
to stay here till the bitter end
536
00:27:51,104 --> 00:27:54,498
tonight... then so be it!
537
00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:56,500
You got me, son?
538
00:27:56,544 --> 00:27:59,503
Yeah, got it.
539
00:28:01,767 --> 00:28:04,204
- Get out of here! Hit the rail!
- Back to work.
540
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:07,860
- Giddy up!
- Well, whew,
541
00:28:07,903 --> 00:28:11,690
- I'm really... I'm so sorry you had to witness that.
- I loved it.
542
00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:15,215
Yep, 12 and under, that's right.
543
00:28:15,258 --> 00:28:18,131
OK, thank you very much.
Bye bye.
544
00:28:18,174 --> 00:28:21,525
- Hi, y'all!
- Yeah, hi.
545
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:23,658
Is Josh Stein working tonight?
I'm a friend of his.
546
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:27,096
You betcha Deputy Josh is on
duty. Do you want to talk to him?
547
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:30,119
No, no, no, no. The "Deputy" doesn't know that
I'm in town, and I'd love to surprise him.
548
00:28:30,143 --> 00:28:34,495
Is there any chance that me and my
"posse" here could sit in his section?
549
00:28:34,538 --> 00:28:39,674
Well, his section's mostly full,
and I just sat him a party, so...
550
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:44,287
Well, maybe
this will change your mind.
551
00:28:44,331 --> 00:28:47,987
Just put us
in his fucking section.
552
00:28:48,030 --> 00:28:50,946
Party of three, right?
553
00:28:50,990 --> 00:28:52,731
- Yeah.
- OK.
554
00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:54,776
Thank you.
555
00:28:58,214 --> 00:29:01,652
Dude, what's up your butt? You
know, besides buckets of spunk.
556
00:29:01,696 --> 00:29:05,526
Not now, Tommy. My agent
just called. I didn't get the part.
557
00:29:05,569 --> 00:29:08,572
- They said I didn't come off straight enough.
- Or at all?
558
00:29:08,616 --> 00:29:12,707
- Thanks for the support, Tommy.
- Come on! Stop being such a girl, OK?
559
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:16,015
Shit, sorry, dude!
Look, I can't help myself!
560
00:29:16,058 --> 00:29:17,949
Thirty-three, thirty-four,
thirty-five, and then it skips
561
00:29:17,973 --> 00:29:20,193
to 40 along the tables, right?
562
00:29:20,236 --> 00:29:22,804
So 40 through 45. Not bad, huh?
563
00:29:22,848 --> 00:29:26,808
- Wow. She can count.
- Parents must be very proud.
564
00:29:26,852 --> 00:29:31,204
Hey, Jo shy. Looks like
you've got Donnie and Edna too.
565
00:29:31,247 --> 00:29:33,336
Hi! Yoohoo, Josh!
566
00:29:33,380 --> 00:29:35,338
- Here we are!
- Yeah, I'm a lucky guy.
567
00:29:35,382 --> 00:29:37,863
- Aren't you, though?
- Who are they? Regulars?
568
00:29:37,906 --> 00:29:41,344
World's worst: All work, no pay.
569
00:29:41,388 --> 00:29:43,172
Ow. Jeez, ow.
570
00:29:43,216 --> 00:29:45,914
Hi! Remember me? The one
with the low blood sugar.
571
00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:48,830
- How could I forget, Edna?
- Edna! You remember my name!
572
00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:51,659
I'm very flattered.
Oh, my goodness.
573
00:29:51,702 --> 00:29:54,053
Now, we're a little hungry.
I know you're very busy,
574
00:29:54,096 --> 00:29:56,031
but we have been sitting here
for a while. So if you could
575
00:29:56,055 --> 00:29:58,274
just, like, just hang here
for a second
576
00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:01,036
I just have to run this bread, and then
I'll be right back to take your order, OK?
577
00:30:01,060 --> 00:30:03,279
Oh. Well, no,
we're not ready to order yet.
578
00:30:03,323 --> 00:30:06,674
What we would like is a basket of that
lovely bread. But not those crappy rolls.
579
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:09,198
We like a French stick,
don't we, Donnie? And,
580
00:30:09,242 --> 00:30:13,246
if you have a second, we've got
some questions about the menu.
581
00:30:13,289 --> 00:30:16,640
You eat here twice a week. You
know as much about the menu as I do.
582
00:30:16,684 --> 00:30:20,557
Well now, what about substitutions?
Can we make substitutions?
583
00:30:20,601 --> 00:30:22,429
- You always do.
- What did he say, Donnie?
584
00:30:22,472 --> 00:30:25,127
I... I said it's up
to you, young lady.
585
00:30:25,171 --> 00:30:27,042
Young... Oh, you're so cute!
586
00:30:27,086 --> 00:30:30,480
Now, just before you go, I just
want to ask one more question.
587
00:30:30,524 --> 00:30:34,876
The minced steak, is that sirloin chopped
down or is that roast beef chopped down?
588
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,096
Because there's a big
difference, you know.
589
00:30:37,139 --> 00:30:40,186
- Yes.
- Yeah. Is it? OK, so... And does it have gravy?
590
00:30:40,229 --> 00:30:42,207
- Does it have gravy?
- Yeah, of course, it has gravy.
591
00:30:42,231 --> 00:30:45,191
- OK. They make the gravy here, do they?
- It's here now.
592
00:30:45,234 --> 00:30:48,281
Still! Vas is that?
593
00:30:48,324 --> 00:30:51,501
- Oh, it's apple juice. It's sort of a character...
- Let me smell it.
594
00:30:51,545 --> 00:30:55,331
- It's just apple juice.
- Put it down!
595
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,597
Agh. Single?
596
00:31:00,641 --> 00:31:03,209
Chrissy, you dumb fu...
597
00:31:05,907 --> 00:31:07,213
You!
598
00:31:07,256 --> 00:31:10,433
Me.
599
00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:14,046
[Spurs jangling]
600
00:31:14,089 --> 00:31:16,613
Listen, lady. Are you
still angry? I can't tell.
601
00:31:16,657 --> 00:31:18,615
- Your expression never changes.
- That's it.
602
00:31:18,659 --> 00:31:21,357
I'm going to complain.
603
00:31:21,401 --> 00:31:25,753
You know what? You should. That doctor
definitely has "some esplaining to do".
604
00:31:25,796 --> 00:31:29,583
No, I am going to complain
to your manager.
605
00:31:29,626 --> 00:31:32,499
- And you should.
- He is right over...
606
00:31:32,542 --> 00:31:34,501
- Say it! Say it!
- I am... proud.
607
00:31:34,544 --> 00:31:36,087
"I am proud to be part
of Heindschlap Industries!"
608
00:31:36,111 --> 00:31:40,899
- There. You know what?
- On second thought, I apologize
609
00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:43,292
for my rude behaviour.
Allow me to make it up to you.
610
00:31:43,336 --> 00:31:45,294
Ha! That's not possible.
611
00:31:45,338 --> 00:31:47,079
Look, whatever I said before...
612
00:31:47,122 --> 00:31:49,429
- Sir!
- Yes. Yes, Franz.
613
00:31:49,472 --> 00:31:53,346
- Sir!
- Come on! Stop being such a bi... ah...
614
00:31:53,389 --> 00:31:56,566
- All right, listen! I'm kidding!
- Yoohoo! Yoohoo! Oh, come here. Come here.
615
00:31:56,610 --> 00:32:00,135
Where are you looking? It's a customer.
It's a customer. Go to the customer.
616
00:32:00,179 --> 00:32:02,529
- I will... OK, I will...
- Godfrey, put it down!
617
00:32:02,572 --> 00:32:05,271
- OK. Thank you, Franz. I'll be right back.
- OK, OK, lady.
618
00:32:05,314 --> 00:32:10,058
Drinks are on me, OK? And... I'll
give you my undivided attention.
619
00:32:10,102 --> 00:32:11,668
I'll do anything!
620
00:32:13,670 --> 00:32:15,890
Hey.
621
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:18,545
Howdy, ma'am. Can I help you?
622
00:32:18,588 --> 00:32:22,331
I... would just like to say
623
00:32:22,375 --> 00:32:25,944
that this waiter
624
00:32:30,992 --> 00:32:32,341
is lovely.
625
00:32:37,868 --> 00:32:40,151
- Thank you. Thank you.
- That's certainly a lovely comp...
626
00:32:40,175 --> 00:32:42,873
That is a lovely compliment.
627
00:32:42,917 --> 00:32:45,746
- Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
- Uh-huh.
628
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:48,531
- You keep up the good work.
- Yes, sir.
629
00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,362
Bye.
630
00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:55,712
You really saved my ass.
631
00:32:55,756 --> 00:32:58,411
Get me a goddamn martini,
right now.
632
00:32:58,454 --> 00:33:00,108
Right away.
633
00:33:00,152 --> 00:33:02,023
And put a straw in it.
634
00:33:02,067 --> 00:33:04,199
- Sorry about that, Franz.
- Just a satisfied customer
635
00:33:04,243 --> 00:33:07,202
wanting to express
her satisfaction with the
636
00:33:07,246 --> 00:33:11,946
- service.
- Godfrey, may I speak to you in the office, please?
637
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:14,862
Of course, Franz. Of course.
638
00:33:14,905 --> 00:33:17,082
- Stop it.
- It's my drawing! Let go!
639
00:33:17,125 --> 00:33:19,780
So that's three chuck wagon
chicken fingers, three prairie
640
00:33:19,823 --> 00:33:21,521
dogs, and two highfalutin'
prime ribs.
641
00:33:21,564 --> 00:33:24,611
Uh-oh. I made a spill.
642
00:33:24,654 --> 00:33:27,788
Oh, uh-oh. I made a spill too.
643
00:33:27,831 --> 00:33:31,183
Those cups are horrible
for children.
644
00:33:31,226 --> 00:33:34,316
- Look how easily they tip over!
- I know. I'm sorry. - Kids,
645
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,165
why don't you go and wash up? And when you
come back, the waiter is going to take you
646
00:33:37,189 --> 00:33:39,800
- to ride on the bull.
- [Kids]: Yay!
647
00:33:39,843 --> 00:33:42,803
Yeah, the bull's actually for
birthday boys and girls only, so...
648
00:33:42,846 --> 00:33:44,761
- Yeah. It's their birthday...
- All of them.
649
00:33:44,805 --> 00:33:47,068
- Hmm?
- And we want cake. And singing.
650
00:33:47,112 --> 00:33:48,504
And another drink.
651
00:33:48,548 --> 00:33:50,854
[Slow clapping]
652
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,642
What is the little one's name
again?
653
00:33:57,861 --> 00:34:01,865
- Very good.
- That was well handled.
654
00:34:01,909 --> 00:34:04,955
- Sorry, gentlemen. I didn't see you there.
- Ah. No worries, Deputy Josh.
655
00:34:04,999 --> 00:34:09,221
It's exciting for us to see such an important
lawman dispensing his own brand of justice.
656
00:34:09,264 --> 00:34:11,919
And by "justice", I mean fries.
657
00:34:11,962 --> 00:34:15,966
- [Guys laughing] - Uh, have we met?
- Oh, I don't think so.
658
00:34:16,010 --> 00:34:18,404
Well, we clearly run
in different circles.
659
00:34:18,447 --> 00:34:22,321
I'm what you cowpokes would call
a "city slicker".
660
00:34:22,364 --> 00:34:25,106
- [Guys laughing]
- Waiter?
661
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:27,500
Waiter! Hurry!
The table is soaked!
662
00:34:27,543 --> 00:34:31,939
Josh? Josh? We just have a
few more questions about the menu.
663
00:34:31,982 --> 00:34:34,265
Bring us a bottle of your best
champagne when you return.
664
00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:36,248
See, tonight is a celebration.
665
00:34:36,291 --> 00:34:40,469
I just landed a plum residency
at St. Jude's. Gynecology.
666
00:34:40,513 --> 00:34:43,342
That's right: I'm going to be
elbow-deep in 'Gina all day
667
00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:46,040
and getting paid for it.
668
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:47,955
- Boom.
- Pssh!
669
00:34:53,221 --> 00:34:56,268
♪♪♪
670
00:34:56,311 --> 00:34:59,031
That is Belvedere vodka, ma'am... one
of our finest vodkas available.
671
00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:06,278
Toots, I know Belvedere,
and that is not Belvedere.
672
00:35:06,321 --> 00:35:08,976
I saw the bartender pour it
myself, ma'am.
673
00:35:11,848 --> 00:35:15,069
- Hm. I'll get you another.
