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1
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,042
[GRUNTING]
2
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,131
[BARKING]
3
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,928
[DOORBELL RINGING]
4
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,513
[SIREN WAILING]
5
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,797
Evening.
6
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:18,027
WOMAN OVER MACHINE:
Hello. Hello.
7
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,658
- Hello.
- Hello.
8
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,334
- Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
9
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,616
- Hello.
- Hello...
10
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,955
Hello. Hello.
11
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,671
Give it to me!
12
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,511
- Eight bucks?
- Business is slow.
13
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,467
Get a new business
or move out of the neighborhood!
14
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,557
[SCREAMING]
15
00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,186
[SIREN WAILING]
16
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:07,156
WOMAN: Come on.
MAN: Hey, take that! Pig!
17
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,245
Get your hands off me!
18
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,377
So am I ever gonna get an answer
out of you guys?
19
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,551
- Well, sir...
- Well.
20
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:26,931
- Congratulations, captain.
- What is it now, chief?
21
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,020
Oh. It's official.
22
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,345
This is now the worst precinct
in the entire city.
23
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:36,862
Would you look at this?
Burglary, up 36 percent.
24
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,778
Armed robbery, up 20 percent.
25
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,618
Vandalism, up 44 percent.
26
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,913
Sir, I think if you'll check,
burglary is up 48 percent.
27
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,408
There. You hear that?
28
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,869
- Who are you?
- Mauser, sir. M as in "man"...
29
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,920
...A- U-S as in "Sam"...
- Shut up and sit down, Mauser.
30
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:57,545
- He didn't ask for your biography.
- E-R, sir.
31
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,764
Look, Hurst, what do you expect?
32
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:04,724
You cut my budget, you cut my staff.
I got nothing to work with.
33
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:08,387
Look around! These guys are old.
They're tired.
34
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,061
They just can't cut it anymore.
35
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:14,057
Maybe they need
a new captain, Lassard.
36
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:17,734
The mayor wants results.
You remember the mayor?
37
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,900
She wants something done about this.
What do you propose?
38
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,609
Take your nose out of my business,
go to the mayor's office...
39
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,782
...and put it where it usually is.
40
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,331
[PHONE RINGING]
41
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:33,792
You have exactly 30 days to turn
this precinct around, or you are out.
42
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,248
Do you understand me?
Thirty days and that's it!
43
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,920
I need at least a dozen new men.
44
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:43,756
- You can have six.
- Well, thank you!
45
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,092
You better get started.
46
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:49,604
MAUSER:
Excuse me, captain.
47
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,636
Get me the police academy.
I wanna speak to my brother.
48
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,943
MAUSER:
Sir. Chief.
49
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:07,872
Sir, if I may be so bold,
I would like to apologize...
50
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:12,156
...for Captain Lassard's remark about
your nose being up the mayor's...
51
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:17,831
Chief, I've got some new ideas
on how to run this precinct.
52
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:21,962
- Oh, I'll bet you do, Mauser.
- Long-range plans, sir...
53
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,801
...planning steps, deployment.
54
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:30,467
See, sir, it's really a question
of leadership that works.
55
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,893
Lassard's got 30 days.
56
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:38,357
If he should blow it, the job is yours.
57
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,980
I fully understand, sir.
58
00:06:43,986 --> 00:06:48,816
Mauser, you are the most incredible
ass-kisser I have ever seen.
59
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,201
Thank you very much, sir.
I do my best.
60
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,208
[PHONE RINGING]
61
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,339
She must be out to lunch.
Police academy.
62
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,716
Hello. Eric Lassard, please.
63
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:09,223
This is Commandant Eric Lassard
speaking.
64
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,847
- Eric, this is Pete.
- Pete?
65
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,684
- Your brother.
- Pete!
66
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:18,399
How very, very nice of you to call.
How's my baby brother?
67
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,573
Just fine, Eric.
Actually, not too good.
68
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,528
Oh, what's up? Oh, uh...
69
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,565
Eric, I've got a problem here.
70
00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,737
Yeah, we all have our little problems.
71
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:34,039
Yeah, but this one is serious.
72
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,714
I hope you haven't got a girl
into trouble.
73
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:40,923
No. I need to get my hands
on some healthy young men.
74
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,915
I guess there are places
you could go...
75
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:48,048
- Certain bars and so on.
- Eric, what are you talking about?
76
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:50,047
Does Margaret know about this?
77
00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,929
Eric, I'm in trouble here,
and I need some new recruits.
78
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:58,100
Oh, well, that's easy.
79
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:02,939
We have some very, very fine
young graduates here at the academy.
80
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:06,397
Come on. Come on.
Double time. Double time.
81
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,109
Pick it up. Move it. Move it.
82
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,240
Come on! Move it!
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
83
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:21,075
Now, Brian, I want you
to go straight to class today.
84
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:24,250
- Why should I?
- Because I said so.
85
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,300
- Big deal.
- You mind your manners, mister.
86
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:33,295
- I don't have to, bird face.
- That does it. You're in trouble.
87
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:36,641
Oh, I'm just really scared.
88
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:44,765
- Can I help you, ma'am?
- Yes, officer.
89
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,491
My son Brian is always late for school.
Could you speak to him?
90
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:53,113
- Perhaps give him a little scare?
TACKLEBERRY: Certainly, ma'am.
91
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,248
Hi, Brian.
92
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:02,333
It's almost 0800 hours.
Time to deploy for school.
93
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,040
I'll go when I'm ready.
94
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,963
You're ready now, mister.
95
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,633
[BRIAN COUGHING]
96
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,472
TACKLEBERRY:
Now move it! Move it! Move it!
97
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,676
MOTHER: Thank you, officer.
TACKLEBERRY: No problem, ma'am.
98
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:27,151
- It's really no better than television.
- I wouldn't know.
99
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,026
I never watch television.
100
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,202
Personally, I don't even own a television.
101
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,195
[IMITATES LOUD MUNCHING]
102
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,384
[ROARING]
103
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:53,587
[SNORTING]
104
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,387
Hungry, Diane?
105
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:06,188
[TRUMPETING]
106
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,031
[SLURPING]
107
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,614
[BELCHES]
108
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,525
For God's sakes, Michael,
just take me home.
109
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,541
[TONY WARREN'S "DIRTY WORK"
PLAYS OVER RADIO]
110
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,998
Somebody's got to do it
111
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,214
It's dirty work
112
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:26,583
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
113
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,379
It's dirty work
114
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,210
Somebody got
Somebody got to do it
115
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,551
Somebody's got to do it
116
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,259
Hi. How are you?
117
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,893
I must be crazy
To do the things I do
118
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:46,902
Workin' all this overtime
Takin' care of you
119
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:51,228
One tough assignment
Keepin' you in line
120
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:55,404
Every time I turn around
You're playin' with my mind
121
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,073
All the things you put me through
122
00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,992
[HONKING]
123
00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:03,542
It's a full-time job loving you
Oh
124
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:07,464
It's dirty work
Somebody's got to do it
125
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,957
It's dirty work
126
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:13,916
You know somebody
Somebody's got to do it
127
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,803
- Hey, Tim.
- Mahoney, what's happening?
128
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,507
- How you doing?
- All right!
129
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,968
- Listen, Tim, I got a problem.
- What's that?
130
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,808
- There's some guy ripping up my beach.
- No!
131
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:25,274
- Yeah.
- Who was it?
132
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:26,604
You!
133
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:29,654
- Listen, Tim. Do me a favor.
- You got it!
134
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,824
- Get off the beach.
- You don't got it!
135
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:35,492
- Come on, Tim, be a good boy.
- No way! Out, guys!
136
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:37,992
So long, fuzz ball!
137
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,827
It's dirty work
But somebody's got to do it
138
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:43,202
It's dirty work
139
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,659
You know that
Somebody's got to care
140
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:50,165
It's dirty work
It ain't easy
141
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,464
It's dirty work
142
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:56,759
You know somebody
Somebody's got to do it
143
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:05,470
[SCREAMING]
144
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:08,726
Got to do it
145
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,479
[CROWD CHEERING]
146
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:17,113
Never fool with a fuzz ball.
147
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:27,503
It's a real pleasure to welcome you men,
and you, to the 16th Precinct.
148
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:32,963
My brother tells me you're among
the finest ever to graduate the academy.
149
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:39,670
The 16th serves and protects
what was once a great neighborhood.
150
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:43,182
Unfortunately, a vicious gang
has taken over...
151
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,755
...and they're trying
to control the streets.
152
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:48,733
We don't know who they are
or where they come from.
153
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,063
We do know that they are scum.
154
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:55,901
And it is our job to find them
and bust them.
155
00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,900
You've all received training in the latest
techniques in urban law enforcement.
156
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,621
Any of you have any special skills
that I should know about?
157
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,754
I just learned to perform an emergency
tracheotomy with a steak knife, sir.
158
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:18,590
So these academy rats
are gonna save the precinct, right?
159
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,716
Hey, personally, lieutenant,
I hope they fall flat on their asses.
160
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,755
- That could be arranged, you know.
- What do you mean?
161
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:30,771
If they fail, Lassard's out.
That makes me the captain.
162
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,595
If I'm captain, I'll need
a new watch commander.
163
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,062
So?
164
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:41,032
- So we make sure they fail.
- Who?
165
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,109
- The new recruits.
- Why?
166
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,412
If they fail, Lassard is out. I'm in.
167
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,036
I'm gonna need somebody
to be the new watch commander.
168
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,794
- Oh.
- And you know who that's gonna be.
169
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,128
- Who?
- You, dickhead. You.
170
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,423
Oh!
171
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,753
Oh, good idea.
172
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:04,973
- Not playing with a full deck, are you?
- Oh, I don't play cards.
173
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:10,774
I want this to be the best damn
Crime Suppression Unit in the city.
174
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:15,143
I want us to stand proud and walk tall.
175
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,482
More than anything...
176
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:21,282
...I want this to be, well...
177
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,363
...one big family...
178
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:27,781
...with a bunch of brothers
and little sister...
179
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,334
...and one big mother.
180
00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:36,461
Wake up!
I am your watch commander.
181
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,835
When you foul up,
and you will foul up...
182
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,295
...I'm gonna be there
to write up a report.
183
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:48,296
Three bad reports,
and you're suspended.
184
00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:51,969
- What is your name?
