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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:07,147 MRS. GUMBLE: Barney, did you finish your milk? 2 00:00:07,147 --> 00:00:08,985 Yes, Ma. (burps) 3 00:00:08,985 --> 00:00:11,657 MRS. GUMBLE: Have fun playing in the gutter! 4 00:00:11,657 --> 00:00:13,493 BARNEY: Anchors aweigh! 5 00:00:13,493 --> 00:00:15,497 (laughing) 6 00:00:15,497 --> 00:00:16,534 It's floating. 7 00:00:16,534 --> 00:00:17,903 It's still floating! 8 00:00:17,903 --> 00:00:21,309 This is fun to me. I love you, paper boat! 9 00:00:21,309 --> 00:00:22,579 (laughs) 10 00:00:22,579 --> 00:00:23,681 Oh, no! 11 00:00:23,681 --> 00:00:25,484 Aw... 12 00:00:26,119 --> 00:00:27,989 -Hiya, Barn. -(gasps) 13 00:00:27,989 --> 00:00:30,093 I'm Krusto, the funniest clown 14 00:00:30,093 --> 00:00:31,964 in the whole wide world. 15 00:00:31,964 --> 00:00:35,505 Uh, people who have to tell you they're funny usually aren't. 16 00:00:35,505 --> 00:00:37,776 Can I get my boat back, sewer clown? 17 00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,078 Why, sure. 18 00:00:39,078 --> 00:00:42,284 Just reach in and take it. 19 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,390 Hmm. (straining) 20 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:49,031 That's right, build the tension. 21 00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:50,602 (growls) 22 00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:51,870 BARNEY: Aah! 23 00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:54,008 Keep the boat! Keep the boat! 24 00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:57,481 Ow! Ow! (screaming) 25 00:00:57,481 --> 00:00:59,485 ♪ 26 00:01:13,614 --> 00:01:15,083 Don't worry, Barn. 27 00:01:15,083 --> 00:01:18,423 When a kid goes missing in this town, we find them. 28 00:01:19,425 --> 00:01:21,296 Hmm... Mm... 29 00:01:22,097 --> 00:01:23,501 Sorry, Waylon. 30 00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:24,770 Hey there, Ruthie. 31 00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:26,306 How are the little ones? 32 00:01:26,306 --> 00:01:29,145 Oh, you know kids. Still missin.' 33 00:01:29,145 --> 00:01:31,850 Ah, they disappear so fast, don't they? 34 00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:33,521 (chuckles) 35 00:01:35,057 --> 00:01:37,361 ♪ 36 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,035 (grunting) 37 00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:42,872 (laughing) 38 00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:44,977 Hey there, Simpson. 39 00:01:44,977 --> 00:01:47,314 Super-Intense-Kid Chalmers! 40 00:01:47,314 --> 00:01:50,153 Look what I traded my dog for. 41 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:52,358 -(yelps) -(cackles) 42 00:01:53,326 --> 00:01:54,362 Huh? 43 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,005 Creepy clown, go get help! 44 00:01:59,005 --> 00:02:00,474 -Hmm? -Hmm? -Hmm? 45 00:02:00,474 --> 00:02:01,877 (grunting) 46 00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:06,920 After him! 47 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,291 (grunting) 48 00:02:16,907 --> 00:02:19,445 Step away from the whimpering coward. 49 00:02:19,445 --> 00:02:20,515 (grunting) 50 00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:27,595 Time to bring out the big guns. 51 00:02:30,668 --> 00:02:32,171 (grunting) 52 00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:35,344 Aah! (groans) 53 00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:36,980 It's a fair fight. 54 00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:38,249 Let's run away! 55 00:02:38,249 --> 00:02:40,588 (all whimpering) 56 00:02:40,588 --> 00:02:42,057 HOMER: Hmm? 57 00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:45,531 Oh, oh, you're hurt, you poor thing. 58 00:02:45,531 --> 00:02:48,704 No girl has ever called me a "thing" before. 59 00:02:48,704 --> 00:02:50,240 I've seen you guys around. 60 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,277 You're the school outsiders, aren't you? 61 00:02:52,277 --> 00:02:55,718 We sure are. The comic book nerd, the tomboy. 62 00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:57,154 The scuzz. 63 00:02:57,154 --> 00:02:59,392 And the one Black kid in all of Maine. 