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1
00:00:00,674 --> 00:00:02,730
I don't need your help, Kelli.
2
00:00:02,750 --> 00:00:05,429
I can carry this big box
by myself.
3
00:00:05,449 --> 00:00:08,014
No problemo.
4
00:00:08,330 --> 00:00:10,197
I did not say "problemo."
5
00:00:10,217 --> 00:00:12,227
I did not say "problemo."
6
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:16,356
I'm sorry.
7
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:18,058
I do think it's really sweet
you did all this
8
00:00:18,092 --> 00:00:20,493
to welcome your parents back
from their anniversary trip.
9
00:00:20,528 --> 00:00:23,093
Mm. I am totally gonna win
their anniversary this year.
10
00:00:23,698 --> 00:00:25,999
I'm finally gonna beat Jason
at present-giving.
11
00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:27,200
And you know how?
12
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:28,902
You got your parents
an amazing gift.
13
00:00:28,936 --> 00:00:31,271
I got them an amazing gift.
And you know how else?
14
00:00:31,305 --> 00:00:32,867
You didn't tell Jason
what you're getting them.
15
00:00:32,887 --> 00:00:34,574
I didn't tell Jason
what I'm getting...
16
00:00:34,608 --> 00:00:36,532
okay, you already know.
17
00:00:37,411 --> 00:00:39,987
When they see
that I built them a porch swing
18
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,966
exactly like the one they had
when they were first married,
19
00:00:42,986 --> 00:00:45,385
- you know what they're gonna do?
- They're probably gonna lose it.
20
00:00:45,419 --> 00:00:47,087
Oh, they're probably
gonna lose...
21
00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:48,988
you don't have to answer me
every time.
22
00:00:49,023 --> 00:00:50,090
You can just let me do my thing.
23
00:00:50,124 --> 00:00:51,491
Hmm.
24
00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:56,563
Okay, everybody look at me.
25
00:00:56,583 --> 00:00:59,615
S01E09
Presents
26
00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:02,609
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
27
00:01:11,014 --> 00:01:12,530
Oli, that thing is huge.
28
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,246
You sure you can assemble it
in time?
29
00:01:14,281 --> 00:01:16,182
Yeah, yeah.
It shouldn't be too hard.
30
00:01:16,216 --> 00:01:18,918
I'll have it put together
before mom and dad get home,
31
00:01:18,952 --> 00:01:24,777
plus flowers, plus champagne
equals victory is mine!
32
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,160
You want help doing the swing?
33
00:01:28,195 --> 00:01:29,295
No, baby, I'm good.
34
00:01:29,329 --> 00:01:30,629
But, hey, can you do me a favor
35
00:01:30,664 --> 00:01:32,398
and grab
that awesome wedding portrait
36
00:01:32,432 --> 00:01:33,999
that my mom keeps on her vanity?
37
00:01:34,034 --> 00:01:36,102
I think it'd be great
to have it, like, on display
38
00:01:36,136 --> 00:01:38,204
- when they get back.
- You got it.
39
00:01:42,448 --> 00:01:44,376
- Hello?
- Hello, hello, Oliver.
40
00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:46,345
Hello, hello, mom.
How was the trip?
41
00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:47,713
Are you on your way home?
42
00:01:47,748 --> 00:01:49,415
It was wonderful.
43
00:01:49,449 --> 00:01:53,484
It felt so good to go to a
country that's clearly troubled,
44
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,521
spend some money,
and help bring those people
45
00:01:55,555 --> 00:01:58,524
up to the standards
of the rest of the world.
46
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,881
Mom, you were in Canada.
47
00:02:03,263 --> 00:02:05,308
And, hey, you shouldn't be on
your phone while you're driving.
48
00:02:05,328 --> 00:02:06,766
It's dangerous.
49
00:02:06,786 --> 00:02:08,968
Oh I am not driving. Your father is.
50
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:10,503
What, dad is driving?
51
00:02:10,537 --> 00:02:13,305
Oh, my God,
that's so much worse!
52
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:16,242
He's fine. He's a great driver.
53
00:02:16,276 --> 00:02:18,711
Raccoon!
54
00:02:20,063 --> 00:02:22,060
I'm just calling to confirm
55
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,216
that you are coming over
to dinner tonight.
56
00:02:24,251 --> 00:02:26,838
Look at that.
There's another one, huh?
57
00:02:26,858 --> 00:02:28,988
Is dad still talking
about raccoons?
58
00:02:29,022 --> 00:02:30,156
Are you sure
you shouldn't drive?
