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(ominous music)

(plain swooshes)

(train honks)

(peaceful piano music)

(Kelly moans)

(alarm beeps)

- Damn it!

(upbeat music)

Well, it's another day,

and another opportunity
to find true love.

I told myself that
this is the year

that I'm gonna find
the man of my dreams.

I know it's already August,

but I'm not giving up.

I'm on this new dating
app called Hitched Date.

It's for young professionals

who are looking
for the real thing.

I know you must think
this is pathetic.

Let's face it,

this is how it's done.

- Oh, I heard you were
looking for Florida, baby.

You found it.

- Your butt could
be like around ball,

like a planet.

- You see me finger
a a g-string,

and after the show they might
let me finger their g-string.

- And I am like a
satellite, I orbit.

- I have been looking for
the perfect woman to marry.

- More of a chew and
screw type of guy

if I say so myself.

- And I have a house
with an empty room.

- I don't think I can
conflab with a woman

that don't know who Billy D is.

- I know, don't get intimidated.

(George laughs)

- Sorry.

(upbeat music)

(camera shutters)

This is where I work.

I'm a Project Manager for
a major design-build firm,

which is a bit strange
'cause I went to school

for computer science.

However, I am really organized,

so they brought me on board.

- Oh, Kelly darling,

this scarf is so tired.

It's about ready to take a nap.

- You don't like my scarf?
- No, dear,

no one wears a scarf in August.

- Don't pay attention to him.

I know it's a Saturday,

but we have a huge
presentation on Monday,

and even though we're all
required to be here today,

my boss is really awesome,

and she loves me.

- Kelly?

Where is Kelly?

Ah, Kelly, do you
have the numbers?

Okay, good girl.

- Ooh, bosslady, you are
rocking that scarf, darling.

Here's your coffee, sweetheart.

- Thank you, Jonathan.

- Will there be anything else?

- Maybe you can get
your nose out of my ass.

- Ooh, apparently,
it's not big enough.

- These look good.

These look really, really good.

(phone rings)

(upbeat music)

No, I have them in front of me.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

That's Jessica.

She's my best friend.

I love working with her.

Back to finding true love.

He's tall, dark, and handsome.

He plays football.

Has such a great body.

He's everything that I
can dream up in a guy,

and he loves me.

(upbeat music)

Ew, get her out of there.

(Vanessa screams)

Ah, that's better.

(upbeat music)

(music scratches)

Don't misunderstand
me or anything.

He's not my boyfriend.

You might even be
wondering what's his real.

Well, he is.

(suspenseful piano music)

I see him in the park sometimes.

I really wish he
would notice me,

but the timing has
just been all wrong.

Well, bad timing can
be an understatement,

but I'm sure once he notices me,

sparks will fly.

(suspenseful xylophone music)

- Hold on one second.
- What?

- (groans) I hate cardio.

Oh yeah, my bad.

I was just up late last night.

Have you thought of
an approach at all

for this presentation?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'm going to
use cross matrix filter.

You know it's gonna analyze,

spending an internet
based search patterns.

- So essentially you're
just taking a snapshot

of these companies spending
reports and earnings.

- Exactly.
- Great.

- Yeah, we're gonna see which
companies are cutting spending

and one that's
laying off workers.

Take that data,

put it through my algorithm,

cross reference it with all
their physical locations,

find out the weakest locations,

and boom, we got our targets.

- So essentially
you're just gonna hack

into a multi-million
dollar companies database.

You do realize you're
gonna have to be the one

to sell this to Jack
and Michael, right?

You know how anal he can be.

- [Dillan] We're not
hacking it to anything.

It's our data.

(tense music)

- Hopefully, it doesn't
bite us both in the ass.

(phone chimes)

Give me a sec.

- Holy shit, are you on Hitched?

I didn't even know
you had one of those.

- Yeah, I dabble in it.

- Hey, I mean does it,
you know, work for you?