- And hurry up.
674
00:35:17,767 --> 00:35:20,553
So, Deputy Josh.
675
00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:23,164
Do you have yourself a cowgirl,
or are you just a lone ranger?
676
00:35:23,208 --> 00:35:26,167
[Guys laughing]
677
00:35:26,211 --> 00:35:29,475
Yes, I've got a lady. We've
been together for four years.
678
00:35:29,518 --> 00:35:32,478
Four years. Huh.
679
00:35:32,521 --> 00:35:35,089
That's about the same length
of time it takes for someone
680
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,309
to go to medical school,
isn't it?
681
00:35:37,352 --> 00:35:39,224
Oh, I got it.
682
00:35:39,267 --> 00:35:41,487
It's Chaz, right?
683
00:35:41,530 --> 00:35:45,360
Chase. But feel free
to call me Dr. Van Haver.
684
00:35:45,404 --> 00:35:47,754
Yeah, you're Jenny's ex.
685
00:35:47,797 --> 00:35:50,278
- Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny...
- Oh! Yes, Jenny Brooks.
686
00:35:50,322 --> 00:35:52,976
Sure, I remember her.
Well, actually, of course I do.
687
00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:55,762
I mean, we had dinner together
just last Tuesday.
688
00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:58,330
[Camera clicks]
689
00:35:58,373 --> 00:36:00,506
Nice.
690
00:36:00,549 --> 00:36:02,769
Oh, you didn't know.
691
00:36:02,812 --> 00:36:05,728
Well, don't worry. We were just
catching up on old times.
692
00:36:05,772 --> 00:36:08,688
By the way she was talking,
I pegged you for a real loser.
693
00:36:08,731 --> 00:36:12,779
But now that we've met, I can see
that, well, she was being a little harsh.
694
00:36:12,822 --> 00:36:16,696
Not only are you a nice guy, but I
can tell you are one hell of a waiter.
695
00:36:16,739 --> 00:36:19,612
- Do you know what you want?
- Yeah.
696
00:36:19,655 --> 00:36:21,614
Yeah, I want you
out of the picture.
697
00:36:21,657 --> 00:36:23,635
I'm back in town. I'm looking
to pick up where I left off.
698
00:36:23,659 --> 00:36:26,575
So why don't you do the right
thing and ride your loser ass
699
00:36:26,619 --> 00:36:28,229
off into the sunset?
700
00:36:28,273 --> 00:36:30,579
- [Cork popping]
- Ow!
701
00:36:30,623 --> 00:36:33,626
[Guys laughing]
702
00:36:33,669 --> 00:36:35,802
Thank you, Deputy Josh.
703
00:36:38,587 --> 00:36:42,112
Out with the old,
in with the new, huh, Franz?
704
00:36:42,156 --> 00:36:43,984
Well,
705
00:36:44,027 --> 00:36:47,030
I guess you won't be
needing this anymore.
706
00:36:56,649 --> 00:36:58,085
[Fizzling out]
707
00:37:00,305 --> 00:37:02,263
That was disappointing.
708
00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:05,962
We've really got to stop
watering the booze.
709
00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:08,400
Godfrey! Godfrey, I need
710
00:37:08,443 --> 00:37:11,054
- to talk to you, right now!
- Occupied...
711
00:37:11,098 --> 00:37:13,448
- Like Poland.
- Godfrey, I'm not kidding.
712
00:37:13,492 --> 00:37:17,278
- This is important.
- Don't care! I'm busy.
713
00:37:17,322 --> 00:37:20,716
- Go away.
- No! I'm not leaving! Not until you talk to me.
714
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:24,677
- Mm-hmm.
- Wait, no, I am leaving! That's what I came to tell you.
715
00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:27,245
I'm leaving, and I'm not coming
back. You hear me?
716
00:37:31,466 --> 00:37:33,425
[Electricity zapping]
717
00:37:33,468 --> 00:37:36,428
Hey... Hey!
718
00:37:38,473 --> 00:37:40,475
Godfrey?
719
00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:44,610
Godfrey?
720
00:37:44,653 --> 00:37:46,655
Are you OK?
721
00:37:49,354 --> 00:37:51,660
Aw, come on!
722
00:37:51,704 --> 00:37:54,097
[Talking at once]
723
00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:56,883
- What's going on?
- I have got orders to put in!
724
00:37:56,926 --> 00:37:59,949
He's rebooting the system. It'll be up
in a minute. Just give him some space.
725
00:37:59,973 --> 00:38:02,149
- What's the problem?
- This is unacceptable.
726
00:38:02,192 --> 00:38:05,500
I hear you, Franz. But you bought a
company with 10-year-old computer systems.
727
00:38:05,544 --> 00:38:07,957
- Stuff like this happens.
- What are you talking about, moron? We just...
728
00:38:07,981 --> 00:38:11,898
Hey, Barb! Why don't you stop talking for a
minute and take Franz here into the dining room?
729
00:38:11,941 --> 00:38:14,161
I'm sure we have guests
who could use a reassuring word
730
00:38:14,204 --> 00:38:16,164
from someone with your obvious
people skills, huh?
731
00:38:16,206 --> 00:38:18,905
Franz, why don't you come with
me? We'll put out some fires, buddy.
732
00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:23,083
What? There's a fire?
733
00:38:23,126 --> 00:38:25,825
So here's the lowdown:
Uh, what are you doing here?
734
00:38:25,868 --> 00:38:27,827
I don't want to miss this.
735
00:38:27,870 --> 00:38:30,177
OK. Guys, Alex. Alex, Guys.
736
00:38:30,220 --> 00:38:33,485
- Hi. - Yeah. How's it going?
- OK. The door's locked,
737
00:38:33,528 --> 00:38:35,965
he's lying on the ground, and
there's a bottle in his hand.
738
00:38:36,009 --> 00:38:38,446
- Oh, God. Is he alive?
- Well, I think he's breathing,
739
00:38:38,490 --> 00:38:41,231
but damn it, I'm a server,
not a physician!
740
00:38:41,275 --> 00:38:44,385
- Should I call an ambulance?
- No, no, no. If we do that, Franz will fire his ass.
741
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:46,759
We just need to find a way
to discreetly get in there,
742
00:38:46,802 --> 00:38:49,065
check on him, and get the system
up and running again.
743
00:38:49,109 --> 00:38:53,026
- OK. But how?
- The skylight. We can come in through the skylight. Remember
744
00:38:53,069 --> 00:38:56,135
when those kids broke in last year and took a
dump on every table? That's how they got in.
745
00:38:56,159 --> 00:38:58,379
- I thought you were the one...
- There's no proof.
746
00:38:58,423 --> 00:39:00,250
Guys, task at hand.
747
00:39:00,294 --> 00:39:02,949
We can't get in through
the skylight without a rope.
748
00:39:02,992 --> 00:39:04,342
Actually...
749
00:39:06,387 --> 00:39:08,520
[All]: Hmm.
750
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:10,348
♪♪♪
751
00:39:10,391 --> 00:39:13,394
OK, for the record,
drawing straws is bullshit.
752
00:39:13,438 --> 00:39:15,396
Hurry up!
753
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,547
Dude, don't rush us,
all right? These lights are
754
00:39:16,571 --> 00:39:18,921
more tangled
than an Asian girl's bush!
755
00:39:18,965 --> 00:39:22,142
- Tommy, not in front of the lady!
- No, it's OK. Strangely enough,
756
00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:24,536
- I was thinking the same thing.
- Whoops!
757
00:39:24,579 --> 00:39:27,408
- Oh, God! Hold up!
- Oh, this ain't right. Oof.
758
00:39:27,452 --> 00:39:30,803
Just a sec. I got it!
759
00:39:30,846 --> 00:39:33,414
- Seriously?!
- Yep, they work!
760
00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:35,634
Guys...
761
00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:38,506
Hey. Is that you, Jesus?
762
00:39:38,550 --> 00:39:40,334
You know what? You know,
763
00:39:40,378 --> 00:39:42,181
you look a lot like this guy
that works for me...
764
00:39:42,205 --> 00:39:44,556
Except, of course, he's Jewish.
765
00:39:44,599 --> 00:39:49,430
It is me, Godfrey. And Jesus
was Jewish too, so you know.
766
00:39:49,474 --> 00:39:51,998
That's funny, Jesus.
767
00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:54,304
All right. He's not dead,
768
00:39:54,348 --> 00:39:57,177
although I might be if any more
blood rushes to my head.
769
00:39:57,220 --> 00:39:58,787
OK, I almost have it.
770
00:39:58,831 --> 00:40:01,355
- Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh, shit!
771
00:40:08,014 --> 00:40:11,321
[Retching and coughing]
772
00:40:11,365 --> 00:40:15,804
- Ew! Oh, God! Oh, God, that's gross!
- Ugh!
773
00:40:15,848 --> 00:40:17,893
[Tommy]: Dude,
lay off the guacamole!
774
00:40:21,636 --> 00:40:23,856
The sucker is fried.
775
00:40:23,899 --> 00:40:26,249
Ugh, I still have the image
in my head.
776
00:40:26,293 --> 00:40:27,973
Stop being such babies
and get down here.
777
00:40:30,906 --> 00:40:33,648
Godfrey. Godfrey, wake up.
778
00:40:33,692 --> 00:40:37,478
- How are you feeling?
- Uh...
779
00:40:37,522 --> 00:40:40,046
Ugh. Did I puke?
780
00:40:40,089 --> 00:40:42,048
Uh, yeah, you did.
781
00:40:42,091 --> 00:40:44,442
Oh, yeah, I can still taste it.
782
00:40:46,705 --> 00:40:49,795
OK, Godfrey,
what's going on with you?
783
00:40:49,838 --> 00:40:52,362
Josh, do you know what 20 years
784
00:40:52,406 --> 00:40:55,148
of dedicated service
to Ranch Steakhouse gets you?
785
00:40:55,191 --> 00:40:58,281
- Do you?
- Is it the horseshoes?
786
00:40:58,325 --> 00:41:01,807
- No, it's a kick in the balls.
- You want to see?
787
00:41:01,850 --> 00:41:05,114
- Your balls? Not particularly.
- No, Josh! Not my balls.
788
00:41:05,158 --> 00:41:09,467
No, this. Read that.
Read it. Go on. Read.
789
00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,686
[Sighing]
790
00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:14,559
You know what? I wanted to own
my own restaurant, you know?
791
00:41:14,602 --> 00:41:17,779
I did, I did. I had
all these big plans, you know?
792
00:41:17,823 --> 00:41:20,086
This job was just supposed
to be temporary. But I got
793
00:41:20,129 --> 00:41:21,696
I got stuck.
794
00:41:21,740 --> 00:41:25,134
You know how I got stuck?
It's all 'cause, you know what?
795
00:41:25,178 --> 00:41:27,615
First comes love,
then comes marriage,
796
00:41:27,659 --> 00:41:31,619
then comes one horny night when
you screw up all your dreams
797
00:41:31,663 --> 00:41:34,100
by convincing your wife
that pulling out is
798
00:41:34,143 --> 00:41:37,495
an effective means
of birth control.
799
00:41:37,538 --> 00:41:38,887
Idiot.
800
00:41:42,195 --> 00:41:45,328
Don't get stuck, Josh.
Don't you get stuck.
801
00:41:45,372 --> 00:41:48,897
No, you,
you live the dream, Josh.
802
00:41:48,941 --> 00:41:51,857
You live the dream.
803
00:41:51,900 --> 00:41:54,163
Oh, that was close.
804
00:41:54,207 --> 00:41:57,950
- Yeah, really.
- That was close.
805
00:41:57,993 --> 00:42:00,082
- What... No. Godfrey?
- Godfrey, wake up.
806
00:42:00,126 --> 00:42:01,886
You have to get back out
into the restaurant.
807
00:42:03,912 --> 00:42:07,481
♪♪♪
808
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,178
Good idea.
809
00:42:12,007 --> 00:42:15,271
I wouldn't want to be here
for this either.
810
00:42:15,315 --> 00:42:18,057
♪♪♪
811
00:42:27,370 --> 00:42:31,418
- Where have you been?!
- OK, I quit. I'm done.
812
00:42:31,461 --> 00:42:35,901
- Congratulations.
- Your new life starts tonight.
813
00:42:35,944 --> 00:42:39,165
Hey, this is kind of like
a Romeo & Juliet-type thing.
814
00:42:39,208 --> 00:42:42,560
- Ugh, I hate that movie.
- Come on, get up here.