64 00:02:59,392 --> 00:03:01,630 We call ourselves The Losers Club. 65 00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:04,603 It's a name we are no longer fighting. 66 00:03:04,603 --> 00:03:05,805 Ooh. 67 00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:09,713 We have a first aid kit in our clubhouse. Come on. 68 00:03:11,015 --> 00:03:13,153 Um, FYI, new guy. 69 00:03:13,153 --> 00:03:15,558 I called dibs on Marge in the second grade. 70 00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:17,227 Find your own secret knockout 71 00:03:17,227 --> 00:03:20,635 who doesn't recognize her own self-worth. (grunts) 72 00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,543 Sweet clubhouse, right? 73 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:27,549 They used it to store tartar sauce during the war. 74 00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:29,686 You're all gonna think I'm crazy, 75 00:03:29,686 --> 00:03:32,257 but when those bullies were gonna kill me, 76 00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:35,330 I saw an evil clown. 77 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:38,169 I-I've seen the clown, too. 78 00:03:38,169 --> 00:03:41,610 I was in the bathroom, uh, painting my nails... 79 00:03:42,377 --> 00:03:44,181 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 80 00:03:44,181 --> 00:03:46,052 (timer dings) 81 00:03:46,052 --> 00:03:47,287 Hmm? (grunts) 82 00:03:47,287 --> 00:03:49,893 Come on, I need water. 83 00:03:49,893 --> 00:03:51,195 CLOWN: How's about... 84 00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:53,199 a little seltzer? 85 00:03:53,199 --> 00:03:55,370 Aah! 86 00:03:56,573 --> 00:03:58,778 (whimpers) 87 00:03:58,778 --> 00:03:59,913 Help! 88 00:03:59,913 --> 00:04:02,317 He... 89 00:04:03,186 --> 00:04:05,625 (panting) 90 00:04:06,225 --> 00:04:08,163 -(burps) -Holy moly, 91 00:04:08,163 --> 00:04:09,566 bleach your mustache. 92 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,804 You look like El DeBarge. 93 00:04:13,306 --> 00:04:16,045 The clown knew my greatest fear: 94 00:04:16,045 --> 00:04:18,918 drowning in seltzer. 95 00:04:18,918 --> 00:04:21,255 -HOMER: Mm. -(clears throat) 96 00:04:21,255 --> 00:04:22,725 I saw the clown, too. 97 00:04:22,725 --> 00:04:26,365 But he came to me as a ventriloquist dummy. 98 00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,871 -Hey, kid. -Hmm? 99 00:04:28,871 --> 00:04:31,944 I went on a date with your mother last night. 100 00:04:32,946 --> 00:04:34,281 (whimpers) 101 00:04:34,281 --> 00:04:36,285 You might want to check her for splinters! 102 00:04:36,285 --> 00:04:38,456 (cackles) 103 00:04:38,456 --> 00:04:41,262 He was implying they made love. 104 00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:44,034 I was in my bedroom, reading. 105 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,613 Wanna swap spit? 106 00:04:49,613 --> 00:04:51,617 Aah! 107 00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:53,854 -(cackles) -Aah! 108 00:04:53,854 --> 00:04:55,390 I saw him too. 109 00:04:55,390 --> 00:04:58,631 He came to me as the rotting corpse of my grandmother 110 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,635 in a hot tub full of maggots. 111 00:05:01,269 --> 00:05:03,406 We get it, we get it, no need for a flashback. 112 00:05:03,406 --> 00:05:05,343 I bet that evil clown is the one 113 00:05:05,343 --> 00:05:07,481 who took all the missing kids in town. 114 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,253 We need to find out what we're up against. 115 00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:13,794 Which means doing the thing we all fear most: 116 00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:15,030 -homework. -Aah! 117 00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,569 -Oh God, no. -But it's summer. 118 00:05:24,816 --> 00:05:26,887 HOMER: Your arm is summer lightning. 119 00:05:26,887 --> 00:05:28,791 Your bravery, the storm. 120 00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:30,427 Hmm. (gasps) 121 00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:33,868 Like a chimp at the zoo, I'm bananas for you. 122 00:05:39,846 --> 00:05:41,015 MARGE: Homer! 