I mean, I personally have
just never had any luck.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm-mh.

- No, let me just, you
know, 'cause I like, let me-

- Kyle?

(phone chimes)

Kyle, what the fuck?

- What?

(phone chimes)

- You just made
me like this girl.

- Shut the front door.

- She's not that bad.
- Not that bad?

- Hey girl, come on, let's go.

The meeting's about to start.

- Look!
- What?

- (gasps) Damn, he's fine.

- Not bad?

This girl is a fucking scab.

- Wait, he liked you.

- Hey. (chuckles)

- You should just bang and deny,

bang and deny, you know.

- Damn, he's fine.

- Get your whistle on it.
- What?

- Wait, what are you gonna say?

- Just hit it and quit it.

Bang, bang, bang.

- (laughs) So lame.

Yo, what's up?
- I don't know.

(both laughing)

- Oh, okay, well, since
you're such a stud,

why don't you bang her then?

- I aint like her. (chuckles)

- You know what, Kyle?

Thank you so much for
showing such genuine concern.

I really appreciate it.
- Oh God!

- Asshole.

(suspenseful music)

- Hi team.

Okay, I am happy to announce
that we have made it

to the next step in
landing the redesign

for the Gateway Mall.

- (sighs) I wish I wasn't
in this stupid meeting.

Oh, my God, he is so hot.

I wonder what he's
doing right now.

- All right, so I wanna thank
Kelly for all the hard work.

Kelly?

Kelly!

- What?

I am so sorry.
- Pathetic.

- I'm sorry, are you busy?

- No, continue.

Okay, I feel like an idiot.

My boss is giving me props,

and I am totally ignoring her.

But what the hell?

This could be it.

(laughs) She's such a perv.

I swear she should
have been a pornstar.

I wonder where he lives.

I wonder how he likes it.

(sensual guitar music)

(Kelly moans)

(moans) Dillan. (moans)

Yeah.

(upbeat music)

Oh, my God. (moans)

Yes.

Yes. (moans)

- Kelly?

- What?

I am so sorry.

(suspenseful music)

- One more time,

and I'm taking a hammer
to that fucking phone.

- It won't happen
again, I'm sorry.

- It better not.

Okay, as I was saying,

- I am not risking true
love for a stupid meeting.

Hmm, no response yet.

I wonder why he
hasn't responded.

He must be busy.

Yeah, he's busy.

♪ If you're thinking
of going down, down ♪

♪ Even

♪ Even

- Oh my God, I thought Alexis
was gonna lose her shit today.

- He hasn't responded yet.
- Who?

- Should I send them
another message?

- That guy?

Oh, that fine guy from Hitched.

Wait, did you steal his photo
and make it your wallpaper?

- Yes.

So what?

I like his photo and
his name is Dillan.

I'm gonna message
him one more time.

- Oh my God, he was here.

He was here!

- Calm down, what are
you talking about?

- It was him.

He was here.

The app has this
feature that allows you

to see if other people who
use the app are around.

- (chuckles) That's
just fucking creepy.

Oh my God, don't look,
Jonathan just walked in.

- Ah, fuck, he's such
a pain in the ass.

- Maybe he won't see us.

- Hello ladies.

- Hi Jonathan.

- What, no boys tonight,

or is it just a cunninlingus
type night?

- What do you want, Jonathan?

- I just stopped
by to say hello.

Oh please, dear, Hitched?

- What?

- I can't believe
you're on Hitched.

- What?

- That's like catfish city.

- [Narrator] Hitcheddate.com,

voted the number one dating
site by the douchebag tribune.

No fatties or fuglies here.

Stop pretending that
you're looking for love,

and finally upgrade
your social status.

Let's face it,

what you really want
is to date someone

who's better than you.

- I never thought I
would find true love.

The kind of love that's based
purely on looks and money.

Then I tried the Hitched app,

and I met the most
shallow man of my dreams.

- Oh, thank you baby.

