Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,440
'I tell you what, Kerry,
3
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,360
'there are some days I wish
you'd never been born, and... '
4
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,200
Basically, Kerry's mum
5
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,680
got a massive electricity bill
6
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,120
and she reckons
it's cos of Kerry's PlayStation.
7
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,120
So she's threatening to
give it away to the Ethiopians.
8
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,720
Oh, fuck off!
9
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,920
What are they going to do
with a PlayStation? Eat it?!
10
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,280
Yeah, well, why don't you get
a job as a Meatloaf tribute act?
11
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,480
Oh!
12
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,000
That's who she looks like!
13
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:51,680
Fuck.
14
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,960
That's your PlayStation
she just smashed.
15
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,680
I saw that can of Tango
you dumped on the corner...
16
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,520
Oh, shut up. Shut up, then.
17
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,320
Go home, mate. ..disgusting.
18
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,760
'Yes, sadly, there aren't
a lot of job opportunities
19
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,960
'for young people in the village.'
20
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,720
Kerry and Kurtan, neither of them
have worked since leaving
21
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,320
school, which means they've got
a lot of time on their hands.
22
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,880
Which is definitely
not a good thing.
23
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,720
Change your fucking trousers, mate.
They stink.
24
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:24,800
That's charming.
25
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,160
So, basically, there's a talk in
the village hall today, with this
26
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,760
really strong businesswoman
called Shaz.
27
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,000
And she's going to teach me
how to make an absolute shitload.
28
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,040
It was wanted by a poltergeist.
29
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,880
I'm going to be just so rich.
30
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,040
I'm going to build a helipad on top
of my mum's house and land on it
31
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,920
in a little copter.
32
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,600
And then I'm going to say to my mum,
33
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,160
"Oh, hi, Mum. How are you doing?"
34
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,040
And she'll be like,
"Oh, Kerry, I'm so sad.
35
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,240
"I...I'm so sad what I did to you.
36
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,960
"It was so disgusting
and I'm such a vile pig."
37
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,960
And I'll be like, "I'm so sorry,
but I can't have this conversation,
38
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,200
"cos I've got
to go on Dragons' Den,
39
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,320
"cos we're filming it
in five minutes."
40
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,560
Will I be there?
41
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,920
Yeah.
42
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,200
What we going to do on it?
43
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,960
No, we're the, we're the judges.
44
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,800
We'll be sat on a seat, like,
with Deborah Meaden and that.
45
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,920
My life did not get off
to the best of starts.
46
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:30,960
I was a single mother
with no qualifications,
47
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,040
no job and struggling
to make ends meet.
48
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,840
And then, one day,
I caught myself looking at
49
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,040
a reflection of myself and I said,
50
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,200
"What is up with you, Shaz?
51
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,040
"You used to be so bubbly..."
Oh... Kerr? Yeah?
52
00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:43,840
She keeps guffing. Who?
53
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,600
Her - farty pants.
54
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,360
Shh! ..I had a sachet of that stuff
and I never looked back.
55
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,360
So I said, hang about, let me
get this straight - if I become
56
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,000
an Eternal Vitality sales rep,
I can earn £15,000 a month?
57
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,280
I can work from home, I can be my
own boss... This is just quite
boring isn't it, Kerry?
58
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,640
..and the start-up pack's
only £200... Kerr? What?
59
00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,320
Boring, isn't it? No, it's not.
60
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,480
All of your dreams, guys,
can come true.
61
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:11,040
Just as long as you've got
that £200 start-up fee, OK?
62
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,120
Yes?
63
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,200
What if you don't have
the 200 quid, though, Miss?
64
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,720
Miss!
65
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,680
Yeah, that's a very, very good
question.
66
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,800
What's your name, darling?
67
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,440
Kerry. Hi, Kerry.
68
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,000
What if I was to say to you,
darling,
69
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,280
"You're dying, Kerry,
and the tablets you need
70
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,680
"to stop you from dying
are going to cost you £200."
71
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,880
What would you do then? Hmm?
72
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,360
You'd beg. You'd steal.
You'd borrow.
73
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:35,600
You'd find that money.
Next question, please. Yes?
74
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,320
I did a similar thing selling
Tupperware, and it turned out
75
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,920
to be a pyramid scheme.
76
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,040
OK, no, no, no, no, no.
Bless you.
77
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,480
This is not a pyramid scheme, OK?
78
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,920
This is a multi-level
management scheme -
79
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,440
two very different things,
as you can see here, in the slide.
80
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,320
Multilevel management...