59
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:31,157
Please drive.
60
00:02:31,191 --> 00:02:33,325
Don't be ridiculous, dear.
61
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,128
All is well.
62
00:02:36,525 --> 00:02:37,396
Road.?
63
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:38,631
Oh.
64
00:02:39,318 --> 00:02:41,174
The picture
wasn't on the vanity,
65
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,802
so I started looking around,
66
00:02:42,836 --> 00:02:44,570
and look what I found
67
00:02:44,604 --> 00:02:47,573
all the way in the back
of your mom's closet.
68
00:02:47,607 --> 00:02:49,041
Oh, her old junk box?
69
00:02:49,075 --> 00:02:51,577
Try every gift
I've ever given her.
70
00:02:51,611 --> 00:02:53,179
Uh-oh.
71
00:02:53,213 --> 00:02:55,181
I can't believe
she took all my presents
72
00:02:55,215 --> 00:02:58,450
and turned them into
some kind of gift graveyard.
73
00:02:59,576 --> 00:03:01,353
Honey,
or maybe it's just like a...
74
00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:03,155
like a treasure chest
75
00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:05,691
where she keeps things
that she loves so much
76
00:03:05,725 --> 00:03:07,693
that she just... she just did...
77
00:03:07,727 --> 00:03:09,662
like, she can't... I don't know.
78
00:03:09,696 --> 00:03:11,837
I can't make that work.
79
00:03:12,349 --> 00:03:14,400
There is great stuff in here.
80
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:17,570
Okay, maybe this
wasn't the best idea.
81
00:03:18,839 --> 00:03:21,315
"It's wine o'clock somewhere"?
82
00:03:21,532 --> 00:03:23,560
Honey, my mom is very literal,
83
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:26,312
and technically, wine o'clock
is not a real time anywhere.
84
00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:30,583
I can't wait to see how
she tries to get out of this.
85
00:03:30,617 --> 00:03:31,650
Okay, listen.
86
00:03:31,685 --> 00:03:33,452
You have every right
to be upset,
87
00:03:33,486 --> 00:03:36,188
but can you maybe
not say anything about it today?
88
00:03:36,223 --> 00:03:39,516
Because today is the day
that I finally beat Jason.
89
00:03:39,536 --> 00:03:40,492
No.
90
00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:42,862
Today's the day
I finally beat your mom.
91
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:45,097
She always makes me feel bad.
92
00:03:45,131 --> 00:03:48,083
Today, I'm gonna make her
feel bad.
93
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,033
No way she can defend this one.
94
00:03:50,053 --> 00:03:51,503
Mnh-mnh. Honey, you're right.
95
00:03:51,538 --> 00:03:53,361
She can't. But she will.
96
00:03:53,381 --> 00:03:54,866
She always wins in the end.
97
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,270
She's like
the Liam neeson of moms.
98
00:03:57,290 --> 00:04:00,713
The rest of us are just vaguely
ethnic terrorists with bad aim.
99
00:04:01,494 --> 00:04:03,249
Hey. A gift card?
100
00:04:03,283 --> 00:04:05,451
Who doesn't want a gift card?
101
00:04:05,485 --> 00:04:08,387
She sees them as coupons,
and coupons are tacky.
102
00:04:08,421 --> 00:04:09,755
It's just money.
103
00:04:09,789 --> 00:04:11,357
I know, baby.
104
00:04:11,391 --> 00:04:13,259
But listen, I really do need
that photo of them,
105
00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:15,094
so would you please?
106
00:04:15,128 --> 00:04:16,762
Fine, but only
because I love you.
107
00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:18,297
And because I want to see
108
00:04:18,331 --> 00:04:21,143
if she has a box
of Clairs fts, too.
109
00:04:24,757 --> 00:04:26,105
Hi, Oliver. Have you seen...
110
00:04:26,139 --> 00:04:27,673
Oh, Claire, no!
111
00:04:27,707 --> 00:04:29,742
You guys aren't supposed to
be here for another few hours!
112
00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:31,744
It's not "you ys." It's just me.
113
00:04:31,778 --> 00:04:32,811
Oh.
114
00:04:32,846 --> 00:04:34,739
Jason's not with you?
115
00:04:34,956 --> 00:04:36,482
Well, that's good.
116
00:04:36,516 --> 00:04:38,784
Then I'm still winning.
117
00:04:38,818 --> 00:04:40,619
Hey, watch your step here
because, uh,
118
00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:43,410
I'm working
on a little project for...
119
00:04:44,808 --> 00:04:47,159
for nothing.
