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00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:04,265
Previously onYoung Sheldon...Arrested?
2
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:05,744
Well, they're probably
gonna have to pay some fine,
3
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,746
and-and they're gonna need cash.
4
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:09,052
What the hell?
5
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,619
What are you doing here?
6
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,229
I'm saving you.
7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,839
Well, damn.
8
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,537
Look, you're just a kid, okay?
9
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,278
You don't understand
what's going on here.
10
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,584
I know my mom lost her job
and got kicked out of the church
11
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,499
because you won't
marry my brother.
12
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:22,587
Where you going?
13
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,936
To dance.
14
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,373
I didn't think
you Baptists did that.
15
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,592
We don't drink, neither. Ooh.
16
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,855
The kids asleep?Yup.
17
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,467
You want to... fool around?
18
00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,338
Are you messing with me?
19
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,036
I'm hoping to.
20
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,168
Well, hot diggity dog.
21
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:42,999
Hey.
22
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,609
Oh, thanks for coming.
23
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,611
Sounded important.
What's going on?
24
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:49,440
Walk with me.Okay.
25
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,442
You know that money I owe you?
26
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,444
Oh, you got it?
27
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,490
Yes and no.
28
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,274
Uh, well, which is it?
29
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,059
Yes, I got it,
30
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,669
no, I'm not giving it to you.
31
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,063
I want to give you
32
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,935
a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
33
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,372
Well, I'd prefer my money.
34
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,375
Do you see
any unoccupied machines here?
35
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:13,856
No.Exactly.
36
00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:16,989
We are at capacity.
It's time to expand.
37
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,817
Where?
38
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,777
The video store
right behind that wall
39
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,258
just lost its lease.
40
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,738
Aw, heck. I was gonna
pick up the new John Candy.
41
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:30,133
Well, as my partner
in this enterprise,
42
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:33,136
you can get that new
John Candy for free.
43
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,486
So you're gonna
buy a video store?
44
00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:37,662
Video store in the front,
45
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:41,188
video pokerin the back.
46
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,928
Where are you getting
the poker machine?
47
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,062
Biloxi, Mississippi.Oh. You didn't
learn a lesson
48
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,238
when you got arrested
at the border?Yes.
49
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,935
I learned not
to smuggle contraband
50
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,937
with my idiot grandson.
51
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:55,724
But there's nothing illegal
about buying poker machines.
52
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:56,942
Till you plug 'em in.
53
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,944
Well, sure.
54
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,686
Come on. What do you say?
55
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:05,647
You and me, a panel truck,
Biloxi or bust?
56
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:09,259
So I'm gonna be your partner
in an illegal gambling room?
57
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,305
Hidden by a legal
video store.
58
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:14,612
Connie. Gee...Come on. You said
you want to drive around
59
00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,353
in an RV, see the country.
60
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,573
This is that, but exciting.
61
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:19,965
We could go to jail.
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00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:22,881
That's the exciting part.
63
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:25,797
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
64
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,452
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
65
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,889
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
66
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,979
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
67
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:37,896
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
68
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,553
Hello, Mom.
69
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:43,641
It's your son, Sheldon.
70
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:44,686
Hello, my son, Sheldon.
71
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,122
I have an 8:00 a.m.
72
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,993
class tomorrow,
and I was wondering
73
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,604
if I could spend the night
in my dorm.That's fine.
74
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,258
Now before you answer,
hear me out.
75
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,260
I have a list of reasons
why this is a good idea.
76
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,739
Number one...Sheldon,
77
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,611
I know that you're safe there.
It's fine.
78
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:57,612
That's reason number four.
Please don't skip ahead.
79
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,570
Honey,
80
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:02,747
I trust you. Just go to bed
at a reasonable hour
81
00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,271
and call if you need anything.
82
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,663
Otherwise,
I'll see you tomorrow.
83
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,099
Okay. Number one: I'm not...
84
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,014
Goodbye, Sheldon.
85
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:12,148
Who hangs up on a list?
86
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,802
What's his problem now?
87
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,152
Nothing. He wants to spend
the night at the dorm
88
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,198
so he can get
to an early class.
89
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,504
Really? And you said okay?
90
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,289
He is old enough
91
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:25,770
to have an
overnighter, and...
92
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,425
it might be nice for us
to have a little alone time.
93
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,340
Ooh. What about Missy?
94
00:03:30,471 --> 00:03:31,776
She's having dinner
with a friend.
95
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:34,344
So, the house to ourselves.