You know, I found exactly
what I was looking for.

I was just looking for
for a desperate girl

who's insecure with a hot body,

but thinks she's ugly,

who will let me do freaky
shit on her. (laughs)

Thank you hitchedddate.com.
- Thank you hitcheddate.com.

- [Narrator] Hitchdate.com,

we know what you're
really looking for.

- Johnathan, don't
be such a bitch.

Don't be such a bitch.

Don't be such a bitch.

- For your information,

I am talking to a really
hot guy who could be the man

of my dreams.

- Well, not exactly talking.

- Yeah, well, your dreams and
his nightmare, sweetheart.

I'll see your work
tomorrow, ladies.

Ta at!

- Ignore him.

- What a fucking asshole.

Asshole!

(upbeat music)

Anyway, do you realize
that we could have walked

right past him?

- Girl, I hope you're not
gonna obsess over this guy.

- You know what
this means, right?

What, what means?

- It's a sign?
- No, it's not.

- It's definitely a sign.

I'm gonna message him again.

Hey there, I see
we've crossed paths.

Winky face.

- Are you freaking crazy?
- What?

- Kelly, what are you doing?

Are you just gonna bang him?

- I didn't mean like a hook up.

(both laughing)

- Okay, seriously though,

what if he some kind
of serial killer?

- Or what if he is the one?
- Did he respond?

(upbeat music)

- Not yet.

- I gotta go.

Be careful.

You know how I feel about
all this online dating stuff,

especially now, since you
stalkers can track each other,

I'm serious, don't
do anything stupid,

and don't message him again.

Let him message you.

(suspenseful music)

(people chattering)

(tense cymbal music)

(peaceful piano music)

- This is Sam and Pam.

They're such an item.

I feed them at least
three times a week.

They come to my door and
look at me through the glass.

It is the cutest thing ever.

Sam always follows Pam.

No matter where I see them,

they're always together.

Isn't that the way
it's supposed to be?

I love their little love affair.

It gives me such hope.

God, I hope to
have found my Sam.

Only my Sam's name is Dillan.

(suspenseful upbeat music)

- Hold up a minute, Michael,

I've been trying to talk to
you about this the whole day.

- Watch out.
- Hello Jack.

- It's in the contract.

- No, you have to
look at this though.

- If you can't
read the contract,

tell him to have his
lawyer read the contract

to help him figure it out.
- It's got kelvin all over it.

(upbeat music)

- Hey, Dillan, how's the
program development coming?

- We're in the middle of
beta testing now, sir.

- So what does that mean?
- Two, three weeks tops.

- That's my man.

You know what happens if
you pull this off, right?

No more sitting at
the kids' table.

You know what
happens if you don't?

- Yes, sir.

- You see that man?

Make him proud.

(guitar music)

- Jesus Christ, turn
that thing down.

I said turn it down!

Oh shit!

The whole fucking
neighborhood can hear you.

What are you doing?

- Dad? (sighs)

I didn't know you were home.

- Son, why are you wasting
your time with this nonsense?

- It's not nonsense,
dad, I'm rehearsing.

- It's nonsense.

You'll never become anything

if you keep wasting your
time with this crap.

- It's not nonsense,
dad, I'm rehearsing.

- Oh, it's nonsense.

I don't wanna hear it.

- Dad.

- Is a too much for a father
to ask to want his son

to make him proud?

Oh!

(suspenseful piano music)

(bouncy music)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Well, I'm here.

What are your other two wishes?

- One that you would go away.

- And two that you
never come back.

- So what's your name?

- Valeria.

- Valeria, wow!

That's very, very beautiful.

You know, it sounds
like malaria.

- Right.
- Yeah, you know,

because you're just so
infectiously good looking.

- Good one.

- So what's your name?

- Sophia.
- Sophia, wow!

Yeah, you know, beautiful name

and eyes to match.

You're quite a catch.

- Okay, is there anything we
could actually help you with?

