All language subtitles for The Haunting in Connecticut (2009).en

B mark.

- Frame.
- Action.

Why do you think
this happened to you?

You mean why do bad things
happen to good people?

That's the real question, right?

Why us?

I mean, that's really
what everybody wants to know.

I moved into the house because
it's what we needed at that time.

We didn't ask for this
and we didn't deserve it.

The fact is, I don't know
why this happened to us.

We were just a regular family
like anybody else.

The doctors didn't believe that...

...he would survive,
and anyone who's had a sick child...

...would understand the feeling
that you're losing your grasp on them...

...and something's pulling them
from the other side...

...which is really what was happening
in that house.

Please, God, don't make him suffer.

Please make it work, or I'll never-

You know, I hear that talking to yourself
is the first sign of losing it.

I was not talking to myself.
I was talking to God.

Well, threatening the creator
of the universe is, like, step two.

That can't be good.

I was not threatening him.

I was simply letting him know
how precious you are to me.

You gotta pull over, Mom.
I'm gonna be sick.

Very funny.

No, I'm serious.
I'm really gonna be sick.

It's whatever. Just don't look,
Mom, okay? I'm all right.

Come and get me,
wiener head.

Hey, Mom.

- Who you calling a wiener head?
- No.

- Morning.
- Morning.

Didn't hear you come in.
What time did you get home?

Around 4.

Jesus. I know it's a long way,
but how did it take you eight hours?

You really wanna know how many times
we stopped so he could vomit?

God.

How is he now?

He's all right.
I think he's still sleeping.

- Let me get breakfast. You go to bed.
- It's okay.

Wendy's helping
and I'm kind of wired from driving.

- Good morning, Aunt Sara.
- Morning, honey.

- Sorry about the chaos.
- It's better than my house.

- Take this in to the hungry hordes.
- Yes.

Okay, guys. Here you go.

This is not good. One of these nights...

...you'll drive off the road,
you'll be so tired.

- I wish we could just move there.
- And in the meantime?

Pay mortgage and a rent?

And now we've taken in Wendy
and Mary and-

One a built-in babysitter,
the other a little angel.

I know, but...

...every penny we have is sunken in
the business. We didn't plan on-

Nobody plans on having a child
with cancer.

You know that's not what I meant.

I know.

Look, you're right. Let's just do it.

Let's get a rental house in Connecticut
near the hospital.

But what are you gonna do?
And how are we gonna afford it?

I can come up on the weekends...

...get a second mortgage
on our second mortgage.

We're gonna make it through this,
right?

Definitely.

See you.

His skin may well get burned and red.

It'll blister like a bad sunburn.

He threw up twice today.

Well, that's his cells dying
and being reborn.

Basically, we're waging war
inside Matt's body...

...and the battle's just begun.

That's what I'm afraid of.

But he qualified for the study, Sara.
That's good.

You did the right thing
by bringing him here.

I know.

I don't wanna waste your time,
but how much you asking?

I'll give you the first month free if I
don't have to finish hammering in this sign.

Just needs some love and care and
a good family to bring it back to life.

- So you don't mind children?
- Where would we be without them?

It's perfect.

I mean, it's everything we need.

It's spacious and affordable and I'm
just wondering, where's the catch?

Well...

It does have a bit of a history.

I saw one
that was almost perfect, but...

It just...

It just wasn't right.

They said you'd have body aches,
but no nausea.

Doctor says to patient,
"I've got bad news.

You've got cancer
and you've got Alzheimer's."

Patient says:

"Oh, man. At least I don't have cancer."

At least you won't lose your hair again.

Well, that's something.

- I brought a mattress.
- I can't thank you enough.

Oh, really, don't worry.

- Here's the keys.
- Thanks. Is the heat on?

- Oh, it's really warm in there.
- Okay.

All right. Now you get in and settle.
I'll take this.

I don't know. You know, he was so sick.

And I like this place. It's what we need.

Well, I made an executive decision.
You weren't here.

And he was in so much pain. I just
couldn't put him through another mile.

Oh, great.

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah, it was just a bad dream.

Okay.

Pick of the house, okay?
Any bedroom you want.

Drink this.

They're not that bad.

- All right. Cheers.
- Keep telling yourself that.