96
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,606
I like it.
97
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,913
Hold on.
98
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,697
Hello?SHELDON: Number two--
99
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,482
I have my own bathroom.
Number...
100
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:44,006
Boy, that's a lot
of plates.
101
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,182
What do you want, Georgie?I just talked to Meemaw.
102
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,053
She says she's gonna be out
of town for a couple days.
103
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,098
Yup, she told me.
104
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,796
Patty melt.
Good choice.
105
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,494
Okay. Enjoy.
106
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,800
I'm just worried about you
being all by yourself
107
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,149
in that big house.I'll be fine.
108
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,021
What if there's a tornado?
109
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,631
Did Meemaw ever show you
where her hidey hole is?
110
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,330
Georgie, I'm really busy
right now.Sorry.
111
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,897
I'll swing by Meemaw's later,
maybe bring some takeout.
112
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,986
Don't bother. They send me home
with plenty of food.
113
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,988
Great. Score me
a patty melt, would you?
114
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,382
I won't.I'm gonna go now.
115
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:15,646
What are you doing?Kissing our baby.
116
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,169
You want one, too?
117
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,170
No.
118
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,695
Bye-bye.
119
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:23,088
I'm home.
120
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,658
Anybody here?
121
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:30,052
Missy?Yeah.
122
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,880
You're home early.
123
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,708
It's 7:00.
124
00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,666
Is it?
125
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,668
Are you sleeping?
126
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,061
Yeah.
127
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,323
Where's Dad?
128
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,152
I'm here.
129
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,458
Ugh.
130
00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,330
We were both just real tired.
131
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,854
Please stop talking.
132
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,169
What on earth is going on?
133
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,084
♪ ♪
134
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,521
Aah!
No skateboarding in the hallway.
135
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,306
Aah!
136
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:10,005
This childishness cannot
be allowed to continue.
137
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:12,790
Hello. I need to tattle.
138
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,446
What?
139
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,405
Is your room on fire?
140
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,276
No.
141
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,538
But I see smoke.
142
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,410
Okay.
143
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,455
You need to know
there's people skateboarding
144
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:27,065
and playing loud music
in the hallways.
145
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:29,633
What do you want me
to do about it?
146
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,069
You're the resident advisor.
147
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,114
It's your job
to enforce the rules.
148
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,769
I'll get right on it.
149
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:36,379
Thank you.
150
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:41,123
The system works.
151
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,347
Ugh.
152
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,698
Oh, I'm gonna be
so cranky tomorrow.
153
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,400
So, how'd you hear
about these poker machines?
154
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:58,749
I know a guy.
155
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,272
What kind of guy?
156
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,666
A guy who knows a guy.
157
00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,929
Well, what do you know
about that guy?
158
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,975
He owned a riverboat casino.
159
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,455
He owned?
160
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:09,673
He might be dead.
161
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,240
Dead?
162
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,589
He might not be.
163
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,895
They never found the body.
164
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,766
Oh, my God.
165
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,507
Exciting, huh?No.
166
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,988
It's upsetting.Oh, now, come on.
167
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,382
You've been in the sporting
goods business long enough.
168
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,427
Haven't you ever sold
a bunch of shoulder pads
169
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:25,776
that fell off
the back of a truck?
170
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,387
Absolutely not.
171
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,954
I buy 'em from a reputable
company named Tuffy.
172
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,434
Boring.
173
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,706
I smell your shampoo.
174
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,186
Aw, damn it.
175
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:46,493
How long have you been
sitting out there?
176
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,495
All night.And why?
177
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,324
Are you familiar with Arkham
Asylum from the Batmancomics?
178
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,761
No.Well, it's a madhouse,
179
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,850
as is my dormitory
after the sun goes down.
180
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,808
Sheldon, I am the president
of this university.
181
00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,636
I don't handle noise complaints.
182
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,638
That's why
there's a resident advisor.
183
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,162
Oh, I went to him.And?
184
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,512
You saw me sleeping
on the bench like a hobo.
185
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:06,991
What do you think?Can't you just--
186
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:08,950
I don't know-- chalk this up as
187
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,604
part of the college experience?
188
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,606
Yeah, the clown college
experience.
189
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,259
I'm sorry. I'm cranky.
190
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,261
I've compiled a
list of reasons
191
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,221
why I should be appointed
the dormitory R.A.
192
00:07:19,351 --> 00:07:21,005
Number one...Fine. You're the R.A.