815
00:42:42,603 --> 00:42:46,607
Hey, uh, random question, but
816
00:42:46,651 --> 00:42:49,001
do you remember what you did
last Tuesday night?
817
00:42:49,044 --> 00:42:51,960
Tuesday? No, I don't remember.
818
00:42:52,004 --> 00:42:53,962
Why? What does it matter?
819
00:42:54,006 --> 00:42:55,616
Let's just enjoy the night.
820
00:42:55,660 --> 00:42:57,618
It matters because
I happened to run into.
821
00:42:57,662 --> 00:43:00,403
- [All]: Surprise!
- What is this?
822
00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:03,581
- Happy birthday, Jim.
- Happy birthday, Jim.
823
00:43:03,624 --> 00:43:06,366
- Happy birthday!
- Blow them out.
824
00:43:06,409 --> 00:43:08,411
But it says... OK.
825
00:43:08,455 --> 00:43:11,023
- [Cheering]
- Come on.
826
00:43:13,286 --> 00:43:15,941
Who the hell are
all these people?
827
00:43:15,984 --> 00:43:18,900
- They're our friends, Josh.
- People I work with.
828
00:43:18,944 --> 00:43:20,661
You've met them before. Anyway,
you'll be seeing a lot more
829
00:43:20,685 --> 00:43:22,817
of them now that you're
not working nights.
830
00:43:22,861 --> 00:43:25,428
- Guess who.
- Pop?
831
00:43:25,472 --> 00:43:27,256
Happy birthday.
832
00:43:27,300 --> 00:43:29,476
Can you believe it?
My boy is 25!
833
00:43:29,519 --> 00:43:31,478
Well, not until midnight,
officially.
834
00:43:31,521 --> 00:43:34,046
Which is also officially
the end of Josh's three years
835
00:43:34,089 --> 00:43:36,439
- of working.
- I remember, Jenny, of course.
836
00:43:36,483 --> 00:43:38,441
If Josh still wants
to be a lawyer,
837
00:43:38,485 --> 00:43:40,879
I'm willing to pay
for everything now.
838
00:43:40,922 --> 00:43:44,317
Ah! Oh, my God,
the day is finally here!
839
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,537
Sam, thank you so much.
Josh can't wait to go back
840
00:43:47,581 --> 00:43:50,889
- to school. Can you, Jo shy?
- Well, he was always a great student,
841
00:43:50,932 --> 00:43:53,500
especially in English.
He loved creative writing.
842
00:43:53,543 --> 00:43:57,896
- Do you still write at all, son?
- Oh, he's been writing
843
00:43:57,939 --> 00:44:01,092
this blog about the restaurant, but that's
all over and done with now, thank God.
844
00:44:01,116 --> 00:44:03,553
- You knew about my blog?
- Are you
845
00:44:03,597 --> 00:44:06,358
I saw it on your computer, but I never read it.
It's not like it was paying the bills, right?
846
00:44:06,382 --> 00:44:08,341
- Mmm, no.
- Sorry to interrupt, Jim.
847
00:44:08,384 --> 00:44:10,560
Jenny, is there any food
coming out, or...?
848
00:44:10,604 --> 00:44:12,538
They haven't come around
with more trays yet?! God,
849
00:44:12,562 --> 00:44:14,628
these waiters have been
dragging their asses all night!
850
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,742
Whoa, let's not jump to conclusions.
It's busy, and I don't see a lot of them
851
00:44:17,785 --> 00:44:20,266
on the floor. Besides, could be
the kitchen is backed up.
852
00:44:20,309 --> 00:44:23,704
- You never know, Jen. You've just got to give people a break.
- OK, OK. Relax.
853
00:44:23,748 --> 00:44:26,533
- You quit. Enough.
- Well, what is that supposed to mean?
854
00:44:26,576 --> 00:44:28,536
It means I'm sick of you
fighting for the rights
855
00:44:28,578 --> 00:44:30,624
of every pathetic schlub
who pours you a coffee.
856
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,626
You're not one of them anymore;
857
00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:35,237
You're one of us now.
858
00:44:35,281 --> 00:44:37,109
Hey
859
00:44:37,152 --> 00:44:39,502
why don't you open the present?
860
00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:42,897
Uh, I'm going to wash up
and cool off.
861
00:44:42,941 --> 00:44:44,943
I'll open it when I get back.
862
00:44:44,986 --> 00:44:48,076
- Jim? Who the fuck is Jim?
- So, what did you get him?
863
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,905
It's... for him.
864
00:44:55,867 --> 00:44:58,608
Face it: You're one of us now.
865
00:44:58,652 --> 00:45:01,568
You're not one of them
anymore; You're one of us now.
866
00:45:01,611 --> 00:45:03,483
I am very interested
in your ovens.
867
00:45:03,526 --> 00:45:05,137
What?
868
00:45:08,531 --> 00:45:11,621
- Where's Joshua?
- Have you seen him?
869
00:45:11,665 --> 00:45:15,582
Not since the office, brother. I've been
taking some of his tables. Man, are they shit!
870
00:45:15,625 --> 00:45:17,758
- Ugh, this night is pure hell.
- Achtung!
871
00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:20,543
Uh, listen up, listen up.
872
00:45:20,587 --> 00:45:24,156
Um, in case you do not know,
873
00:45:24,199 --> 00:45:26,549
Godfrey is in violation
874
00:45:26,593 --> 00:45:30,423
of Heindschlap Industries'
policy. He is fired.
875
00:45:30,466 --> 00:45:32,599
- What?
- And unless
876
00:45:32,642 --> 00:45:34,862
you want the same fate,
you will do as I say.
877
00:45:34,906 --> 00:45:37,125
I am in charge now.
878
00:45:37,169 --> 00:45:39,432
Now, we have many hungry guests,
879
00:45:39,475 --> 00:45:41,651
and you will serve them
in an efficient manner.
880
00:45:41,695 --> 00:45:44,654
Follow my orders,
and you will be successful!
881
00:45:44,698 --> 00:45:47,614
Now, everyone, get back to work!
Schnell! Schnell!
882
00:45:47,657 --> 00:45:49,790
- Beat it! Get in there!
- No! Everyone stay
883
00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:52,184
right where you are!
This meeting's not over.
884
00:45:52,227 --> 00:45:55,665
You! You are the one that lied
to me. You are fired too. Go home.
885
00:45:55,709 --> 00:45:58,103
Just shut your Von Trapp,
Franz. I've heard enough yelling
886
00:45:58,146 --> 00:46:00,366
out of you for a lifetime.
Tommy, can you? Please?
887
00:46:00,409 --> 00:46:03,064
- What are you doing?
- Let go of me!
888
00:46:03,108 --> 00:46:07,155
Look, before you all rush off to do
your jobs with unfaltering dedication,
889
00:46:07,199 --> 00:46:11,159
I think you deserve to know
something: We're all about to get fired!
890
00:46:11,203 --> 00:46:13,118
- What?!
- That's not true.
891
00:46:13,161 --> 00:46:16,382
In two weeks, our new German owners
are shutting us down for renovations.
892
00:46:16,425 --> 00:46:18,166
And when they reopen,
893
00:46:18,210 --> 00:46:20,821
we all have to re-interview
for our jobs.
894
00:46:20,865 --> 00:46:24,042
- Fucking Germans!
- I just saw it all laid out in a memo
895
00:46:24,085 --> 00:46:27,610
from head office. Even Godfrey has to
re-interview. That's why he's gone all crazy.
896
00:46:27,654 --> 00:46:32,224
- What? - Fucking Germans!
- This is standard procedure.
897
00:46:32,267 --> 00:46:35,662
If you are good at your jobs, there's nothing
to worry about! Nothing, nichts! Relax!
898
00:46:35,705 --> 00:46:39,274
OK, Franz, see, that's what
all these guys are worried about.
899
00:46:39,318 --> 00:46:43,148
Hey, Oldy-locks. If I were
you, I'd be worried most of all.
900
00:46:43,191 --> 00:46:45,411
They're not just looking
for fresh paint;
901
00:46:45,454 --> 00:46:48,869
They're looking for fresh faces, which means
your geriatric ass will be the first to go!
902
00:46:48,893 --> 00:46:51,872
- [Franz]: Not necessarily.
- Well, what do you want us to do, Josh? Just walk out?
903
00:46:51,896 --> 00:46:53,462
I mean, we can't do that!
904
00:46:53,506 --> 00:46:55,464
That's a sure way
to guarantee we all get fired!
905
00:46:55,508 --> 00:46:57,553
- Yeah!
- We're all getting fired anyway!
906
00:46:57,597 --> 00:47:00,121
The only question is
do we go out as chumps,
907
00:47:00,165 --> 00:47:04,473
- or do we go out with a little dignity?
- What are you thinking, Joshua?
908
00:47:04,517 --> 00:47:08,260
I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
909
00:47:08,303 --> 00:47:11,263
I'm thinking
tonight is our night.
910
00:47:11,306 --> 00:47:14,092
- [Franz]: Nein, not tonight.
- Tonight is a bad night.
911
00:47:14,135 --> 00:47:17,225
For one night, let's not put up
with the usual customer bullshit.
912
00:47:17,269 --> 00:47:19,488
For one night, let's dish out
913
00:47:19,532 --> 00:47:21,447
- what we get dished!
- Nein, nein, nein, nein!
914
00:47:21,490 --> 00:47:24,295
I will not let you ruin the name of
Heindschlap Industries! I will stop it!
915
00:47:24,319 --> 00:47:25,799
Ruin the good name
of Heindschlap?
916
00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,821
Please, I'm pretty sure
that went out the out the window
917
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,977
when those kids in Michigan were
born with two heads.
918
00:47:30,021 --> 00:47:32,153
- Michigan?
- That was not our fault.
919
00:47:32,197 --> 00:47:34,044
Well, that's up for the jury
to decide. In the meantime,
920
00:47:34,068 --> 00:47:37,028
Tommy, can you lock this
sour Kraut in the liquor room?
921
00:47:37,071 --> 00:47:40,031
I have Heindschlap Industries
behind me!
922
00:47:40,074 --> 00:47:42,033
Be careful! Jesus!
923
00:47:42,076 --> 00:47:44,252
[Grunting with effort]
924
00:47:44,296 --> 00:47:46,080
Ah!
925
00:47:46,124 --> 00:47:48,866
Get in there!
926
00:47:51,477 --> 00:47:54,132
Yeah!
927
00:47:54,175 --> 00:47:56,743
- Are you OK?
- Feisty little fucker.
928
00:47:56,786 --> 00:47:59,311
All right, people.
929
00:47:59,354 --> 00:48:01,704
We're servers, not servants.
930
00:48:01,748 --> 00:48:03,924
And we're staring
into a wide-open
931
00:48:03,968 --> 00:48:06,120
window of opportunity here.
We're not going to be given
932
00:48:06,144 --> 00:48:08,581
a chance like this again.
So I say,
933
00:48:08,624 --> 00:48:12,063
for the rest of the night, don't
take any more... [Spraying]
934
00:48:12,106 --> 00:48:15,283
Akbar? Akbar.
935
00:48:15,327 --> 00:48:18,808
Could you give us a second,
dudes?
936
00:48:18,852 --> 00:48:21,159
As I was saying,
937
00:48:21,202 --> 00:48:24,423
for the rest of the night,
don't take any more crap!
938
00:48:24,466 --> 00:48:26,033
No fake smiles,
939
00:48:26,077 --> 00:48:28,470
no tucking our tails
between our legs.
940
00:48:28,514 --> 00:48:30,646
Tonight, if some jackass wants
to come in here
941
00:48:30,690 --> 00:48:32,953
and play big shot,
I say we bring him
942
00:48:32,997 --> 00:48:35,521
back down to earth
in a real hurry!
943
00:48:35,564 --> 00:48:38,132
- So who's with me?!
- [All]: Yeah!
944
00:48:38,176 --> 00:48:41,962
- Power to the people!
- Viva la revolucion! - Yes!
945
00:48:42,006 --> 00:48:45,531
- El pueblo unido jamás será vencido!
- What?
946
00:48:45,574 --> 00:48:50,536
El pueblo unido jamás ser... In
Spanish, that saying kicks ass! Let's go!
947
00:48:50,579 --> 00:48:53,626
- OK! Yeah!
- Kick ass!
948
00:48:53,669 --> 00:48:57,456
- [Shouting and cheering]
- Kick ass!
949
00:48:57,499 --> 00:49:01,025
Howdy, gentlemen. Deputy Josh at
your service. How y'all doing this evening?
950
00:49:04,289 --> 00:49:07,596
Great! OK, well, I've got some
great dinner specials to tell you about.