123 00:05:41,015 --> 00:05:44,021 Homer, I found him. In this. 124 00:05:47,862 --> 00:05:50,433 The clown has been in Kingfield before. 125 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,972 He's always been here. 126 00:05:52,972 --> 00:05:54,709 BROCKMAN: Channel 14 and Fume Champ 127 00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:57,180 Super-Leaded Gasoline present 128 00:05:57,180 --> 00:06:00,621 The Yuk-Yuk Hour with Krusto the Clown. 129 00:06:00,621 --> 00:06:02,792 -(applause) -(kids cheering) 130 00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:04,161 Hey, hey! 131 00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:07,134 Thanks for the big hand. 132 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,604 (audience laughs) 133 00:06:08,604 --> 00:06:12,144 In 1936 he had a radio hour. 134 00:06:12,144 --> 00:06:14,448 In 1909, a vaudeville review. 135 00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:17,689 And in 1882, he was an emcee for a freak show. 136 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:19,593 And the strangest thing is... 137 00:06:19,593 --> 00:06:23,199 He was never, ever funny. 138 00:06:23,199 --> 00:06:25,838 He comes back every 27 years. 139 00:06:25,838 --> 00:06:27,241 And when he does... 140 00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:29,746 I gorge myself on pre-teens. 141 00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:30,781 ALL: Aah! 142 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,619 (laughs) 143 00:06:37,394 --> 00:06:39,365 Aah! Oh. (grunting) 144 00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,536 (kids whimper, scream) 145 00:06:44,509 --> 00:06:47,849 What's the difference between a Twinkie and a fat kid? 146 00:06:47,849 --> 00:06:51,122 I don't feel guilty when I eat a fat kid. 147 00:06:51,122 --> 00:06:53,560 (children laughing) 148 00:06:54,194 --> 00:06:56,499 Ah... 149 00:06:57,502 --> 00:06:59,806 Homer, catch! 150 00:07:00,975 --> 00:07:02,545 Gah! My wattle! 151 00:07:02,545 --> 00:07:04,716 My beautiful wattle! 152 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:08,156 Now I'm really big and scary! 153 00:07:08,156 --> 00:07:09,693 (gasps) 154 00:07:11,095 --> 00:07:14,134 Temporary setba... 155 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:16,740 I don't want to die and be buried in a kid coffin. 156 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:19,445 It costs the same as a regular-sized. 157 00:07:19,445 --> 00:07:22,484 I overheard my parents pricing 'em. 158 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,856 -(sobbing) -Calm down. 159 00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:27,494 (grunts) Well, that's my fetish now. 160 00:07:27,494 --> 00:07:28,897 Look, don't you see? 161 00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:30,300 We hurt him. 162 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:33,239 And if we can hurt him, we can kill him. 163 00:07:33,239 --> 00:07:34,408 Ooh. 164 00:07:34,408 --> 00:07:36,345 Oh... 165 00:07:36,345 --> 00:07:38,584 ♪ 166 00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,367 Hmm? 167 00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,572 (scoffs) "Bananas for you"? 168 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,010 -HOMER: Mm? -Oh! 169 00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:53,212 (laughing) 170 00:07:53,212 --> 00:07:54,949 That romantic son of a bitch. 171 00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:57,855 When she reads this, she'll be his forever. 172 00:08:01,362 --> 00:08:02,832 (all shudder) 173 00:08:08,209 --> 00:08:10,046 (all gasp) 174 00:08:14,088 --> 00:08:15,524 HOMER: Free candy? 175 00:08:15,524 --> 00:08:17,494 (gasps) Let's eat it before the clown shows up! 176 00:08:17,494 --> 00:08:19,599 -(laughs) Aah! -Aah! 177 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,503 Hey, hey, kids! 178 00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:22,972 What time is it? 179 00:08:22,972 --> 00:08:25,911 CHILDREN: Time to laugh for Krusto. 180 00:08:25,911 --> 00:08:27,147 Attack! 181 00:08:28,149 --> 00:08:29,586 (exclaims) 182 00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:32,290 Our whimsical weapons-- they're useless. 183 00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:34,395 Don't you kids get it? 184 00:08:34,395 --> 00:08:36,165 I'm completely invinci... 