All language subtitles for You-Me-and-Him-2018-WEB-DL-inGolin-com-mp4

www.fmsubs.com

You know that moment, when you
finally understand life?

You just get it?

Well, this was my moment.

I got it. Everything and
everyone
in my life fit into a neat,
little box.

Here are the individualist
hipster clones...

and the better-than-you bankers.

See?

I knew exactly what was what,
who was who
and most importantly who I am.

Aw, the yummy mummies.

Look, we all do it.

We give ourselves labels
to feel we belong.

Silly, really. Because waking up
to yourself is about letting go

of who you imagine yourself to
be.

Of course, I had yet to learn
that.

Yep. No. I'm up.
I'm gonna take on the world.

Oh!

www.fmsubs.com

Fuck!

Look smart, everyone! She's
almost here.

-Could I get that deposition,
Charles?
-Yes, yes.

Could I get a smile too
for Sophie's last day?

Terrifying as usual. Thank you.

Surprise!

You do not do that to someone!
Oh!

I'll be sad to leave the firm.

Glad to see the back of you lot,
of course.

Yay!

Yes, Olivia, thank you for the
surprise.
I can tell you were the one
behind it.

And now for another
surprise...

I'm gonna be a mum.
That's right. I'm having a baby.

Thank you.

Yay!

Shoo! Go on. Shoo! Go on!
Fuck off! Go get the mouse
that's...

not this one.

That was rather embarrassing,
wasn't it?

-Excruciating stuff.
-Yes.

Thank you. Much better
adjective.

-It is possible, you know.
-Yeah! Sure, yes. I mean...

that was always the plan. Um...

but then you wake up after yet
another pointless relationship

and you realize...

the only thing you ever truly
wanted,
you left up to fate.

And now it's too late.

-No chance with the current?
-She's barely 12.

Unfortunately, I am completely
obsessed
with her.

-Finally happy.
-You don't look very happy.

So...

who's the man then?

No man.

A woman needs a man like a fish
needs a bicycle and all that.

-Yes, but who's like a man?
-We are, quite literally, two
women.

Yes, but top or bottom sort of
thing.
I mean, how does it fit
together?

Charles, please. Stop doing
that.

-What do you call this piece?
-Dot.

-Do you know what it represents?
-What?

-Fuck all!
-Don't say that.

I literally spent all day,
creating a full stop.

But this what being a
struggling artist
is all about.

Yeah, but when do you
stop saying "struggling"

-and just realize that you are
not one.
-Never.

If I'm all right with it,
you can be too, you know.

Alex, that's not who you are.

How was your day?

Lovely, thank you.

Um... I did get us a new pet.

Her name's Maureen.

There are ways to address
procrastination,
as we discussed.

Are there?

Are there?

-I know...
-You do?

I need to get up and face the
world.

Actually, um...

I was going to ask you to marry
me.

-Have you got a ring?
-Yes! No, I don't. It...

-More of an "in theory"
situation.
-You just proposed to me in
theory?

I mean, do you think we should?
Because, then we'll be as close
as...

you know, family and we could...

All those lovely tax benefits.

-You've not proposed before,
have you?
-Is it too soon?

It is too soon. Yep. It
probably...

Ignore me. I've had a lot of
coffee.

And now you're literally taking
your proposal back?

Got me divorce papers through,
this morning.

-John!
-Most people just say good
morning, John!

As long as she gives me
my signed football back, I'm
happy.

Oh, I'm sure she will.

-So, you're a single man, now?
-Yeah!

Gosh! You can party, date and...

- ...travel the
world.
- Grow my hair a bit.

- And that.
- Have a divorce party.

Oh, that's classy.

- Thank you!
- Goodbye, John!

What you doin'?

Are you two doing stuff?

Look at him. Mr.
Family Man.

If we were still kids, I'd go
over there
and give him a wedgie.

Those trousers are doing the
job for you.

-Do you ever think about that?
-You brother's ass. Daily, yeah.

I wish I had the courage to be
different,

to stand alone and accept that
I have
feelings for men.

-I just can't deal with the
stigma.
-Just 'cause, lately I've been--

I've just been thinking, I
don't know,
what a great mum you'd make.

So that's what it was about.

-What?
-The anti-proposal.

-No.
-That's why you had no ring.

Look, were we-- You know, I
don't--
We haven't broached that, have
we?

-The kid thing? Have we covered
that?
-Uh, yeah. Date two.

You asked me, and I said maybe,
but like, not for years.

Okay.

Well, you didn't shut it down.

-Did you?
-That was ten months ago.

Get ready, people!

You've seen my bank balance,
huh?
I don't know if I'm ready. If
I'm ever...

-gonna be ready.
-Yeah. Yes.

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Are those tears?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Um...

I'm sorry. I know you're not
ready.

But Alex, I'm almost 40.

The shop is closing.

I know that's not terribly
Gloria Steinem
of me but it's true.

This is a thing, isn't it?

I should have been more honest.

How long have you wanted this?

Only since I was five.

You should have been more
honest.

I just didn't want to lose you.

You have me.

This is it. I'm done.

I want us to be a family.

I need time...

-time to think.
-Sure. Oh, absolutely, yeah.
Cool.

No pressure.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

So, you dumped her?

No, Alf. She asked for a baby.
Not a kidney.

That would be way less hassle.

-I said I'd think about it.
-Who would have it?

You?

You'll never have sex again.
Pregnancy fucks with your
vagina, man.

She wants to do it.
There's no way I'm shitting out
a kid.

-How many of these we've had?
-Like...

three... each.

-The guy said just have a half.
-It'll be mellow. It's always
mellow.

What is happening?

It just won't stop.

We're all gonna die.

- Hey! You made it.
- Of course, we did.

We needed the alcohol.

Well, I'm just glad
you didn't feel intimidated.

Happy divorce.

Thank you very much, Olivia.
I'm heartbroken, you know?

- Hang on in there.
- Thank you, Alex.

Just BTW, I can see right
through that top.

Oh, oh! Mojitos are up!

Come on!

Babe.

-I'm still not talking to you,
okay?
-I'm sorry.

Those brownies were stronger
than expected and to be fair...

that ride cannot be safe for
kids.

-Alex, this is not the way to
behave.
-I know.

I just got bored of not getting
anything done

-and wanted to have some fun, I
am trying.
-Well, just hurry up!