You just got owned.
81
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,880
..all coming together
to form one legal scheme.
82
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,520
Is that clearer for you?
83
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:01,320
Er, so Kerry's just asking Shaz
ways of how we can raise up
84
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,680
the money for the start-up pack.
85
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,080
Very rude man!
86
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:06,800
Very rude!
87
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:10,680
What?
88
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,080
How was I being rude then?
89
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,000
I wasn't being rude, was I?
Right, come on.
90
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,040
You would not believe
what June just did to me then,
what just happened.
91
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,320
She just came up to me, jabbing
her finger in my face, going,
92
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,040
"Very rude man", like that.
93
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,680
So, right, Shaz has given us
loads of ideas of what we
94
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,320
need to do, so we really need to
start cracking on with it now.
All I've ever been is nice to her!
95
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,360
Daft cow.
96
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,800
Shaz told me, to raise the start-up
fee money, we should just
97
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,000
flog all our old shit, which is
exactly what we're doing.
98
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,080
I reckon we'll make
that 200 quid in about half hour.
99
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,080
Oh, Warhammer.
100
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:03,760
Go on, rummage through.
101
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,680
I wondered...how much...?
102
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,600
Standard-bearer. Er...
103
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,640
Yeah?
104
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,840
Don't know, really. I suppose the
Snotlings will all come together.
105
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,280
As you can probably tell, I went
through a serious Snotling phase.
106
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,760
And there's a few chaos bugs
in there as well.
107
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,720
So I've got my orcs here, yeah?
Yeah.
108
00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,320
Wastelands are there. Yeah.
109
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:25,920
And we're heading straight for them.
110
00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,520
No. See, you can't use orcs
to seize the wastelands.
111
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:29,800
It's practically suicide.
112
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,480
Oh, my God,
can you lot just shut up?
113
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,280
Honestly, it's embarrassing.
114
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,240
Kurtan is a fucking nerd.
115
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,400
About three years ago,
he started his own Emmerdale blog
116
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,800
where he picks apart
all the production gaffes.
117
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,600
And he's got a chart on the wall,
118
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,000
which he ticks off every time
he sees a reflection of a boom.
119
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:52,240
And I honestly am ashamed
to know him, sometimes.
120
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,200
Do you know what? It's been an
absolute, utter pleasure meeting you
two gents today.
121
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,760
Well, because Deputy Dickhead
over here didn't want
to sell his Star Wars...
122
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,520
Warhammer. ..the yard sale
was an utter disaster.
123
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,040
But Shaz said money trees
don't grow on trees.
124
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,720
You've got to buy the money tree.
125
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,400
And if you can't afford
to buy a money tree,
126
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,240
you just borrow off
someone else's money tree.
127
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,200
So you've got a money tree loan out.
Yeah.
128
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,960
But I'm going to be making
15 grand a month, basic,
129
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,360
so I'll be laughing.
130
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,680
Yes, the interest rate
on that loan is very high,
131
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,880
but my overheads are low, see?
132
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,120
Because I'm working out
of my mum's shed,
133
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,960
and I have zero staff costs, because
I'm not going to be paying Kurtan.
134
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,360
But don't tell him that.
135
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:38,920
Oh...
136
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,400
Can't wait to try this one, Kerr -
137
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,720
apple and wheatgrass.
138
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,680
Look at how good this looks, Kerr.
139
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,640
This'll be so good for me, innit?
Yeah. This sweet nectar.
140
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,720
How is it?
141
00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,360
You all right?
142
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,520
Yeah.
143
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,600
Just, I could really taste
the grass.
144
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,760
I feel better already.
Do you? Really? Yeah, it's weird.
145
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,800
Do you really? Yeah.
146
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,480
In what way?
Does my skin look any different?
147
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,320
It's... Glowing? Yeah, it's glowing
a bit more, yeah. Is it glowing?
148
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,040
I... That's enough now.
149
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,080
That's enough.
150
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,600
Right, have you learned the script?
151
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,040
What script?
152
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,800
Are you joking?
You are joking, right?
153
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,200
Yeah. The script I gave you.
Right, OK. Well, read it to me now.
154
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,240
Hello.
155
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,760
Hello what?
156
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,320
Sir. You haven't learned it,
have you?
157
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,360
No.
158
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,280
My attitude towards business is
sell, sell, sell.
159
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,760
If you knock on someone's door,
this is what Shaz told me,
160
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,680
don't take no for an answer.
161
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:43,760
Get into their house.
162
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,000
If they say, "Leave my house", stay.