185 00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:38,537 Whoa! (exclaiming) 186 00:08:45,216 --> 00:08:47,187 Aah! 187 00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:49,458 (groans, grunts) 188 00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:51,195 Oh! 189 00:08:51,195 --> 00:08:53,066 (laughing) 190 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,305 Wait, I never heard that before. 191 00:08:56,305 --> 00:08:59,713 Real laughter. That I actually earned. 192 00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,317 Hey, hey, kids, if you like that, 193 00:09:02,317 --> 00:09:03,854 watch this. 194 00:09:03,854 --> 00:09:05,524 (exclaiming) 195 00:09:07,294 --> 00:09:08,597 Hot! 196 00:09:08,597 --> 00:09:09,999 (laughing) 197 00:09:12,839 --> 00:09:14,374 Eh? Eh? 198 00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:16,479 He's killing himself for laughs. 199 00:09:16,479 --> 00:09:18,282 Hey, clown. 200 00:09:18,282 --> 00:09:19,753 Why don't you eat these? 201 00:09:20,654 --> 00:09:23,594 Oh! Cherry bombs in the mouth. 202 00:09:23,594 --> 00:09:25,163 That's a great gag. 203 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,568 Oh... 204 00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:32,210 So this is what it feels like not to bomb. 205 00:09:32,210 --> 00:09:33,413 Whoa! 206 00:09:33,413 --> 00:09:34,716 (exclaiming) 207 00:09:36,686 --> 00:09:38,356 No, you tricked me! 208 00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:41,663 You're nothing but a bunch of losers. 209 00:09:41,663 --> 00:09:43,801 And that's all you'll ever be! 210 00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:45,538 -(gasps) -(sighs) 211 00:09:45,538 --> 00:09:47,040 We're not dead. 212 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,309 Somebody pinch me. 213 00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:49,546 Somebody slap me. 214 00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:51,850 A-Any one of youse. Doesn't-doesn't matter. 215 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:53,720 Guys, let's make a pact: 216 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,891 if the clown comes back in 27 years, 217 00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:57,227 no matter where we all end up, 218 00:09:57,227 --> 00:10:00,601 we'll come back home and finish the job. 219 00:10:03,106 --> 00:10:05,811 Now let's find out if this water is deep enough 220 00:10:05,811 --> 00:10:07,949 -for jumpin'! -(whooping) 221 00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:10,621 Uh... 222 00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:12,424 -Mwah. -Huh? 223 00:10:12,424 --> 00:10:14,094 I got your poem. 224 00:10:14,094 --> 00:10:18,604 I want my first love to be the boy who wrote those words. 225 00:10:18,604 --> 00:10:21,408 B-By that, you mean me, of course. 226 00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,914 Kiss me for the rest of the summer. 227 00:10:25,851 --> 00:10:28,089 Wait, this isn't right. 228 00:10:28,089 --> 00:10:30,828 I'm the one I wanted Marge to fall in love with. 229 00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:32,464 Eh, cheer up, Homer. 230 00:10:32,464 --> 00:10:34,569 We got our whole lives ahead of us. 231 00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:36,372 Maybe you guys do. 232 00:10:36,372 --> 00:10:39,712 I think mine just ended. 233 00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,716 Oh, Marge. Mwah, kissing. 234 00:10:41,716 --> 00:10:43,386 -This. -I'm so happy. 235 00:10:43,386 --> 00:10:44,789 Oh yes. (giggling) 236 00:10:51,536 --> 00:10:53,472 -(grunts) -Hey, 237 00:10:53,472 --> 00:10:56,078 that bakery wasn't here this morning. 238 00:10:56,847 --> 00:10:59,652 Well, there's no kids around. 239 00:10:59,652 --> 00:11:01,523 Might as well bully adults. 240 00:11:01,523 --> 00:11:03,927 Hey Pie Man! Gimme a... 241 00:11:03,927 --> 00:11:05,396 (grunts) 242 00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:07,668 Dude, are you okay? 243 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,404 (all screaming) 244 00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:13,647 ♪ 245 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,520 (Lenny laughs) 246 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,922 Oh, Moleman, 247 00:11:17,922 --> 00:11:20,594 I can't imagine my life without you seated next to me 248 00:11:20,594 --> 00:11:23,266 every night here at D'ohs Tavern. 