- Hooks, sir.
185
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,351
- Say that again.
- Hooks.
186
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:58,807
Hooks. Well, Officer Hooks,
can I please see your service revolver?
187
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,363
Don't point that gun at me.
188
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,703
- There's no round in the chamber.
- I was afraid it might go off.
189
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,985
Oh, heavens to be! It might go off!
That's one for Hooks.
190
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:16,159
You're on report.
See how it works? It's real simple.
191
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,875
This squad deploys
each day at 1000 hours.
192
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,174
[WATCH PLAYS REVEILLE]
193
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,718
Precisely 1000 hours.
194
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:30,223
Since you boys and girls
are only rookies...
195
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:33,557
...you will be assigned
a veteran officer...
196
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,184
...who will write up a report.
197
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,522
[WATCH PLAYS REVEILLE]
198
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:41,768
Okay, read the assignments.
199
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:44,858
- Fackler!
- Yes, sir.
200
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,277
Officer Fackler. The gentleman
on your right is Officer Dooley.
201
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,657
A fine man.
He's gonna teach you a lot.
202
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,865
PROCTOR: Tackleberry?
- Yes, sir, sir!
203
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,874
Officer Tackleberry.
You're trained for motorcycle duty?
204
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,205
Yes, sir!
205
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:05,168
You've got it.
Meet Officer Kirkland at the motor pool.
206
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:11,049
- Thank you, sir!
- Well, get going. Yeah! Go, go, go, go.
207
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,760
- Hightower.
- Yo!
208
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,893
- Yo?
- Yo, sir.
209
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:20,769
Yo, sir! Must be from the South.
It's, "Yes, sir."
210
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,938
You got foot patrol.
Okay, that's it.
211
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:27,438
- Thank you for your patience.
- What about me? Don't I get a car?
212
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,951
"What about me, sir?
Don't I get a car?"
213
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:33,204
You don't get a car.
You get yourself a nice little desk...
214
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:38,707
...with a nice little chair, in a nice
little office, for your nice little voice.
215
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:46,094
- Asshole.
MAUSER: That's two.
216
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:52,798
Chest, 48.
217
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:57,273
Waist, 44.
218
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,307
- Outseam, 39.
- Hey, can I have that giraffe?
219
00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:02,848
- No.
- Oh.
220
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,863
I got an idea.
221
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:12,108
- How's about for a Snickers bar?
- You got it.
222
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,991
Oh. Thanks.
223
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,333
WOMAN:
Overall, 48.
224
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:30,297
Next.
225
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,473
Please take off your gun belt.
226
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:44,351
Chest, 37.
227
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:49,193
Waist, 32. Okay, turn around.
228
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:56,817
Please be gentle.
229
00:18:02,706 --> 00:18:05,206
Jones, got you figured for an asshole.
230
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,285
I don't take shit from you people.
I'm not gonna start.
231
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:12,052
Don't think, don't talk, don't breathe
unless I tell you. Understand?
232
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,546
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
233
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,048
We're gonna get along just fine.
234
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,927
[IMITATES TIRE KNOCKING]
235
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,102
- Did you hear that?
- No, sir.
236
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,693
Doggone it! We got ourselves a flat tire.
Get out and check your side.
237
00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,204
Mine's okay. How's yours?
238
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,368
Fine, sir.
239
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,134
[JONES IMITATES FLAT TIRE]
240
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:52,878
OFFICER:
There it goes again.
241
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:02,274
Officer Eugene Tackleberry
reporting for duty, sir!
242
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,602
Officer Kathleen Kirkland...
243
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,898
...and I appreciate
you not calling me sir.
244
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:18,235
All right. Mount up, Tackleberry.
Let's go.
245
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,253
Oh, this neighborhood ain't so bad.
246
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,129
You know the secret
to being a good cop?
247
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,587
You gotta get to know the people.
248
00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:41,097
- Yo, man, you got a match?
- Sure. Here. Keep the pack.
249
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,773
- Thank you.
- Good. Very good!
250
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:48,603
That's the idea, son. You gotta
build up trust with the people.
251
00:19:48,812 --> 00:19:51,112
Then they'll respect you.
Know what I mean?
252
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,435
- Mm-hm.
- Give me two of them glazed doughnuts.
253
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,276
I'll have a chocolate.
254
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,276
[SQUEAKING]
255
00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:03,828
Excuse me, sir. Officer Carey
Mahoney reporting for duty, sir.
256
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:08,294
Oh, Officer Mahoney.
It's nice of you to drop by.
257
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,997
- I missed you earlier.
- Had to get a new uniform.
258
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:16,298
Oh, good. Good. We can't face
the public naked, can we?
259
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,965
That's right. Where would
we hang our handcuffs?
260
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:23,854
That's cute. I like an officer
with a sense of humor.
261
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:28,981
I like you too, sir.
262
00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:31,314
I admire a guy who's
not ashamed to floss.
263
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,650
You know, sir, oral hygiene is something
too many big-city cops overlook.
264
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:36,979
MAUSER:
Hm.
265
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:41,492
Oh, good. Good.
So you like hygiene, huh?
266
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,947
Then you're gonna like
your new partner:
267
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,577
Officer Vinnie Schtulman.
268
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:08,101
Hello? Hello?
269
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:09,517
[WATER RUNNING]
270
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,845
MAHONEY: Hello.
MAN: Who is it?
271
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,690
Carey Mahoney, your new partner.
272
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,855
- Come on in. Come on in.
- Thanks.
273
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:19,404
- Make yourself at home.
- Alrighty. Alrighty.
274
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:25,372
- Don't sit in the broken chair.
- Right. I got it. I saw it. I saw it.
275
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,544
- Would you like breakfast? I got eggs.
- No.
276
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:32,503
I'm fine. I'll get something later.
Tetanus shot, maybe.
277
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,713
- This is an excellent place you got here.
- Thanks. I decorated it myself.
278
00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:41,089
- Hey! Vinnie Schtulman.
- I got peanut butter on my hand.
279
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,878
- I like peanut butter.
- Mahoney. Nice to meet you.
280
00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:47,432
Hey, would it be okay
if I eat real quick?
281
00:21:47,597 --> 00:21:49,387
- Yeah, go ahead.
- Thanks.
282
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:53,438
Next to lunch and dinner, breakfast
is the most important meal of the day.
283
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,559
Oh, jeez. Bunky.
284
00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:02,242
Bunky, how many times I gotta tell you?
The litter box! The litter box!
285
00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:11,083
- You sure you don't want any?
- I'm on a diet.
286
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:15,333
- Want me to lock the door?
- No, neighbors might borrow something.
287
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:19,302
- It's gonna be great having a new partner.
- I was thinking about it...
288
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:20,803
I hope Lou's not jealous.
289
00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:22,764
[DOG BARKING]
290
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:33,809
SERVER:
Hey. Your pastrami's ready.
291
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:36,980
MAN:
Did you put the mayo on that?
292
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:41,149
You've been quiet. I take it you
don't like your assignment.
293
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:45,278
- That's affirmative.
- Is it because I'm a woman?
294
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:49,447
I decline to answer that question
out of respect for your gender.
295
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:54,617
I'll take care of myself.
You just cover your own ass.
296
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,710
TACKLEBERRY:
That's a nice piece.
297
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,627
I was referring to your side arm.
298
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,337
- Oh.
- May I?
299
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,841
KIRKLAND:
Sure.
300
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:10,970
It's a Colt Python.
301
00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:17,143
- What kind of load do you use?
- 158-grain semi-wadcutter manstoppers.
302
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,806
Sensible weapon.
303
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,900
I use a factory-accurized
Detonics.45 Scoremaster.
304
00:23:25,112 --> 00:23:27,992
It's got the extended barrel,
short hammer fall...
305
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:31,406
...and I load with 230-grain
full patch rounds.
306
00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:33,868
It's primarily for stopping power.
307
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:36,537
On the other hand,
if you want penetration...
308
00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:41,337
...the.357 will crack
the engine block of a truck.
309
00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:45,921
I can see where that would be useful.
310
00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:50,006
All right. Touchdown!
All right! Good job!
311
00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:53,718
- Give me another one.
MAN: Look at the little football players.
312
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,268
- Hey! We're playing ball.
- Come on, punk.
313
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,186
- Give it back.
- You want the ball?
314
00:23:59,354 --> 00:24:02,364
- Give me the ball!
- Here. Go get it!
315
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:05,151
Whoo!
316
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:11,027
MAN: You never seen a football?
- Hey! Hey, copper!
317
00:24:11,199 --> 00:24:13,029
Throw me the ball!
318
00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:18,253
Come on, will you throw it back here?
Come on! Give it to me!
319
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:31,433
- This is not such a bad neighborhood.
- This is a great neighborhood.
320
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:33,045
- Yeah?
- I grew up here.
321
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,391
- No way.
- Yeah.
322
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:35,676
- You?
- Little kid here.
323
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:38,099
No way.
Little Schtulman running around here?
324
00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:40,308
- You were little?
- That was me.
325
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:43,902
We should get Lou out of the truck.
He needs exercise.
326
00:24:44,065 --> 00:24:46,895
- We can get him later.
- Carey, look at this.
327
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:50,608
A Nestlé Crunch bar,
hardly even been touched.
328
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:54,073
No wonder. Got ants all over it.
329
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:57,332
- You're not gonna eat that, are you?
- You wanna split it?
330
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:58,826
No!
331
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:13,967
No, no, no. What do you
want from me? Blood? Get out!
332
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:17,010
Be cool, old man.
333
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:23,438
Open the safe. Come on. Hurry up.
Open it.
334
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,318
Come on. Open it up.
335
00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,164
- It always does that.
- Hurry.
336
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:38,367
Yeah.
337
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:41,037
There. I got it.
338
00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:44,672
Fizzies.
339
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:47,460
They don't make them anymore.
Remember?
340
00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:48,999
MAHONEY:
Fizzies?
341
00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,468
Cops!
342
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,795
Stay down, or you're dead.
343
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,641
- Schtulman, you see a gun?
- I saw a gun.
344
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,637
That's an armed robbery.
345
00:26:02,018 --> 00:26:06,308
- Unit M-15 to base.
- This is base.
346
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:12,321
We've got a 211
at 302 Caroline Street. Please advise.
347
00:26:12,487 --> 00:26:17,867
- M-1, did you read that?