-Hurry up!
-Yes!

Girls? Really?

Isn't this something about MTV
in the 90's?

I think those two will fancy you
whatever.

Alex, I need you to be the
person
that you plan to be sooner.

Why?

Becau--
because you're going to be a
mother.

I've started already...

the insemination program.

Surprise.

Yay.

How could you do this?

Huh?

You promised me time to think.

I just thought I'd give it a
shot and see.

- This is our life.
- Alex, I couldn't wait.

Not any longer.

This was never about me.

You'll be a great mother--

Stop telling me what I'm
fucking great at.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'm going to go back to our
house
and give us both time to cool
off.

I don't wanna see you.

-Fine. I'll go to my parents.
-Fine.

Fuck!

-Ah-ha! Where's Olivia?
-Huh! I've been left behind.

You okay?

"I make so many
beginnings,
there will never be an end."

-I'm not quite following.
-Mm.

Little Women . You should read
it, John.

In the meantime...

do you fancy forgetting
who the fuck we are for a bit?

-Oh! Most definitely.
-Fantastic!

- Green juice, darling?
- No, thanks, Mummy.

-Nice to have our princess home.
-Just the damn best.

Wish you had an argument
with your flatmate every week.

-Girlfriend.
-Life partner, darling.

Well, we'll be here when
it doesn't work out, won't we,
love?

Absolutely!

Good morning, Alex.

Do you wanna go again?

Oh, my God.

Oh, thank God!

Oh, Alex, I can't believe I did
that
without telling you.

-I'm so sorry.
-I'm so sorry.

-I'm so sorry.
-So sorry.

So sorry?

Let's just have a baby. Huh?
Let's do whatever you want.

Whatever it takes.

-Really?
-Let's mess up your VJ, good
and proper.

That's a yes.

Yay!

Thank you! Because, Alex...

this is about you.

I can't do this without you
being part of it, you know?

-It'll be easy, right?
-Yes!

Having a baby is just like
having a mate
around who's always pissed.

They just need propping up now
and again,
and given fluids.

-Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
-Sweet!

So I would ask you to
find him
accountable for what he did.

In summation, clause 14 states
that--

That's not what it states.

Clause 14--

Are you able
to continue, Miss Miller?

Um...

no, actually.

My colleague will tell you
about that clause.

If you will please excuse me,
I have to vomit.

There's more out here
if you need 'em babe.

Say a prayer to the god of
fertility.

That's not gonna happen. Go!

It's positive!

I'm pregnant!

Snap. I'm pregnant.

No, I am. I am pregnant.

What?

-I don't understand what
happened.
-Oh, poor you. You're all
confused.

Meanwhile, you have just put
my entire life in a salad
spinner of fuck!

I was so drunk.

And you went behind my back
and that really hurt.

So, you thought you'd sleep
with a man
you nicknamed scrotum pole?

I don't remember anything.

You remembered how to
fuck,
obviously!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Look how much you're fucking
making me swear!

I just don't understand why you
keep
messing everything up for
yourself.

-Oh, what's this?
-Bag.

-What?
-Bag. Paper bag.

Just--

-We were so good together.
-I know.

I know

You can't be the one to comfort
me
over you.

Oh, yes!

Olivia, look.

-She gave me my ball back.
-That's fantastic! I'm so happy
for you.

Let's have a look.

Okay.

Can I have my ball back now?

So just go romcom on her arse.

'Scuse me?

The big romantic gesture.
Richard Gere, roses,

so she no longer feels like a
hooker.

Then I'm literally gonna be a
mum
to two kids. Just like that.

-You're already having one.
-Not without her, I'm not.

Does that make me a shitty
person?

It's not a story I'd tell them
at their graduation but no...

you're all right.

I don't know what to do.

Can you be without her?

-No.
-Not a chance?

-Not one.
-There you go then.

And now...

to celebrate.

-I'm gonna have a baby, Alf.
-Yeah, I know. I sympathize.

This'll make you feel better.

Yep.

Whoa!

That is so not cool.

I can't sell a single painting.

Not even the one with me tits
out.

So, I sold all those cool art
supplies
and I got you this.

I can't do this on me own.
And I don't think you can,
either.

Have you smelled this thing?

It's vintage, isn't it?

And why exactly do you think
I wouldn't be able to do this
on my own?

I have support.
Friends, my family, friends.

-Which friends?
-Friends.

Maureen?

Well what do you bring, Alex?

And you need to get that
fucking mouse
out of my house.

I'm home all day.

Got a thing for Pixar.

To be honest, I hadn't thought
beyond the pram.

I just know that if you were
ever able
to forgive me,

then I would love
to be the mum that you think I
can be.

So, I'd like to call today,
"Lez be having some babies!"

-No jokes.
-Understood. Not a laughing
matter.

-Alex.
-Present.

Yep. We've established that.
My sister has asked me to do
this

quite heinous bit of mediation
today,
so you can both be sure you're
entering

-into this agreement--
-Family. Family.

Bit of a stretch but anyway...
with clarity and closure.

Yeah, fine. I'll agree to
anything.

How romantic. Now here are the
hard
and fast rules.

Never again shall either of you
mention
that Alex slept with someone
else.

- Fine.
-You have to meet each other's parents.

-Fine.
-And you have to tell John
about the baby.

-No fucking way!
-He's the father.

We're talking about the man who
thought
LGBT was just a really big
sandwich.

You slept with him.

Oh! I think we agreed no more
mention
of the S word.

-Shut up, Ben!
-That's mature.

Why would you want him involved?
He almost ruined us.

How else are we going
to afford two children on one
salary?

Well, we don't need childcare.
I'll look after them.

No Alex, you're an artist.

You can't give up your dream.

You are my dream.

Shut up, Ben.

You two are perfect for each
other.

I want to do this properly.
One has to do the right thing.

You've started talking like the
Queen.

Must be serious.

That's her serious face, too.

Or she's having a stroke.

-Shut up!
-Okay, why am I here?

-Hey, John.
-Oh, hey!

- I'm so glad you're talking to me again.
- -Who's the daddy?

- You what?
- Who's the daddy?

Huh?

Who. Is. The. Daddy?

I am the daddy.

-Yes, you are.
-Excuse me?

She's pregnant.
You are going to be a daddy.

And we're gonna need shitloads
of money.

-Well, I did it.
-Yes, you did.

Mm-hmm.