- Yeah, actually you can help me

find dinner
reservations for three.

- Seriously?

- Yeah, you know?

I know this great restaurant
by the water and some wine.

- Fuck off.

- Okay, okay, I can just
see this as a bad time.

I'll come right back.

(phone rings)

(Michael knocks)

- Come in.

- You finish those reports?

- Yeah, of course.

Hey Michael, you got a sec?

- Sure, what's on your mind?

- Well, this is gonna
sound kind of stupid,

but Jack just popped
his head in here.

Honestly, I don't know whether

to feel encouraged
or threatened.

- Kid's table?

- Yes.

What is with all this
kid's table shit?

- When I started here,

I was working for your father.

Jack was his number two.

I wanted to make
a name for myself.

My first big project,

we were traveling the globe
searching for land, properties.

Of course, that was
for the internet.

Anyway, Chuck used to come
up to my desk all the time,

driving me freaking
nuts, pressuring me,

making strange comments.

And right before
my big promotion,

he dropped the kids
table thing on me.

I think it's just
Jack's way of saying,

"It's time to move up,"

or maybe he was
speaking for Tom.

(somber piano music)

- Yeah, it's just
weird, you know?

- What's weird is that Jack
isn't that much older than me?

I don't know why he goes

around spouting
those old euphemisms.

I don't know,

maybe he got it
from his old man.

I don't know what it
is you're working on,

but according to Jack,

it could change the
whole goddamn industry.

You don't understand,

I've known Jack a long time,

and he never says
shit like that.

The point is you pull this off,

I guarantee you're
gonna be moving up.

- Good, 'cause I'm tired
of everyone thinking

that I'm only here
because of my father.

- Listen to me,

you are the only person
here who thinks that.

Your father busted his
ass to build this business

and make it what it is.

People think that he
took chances, risks,

but Tom had his shit dialed in.

He called it focus.

Tom believed that if you
focused on what you want,

you can make your own reality.

So the only thing,

the only thing you
should be thinking about

is do you wanna focus on
whether you belong here,

or do you wanna focus on owning
this whole goddamn thing?

(piano music)

- Michael?

- Thank you.

(door closes)

- Okay.
- Jesus Christ.

- What?
- Knock much?

- Oh, come on.

Look, let's go get
some drinks after work.

You seem very, very stressed.

What?

Come on, look, I just
played probably one

of the most legendary
seeds of all time

with the girl at the front desk.

Her name's Valeria by the way,

and we all can go visit Vanessa.

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Oh

(upbeat music)

- Shut up.

- What?

Oh, come on, how
long has it been

that you two have
known each other.

- Dude, she was my babysitter.

- Dillan, can you please,
pick up your toys.

- No.

- Pick up your toys now.

- No.

- Are you kidding me?

Come on, mihi, help me.

Serious.

- Why do I always have to do it?

- I can't believe this.

(suspenseful music)

- Well, life has now
come full circle,

and it is time for you
to have that Latin baby,

sit on your face.

(cheerful latino music)

- All right, dude, enough
about Vanessa, okay, please.

It's never gonna happen.

She doesn't see me that way,

and besides she's like
10 years older than me.

- Are you kidding me?

Have you not seen the way
this woman looks at you?

Oh, papi.

Oh Dillan.

Dude, I'd be like
bang, bang, bang,

slap in the ass in
that Latin MILF.

24 hours a day,

seven days a week, 365, Dillan.

- Okay, Kyle, please, please.

Okay, listen, Jack just
peeked his head in.

Michael stopped by.

I just, I don't have it.

Okay, I don't have
the mental capacity

to deal with this
right now, okay?

I'm sorry, man.

- Oh, Jesus Christ,

please, don't tell me he
did the kids' table thing

to you again.
- Yes, the kids' table.

It's always that.

What is with that shit?
- Look, I don't know.

Well, come on, he does the
kids table one thing to me too.