- 10-4. Tell them to move in.
348
00:26:18,034 --> 00:26:21,704
HOOKS: Shouldn't they wait for backup?
- No, they don't need a backup.
349
00:26:21,871 --> 00:26:25,671
- Do you need a hearing aid?
- Move in, M-15.
350
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:27,996
10-4.
351
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:29,876
Come on. Let's go.
352
00:26:34,884 --> 00:26:37,604
Follow me and stay low.
353
00:27:05,081 --> 00:27:06,421
Are you in here?
354
00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:14,087
Vinnie, if they are in here,
they're not gonna tell us.
355
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:21,262
Now, cover me.
356
00:27:34,110 --> 00:27:35,860
Ah!
357
00:27:41,076 --> 00:27:43,156
[GUN FIRING]
358
00:27:47,749 --> 00:27:49,999
Whoa!
359
00:27:51,961 --> 00:27:53,501
- Fackler!
FACKLER: Mahoney!
360
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:54,802
Fackler!
361
00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:29,956
Tackleberry! Hold your fire!
362
00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:31,461
[SIREN WAILING]
363
00:28:31,626 --> 00:28:33,036
Mahoney?
364
00:28:39,801 --> 00:28:41,011
SWEETCHUCK:
Ah!
365
00:28:41,177 --> 00:28:43,547
Officer Hightower.
366
00:28:43,805 --> 00:28:50,135
- You met Mr. Sweetchuck, I presume?
- Mr. Sweetchuck, I'm so sorry.
367
00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:52,481
My store! My store!
368
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:56,534
We all got here at the same time.
369
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:58,323
We didn't know that we were...
370
00:28:58,486 --> 00:29:00,026
[SWEETCHUCK SCREAMS]
371
00:29:01,197 --> 00:29:02,657
Gentlemen...
372
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:05,951
...you've really outdone yourselves,
haven't you?
373
00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:09,830
"Said officers did then
discharge their weapons...
374
00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,368
...with flagrant disregard
for public safety...
375
00:29:12,542 --> 00:29:17,842
...causing to be expended
some 1200 rounds of ammunition.
376
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:24,013
Total damage to the shop: $76,813."
377
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:28,679
Well, I know that you must be furious.
378
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:35,360
In all my years as a police officer,
I have never seen such gross negligence.
379
00:29:37,233 --> 00:29:42,073
- You men have anything to say?
- Sir, may I speak?
380
00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:51,866
Captain Lassard, your brother taught
us many fine things at the academy.
381
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:56,540
He taught us that a cop can
never care too much or try too hard.
382
00:29:57,545 --> 00:30:01,715
I don't know, sir.
That's exactly what we did.
383
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:07,050
- Perhaps we were a bit overzealous.
- Overzealous?
384
00:30:07,222 --> 00:30:12,432
That's 1200 rounds. $76,813.
385
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:18,771
If caring is a crime
and trying is a felony...
386
00:30:19,442 --> 00:30:21,612
...I guess we're all gonna plead guilty.
387
00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:28,834
Mauser, Mahoney is right.
388
00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:32,746
If your men tried as hard
as these officers...
389
00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:35,084
...we'd have this gang licked in no time.
390
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:39,667
Good work, men. Keep it up.
391
00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,958
See you at the gym.
392
00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:48,103
[SCREAMS]
393
00:30:56,813 --> 00:31:02,823
Attention! I need beer up here. Now!
394
00:31:04,445 --> 00:31:07,815
Okay, look for specials now!
Come on! Shop, everybody!
395
00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:11,951
MAN: Shop! Shop!
ZED: Safety first!
396
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:21,627
[SCREAMING]
397
00:31:33,641 --> 00:31:36,811
Come on! Yeah! Go for it!
398
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:41,147
[SCREAMS]
399
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:45,356
What are you, a nut?
I'm a vegetarian!
400
00:31:46,362 --> 00:31:50,492
Fruit Loops. They're mine!
401
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:02,877
Guys! Guys! Come on!
Stop, man! Act your age!
402
00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:20,847
Bye, now.
403
00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:28,531
Thank you very much. I found a lot
of really, really nice bargains here.
404
00:32:30,198 --> 00:32:32,698
Excuse me, sir,
you forgot your stamps!
405
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:36,703
MAHONEY: Gentlemen, I'd like
to propose a toast.
406
00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:40,923
To Lieutenant Mauser.
No, no, no...
407
00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:44,384
- Biggest putz of the precinct.
- All right.
408
00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:49,264
[GIGGLING AND CHUCKLING]
409
00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:51,256
Mahoney!
410
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,260
Get me another beer, will you?
411
00:32:55,264 --> 00:32:58,064
HIGHTOWER: Is he in trouble?
JONES: Good question.
412
00:32:58,434 --> 00:33:01,104
- Tack, what's up?
- I need to speak to you, Mahoney.
413
00:33:01,270 --> 00:33:04,400
- Okay. What?
- It's of a personal nature.
414
00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:07,065
Oh, all right. All right. All right.
415
00:33:07,735 --> 00:33:10,105
Let me buy you a drink, all right?
416
00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:17,242
Art, can I have a beer
and milk with ice. Right?
417
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:20,462
- Okay. How about a shot?
- Yeah, that'll be fine.
418
00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:22,422
So, what's up, Tack?
419
00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:26,253
It's Kirkland. My partner.
420
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:30,341
Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're a lucky guy.
She's a fox.
421
00:33:30,508 --> 00:33:33,258
- That's affirmative.
- Oh, yeah.
422
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:35,508
With regards to Kirkland...
423
00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:38,467
Something you need?
424
00:33:40,601 --> 00:33:42,601
With regards to Kirkland...
425
00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:45,020
- What?
- Well, I...
426
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,273
- I think I'm...
- You think what?
427
00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:50,442
- Well, I might...
- Tack, what? Spell it out.
428
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:54,276
Lincoln, Ocean, Victor, Edward.
429
00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:59,663
Love? Eugene, you're in love!
You little devil!
430
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:02,119
You're in love. That's great!
431
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:05,540
- Let's keep this 10-35, okay?
- Oh.
432
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:08,497
Of course, of course.
Between you and me.
433
00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:11,761
You and Kirkland? So she have
the hots for you too?
434
00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:13,474
I don't know.
435
00:34:14,385 --> 00:34:18,135
I'm inexperienced in matters
of a romantic nature.
436
00:34:19,182 --> 00:34:21,642
Tack, you've been with women before.
437
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:24,019
- Well, I...
- You've had one woman before.
438
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:27,477
- Well, not really.
- I've seen you walking with girls.
439
00:34:27,648 --> 00:34:28,858
To be precise...
440
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,685
You're 28 years old.
You're a man of the world...
441
00:34:31,861 --> 00:34:33,531
Mahoney, I'm a virgin!
442
00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:43,003
Go about your business,
or I'll crack some heads!
443
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,420
- Proctor!
- Oh, lieutenant, I was looking for you.
444
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:51,375
I have the pictures of the fruits
drunk at the bar, like you asked.
445
00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:56,337
The composition's a little off, but, sir,
you can clearly see those fruits are drunk.
446
00:34:56,511 --> 00:35:01,181
Who asked for fruits drunk at a bar?
I asked for new recruits drunk at the bar.
447
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:03,179
Recruits?
448
00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:07,524
Lieutenant, I majored in art.
I could put a uniform on this guy.
449
00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:10,728
- It would look like Hightower.
- What are you, losing it?
450
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:12,610
Just get me Mahoney.
451
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:16,029
- Should I save these?
- Get me Mahoney!
452
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:19,407
Look at this, look at this.
I got nothing here, I got nothing.
453
00:35:19,575 --> 00:35:22,195
- Tack, would you mind? I got a life.
- Mahoney!
454
00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:26,250
Lieutenant Mauser wants
to see you. Pronto!
455
00:35:27,250 --> 00:35:30,920
Bom-bom-bom-bom
456
00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:37,258
Any day now, Mahoney,
and your little ass is mine.
457
00:35:37,426 --> 00:35:39,546
MAHONEY:
You wanted to see me, sir?
458
00:35:39,887 --> 00:35:42,057
Didn't your mother teach you
how to knock?
459
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:46,273
It depends. Sir, I hope this isn't
gonna be too personal.
460
00:35:46,435 --> 00:35:48,725
I heard what you said
about my little butt.
461
00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:51,766
I don't know how to break this to you,
but I'm straight.
462
00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:56,358
You know, you're very funny,
you know that, Mahoney?
463
00:35:56,529 --> 00:35:59,409
Every year, we get a rookie
who thinks he's a comedian.
464
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:04,078
Well, Mr. Comedian...
465
00:36:04,453 --> 00:36:06,293
...see if you think this is funny.
466
00:36:07,623 --> 00:36:09,293
It's your new assignment.
467
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:11,590
[CHUCKLING]
468
00:36:14,797 --> 00:36:17,127
[ENGINE BACKFIRING]
469
00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:19,255
[COUGHING]
470
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:22,595
What are we supposed to be doing here?
471
00:36:22,763 --> 00:36:24,683
In case somebody's car stops...
472
00:36:24,891 --> 00:36:27,311
...we save them from
carbon monoxide poisoning.
473
00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:28,936
MAHONEY:
Who's gonna save us?
474
00:36:29,103 --> 00:36:30,443
[LAUGHING]
475
00:36:31,314 --> 00:36:34,154
I guess it can get kind of boring, huh?
476
00:36:35,109 --> 00:36:37,939
Hey, Lou! Lou, wanna play catch? Here!
477
00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:40,282
Go get it. Go get it, Lou.
478
00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:41,488
[BARKING]
479
00:36:41,657 --> 00:36:43,277
[TIRES SCREECHING]
480
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:46,041
[CARS CRASHING]
481
00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:51,826
Lou!
482
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:55,843
Yeah. Good catch, Lou.
483
00:36:56,797 --> 00:36:58,917
[POP MUSIC PLAYS OVER RADIO]
484
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:01,967
Silk stockings
485
00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:09,484
[BELL RINGING]
486
00:37:20,947 --> 00:37:22,157
FACKLER:
Uh...
487
00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:25,329
Excuse me?
488
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:31,076
- Could I use your restroom, please?
- You buying gas?
489
00:37:31,540 --> 00:37:33,000
No.