Great. Have you ever had one?

Yeah.

Matt?

Matt, did you find a bedroom?

Yeah, I did.

Or it kind of picked me.

- What do you mean, it picked you?
- I don't know. It's the meds.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

Well, which bedroom?

Down here?

- No.
- Why? Come on.

Look, it's nice and it's cool, and best,
it's got its own private bathroom.

Nobody has to hear me.

You don't have to hide from us.

The fact that everybody can
hear me puking...

...it just makes me feel worse, okay?

- What do you think's back there?
- I don't know.

- Hello. Anybody home?
- You okay?

Scared me.

- Hello?
- We're down here.

First one upstairs
gets first choice of rooms.

Mary.

Mary, wait until Aunt Sara and Uncle
Peter tell us where our rooms are.

- Mary.
- No.

- No, it's not fair. I want that room.
- Little monsters.

- No, watch it.
- I got it. I got it.

I'm not gonna croak from carrying
a lamp and an empty suitcase.

That's not what I meant.

I was worried about you
scratching the truck.

- Carry on.
- Okay.

Well, it's a little dark, but,
hey, I was a teenager once.

What's in here?

I don't know. I couldn't open it.

Well...

The doorknob turns, but...

Maybe they sealed it for storage.

Got a great room for Billy...

...and Mary.

And this...

...I thought was a perfect room for you.

And why do you say that?

Well, because it's got a beautiful view...

...and lots of space...

...and a huge closet.

- You like? Okay.
- Yeah.

Hey. I still don't know why
you wanna stay down here.

- Whoa, Mom.
- What?

Are you okay?

Yeah, just thanks for cleaning my room.

No problem.

- Why'd you put the plates back?
- What?

Well, I put the plates out,
and now they're back.

I didn't touch them, sweetie.

Are you all right?

Oh, that's-
Know what, that was my fault.

- They're too heavy.
- No, it's okay. I didn't drop them.

- Well, how did they-
- I don't know. I-

I just saw them up there
and I just-I don't-

- You know, Dr. Brooks said-
- I know what Dr. Brooks said, okay?

He said that if I'm seeing things,
then he'll drop me from the trial.

- But if you-
- I'm not seeing things.

I'm just-I'm tired. And I remember I put
the dishes too close to the edge, so...

You know, you tell me
if something like that happens.

- Promise?
- Yeah, I promise.

I'm so sorry I broke the dishes.

It's okay, sweetie.

Come on, come on.

Got you. It. You're so-

Oh, the burgers. The burgers.
Wait, wait, wait.

- Come and get me.
- All right.

Remember when we used to go
camping when you were young?

Every night you would...

...fall asleep counting the stars,
and you could never finish.

Used to drive you nuts.

You know, most of the stars
that we see are already dead.

They look pretty alive to me.

That's because they haven't gotten
the news yet.

Hey.

You all right?

Yeah. Everything's cool.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

All right.

Give me five.

Up high. Down low. Too slow.

I love you.

You know, it's sort of like a vacation.

Yeah, if Matt wasn't sick-

And you get your own room,
like a big girl.

Sure you're not gonna be scared
in here all alone?

I've got my toys.

Okay.

You go.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I shall die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen.

To bind the spirits.

Noncontact dermatitis.

A trauma in one place manifests
on another part of the body.

It's not uncommon.

No fever. Excellent. Less nausea.
Good. Even a bit of an appetite.

Outstanding. And no visual
or auditory hallucinations...

...or other behavioral abnormalities?

Anything?

No.

Then we can continue to stage two.

Careful.

Watch your step.

Okay, you're almost there.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

I forgot my purse.
I'll be right back. Wait here.

- Okay.
- All right?

Mom?

The blue one that he takes for nausea?
Twenty-five bucks a pill.

I know. I tried.
But, Peter, I was on hold for an hour.

Matt?

Matt.

Where are you?

I'm in here.

How'd you get in here?

What is this place?

Hop on.

Take you for a ride.

Slow down.

Matt. Matt.

Stop.

Let me off!

Stop.

Matt. Matt.

- What's going on down here?
- What's the matter with you?

I guess I must've loosened it.

Good Lord.

Now we know
why the rent was so cheap.

What did you know, and when the hell
did you know it? Jesus.