Why can we never do that?

-I thought you meant sexually.
-No, she didn't. That was our
joke.

You did not mean sexually?

I had sex with that.

And now there's a baby gonna be
coming
out of that.

Yes, thank you for the biology
lecture.
Come in before you throw up on
that.

Look, mate... I don't expect
anything.

Maybe money.

-You work in banking, right?
-No, not anymore.

No. I own and run a site called
Mannism.

It's um...

It's a-- It's a-- A place
where alpha males can connect
and...

share the message of the
ancient Greek word, " Arete".

-"Be the best you can be."
-So, money's out then.

Well...

you keep doing that.

Because, I'm perfectly cool
raising this baby with Olivia.

-I'm also having a baby.
-Bollocks.

Actually, it's certain.

No, not that. Congrats or
whatever.
Bollocks to me not playing a
part.

I am the father!
That little one needs a dad.

Please. Please let me be the
dad.
Plus, I live right next door.

I have a complex vocabulary.

You can't drive. I can drive
you!
If you want.

Get him out
of this house, now!

-I've heard enough. He knows
now.
-Yes.

Off you go, John.

-I cannot believe that is the
man who--
-Turned your girlfriend
straight?

-Oh, my God!
-That's what she said.

Sorry, that was right there.

I am so incredibly sorry for
the pain
that I have caused you.

If I could go back in time
and change what happened, I
would. But...

I'm a great guy.

Let me take you out to lunch,
clear the air, get to know me
better.

Yeah? I want to be a part of
this.

This is...

kind of all I've got.

-Aside from Mannism?
-Hail to the Alpha.

Give me a chance?

Go on. Give me a chance.

Aw.

Is it supposed to look like
an underwater alien?

Yes. It is quite revolting,
isn't it?

So, Alex, that membrane which
is protecting the fetus

is known as the amniotic sac.

-That's mingin'. Stop it.
-Yes. Please stop.

-So, you're pregnant too?
-I am.

-And you're both together?
-We are.

-Yes.
-And both pregnant with...

some other people's children?

Well, it's not quite that
random.
I was artificially inseminated
by a donor.

Oh, yes. Thank you. No need to
elaborate.
Very feminist, I'm sure.

Okay, well. Thank you very much.

Are you wearing an underwire
bra?

-Sorry?
-You should stop during
pregnancy.

It restricts the growth of milk
glands
in your--

-Breasts.
-Hmm.

You need to know
these things. You can't ignore
pregnancy.

Sadly.

Um, if my waters break
while I'm out and about,

uh, will it look
like I've just pissed myself?

It's more of a trickle than a--
Oh, dear God-- Gush.

And um, during labor,
is it correct that...

-one can crap oneself?
-I'll give you some leaflets,
okay?

Did you know,
I have a painting of my vulva

that would look absolutely
gorgeous
in here?

-No, thank you. Goodbye.
Toodle-oo.
-Okay, buh-bye. Bye.

How'd we manage to
find the one
obstetrician who's weird about
vaginas?

Saturdays at 11:00 a.m. Got it.
Thank you. Bye.

-Hello!
-Hello there!

I'm really pleased we got to do
this.

-I'm pleased we could do this,
too.
-Yeah.

I appreciated your apology.

Well, I appreciate you saying
that.

-Great! I am starving.
-Sandwiches.

-Oh. This is stilton?
-Yeah.

I don't think I can have it.

Alex was just going on about
this
yesterday.

-What, 'cause of the--
-Yeah.

-Oh, I'm so sorry.
-That's okay. I can still have
the bread.

I'll just take this.

Yes, um...

-Alex is become quite the
pregnancy major.
-That girl's hilarious. Never
serious.

She can be quite serious,
though.

No. I think even when she's
serious,
it's a little un-serious.

Well, maybe you don't take
what she's saying seriously.

I'm pretty certain she's just
being fun
and not serious.

-Well, she does laugh a lot.
-Yeah.

-Like a little squeaky mouse.
-It's quite a big laugh
actually, I'd say.

It's big for her,
but pretty small, generally.

I'd say if it's big for her,
it's big for anyone.

-Really?
-Yeah.

- I think, it's more like...
- Something like that.

Obviously, I've been making her
laugh
a lot. But it's nothing like
that.

No, I hear it quite a lot
like...

-It's more of a-- It's, uh,
lower.
-No.

Guttural, sort of...

- That sort of...
- No, it's...

It's not like that.

No, I'm thinking of something
else.

So... how was he then?
Big fella? Nice moves?

-Mum, you're kind of missing
the point.
-Best news I've heard all year.

-That's great to hear.
-You shagged a bloke.

You're back to yourself again.

What are talking about?
I've never been into blokes.

Oh! What about Turner's son?

I was five. He taught me how to
piss
in the sea discretely.

It was hardly a grand romance.
It was more of a very useful
life tool.

Well... I just think
we've turned a corner, that's
all.

So... are you getting it dealt
with?

No. I'm having it
and raising it with Olivia.

Listen. Listen to me.

Now you know I love you, don't
you?

And I will support any decision
you ever make.

I just think two women raising
a child together is fucking
disgusting.

And we're back.

I mean what're you gonna do
when it asks where its daddy is?

John is going to be a part of
their life.

-Oh, so he's still skulking
around, is he?
-No. Not like that.

All I'm saying
is don't close off all your
options.

Sort yourself out,
concentrate on your career

and see if you can have a
proper baby
one day.

What am I gonna teach a
kid?

I'm gonna be a mum
before I've been anything else.

Oh, that's not true.

You were a stoner for a while.

Ah, see, John was definitely
not impersonating your laugh.

Sorry.
Are you gonna finish that?

No. Knock yourself out.

I'm only craving rabbit food
at the moment.

I hate you.

That just makes me pee myself.

-That can scientifically not be
true.
-Well, something is making me
pee myself.

You know...

I actually don't have any
sympathy
for you.

You're gonna have this baby...

your body will snap back
and then you got the kid box
ticked.

Do you have any idea how many
thirty-something women

are on horrendous dates right
now?

One eye on the clock and one
eye on some
dull bloke sitting opposite
them thinking,

"Oh, crap. He'll have to do."

Or lesbians frantically
googling,
"Sperm donors with Oxbridge
degrees".

Exactly.

-Do you know her?
-No, but she's pregnant.

So?