490
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:35,539
Then pee somewheres else.
491
00:37:35,711 --> 00:37:41,761
- Look, this is a police emergency.
- Okay. Take the key.
492
00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:49,556
Hey, don't run away with that.
493
00:37:50,017 --> 00:37:51,517
LASSARD:
The key to forming...
494
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:55,016
...a successful
citizen's watch group is communication.
495
00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:57,229
I want you to think of this precinct...
496
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,400
...as the hub of a miniature
communications network...
497
00:38:00,569 --> 00:38:06,869
...stretching from each of your homes
to every officer, on duty and very dirty.
498
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:13,536
- Lou, let's get something to eat.
- Anybody got any aspirin?
499
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:15,628
I've got a headache that's not gonna quit.
500
00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:18,923
[MAUSER HUMMING]
501
00:38:19,088 --> 00:38:22,218
Oh, well, look at this, here.
It's the Jones Boys.
502
00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:24,933
Holy mackerel there, Mahoney.
503
00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:27,216
What did you do, suck up a bus?
504
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,558
[LOU GROWLING]
505
00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:33,143
Lou, you don't like me,
and I'm not crazy about you.
506
00:38:34,562 --> 00:38:37,062
Schtulman, you keep him away from me.
507
00:38:37,231 --> 00:38:38,901
I'll be in the shower if you need me.
508
00:38:39,066 --> 00:38:40,726
[MAUSER CHUCKLING]
509
00:38:43,612 --> 00:38:46,282
Hey, Mahoney, do me a favor.
510
00:38:46,907 --> 00:38:49,277
Keep shaking this stuff
so I can fix my helmet.
511
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,542
- What did you do, crack it?
- Yeah, I gotta put that on it.
512
00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:55,245
MAHONEY: Some sort of a glue?
- It's epoxy resin.
513
00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:59,292
- You mean, when it hardens, it...
- It turns into plastic.
514
00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:01,462
- How long does it take?
- A few seconds.
515
00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:03,630
- How long does it last?
- A few years.
516
00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:07,139
[WATER RUNNING]
517
00:39:08,679 --> 00:39:11,099
[SINGING]
And someday
518
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,524
I'm gonna be captain
519
00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:17,978
And every rookie will go down on his knee
520
00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:22,397
And they'll be nothing but slaves just for me
521
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:27,783
Yeah, they will be slaves just for me
522
00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:31,158
Yeah, baby, slaves
Slaves, I said, yeah
523
00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:35,037
And they'll say "Captain Mauser"
524
00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:39,076
Yowza, yowza
Oh, yeah
525
00:39:39,251 --> 00:39:41,841
Oh, yeah
Oh
526
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:46,048
Oh
527
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,467
Hey.
528
00:39:48,135 --> 00:39:49,505
Hey!
529
00:39:51,013 --> 00:39:53,473
Hey! Wait a minute!
530
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:57,144
My hand got stuck to my head!
Hey, who's fooling around?
531
00:39:57,311 --> 00:40:00,111
What the fuck? Okay.
532
00:40:00,272 --> 00:40:03,692
Okay. Let's not fool around, fellas.
533
00:40:03,859 --> 00:40:05,739
It's me, and I'm not kidding around.
534
00:40:05,903 --> 00:40:09,823
I want someone to take this out
of my hair! Is that you, Schtulman?
535
00:40:09,990 --> 00:40:12,200
I'm not kidding around!
Now, give me a hand.
536
00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:18,043
That ain't funny. That's very childish.
All right, cut it out!
537
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:20,537
You're acting like children. Children!
538
00:40:20,709 --> 00:40:24,339
Now, somebody, just pull my hands
out off my head now!
539
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,255
Who's in here?
540
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:30,215
Who's that? Who's that?
I'll remember that voice.
541
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:32,676
If I remember that voice,
you guys are dead.
542
00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:36,767
Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead!
Is somebody here? Okay, who is this?
543
00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:38,024
[JONES IMITATES LOU]
544
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:42,555
MAUSER: All right, Lou. Come on, Lou.
No, Lou, don't bite me there. Lou.
545
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:47,570
Lou. Please, Lou. Lou, please. Lou.
546
00:40:47,736 --> 00:40:50,026
Oh, no. Oh, no, Lou. Lou.
Good dog, Lou.
547
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:54,076
Oh, no! Oh, no, Lou! No, Lou!
548
00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:56,738
[TYPEWRITER KEYS TAPPING]
549
00:40:57,204 --> 00:41:04,094
All right. Open that door now!
Hey, you. I'm not kidding here!
550
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:12,926
Well...
551
00:41:13,095 --> 00:41:14,385
[CHUCKLES]
552
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:19,604
What's the matter, you never saw
a man wash his hair before?
553
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,557
Oh.
554
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:23,059
Captain Lassard.
555
00:41:23,564 --> 00:41:25,694
I'll be in my room if you need me.
556
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:31,776
Proctor!
557
00:41:32,573 --> 00:41:34,993
PROCTOR: Oh, this is gonna be just fine.
MAUSER: Yeah?
558
00:41:35,201 --> 00:41:37,951
Wait, one snip here.
Let me get by the thumb.
559
00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:42,582
- Yeah?
- Oh, that's... That looks very natural.
560
00:41:42,750 --> 00:41:44,500
- Looks okay?
- It's very, very good.
561
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:47,590
I don't think you'll be able
to tell the difference.
562
00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:50,795
I'll bet you anything it was Mahoney
responsible for this.
563
00:41:50,966 --> 00:41:54,086
After I'm through,
just let me shape this a little bit...
564
00:41:54,261 --> 00:41:58,311
...and I think you're gonna really be
happy with what we've got here.
565
00:41:58,474 --> 00:42:00,234
- Yeah? Let me see it.
- Sure.
566
00:42:00,392 --> 00:42:02,102
Okay.
567
00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,150
Huh? Huh?
568
00:42:04,313 --> 00:42:07,363
Just look at it in the back here.
Look at it over here.
569
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:09,855
Could I have the mirror, please?
570
00:42:10,486 --> 00:42:11,856
Sure.
571
00:42:14,823 --> 00:42:16,453
Lieutenant?
572
00:42:18,118 --> 00:42:19,488
Sir?
573
00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:21,832
[WHIMPERING]
574
00:42:23,165 --> 00:42:25,665
No, no, no. We'll get a wig.
575
00:42:25,834 --> 00:42:28,964
Have you seen the state-of-the-art
in wigs today, sir?
576
00:42:29,129 --> 00:42:31,169
What the hell are you talking about?
577
00:42:31,340 --> 00:42:33,340
What am I gonna do about this?
578
00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:51,324
BOY 1: Hey, what you doing?
BOY 2: Leave me alone, lady, please?
579
00:42:58,993 --> 00:43:00,543
Well...
580
00:43:03,372 --> 00:43:06,332
This is just what I've been looking for.
581
00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:11,594
- I'm not afraid of you punks.
MAN: Come on, man. Come on!
582
00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:14,837
- Right here.
- Where are you going?
583
00:43:15,009 --> 00:43:17,839
- I ain't going nowhere.
- Come on, I'll take you all on.
584
00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:21,348
Come on, I want you.
I'm not afraid of a wallet thief.
585
00:43:21,515 --> 00:43:23,515
- Now it's just you and me.
MAN: You and me.
586
00:43:23,684 --> 00:43:25,444
Okay, come on. Come on.
587
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,853
Come on. I'm tired of talking
to you, punk.
588
00:43:28,022 --> 00:43:30,572
I wanna dance.
I wanna get my hands on you.
589
00:43:30,733 --> 00:43:33,743
MAN: Yeah. You ready to talk
to me now? Come on. Show me.
590
00:43:34,236 --> 00:43:35,896
Teach me.
591
00:43:37,364 --> 00:43:39,414
Okay, one at a time.
Put me down!
592
00:43:39,575 --> 00:43:43,365
- Come on, put me down.
MAN: Oh, we'll put you down, all right.
593
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:46,410
At this point in time...
594
00:43:46,582 --> 00:43:50,212
...yours truly was the object
of a malicious prank.
595
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:53,209
Now...
596
00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:57,380
...can anybody in here
tell me how this happened?
597
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,890
I can, sir. And if you don't stop that,
you could go blind.
598
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,720
[CHUCKLING]
599
00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:06,559
You think that's funny,
don't you, Mahoney?
600
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:09,439
Well, you're on report.
Put him on report.
601
00:44:09,938 --> 00:44:15,608
We are not gonna leave this room
until we find out what happened.
602
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:18,148
- What happened?
- What's going on here?
603
00:44:18,364 --> 00:44:20,574
Nothing. I was just reprimanding the men.
604
00:44:20,741 --> 00:44:23,491
LASSARD: To hell with your reprimands.
- You don't understand.
605
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:27,461
- Shut up, I have something to say.
- Would you take a look at my hands?
606
00:44:28,082 --> 00:44:30,252
I think that's a matter
of personal hygiene.
607
00:44:30,417 --> 00:44:32,587
- I am talking about public safety.
- Yes, sir.
608
00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:36,797
Now listen up, everybody.
This is serious.
609
00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,509
We've gotta do something.
610
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:43,758
This is war! Now, we didn't start it...
611
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:46,271
...but we are going to finish it.
612
00:44:46,433 --> 00:44:48,773
I don't care if we work time and a half...
613
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:51,436
...I don't care if we have
to work double time...
614
00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:55,775
...but mark my words, we are gonna
nail these punks, starting now!
615
00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:58,443
- We can get them!
- Yeah!
616
00:44:58,612 --> 00:44:59,992
Let's kick ass!
617
00:45:01,990 --> 00:45:03,830
TACKLEBERRY: Freeze!
KIRKLAND: Freeze!
618
00:45:04,451 --> 00:45:05,831
Cuff them.
619
00:45:07,121 --> 00:45:09,791
I can't. I forgot my cuffs.
They're on the bike.
620
00:45:10,457 --> 00:45:11,997
No problem.
621
00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:25,644
Hey, hey. Excuse me. I hate to interrupt,
but can I go to the wedding?
622
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:29,476
I mean, I've got a gift.
Look. Remote. Huh?
623
00:45:32,521 --> 00:45:34,481
[CLEARS THROAT]
624
00:45:37,025 --> 00:45:38,855
Excuse me.