Know what?

What this place was.

Aren't you the one
who says we can't live on lies?

Well, that's before,
when you were a drunk and a liar.

Right, but I'm not now.

I know.

I'm sorry, Peter.

And you're right, I should've told you.
It just...

We needed a place,
and it just seemed perfect.

Okay, so we all know now
that this was a funeral home.

Big deal.

It's not now and it hasn't been
for years and years.

It's just a house.

Bricks and nails and wood.

It's our house until Matt finishes
at the hospital.

And we're all under a lot of stress...

...so we need to pull together
like a team, okay?

Okay. So who wants to say grace?

Matt?

Matt?

- Matt.
- Jonah. Jonah.

Honey?

Are you all right?

Matt?

- What's wrong?
- It's the medicine.

Didn't you see it?

Come on.

So, what happened?

Do you remember that book we
used to read when we were little kids?

The one with all...

...the weird pictures?

The Man Who Wasn't There.

Used to love that book.

Yeah, I remember.

As I was walking up the stair
I saw a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today.

- Oh, how I wish he'd go away.
- Oh, how I wish he'd go away.

Yeah.

Do you remember the other one?

Maybe. Which one?

It was one bright day
In the middle of the night.

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back-to-back they faced one another.

They drew their swords
And they shot each other.

A deaf policeman, he heard the noise.

And he came
And he killed those two dead boys

Matt, you're scaring me.

Well, join the club.

Oh, now, that didn't hurt.

You were dreaming.

Been breathing heavy,
and so, of course...

...it can either mean it was
a very bad dream or a very good one.

Well, I've had better.

I don't know, it's just, like,
that sometimes lately it's been tough.

What?

I don't know, like, do you ever,
like, see things?

Like, hear things that just-
They can't be there?

You don't ever wanna tell them
you can see things, okay?

They're not gonna understand.

I remember when my wife was dying...

...that whole last day
I sat there praying, crying.

And she never once looked up at me.

She just looked all around her.

At all the others in the room.

But we were alone.

Or so I thought.

See, she was where we are.

In the valley...

...of the shadow of death.

Hey, you know what to do
when you find yourself in the valley?

No.

Fear no evil.

If you wanna talk or...

Just call. Any time.

Are you sure
you have to go home tonight?

If I'm not there at the site
first thing in the morning...

...they will hire another contractor
and then, you know...

I'm proud of you.

What, me?

- Yeah.
- For what?

For working so hard.

And for keeping your promises.

All of them.

You're naughty.
You can't play with that.

It's mine.

You know, you're a bad doll.
You said you would make Matt better.

You said you would, but you lied.
"No, I didn't."

Oh, yes, you did. You said you would.

You're gonna have to have
a timeout and...

I'm gonna put you in the timeout corner.

"That's really mean."

Turn the lights on, please.

Thank you.

Matt?

Come on, honey. Come on.

Hey, hey, hey, watch it.
Watch the milk.

Billy, I'm serious.

- Is Mary a total goon?
- No.

"Oh, yeah."

Is Billy a poop head?

"But of course, my dear."

Language, language.
Here. Eat, eat, eat.

Come on. Stop.
I gotta go to work, okay?

Wendy is in charge.

Okay?

I'm sorry, honey.

See you, Mom.

You be good or else you guys
have to deal with me.

Okay?

I'm just kidding. It's okay.

Fifty-one, 52...

...53, 54, 55...

...56, 57, 58, 59, 60.

Here I come.

Jonah.

Jonah!

Jonah!

Where are you, son?

Come here.

- Don't.
- You're not leaving.

I'm sorry.

Wendy?

Wendy! Help! Wendy!

Oh, for God's sakes.

Just leave me alone.

It's okay, it's okay.

Come on, guys. Let's go.

Billy. Come on.

It's okay, son. It's okay.

- I just-I don't know who else to talk to.
- No, no, no. I'm glad you called.

It's all around us, all the time.

The living and the dead.

Invisible to everyone.

Almost everyone.

Yeah.

Because we're not like
other people anymore.

You see, most people spend
their life firmly planted in this world...

...then one day, they go straight
to the other side, but we...

We take a much more roundabout path.

We spend quite a lot of time
in the borderland.

But either way, only one thing matters.