That's what you do when you're
pregnant,
you wave at each other, like
cabbies.

Hmm.

"Labor". Yeah.
Even the word makes us feel
tense.

This course is gonna equip you
with all the tools and
techniques

that you need to challenge
the contemporary
over-medicalized,

fear-based, birthing culture

and to remind your body
to let it all go, guys.

Now, no questions till the end
Please remember the rules.

So, some of you are sitting here
in like a refrigerator of terror

and some of you will
be sitting here, doubting,

whether hypnobirthing works at
all.
Well...

it-- It does.

It does. Let's start
with the introductions, Alex.

-This is Alex.
-Hi.

And this is Alex's female life
partner,
Olivia.

Huh!

I'm just so happy and humbled
to have you in my group, guys.

Oh! Thank you.

Oh, and this is Mike and Maya,
Morgan and Amanda, and
Allison...

-Dave.
-and Dave. I know that.

I know that. Right.

Let's talk about pain.

"Pain". What is pain?

It's a rhetorical question.

Pain is being judged by the
color
of your skin,

pain is not being allowed to
have
a relationship with someone

because they are the wrong
gender.
Am I right?

You go, girl.

Pain is being fisted by
a 300-pound rich white guy

because you haven't got enough
money
to pay the rent.

What pain is not...

is labor.

-Sweet.
-Right.

- Wait.
- Okay.

Excuse me. Can I be
of some assistance to you?

-Don't start without me.
-What are you doing here?

I have every right to be here.
I'm the father of Alex's baby.

I should be part of the process.

You looked at my planner.

Okay, okay, relax.

You never seen a poly-amorous
relationship before?

-No.
-Yeah. well simmer down.

Welcome, John.

-You are welcome, one and all.
-Yeah, sorry.

Amy, can I just say that we're
not wha--

-what you just said we are.
-Yes.

But, John is the real father
and he's very much welcome.

-Thanks, Alex.
-Is he your sperm donor, too?

Allison, that is enough
judgement.

They're lesbians. They don't
wanna talk
about sperms.

Right-O! Sorry.

I'd like you to take your
partner's hand,
and put it on the baby's head.

Now, if you're seven months or
under,
that's gonna be up here,

under your breastal balcony.

And if you're further along,
it might be down in your minge.

Right. I don't-- What am I
supposed to do?

- I don't have a partner.
- -Oh, I want a part of this.

-I'll be your partner.
-Well, she's my partner, so.

I'd like to be your
partner.
Where are you? You up or down?

-I'm up. Yup.
-Here. Right.

-And if you put your hand on my
hand...
-Okay.

...feeling that lovely little
bonce there.
That feels nice, right?

Yup.

Loving that.

-Olivia, wait.
-Nice breathing today, Alex.

-Yeah. Cheers, John.
-You're looking great, too.

Body's really acknowledging
the pregnancy. It's beautiful.

Olivia, wait. Look, he's
harmless.
Like you said he has the right.

I was wrong. He deserves no
rights.
He deserves impotency.

You have my word.
This is as close as John will
get.

John? Not Skeletor-Mr. String
Theory-
Fuck-face-Leaning Tower of Piss?

No? Or The Man Evolution Forgot?

-Just John.
-Just John? Okay.

Got it. Just so now, thanks.

Oh, I did have a couple of
questions...
concerns.

Fine.

Extremely burnt toast.
Can't get enough of the stuff.
Healthy?

Perfectly normal to have
cravings.

-Also--
-I have tons of energy. Is that
normal?

Perhaps, it's 'cause you haven't
been sober this long since you
were 12.

Hey, hormones.

Oh, sorry.

It's just that your...

spring-has-sprung pregnancy
is fucking annoying.

Language.

What?

I don't know,

Amy said something about...

baby feeling the meaning
of everything that it hears.

Is that right, Dr. Parks?

Just medical questions, please.

I'm not, uh, singing at
crystals or waving
my arms about dancing in a
field.

Also, nose bleeds.
I've had millions of them.

In court, debating a case, no
idea
I looked like the final scene
of Carrie.

The increase in blood supply
puts more pressure on the
vessels,

causing them to... easily erupt.

-You still don't want to know?
-No, no thank you.

I guess we don't get many
surprises
in life anymore,

-so I thought, why find out.
-How fascinating.

-You ready?
-Yes, yes. Let's find out.

-You will be having...
-Yep.

...a little baby...

boy.

Aw.

Baby boy.

-I have a penis inside of me.
-First time for everything.
Hey! Hey!

Okay.

That's something
I wanted to feel, I wanted to
feel the...

Hello, Charles.

-What's wrong with your face?
-Oh!

-Ah! Pigmentation thingamajig.
-Yes. Yeah.

Same thing happened to my wife
when she was pregnant.

Yes. Turns out I've got every
possible pregnancy ailment
going.

I'm actually terribly depressed.

My wife picked up some fake tan,
smothered it all over her face.

Evened it out.

That's actually not a bad idea.

She looked like
an entirely different person.

-Hmm.
-Like I was having a naughty
affair.

I just pissed myself, Charles.

Again.

I've missed this.
Just hanging out with someone.

What? Your wife?

I thought you hated her guts.

Actually, she hated mine.

Oh!

-Sorry.
-Yeah.

I guess I just had to make a
decision
between being a pioneer and a
husband.

Huh?

- I'm sure Steve Jobs had the
same problem.

Or maybe, I wasn't the perfect
husband.

And what's the perfect husband?

Uh, not a total dick?

That's better.

"Be worthy love and love will
come."

Wait.

Are you quoting my favorite
book?

Little Women .
Yeah, you were absolutely right.

I read it cover to cover and I
cried!

Good! And who am I? Joe?

You can be whoever you wanna be.

You are lovely underneath it
all.

-You're lovely everywhere.
-Huh?

So, how're you feeling, anyway?

The bump gets in the way of
everything.
Even shaving my legs.

Uh, I need to pee. But it's a
phantom pee.

I go to pee. No pee comes out.
You know, like when you're on
drugs.

-What about the constipation?
-You what?

Haven't you got nuts bowels?
I have.

I hate to break it to you,
John, but you're not pregnant.

I have couvade syndrome.
Sympathy pains for the partner.

-Of course you have, darling.
-I do.

Yeah, right.

John was just going.

Was he brushing your hair?

It's getting so thick and I
just needed
someone to brush it out for me.