951
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:10,991
But before I get into all that, how
about a drink to get you started.
952
00:49:11,035 --> 00:49:14,386
Brewski? Glass of vino?
953
00:49:14,429 --> 00:49:16,344
Circle jerk? Shot in the head?
954
00:49:16,388 --> 00:49:19,347
Anything?
955
00:49:19,391 --> 00:49:20,958
OK.
956
00:49:27,355 --> 00:49:29,444
Your attention please!
957
00:49:32,099 --> 00:49:34,014
It has begun.
958
00:49:34,058 --> 00:49:37,757
♪♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh
whoa oh oh oh oh oh ♪
959
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,412
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh whoa oh oh ♪
960
00:49:40,455 --> 00:49:44,590
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh
whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
961
00:49:44,633 --> 00:49:47,375
♪ Whoa oh oh - Ugh!
962
00:49:47,419 --> 00:49:50,030
- Oh no you didn't!
- You like to pinch, huh?
963
00:49:50,074 --> 00:49:54,687
Ooh! Ooh! You'd better cut down on
those carbs! You've got junk in the trunk!
964
00:49:54,730 --> 00:49:57,820
Hey, Puerto Rico! I still need
those appetizers for table 2!
965
00:49:57,864 --> 00:50:01,824
- Tonight, we fight!
- Put these on!
966
00:50:01,868 --> 00:50:03,828
♪ Do this and do that
to get our bodies movin' ♪
967
00:50:03,870 --> 00:50:05,437
What are you doing?
968
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:07,787
- Hey cowboys and cowgirls.
- Hot plates coming through.
969
00:50:07,830 --> 00:50:13,401
Very hot.
Fingers starting to blister.
970
00:50:13,445 --> 00:50:16,448
Hey, hey, hey, hey! You think
I'm standing here for my health?
971
00:50:16,491 --> 00:50:19,886
Move that shit out of the way!
972
00:50:19,929 --> 00:50:22,236
Jeez!
973
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,718
♪ We can feel
our hearts beating ♪
974
00:50:25,761 --> 00:50:27,589
♪ Come on let's let it out! ♪
975
00:50:27,633 --> 00:50:29,896
♪ Because we're all
just skeletons ♪
976
00:50:29,939 --> 00:50:33,073
- ♪ Our bones will never break.
- Ow! Ow.
977
00:50:33,117 --> 00:50:35,077
- OK, trainee. Keep it up.
- Atta girl. That's it.
978
00:50:35,119 --> 00:50:37,164
Keep going. No, no!
We're going this way!
979
00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:39,645
- Ugh!
- Oh! Find your happy place.
980
00:50:39,688 --> 00:50:41,734
♪ We got a place to go
981
00:50:41,777 --> 00:50:44,867
Oh! Deputy Josh,
a round of waters.
982
00:50:44,911 --> 00:50:48,088
- Sure thing, big spender.
- Jugs are right over there.
983
00:50:48,132 --> 00:50:51,657
[Guys laughing]
984
00:50:51,700 --> 00:50:54,660
Idiots! When I'M funny.
985
00:50:54,703 --> 00:51:00,100
Cowpoke calamari and bootleg
bruschetta. Some people say "broo-SKET-ta".
986
00:51:00,144 --> 00:51:02,102
- There you go.
- I ordered for you.
987
00:51:02,146 --> 00:51:04,452
- What is this?
- We didn't order this!
988
00:51:04,496 --> 00:51:07,020
Don't eat this!
989
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:10,328
♪ Whoa oh oh oh
990
00:51:10,371 --> 00:51:13,070
♪ We can feel
our hearts beating ♪
991
00:51:13,113 --> 00:51:15,115
If you guys want
to break the rules, fine.
992
00:51:15,159 --> 00:51:17,117
You can all get fired
for all I care.
993
00:51:17,161 --> 00:51:19,685
But I won't be any part of it.
994
00:51:19,728 --> 00:51:22,035
Now remember, you're 12.
995
00:51:24,037 --> 00:51:26,474
NITL!
996
00:51:28,737 --> 00:51:31,088
Hi y'all! Can I help you?
997
00:51:31,131 --> 00:51:32,741
Yes. One adult
and one kid, please.
998
00:51:32,785 --> 00:51:36,658
- Sure. Oh, wait.
- Before I seat ya,
999
00:51:36,702 --> 00:51:40,967
I gotta ask:
This "kid" got any ID?
1000
00:51:41,010 --> 00:51:44,536
Are you saying that I don't
know the age of my own daughter?
1001
00:51:44,579 --> 00:51:47,167
I'm saying get with the program.
Chicky here looks old enough to drive.
1002
00:51:47,191 --> 00:51:51,238
- I just passed my driver's test.
- Oh, really? LMFAO.
1003
00:51:51,282 --> 00:51:53,849
- What?
- "Laughing my fucking ass off."
1004
00:51:53,893 --> 00:51:56,678
What? Watch your mouth,
Ashley! Now listen,
1005
00:51:56,722 --> 00:51:59,464
Missy. You are really
trying my patience.
1006
00:51:59,507 --> 00:52:02,989
Give us a kids' menu
and seat us immediately.
1007
00:52:03,032 --> 00:52:06,079
- Not happening.
- The kids' menu is for parents
1008
00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:08,995
with children 12 and under.
It's not meant
1009
00:52:09,038 --> 00:52:10,736
for sorry-ass moms
who don't want to pay
1010
00:52:10,779 --> 00:52:13,173
full price for their teenage
daughter to eat.
1011
00:52:13,217 --> 00:52:17,134
You want McDonald's prices?
Go to freakin' McDonald's!
1012
00:52:17,177 --> 00:52:20,702
FML!
1013
00:52:20,746 --> 00:52:23,401
- [Man laughing]
- Tracy, dear, shh.
1014
00:52:23,444 --> 00:52:26,273
I know it was traumatic, but you
were never in any real danger.
1015
00:52:26,317 --> 00:52:28,797
I don't even keep bullets
in the house! Oh, no, no!
1016
00:52:28,841 --> 00:52:31,122
Please, please don't leave them
alone! I'll pay you dou...
1017
00:52:33,237 --> 00:52:36,936
This night is fucked.
Simon, we have to let Franz go,
1018
00:52:36,979 --> 00:52:39,939
OK? It is kidnapping.
It is a major felony.
1019
00:52:39,982 --> 00:52:41,723
- Shut up, Barb.
- I've got bigger problems.
1020
00:52:41,767 --> 00:52:44,987
[Laughing] You know what?
1021
00:52:45,031 --> 00:52:46,554
Watch this.
1022
00:52:46,598 --> 00:52:49,340
[Dialling]
1023
00:52:49,383 --> 00:52:51,559
Hello. Mr. Sarkofsky.
1024
00:52:51,603 --> 00:52:54,258
It's Simon from 11A.
1025
00:52:54,301 --> 00:52:57,086
Could you hold on a moment? There's
someone who wants to speak to you.
1026
00:52:57,130 --> 00:53:01,003
So I said to the guy, "Yes,
this is my boat. Yacht's it to you?"
1027
00:53:01,047 --> 00:53:03,832
You get it? I said "yacht"
instead of "what".
1028
00:53:03,876 --> 00:53:05,878
Sir? It's for you.
1029
00:53:05,921 --> 00:53:09,142
- It's for me? Who is it?
- It's my landlord.
1030
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:12,798
I need you to explain to him exactly why
I'm going to be short on my rent this week.
1031
00:53:12,841 --> 00:53:17,063
I tried telling him you gave me
FIVE DOLLARS
1032
00:53:17,106 --> 00:53:18,847
on a $200 cheque,
1033
00:53:18,891 --> 00:53:20,588
but he simply doesn't
believe me.
1034
00:53:25,114 --> 00:53:29,075
I assumed with the way you were playing
with your Ferrari keychain all night
1035
00:53:29,118 --> 00:53:33,775
that maybe you could afford to
eat here. Clearly I was mistaken.
1036
00:53:37,649 --> 00:53:39,868
Hello?
1037
00:53:39,912 --> 00:53:42,828
I usually tip 20%, at least.
1038
00:53:42,871 --> 00:53:47,267
[Grunting with effort]
1039
00:53:58,539 --> 00:54:00,628
Well, hello, Fraulein.
1040
00:54:05,894 --> 00:54:07,244
Ah.
1041
00:54:10,551 --> 00:54:13,293
♪♪♪
[Club music]
1042
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:20,953
Josh!
1043
00:54:20,996 --> 00:54:23,825
Josh, what are you doing
in there? Oh, my God.
1044
00:54:23,869 --> 00:54:25,871
Josh, what are you doing?
1045
00:54:25,914 --> 00:54:27,481
Josh!
1046
00:54:27,525 --> 00:54:29,266
Josh!
1047
00:54:29,309 --> 00:54:31,137
Josh?
1048
00:54:31,180 --> 00:54:35,533
- This seems cruel.
- Really? Unlike boiling it?
1049
00:54:35,576 --> 00:54:38,492
- OK, extra cruel, then.
- Look, it's got to look cooked, dude.
1050
00:54:38,536 --> 00:54:41,495
[Cell phone vibrating]
1051
00:54:41,539 --> 00:54:43,497
[Beep]
1052
00:54:43,541 --> 00:54:44,933
You just pressed ignore.
1053
00:54:44,977 --> 00:54:47,066
- Did I?
- Yes, you did.
1054
00:54:47,109 --> 00:54:49,851
- Can we do this thing?
- Ha ha ha! - Go!
1055
00:54:54,856 --> 00:54:57,076
Here we are. Mmm!
1056
00:54:57,119 --> 00:54:59,905
Never fresher. You can
practically smell the ocean!
1057
00:54:59,948 --> 00:55:01,863
Just get me another martini.
1058
00:55:01,907 --> 00:55:03,300
All right.
1059
00:55:13,875 --> 00:55:16,791
[Sniffing] Ah!
1060
00:55:16,835 --> 00:55:19,620
[Yelling] [Laughing]
1061
00:55:19,664 --> 00:55:22,188
[Yelling]
1062
00:55:22,231 --> 00:55:23,798
Oh, no!
1063
00:55:23,842 --> 00:55:26,540
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1064
00:55:26,584 --> 00:55:30,022
All right, you fucking
perky little missy.
1065
00:55:30,065 --> 00:55:32,329
I am telling my husband
about this place!
1066
00:55:32,372 --> 00:55:34,505
Great! Be sure to tell
your friends about us too.
1067
00:55:34,548 --> 00:55:36,158
No, no, no! Wait!
1068
00:55:36,202 --> 00:55:40,380
- You can't leave.
- Get your hands off me.
1069
00:55:40,424 --> 00:55:42,904
I am so sorry
about what happened back there.
1070
00:55:42,948 --> 00:55:45,820
Our cook, Diego, he's Cuban.
He's crazy.
1071
00:55:45,864 --> 00:55:49,041
- He does things like this. Please don't leave.
- Ha! I'm leaving.
1072
00:55:49,084 --> 00:55:51,435
I'm leaving!
And I am bringing back
1073
00:55:51,478 --> 00:55:55,134
an entire team of city officials
1074
00:55:55,177 --> 00:55:57,397
to close this place down.
1075
00:55:57,441 --> 00:56:00,879
- No. You can't go.
- Oh, I can't, huh? Why not?
1076
00:56:00,922 --> 00:56:02,707
Because you're
1077
00:56:05,274 --> 00:56:07,015
perfection.
1078
00:56:07,059 --> 00:56:09,061
Pfft! You're just saying that
1079
00:56:09,104 --> 00:56:11,280
so you can take another
knock at my face.
1080
00:56:11,324 --> 00:56:15,720
I don't care about this. It's
this heavenly handful of love
1081
00:56:15,763 --> 00:56:17,939
I'm talking about.
1082
00:56:17,983 --> 00:56:19,854
Are you crazy?
1083
00:56:19,898 --> 00:56:21,987
My husband hates that.
He says it makes me look
1084
00:56:22,030 --> 00:56:23,902
like a middle-aged mom.
1085
00:56:23,945 --> 00:56:27,427
- Oh...
- I have to get it taken off.
1086
00:56:27,471 --> 00:56:29,995
I'm going under the knife again
in two weeks.
1087
00:56:30,038 --> 00:56:32,040
No! No, no, no, no!
1088
00:56:32,084 --> 00:56:35,783
You can't rid yourself
of God's greatest gunty gift!
1089
00:56:35,827 --> 00:56:38,133
Are you fucking serious?
1090
00:56:38,177 --> 00:56:41,441
I've never been
more serious in my life.