249 00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,334 You're my best friend. 250 00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,305 I'm cold. 251 00:11:26,305 --> 00:11:27,575 (sighs) 252 00:11:27,575 --> 00:11:29,077 Hmm? 253 00:11:29,077 --> 00:11:31,583 One teen was killed by a pie to the face. 254 00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:34,154 Another's intestines were twisted into balloon animals. 255 00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:36,927 And the last, choked by a chain of hankies so long, 256 00:11:36,927 --> 00:11:38,864 police are still pulling it out. 257 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:41,368 No, the clown can't be back. 258 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,139 Unless it's... (gasps) 259 00:11:43,139 --> 00:11:45,611 27 years later. 260 00:11:45,611 --> 00:11:49,251 I got to tell the other Losers that it's time to come home, 261 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,955 so we can end this. 262 00:11:50,955 --> 00:11:55,496 I wonder if their lives turned out as lousy as mine. 263 00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,568 ♪ 264 00:11:57,568 --> 00:11:59,839 ♪ Here I am ♪ 265 00:11:59,839 --> 00:12:02,878 ♪ Rock you like a hurricane ♪ 266 00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:06,553 ♪ Here I am. ♪ 267 00:12:06,553 --> 00:12:08,757 (cheering, applause) 268 00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,199 Thank you, Las Vegas. 269 00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,434 Yeah, rock and roll. 270 00:12:16,673 --> 00:12:18,075 Message for you from your old hometown. 271 00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:21,348 Something about a childhood pact. 272 00:12:21,348 --> 00:12:22,551 Ah... 273 00:12:22,551 --> 00:12:25,490 A pact is a pact. I'm on my way. 274 00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:28,229 Uh, I got to go, guys. 275 00:12:28,229 --> 00:12:31,135 Oh, here's the instructions for destroying the asteroid. 276 00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:32,571 You got this! 277 00:12:32,571 --> 00:12:34,274 ANNOUNCER: Ten, nine... 278 00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:37,314 Homer, it's so nice to hear your voice 279 00:12:37,314 --> 00:12:39,552 after all these years. 280 00:12:39,552 --> 00:12:42,190 Wow, CEO of your own company. 281 00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:45,731 You know, I pictured you growing up to be a softball superstar. 282 00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:48,235 Aw, you were always so sweet. 283 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,639 How have you been? 284 00:12:49,639 --> 00:12:52,511 So good. I practically live on Reddit. 285 00:12:52,511 --> 00:12:54,314 But did you ever get the feeling 286 00:12:54,314 --> 00:12:57,253 that we missed our chance? 287 00:12:57,253 --> 00:12:58,890 I do. I sure wish 288 00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:01,261 we'd done it 27 years ago. 289 00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:04,502 (gasps) Me too! Oh, it's all I think about. 290 00:13:04,502 --> 00:13:06,806 Oh, you mean kill Krusto. 291 00:13:06,806 --> 00:13:08,710 Yeah, that would've been good, too. 292 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:12,017 Oh, I want to help, but I'm not sure I can. 293 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,589 I have responsibilities now. 294 00:13:14,589 --> 00:13:16,693 -Hi, Mom. -What up, Big Blue? 295 00:13:16,693 --> 00:13:19,197 Bert, my little jazz tubist. 296 00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:22,003 And Lizzie, my special little gal. 297 00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:25,978 Mom, I got an A-plus on my Elizabeth Cady Stanton diorama. 298 00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:27,848 I threw a stink bomb in the teacher's lounge 299 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,151 and bike-locked the door. 300 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:32,692 Well, I'm so proud of one of those things. 