120
00:04:48,361 --> 00:04:49,695
I thought
I would find Jason here.
121
00:04:49,729 --> 00:04:51,430
"Find" him?
What do you mean, "find" him?
122
00:04:51,464 --> 00:04:52,698
Oh, I don't know.
123
00:04:52,732 --> 00:04:54,566
He was out late
with his doctor friends,
124
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:55,901
and then he texted me
this morning
125
00:04:55,936 --> 00:04:57,369
saying that he got called
into the hospital,
126
00:04:57,404 --> 00:04:59,438
but the hospital said
he hadn't been there.
127
00:04:59,472 --> 00:05:00,539
Hey, he probably got them
128
00:05:00,573 --> 00:05:02,374
a really great
anniversary present.
129
00:05:02,409 --> 00:05:04,243
Do you happen to know
what that is?
130
00:05:04,277 --> 00:05:06,645
I think
it was a clock or something.
131
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,580
A clock!
132
00:05:08,615 --> 00:05:11,250
That's hilarious! He's so dead.
133
00:05:11,284 --> 00:05:13,485
Oh, my God,
that's what I think, too!
134
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,820
Oh.
135
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:18,524
I didn't mean that he's actually...
136
00:05:19,851 --> 00:05:21,677
You're amazing at that.
137
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,429
I'm pretty good
at putting things together.
138
00:05:23,463 --> 00:05:26,665
I assemble all the kids' stuff
for christmases and birthdays.
139
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,167
And Jason doesn't help?
140
00:05:28,201 --> 00:05:29,301
No, he helps.
141
00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:30,636
He watches and he says,
142
00:05:30,670 --> 00:05:32,838
"could you hurry it up
with that, Claire?" A lot.
143
00:05:32,872 --> 00:05:34,273
That's why I'm so fast.
144
00:05:34,307 --> 00:05:35,774
Yeah.
145
00:05:35,809 --> 00:05:39,745
I should thank him for that
if I ever see him alive again.
146
00:05:48,551 --> 00:05:49,755
Jason?
147
00:05:49,789 --> 00:05:51,857
Are you okay?
148
00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:53,525
Oh, Jesus.
149
00:05:54,290 --> 00:05:56,362
You know how sometimes guys
in their 20s go out partying
150
00:05:56,396 --> 00:05:58,630
and wind up
with a drunken tattoo
151
00:05:58,665 --> 00:06:01,567
they instantly regret
in the morning?
152
00:06:01,601 --> 00:06:03,168
Yeah.
153
00:06:03,203 --> 00:06:04,603
Well,
I went out last night partying
154
00:06:04,637 --> 00:06:06,171
with some of my doctor friends,
155
00:06:06,206 --> 00:06:08,774
and we ended up
with some drunken
156
00:06:09,133 --> 00:06:11,944
vasectomies.
157
00:06:12,836 --> 00:06:15,730
You got a drunken vasectomy?!
158
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,464
That's a thing?!
159
00:06:22,274 --> 00:06:24,775
Drunken vasectomies?!
160
00:06:24,809 --> 00:06:26,911
How are you even allowed
to do that?
161
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:27,849
We're doctors.
162
00:06:27,869 --> 00:06:29,480
We can do
whatever the hell we want.
163
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,481
Oh.
164
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,856
Dude!
165
00:06:31,876 --> 00:06:33,617
Ow!
166
00:06:33,652 --> 00:06:34,919
Ow.
167
00:06:34,953 --> 00:06:36,238
God, I'm such an idiot.
168
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,204
You know, I told Claire
that I was done having kids.
169
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,926
And, you know,
now I'm not so sure.
170
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,528
Like, maybe I want
to try for a girl someday.
171
00:06:44,563 --> 00:06:45,881
So Claire doesn't know?
172
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:48,265
No, and you can't tell her,
either, okay?
173
00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:51,902
God, she's gonna be so pissed.
174
00:06:51,937 --> 00:06:54,354
Jason, I'm so sorry.
175
00:06:54,374 --> 00:06:55,854
I'm with you, though.
176
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,509
I'm ha a prettyig problem, too.
177
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:01,445
I found a box
in the back of your mom's closet
178
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,316
that has every gift
I've ever given her.
179
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:06,550
What?
180
00:07:06,585 --> 00:07:09,619
That doesn't even compare
to my thing.
181
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:16,060
I have tubes inside my ballsack
cut up by a drunk doctor.
182
00:07:16,094 --> 00:07:17,728
And I bought
some pretty nice gifts
183
00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:19,730
that were thrown in a box
like garbage.