1091
00:56:41,485 --> 00:56:44,357
♪ Babyyyyy
1092
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:46,403
And for you, madam?
1093
00:56:46,446 --> 00:56:48,492
OK.
1094
00:56:48,535 --> 00:56:51,233
All righty. Yes?
And just say when.
1095
00:56:51,277 --> 00:56:53,975
Oh, I can see that you could use
some more water here.
1096
00:56:54,019 --> 00:56:55,953
I'll get my apprentice to get it
for you right away. Alex?
1097
00:56:55,977 --> 00:56:57,936
- I got it.
- Thank you, dear.
1098
00:56:57,979 --> 00:57:01,330
[Laughing]
1099
00:57:01,374 --> 00:57:04,029
Ah...
1100
00:57:04,072 --> 00:57:06,553
Carpal tunnel's really
setting in. That's all right.
1101
00:57:06,597 --> 00:57:09,034
I've got pills for that.
1102
00:57:11,123 --> 00:57:13,473
Hello again.
1103
00:57:13,517 --> 00:57:15,649
Hello to you. Are you enjoying
your first night?
1104
00:57:15,693 --> 00:57:17,564
You mean my last night?
1105
00:57:17,608 --> 00:57:20,915
Oh, I wouldn't count yourself
out just yet. You're new.
1106
00:57:20,959 --> 00:57:24,615
- You probably still have a chance of getting rehired.
- Unlike you?
1107
00:57:24,658 --> 00:57:28,662
- Yeah. I'm toast, for sure.
- So, now that you're fired,
1108
00:57:28,706 --> 00:57:30,751
what do you plan on doing
with your time?
1109
00:57:30,795 --> 00:57:34,494
Well, if this doesn't land me in jail...
which it might... I'm law-school-bound.
1110
00:57:34,538 --> 00:57:37,932
Wow. Law school.
1111
00:57:37,976 --> 00:57:40,674
Yeah. Well, I'd be there
already if my father didn't force me
1112
00:57:40,718 --> 00:57:43,721
to work for three years first.
He thinks it'll build
1113
00:57:43,764 --> 00:57:47,725
- character or something.
- That's really smart.
1114
00:57:47,768 --> 00:57:51,163
- Really? It always seemed kind of pointless to me.
- No,
1115
00:57:51,206 --> 00:57:53,121
not at all.
1116
00:57:53,165 --> 00:57:55,602
Jeez, I wish my parents had
slowed me down.
1117
00:57:55,646 --> 00:57:57,711
Maybe I wouldn't have wasted
the past few years of my life.
1118
00:57:57,735 --> 00:58:00,520
You know, I know you can't tell
by my bitchin' rhinestone shirt,
1119
00:58:00,564 --> 00:58:02,696
but up until a few weeks ago
1120
00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:05,525
- I worked at a big investment firm.
- Investment firm?
1121
00:58:05,569 --> 00:58:07,919
- Yeah.
- Man, that is terrible.
1122
00:58:07,962 --> 00:58:10,922
I don't blame you one bit for
being pissed at your parents.
1123
00:58:10,965 --> 00:58:13,968
Ha ha. I'm just saying,
you know, maybe if they'd
1124
00:58:14,012 --> 00:58:16,362
forced me to explore my options,
I would have
1125
00:58:16,405 --> 00:58:18,843
taken the time to find out
what made me truly happy.
1126
00:58:18,886 --> 00:58:21,889
- Which is what? This?
- Well, I don't know yet.
1127
00:58:21,933 --> 00:58:25,240
But I do know that the last time
I was truly happy,
1128
00:58:25,284 --> 00:58:27,262
I was waiting tables,
putting myself through school.
1129
00:58:27,286 --> 00:58:29,244
So I quit the firm,
came back here...
1130
00:58:29,288 --> 00:58:32,160
Oh, you're doing a hell
of a job. Get a fucking room!
1131
00:58:32,204 --> 00:58:35,270
- Yeah, that's my bad.
- She's like the weird uncle at Christmas. Just ignore her.
1132
00:58:35,294 --> 00:58:37,818
Tommy's getting ready. Who
do you have working the table?
1133
00:58:37,862 --> 00:58:40,517
- I was going to do it.
- No. He'll be on to you
1134
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:42,693
in a second. We need someone
he won't suspect.
1135
00:58:42,736 --> 00:58:44,564
Well, he's gonna know
it's me anyway.
1136
00:58:44,608 --> 00:58:47,524
- Yeah, but he might not go for it if it's you.
- I can do it.
1137
00:58:47,567 --> 00:58:50,614
No way. You're not getting
involved in this one.
1138
00:58:50,657 --> 00:58:52,417
Besides, you don't even know
what we're talking about.
1139
00:58:52,441 --> 00:58:54,661
- I don't care.
- I'll take the risk.
1140
00:58:54,705 --> 00:58:57,403
Oh, I like this girl.
1141
00:59:05,411 --> 00:59:08,719
What are you looking at,
you bastards?
1142
00:59:08,762 --> 00:59:10,590
Stop looking at me!
1143
00:59:10,634 --> 00:59:14,551
I try and I try and try,
you dirty twat!
1144
00:59:14,594 --> 00:59:17,728
You're watching me
and you're judging me!
1145
00:59:17,771 --> 00:59:20,557
You want to see something now?
Want to see it,
1146
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:22,950
you dirty swine?
1147
00:59:22,994 --> 00:59:25,474
♪♪♪
1148
00:59:25,518 --> 00:59:26,911
You're a very pretty girl.
1149
00:59:26,954 --> 00:59:30,218
What, no "thank you", no.
1150
00:59:30,262 --> 00:59:32,351
- "I appreciate the compliment"?
- Finished?
1151
00:59:32,394 --> 00:59:36,007
You're our third waiter
tonight. Where's Deputy Josh?
1152
00:59:36,050 --> 00:59:38,183
Coffee? Tea, anyone?
1153
00:59:38,226 --> 00:59:41,012
- Oh, I'll take you.
- Excuse me?
1154
00:59:41,055 --> 00:59:44,058
Well, aren't waitresses supposed
to say, "Coffee, tea, or me?" Because,
1155
00:59:44,102 --> 00:59:45,799
well, I would take you
in a heartbeat.
1156
00:59:45,843 --> 00:59:48,672
[Guys laughing]
1157
00:59:48,715 --> 00:59:51,500
- You've got the wrong girl.
- Well, that's a shame,
1158
00:59:51,544 --> 00:59:54,068
because you could have had
the right guy.
1159
00:59:54,112 --> 00:59:56,070
You skank!
1160
00:59:56,114 --> 00:59:57,855
You did that on purpose.
1161
00:59:57,898 --> 00:59:59,378
You touched me.
1162
00:59:59,421 --> 01:00:02,773
- [Guys laughing]
- Hey, shut up!
1163
01:00:02,816 --> 01:00:04,470
Shut up.
1164
01:00:10,302 --> 01:00:12,565
- Where are you going?
- It's time!
1165
01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:15,350
- Yeah. Change of plans.
- Something I gotta do.
1166
01:00:15,394 --> 01:00:18,527
- You take my place.
- No. I can't.
1167
01:00:18,571 --> 01:00:21,269
I don't have it in me,
not today. I'm too fragile.
1168
01:00:21,313 --> 01:00:23,489
This is your moment, Simon!
1169
01:00:23,532 --> 01:00:25,273
You were born for this.
1170
01:00:29,713 --> 01:00:31,279
It's your destiny.
1171
01:00:31,323 --> 01:00:33,064
[Heavenly chiming]
1172
01:00:35,327 --> 01:00:36,676
Gotta go.
1173
01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:57,871
Ahhh.
1174
01:00:57,915 --> 01:01:01,266
[Deep voice]: Nothing beats
a good piss.
1175
01:01:01,309 --> 01:01:03,616
Except for maybe pussy.
1176
01:01:03,660 --> 01:01:07,272
I sure do loves the pussy.
1177
01:01:07,315 --> 01:01:11,363
How about you, friend?
You like pussy?
1178
01:01:11,406 --> 01:01:13,713
- Sure, I guess.
- It beats the alternative.
1179
01:01:13,757 --> 01:01:15,280
I hear ya.
1180
01:01:15,323 --> 01:01:16,716
Cock...
1181
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,152
Gross.
1182
01:01:22,113 --> 01:01:23,723
Had a little accident?
1183
01:01:23,767 --> 01:01:26,378
No, actually a waitress
spilled gravy on me... on purpose.
1184
01:01:26,421 --> 01:01:29,163
- Pff.
- [Normal voice]: Terrible.
1185
01:01:29,207 --> 01:01:31,557
[Deep voice]: A waitress,
of all people.
1186
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,125
- Who does she think she is?
- Well, she's going to find out
1187
01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:36,146
who she is in a few minutes,
I can tell you that much.
1188
01:01:36,170 --> 01:01:39,260
Pff. Good man. Sock it to her.
1189
01:01:39,304 --> 01:01:40,697
Yeah.
1190
01:01:43,787 --> 01:01:47,268
You should make the restaurant
pay for a new pair.
1191
01:01:47,312 --> 01:01:49,967
Better yet, the waitress.
1192
01:01:50,010 --> 01:01:53,884
- Yeah, I think I will.
- That's a good idea.
1193
01:01:53,927 --> 01:01:56,887
What? What?
1194
01:01:56,930 --> 01:01:59,106
If you don't mind me
saying so, friend,
1195
01:01:59,150 --> 01:02:01,456
your breath could use
a freshening.
1196
01:02:01,500 --> 01:02:03,371
Smells like you already ate
some pussy.
1197
01:02:03,415 --> 01:02:05,547
[Chuckling]
1198
01:02:05,591 --> 01:02:07,636
Well, it smells fine to me.
1199
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,770
OK, don't take my word for it.
1200
01:02:10,814 --> 01:02:13,599
But I'd stay clear of the ladies
tonight just the same.
1201
01:02:19,823 --> 01:02:21,955
What the fuck is wrong
with that guy?
1202
01:02:21,999 --> 01:02:24,088
Eh?
1203
01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:28,135
Well...
1204
01:02:30,181 --> 01:02:32,574
No cups. Tsk.
1205
01:02:32,618 --> 01:02:35,447
Three, two, one.
1206
01:02:35,490 --> 01:02:37,449
What the...?
1207
01:02:37,492 --> 01:02:39,886
[Gargling]
1208
01:02:39,930 --> 01:02:42,193
Oof!
1209
01:02:42,236 --> 01:02:45,587
- [Josh]: One, two, three! Ugh!
- [Laughing]
1210
01:02:45,631 --> 01:02:47,807
[Simon]: What does it look
like, guys?
1211
01:02:47,851 --> 01:02:49,829
[Josh]: It looks
like a douche bag in a dumpster.
1212
01:02:49,853 --> 01:02:52,812
[Laughing]
1213
01:02:52,856 --> 01:02:55,206
Ugh.
1214
01:02:55,249 --> 01:02:57,208
And they said
I couldn't play straight.
1215
01:02:57,251 --> 01:03:00,211
- Well, screw them.
- What do they know?
1216
01:03:00,254 --> 01:03:02,822
[Suspension squeaking]
[Grunting]
1217
01:03:02,866 --> 01:03:04,563
Who's that?
1218
01:03:04,606 --> 01:03:06,304
- [Tommy]: Oh, give me!
- Give me the gunt!
1219
01:03:06,347 --> 01:03:08,567
Give me the gunt! Gunty gunters!
1220
01:03:08,610 --> 01:03:12,484
- He went right up and over.
- How about you?
1221
01:03:12,527 --> 01:03:16,705
Hey, you're back. That's so nice of
you, considering you are my trainee!
1222
01:03:16,749 --> 01:03:20,318
- Barb, I'm sorry.
- And where the hell is Tommy? His tables are freaking out!
1223
01:03:20,361 --> 01:03:22,450
- He'll be back in a minute.
- He's just
1224
01:03:22,494 --> 01:03:24,801
- unloading something.
- Yeah, relax,
1225
01:03:24,844 --> 01:03:27,716
Barb. Stress is a killer
for women your age, right?
1226
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,067
- Oh, lick me, you little shit.
- I'm not a transient
1227
01:03:30,110 --> 01:03:32,088
at this profession like the rest
of you. I have kids to feed.
1228
01:03:32,112 --> 01:03:34,071
You don't have kids;
You have animals.
1229
01:03:34,114 --> 01:03:37,378
- What did you just say to me?
- You heard me:
1230
01:03:37,422 --> 01:03:39,816
Your kids are animals.