301 00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:34,629 Who's Homer Simpson? 302 00:13:34,629 --> 00:13:36,533 That's a dumb-ass name. 303 00:13:36,533 --> 00:13:38,235 Really? Our father's name is... 304 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,939 Comic Book Guy. 305 00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:42,912 Homer Simpson is someone we knew back in Kingfield. 306 00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:46,452 A town we will never set foot in again. 307 00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:47,822 Mm... 308 00:13:47,822 --> 00:13:49,692 Homer needs us. We're the only ones 309 00:13:49,692 --> 00:13:51,563 who can kill the clown. 310 00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:52,832 We're adults now. 311 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,370 A kid murderer is a kid problem. 312 00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:58,977 What happened to the boy who admired my bravery so much 313 00:13:58,977 --> 00:14:00,714 he put it in a poem? 314 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,785 B-By that, you mean me, of course. 315 00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:04,856 Well, I am a husband now, and a father. 316 00:14:04,856 --> 00:14:06,693 And I'm-I'm... 317 00:14:06,693 --> 00:14:09,097 -I'm... -The same little coward... 318 00:14:09,097 --> 00:14:11,402 You always were! (roars) 319 00:14:12,203 --> 00:14:13,573 Aah! 320 00:14:13,573 --> 00:14:15,811 Marge, I had a dream about him. 321 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,715 He was just as scary as I remember, 322 00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:20,353 but updated for a Gen Z audience. 323 00:14:20,353 --> 00:14:22,257 Honey? Honey? 324 00:14:24,629 --> 00:14:26,031 (grumbles) 325 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,402 To the Losers. 326 00:14:28,402 --> 00:14:30,373 The Losers. 327 00:14:30,373 --> 00:14:33,780 So, how the hell are we gonna stop that unkillable clown? 328 00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:35,851 We ain't exactly children no more. 329 00:14:35,851 --> 00:14:37,955 Yeah, but we're still friends. 330 00:14:37,955 --> 00:14:39,859 We're still full of childlike wonder. 331 00:14:39,859 --> 00:14:41,629 We're still virgins. 332 00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:43,165 -Eesh. -Mm... 333 00:14:43,165 --> 00:14:46,506 Yeah, we're still, uh... (clears throat) 334 00:14:46,506 --> 00:14:50,146 Well, whenever I need to find my courage, 335 00:14:50,146 --> 00:14:53,486 I think of a poem Comic Book Guy wrote for me when we were kids. 336 00:14:53,486 --> 00:14:54,989 Poem? 337 00:14:54,989 --> 00:14:57,093 It's why I fell in love with him. 338 00:14:57,828 --> 00:14:58,964 Marge, there's something 339 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:01,201 I have to tell you right now, 340 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,940 because if I wait even one more second-- 341 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:08,048 I'm talking one single second, just one-- 342 00:15:08,048 --> 00:15:09,752 something might happen that will make me not... 343 00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:11,823 -(door opens) -BERT and LIZZIE: Mom! 344 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,927 Oh... be able to tell you. 345 00:15:13,927 --> 00:15:17,033 Kids, no, what are you doing here? 346 00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:19,004 They're here to collect their mother. 347 00:15:19,004 --> 00:15:21,408 Kids, be good and wait in the car. 348 00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:25,149 Mommy and Daddy have some grown-up yelling to discuss. 349 00:15:25,951 --> 00:15:28,489 Mom and Dad's hometown sure sucks. 350 00:15:28,489 --> 00:15:32,430 Misspelled pet cemetery, Salem's parking lot, 351 00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:36,906 mysterious antique store that charges by the soul. 352 00:15:36,906 --> 00:15:38,677 What the hell are you watching? 