I just, you know, ignore it.

- Yeah, well, Michael
says it's Jack's way

of saying, "You're moving up."

- So just do what I do,

and focus on your
work. (chuckles)

- Focus on your work?

The only thing you focus
on is banging chicks.

- There is nothing
more satisfying

than cracking the
intricate and complex code

of the female species.

- Will you shut the fuck up.
- What?

It's true.

Listen to me,

there is scientific
studies that says

that women's breasts
reduce man's brain power

by about 50% per boob.

(suspenseful music)

- Yeah, I see your point.
- Of course you do.

(suspenseful music)

(keyboard clanking)

(phone chimes)

- Ew, oh my God, no.

(toilet flashes)

Wait, what the.

You fucking blocked me?

(somber music)

Why? (sobs)

why did you block me?

(somber music)

(Kelly sobs)

So I had a moment of weakness,

and I was hoping that
this was the real thing,

but fuck him!

I wouldn't even respond if
he messaged me right now.

Oh, shit, is that him?

Oh, my God.

Is he really waving at me?
- Hey!

- I knew this was meant to be.
- Dillan?

Oops, sorry.
- What the hell?

- Look at you sexy.

Look at you sexy.
- Hey, what's up, girl?

- Seriously?

Who's this hooker with
her up in the air.

Oh my God.

(somber piano music)

Oh my God.

(somber piano music)

(tense piano music)

Fine, he didn't
like my old profile,

well, maybe he'll
like my new one.

I am not giving up that easily.

(cat meows)

Now, I just gotta
find this asshole.

(keyboard clanking)

There.

(suspenseful music)

Hi, there, cutie. (scoffs)

There, let's see if he responds.

(suspenseful piano music)

(upbeat music)

You must be thinking it's
awful of me to catfish him.

I know I'm tricking him,

but what am I supposed to do?

I know if he just
gave me a chance,

and got to know me,

we would be the perfect match,

so I am going to make
him get to know me,

but first I gotta
make a few changes.

I know what I'm going to do.

(upbeat music)

(heavy metal music)

♪ I'm watching you

♪ And I see something
you don't see ♪

♪ You capture me

♪ When you let me in

♪ So I can see

♪ Sorry I don't mean

Hey.
- What are you working on?

- I'm just working on the new
big contractors materials.

- Let me see what
you you've got.

♪ And every time that
you're not here ♪

♪ I feel

Kelly, come with me into
the conference room.

- Sure.

(rock music)

♪ I can't take this

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

- What's with this?

What's with this?

What's with hanging
this on your cabinet?

What's with all of this?

What would this picture
posted everywhere?

- What?

I like the style.

- It's not the style,

and it's not you.

It's about being true to you,

and not trying to be this.

This isn't you.

(suspenseful music)

- Hey man, you wanna
go grab some lunch?

- Ah, no, bro.

I'd love to.

I think I'm just gonna
push through lunch,

work on this project.
- Ah, I see.

What do you got here?

A little Hitched alert.

- Okay, give me that.
- Relax, I just wanna see.

Dude, she's hot.

This is so unfair.

All I ever get is gays,
grandmas, and grandes.

- Are you done?

- I mean, you know,
I'm being honest.

She kind of looks like Vanessa.

- What?

She so does not.

I don't even know why you'd
say something like that.

- Hey baby, wanna chat?
- Dude what are you doing?

- I'm not doing anything.

Relax.

Oh, tell me a little bit
about yourself, baby?

- All right, Kyle,
give me the phone back.

- All, right, take it.

- Now.
- Take it.

- Jesus, man.

- Have you ever hooked up
with any of these girls?

All right, well,
just let me see it.

Let me see.

Come on, I'm not
gonna do anything.

I just wanna see the pictures.

Pictures are worth
a thousand words.

- Fine.

(bouncy music)

Don't message her.
- I won't.

(bouncy music)

God!

How did you get this lucky?