163
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,880
And if they say,
"I'm going to call the police",
164
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,080
you walk upstairs and see if there's
anybody else upstairs to sell to.
165
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,520
What do I make of Kerry
the businesswoman?
166
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:55,040
Have you seen the state of her?
167
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,960
What does she think she looks like
in that suit, honestly?
168
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,440
She looks like Uncle Fester.
169
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,080
I take one look in the mirror
in this suit
170
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,320
and I feel proud.
171
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,800
I used to just dressed in rags.
172
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,320
Now I really feel like I've made it.
173
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,160
Can't see her neck.
Where's her neck gone?
174
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,080
Hello, madam. Me and my colleague
here, from Eternal Vitality...
175
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,920
Right. I'm going to piss in
their flowers, then. No, come on.
176
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,400
What are you two after?
177
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:41,480
Hello, sir.
178
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,440
Me and my colleague here are
from Eternal Vitality Juicing -
179
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,440
a company that offers a wide range
of health boosting juices -
180
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:51,160
and just wondered if we could borrow
a few minutes of your time.
181
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,640
Year, I've got a few minutes.
182
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,920
Eternal Vitality juices slowly
release vitamins throughout
183
00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:00,400
your body all day,
giving you extra energy...
184
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,280
And then me wife died
on the Thursday.
185
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,840
(Oh, God.)
186
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,960
And me brother died
on the Saturday.
187
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,240
And then, me stepson rang me up,
and he said, "Dad,
188
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,280
"I've found a lump."
189
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,480
So that was him gone.
190
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,560
Grandson dead, stepdaughter dead,
191
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,240
and that bastard only got three
years and a slap on the wrist.
192
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,520
Oh, OK, well,
thank you so much for your time,
193
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,960
and we're really sorry that...
And then they rung up from
the hospital, and they said,
194
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,000
"Could you get down here now,
195
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,240
"cos they're draining the fluid out
your sister's spine?"
196
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,240
"Heart disease", he said.
197
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,040
And I never smoked
a single fag in me life.
198
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,240
Kurtan...
199
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,320
And the doctor, he just shrugged
at me like this, look.
200
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,920
Aye, like this.
201
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,480
Yeah. He just shrugged.
202
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,880
Sorry, are you going to actually
buy something today?
203
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,280
Eh? Are you going to buy
something today?
204
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,840
God, no.
205
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,800
OK...
206
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,800
Thank you very much for your time.
207
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,760
That's all right.
208
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:03,720
Enjoyed it.
209
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,080
See you. Bye.
210
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,040
So, I've let Kurtan
take the lead on this one,
211
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,640
because, basically,
he's just not engaging enough.
212
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,240
And he needs to build up
his confidence, because, honestly,
213
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,120
I'd be better off carrying around
a sad sack of shite with me.
214
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,440
How long do you reckon
he's been in there for?
215
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,920
Must be like 20 minutes.
216
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,560
I reckon he's selling loads.
217
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,560
Hello?
218
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:53,760
Hello?
219
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,680
Hello, Kurtan?
220
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,200
Do you need any more stock?
221
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,240
Kurtan? Four, five, six...
222
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,320
Oh...
223
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,480
Forgot you was outside.
224
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,280
Utterly unprofessional!
225
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,320
Seriously!
226
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,560
It's your go, innit?
Yeah, it's your go. Yeah.
227
00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,600
My guide to managing a team is
pretty simple, really.
228
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,680
Make the underlings...
229
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,480
feel like shit, because
230
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:21,960
you're the big boss.
231
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,400
Take up the space.
232
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,160
It's like a bull in a field.
233
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,640
There can't be too many bulls,
234
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,080
because they'll ruin it.
235
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,640
Look, if you don't want to be
involved in this business,
236
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,320
then, seriously,
just don't be involved.
237
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,360
Is that all right?
238
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,080
The fuck, Kurtan?!
239
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,120
Seriously!
240
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,840
I thought we were doing this
together! It's just...
241
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,920
Thing is, OK,
it's just so much effort.
242
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,120
Yeah, cos you're not pulling
your weight, to be honest.
243
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,840
That's why it's so much effort.
PHONE RINGS
244
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,320
It's actually more effort for me...
245
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,640
And we're in a business meeting -
246
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,080
why do you think it's OK to
get your phone out? Who is that?
247
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,120
No-one.
248
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,480
What did they say that's so funny,
then? You wouldn't get it.
249
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,200
I would get it. You wouldn't.
I would get it.