184
00:07:19,765 --> 00:07:21,766
So, you know, samesies.
185
00:07:24,209 --> 00:07:26,070
Oliver,
I have a question for you.
186
00:07:26,104 --> 00:07:27,438
Okay, shoot.
187
00:07:27,472 --> 00:07:29,507
What would you say
if Kelli told you
188
00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:32,643
she had something
that you didn't want?
189
00:07:32,677 --> 00:07:33,778
Like what?
190
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,494
Uh, like a tiny, little you.
191
00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:42,800
You mean Iike an Oliver action figure?
192
00:07:43,186 --> 00:07:45,869
Why wouldn't I want that?
193
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,228
I'm pregnant.
194
00:07:48,248 --> 00:07:49,721
- What?
- Yeah.
195
00:07:49,741 --> 00:07:51,209
Claire, are you serious?
196
00:07:51,229 --> 00:07:53,110
- Yeah!
- That's amazing!
197
00:07:53,144 --> 00:07:54,311
Yeah. It is!
198
00:07:54,345 --> 00:07:55,913
But it's also terrible
199
00:07:55,947 --> 00:07:57,848
because Jason says
he doesn't want any more kids,
200
00:07:57,882 --> 00:07:59,650
and now
he's gonna have another one.
201
00:07:59,684 --> 00:08:01,185
And he jokes about divorcing me
202
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,954
when I make chicken
too often, and...
203
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:09,943
He's gonna be so mad at me.
204
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:11,824
Well, how did it happen?
205
00:08:11,844 --> 00:08:14,064
From behind.
206
00:08:16,923 --> 00:08:19,803
No, but thank you for that.
207
00:08:19,838 --> 00:08:22,372
I-I meant,
how did you get pregnant?
208
00:08:22,407 --> 00:08:25,209
Don't you guys use,
like, protection?
209
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,111
Well, you know how they say
the pill works 99% of the time?
210
00:08:28,146 --> 00:08:29,980
Well,
it works way less of the time
211
00:08:30,014 --> 00:08:31,949
if you leave your pills
in your purse
212
00:08:31,983 --> 00:08:34,498
and your purse on a bus.
213
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,462
Says here you can
get it reversed after two weeks.
214
00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:41,467
That's actually true.
215
00:08:42,393 --> 00:08:45,054
So I just need to stay away
from Claire for two weeks.
216
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:47,764
And you can't let her
see you naked because...
217
00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:50,193
'Cause that would just be cruel.
218
00:08:50,213 --> 00:08:53,036
That little minx
has a really hard time
219
00:08:53,071 --> 00:08:56,107
keeping her hands off
this twice-a-week gym body.
220
00:08:57,342 --> 00:08:59,376
I mean, what do I say?
221
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:02,387
Is there a way to tell him
so he won't be mad at me?
222
00:09:02,407 --> 00:09:05,916
Um, well,
anytime Kelli does something
223
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,051
that she thinks
will make me mad,
224
00:09:08,086 --> 00:09:10,187
she always does the same thing
225
00:09:10,221 --> 00:09:12,155
right before she tells me.
226
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:13,757
What?
227
00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:16,760
Um, well, it's, uh...
228
00:09:16,794 --> 00:09:19,363
It's sexual in nature.
229
00:09:21,332 --> 00:09:23,500
I think you know
what I'm talking about.
230
00:09:23,534 --> 00:09:25,841
No. What?
231
00:09:25,861 --> 00:09:30,852
Um, well, it's something
that makes me feel really good.
232
00:09:30,872 --> 00:09:34,497
And, like, spent.
233
00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:36,882
Still nothing.
234
00:09:36,902 --> 00:09:38,982
She blows me, okay?
235
00:09:39,017 --> 00:09:40,043
- Oh.
- Yeah.
236
00:09:40,063 --> 00:09:42,137
Then whatever it is,
I don't get mad,
237
00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:44,254
and, wow, I really don't like
238
00:09:44,289 --> 00:09:47,357
having this conversation
with my sister-in-law.
239
00:09:47,392 --> 00:09:50,527
Okay, so I do that,
then I tell him I'm pregnant?
240
00:09:50,561 --> 00:09:53,196
Genius. Thanks, Oliver.
241
00:09:53,231 --> 00:09:56,934
I'm gonna blow him
the second I see him.
242
00:09:58,002 --> 00:10:00,237
Oh, hello, hello.
243
00:10:00,271 --> 00:10:02,272
Uh, g'day, g'day.