All right, you need
to bang this girl.

- Oh, I got it.

- Like tomorrow.
- Oh, yeah.

- Today if you can.
- Sure.

- And you will thank me.
- Kyle, what did we say?

- You didn't say anything.
- What did we say?

- I'm saying you're
gonna be laid.

- What did we say?

- I work at Lang Holding.
- I said not to touch it,

right?

Kyle?
- You need to touch this.

- I told you not to touch
the phone, didn't I.

- This is like one
time at summer camp

when I told you to kiss that
girl behind the bleachers

and you pussied out.

- You don't listen.
- This is not happening again.

I'm telling you
don't listen to this.

- [Dillan] That's your problem.

- I'm going to set us
up with a supermodel,

- Dude, I am not fucking
with you right now.

- You are going to have sex
with a supermodel tonight.

- Kyle, give me my phone!
- All right, fine, take it,

take it, take it, take it.

(suspenseful music)

- You told her where I work.

Are you crazy?

I don't know this person.

She could be a serial killer.

- Or worse.

I mean, she could be a he.

(upbeat music)

You'll thank you later.

(upbeat music)

(phone buzzes)

(ominous music)

- Hey Ryan, this should
go through any firewall,

or security you're
having trouble with.

K.

(rock music)

(phone buzzes)

♪ Will you give it all to me

♪ Will you give it all

♪ As I put my hands upon you

♪ 'Cause I feel your
curves and skin ♪

♪ Will take all it fro, me

♪ And will you take it all

♪ As this tension’s aching me

♪ As I press on your body

♪ As I beg
for your release ♪

♪ As you show me how
you ache ♪

♪ And as I feel you
start to shake

♪ As I deliver your release

♪ As I put my lips
on your rose

♪ As I start to taste the flow

♪ 'Cause you give it all to me

♪ Just give it all

♪ As I penetrate you slow

♪ As your friction
makes us glow ♪

♪ As you take
it all from me ♪

♪ You just take it all

- Oh!

- So this is like my first
time using a dating app.

I don't know,

I was always kinda like
sketched out by it.

Anyway, I matched with this guy.

He looked tall in his photos,

and I'm a tall girl,

so I figured I'd give it a shot.

He pulls up and he’s
short as fuck, okay?

You can't, how do you go
from six foot to midget

that I don't fucking understand.

We started dancing.

He's getting a little spicy,

and he asked me to
come home with him.

"Hey, mommy, come
back to my place."

He makes me pay
for my own drink.

I just fucking met you,

you think I'm gonna have
sex with you right now?

This is like my first
time fucking meeting you.

Anyway, after that, that
was pretty much my last time

on this fucking dating app.

I'm over it.

It's bullshit.

(upbeat music)

- Line them up, Vanessa.
- I needed this.

- It has been a long week.

- On the house guys.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- So what are you
guys doing tonight?

- Well, I am looking
for just about any woman

that will have me.

This guy on the other
hand is bouncing

around like a 12 year old

who just had his
first wet dream.

- Dude, fuck you.

- Really?
- Oh, come on.

Look, he's going steady
with his cell phone.

- It's not true.
- Yeah, it is true.

- Yes, it is true.

I believe you.

- Oh, great, well, you
should believe this.

That's over there is my cue, so.

- Go get 'em tiger.
- Oh, I will.

- Good luck.

- I mean, totally false.

- Yeah, right.

I know you.

So what's up with this
puta on your phone?

- Oh really?

- Yes, really?

- What are you jealous?

- Well, I'm curious.

Tell me everything I wanna know.

- No, it's not much to tell.

I mean, I met this
girl on Hitched.

We hit it off,

and I don't know,

things have been
going really great.

- Let me see.

Let me see.

- So you guys are Russian?

Yeah?

Yeah, that's awesome,

you know, I took
Russian in high school

for like two semesters,

you know, I got the
whole thing going on.

- Let me see.

Come on.