-Mine's not getting any thicker.
-The ones on your chin are.
Boom!

I'm sorry. Sorry! I'm
constipated.

-Fake tan.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

For my blotchy and apparently
hairy face.

-Why? Why? Why the fuck is he
here?
-Shh.

I'm sorry. Did I swear?
Oh, I'm sorry.

You know I'll fall for you.
But you know what else is
really awful?

Trying to get Mr. Chapman
convicted
of tax evasion whilst you
repeatedly fart

throughout your closing
statement.
Mr. Chapman is roaring with
laughter.

What do I do?

Nothing.

Just keep on farting.

All I want is to come home for
a snuggle
with my girlfriend.

-But she's--
-Oh!

-Oh!
-Oh, God! I'm sorry.

-What did I do?
-I think it kicked.

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

-Can I feel?
-Yep.

-There?
-I can't feel anything.

Wait, wait, wait.

-Still can't--
-Just wait.

-I missed it kick.
-No, shh.

-Babe. No, babe.
-I can't believe.

-I missed the baby kicking.
-No. Shush, shush.

-I'm sorry, I'm so useless.
-Babe, this is gonna have to
stop.

-The baby kicked.
-Aw.

-Felt like wind.
-Perhaps, it was wind?

It's entirely possible.

We're going out.

-Do you want me to go?
-Uh, finish your food.

It was nice.

Aw! Bugger me! These boobs, man.

They're so big and
tender.

- We ready?
- Yep.

-What's wrong?
-Boobs. They kill.

Aw. Poor darling.

-Yeah.
-Oh!

- Yeah?
- That's nice.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah. Mm.

Oh, that's better.
Bye, John.

So, you're in your safe space

and you can feel the warm water
lapping against your ankles.

- And your digestive
system...
- Alex, I need to show you
something.

- What?
- My-- My penis.

-Yeah, I'm set. Thanks.
-Wait, wait.

Please, it'll take two minutes.

Your membranes give away.
You're dealing with the-- Hi,
guys!

- Hello. How're you?
All right?
- Hi, Olivia.

Yeah, you're a tiny
bit late,
Allison.

I'm really worried. Be a friend.

- You can feel yourself moving...
-C'mon!

-I did my 96er on you.
-I don't wanna remember
anything, okay?

All my best moves wasted on a
lezza.

- Throughout history...
- All right, two minutes. C'mon.

...give birth. You feel your
vagina
give way.

You can feel that baby weighing
down
on your perineum.

And the urge to shit it out
is now overwhelming you.

-It's orange.
-Am I gonna die?

So, we're gonna do some
exercises now
to stretch the internal
abdominal muscles.

But it's quite absorbing.
I don't really want to be
interrupted.

-Do you know where your
"people" are?
-Oh, yes, yes. Sorry. I'll just
check.

Leave that there.

And how does that feel?
Does it feel good?

Oh, it's definitely
swollen.

-Oh!
-Oh, God! No, no, no.

-Oh.
-Now, it's John's John.

-Just look at it, babe.
-What?

Can cancer be orange?

Oh!

Oh!

Is that fake tan?

Oh!

Sorry to interrupt.

I've gotta say, you guys, I am
starting
to wonder whether this...

arrangement situation...
life choice thing is altogether
healthy.

Amy... so sorry. Please ignore
us.

I promise you. We are all
perfectly normal
and healthy.

-Is it bleeding? Am I bleeding?
-You are.

Take that and get out.

Please.

Yeah, all of you. Thanks.

Olivia.

Yes?

I'll make this up to you. I
promise.

Just don't masturbate in our
house again.

-That's all I ask.
-Yep.

I most definitely probably
won't.

Surprise!
I bought you a yoga teacher.

-Just for an hour.
-Or two.

Maybe.

Cheers, John.

Alex!

Cheers, John.

Well, it's jolly nice to
meet you.

-I love Alex like a sister.
-Have you ever been with a man?

Why'd you ask that?

I just thought it might run in
the family.
I had a small bet with myself,
actually.

Oh, right. I see.
Well, I take it one of you lost?

Jury's still out.

It was Alex's idea. Get mad at
her.

She wants you to spend more time
with her bestie.

She did not call you her bestie.

Isn't pregnancy making her
nicer?

Did you call John your bestie?

Huh? I can't hear you. Talk to
John.

I do hope, Olivia and he'll get
on today.
He's a sweet guy underneath.

Underneath what? His trousers?

-Michael, really?
-No. That's cool. It is kinda
confusing.

-Oh, is it? So, you're confused?
-No, I mean, to the outside.

Someone once said that, sexual
orientation
goes beyond the act of sex and--

Well, I think that makes sense
for what happened with me and
John.

So you're--
You're really straight
underneath.

No, I'm gay. I just did
something that
wasn't necessarily about my
sexuality.

Do you mind if I use that excuse
sometime, love?

My friends say I'm like a gay
man
trapped in a woman's body.

We should go shopping sometime.
We'd have a right laugh.

Yes, I'm sure we would have a
laugh,
but not 'cause I'm gay. I'm
straight.

Oh, yeah. I'm not making any
insinuation,

I'm just saying if you did
happen
to be gay.

And you are short of a diva.
I do know all the moves to
"Vogue."

-I have a wife. And kids.
-And a bit of a lisp.

I'm just saying.

So, did we bond?

You're not going to go that
angry puce
shade whenever I'm needed?

Aw, says the man with the tango
penis.

You've done enough. Thanks.

-What do you mean?
-Maybe, you need to give Alex
some space.

Is that what Alex wants?

Yeah.

I think she's being kind
because she thinks you're
lonely.

-She said that?
-Yeah.

Why am I asking you, I'll ask
her.
Hey, Al.

Oh, no.

-What was that for?
-It was an accident.

Oh, no.

God, poor chap. He's soaked.

Does that turn you on?

Hello, you two. Where did you
come from?

Where's your mommy?

Where's your mum--
What?

Would you like some chocolate?

Now since you're both so
sweet...

I'm going to give one to you...

and one to you. There you go!
Is that nice?

Okay. Um, you both stop. Stop
it.

Um, do you want to put that--
Put the cucumber back.

- Could you stop that? Do you
want--

Maybe just-- I don't-- I don't
know.
Where's your mum--

- Okay, stop that.
- Sam!

Stop that!

Pick this up.