250
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,360
All right, then. He said,
251
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,960
"That awkward moment when an Orc
lord asks you for a clack handle."
252
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,880
You don't get it, do you?
253
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,680
Right. I want these delivered...
254
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,240
to every house in the village,
tonight.
255
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,280
I mean it.
256
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,680
And stop with the attitude as well.
257
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,160
Thing is, I don't know
what you actually do.
258
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,080
Business.
259
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,440
I've really...
260
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,800
..really had it today.
261
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,200
And she was like,
262
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,960
"Oh, you've got to hand out
all these leaflets by tonight."
263
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,880
And I was like,
"Whatever, Orc-slammer.
264
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,200
Kiss my arse.
Oh, my God, you can't do that!
265
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,600
Mental! Can do what I want.
266
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,640
Watch this, then.
267
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,800
BOY LAUGHS
268
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,160
Parkour.
269
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,640
I can't do that.
270
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,120
Yeah, it's nice having new mates,
to be honest.
271
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,360
Not being bossed around
by Baron Greenback.
272
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,560
It's great, as well,
cos they're proper lads.
273
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,880
And, honestly,
when we lot get together,
274
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,480
we are proper mad bastards.
275
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,920
Oh, my God! Did you see the look
on the vicar's face then?
276
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,240
He was livid, wasn't he?
Yeah, he was livid.
277
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,760
That was madness, man.
That was...
278
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,080
He was fuming!
279
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,600
When I see them three together,
280
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,440
I think...
281
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,840
we could have another Columbine
on our hands.
282
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,920
And that's very scary.
283
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,200
Look at the clouds -
look how mad they are!
284
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,280
They're crazy.
285
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,480
Don't you just think sometimes -
you look at the clouds
and you just think...
286
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,280
Sometimes you look at the sky
and you think
287
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,400
how insignificant that all is.
Yeah.
288
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,800
Yeah, do this.
289
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,360
Put your hands like that.
290
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,120
Yeah, open them up, look inside.
291
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,480
That's what they actually
look like. Ugh...
292
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:02,200
Look at this stupid bloke here.
Look at him.
293
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,440
Look how stupid he is.
294
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,480
Do you reckon he saw that?
295
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,520
He's coming out!
296
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,640
He's coming! He's coming!
297
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,760
Yeah, he's not coming.
298
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,360
He was going to, though.
299
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,080
He was livid, wasn't he?
300
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,040
Yeah, he was.
301
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,080
Yeah, I was supposed to be
delivering leaflets for Kerry,
302
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,160
but fuck it.
303
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,480
I ain't running round for her
like a blue-arsed fly no more.
304
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,640
And, anyway,
she's promoted Levi above me now.
305
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:41,680
And he's only ten.
306
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,240
And he can't sleep
without a night-light.
307
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,280
So, how'd it go last night?
308
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,080
Yeah, pretty good.
309
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,080
Er, delivered all the leaflets
round all the houses.
310
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,200
Even went down Charlie Bottom Farm,
311
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,360
which was quite a trek,
but I don't mind.
312
00:14:58,360 --> 00:14:59,880
Erm...
313
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,320
Yeah, it's actually
quite surprising how many houses
314
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,280
are in this village, as well.
315
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,800
But, no - it was great, all in all.
316
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,640
Levi, get them pictures up
on your phone.
317
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,120
500 leaflets,
318
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,640
just dumped in the stream.
319
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,320
Have you been here all night? Yeah.
320
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,520
You really need to go home.
321
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,520
Your mum's called the police
and everything.
322
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,320
Are you serious? Yeah.
323
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,680
OK, go home now.
324
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,520
But, if anyone asks,
you fell asleep by accident, OK?
325
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,560
Go home, now.
326
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,280
What was he doing here all night?
Filing.
327
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,240
Do you think I'm going
to get in trouble?
328
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,360
Are those debt letters? No.
329
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,520
And you're fired, by the way.
330
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,280
What? And you're also fired from
being my best mate, by the way.
331
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,480
Well, I have new mates anyway,
by the way.
332
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,760
Oh, what - the nerds?
333
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,680
No. They're not nerds. They have
names like human beings, actually.
334
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,160
Oh, yeah?
What are their names, then?
335
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,960
HE MUMBLES: Count Fartula
and Weak Nathan.
336
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,760
Sorry, I couldn't quite hear that.
Count Fartula and Weak Nathan.
337
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,400
They're honestly not nerds, though.
338
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,720
They're just my mates,
they look up to me.
339
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,600
What, so that makes you
king of the nerds?