Hell, I wouldn't
1231
01:03:39,859 --> 01:03:42,427
be surprised if they're throwing
feces at each other right now.
1232
01:03:42,470 --> 01:03:45,256
OK, that happened one time, OK?
1233
01:03:45,299 --> 01:03:48,912
- Uh, Barb, listen to yourself.
- You're not a mother;
1234
01:03:48,955 --> 01:03:51,891
You're a doormat. And you know, just because
you let your kids treat you like shit
1235
01:03:51,915 --> 01:03:54,874
doesn't mean you have to come in
here every day and take it out on us!
1236
01:03:54,918 --> 01:03:59,139
- Ow! Stop it. Mom, Dad...
- He started it first, not me!
1237
01:03:59,183 --> 01:04:00,880
Tell him to stop! Ow!
1238
01:04:00,924 --> 01:04:04,101
- Oh, yeah! Direct hit!
- Direct hit!
1239
01:04:04,144 --> 01:04:07,278
- You're such a baby! Mom!
- Ha ha! Ha ha!
1240
01:04:07,321 --> 01:04:10,281
OK! Shut those fucking kids
UUUUUUUUP!!
1241
01:04:13,110 --> 01:04:15,895
Look around you. Huh?
1242
01:04:15,939 --> 01:04:20,378
Can you not see that they are
disturbing the entire restaurant?
1243
01:04:20,421 --> 01:04:23,120
I know kids are
really a handful.
1244
01:04:23,163 --> 01:04:25,862
Believe me... ha ha! I know.
1245
01:04:25,905 --> 01:04:27,951
But you don't see me
taking my kids out in public.
1246
01:04:27,994 --> 01:04:33,913
Why not? Because I wouldn't
subject that shit show on anyone!
1247
01:04:33,957 --> 01:04:35,915
For fuck's sake!
1248
01:04:35,959 --> 01:04:40,311
The whole world shouldn't have
to suffer so that you two ass-clowns
1249
01:04:40,354 --> 01:04:43,792
can enjoy a nice evening out!
We are not your
1250
01:04:43,836 --> 01:04:47,709
goddamn babysitters! We
1251
01:04:47,753 --> 01:04:49,581
are waiters!
1252
01:04:49,624 --> 01:04:52,279
[Laughing]
1253
01:04:52,323 --> 01:04:55,152
[Josh]: Yeah! Go Barb!
1254
01:04:57,458 --> 01:04:58,764
You go, girl!
1255
01:05:01,114 --> 01:05:03,856
Thank you.
1256
01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,466
Thank you.
1257
01:05:05,510 --> 01:05:07,077
Coffee?
1258
01:05:07,120 --> 01:05:10,167
Good for her.
1259
01:05:10,210 --> 01:05:13,126
Some people are just
so clueless.
1260
01:05:13,170 --> 01:05:15,955
OK, where were we?
So we each had wine,
1261
01:05:15,999 --> 01:05:18,958
but you had an extra glass,
and I didn't have as much
1262
01:05:19,002 --> 01:05:21,308
of the appetizer
we were supposed to split,
1263
01:05:21,352 --> 01:05:23,963
and... oh! You did have a bite
of my entrée, so...
1264
01:05:24,007 --> 01:05:25,965
Darlene? Put
1265
01:05:26,009 --> 01:05:28,837
the calculator away
before I shove it up your ass.
1266
01:05:28,881 --> 01:05:33,625
- Andrea...
- Don't "Andrea" me.
1267
01:05:33,668 --> 01:05:36,410
Every time we go out, I somehow
end up paying more than you.
1268
01:05:36,454 --> 01:05:38,456
Really? I never realized.
1269
01:05:38,499 --> 01:05:41,285
- No, no, you realized.
- You're just a cheap whore.
1270
01:05:41,328 --> 01:05:44,418
Oh! I am not a whore.
1271
01:05:44,462 --> 01:05:48,292
- Come on. Come on.
- Bye. Thanks for coming.
1272
01:05:48,335 --> 01:05:50,120
- Don't come back soon.
- Robert!
1273
01:05:52,383 --> 01:05:55,125
- Way to go, Barb-a-licious!
- Thanks.
1274
01:05:55,168 --> 01:05:58,041
Nice work. Here's your medal.
1275
01:05:58,084 --> 01:06:01,435
- [Loud fart] - No! Tom...
- Yeah, baby! Yeah!
1276
01:06:01,479 --> 01:06:03,437
- Ugh! Fuck off!
- Oof!
1277
01:06:03,481 --> 01:06:05,613
Oh, no way!
1278
01:06:05,657 --> 01:06:08,051
That is your last cuppy, Tommy!
1279
01:06:08,094 --> 01:06:10,575
[Simon]: She got your bobber!
1280
01:06:10,618 --> 01:06:13,186
- My balls are numb.
- My balls are numb.
1281
01:06:13,230 --> 01:06:15,145
I can't see straight.
You almost killed me!
1282
01:06:15,188 --> 01:06:18,409
I still might.
1283
01:06:18,452 --> 01:06:22,152
It's tragic, but I guess this is
our last night as a team, eh, guys?
1284
01:06:22,195 --> 01:06:24,173
- Ah, don't worry, man.
- It's just a minor setback.
1285
01:06:24,197 --> 01:06:26,852
We're all going to find jobs
somewhere else. Hey, I hear.
1286
01:06:26,895 --> 01:06:28,854
- Doozie's is hiring.
- Doozie's?
1287
01:06:28,897 --> 01:06:31,988
I love their uniforms.
Ooh! I'm in.
1288
01:06:32,031 --> 01:06:36,949
- What about you, Joshua? - Ah, of course he's in.
- Nah, he's going to law school.
1289
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:38,793
- Come on, partner.
- I feel a rant coming on!
1290
01:06:40,692 --> 01:06:42,433
Bye.
1291
01:06:44,870 --> 01:06:48,439
- What was she talking about?
- Well,
1292
01:06:48,482 --> 01:06:51,268
um... gentlemen,
1293
01:06:51,311 --> 01:06:54,010
I'm afraid it's time for
this cowboy to leave the Ranch
1294
01:06:54,053 --> 01:06:56,969
for good. I'm done.
1295
01:06:57,013 --> 01:07:00,886
Whoa, whoa. Reverse
those wagon wheels, brother.
1296
01:07:00,929 --> 01:07:03,410
What are you talking about?
You are not done.
1297
01:07:03,454 --> 01:07:06,065
- Yes, I am.
- In fact, the only reason
1298
01:07:06,109 --> 01:07:08,459
I even came in here tonight was
to quit.
1299
01:07:08,502 --> 01:07:10,654
- So you're just going to leave, and that's it?
- Well, I didn't want
1300
01:07:10,678 --> 01:07:13,072
to make a big deal of it.
I mean, come on,
1301
01:07:13,116 --> 01:07:15,770
this is a waitering job.
It's all just temporary.
1302
01:07:15,814 --> 01:07:19,165
So this really wasn't an all-for-one,
one-for-all type of scenario, was it?
1303
01:07:19,209 --> 01:07:22,864
I mean, you were already quitting, so it
was actually our jobs you were sacrificing.
1304
01:07:22,908 --> 01:07:24,214
Yeah, Joshua.
1305
01:07:24,257 --> 01:07:26,085
Not cool.
1306
01:07:28,348 --> 01:07:30,698
Hey, I didn't force anybody
to do anything.
1307
01:07:30,742 --> 01:07:32,700
I was just telling it
like it is.
1308
01:07:32,744 --> 01:07:34,093
Yeah, like it is for us,
1309
01:07:34,137 --> 01:07:36,095
not you.
1310
01:07:36,139 --> 01:07:39,490
♪♪♪
1311
01:07:48,542 --> 01:07:54,287
♪ How can a girl love a boy
who's so far away? ♪
1312
01:07:54,331 --> 01:07:56,333
I am so very sorry.
1313
01:07:56,376 --> 01:07:59,771
No, it's my bad. I should have
told them a long time ago.
1314
01:07:59,814 --> 01:08:03,296
So, why law school? Do
you really want to be a lawyer?
1315
01:08:03,340 --> 01:08:05,777
Sure. It's all I've ever wanted.
1316
01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:08,127
Yeah, I don't think so.
1317
01:08:08,171 --> 01:08:10,390
Say what you want,
but I simply do not believe
1318
01:08:10,434 --> 01:08:12,394
that being a lawyer is
what you really want to be.
1319
01:08:12,436 --> 01:08:15,700
We just met. How could
you possibly know that?
1320
01:08:15,743 --> 01:08:20,183
So being a lawyer is the one and only
thing that would make you truly happy?
1321
01:08:20,226 --> 01:08:21,619
That's not what I said.
1322
01:08:21,662 --> 01:08:24,100
- So what is it?
- What do you dream of doing?
1323
01:08:24,143 --> 01:08:25,927
It doesn't matter.
1324
01:08:25,971 --> 01:08:28,626
I'm going to law school,
and that's that.
1325
01:08:28,669 --> 01:08:32,151
So if it doesn't matter, then why don't
you tell me? Go. Fast. Tell me. Right now.
1326
01:08:32,195 --> 01:08:35,372
Don't think of anything else. Go.
Before you can think. Let's play this game.
1327
01:08:35,415 --> 01:08:37,417
- A writer.
- A writer?
1328
01:08:37,461 --> 01:08:40,899
- Yeah.
- That's great.
1329
01:08:40,942 --> 01:08:44,337
Ditch law school. You have to do that, or
you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
1330
01:08:44,381 --> 01:08:48,036
No. No, no, no, no. What
I'll regret is giving it a shot
1331
01:08:48,080 --> 01:08:50,014
and then finding out the hard
way that I'm not any good.
1332
01:08:50,038 --> 01:08:51,562
So what?
1333
01:08:51,605 --> 01:08:54,826
OK. Look, Alex,
I appreciate your enthusiasm,
1334
01:08:54,869 --> 01:08:56,828
but I'm having trouble
taking advice from someone
1335
01:08:56,871 --> 01:08:59,396
who quit her high-paying
finance job to wait tables.
1336
01:08:59,439 --> 01:09:03,182
Yeah, there's, um, there's
nothing wrong with waiting tables.
1337
01:09:03,226 --> 01:09:07,969
Really? You want
to end up like Barb?
1338
01:09:08,013 --> 01:09:11,756
Well, Your Majesty, let me just
fucking heat it up for ya!
1339
01:09:11,799 --> 01:09:15,890
Well, um, I could do with
being a little less bipolar,
1340
01:09:15,934 --> 01:09:18,154
and having better hair.
1341
01:09:18,197 --> 01:09:20,939
But no, there's nothing wrong
with what Barb does for a living.
1342
01:09:20,982 --> 01:09:22,941
Did you know
that in some countries,
1343
01:09:22,984 --> 01:09:25,204
being a server is a highly
distinguished position?
1344
01:09:25,248 --> 01:09:28,860
Well, I hate to break it to you, Alex, but
in good old North America, being a waiter is
1345
01:09:28,903 --> 01:09:30,601
equated with being
a flat-out failure.
1346
01:09:30,644 --> 01:09:34,431
Huh. Um...
1347
01:09:34,474 --> 01:09:37,477
Wow, you really have a way
with words.
1348
01:09:42,482 --> 01:09:44,223
[Shouting from within]
1349
01:09:44,267 --> 01:09:46,965
I'm a bad boy!
1350
01:09:47,008 --> 01:09:51,622
[Sobbing] Ah! I like that!
1351
01:09:51,665 --> 01:09:54,320
Blood. Sweet blood.
1352
01:09:54,364 --> 01:09:58,542
Oh! That's good! Yaaah!
1353
01:09:58,585 --> 01:10:01,197
I'm a bad boy! [Shouting]
1354
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:03,677
You dirty bad boy!
1355
01:10:03,721 --> 01:10:05,679
Swine, you swine,
you dirty swine!
1356
01:10:05,723 --> 01:10:08,639
Dirty swine! [Yelling]
1357
01:10:08,682 --> 01:10:11,685
♪♪♪
[Rock music]
1358
01:10:20,825 --> 01:10:22,218
Does that seem odd?
1359
01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:26,526
Uh... What are you doing here?
1360
01:10:26,570 --> 01:10:29,529
How dare you! Do you know
how hard I worked to plan that party?
1361
01:10:29,573 --> 01:10:31,966
How could you just walk out
like that?
1362
01:10:32,010 --> 01:10:34,273
Now, Jenny, I'm sure
he has a good reason.
1363
01:10:34,317 --> 01:10:36,188
You do, son, right?