193
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,747
Okay. "Number one:
I love rules--
194
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,270
"creating them,
following them,
195
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,881
and most fun of all,
enforcing them."
196
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,230
You're the R.A., Sheldon.
197
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,145
Excellent.
"Number two-- punishment
198
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,408
for rule infractions must be
both fair and merciless."
199
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,374
Hmm.Ooh. Eggs andpancakes.
200
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,117
That's what a lumberjack gets
for chopping all that wood.
201
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:48,076
I'll be Paul Bunyan,
202
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,600
you can be my babe,
the blue fox.
203
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,081
George.
204
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,213
Ugh. Still?
205
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,432
Morning, honey.
206
00:07:56,563 --> 00:07:57,781
What is happening
with you two?
207
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,087
What do you mean?
208
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,480
Is one of you dying?
209
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,612
No one's dying.
210
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,266
Sometimes, married people kiss.
211
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,573
On TV maybe, not here.
212
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:10,620
Well, young lady, how do you
think you came into this world?
213
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,754
Okay, you're freaking me out.
214
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:20,674
Here you go,
as advertised.
215
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:26,027
All right.
Those look good.
216
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,682
Wait. Hold on.
How do we know they work?
217
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:31,554
What kind of operation
you think I'm running here?
218
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,905
Well, I don't know. The word
"sketchy" comes to mind.
219
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,211
Be cool.
220
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,866
Uh, you mind
if we plug a couple in?
221
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,650
Mind if you show me the money?
222
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,957
Sure. Turn around.
223
00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:44,175
Why?
224
00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,264
You want the money or not?
225
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,832
Okay, go ahead.
226
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,008
Yeah.
227
00:09:01,149 --> 00:09:02,324
Okay.
228
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,805
20 grand.
229
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,371
Light 'em up.
230
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,949
That's the sexiest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
231
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,038
Really?
232
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:23,519
Well, I just took my pants off.
233
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,434
Attention, residents
of Bower Hall.
234
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,350
My name is Sheldon Cooper,
and I'm your new R.A.
235
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,265
The age of chaos is over.
236
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:31,571
I repeat, the age
of chaos is over.
237
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,137
Please take a moment
238
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,748
to familiarize yourself
with the dormitory rules
239
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,793
posted on the bulletin board.
240
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:40,492
Ignorance of these rules is no
excuse, and violators will be...
241
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:48,239
New rule. Unauthorized use
of my bullhorn is forbidden.
242
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:51,112
I repeat. Unauthorized...STUDENT : Shut up.
243
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,637
Anybody home?
244
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:57,292
Oh, good. You're here.
245
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,163
Hey.
246
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,078
Check it out. I got this video
about childbirth.
247
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:02,558
I thought
we could watch it tonight.
248
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,081
That sounds awful.
249
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,475
Well, it does say
"contains graphic images"
250
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,172
right there on the box.
251
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,435
Maybe some other time, Georgie.
252
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,699
No worries. I also picked up
Look Who's Talking,
253
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:15,179
which is just about a baby
who says stuff.
254
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,094
If you're trying to make this,
like, a date night
255
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,053
or something,
it's not happening.
256
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,794
Oh, who said anything
about a date?
257
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,361
It's just us having dinner
and watching a movie.
258
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:25,581
Last time we did that
I wound up pregnant.
259
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,931
Mm, that was a good date.
260
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,194
Well, that's not
happening tonight.
261
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,892
I get it. Nothing romantic.
262
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:34,329
Just two future parents watching
the miracle of childbirth
263
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,767
or a movie that got two
thumbs up from Siskel and Ebert.
264
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,334
And not only that.
265
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:40,988
Then someone
defaced my rule sheet
266
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,598
with a drawing of testicles.
267
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,341
Well, that is so immature.
268
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:48,604
I agree. Simply naming me
dorm R.A. isn't enough
269
00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,127
to command respect.
270
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,955
I need a physical symbol
of my authority,
271
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:53,435
like the way a king
had a scepter.
272
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,306
So, you want a scepter?
273
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,526
No, that could be used
against me.
274
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,832
Ooh, how about a badge?
275
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,268
I'd be like a Texas Ranger
276
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:01,965
who patrols the halls
of a dormitory.
277
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,925
Well, these all just
such terrific ideas but,
278
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:07,667
um, how about an official letter
from my desk
279
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:11,061
with a handwritten note
attesting to your position?
280
00:11:11,192 --> 00:11:15,631
All right.