244
00:10:03,374 --> 00:10:05,108
Uh, this is Lana.
245
00:10:05,143 --> 00:10:06,843
- Hi.
- Hi, Lana.
246
00:10:06,878 --> 00:10:08,178
Uh, Lana needs the lav.
247
00:10:08,212 --> 00:10:10,213
Uh, it's right this way,
me Sheila.
248
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,550
Uh
249
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:15,674
Um, I've been trying to hook up
with this girl for three weeks,
250
00:10:15,694 --> 00:10:18,655
and she only likes
rich foreigners,
251
00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,947
so I'm an aussie pop star
and this is my manager's house,
252
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:23,662
so I guess you're my manager
and you're my hair stylist.
253
00:10:23,682 --> 00:10:26,435
Okay, no time for questions.
Get on board!
254
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,742
Wait.
255
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,568
Do we have
an Australian accent, too?
256
00:10:31,602 --> 00:10:33,603
Oh, shit, I don't know.
257
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,440
Uh, g'day.
258
00:10:36,474 --> 00:10:38,255
- Hey.
- Hey.
259
00:10:38,275 --> 00:10:39,806
We've been out all night.
260
00:10:39,826 --> 00:10:42,479
We're just maybe looking for a
place to lay down a spell, so...
261
00:10:42,513 --> 00:10:43,647
No, wait, wait.
262
00:10:43,681 --> 00:10:45,082
You said you were gonna make me
263
00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:47,951
an authentic
Australian breakfast.
264
00:10:47,986 --> 00:10:49,619
Mmm.
265
00:10:50,645 --> 00:10:53,357
And what might that be, Blake?
266
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:56,393
Oh. You know, um...
267
00:10:56,427 --> 00:11:01,131
Uh, outback eggs
and kangaroo ham.
268
00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:03,009
Sure, it is.
269
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,480
Hey,
your hair looks great, Blake.
270
00:11:07,953 --> 00:11:10,908
Right-o. Ta.
271
00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:15,558
Hello?
272
00:11:15,578 --> 00:11:16,848
Hello, hello, Oliver.
273
00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:18,353
I just wanted to check in
274
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,245
and let you know
that I'm driving now.
275
00:11:20,265 --> 00:11:21,827
You have nothing to worry about.
276
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,828
You switched. Good.
277
00:11:23,848 --> 00:11:24,930
Well, we had to.
278
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:26,714
Your father got pulled over,
279
00:11:26,734 --> 00:11:29,196
and even though he hadn't
had a drink all weekend,
280
00:11:29,216 --> 00:11:31,962
he couldn't pass
a sobriety test.
281
00:11:31,996 --> 00:11:32,723
Oh.
282
00:11:32,743 --> 00:11:35,232
Drive safe, mom.
I'll see you in a few.
283
00:11:35,266 --> 00:11:37,634
Yeah, so, as I told you,
my manager and my hair stylist
284
00:11:37,668 --> 00:11:39,688
weren't supposed to
be here today,
285
00:11:39,708 --> 00:11:43,607
but the good news is they're
about to go on walkabout.
286
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:46,676
Which means leave.
287
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,191
Yeah, we're not, though.
288
00:11:49,211 --> 00:11:52,616
Because we have to finish
making a porch swing.
289
00:11:53,038 --> 00:11:54,864
Oh, right, yeah, yeah.
290
00:11:54,884 --> 00:11:57,654
For my...
for my album-cover shoot.
291
00:11:57,688 --> 00:11:58,517
Oh. Yeah.
292
00:11:58,537 --> 00:12:00,906
No, we decided to go a different
way with the album cover.
293
00:12:00,926 --> 00:12:05,776
This swing is for
your publicist's anniversary,
294
00:12:05,796 --> 00:12:08,223
which is tonight.
Remember?
295
00:12:10,516 --> 00:12:14,304
Ah. Bugger. Um...
296
00:12:14,338 --> 00:12:15,672
Well, how about we leave?
297
00:12:15,706 --> 00:12:17,167
We'll maybe
just go back to your place.
298
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:18,707
How long
have you been a manager?
299
00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:21,211
Because
I'm a singer, too,
300
00:12:21,245 --> 00:12:22,979
and I would love
to have a manager.
301
00:12:23,014 --> 00:12:25,148
Uh, he likes
to just focus on me.
302
00:12:25,183 --> 00:12:26,866
Uh, take up a lot of his time.
303
00:12:26,886 --> 00:12:27,733
Oh.