625
00:45:40,028 --> 00:45:44,528
- I don't think you should be doing that.
- What you gonna do about it?
626
00:45:44,825 --> 00:45:48,825
- I have to arrest you or something.
- You don't wanna use that.
627
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:50,826
Look, I'm serious. That's my...
628
00:45:50,998 --> 00:45:53,328
Oh, I'm sorry.
629
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:54,831
Oh, I didn't know...
630
00:45:55,002 --> 00:45:56,292
[MAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
631
00:46:10,517 --> 00:46:12,387
MAN:
Zed don't like when you miss payments.
632
00:46:12,561 --> 00:46:13,691
You're late.
633
00:46:15,397 --> 00:46:17,017
JONES:
Hey!
634
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,355
That's my greengrocer.
635
00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,193
Walk your beat, cop.
636
00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:56,771
- He thinks he's Bruce Lee.
- You wanna bet?
637
00:46:58,732 --> 00:47:00,112
Damn you.
638
00:47:00,275 --> 00:47:02,025
Wanna fight, huh?
639
00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:04,568
Fight me!
640
00:47:14,915 --> 00:47:16,165
[LAUGHING]
641
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:17,583
GREENGROCER:
He's very good.
642
00:47:22,589 --> 00:47:24,259
I like this.
643
00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,304
[SCREAMS]
644
00:47:44,069 --> 00:47:46,319
GREENGROCER:
Oh! Not on broccoli!
645
00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:06,667
Oh! Not on cauliflower!
646
00:48:10,804 --> 00:48:13,474
MAN 1: Hey, hey.
MAN 2: Sweetchuck!
647
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:16,635
Where you going, man?
648
00:48:16,810 --> 00:48:18,690
Come on, mother.
649
00:48:20,314 --> 00:48:22,194
Come on! Come on back here, man!
650
00:48:22,482 --> 00:48:24,902
[TANGO MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
651
00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:36,699
MAN 1: Come, he ran in here!
MAN 2: We got him surrounded!
652
00:48:40,208 --> 00:48:41,878
Hey.
653
00:48:42,836 --> 00:48:45,836
[SHOUTING]
654
00:48:46,673 --> 00:48:48,843
Right. Okay, okay.
We'll be right there.
655
00:48:49,009 --> 00:48:53,099
There's a huge fight at the Blue Oyster
Bar. Should we send the SWAT team?
656
00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:54,563
- No.
- No?
657
00:48:54,723 --> 00:48:56,273
You send Mahoney in.
658
00:48:56,767 --> 00:49:00,347
M-15, a 415 in progress
at the Blue Oyster Bar.
659
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,190
SCHTULMAN: Blue Oyster?
- I'll get the address. Hold on.
660
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:07,067
- The Blue Oyster Bar is...
- 621 Cowan Avenue.
661
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,932
I'm going in.
662
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,313
Coming out!
663
00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:47,189
Hey, Hightower.
664
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:52,953
Uh... Looks pretty bad in there.
665
00:49:53,281 --> 00:49:54,571
I'm going in.
666
00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:57,331
Oh, no, no, no.
Hightower, don't go in there.
667
00:49:57,494 --> 00:50:00,584
He's gonna get himself killed. Hightower!
668
00:50:07,921 --> 00:50:10,461
Put these in the truck.
I'll be right back.
669
00:50:11,466 --> 00:50:12,796
He'll be right back.
670
00:50:15,971 --> 00:50:20,311
You have the right to remain silent.
The right to a court-appointed attorney.
671
00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:24,095
You have the right to sing the blues.
You have the right to cable TV.
672
00:50:24,271 --> 00:50:25,811
You have the right to sublet.
673
00:50:25,981 --> 00:50:28,771
You have the right to paint the walls.
No loud colors.
674
00:50:28,942 --> 00:50:31,282
Hightower. Thanks a lot, man.
675
00:50:31,820 --> 00:50:33,110
Anytime.
676
00:50:39,244 --> 00:50:41,294
Y'all be good, now.
677
00:50:53,008 --> 00:50:54,128
MAHONEY: Excuse me.
- Yeah.
678
00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:55,551
Could I have your signature?
679
00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,641
- Sure. What do you got?
- Authorization for a body cavity search.
680
00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:04,135
Listen, each and every one of you men,
and you too, of course...
681
00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:06,151
...deserve real congratulations.
682
00:51:06,313 --> 00:51:08,813
That's a damn fine piece
of police work. Really.
683
00:51:08,982 --> 00:51:10,022
[PHONE RINGING]
684
00:51:10,192 --> 00:51:12,032
I think you'll feel the difference today.
685
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:14,654
The whole neighborhood
is excited about this.
686
00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:16,361
Really. Proctor!
687
00:51:16,531 --> 00:51:18,531
- When this watch is over...
PROCTOR: Yeah.
688
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:21,200
...we'll go to the Club & Cuff.
Drinks on me.
689
00:51:21,369 --> 00:51:23,699
Captain, Chief Hurst is on the phone.
690
00:51:24,206 --> 00:51:28,536
MAHONEY: We'll leave you alone, sir.
- No, no, no. This is for you too, huh?
691
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,381
Lassard.
692
00:51:32,881 --> 00:51:34,551
Yes, sir.
693
00:51:35,008 --> 00:51:38,178
Forty-two arrests, sir. Yes.
694
00:51:39,012 --> 00:51:43,352
Well, I told you these young recruits
could take care of the job, sir.
695
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,890
Mm-hm. Here comes Mauser with more
good news. Can you hold on?
696
00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:50,444
I'm afraid we had to drop
most of the charges.
697
00:51:50,607 --> 00:51:53,397
It appears we had to drop
most of the charges?
698
00:51:53,568 --> 00:51:55,188
MAUSER:
Improper arrest procedures.
699
00:51:55,362 --> 00:51:58,862
- Unnecessary use of force, sir.
- "Unnecessary use of force"?
700
00:51:59,032 --> 00:52:01,082
We had to release the prisoners.
701
00:52:01,243 --> 00:52:04,123
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Will there be anything else?
702
00:52:04,329 --> 00:52:07,749
I'm really sorry.
No, I just wanna be alone.
703
00:52:10,418 --> 00:52:12,748
Unnecessary use of force?!
704
00:52:12,921 --> 00:52:16,421
What are they talking about?
How are they supposed to do the job?
705
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:21,852
Mahoney.
706
00:52:22,389 --> 00:52:23,759
Mauser...
707
00:52:23,932 --> 00:52:25,892
...I know what you're doing.
708
00:52:26,893 --> 00:52:28,733
Then you better be nice to me, huh?
709
00:52:28,895 --> 00:52:31,555
Because I'm gonna be in charge
here soon.
710
00:52:31,731 --> 00:52:34,111
Huh? Huh? Huh.
711
00:52:46,788 --> 00:52:48,998
MAHONEY:
Yeah, I'll get to that later.
712
00:52:53,253 --> 00:52:54,923
I'm all right.
713
00:52:56,131 --> 00:52:57,761
I'm trying.
714
00:53:04,014 --> 00:53:05,314
Tack!
715
00:53:05,473 --> 00:53:08,433
Tack, why all dressed up?
You look great.
716
00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:10,772
- I got a date with Kirkland.
- You little...
717
00:53:10,937 --> 00:53:14,017
Your first date, huh?
Good going, good going.
718
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:17,781
- What you got there, cologne?
- No. It's gun oil.
719
00:53:24,784 --> 00:53:28,004
- Where's Mahoney?
- Here.
720
00:53:28,622 --> 00:53:30,962
Hey, Mahoney?
Somebody here to see you.
721
00:53:31,124 --> 00:53:32,334
- You Mahoney?
- Yeah.
722
00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,290
- I'm here for the BCS.
- BCS?
723
00:53:34,836 --> 00:53:37,496
- Body cavity search.
- Oh, right, right, right.
724
00:53:37,672 --> 00:53:39,512
Where is he?
725
00:53:44,804 --> 00:53:46,644
Everybody out.
726
00:53:46,806 --> 00:53:48,426
MAN:
Let's get out of here.
727
00:53:51,019 --> 00:53:54,359
Hey! What are you doing?
Wait a minute!
728
00:53:55,232 --> 00:53:58,032
- Shut him up.
- What are you doing?
729
00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:01,700
Now, just relax, and we'll get along fine.
730
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:05,240
We'll talk later.
731
00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:27,049
Hello, Tackleberry.
732
00:54:27,722 --> 00:54:29,352
Kirkland.
733
00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:34,019
You look very nice.
734
00:54:35,563 --> 00:54:38,363
Permit me to respond in kind.
735
00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,402
I've never seen you
in civilian attire before.
736
00:54:41,569 --> 00:54:43,359
- Disappointed?
- Oh, negative.
737
00:54:44,739 --> 00:54:47,409
- And you?
- Oh, no.
738
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:58,380
Well, almost 1900 hours.
Guess we better go.
739
00:54:58,545 --> 00:55:00,045
Right.
740
00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:03,919
Here.
741
00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:05,928
What's this?
742
00:55:06,594 --> 00:55:10,064
TACKLEBERRY: They're ear cuffs.
I had them made just for you.
743
00:55:12,934 --> 00:55:14,274
Gift.
744
00:55:16,021 --> 00:55:18,441
[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
745
00:55:53,266 --> 00:55:55,306
KIRKLAND:
Good night, Tackleberry.
746
00:55:56,561 --> 00:55:58,441
Good night, Kirkland.
747
00:56:01,816 --> 00:56:03,936
- Tackleberry?
- Yes?
748
00:56:05,278 --> 00:56:06,608
I love you.
749
00:56:07,947 --> 00:56:09,777
Ditto.
750
00:56:16,790 --> 00:56:19,630
- Oh, Eugene.
- Oh, Kathleen.
751
00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:39,693
Eugene.
752
00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,774
KIRKLAND:
Oh, Eugene!
753
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:28,693
[SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
754
00:57:28,903 --> 00:57:30,453
Good evening.
755
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:37,371
Oh, excuse, please.
756
00:57:47,422 --> 00:57:49,922
Happy birthday, Pete.
757
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:52,925
It's not my birthday, Eric.
758
00:57:54,596 --> 00:57:57,216
[CHEF SHOUTING]
759
00:57:57,390 --> 00:57:59,560
Is all that crap necessary?