353 00:15:38,677 --> 00:15:40,213 Oh... 354 00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:43,352 Wake up! We barely escaped last time. 355 00:15:43,352 --> 00:15:46,659 Why risk our lives now when we have so much to lose? 356 00:15:46,659 --> 00:15:47,928 Present Homers excluded. 357 00:15:47,928 --> 00:15:49,364 (phones dinging, ringing) 358 00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:54,174 Hope you Losers weren't thinking of leaving just yet. 359 00:15:54,174 --> 00:15:57,915 Not without seeing my new star attraction. 360 00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,217 Help, Mom! 361 00:15:59,217 --> 00:16:02,423 Dad, get your fat ass down here! 362 00:16:02,423 --> 00:16:03,425 No! 363 00:16:03,425 --> 00:16:05,463 (cackles) 364 00:16:08,269 --> 00:16:09,471 Our kids! 365 00:16:09,471 --> 00:16:10,741 Our phones. 366 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:12,812 Now it's personal. 367 00:16:12,812 --> 00:16:16,418 Just like it always was. 368 00:16:17,655 --> 00:16:19,725 (grunts) 369 00:16:21,461 --> 00:16:24,535 (sniffs) I smell thousand-year-old flop sweat. 370 00:16:24,535 --> 00:16:26,171 We must be close. 371 00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:30,012 -LIZZIE: Finally! -BERT: Mom, Dad! 372 00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:31,081 -Up here! -(gasps) 373 00:16:31,081 --> 00:16:33,954 Kids! Oh... 374 00:16:33,954 --> 00:16:35,223 Aah! 375 00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:38,830 Well, well. If it isn't the Losers. 376 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:42,237 Say hello to my studio audience. 377 00:16:43,005 --> 00:16:44,642 (children laughing) 378 00:16:49,952 --> 00:16:53,459 There's no laughter like forced laughter. 379 00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:56,198 We're not afraid of you anymore, clown. 380 00:16:56,198 --> 00:16:58,168 You have no power over us. 381 00:16:58,168 --> 00:17:01,241 He's an astronaut, she's a seltzer big wig, 382 00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,345 and I'm a world-famous, 383 00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:05,951 um, virgin. 384 00:17:05,951 --> 00:17:07,253 Oh, damn it. 385 00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:10,661 The point is we've conquered our childhood fears. 386 00:17:10,661 --> 00:17:14,902 Ah, but adults have something much tastier than fears. 387 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:16,138 Anxieties. 388 00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:18,209 Millions of tiny, 389 00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,981 delicious anxieties. 390 00:17:20,981 --> 00:17:22,450 (yelps) 391 00:17:22,450 --> 00:17:24,221 Oh! 392 00:17:25,524 --> 00:17:27,260 (screeching) 393 00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,863 You know what I'm thankful for? 394 00:17:28,863 --> 00:17:32,470 The filibuster. Let's talk about it. 395 00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:33,506 ALL: Aah! 396 00:17:33,506 --> 00:17:35,076 -(screeching) -(all whimpering) 397 00:17:35,076 --> 00:17:37,615 But you-- you've got something 398 00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:40,152 worth worrying about. 399 00:17:40,152 --> 00:17:42,056 Why don't I tell Marge 400 00:17:42,056 --> 00:17:44,094 you put your name on the poem 401 00:17:44,094 --> 00:17:46,465 that won her heart, eh? 402 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,004 (yelps) 403 00:17:49,004 --> 00:17:51,108 No, no, please. 404 00:17:51,108 --> 00:17:53,045 It-it wasn't you? 405 00:17:53,045 --> 00:17:56,118 I tried to tell you, just not very hard. 406 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,389 My life is a lie. 407 00:17:58,389 --> 00:17:59,692 Oh... 408 00:18:02,698 --> 00:18:04,401 He must get his sinister powers 409 00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:06,606 from his captive audience. 410 00:18:06,606 --> 00:18:08,442 Just like Jimmy Fallon. 411 00:18:08,442 --> 00:18:11,448 You have to destroy the sign! 412 00:18:16,358 --> 00:18:18,262 Only you can do it, Marge. 413 00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,266 Your arm is summer lightning. 414 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,103 Your bravery, the storm. 