1364
01:10:36,232 --> 01:10:38,277
Uh... I thought I did.
1365
01:10:38,321 --> 01:10:41,846
That's it? That's your
excuse? "I thought I did"?!
1366
01:10:41,889 --> 01:10:44,868
Oh, my God. All I can say is it's a good
thing that you're through with this place,
1367
01:10:44,892 --> 01:10:47,373
because it's made you
into a total selfish jerk!
1368
01:10:47,417 --> 01:10:50,681
Speaking of selfish jerks, I got a
chance to finally meet Chase this evening.
1369
01:10:50,724 --> 01:10:53,205
That's her ex. Nice guy.
1370
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,555
Stopped in here tonight
to burn a pentagram on my skull.
1371
01:10:55,599 --> 01:10:58,776
Oh, and tell me that he went
on a date with Jenny last week.
1372
01:10:58,819 --> 01:11:01,779
Ugh. It wasn't a date; It was dinner!
And the only reason I even went...
1373
01:11:01,822 --> 01:11:04,497
Besides the fact that he's actually free
at night... was because I wanted him to see
1374
01:11:04,521 --> 01:11:07,674
- how good I was doing. I wanted to brag about you.
- Maybe I just don't understand
1375
01:11:07,698 --> 01:11:10,309
the definition of the word
"brag", because according to him
1376
01:11:10,353 --> 01:11:12,331
- you said I was a loser.
- I never said you were a loser.
1377
01:11:12,355 --> 01:11:14,922
I just told him the truth:
That you were nearly 25,
1378
01:11:14,966 --> 01:11:19,318
didn't own a thing, and you worked as a waiter.
Can I help it if he got "loser" from that?
1379
01:11:19,362 --> 01:11:23,801
Well... you could have
at least told him I'm funny.
1380
01:11:23,844 --> 01:11:26,543
Sorry, it escaped my mind.
If I see him again, I'll tell him.
1381
01:11:26,586 --> 01:11:28,806
- [Door opening]
- Where's Josh Stein? You!
1382
01:11:28,849 --> 01:11:31,983
- Chase? - What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
1383
01:11:32,026 --> 01:11:34,638
- Well, there he is.
- Tell him I'm funny now. Oof!
1384
01:11:34,681 --> 01:11:38,598
- Oh, my God!
- Nice manoeuvre, you little shit! Get up!
1385
01:11:38,642 --> 01:11:41,949
- Hey! You leave my son alone!
- I'm going to kick your ass.
1386
01:11:41,993 --> 01:11:43,995
I don't think so, striped-shirt.
1387
01:11:44,038 --> 01:11:46,650
- Uh-oh. Another deputy.
- Whatever should I do?
1388
01:11:46,693 --> 01:11:49,237
You should shut your fucking
mouth, bitch! That's what you should do!
1389
01:11:49,261 --> 01:11:53,352
- You. - Hi there.
- Oh, my God.
1390
01:11:53,396 --> 01:11:55,833
Oh, no.
1391
01:11:55,876 --> 01:11:59,358
You've got your daddy and a bunch of
minimum-wage morons protecting you. I'm shaking
1392
01:11:59,402 --> 01:12:01,360
in my boots. Well, guys,
1393
01:12:01,404 --> 01:12:04,363
congratulations. You're
all stuck in nothing jobs,
1394
01:12:04,407 --> 01:12:08,324
living nothing lives,
amounting to absolutely nothing.
1395
01:12:08,367 --> 01:12:11,283
- Yeah, you're right!
- Now I'm going to pound your face
1396
01:12:11,327 --> 01:12:13,305
into nothing, so maybe we'll
have something in common, huh?
1397
01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:17,028
- Screw you.
- Screw me? Yaaaaai... - Hey, hey, hey, hey!
1398
01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:19,944
What the hell is going on?
Can't I lapse into a brief coma
1399
01:12:19,987 --> 01:12:22,207
without everything falling
apart?
1400
01:12:22,250 --> 01:12:25,036
- Are you the manager?
- That's debatable
1401
01:12:25,079 --> 01:12:27,797
- at this point, but let's just go with yes.
- I don't know where you have
1402
01:12:27,821 --> 01:12:30,389
been all night, dick face,
but you should know
1403
01:12:30,433 --> 01:12:32,913
that your staff is
completely off the deep end.
1404
01:12:32,957 --> 01:12:36,134
Not only have they been humiliating
your customers every chance that they get,
1405
01:12:36,177 --> 01:12:40,094
but they physically assaulted me. In fact,
you know what? I'm about to call the cops.
1406
01:12:40,138 --> 01:12:42,793
- Oh, don't... Come on...
- Who would assault you?
1407
01:12:42,836 --> 01:12:45,839
- Barb? - No!
- No, he did. I think.
1408
01:12:45,883 --> 01:12:49,452
But they were all involved.
Even... twinkle-toes here.
1409
01:12:49,495 --> 01:12:53,630
- Did you just say, "I think"?
- Well, I didn't see who did it, numb nuts. They ambushed me.
1410
01:12:53,673 --> 01:12:54,868
All right. Well, you've got
witnesses for this ambush?
1411
01:12:54,892 --> 01:12:57,111
- Witnesses?
- Yeah.
1412
01:12:57,155 --> 01:13:00,201
What, you think
I did this to myself?
1413
01:13:00,245 --> 01:13:02,421
- Maybe, I don't know.
- I did this to myself.
1414
01:13:02,465 --> 01:13:06,164
- That's true, he did.
- Yeah. So there.
1415
01:13:06,207 --> 01:13:09,515
You're going to believe
these dip shits over me.
1416
01:13:09,559 --> 01:13:12,300
Well, yeah. You see, actually,
I really like these people,
1417
01:13:12,344 --> 01:13:15,434
and you I'm finding
unusually unpleasant.
1418
01:13:15,478 --> 01:13:19,699
So, yes, you call your police,
and you talk to them,
1419
01:13:19,743 --> 01:13:21,745
and it'll be your word
against ours.
1420
01:13:25,313 --> 01:13:27,403
- Fine.
- OK.
1421
01:13:27,446 --> 01:13:29,405
Have your one victory in life.
1422
01:13:29,448 --> 01:13:31,276
Enjoy it,
1423
01:13:31,319 --> 01:13:33,017
'cause it won't last.
1424
01:13:33,060 --> 01:13:36,586
You picked
a real winner here, Jenny.
1425
01:13:36,629 --> 01:13:38,805
I hope the two of you are
very happy together.
1426
01:13:38,849 --> 01:13:42,156
- Woof!
- Out of my way!
1427
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:45,464
- OK, Josh. Let's go.
- Yeah. Off you go, Josh.
1428
01:13:45,508 --> 01:13:50,382
- You have a great birthday. We'll see you in a few days. Aha.
- You still haven't quit?
1429
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:53,907
- What the hell is the matter with you?
- Quit? Why would he quit?
1430
01:13:53,951 --> 01:13:55,909
Because,
as crazy as this sounds,
1431
01:13:55,953 --> 01:13:58,956
Josh doesn't want to be a waiter
anymore. No, he's done
1432
01:13:58,999 --> 01:14:03,482
- stuffing your heart-clogging food down people's throats.
- We do salads.
1433
01:14:03,526 --> 01:14:06,659
- That's not the point.
- Well, I just think people have a choice.
1434
01:14:06,703 --> 01:14:09,662
No, it's time for Josh to grow up
and do something real with his life,
1435
01:14:09,706 --> 01:14:12,099
not live in this prolonged
adolescence that you call a job.
1436
01:14:12,143 --> 01:14:15,146
- Let me at her! Fucking...
- Whoa, whoa! Come on!
1437
01:14:15,189 --> 01:14:17,148
- OK.
- All right, point taken.
1438
01:14:17,191 --> 01:14:19,933
Well, I guess you should be
on your way, Josh.
1439
01:14:19,977 --> 01:14:21,935
But on behalf of everyone here,
1440
01:14:21,979 --> 01:14:25,199
I just want to say
it has been a pleasure.
1441
01:14:25,243 --> 01:14:27,680
- All right, good enough.
- Come on, Josh. Let's go.
1442
01:14:27,724 --> 01:14:29,682
Josh, come on! Now!
1443
01:14:29,726 --> 01:14:33,643
♪♪♪
1444
01:14:33,686 --> 01:14:35,514
Here.
1445
01:14:35,558 --> 01:14:37,821
What's this?
1446
01:14:37,864 --> 01:14:40,040
Your LSATS!
1447
01:14:40,084 --> 01:14:43,174
- You didn't tell me they came in.
- I guess I've changed my mind.
1448
01:14:43,217 --> 01:14:45,916
I'm not going to law school...
Not now, not ever.
1449
01:14:45,959 --> 01:14:48,484
What?
1450
01:14:48,527 --> 01:14:51,704
- I want to be a writer.
- It's all I've ever wanted.
1451
01:14:51,748 --> 01:14:54,925
I just didn't have the guts
to give it a shot until tonight.
1452
01:14:54,968 --> 01:14:58,232
So you can keep those scores.
I don't need them.
1453
01:14:58,276 --> 01:15:01,714
- But how are you going to make money?
- Well, I'll
1454
01:15:01,758 --> 01:15:03,716
I'll keep waiting tables.
1455
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:06,545
Yeah! Uh, uh, uh, uh!
1456
01:15:06,589 --> 01:15:08,329
I'm good at it.
1457
01:15:08,373 --> 01:15:11,811
And... I think
I even kind of like it.
1458
01:15:11,855 --> 01:15:16,599
I don't want to be with someone
who serves people anymore.
1459
01:15:16,642 --> 01:15:19,732
No, I want to be with someone
who gets served,
1460
01:15:19,776 --> 01:15:23,083
someone important,
someone they throw big
1461
01:15:23,127 --> 01:15:25,782
black-tie parties for.
1462
01:15:25,825 --> 01:15:29,612
Waiters don't get to go
to big black-tie parties, Josh.
1463
01:15:29,655 --> 01:15:32,832
Well, actually, they do,
but through a separate entrance.
1464
01:15:32,876 --> 01:15:37,576
- Ha! Oh, snap!
- She means us, asshole.
1465
01:15:37,620 --> 01:15:39,186
Goodbye, Josh.
1466
01:15:39,230 --> 01:15:41,014
Good luck.
1467
01:15:45,628 --> 01:15:47,412
You're an idiot!
1468
01:15:49,632 --> 01:15:52,983
- [Godfrey]: OK, everybody.
- Show's over.
1469
01:15:53,026 --> 01:15:56,552
- Why don't we all get back to work? Here you go, Sam.
- Thank you.
1470
01:15:56,595 --> 01:15:59,816
Oh, Josh, I gotta tell you, I
really think you blew it with that one.
1471
01:15:59,859 --> 01:16:02,775
That woman is an angel.
1472
01:16:02,819 --> 01:16:05,169
Here. Happy birthday.
1473
01:16:05,212 --> 01:16:07,388
♪♪♪
1474
01:16:07,432 --> 01:16:11,958
♪ Years from now - My blog?
1475
01:16:12,002 --> 01:16:15,135
♪ They will make water
1476
01:16:15,179 --> 01:16:20,445
♪ From the reservoir
1477
01:16:20,488 --> 01:16:21,925
You're Trubleever?
1478
01:16:21,968 --> 01:16:23,361
Mm-hmm.
1479
01:16:23,404 --> 01:16:25,624
So if you knew
I was supposed to be a writer,
1480
01:16:25,668 --> 01:16:28,627
- why didn't you just tell me?
- I couldn't just tell you that.
1481
01:16:28,671 --> 01:16:31,848
You had to figure that out
for yourself.
1482
01:16:39,899 --> 01:16:42,119
How lucky am I, huh?
1483
01:16:42,162 --> 01:16:45,992
I ended up with the only Jewish father
who doesn't want his son to be a lawyer.
1484
01:16:46,036 --> 01:16:49,039
♪♪♪
1485
01:16:58,918 --> 01:17:01,094
Whoa. Dude,
watch where you're going.
1486
01:17:01,138 --> 01:17:04,532
Alex, I gotta tell you, that
was so satisfying to train you.
1487
01:17:04,576 --> 01:17:06,534
- I want to thank you so much.
- Really?
1488
01:17:06,578 --> 01:17:11,061
No, you really sucked ass, OK?
You took years off my life. Here's a dime.
1489
01:17:11,104 --> 01:17:14,368
This is the best night
I've had in years.
1490
01:17:14,412 --> 01:17:17,110
- Oh, my God, me too.
- Ménage à trois, boys! Ha!