760
00:58:03,730 --> 00:58:06,230
- You seem a little edgy, Pete.
- No, I'm fine.
761
00:58:06,399 --> 00:58:09,899
CHEF: You want chopstick or fork?
- How are things at work?
762
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:11,990
Awful.
763
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:15,275
If I don't do something quick,
I'm out of a job.
764
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:17,450
They're saying I'm too old.
765
00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:19,909
They're saying I'm losing it.
766
00:58:20,079 --> 00:58:23,619
They're saying that I'm paranoid.
767
00:58:24,417 --> 00:58:26,247
They're all out to get me, Eric.
768
00:58:26,419 --> 00:58:28,459
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
769
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:30,835
- Try to relax.
- Ah!
770
00:58:32,008 --> 00:58:34,588
I'm sorry. It's just the strain, that's all.
771
00:58:35,470 --> 00:58:37,970
You stupid bastard!
772
00:58:38,139 --> 00:58:39,719
Excuse me.
773
00:58:41,309 --> 00:58:43,439
Why are you doing this to me?
774
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:45,307
- Who?
- You!
775
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:48,475
And those rookies you sent me.
776
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:51,530
All they can do is screw up.
777
00:58:51,736 --> 00:58:57,156
The neighborhood is turning against us.
They're coming at me from all directions.
778
00:58:57,325 --> 00:58:58,655
That would be normal.
779
00:59:00,370 --> 00:59:01,950
Why don't you do something?
780
00:59:02,121 --> 00:59:05,001
- Like what?
- Well...
781
00:59:05,667 --> 00:59:08,167
...something to reassure
the neighborhood.
782
00:59:09,003 --> 00:59:12,803
A special show of police involvement
for the neighborhood.
783
00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:19,301
A street fair.
784
00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:24,308
Eric, that's a brilliant idea.
785
00:59:25,186 --> 00:59:27,306
What's a big brother for?
786
00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:37,157
- This fish is boiling.
- Oh, you want stir-fry?
787
00:59:40,535 --> 00:59:42,785
[CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
788
00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:53,591
Step right up! It's so simple
even a quarterback can do it.
789
00:59:53,798 --> 00:59:55,508
- You look like a quarterback.
- Me?
790
00:59:55,675 --> 00:59:57,085
HIGHTOWER: Yeah.
- Hold this?
791
00:59:57,302 --> 00:59:59,222
HIGHTOWER:
I'll hold your cotton candy.
792
00:59:59,387 --> 01:00:01,427
I know you can do it. Come on.
793
01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:03,848
Get it up on your shoulder.
794
01:00:14,944 --> 01:00:17,364
[JONES IMITATES MACHINE]
795
01:00:20,533 --> 01:00:22,913
Thank you, Mrs. Mayor.
796
01:00:23,077 --> 01:00:27,077
Now, this broom is just a symbol
of the new spirit...
797
01:00:27,248 --> 01:00:31,208
...that's sweeping across
our neighborhood.
798
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:40,429
And so, Mrs. Mayor,
perhaps you'll join with me...
799
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:44,715
...in sweeping the crime
off our streets for good.
800
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:57,938
- What's going on here?
- Cops are having a fair.
801
01:00:58,946 --> 01:01:01,236
- What for?
- They're trying to raise money...
802
01:01:01,407 --> 01:01:04,077
...to clean up the neighborhood.
803
01:01:04,786 --> 01:01:07,446
That's awful nice of them.
804
01:01:07,622 --> 01:01:10,422
Are they gonna have games
and prizes and rides?
805
01:01:10,583 --> 01:01:13,093
Yeah!
806
01:01:13,252 --> 01:01:17,592
- Are they gonna have a Ferris wheel?
- They got a big one.
807
01:01:17,757 --> 01:01:21,637
Ah! I hate Ferris wheels!
808
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:26,676
- I got a bad stomach. Make me sick.
ALL: Aw...
809
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,142
- You don't have to ride on it.
ALL: No!
810
01:01:30,311 --> 01:01:36,441
- Well, I'll go on it if you go on with me.
- Okay.
811
01:01:36,609 --> 01:01:41,409
- Let's go have some fun.
ALL: Yeah!
812
01:01:57,630 --> 01:01:59,630
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
813
01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:03,971
It's mayhem.
814
01:02:17,817 --> 01:02:20,647
- Hi, are you the mayor?
- Yes. Yes, I am.
815
01:02:20,820 --> 01:02:23,700
- I voted for you.
- Oh, that was very nice of you.
816
01:02:23,948 --> 01:02:28,538
- I know when I'm whipped.
- Sir, that's not like you.
817
01:02:28,703 --> 01:02:32,003
- Who's taking over? Don't tell me.
PROCTOR: Mahoney.
818
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:35,875
Captain Mauser wants to see you
in the squad room. Now.
819
01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:44,835
From this moment on, I am the de facto
commander of this precinct.
820
01:02:47,346 --> 01:02:53,186
My name is Captain Mauser. Captain.
821
01:02:55,271 --> 01:02:57,191
On Thursday last...
822
01:02:57,356 --> 01:03:03,236
...yours truly was the object
of a disgusting personal attack.
823
01:03:04,530 --> 01:03:10,410
And I would like to have some names.
824
01:03:10,578 --> 01:03:12,538
Just some names.
825
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,594
Okay.
826
01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:25,884
Have it your way. But I will suspend
every single one of you!
827
01:03:28,888 --> 01:03:30,758
Sir.
828
01:03:32,308 --> 01:03:33,598
I did it.
829
01:03:39,023 --> 01:03:41,073
Mahoney.
830
01:03:41,901 --> 01:03:43,611
Mahoney?
831
01:03:43,778 --> 01:03:48,778
- What kind of clown do you think I am?
- A juggling clown?
832
01:03:49,242 --> 01:03:52,242
- You're suspended. Indefinitely! Sit down!
- You can't do that.
833
01:03:52,411 --> 01:03:54,331
- What?
- You suspend him, you suspend me.
834
01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:58,919
My pleasure. Sit down, smelly.
835
01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,457
We don't know where they come from,
where they hide out.
836
01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:05,760
We don't even know who their leader is.
837
01:04:06,259 --> 01:04:10,599
- God, would I like to nail that bunch.
- I would love to get my job back.
838
01:04:11,264 --> 01:04:15,274
I say we do what Baretta would do.
839
01:04:15,434 --> 01:04:16,814
Baretta?
840
01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:20,520
- What?
- Go undercover.
841
01:04:20,690 --> 01:04:23,440
Infiltrate the gang. Get their confidence.
842
01:04:23,609 --> 01:04:27,859
- Schtulman.
- You think you could do that?
843
01:04:30,449 --> 01:04:32,199
No.
844
01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:35,947
But he could.
845
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:40,995
- He's right.
- No.
846
01:04:41,168 --> 01:04:43,548
You're young enough.
847
01:04:43,713 --> 01:04:46,463
Hell, you even look like
one of the little creeps.
848
01:04:46,632 --> 01:04:50,142
- He's talking about a television show.
- Mahoney, here's the deal.
849
01:04:50,303 --> 01:04:53,853
Now, I can't pay you a salary,
can't even give you expenses.
850
01:04:54,473 --> 01:04:58,983
If you get yourself in a jam,
I might not be able to bail you out.
851
01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:01,515
- Could be dangerous.
- You could get killed.
852
01:05:02,648 --> 01:05:03,978
LASSARD:
He's right.
853
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:10,028
Sounds awfully tempting.
854
01:05:10,406 --> 01:05:12,906
[MEOWING]
855
01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:19,660
[CAN CLANGING]
856
01:05:21,375 --> 01:05:23,995
[MUMBLING]
857
01:05:35,139 --> 01:05:37,349
[SCREAMING]
858
01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:58,414
Get out of there!
He'll call you back!
859
01:06:01,749 --> 01:06:04,789
I said, he'll call you back!
860
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:08,552
- Hey, man! Hey, man, what you doing?
- Ah!
861
01:06:10,216 --> 01:06:12,296
- Nothing.
FLACKO: Why'd you mess up the phone?
862
01:06:12,468 --> 01:06:15,258
I felt like it. Don't sit so close!
863
01:06:15,429 --> 01:06:18,769
- I'm Flacko. This is my man Mojo.
MOJO: What do they call you, man?
864
01:06:18,933 --> 01:06:22,643
- Jughead! Jughead!
- Me and Mojo, we're with the Scullions.
865
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:25,402
- Who do you run with?
- The Archies. The Archies.
866
01:06:25,564 --> 01:06:29,484
- I ain't never heard of no Archies.
- Used to be the Fudpuckers.
867
01:06:29,694 --> 01:06:33,454
- Yeah, I think I know some Fudpuckers.
- Don't press your luck!
868
01:06:33,614 --> 01:06:36,074
- Hey, you should be with us.
- Oh, yeah? Why?
869
01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:38,742
- Because we the baddest.
- You the baddest.
870
01:06:38,911 --> 01:06:42,251
- How do I get to be a Scallion?
- Scullion, not Scallion.
871
01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:45,785
What's the difference?
You're lucky you're sitting with me.
872
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:47,000
We get you in.
873
01:06:47,211 --> 01:06:48,251
[SIREN WAILING]
874
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:51,421
Here comes the Man. Watch your feet,
he's gonna run them over.
875
01:06:55,428 --> 01:06:56,468
[CHUCKLING]
876
01:06:56,637 --> 01:06:59,007
Well, my, my.
877
01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:01,096
Hello. What are you boys up to, huh?
878
01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:03,307
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
879
01:07:03,477 --> 01:07:05,767
Know anything about
destruction of property?
880
01:07:05,938 --> 01:07:09,438
MOJO: Man, we ain't done nothing.
- Oh, you ain't? Oh, my, look at that.
881
01:07:09,608 --> 01:07:11,528
Put them against the wall.
You too, chico.
882
01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:14,276
Come on, get over there!
Spread your legs!
883
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:16,277
Come on!
884
01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:19,779
What do you think you're doing?
Come on! Spread them!
885
01:07:21,370 --> 01:07:24,330
Don't move! Don't move! Shut up!
Get out of the car.
886
01:07:25,958 --> 01:07:30,128
Come over here. Toss out your gun.
Now we're gonna have a little fun.
887
01:07:30,296 --> 01:07:34,336
Know what I mean? A little fun.