"To the students of Bower Hall."
281
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,111
That's your handwriting?
282
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,940
"This document
283
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:24,379
"bestows on Sheldon Cooper
all the powers
284
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,686
and privileges
of resident advisor."
285
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,122
"Bestows." I like it.
286
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,214
Sloppy, but I like it.
287
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,216
♪ I can see a new horizon ♪
288
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,826
♪ Realize♪
289
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,610
♪ That will keep me realizin' ♪
290
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,657
♪ You're the biggest part
of me... ♪
291
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,093
Nope.
292
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,616
♪ Need your lovin'
here beside... ♪
293
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:47,619
Well, I got to tell you,
294
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,187
that was pretty exciting.Mm. I told you.
295
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:52,276
For a while there,
I felt like Bonnie and Clyde,
296
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,278
without all the murder
and mayhem.
297
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,890
Well, the night's still young.
298
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:02,025
So at the risk of sounding
more like Bonnie than Clyde, uh,
299
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,419
where do we stand
in our relationship?
300
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:07,030
You're the one
who broke up with me.
301
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:10,642
Oh, maybe
I've rethought the situation.
302
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,383
So you were wrong.
303
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:16,039
I don't believe
there's any right or wrong here.
304
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:19,086
Say it. Say you were wrong.
305
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,697
I do regret it.
306
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,439
Because... you were...
307
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:26,180
wrong.
308
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:28,530
Yes.
309
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,099
So what do you say-- you want
to give it another chance?
310
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:33,448
Hang on.
311
00:12:33,578 --> 00:12:34,797
Just give me a straight answer.
312
00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,756
I'm a big boy.
I can take it.
313
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,366
I think we're being followed.
314
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,150
What?
315
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,543
No.
316
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,545
The pickup truck?
317
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:44,894
The orange Pinto.
318
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:46,504
I saw it when
we gassed up.
319
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,071
It's been two cars back
ever since.
320
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,552
I'm gonna speed up
and see what happens.
321
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:54,077
We're being followed.
322
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,383
Are you still excited?
323
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,906
No, I'm upset.
324
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:57,951
Good.
325
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,866
Then we're on the same page.
326
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,398
Open up. It's the R.A.
327
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,053
Yeah?
328
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,055
It's quiet hours.
You have to turn the music off.
329
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:16,970
Says who?Me, the R.A.
330
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,667
You probably didn't hear me
over the music.
331
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:23,237
Maybe this will convince you.
332
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,586
Her cursive is
maybe questionable,
333
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,414
but trust me,
my authority is not.
334
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:31,985
♪ I know, yeah... ♪
335
00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,857
Joke's on you.
I have Scotch tape.
336
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,687
I don't see him anywhere.
Do you?
337
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,081
Nope.Oh, man.
338
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,344
Well, now that
that's over, I'm starting
339
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,172
to feel the excitement again.
340
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,261
Crazy, right? I think
that's the way danger works.
341
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,916
Oh, it's like a rollercoaster.
342
00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,613
Well,
343
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:54,529
ain't this a coincidence.
344
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,096
Oh, come on.
345
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,101
What's up?Mom and Dad are being weird.
346
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,450
Can I hang out here?
347
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,930
Actually, ain't a good time.
348
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,235
Come on in, Missy.
349
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,499
Dang it.
350
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,110
Sucker.
351
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,111
Good.
352
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,590
Ooh, Look Who's Talking.
353
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,854
Classic.Hey, did you know
354
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,681
the baby is the guy
from Die Hard?
355
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:18,988
No.Yeah.
356
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,381
He can do everything.
357
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,469
I was sitting there.
358
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:22,992
Yeah, well, now you're not.
359
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,254
I'm being nothing but nice here.
360
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,690
I don't know why
you got to give me a hard time.
361
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:28,215
Why? I'll tell you why.
362
00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,870
You ruined my life.
Is that enough "why" for you?
363
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,523
Hey, you weren't so innocent.
364
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,699
If I recall, you provided
alcohol to a minor-- me.
365
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:36,092
That's illegal.
366
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,703
You lied about your age.You lied first.
367
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,836
Okay, you know what? Let's not
do this in front of your sister.
368
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,230
It actually feels normal.
Keep going.
369
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,797
And let's not forget, I only
lied 'cause you're hot.
370
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,017
Oh, my God.
We don't need
371
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,540
to watch a movie
about a talking baby.
372
00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,020
You're right here.
373
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:53,980
Ooh, lock the door,
lock the door.