1491
01:17:17,154 --> 01:17:19,069
Weird. So how'd you do, Simon?
1492
01:17:19,112 --> 01:17:21,549
Super-duper, same as always.
1493
01:17:21,593 --> 01:17:24,465
- What? You always make this much money?
- Yep.
1494
01:17:24,509 --> 01:17:26,424
I don't need a special night
to speak my mind.
1495
01:17:26,467 --> 01:17:28,556
Gay guys get away with saying
bitchy shit to people
1496
01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:30,907
all the time.
They just eat it up.
1497
01:17:30,950 --> 01:17:33,736
- Balls. Wish I was a gay man.
- You're not?
1498
01:17:33,779 --> 01:17:36,608
- Tommy!
- [Cell phone ringing]
1499
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:40,525
Hi. Put him on! Owen,
1500
01:17:40,568 --> 01:17:43,354
if you and your brother don't go
the fuck to bed right now,
1501
01:17:43,397 --> 01:17:47,532
Mommy is coming home and going to spank you
like it's 1950, you got me?! I love you!
1502
01:17:47,575 --> 01:17:50,230
- [Tommy laughing]
- Yeah you did.
1503
01:17:50,274 --> 01:17:54,234
- Dude, you took some really big steps today, brother.
- Thank you.
1504
01:17:54,278 --> 01:17:56,280
Yeah. There's only one thing
left for you to do.
1505
01:17:56,323 --> 01:17:57,890
Really? What's that?
1506
01:17:57,934 --> 01:18:01,633
- Join the rodeo!
- [Cheering]
1507
01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:03,853
Whoa!
1508
01:18:03,896 --> 01:18:06,333
Oh, no! Oh, no!
1509
01:18:06,377 --> 01:18:08,596
[Cheering]
1510
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:13,514
- Josh! Josh! Josh!
- Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh!
1511
01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:15,952
Woo!
1512
01:18:15,995 --> 01:18:19,303
- I can't stop it! It's broken!
- What?
1513
01:18:19,346 --> 01:18:21,609
Ah!
1514
01:18:21,653 --> 01:18:24,482
- Woo, Josh!
- Jeez!
1515
01:18:24,525 --> 01:18:26,919
[Josh groaning]: I'm good...
1516
01:18:26,963 --> 01:18:29,748
[Godfrey]: Now, I thought
you'd said he left.
1517
01:18:29,792 --> 01:18:31,508
- [Josh]: That wasn't accurate.
- OK, Franz, let me just start off
1518
01:18:31,532 --> 01:18:33,970
by saying we're really,
really sorry.
1519
01:18:34,013 --> 01:18:36,581
- No, don't look at me!
- Don't look at me!
1520
01:18:36,624 --> 01:18:38,583
Close the door. Close the door!
1521
01:18:38,626 --> 01:18:41,107
Close the door! Close it.
1522
01:18:41,151 --> 01:18:43,109
[Tommy]: Fucking Germans...
1523
01:18:43,153 --> 01:18:46,025
- You are my brother.
- You are good.
1524
01:18:46,069 --> 01:18:48,201
- I love you, Franz.
- Yes, I love you too.
1525
01:18:48,245 --> 01:18:50,290
- OK.
- Goodbye, Godfrey.
1526
01:18:50,334 --> 01:18:52,336
[Godfrey]: All right.
1527
01:18:52,379 --> 01:18:56,644
Well, your jobs are all safe.
1528
01:18:56,688 --> 01:18:59,430
That is, of course, assuming
you still want to work here.
1529
01:18:59,473 --> 01:19:01,475
- Where else would we go?
- Well, you know,
1530
01:19:01,519 --> 01:19:05,653
I have an idea, inspired
by these customer comment cards
1531
01:19:05,697 --> 01:19:08,656
that normally contain nothing
but drawings of boners
1532
01:19:08,700 --> 01:19:13,052
but tonight have
customer comments in them.
1533
01:19:13,096 --> 01:19:14,750
And, of course, a few boners.
1534
01:19:14,793 --> 01:19:17,796
But it would seem
that the people loved
1535
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:19,798
what they saw and heard
here tonight.
1536
01:19:19,842 --> 01:19:22,801
- Really?
- Yeah! They did, they loved it.
1537
01:19:22,845 --> 01:19:26,849
All the insults, the abuse,
the neglect, the shenanigans...
1538
01:19:26,892 --> 01:19:30,548
They seemed to think it was
some kind of theatre. So I say
1539
01:19:30,591 --> 01:19:33,246
fuck Heindschlap Industries.
1540
01:19:33,290 --> 01:19:35,640
There's no way I'm letting
those child-mutating bastards
1541
01:19:35,683 --> 01:19:38,208
in on this.
This is a great concept
1542
01:19:38,251 --> 01:19:40,645
for a new restaurant.
1543
01:19:40,688 --> 01:19:43,039
For our new restaurant!
1544
01:19:43,082 --> 01:19:45,215
- Ours?
- Yes, ours!
1545
01:19:45,258 --> 01:19:47,976
- So, what do you say? Should we open our own restaurant?
- [All]: Yeah!
1546
01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:49,785
Open our own restaurant?
1547
01:19:49,828 --> 01:19:53,701
If you guys aren't into it,
that's fine. Oh, never mind.
1548
01:19:53,745 --> 01:19:57,183
All right, you talked me
into it. Let's do it.
1549
01:19:57,227 --> 01:19:59,055
But... what are we going
to call the place?
1550
01:19:59,098 --> 01:20:01,840
Whew. Uh...
1551
01:20:01,884 --> 01:20:04,669
♪♪♪
1552
01:20:07,541 --> 01:20:10,718
- Well, Trubleever...
- I mean, Dad
1553
01:20:10,762 --> 01:20:13,069
I'm happy to report that
not going back to school was
1554
01:20:13,112 --> 01:20:15,071
the smartest decision
I ever made.
1555
01:20:15,114 --> 01:20:18,030
Awesome. This is awesome.
1556
01:20:18,074 --> 01:20:21,120
♪ First day in the new hometown
♪ - It's only been six months,
1557
01:20:21,164 --> 01:20:23,906
and I've already got
my first book published.
1558
01:20:23,949 --> 01:20:27,561
OK, self-published, but still,
I've sold a few copies.
1559
01:20:27,605 --> 01:20:31,348
Nice! And we're just days
away from our grant opening.
1560
01:20:31,391 --> 01:20:34,307
I didn't think we'd be able
to pull this off, but it's been
1561
01:20:34,351 --> 01:20:36,919
smooth sailing ever since
Tommy found us our investor.
1562
01:20:36,962 --> 01:20:41,880
Could you tell that sweet little stud
muffin over there to move his ass?
1563
01:20:41,924 --> 01:20:43,229
Will do.
1564
01:20:43,273 --> 01:20:46,058
[Loud fart]
1565
01:20:46,102 --> 01:20:49,757
Uh... he might be a minute.
As for my love life...
1566
01:20:49,801 --> 01:20:51,977
Are you accepting applications?
1567
01:20:52,021 --> 01:20:55,676
Yes. But my girlfriend won't let me
hire hot chicks. She's incredibly jealous.
1568
01:20:55,720 --> 01:20:58,679
- Hm. Good for you I can keep a secret.
- Yeah?
1569
01:20:58,723 --> 01:21:01,378
Well, things are looking up
there too.
1570
01:21:01,421 --> 01:21:04,772
Ooh! Look, Donnie, a new
place! Isn't that exciting?
1571
01:21:04,816 --> 01:21:06,774
I can't wait to see
what the menu is.
1572
01:21:06,818 --> 01:21:09,516
- Will you stick a sock in it, Edna?
- Pardon?
1573
01:21:09,560 --> 01:21:11,779
You're always shooting off
your damn mouth!
1574
01:21:11,823 --> 01:21:14,193
Well, I don't know what you're
talking about. I'm going to ask
1575
01:21:14,217 --> 01:21:16,195
my scrap booking girlfriends
to come on opening night.
1576
01:21:16,219 --> 01:21:18,090
You can just stay home
and watch the game!
1577
01:21:18,134 --> 01:21:21,137
♪♪♪
1578
01:21:25,837 --> 01:21:28,971
♪♪ Well, me and my friends
we work in places
1579
01:21:29,014 --> 01:21:32,583
♪ Where we can't argue
or make funny faces ♪
1580
01:21:32,626 --> 01:21:36,152
♪ And the bosses are always
on top of our cases ♪
1581
01:21:36,195 --> 01:21:39,982
♪ But we take it,
yeah we take it, oh we take it ♪
1582
01:21:40,025 --> 01:21:43,594
♪ Some of us are doctors
or artists and musicians ♪
1583
01:21:43,637 --> 01:21:46,945
♪ Who can't quite bring
our lives to fruition ♪
1584
01:21:46,989 --> 01:21:50,775
♪ We used up the money
on the college tuition ♪
1585
01:21:50,818 --> 01:21:54,605
♪ Now a dead-end job is
the price of ambition ♪
1586
01:21:54,648 --> 01:21:57,956
♪ Not just a waiter,
number one in this state ♪
1587
01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:01,568
♪ Because to cater,
that means food on my plate ♪
1588
01:22:01,612 --> 01:22:03,831
♪ I could be greater
1589
01:22:03,875 --> 01:22:07,574
♪ My mama always said,
"You're not just a waiter" ♪
1590
01:22:07,618 --> 01:22:09,620
♪ Yeah
1591
01:22:09,663 --> 01:22:12,971
♪ Well, they told me to go
and get a good education ♪
1592
01:22:13,015 --> 01:22:16,714
♪ So I did, do I get some kind
of congratulations? ♪
1593
01:22:16,757 --> 01:22:20,196
♪ I mean, I got a BA
and a bad attitude ♪
1594
01:22:20,239 --> 01:22:24,069
♪ And those go together
like people and food ♪
1595
01:22:24,113 --> 01:22:27,638
♪ But I don't want to sound like
I'm so full of myself ♪
1596
01:22:27,681 --> 01:22:31,207
♪ 'Cause it's my choice to live
this way and nobody else's ♪
1597
01:22:31,250 --> 01:22:35,037
♪ I mean, if I wanted to leave
I could leap like a frog ♪
1598
01:22:35,080 --> 01:22:38,649
♪ But why risk drowning
when you're safe on a log? ♪
1599
01:22:38,692 --> 01:22:42,218
♪ Not just a waiter,
number one in this state ♪
1600
01:22:42,261 --> 01:22:45,612
♪ Because to cater,
that means food on my plate ♪
1601
01:22:45,656 --> 01:22:47,875
♪ I could be greater
1602
01:22:47,919 --> 01:22:51,618
♪ My mama always said,
"You're not just a waiter" ♪
1603
01:22:51,662 --> 01:22:53,403
♪ Yeah
1604
01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:44,715
♪ So if you're looking for me
I'll be here for a while ♪
1605
01:23:44,758 --> 01:23:48,284
♪ As long as I'm working
will be as long as I'll smile ♪
1606
01:23:48,327 --> 01:23:52,114
♪ And as long as the boss is
Hitler I'll heil ♪
1607
01:23:52,157 --> 01:23:55,726
♪ I don't want any black marks
to appear on my file ♪
1608
01:23:55,769 --> 01:23:59,512
♪ But I got no benefits
I got no plans ♪
1609
01:23:59,556 --> 01:24:03,125
♪ If the kitchen's too hot
I'll just go get a fan ♪
1610
01:24:03,168 --> 01:24:06,954
♪ And I'll watch all the girls
go by in their tans ♪
1611
01:24:06,998 --> 01:24:10,306
♪ But I won't spill your drinks
I got such a steady hand ♪
1612
01:24:10,349 --> 01:24:14,136
♪ Not just a waiter,
I'm number one in this state ♪
1613
01:24:14,179 --> 01:24:17,487
♪ Because to cater,
that means food on my plate ♪
1614
01:24:17,530 --> 01:24:19,793
♪ I could be greater
1615
01:24:19,837 --> 01:24:24,972
♪ My mama always said,
"You're not just a waiter" ♪
1616
01:24:25,016 --> 01:24:28,759
♪ Not just a waiter,
number one in this state ♪
1617
01:24:28,802 --> 01:24:32,328
♪ Because to cater,
that means food on my plate ♪
1618
01:24:32,371 --> 01:24:34,330
♪ I could be greater
1619
01:24:34,373 --> 01:24:38,725
♪ My mama always said,
"You're not just a waiter, no" ♪
1620
01:24:38,769 --> 01:24:40,510
♪ Yeah ♪
124856
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.