What? I know! I'm a terrible
mother.
You-- Oh, my God!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I just-- I gave him some
chocolate
and then he, um, but then I ran
out.

God! He's gonna be up for days.
Fuck!

Okay, she's squashing the mush--
stamping on the mushrooms there.

Right. I'll pay for this. Don't
worry.
So sorry.

-My fault. Um, they're lovely.
-What're you having?

Hope it's a girl. Because girls
never turn psycho and shoot up
schools.

And you know little boys,
they pee on your face...

every time you change their
nappy.

And we've demonized any kind
of light spanking

so that playing card's off the
table.

You know, I thought some-- The
last month
of pregnancy,

when my pelvis was splitting
open,

and I was hobbling around on
crutches.
It was hell. But um...

But then I had Sam.

I'm having a boy.

-Bugger.
-Thank you.

-Well. At least, you're young.
-I'm 40.

I'd say I'm
sorry,
but, um...

you've actually made me feel
less alone.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

I used to be pretty like you.

Great. Okay.

-Good luck.
-C'mon, Sam!

C'mon, darling, let's get your
brother.
Sam!

Sam!

-You into sports?
-Yes!

-Great!
-Chess!

I know why I'm here.

Oh, um, yes.
Olivia thought we might get on.

And she wants to stop me trying
to steal her girlfriend.

-That's it exactly, actually,
yeah.
-I'm even throwing her a baby
shower.

Maybe you should throw yourself
a cold shower.

How about we ease this situation
by getting hammered?

Fuck, yes.

Alex, they need boundaries
or they will destroy everything.

-They're just a couple of kids.
-Okay, so don't-- Please. Sorry.

Should we-- should we just agree
to disagree about the whole...

Parenting bit?

We've got plenty of time.

We'll be fine.
Besides, we're not gonna be
alone.

We've got John.

-God, you're sexy.
-Yeah.

No wonder you turned a gay
woman straight.

I wonder if my wife's being gay
somewhere.

-Hey! What's up, man?
-She left me.

Age-- ages ago.

No reason. Just that I dry her
entire
being up like a prune.

No! They just do it to annoy
you.
Ha-ha! We're in our little
girly club,

and you can't join because
of your stupid penis.

Well, my penis is not stupid.

I used to pound her steak just
the way
she liked it till it was extra
thin.

And in return she...

pounded my heart till it
disappeared.

My penis is not stupid.

-Oh, God. Sorry, sorry.
-It's okay.

-Hang on!
-Okay.

Okay, okay.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

-What happened? Oh, gosh!
-Oh, gosh!

All right. Let's just--
Let's just leave it, babe.

I need to go for a piss, okay?

-Really?
-Yeah.

Isn't it a bit late in the day
for a shower?

The baby waiters had
a month's waiting list.

I know this
because the shower planner told
me.

I shit you not. The shower
planner.

Are you about to be sick?

I literally haven't slept in
three days,

so I don't know
if I'm gonna puke or pass out.

I'd go for the former.

-These floors look pretty solid.
-Got it!

Well, hello.
Fancy finding you
here.

No! No, this isn't-- We're not--
I'm just standing here.

I meant Alex's baby shower.

-The girl you love like a
sister.
-Yes. Yeah, I know. I just--

I was just making conversation.

-Oh, my gosh! You're pregnant,
too. Aw.
-Oh, my gosh!

How did you guess?

You've got a little bit of sick
in your hair.

I know.

-I know. I put it in there.
-Oh!

'Cause it's good for the
natural protein
fiber oils.

- Oh!
- Yeah.

John and Alex have such
fascinating friends.

What did you call them?

John and Alex.

It's not John and Alex. It is
John...

and...

-Alex.
-That's what I said.

-John and Alex--
-No, you didn't.

'Cause you're saying it
like they're together,

putting them in a sentence
together.
They don't belong in a sentence
together.

I'm sorry.

-It's okay.
-I'm sorry, who are you?

-Olivia! I'm Olivia.
-Ah! Yeah.

Olivia and Alex.

-Al and Ol?
-We're just so used to...

- John and Alex.
- Yeah.

-Who are you?
-Uh, Luke Hammond.

-Oh!
-CEO of Mannism. Hail to the
Alpha.

I'm gonna need to pop back in
for another puke.

Sure.

-Mother.
-There you go.

Right.

Condoms. A massive box of
condoms.

Well, I never make the same
mistake twice.

I make it five or six times
just to be sure...

Moving on.

All right, let's have
another
family present.

-Here's mine.
-Thank you, John-O.

Oh!

Oh!

John.

It's a first edition.

I know that our baby is going
to open my eyes to the world,

in as many varied and wonderful
ways
as you have.

Aw.

-Thanks.
-To John and Alex.

- To John and Alex.
- Thank you from both of us.

-It's very kind.
-Sorry, John?

-What was that?
-It's very kind of everyone.

No, before.

-What you said before?
-Thank you from both of us.

Since when do you speak on
Alex's behalf?

- Uh, okay, Olivia.
- Huh?

I just asked a question.
It's a very simple question.

I just wanna know,
when I am conversing with my
girlfriend,

if I should be addressing you?

Hello! I'm still here. Remember
me?

You enjoying your fetus shaped
cookies?

- Just calm down, will ya?
- Oh, calm down.

No, John. No.

You don't tell me to calm down.

-Easy.
-Shut. The fuck. Up!

Babe?

-Not now, babe.
-If not now, then when? When?

Can I tell this mindless human
being
to back off?

How about when we realize that
our child

is being raised on the
misogynistic values
of Mannism?

Or, what about when we-- Mm-hmm.
When I have to buy a bigger
house

because John wants to move in.

Um, we should let him because
he's lonely
and divorced.

-And after all, he's the real
father.
-Stop it, Olivia. He's trying.

Am I just supposed to forget
that he's the one you cheated
with.

C'mon! She didn't.

What is this? Alex?

You're gay. But then you're
straight.
Then you're gay again.

Oh, and apparently, you're
pregnant woman
of the year!

I'm ti-- I just can't keep up.

I really can't.
At some point, you have to
choose.

No, I don't.

You are supposed to love all of
it.

I'm sorry I don't fit
into your tight knit plans.

Those plans were always about
you.

All I ever wanted was to give
you
a proper family.

Yeah. The perfect family, yeah?
Like Ben's?

Ben, who is getting divorced.