Yeah, what's that?

Well, find out what he wants from you.

Okay.

What do you want from me?

You know,
that was actually my favorite movie.

- Mom?
- Aunt Sara?

Mom.

You should've told me about this.
These symptoms can be a sign...

...that it's moved to the brain.
But Matt's MRIs are all clear.

He has no tumors.

Whatever was causing the behaviors,
it wasn't that.

I'm just afraid he's gonna lose
his mind before he can get better.

This is a crucial time, but he is still an
excellent candidate for this treatment.

Age counts enormously, and attitude.

Attitude?

His own family is afraid of him.

Where's your truck?

I sold it.

Why didn't you tell me?

I just did.

Paid the last round of bills,
this month's mortgage. Today.

Like doc says, attitude.

Oh, honey.

I'm so sorry.
I just love you so much.

Mom, love hurts.

Mom, just-

Look, I want you to know that if-

If what?

- That if I die-
- You won't.

It's not your fault.

No.

No. You can't have him.

Can't have my son.

Hey.

We're bored.

Please play with us.

Why don't you ask Matt?

Yeah, why don't you ask Matt?

You okay?

I'm outstanding.

Okay, come on, guys.
I'll count to 30...

...and let's see if we can find some
new hiding places this time.

Matt.

Go on.

One, two, three, four, five.

There's room for me too.

Find your own spot.

Twenty-nine, 30.

Ready or not, here I come.

Let me out of here!

Help!

Get me out of here!

Get me out!

Get me out of here!

What happened? What? Come here.

What? What is it? What?

Okay.

- Mary?
- I'm over here.

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

Wait. Be careful.
Hey, the floor must be rotten.

- Rotten? Where?
- Well, here for sure...

...where Mary's leg fell through.

Just stand back, okay?

Hey.

- You're okay.
- Bugs.

Okay. Come here. You okay? Yeah?

What is that?

- Oh, God.
- Oh, my.

What is it?

Okay. Come on.

Playtime's over.

God, they're all...

...dead.

So sad. It's probably the only time
they ever had their photo taken.

What are those?

I don't know.

You all right?

Yeah.

These are really weird.
It has to be fake.

Let me see those.

What?

- Nothing.
- Matt, come on.

Just give me a chance.

- I've seen him.
- Shut up.

Gave you a chance.

I'm sorry, okay? Just...

Go on.

Please?

I thought that I was hallucinating,
but I have seen this kid...

...almost every day
since we've been here.

Okay, I wake up in the middle
of the night...

...and it feels like he's been inside me...

...looking out through my eyes.

One bright day
In the middle of the night.

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Okay, me and him,
we're just two dead boys.

Maybe the place is haunted.

Either way,
I mean, we need to find out...

...who put these things
under the floorboards and why.

Yeah, but how?

Okay, well, don't tell anyone,
but there are these buildings...

...all over the country where
secret knowledge is kept, known only...

...as libraries.

Okay, so check it out:
"A Case of Materialization."

That is Ramsey Aickman,
and this was his mortuary.

Now, he had a very interesting hobby:
Psychical research.

And your guy, dead kid,
his name was Jonah...

...and he was Aickman's assistant
and a medium.

Supposedly, they contacted
the dead through Jonah...

...and people came to have chats
with their dead hubby or wife...

...or find out where Auntie Mame
hid the family jewels.

Now, he claims that he discovered
how to amplify the seances.

So he not only contacted the dead,
but he made things appear.

What things?

Ectoplasm.

And what is ectoplasm?

A mysterious protoplasmic substance
streaming out of the body of mediums.

So it's just like in those pictures
in the box.

Photographs of ectoplasm often
show a gelatinous material oozing...

...from all the natural orifices
of the medium.

From mouth, ears, nose, eyes
and even the lower orifices.

So Aickman held all those seances
in this house...

...and people came
from all over and were convinced.

Harvard professors,
all kinds of big shots.

I mean, Aickman and Jonah's
seances were famous.

Well, do we know
what happened to him?

Well, here's where it gets
a little weirder.

So there was a seance
led by Aickman...

...with Jonah as the medium.

All four sitters and Aickman
were found dead.

- Cause of death not clear.
- So Jonah killed them.

Nobody knows. No sign of him.