304
00:12:27,753 --> 00:12:30,230
And, uh, to honest,
he's not that good at his job.
305
00:12:31,145 --> 00:12:35,792
Uh, you know, Blake,
I'm only as good as my clients.
306
00:12:36,862 --> 00:12:39,497
And the truth is,
I could use a new one.
307
00:12:39,531 --> 00:12:42,066
Blake's career is not
what it used to be.
308
00:12:43,735 --> 00:12:45,069
That's helpful.
309
00:12:45,103 --> 00:12:46,971
Um, how about we get back
to that brecky, eh?
310
00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:49,106
Oh, okay.
311
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,976
Look who I found upstairs.
312
00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:53,110
Oh!
313
00:12:53,144 --> 00:12:55,112
Oh, my God, baby!
314
00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:57,047
Baby, I was so worried.
Are you okay?
315
00:12:57,082 --> 00:12:59,550
Yeah.
316
00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:03,687
Why don't you come upstairs
with me?
317
00:13:03,722 --> 00:13:06,590
'Cause I have
a super-secret surprise for you.
318
00:13:10,195 --> 00:13:11,962
I'm good.
319
00:13:11,997 --> 00:13:14,465
I think I'm just gonna park it
right here in this chair.
320
00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:18,202
What happened to you?
321
00:13:18,236 --> 00:13:21,639
Leg fell asleep.
322
00:13:21,673 --> 00:13:23,648
Hey, come here.
323
00:13:24,734 --> 00:13:27,177
What was that crazy look
Claire just gave you?
324
00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:30,681
Oh, it was... She, um...
325
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:35,019
Babe, I can't tell you.
326
00:13:35,053 --> 00:13:36,620
That's funny,
327
00:13:36,655 --> 00:13:40,157
cause I can't tell you something
Jason just told me.
328
00:13:40,191 --> 00:13:41,959
- On three?
- Yeah.
329
00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:43,227
One, two... One, two...
330
00:13:43,261 --> 00:13:44,895
- Claire's pregnant.
- Jason had a vasectomy.
331
00:13:46,197 --> 00:13:47,798
- What?
- She is?
332
00:13:47,832 --> 00:13:49,714
- Why?
- How?
333
00:13:50,071 --> 00:13:52,903
- From behind.
- He got drunk with some doctors.
334
00:13:55,671 --> 00:13:58,008
Okay,
so she's scared to tell him,
335
00:13:58,043 --> 00:14:00,878
so I told her your old trick
of what to do
336
00:14:00,912 --> 00:14:04,114
right before giving news
that might make me mad.
337
00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:08,029
Oh, no.
338
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:13,624
I told him
to hide his junk from her.
339
00:14:15,147 --> 00:14:17,962
Oh, wow. This ought to be fun.
340
00:14:17,996 --> 00:14:19,630
Yeah.
341
00:14:26,694 --> 00:14:28,562
Why so shy, sweetheart?
342
00:14:28,596 --> 00:14:29,997
I'm just really tired, babe.
343
00:14:30,031 --> 00:14:30,662
Mm-hmm.
344
00:14:30,682 --> 00:14:33,671
Think I'm gonna go rest...
My leg.
345
00:14:33,691 --> 00:14:35,797
Oh.
346
00:14:37,839 --> 00:14:39,928
Should we just tell them?
347
00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:40,874
No way, honey.
348
00:14:40,894 --> 00:14:43,143
We can't be the ones to
tell Jason he's having a baby.
349
00:14:44,059 --> 00:14:45,900
And we can't be the ones
to tell Claire
350
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,015
he's not having any more.
351
00:14:48,049 --> 00:14:51,051
Okay, listen, my parents
are gonna be home any minute.
352
00:14:51,085 --> 00:14:53,820
It's almost "Oliver wins
the anniversary" time.
353
00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:59,198
Which means it's almost
"Kelli wins Ricky" time.
354
00:15:00,028 --> 00:15:01,929
Oh, you're adorable.
355
00:15:01,963 --> 00:15:04,131
But she will destroy you.
356
00:15:04,165 --> 00:15:08,835
Uh, Oli, Lana wants to sing you
a song as an audition.
357
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,506
Okay, guys, I think maybe this
has gone a little bit too...
358
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:15,075
♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪
359
00:15:15,913 --> 00:15:17,411
Hello, hello!
360
00:15:17,445 --> 00:15:19,452
Happy anniversary.
361
00:15:19,472 --> 00:15:24,117
Oh, look, my, uh, publicist
and chauffeur are here.
362
00:15:24,152 --> 00:15:25,118
What?