Now you spread them. You spread them.
888
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:39,011
- Now kick him. Yeah, kick him.
- Ow!
889
01:07:39,180 --> 01:07:41,970
You like that? Kick him again. And harder.
890
01:07:43,684 --> 01:07:47,694
- You're crazy.
- You like that? Hold it. Hey, Jones.
891
01:07:47,855 --> 01:07:52,025
That's it, that's it, that's it. All right.
Now get away from the car.
892
01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:53,823
Get away from the car.
893
01:07:53,986 --> 01:07:58,816
Who's this guy? This guy giving us lip?
Maybe we should give him a little lip.
894
01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:02,204
You like that? How about some more?
895
01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:06,373
Hey, get out of here. Get out of here.
896
01:08:06,540 --> 01:08:07,710
[SIREN WAILING]
897
01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:10,585
Hope you're all right, sir.
What do you think?
898
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:13,205
Beautiful, baby.
899
01:08:15,007 --> 01:08:19,717
MAN: There's the little girl. Come, June.
KIRKLAND: This is my big brother, Bud.
900
01:08:19,887 --> 01:08:22,177
- Hi, Mom.
TACKLEBERRY: Hi, Bud.
901
01:08:22,348 --> 01:08:23,888
FATHER: Hi, little girl.
- Daddy!
902
01:08:24,058 --> 01:08:28,438
FATHER: So you're gonna leave Daddy?
KIRKLAND: This is Eugene.
903
01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:30,524
Hi, Tackleberry.
[CRACKING]
904
01:08:30,689 --> 01:08:33,939
- Good grip.
- I better check the roast.
905
01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:37,070
FATHER:
Yeah, check the roast, sweetheart!
906
01:08:38,030 --> 01:08:40,620
Hey, come on. Sit down.
907
01:08:41,742 --> 01:08:43,622
Uh-huh.
908
01:08:43,828 --> 01:08:47,708
My little girl here tells me
that you're into self-defense.
909
01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:50,793
- That's quite correct, sir.
- Yeah, well...
910
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:54,750
...I was in the South Pacific back in '44,
in the Seabees.
911
01:08:55,339 --> 01:08:59,089
Daddy was middleweight champion
in the Seabees.
912
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:03,045
I used to be pretty good at boxing,
but my boy is pretty good too.
913
01:09:03,222 --> 01:09:05,392
He was on the high school
championship team.
914
01:09:05,558 --> 01:09:06,558
- Huh?
- Yeah.
915
01:09:06,725 --> 01:09:09,885
- But I can still take him, right?
- I don't know, Dad. Take it easy.
916
01:09:10,062 --> 01:09:11,902
- Come on!
- I don't think so, Dad.
917
01:09:12,064 --> 01:09:14,614
Come on. Come on.
918
01:09:14,775 --> 01:09:15,815
[LAUGHING]
919
01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:18,945
BUD: Oh, you all right, Dad?
- Hey, pretty good, huh?
920
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:24,914
- I'm sorry, kid, huh? It's all right, huh?
- It's all right.
921
01:09:25,619 --> 01:09:26,909
Good!
922
01:09:34,795 --> 01:09:36,165
Oh! Oh. Oh.
923
01:09:38,424 --> 01:09:42,474
- Are you all right?
- Good, huh? That was...
924
01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:50,944
You boys stop that foolishness
and come to the table. Dinner's ready!
925
01:09:51,103 --> 01:09:55,523
When these two start at it,
they're just a couple of kids.
926
01:09:55,691 --> 01:09:59,531
What do you say?
Go have some chow, huh?
927
01:09:59,695 --> 01:10:00,815
Aren't they sweet?
928
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:04,320
Captain, if you could tape this on him
as high as you can.
929
01:10:04,491 --> 01:10:07,121
- Where did you get this thing?
- I built it.
930
01:10:07,286 --> 01:10:11,536
- Why does it say "Mr. Microphone"?
- It's okay. I made a few modifications.
931
01:10:11,707 --> 01:10:15,627
All right, okay. Sir!
Sir, it's a little tight.
932
01:10:15,794 --> 01:10:19,464
- Ah!
- Sorry. Okay, hold on.
933
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:25,972
Look. Tonight, they're taking me to meet
the leader of the gang, the head guy.
934
01:10:26,513 --> 01:10:30,353
That's good. As long as this is on,
we'll hear every word, right?
935
01:10:30,517 --> 01:10:32,847
- Right.
- Do me a favor, and yourself.
936
01:10:33,020 --> 01:10:36,730
Just try to drop a hint now and then
as to where you are...
937
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:39,821
...so we can sort of keep track
of you, okay?
938
01:10:39,985 --> 01:10:41,565
- Sir?
- Yeah.
939
01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:45,817
- You sure this is gonna work?
- Will you stop worrying?
940
01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:49,657
MAN OVER RADIO:
Mumphrey swings. And it's a home run!
941
01:10:52,581 --> 01:10:55,501
Does that every once in a while.
Just give it a tap.
942
01:10:55,668 --> 01:10:57,088
[HONKING]
943
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,710
MAHONEY: Hey!
FLACKO: All right.
944
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:01,840
All right. Hey, it's your shot.
945
01:11:02,174 --> 01:11:03,174
[GLASS BREAKING]
946
01:11:03,342 --> 01:11:05,302
Sorry. Hey, hey, great car.
947
01:11:05,469 --> 01:11:07,179
- Where'd you buy it?
- Get in.
948
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:08,676
- All right.
- In the back.
949
01:11:08,847 --> 01:11:11,767
MAHONEY: In the back.
- Come on, let's go.
950
01:11:19,066 --> 01:11:23,066
- Hey, man, it's hot. Take off your coat.
- No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm fine.
951
01:11:23,237 --> 01:11:27,237
- I like hot.
- Damn. Damn!
952
01:11:27,408 --> 01:11:28,448
Where we going?
953
01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:30,737
FLACKO:
That's for me to know, you to find out.
954
01:11:30,911 --> 01:11:33,411
MAHONEY:
Right, right. I just like to drive. Right.
955
01:11:33,580 --> 01:11:35,620
FLACKO: Wait until you meet Zed.
MAHONEY: Zed?
956
01:11:35,791 --> 01:11:37,631
FLACKO: He's the man.
MOJO: He's bad.
957
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:39,253
FLACKO:
Hey, he's the best.
958
01:11:40,879 --> 01:11:43,549
- Mahoney, talk to me.
- Sir, he can't hear you.
959
01:11:43,716 --> 01:11:45,926
I know that, Schtulman.
960
01:11:46,260 --> 01:11:48,470
MAHONEY:
Hey, are we going south?
961
01:11:48,637 --> 01:11:51,597
Because I got a lot of enemies
down South.
962
01:11:54,393 --> 01:11:56,563
Yeah, man. Yeah, man.
963
01:11:56,729 --> 01:12:00,059
I like it, man. I like it.
I don't know where I am. I like it.
964
01:12:00,816 --> 01:12:17,496
[HONKING]
965
01:12:17,666 --> 01:12:20,916
Yo, we got a friend. A friend.
966
01:12:21,962 --> 01:12:24,422
MAHONEY:
All right, all right.
967
01:12:25,632 --> 01:12:29,262
I like it. I like it. You know what I mean?
I like it. All right.
968
01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:32,638
- What is this place?
FLACKO: It's where they kept the bears.
969
01:12:32,806 --> 01:12:35,806
Oh, yeah? Well, where are the bears?
970
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:40,690
Yeah, right. Bears. Maybe I should
go home, get something to eat.
971
01:12:40,856 --> 01:12:44,146
Oh, hi, fella. Hi, nice to see you.
Nice shades. Nice shades.
972
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:45,988
Oh, nice bridge. Little shaky.
973
01:12:53,952 --> 01:12:56,502
Hey, I like this place. I really like it.
974
01:12:57,289 --> 01:13:01,129
MOJO: He's home.
- Yeah, home. I like it, I like it.
975
01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:05,295
Lot of big steps, lot of graffiti on
the wall. A cavelike atmosphere.
976
01:13:05,464 --> 01:13:08,304
Just like The Flintstones.
Where's Fred and Wilma?
977
01:13:08,467 --> 01:13:10,467
MOJO: He's cool.
- Where you been all my life?
978
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:14,806
Don't get fresh. Maybe later.
979
01:13:14,973 --> 01:13:16,523
MAHONEY:
I'm in trouble.
980
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:20,693
What a place! Looks like a flea market.
I went shopping yesterday.
981
01:13:20,854 --> 01:13:23,694
We got the same barber.
You get a headache from that?
982
01:13:26,318 --> 01:13:29,898
You'll be awfully lonely sleeping without
Mrs. Beasley.
983
01:13:30,114 --> 01:13:32,074
- I know.
FLACKO: Zed?
984
01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:35,161
- I'm watching Family Affair.
FLACKO: Zed.
985
01:13:35,327 --> 01:13:39,537
It's a rerun. What do you want?
986
01:13:39,706 --> 01:13:45,746
- I think he'd be a good Scullion.
- You don't think, Flacko. You ask!
987
01:13:45,921 --> 01:13:49,671
- You got a name? What do they call you?
- Jughead.
988
01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:54,507
Jughead. My mother's name
was Jughead.
989
01:13:54,888 --> 01:13:59,678
- Well, I've been thinking of changing it.
- Why? It's a good American name.
990
01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:01,852
As such!
991
01:14:02,229 --> 01:14:06,069
Right, right, right. Yeah, nice place.
Great place.
992
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:07,692
Thank you very much.
993
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:11,240
I had a woman who used to come
in here about once a week...
994
01:14:11,405 --> 01:14:14,025
...but I had to fire her. It didn't pan out.
995
01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:16,579
- Oh, really? I might know someone.
- Shut up!
996
01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:20,753
- I don't know anyone. Not a person.
- What are you so nervous about?
997
01:14:20,914 --> 01:14:24,584
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
The place weirds me out.
998
01:14:24,751 --> 01:14:26,291
It smells like animals.
999
01:14:26,462 --> 01:14:28,752
- They took him to my place?
- Shh!
1000
01:14:28,922 --> 01:14:30,302
- Where are we?
- The old zoo.
1001
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:32,046
The old zoo!
1002
01:14:33,594 --> 01:14:38,564
The old zoo. The old...
Not the new zoo, but the old zoo.