340
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,200
Do you know what, yeah?
You're just a bully.
341
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,400
And you've been conned in some
shitty little pyramid scheme.
342
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,600
Well, it's a multilevel management
scheme, so get it right.
343
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,000
And the juice tastes like ass.
No, it doesn't. Yes, it does.
344
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,520
No, it doesn't.
Drink some now, then.
345
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,640
No, because I'm not thirsty,
so what's the point?
346
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,880
That's cos you know
it tastes like ass. No.
347
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,080
It is! Drink some now.
348
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,600
If you believe in this business
so much, yeah, you drink some.
349
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,040
I don't mind drinking it.
It doesn't bother me. Excellent.
350
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,080
Now, have some now.
351
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,640
Swallow.
352
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,080
Tastes like ass, doesn't it?
353
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,120
Bleurgh!
354
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,080
That's all I wanted.
I'll see you later.
355
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,360
Embarrassment, you are.
356
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,160
Bleurgh!
357
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,040
Bleurgh!
358
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,000
'In business,
there will always be setbacks.'
359
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,360
I don't drink my own juice,
360
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,680
Fray Bentos doesn't
eat his own pies.
361
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,680
But that's business.
362
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,880
Yes!
363
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:24,240
'I'm not assed about being fired.
364
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,960
'Gives me more time
playing Warhammer.'
365
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,920
Having said that, the lads are
getting a bit annoying now.
366
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,080
Since when have you had
the Forbidden Forest?
367
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,200
Since I bought it off the Troll King
in the last round. Please keep up.
368
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,400
Oh, my God...
369
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,640
They just love playing
by the rules.
370
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,960
Sort of sucks the fun
out of everything.
371
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,600
Do you know what, I don't actually
want to play this any more,
372
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,520
because it is actually
very, very boring.
373
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,880
Erm, hello, Shaz.
374
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,840
Erm, I've left you
a few messages before.
375
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,320
This is Kerry from
the Cotswold area...
376
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,240
'So Shaz's phone ain't working,
which is a bit weird,'
377
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,320
because all I wanted to do
is ask her
378
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,840
how she makes any money
from these juices,
379
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,320
because, at the moment,
I'm losing money
380
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,280
and I can't shift these juices
to man nor beast.
381
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,080
Kurtan, what shall we do now?
382
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,760
I don't know. But which one of you
is breathing so loudly?
383
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:26,480
Because I can't hear myself think.
384
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,440
Sorry, that would be me.
385
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,240
What you saying sorry for?
386
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,040
Why can't you stick up
for yourself, both of you?
387
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,760
BOTH: Sorry.
388
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,480
Do you know what?
389
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,560
I think I'm just going to go
for a bit, and just chill out.
390
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,400
On my own, yeah?
391
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,800
Seriously, what you doing?
Why you following me?
392
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,280
Fuckin' hell, what was I thinking?
393
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,640
They are massive, massive nerds.
394
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,160
Staggering.
395
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,920
I'm ashamed of myself,
that's not usually me,
396
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,960
so don't get the wrong impression.
397
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,360
Normally, I'm beating
those sort of kids up.
398
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,160
All right? Yeah.
399
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,640
Who was that?
400
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,280
No-one.
401
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,560
Monetary loans?
402
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,680
You been crying?
403
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,040
Yeah.
404
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,760
How was your mates?
405
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,560
Not mates with them any more.
406
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,440
Why not?
407
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,320
Cos they're nerds.
408
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:12,800
I did say. I know.
409
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,640
I genuinely think one of them
fancies me as well. Really? Yeah.
410
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:20,760
Look, I think I know how we can
pay your loan off. Yeah? Yeah.
411
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,880
Cos that would be really great.
412
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,760
Honestly, it'll be fine.
413
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,800
A Snotling Pump Wagon,
414
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,120
24 Lizardmen,
415
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,360
32 Orc hammers
416
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,920
and an entire Orc industrial army.
417
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,680
'So, Kurtan very kindly offered
418
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,720
'to sell his Warhammer.
419
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,640
'Unfortunately
it was worth fuck-all,'
420
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,440
but it's fine, because
I've got it all sorted out,
421
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,960
cos I've got out a loan
to repay the first loan
422
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,680
and to also buy a PlayStation.
423
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,400
And if I fall behind
on the repayments of that,
424
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,480
I just get out another loan,
and so forth and so forth.
425
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,440
It's working the system.
426
00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:59,919
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6ycuq
Help other users to choose the best subtitles
32398
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