What?

Hello. Yes.

I'm the one with a failed
marriage.

-Glad everyone's been made
aware.
-Shocker.

Everyone's got their shit,
Olivia, right?

-Alex, what is it?
-I think you should leave,
Olivia.

-She doesn't have to leave.
-Okay, so I misjudged that.

-Oh! I think I'm having a
contraction.
-Okay, it's fine. She's too
early.

-She's not having a contraction.
-I'm sure it's a contraction.

- It's not gonna be a
contraction.

-Fuck!
-We could, of course, be wrong.

Doctor Parks.

Oh hey, doc. We got a lot of
snot
coming out of this one's hoo-ha.

I wanted to be a concert
pianist.

All right. We'll get the nurse
to set you up.

-Who's coming?
-I am.

-Right take that!
-Yep, yep. All right, be
careful.

Oh!

Okay, I'll just-- I'll be here.

Right then.

Oh!

Baby's very low down in your
pelvis.
Which is good.

I'm just gonna have a little
listen.

I can't find...

Well, let me just get Doctor
Parks.

It's all fine. It's going to be
fine.

-Just let him out there know,
okay?
-Okay.

-You all right?
-Mm-hmm.

-You sure?
-Mm-hmm.

- John.
- What's happening?

We don't know.
They've gone to get the doctor.

Why, what's wrong?

-Should I speak to someone?
-I think...

it was trouble finding the
heartbeat
but it's already quite far down.

-There's contractions, so--
-So, you wouldn't be able to
find it.

-Right.
-Okay.

She will be fine.

Yeah.

Um, okay.

- Miss Jones?
- Hi.

Oh!

I'm so sorry.

There's no heartbeat. I'm so
sorry.

What? Wait, wait.

-Are you sure? Could you try it
again?
-No heartbeat was detected. I'm
certain.

How are you certain?
Maybe, you made a mistake.

Most--

Most commonly, an infection has
occurred.
We'll do further tests.

I know this is hard.

But I'm afraid we have to think
of Miss Jones' safety.

Now, and the safest step now
is to deliver this baby.

Plea-- Please could you-- could
you just
do it one more time for us?

Just one more time again.

I'm so sorry.

She's gone.

She?

Could you give us a minute?

- Babe?
- Yes, I'm here.

I don't want you here.

I don't want this in anyone's
memory.
I just want to get it done.

-Are you sure?
-Please.

"Seldom, except in books,
do the dying utter memorable
words,

see visions, or depart
with beatified countenances...

and those who have sped
many parting souls know

that to most the end comes
as naturally and simply as
sleep.

As Beth had hoped,
the tide went out easily...

and in the dark hour before the
dawn...

on the bosom where she
had drawn her first breath...

she quietly drew her last.

With no farewell but one loving
look...

one little sigh."

Look, I know you're probably
gonna wanna talk about it...

about her.

But you see, I can't.

I don't know if I'll ever be
able to.

I was so looking forward
to being something.

Anything.

-Is John okay?
-Uh...

When he cries...

his entire body crumples up
like a little old lady's.

That's funny.

-It's not.
-No.

I actually saw him this morning.

I can't help waddling...

about, reminding him-- Sorry.

Maybe, it's best if you keep
your distance from him a bit.

Right. Okay.

We could go to my parents', I
suppose.

Or you can go if you want.

Darling!

- We're going to have such fun.
- Oh!

Daddy's birthday party's coming
up.
I've invited that Biggles
Tilsbury.

-I've got such a girl crush on
her.
-You can just say crush, Mummy.

-Anyway, I shouldn't be here
for long.
-You can stay here as long as
you like.

We really are fine.

I think it's time you started
thinking
about this baby other than that
girl.

Don't you?

Hello!

Oh, look. John's sporting a man
bun,
the final tosser frontier.

He's a handsome devil.

Sorry, darling.

Oh, look! Biggles Tilsbury just
got here.
You two would make a lovely
couple.

Thanks, Mummy. I still have a
girlfriend.

- Where's Magda and the girls
then?

Oh, um, she took the kids
on a weekend away.

Isn't that a bit odd, going on
holiday
without your husband?

-Um...
-Not at all, actually. No, um...

-Trudy leaves Sting behind all
the time.
-Does she now?

-Bully for her.
-Hmm.

This is organic Hereford
blackcurrant vodka.

And this is the coolest old
person party
I have ever seen.

I better not.

Alex, an international playboy
once said,
"To drink is to live".

And that international playboy
was me!

Yeah, Alex. What you got to
lose?

Just one shot.

Hmm.

- Very nice to see you.
- Whatto!

Oh! Sorry.

-Biggles, how are you? Very
long time.
-Very long time, yeah.

The last thing I remember was
running
around your garden naked.

Oh!

-So, last week then?
-No, no. We were five.

Yes, no. I was joking.

Oh, right. Yeah, I know,
'cause wouldn't have been last
week.

-No.
-Wouldn't have been naked.

Aren't you a bit old to be
having a baby?

-Uh, I guess not.
-Ah! Well, I do hope it's
normal.

Thank you.

Most kind. Ben.

Come over. Biggles, do you
remember Ben?
This is my brother.

-Uh, vaguely.
-You babysat me through
childhood.

-Oh!
-We went to the same school

and then university.

Ben? Whose wife is a rampant
shagger?

Yep. That Ben.

You used to wet the bed, didn't
you?

Get up!

Hi!

Alex.

Hey.

You weren't just going to
leave, were you?

No. I just needed a moment away
from it all.

You've been drinking.

-Yeah! I'm allowed now,
remember?
-I know. I--

I wasn't saying...

-Did you not get the invite?
-Yeah. I'm...

stood right here.

Well, what part of "garden chic"
do hot pants fit under?

I don't know. Is there
a I-don't-give-a-fuck option?

Yeah, okay.

Alex, can we try and get back
to normal?
Please?

Maybe, less of the swearing,
smoking,
boozing?

More of the early nights, yoga?

So, I can be a good mum
to my non-existent child, is
that it?

No. So you can be a good mother
to mine.
For ours.

-I need more time.
-We don't have any more time,
Alex.

Please.

We need you.

I can't be everything you want
me
to be right now. I'm so sorry.

This feels like something has
broken.

-It's just changed.
-No.

I shouldn't feel so lost when
I'm where
I always wanted to be.

Olivia!