1003
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:41,064
You have a cigarette? Some smokes?
1004
01:14:41,226 --> 01:14:42,976
- The old zoo.
- The old zoo?
1005
01:14:43,187 --> 01:14:47,227
- I never even saw the new zoo.
- Well, now's your chance, Schtulman.
1006
01:14:47,399 --> 01:14:52,239
Lou may love it. It'll be like a new home.
Turn the wheel!
1007
01:14:55,616 --> 01:14:58,616
What about a light?
What about some little fire?
1008
01:15:01,121 --> 01:15:03,581
You shouldn't smoke.
It's bad for your health.
1009
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:07,630
- Think I'll quit.
MAN OVER RADIO: At Raceway Park.
1010
01:15:07,794 --> 01:15:12,134
- Dragsters...
ZED: You're wired!
1011
01:15:12,341 --> 01:15:16,511
- You're a cop.
- No, no, no. I'm a singer.
1012
01:15:18,805 --> 01:15:21,015
You're a cop.
1013
01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,599
And you're an ugly cop.
1014
01:15:25,437 --> 01:15:29,437
Attention all units. Attention all units.
We've got a 997 at the old zoo.
1015
01:15:29,608 --> 01:15:32,938
- 997?
LASSARD: We got a 997 at the old zoo.
1016
01:15:33,111 --> 01:15:36,111
A 997 at the old zoo.
Mahoney needs help.
1017
01:15:36,615 --> 01:15:41,325
Step on it, please. Not you, Lou!
1018
01:15:41,495 --> 01:15:44,615
All units. We have a 997
at the old abandoned zoo!
1019
01:15:44,790 --> 01:15:47,630
- What are you doing?
- I was calling for assistance.
1020
01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:51,003
- Mahoney's in trouble.
- Mahoney is suspended.
1021
01:15:51,171 --> 01:15:54,011
You will do nothing of the kind.
1022
01:15:55,342 --> 01:15:57,302
HOOKS:
Hurry! Hurry! Mahoney's in trouble!
1023
01:15:57,469 --> 01:16:00,509
- Mahoney!
- Let's go!
1024
01:16:04,184 --> 01:16:06,394
- What's up?
- Mahoney's in trouble.
1025
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:08,522
- Let me drive.
- Will you get in!
1026
01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:11,859
Hey! Wait a minute!
1027
01:16:12,401 --> 01:16:14,531
Wait a minute!
1028
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:19,025
- Don't make me flare my nostrils!
- Excuse me, Zed. Look, relax.
1029
01:16:19,199 --> 01:16:21,869
You gotta calm down.
You gotta breathe with me.
1030
01:16:22,035 --> 01:16:25,245
- One, two, three.
- I'm getting too much caffeine.
1031
01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:29,384
- Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go now.
- I ought to kill you!
1032
01:16:29,668 --> 01:16:31,088
- Hightower.
HIGHTOWER: Yes, sir?
1033
01:16:31,295 --> 01:16:33,875
I want you and Jones
to cross that bridge.
1034
01:16:34,047 --> 01:16:37,547
Wait outside this entrance until
you hear my signal. Get going.
1035
01:16:37,718 --> 01:16:39,718
MAUSER:
No going.
1036
01:16:39,886 --> 01:16:43,386
Well, well, well.
1037
01:16:43,890 --> 01:16:47,390
If it isn't the former captain...
1038
01:16:48,353 --> 01:16:50,943
...Pete Lassard.
1039
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:57,861
- What the hell do you think you're doing?
- I'm making a plan of attack.
1040
01:16:58,030 --> 01:17:02,280
Now, there's an air vent on top of
that cave. I'll be going in through there.
1041
01:17:02,451 --> 01:17:05,871
- Schtulman...
- Like hell you are. I'm in charge here.
1042
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:07,868
- Fackler.
- Yes, sir.
1043
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,880
- You'll come with me.
- Where?
1044
01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:13,213
To the air vent.
1045
01:17:14,921 --> 01:17:16,421
Captain Mauser.
1046
01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:27,562
- We're gonna do this my way.
- I'm not gonna move my elbow.
1047
01:17:27,726 --> 01:17:32,266
- I don't need that. I need that.
- Get out of here!
1048
01:17:32,439 --> 01:17:34,899
Wanna trade?
1049
01:17:35,651 --> 01:17:37,441
FACKLER:
Okay, up you go, sir.
1050
01:17:39,738 --> 01:17:43,658
- Get your hand out of my ass!
- Sorry, sorry.
1051
01:17:45,952 --> 01:17:50,292
- Oh! Mauser! Mauser!
- Captain Mauser. Come on.
1052
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:51,957
FACKLER:
Sorry.
1053
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:04,100
JONES: What is this place?
HIGHTOWER: Bear cave.
1054
01:18:04,262 --> 01:18:05,302
[GRUNTING]
1055
01:18:05,472 --> 01:18:08,142
HIGHTOWER: Come on.
- Oh, drawbridge.
1056
01:18:14,022 --> 01:18:15,112
[RATS SQUEALING]
1057
01:18:15,273 --> 01:18:16,863
- What's that?
- Rats.
1058
01:18:17,025 --> 01:18:19,525
- Rats?
- Rats.
1059
01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:23,946
Good idea. You stay here,
cover the outside.
1060
01:18:24,116 --> 01:18:27,616
Be right back. I hope.
1061
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,676
Wait, wait, wait!
Blow out the candle.
1062
01:18:50,809 --> 01:18:52,639
MAHONEY: Wait a minute!
- Wow.
1063
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:54,731
MAUSER:
Get back!
1064
01:18:54,938 --> 01:18:57,688
FACKLER:
Sorry, I'm nervous. What?
1065
01:18:57,858 --> 01:19:01,858
Wrap it around your waist.
Make a double slipknot like this.
1066
01:19:03,697 --> 01:19:05,317
[YELLING]
1067
01:19:05,532 --> 01:19:09,372
- I'm gonna lower you down real gently.
- Me?
1068
01:19:09,536 --> 01:19:10,826
No, your mother.
1069
01:19:14,708 --> 01:19:17,078
- Let me show you what to do. Fackler!
- Oh, no!
1070
01:19:17,252 --> 01:19:19,712
MAUSER:
Oh, shit!
1071
01:19:22,674 --> 01:19:24,184
[SCREAMS]
1072
01:19:24,384 --> 01:19:27,854
MAUSER: Stop this thing!
- What it is! Everybody's under arrest!
1073
01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:33,885
- They've arrived.
MAUSER: Get me out of here! Fackler!
1074
01:19:34,102 --> 01:19:36,062
[GUNS FIRING]
1075
01:19:36,354 --> 01:19:38,864
- Ah!
- Get me out of here! Oh, God!
1076
01:19:39,107 --> 01:19:41,397
[IMITATES GUNFIRE]
1077
01:19:43,695 --> 01:19:47,735
- Now, Zed, you're being reasonable.
- I hate reasonable!
1078
01:19:49,409 --> 01:19:50,909
MAUSER:
Schtulman, it's me!
1079
01:19:52,412 --> 01:19:55,212
[IMITATES GUNFIRE AND SIREN]
1080
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,495
JONES:
This is the police department.
1081
01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:04,223
[IMITATES HELICOPTER]
1082
01:20:06,551 --> 01:20:08,051
JONES:
Throw down your weapons...
1083
01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:10,600
...put up your hands
and come out of this cave.
1084
01:20:12,766 --> 01:20:15,226
- Hi, boys.
- Whoa.
1085
01:20:15,393 --> 01:20:17,103
But, sir... No!
1086
01:20:21,733 --> 01:20:23,233
[YELLING]
1087
01:20:41,753 --> 01:20:44,133
[GROANING]
1088
01:20:45,298 --> 01:20:48,258
- Zed, come on, let's talk.
- I'm not in the mood!
1089
01:20:48,426 --> 01:20:51,846
- Drop the gun.
- I'm in the mood.
1090
01:20:52,055 --> 01:20:56,135
- So where are you from?
- Drop the gun, punk!
1091
01:20:56,977 --> 01:20:59,477
You won't shoot!
You don't have any guts!
1092
01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:02,266
Three more seconds,
you don't have any brains.
1093
01:21:02,983 --> 01:21:07,283
- I do so have brains.
- Sir, three seconds is up.
1094
01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:09,945
I'm on about two and a half!
1095
01:21:10,323 --> 01:21:12,123
Drop it.
1096
01:21:15,954 --> 01:21:20,464
- Good job, sir!
- Thanks, Mahoney. Pick up the gun.
1097
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,498
ZED:
That didn't hurt.
1098
01:21:25,171 --> 01:21:29,971
That didn't hurt.
1099
01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:33,505
- That hurt!
- Don't move, dirtbag!
1100
01:21:33,847 --> 01:21:35,677
Where you been, Hooks?
1101
01:21:47,694 --> 01:21:50,864
Sir, that was beautiful.
1102
01:21:51,031 --> 01:21:52,821
[GUN CLICKS]
1103
01:21:56,328 --> 01:22:00,208
Haven't carried live ammo since '73.
1104
01:22:09,215 --> 01:22:11,835
Welcome back, captain.
1105
01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:17,850
MAUSER:
Proctor!
1106
01:22:19,434 --> 01:22:22,024
[BELLS RINGING]
1107
01:22:35,742 --> 01:22:39,242
MAHONEY:
One. Two.
1108
01:22:54,302 --> 01:22:57,932
Tack. Now, you be a good boy tonight.
1109
01:22:58,723 --> 01:22:59,973
You guys.
1110
01:23:04,562 --> 01:23:08,232
MAHONEY:
All right, boys. At ease.
1111
01:23:08,900 --> 01:23:11,780
Thanks. Okay, one more. Oh, excuse me.
1112
01:23:11,945 --> 01:23:13,815
[JONES IMITATES CAMERA]
1113
01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:17,122
- Hi, commandant.
- Mahoney, how are you?
1114
01:23:17,283 --> 01:23:19,453
- Pretty good.
- We've missed you.
1115
01:23:19,619 --> 01:23:21,119
- Thanks.
- Not that much.
1116
01:23:27,252 --> 01:23:29,962
- Bye!
- Bye-bye!
1117
01:23:32,757 --> 01:23:34,627
Bye!
1118
01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:03,466
[English - US - SDH]
81125