363
00:15:25,153 --> 00:15:26,753
Okay, Blake is a pop star,
364
00:15:26,788 --> 00:15:28,956
I'm his manager,
and you're his publicist.
365
00:15:28,990 --> 00:15:31,224
Oh, for God's sake.
366
00:15:33,995 --> 00:15:35,062
Wow.
367
00:15:35,288 --> 00:15:37,600
Your publicist is a bitch.
368
00:15:38,866 --> 00:15:41,802
But his chauffeur isn't.
369
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,005
Honey, don't do it.
370
00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:48,008
Oh, I'm doing it.
371
00:15:51,404 --> 00:15:53,249
- What's that?
- Yeah, that's right.
372
00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:56,817
I found
your little Kelli gift cemetery.
373
00:15:58,186 --> 00:16:01,151
Oh, that was in my closet.
374
00:16:01,171 --> 00:16:02,923
Not anymore.
375
00:16:02,957 --> 00:16:06,026
You want to explain why
every gift I've ever given you
376
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,639
was in a box
in the back of your closet?
377
00:16:08,659 --> 00:16:10,458
Okay, calm down.
378
00:16:10,478 --> 00:16:14,835
I can see that your
little discovery has upset you.
379
00:16:14,869 --> 00:16:16,342
Damn right, it has.
380
00:16:16,362 --> 00:16:18,235
What would you prefer I do?
381
00:16:18,255 --> 00:16:20,507
Tell you I loved it,
382
00:16:20,541 --> 00:16:23,610
and then the second you left,
throw the gifts in the trash?
383
00:16:23,644 --> 00:16:24,978
Well, no...
384
00:16:25,013 --> 00:16:26,480
Of course not.
385
00:16:26,514 --> 00:16:29,149
Would you prefer
that I said I liked it
386
00:16:29,183 --> 00:16:32,976
and then gave it to Leticia
as her Christmas present?
387
00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:35,822
No, because...
388
00:16:35,857 --> 00:16:37,624
Because that would be rude.
389
00:16:37,658 --> 00:16:41,661
Would you rather that I just
said, "Kelli, I don't like this.
390
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:43,263
"It's not my style.
391
00:16:43,297 --> 00:16:46,900
I don't want to wear it,
eat it, look at it, or use it."
392
00:16:48,302 --> 00:16:50,804
"So take it back
to wherever you got it
393
00:16:50,838 --> 00:16:53,540
because I don't want it
in my house"?
394
00:16:53,574 --> 00:16:55,809
No, I wouldn't, Ricky.
395
00:16:55,843 --> 00:16:57,744
No, and why wouldn't you?
396
00:16:57,779 --> 00:16:59,179
Because it would be rude
397
00:16:59,213 --> 00:17:02,082
and would hurt your feelings,
wouldn't it?
398
00:17:02,116 --> 00:17:03,900
Yes, it would.
399
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,987
So, if you rummage
through my closet
400
00:17:07,021 --> 00:17:11,024
and my personal belongings
in my house on my anniversary,
401
00:17:11,059 --> 00:17:12,715
is that rude?
402
00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:18,795
Might that hurt my feelings?
403
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:21,308
Yes.
404
00:17:21,328 --> 00:17:23,092
Good. Then it's settled.
405
00:17:23,112 --> 00:17:25,772
I accept your apology.
406
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:35,916
How'd it go?
407
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:38,318
Are you familiar with my ass?
408
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:41,321
Very.
409
00:17:41,355 --> 00:17:46,259
I am, too, now, 'cause I just
had it handed to me.
410
00:17:48,596 --> 00:17:50,797
Jason. What's up, dad?
411
00:17:50,832 --> 00:17:53,934
When did you get your vasectomy?
412
00:17:55,303 --> 00:17:56,937
How did you know?
413
00:17:56,971 --> 00:17:59,573
I recognize the walk.
414
00:18:01,462 --> 00:18:04,211
I got snipped, too, you know?
415
00:18:04,245 --> 00:18:06,213
I haven't even told Claire yet.
416
00:18:06,247 --> 00:18:07,948
Well, you got to tell her, son.
417
00:18:07,982 --> 00:18:09,683
- I know, dad.
- What?
418
00:18:09,717 --> 00:18:12,119
They snipped
your balls off, too?
419
00:18:14,122 --> 00:18:16,857
Okay, everybody,
can we gather around the couch
420
00:18:16,891 --> 00:18:17,958
for just a minute?
421
00:18:20,846 --> 00:18:22,762
Mom, dad.