Should I go?

Olivia?

Wow!

-Has she even seen this?
-No.

Why is it yellow? She's having
a boy.

And what if it was a boy that
wanted
to be a girl, Jonathan?

Yeah, all right.

All right. I'm a middle class,
straight,
white guy and I suck, sorry.

To teach is to learn yourself.
It's a noble and inspiring
profession.

Good.

-And Miss Jones?
-What?

Um...

I guess if I'm a teacher
then I won't be some wired
artist,

desperate for her next joint.

I'll be normal. Be part of the
race.

That sounds quite nice, now.

And yeah, what she said.

-Whatto.
-Hello, Biggles.

Bought the backgammon. Bit of
competition
should help get that baby out.

Oh, yay!

-John, what on earth are you
doing here?
-Hold the door. I have to talk
to you.

-Who's this?
-Biggles Tilsbury. How do you
do?

That is such a stupid name.

No offence. You should be a dog
in a handbag, in like, 2001.

-Goodbye, John.
-I have to talk to you.

-We're busy.
-It's Alex.

-What's wrong with Alex?
-Do you like my bun?

-I don't have time for this,
John.
-No. But, yet, you never have
time.

I've lost the love of my life,
I'm 40 and I live with my
parents

and I'm about to shit out
another human being.

Have you got a point in this
conversation?

Or in life?

Boo-fucking-hoo!

You know what you may not know,
Olivia?

I was born with scoliosis.

I had a back
brace

right through school
to straighten things out.

-Okay.
-I know.

You're thinking, "But how he's
so tall
and Greek-God like?

Well, that was not the case
back then.
I was twisted like a pretzel.

The other boys used to hang me
by my brace from the football
goal net

and then kick balls at my head.

-Oh!
-Right at my head.

-Gosh!
-Yup. And these were Scottish
boys, not...

ya Harry Potter, posh, wee,
skinny things.
These are real proper men,

kicking balls, right at my head.

And then, they'd leave me there.

All night, sometimes.
I just-- I'd swing about a bit.

Come crashing down.
Mess up my back some more.

-Sounds painful.
-Oh, yep.

Oh, yeah.

Then now... I'm the one causing
the pain.

Breaking the ladies' heart.
Left, right, center, So...

I can get anyone I want.

You know who I couldn't get?

Okay, well...

Technically, you did get Alex,

so I don't know
if this little story is really
working.

No, all I got Alex was blind
drunk.

I've loved her since I first
saw her.

Since she shouted at me for
directing
the Jehovah's witness' to your
door.

To me, she was it.

And it...

loves only you.

Alex is...

100% bona fide carpet muncher...

and your carpet...

is the only one...

she wants to munch.

That was very sweet for about a
second.

You know, she redecorated
the spare room...

for the baby.

I didn't know that.

-I was just so scared.
-I know you were. I was too.

I really wanted to be a dad.

Could you settle for uncle?

-C'mon.
-John, wait.

Wait, John. John, John, John,
John, John.
I'm not just--

John, please. I can feel your
beard.

-Darling, where you're going?
-I'm going home.

-Are you trying to run?
-Yeah.

- That is the general idea.
-Why?

It just feels like a...
running kind of moment.

She's going to get the love of
her,
and my life.

- Really?
- Sounds complicated.

That tummy rather kills romance
doesn't it, darling?

Ah! Yes.

It does. It does.

Thank you, Mummy.

-Cup of tea before you go?
-I mean, we probably have time.

John!

It is a toe ring but I'm gonna
get you
a proper ring.

Alex...

I want to marry you.

Because I do love it all.

If you're a stoner,
or an artist or...

a bloody astronaut. I don't
care.
You're you.

You're so kind, and so great,
and just... Just...

You're just a great person, Alex
and obviously,

by the way, you're so much
better
than an astronaut.

And-- But actually, you're
better
than anyone I can think of,

so I'm going to stop waffling
and beg you. Alex...

please be with me forever.

- "You're better than an
astronaut?"

I'm still not that great
at proposing or...

-to be fair, that great at any
of it.
-I don't think either of us are.

-What?
-I think I've just burst.

- John!
- He's in the car.

'Course, he is.

-Go slow, go slow, go slow.
-Breathe.

I'll just be here.

You don't have to come.

I know.

Right, Miss Miller, let's prove
geriatrics
can still have kids, okay?

That's my joke.

Right. I do not want to be down
here
for too long so c'mon now, push!

-Cake, you two?
-We've already had a ton of
cake.

Right.
This one is without the hash.

Cake?

-No, thank you.
-Beats the office, eh, Charles?

-Too bloody hot in here.
-Or not.

Ben, will you please have some
of our mother's cake?

I actually think masculinity
is overrated, personally. Thank
you.

Thank you.

Hello, my sweet boy.

Upsy-daisy.

Some days, I'm a good
mother.

Some days, I'm a bit of a crap
one.

How was your first
Christmas, eh?

Alex and I never did
get married.

After everything that had
happened,
it didn't seem important.

It's no longer about all those
labels.

I'm simply about you, me and
him.

Your mammalian roots...

okay? Just have some respect
for those.

Has anyone ever seen
an elephant give birth?

No? Oh, you have to see that,
that's amazing.

Has anyone seen a chimpanzee
give birth?

No? Has anyone seen, like, a
family pet?

-Or...
-Yeah.

Uh, gerbil.

John?
Seriously, John?

This is part of the problem.
We are so disconnected

from our natural history.

That we believe that birth is
not for us
but you know everybody,

everybody eats, everybody
shits...

-What was that for?
-It was an accident.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. The baby. The baby. The
baby.
The baby. The baby. The baby.
The baby.

The baby. The baby. The baby.
The baby.
No! No!

Bit of a handful, I'd imagine.

- Would you consider divorce
or...
- Um...

Yeah,
probably don't wanna talk about
it...

like here... with you...

One of those open
relationships, is it?

-So nice to catch up.
-It really is. What a-- What a
treat.

To see you and it--
Just you...

Um, just--

I think I've got a ladybird in
my ear.

-That's it. Um. Um, yeah, yeah.
-Oh!

- Cut!
- Sorry.

I actively hope that baby's not
mine.
I will punch you right in the
boob.

You make me sick.

Please say cut!

Look, babe!

Look!

I'm sorry to interrupt.

What's happening? I want a part
of this. This looks like fun.

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