374
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,504
No one's home.Just in case.
375
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,075
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.Mmm. Mmm.
376
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:05,687
I have a wild and crazy idea.Ooh,
377
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,254
I like where this is headed.
378
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:10,257
Let's make a baby.
379
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,955
You're kidding, right?
380
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:16,916
I don't know. It might
be fun to start over.
381
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,614
Fun?
What house you been living in?
382
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:23,400
I'm serious. We've been
getting along so great,
383
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:26,708
and I have all this
extra time on my hands.
384
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,753
Uh, let's take advantage.
385
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,191
Your son's about to have a baby.
You can take care of that one.
386
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,757
No, my mother called dibs.
387
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:34,759
Your mother's
a million years old.
388
00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:36,109
You think she's gonna be
changing diapers
389
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,980
in the middle of the night?
390
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:39,547
I'll tell you
what your problem is.
391
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:40,722
you got kicked out
of your church,
392
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,854
your-your kids are grown up,
393
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:44,900
you're feeling sorry
for yourself, and,
394
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,207
yeah, you think
a baby'll solve the problem.
395
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,385
Well? Say something.
396
00:15:51,515 --> 00:15:54,214
You make me so mad.
397
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,565
Where you going?
398
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,741
We can still do it mad.
399
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:03,223
So what do you
want, uh...
400
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,574
Dennis.Right.
401
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:09,403
Dennis. Tough name.
402
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,667
So what do you want... Dennis?
403
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:16,801
Couldn't help noticing you got
Texas plates on that truck.
404
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:20,936
Operating poker machines
ain't legal in Texas.
405
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,720
So what are you, a cop?
406
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:26,072
No, no, I'm just a guy who might
call the cops, you know,
407
00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:29,162
if we don't come
to an arrangement.
408
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,598
Can I take your order?
409
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,252
Thank you, honey.
410
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,123
You know, I got a hankering
for chicken fried steak.
411
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,735
Gravy on top,
but only if it's cream gravy.
412
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:42,131
And the mashed potatoes with
more cream and gravy on top.
413
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,134
And, uh, ice tea
when you can.
414
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,484
No gravy on that.
415
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,617
And how about for you two?
416
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,707
I'm gonna use your restroom.
417
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,144
He knows what I like.
418
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:57,277
You're leaving?Uh-huh.
419
00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,236
I got to tinkle.Uh.
420
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:03,196
Uh,
421
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,634
I guess I'll have the waffles,
422
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,637
and the lady will have, um...
423
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,120
...also waffles.
424
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:18,254
So, what do you think?
425
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,908
Well, Dennis, I'm not
the guy to talk to.
426
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:23,651
Uh, why don't we wait
for the boss to finish tinkling?
427
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,831
But I do got to tell you,
this is my first shakedown.
428
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,833
Don't think of it
like that.
429
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:34,183
It's just a
business arrangement.
430
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,533
Well, I've been a businessman
for 38 years,
431
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:39,232
and I don't think I've ever
been threatened before.
432
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,321
What kind of business you in?
433
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:47,066
Hello?Huh?
434
00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:49,807
What kind of business you in?
435
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,595
Groomer.Hmm.
436
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,336
Dog groomer, yeah.
437
00:17:56,466 --> 00:18:01,297
Cats if you make me, but
I pretty much love the doggies.
438
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,603
You ever do birds?
439
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,388
No. Mm-hmm.
Birds got feathers,
440
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,304
and they're... they're
self-grooming, pretty much.
441
00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,915
Yeah, I always thought
cats were self-grooming.
442
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:14,223
Well, people think that,
but, no. No, you got to...
443
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:16,617
You got to dip a cat
once in a while.
444
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,924
Well, okay then.
445
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,318
Where are you going?
446
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:25,147
Dennis, I am really sorry
about this.
447
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,292
May I help you?
448
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:40,467
There's no hot water.
449
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,077
There is for rule followers.
450
00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:43,383
You can't just turn off
the hot water.
451
00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,688
Yeah.Yeah.
452
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,168
If you want the benefits
of civilization,
453
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,517
you have to behave
in a civilized manner.
454
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,258
The decision is yours.
455
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,828
I don't need a pen and paper
to take names.
456
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,830
You. What's your name?
457
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,006
You know I'll find out
and there will be consequences.
458
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,357
Hey, what are you...
459
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,759
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
460
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:14,762
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
461
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,808
and TOYOTA.
462
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,898
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
31983
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