422
00:18:22,797 --> 00:18:24,831
In honor of your anniversary,
423
00:18:24,866 --> 00:18:27,100
I wanted to do a little somthing
424
00:18:27,135 --> 00:18:31,676
to celebrate your past
and your future.
425
00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:33,874
Ta-da!
426
00:18:33,908 --> 00:18:37,277
Oh! A new porch swing!
427
00:18:37,311 --> 00:18:40,682
Oh, Oliver, it's beautiful.
428
00:18:41,209 --> 00:18:44,818
Oh, Oliver,
this is the best present
429
00:18:44,852 --> 00:18:47,037
we ever could have gotten.
430
00:18:47,057 --> 00:18:49,022
And all this work.
431
00:18:49,056 --> 00:18:51,960
Oh, I love it and I love you.
432
00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:53,894
I love you, too, mom.
433
00:18:54,737 --> 00:18:56,930
I crushed it.
434
00:18:58,299 --> 00:19:00,066
Why are you avoiding me?
435
00:19:00,101 --> 00:19:01,735
I need to talk to you.
436
00:19:01,769 --> 00:19:04,070
Look, I-I got to talk
to you, all right?
437
00:19:04,105 --> 00:19:05,205
I'... I'm sorry.
438
00:19:06,774 --> 00:19:08,241
God, I went out last night
with some friends,
439
00:19:08,276 --> 00:19:11,711
we got really drunk,
and I ended up with a...
440
00:19:11,746 --> 00:19:12,946
A vasectomy.
441
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:14,214
What?
442
00:19:14,248 --> 00:19:16,683
It's so stupid. I'm sorry.
443
00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:18,251
It's okay.
444
00:19:18,286 --> 00:19:21,755
I mean, it's super weird thing
to do with your friends.
445
00:19:23,502 --> 00:19:26,760
But it's... it's okay.
446
00:19:26,794 --> 00:19:28,028
No, it's not okay.
447
00:19:28,062 --> 00:19:29,029
I should've talked about this
with you.
448
00:19:29,063 --> 00:19:30,063
I'm sorry.
449
00:19:30,097 --> 00:19:31,264
No, it doesn't matter.
450
00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:32,766
Of course it matters, honey.
451
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,034
Come on. What do you mean?
452
00:19:34,068 --> 00:19:37,737
'Cause, baby, I'm pregnant.
453
00:19:37,772 --> 00:19:39,272
A-are you serious?
454
00:19:39,307 --> 00:19:41,074
Yeah.
I mean, I took three tests.
455
00:19:41,108 --> 00:19:43,109
Well, four,
but one fell in the toilet,
456
00:19:43,144 --> 00:19:45,045
and I was like,
"bleagh, I'm not..."
457
00:19:46,214 --> 00:19:47,714
We're having a baby?
458
00:19:47,748 --> 00:19:50,016
- We're having a baby.
- Oh, my God.
459
00:19:51,485 --> 00:19:54,020
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
460
00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:55,956
Oh. Guys.
461
00:19:56,352 --> 00:19:58,959
We're having a baby.
462
00:19:58,993 --> 00:20:00,794
Oh, my gosh!
463
00:20:00,828 --> 00:20:02,712
Another Weston baby?!
464
00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:07,801
This is the best present
anyone could have ever given me!
465
00:20:07,835 --> 00:20:09,402
Don't lie it!
466
00:20:09,437 --> 00:20:11,071
That's fantastic!
467
00:20:11,105 --> 00:20:13,373
Oh, my God. Seriously?
468
00:20:21,241 --> 00:20:22,802
Oh, my God, Oliver.
469
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,677
Today is the day I am
totally gonna beat your mom.
470
00:20:25,712 --> 00:20:27,446
I can just feel it.
471
00:20:28,371 --> 00:20:30,274
Kelli, babe,
472
00:20:30,294 --> 00:20:33,552
I'm so gonna beat my brother
at gift-giving.
473
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,487
I mean, there is, like,
474
00:20:35,522 --> 00:20:38,457
no way she can talk her way
out of this.
475
00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:43,228
This swing
is the best present ever!
476
00:20:45,231 --> 00:20:46,732
Oh, babe, you missed our turn.
477
00:20:46,766 --> 00:20:50,102
Oh, babe, you missed our turn.
478
00:20:50,455 --> 00:20:52,237
No, seriously,
you missed the turn.
479
00:20:52,272 --> 00:20:55,016
Shit, I'm sorry.
480
00:20:55,326 --> 00:20:58,925
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