415 00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:24,274 You're the chimp in the zoo. 416 00:18:24,274 --> 00:18:27,246 And I'm still bananas for you. 417 00:18:27,246 --> 00:18:30,219 Now, throw, throw! 418 00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:32,958 Hmm? 419 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:34,795 Ah... 420 00:18:34,795 --> 00:18:36,799 (grunting) 421 00:18:36,799 --> 00:18:38,837 (whimpering) 422 00:18:40,072 --> 00:18:41,876 (grunts) 423 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,649 No! 424 00:18:48,322 --> 00:18:50,694 Why were we laughing? 425 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,296 This show sucks. 426 00:18:52,296 --> 00:18:53,600 Let's go up to heaven 427 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,371 and bask in the glory of God's stupid love. 428 00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,409 ♪ 429 00:18:59,745 --> 00:19:01,448 My audience! No! 430 00:19:01,448 --> 00:19:03,787 It took me years to grow them. 431 00:19:03,787 --> 00:19:05,657 (groans) Eh? 432 00:19:05,657 --> 00:19:08,162 Aah! Oh... Oh! 433 00:19:08,162 --> 00:19:10,767 I can't start over! Oh! 434 00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,103 What would that even look like? 435 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:14,107 (whimpers) 436 00:19:14,107 --> 00:19:16,512 Dancing for followers on TikTok? 437 00:19:16,512 --> 00:19:17,447 (groans) 438 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:20,453 I haven't written a joke since 1647. 439 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,425 Aah! And that material has not... 440 00:19:23,425 --> 00:19:25,630 (exclaiming, grunting): aged... 441 00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:27,801 well. Oh... 442 00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:30,674 I blame cancel culture. 443 00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,784 You were finally brave. 444 00:19:35,784 --> 00:19:39,592 Does this make up for lying to you all these years? 445 00:19:39,592 --> 00:19:41,161 Oh, honey. 446 00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:42,965 Of course not. 447 00:19:42,965 --> 00:19:44,635 No, I get it. (groans) 448 00:19:46,204 --> 00:19:47,908 HOMER: Mm... 449 00:19:48,943 --> 00:19:50,514 Growing up isn't easy. 450 00:19:50,514 --> 00:19:53,185 The traumas we lived as kids can haunt us forever, 451 00:19:53,185 --> 00:19:55,857 lurking in the corners of our mind. 452 00:19:55,857 --> 00:19:57,293 We can't undo the harm, 453 00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:59,698 but with a little help, we can survive it. 454 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:04,207 And live the life we were always meant to. 455 00:20:05,777 --> 00:20:08,950 The humans have vanquished our thousand-year-old clown, 456 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:12,457 but surely they will be no match for our next nightmare-- 457 00:20:12,457 --> 00:20:15,530 a Saint Bernard with rabies. 458 00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:16,933 Mm... 459 00:20:16,933 --> 00:20:18,435 An angry car? 460 00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:21,576 Put that in the "maybe" pile. 461 00:20:21,576 --> 00:20:24,815 How about a prom that goes seriously wrong? 462 00:20:25,817 --> 00:20:27,386 Haunted hotel? 463 00:20:27,386 --> 00:20:29,090 What about some Tommyknockers? 464 00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:30,961 Those sound scary. 465 00:20:30,961 --> 00:20:33,533 Yes, yes! 466 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:36,071 (cackling) 467 00:20:36,071 --> 00:20:39,244 -Tommyknockers. -Tommyknockers. 468 00:20:39,244 --> 00:20:41,281 (cackling continues) 469 00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:44,755 -Tommyknockers. -Tommyknockers. 470 00:20:51,536 --> 00:20:54,508 Captioning sponsored by 20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION 471 00:20:54,508 --> 00:20:57,714 and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY 472 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,486 and TOYOTA. 473 00:21:00,486 --> 00:21:03,726 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 474 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,318 (shrieks) 29282

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