He was missing, vanished,
never seen again.

Well, until now.

Well, here's the weirdest part of all.
Okay, so 30 years later...

...when they expanded the highway...

...they did the detour through
the cemetery-

Wait, we've been on that road
a million times.

This is the thing: When they tried
to relocate some of the old plots...

...they found something weird,
or didn't find.

- What?
- Over a hundred bodies...

...that were supposed to be there
weren't, just empty...

...coffins filled with sandbags.

Someone stole the bodies.

Aickman.

Or Jonah. Aickman or Jonah.

Maybe, but why?

I don't know,
but I might know somebody who does.

- Remarkable.
- Do you think it's real?

Well, I've seen plenty of fakes,
but I've seen the real thing once.

Paris. It...

It was the most horrible thing
I've ever seen, but not this.

Must've been a very powerful medium.

What are they?

Eyelids.

Human eyelids.

Well, what are they for?

Necromancy.

Corpse-bothering.

It's a loathsome form of magic.

It's seeking power through control
of the dead via relics of their bodies.

Well, why eyelids?

That's a good question.

I mean, traditionally we'd close the eyes
of the dead so they may...

...rest in darkness.

Now, removing their eyelids keeps
their eyes open, makes them see.

Perhaps he intended them
to be watchmen...

...or guardians of this house...

...or of his secrets.

By the way, I mean,
somewhere there are the bodies...

...that belong to these people,
and he used them.

I think ultimately, Aickman intended
to enhance Jonah's powers.

Well, he amplified his seances.

Somehow he bound the spirits of the
dead to their bodies, yes...

...as an amplifier, probably through
some form of ritual or desecration.

Perhaps buried outside the house?

Perhaps it would help if we prayed
for all those poor souls that died here.

For the boy too.

Mommy?

- Come back.
- Mommy?

Please, please, help me.

- Mommy.
- Help me.

Matt.

Matt.

Matt. Who are you?

What are you doing in my house?

- Matt?
- I'm a reverend.

It's okay. We asked him to come.

- Asked him?
- We met at the-

- Get out of my house.
- Get off. It's fine.

We met at the hospital.
I receive treatment.

- Get out.
- Well, he called me for advice.

- It's a little hard to explain.
- Try.

I believe that there is something evil
in this house...

...something no longer living
and not yet passed over.

And it wants your son.

That's a dangerous situation
for someone who's close to death-

He's not.

And I'm as hopeful as you,
but tell me, have you not...

...felt something strange here?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I appreciate the concern, but this is
not the type of help we need right now.

I'd like you to leave.

Of course.

You're not alone.

Peter?

Matt?

You're kidding.

Hello!

Anybody home?

All the lights are on!

Why are all the lights on?

Ridiculous.

Everybody in this house is sleeping...

...with the lights on
and I wanna know why!

He's been drinking.

Why don't we just build a fire
and throw money into it?

It's okay.

I gotta pay a mortgage,
I'm now paying rent.

Here's another one.

God.

Every single room has got a light on!

Here. Here we go.

Sleep in the dark.

There we go.

Lights out.

There we go.

Yeah.

Peter...

...that was a cruel
and childish thing to do.

All you did was scare everybody
in this house.

Don't. Don't. Don't.

Your family needs your strength,
not your self-pity.

You get drunk again, don't come home.

Matt?

Okay.

I'm so sorry.
I just didn't know who else to call.

It's all right.

- Are you sure you're feeling up to this?
- Well, put it this way, I'm...

I'm exactly the right state of being...

...to traffic with ghosts.

What is that?

Magnets. Iron magnets.

Iron defends from evil.

So it's no accident
that prisons have iron bars...

...to not merely contain the body,
but the evil that may lurk within it.

- What are you looking for?
- Where he died.

Sometimes when death is violent
or filled with anger...

...or fear or any strong emotion...

...it's as if the spirit doesn't pass on.

That's why we cover mirrors,
light candles, open the shades...

...so that they may find their way out.

So a house with a trapped soul
is not so much haunted...

...as it is possessed.

What's down there?

Matt's bedroom.
It's where they used to...

Keep the children upstairs.

Yeah.

He's here.

Do you see him, Matt?

I don't see anything.

That's because you're strong, you're
healthy. You shouldn't see anything.

So this is where you're trapped.

Don't worry.

Whatever you may have done,
we're not here to punish you...

...only to free you.

Like a bird...

...caught in a room.

There must be another way.

Perhaps the other side of that wall.

I have to get his remains
out of the house.

Stop it!

It stopped.

Will Matt be all right now?

Yeah.

The house is quiet and at peace.

But I should warn you that sometimes
for a day or so after...

...strange events, much like aftershocks
from an earthquake.

But don't be alarmed...

...it will pass,
within a day or two at the most.

- Okay.
- All right.

Thank you.

It's okay.

I wish I could say
it was my pleasure, but...

You gonna be okay to drive?

We're all in God's hands.

It's only five more sleeps
till parents' day.

I can't wait.
I got a lot to show you, Dad.

You'll see
how I shoot the bow and arrow...

...and how far I can swim
and they're having a father-son race.

It's gonna be great.

I bet you and me,
we beat all the others...

...unless you're too old
and broke down.

Okay, well, I better go. Bye, Dad.

All right,
whatever was here is gone now.

Now, we've all had
some really bad nights.

Stay here.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my-Oh, my-

Oh, my God.
What have you done to yourself?

All right, I'm gonna follow them. When
I get back, we're getting out of here.

Sir?

They'll be after you now.

Get out.

Somebody help me!

Please! Somebody help me!

Where's Matt?

He's at the hospital.

The doctors are gonna
take care of him, okay?

Hi. We're not home right now,
so please leave a message.

Thanks.

I made a terrible mistake.

Aickman didn't remove their eyelids
to make the dead see...

...but to make them unseen.

So all those missing bodies...

...all those poor souls in torment,
they're still there. They're in the house.

But the boy wasn't evil.

He was trying to free them.

And I removed him.

Now all that's left is their rage.

You must get out now.

Get out now.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. You're here now.
That's all that matters.

He's sedated and comfortable.

We ran his panels.

I'm afraid it's not good news.

His cell count is worse than before.

The treatment has, frankly,
had no effect.

How long do you think he has?

With these numbers,
I don't know what's keeping him alive.

He could go tonight.

There's really no way of saying for sure.

Then can we see him?

Of course.

To fight.

One bright day
In the middle of the night.

Two dead boys got up to fight.

He couldn't have gotten far.

- One bright day in the middle-
- Hi, this is Dr. Brooks.

Get me security right away, please.

Two dead boys got up to fight.

One bright day
In the middle of the night.

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Matt?

Matt?

Matt.

Come over. Come here.

We're gonna play
hide-and-seek now, okay?

Okay, go.

- We have to get out of here. Come on.
- What's going on?

We have to go. We have to-

Matt. Matt, no.

Matt, no. No.

- Get out.
- Matt.

Get out.

Matt. No. Matt.

Get out. Whatever you do,
do not let them put out the fire.

- What about you?
- I'm already dead.

- Matt, come out. Matt.
- Matt.

We'll find him.

Mom. Dad.

Where's Matt?

- He's inside.
- I don't understand.

- I thought you said it was over.
- Matt's trying to end it.

- I gotta get in.
- Ma'am.

No, you gotta let me in there.
I have to get my son.

- Fire.
- Please let me go. Please.

To unbind the spirits.

What are we waiting for? Come on!

Matt!

Oh, my God.

Okay.

All right.

I'm here. I'm here.

The Lord is my shepherd.

I shall not want.

He maketh me
to lie down in green pastures.

He leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul.

He leadeth me
in the path of righteousness.

He helped my son.

We're here. We're here. We're here.

Matt.

Be careful.

Come on, wake up.

Wake up.

He's gonna be okay.
He's gonna be okay.

No. Hold on.

Wake up.

Come on, Matty.
Come on, Matty, breathe.

I love you.

Wake up, Matt.

I just love you so much.

Come on, Matty, wake up.

Please, come on, honey.

Come on.

You'll be all right.

Hey.

He's okay.

I don't really care
if anybody believes me or not.

I know what happened.

Doctors and nurses know
and my family knows.

And my son is alive...

...and well.

That's all that matters.

They say that God works
in mysterious ways.

They just don't always tell you
how mysterious those ways can be.

Consider yourself warned.