I wanna see.
- Okay, all right.

- Oh wow.

She's pretty.
- I know right?

- What's her name?

- Kelly.

- Kelly?

Well, she doesn't
look like a Kelly.

- Okay, whatever.

- Those drinks are
pretty good, right?

They're pretty expensive.

If you ask me they're
they're an aged vodka.

(woman speaks in
foreign language)

- Oh my God, she
just texted you.

- Okay, can I have
that back, please?

- I'm gonna make you smile.

- Vanessa?

- So freaking lame.
- Vanessa, please.

- Are you guys moving
in together or what?

- Oh my God, enough.

(woman speaks in
foreign language)

- So I was wondering,

do you guys want to maybe.

(woman speaks in
foreign language)

What?

- Okay, gosh, Jesus.

- A little privacy.

- You smiled, but that's
a first for you tonight.

- It looks like Kyle found
what he's looking for.

- I was thinking maybe
we could leave here,

and maybe go back to my place,

or somewhere quiet.

- Yeah, sure after
we finish our drinks.

- English.

(woman speaks in
foreign language)

- Maybe not.

- Hey, what did I say?

- Ouch!

- And what are you
looking for, Mr. Dillan?

- I think you know
the answer to that.

(Vanessa sighs)
(upbeat music)

- Didn't wanna go
to Russia anyway.

I like Cubans better.

(upbeat music)

(cheerful rock music)

♪ I came tonight

♪ To put my problems
off to the side ♪

♪ Let the music take me to

(phone rings)

- Dillan?

- Kelly?

Hi.
- Hi.

- It's nice to finally
hear your voice.

- It's nice to finally
hear your voice too.

So tell me about yourself.

- Well, what do you wanna know?

What do you do at Lang?

- Actually, I'm a programmer.

- Really?

What are you working on?

- Well, it's kinda dorky stuff,

but I'm working on an algorithm

that accurately
predicts foreclosures

before they happen.

- That's interesting.

You must be running for
proprietary banking information

through a cross matrix
filter that analyzes spending

and internet search patterns.

Let me guess,

you're using a multi-head hydro

for the banking data,

and a math-based filter to
limit the search patterns.

- Wow! (chuckles)

Yes, that's like
exactly what I'm doing.

Are you a programmer?

- I code a little.

- So on top of being
incredibly smart,

you're also extremely beautiful.

So what do you do for work?

- I manage logistics
for a design-build firm.

- Sounds pretty cool.

- Not as cool as
what you're doing.

- Yeah, it's just,
my boss sucks,

and ever since my
parents passed away,

this guy has been in
charge of my dad's company.

- Yeah, that does suck.

- Yeah, you know, my
father used to always say

that I needed to earn my place
in this world. (chuckles)

That was actually the
last thing he said to me

before he died.

- Dad.

- Yes, Dillan.

- So I wrote a couple songs,

and I wanted to record a demo,

but before you say no,

just hear me out.

- Sit down.

(seagulls calling)

Son, what did I say
about the music?

It is a waste of time.

- It's not a waste of time.

God, why can't you just
take a minute to see

that I want a life in music.

- What are you gonna
do for a living?

You think you're gonna
live here your whole life,

playing that stupid guitar.

It's not happening.

- It's not stupid,

and I'll get a job.

- (chuckles) A job.

- Yeah, a job.
- Doing what?

- I don't know,

I'll figure it out.

- Dillan, I've seen
it a thousand times,

young people with promise
and opportunity pissing away

on some pipe dream,

and they find themselves in
a real pickle later in life.

They are no longer young.

No longer viable.

No longer good looking.

Life has passed them by,

and they haven't earned
a goddamn nickel.

You find these losers
in bars talking

about how they almost made it.

Blaming the world
for their problems,

meanwhile, they can't afford
their fucking bar tab.

Son, you are better than that,

you're a Lang.

You have to earn your
place in the world,

and the music business,

it's just not going to do it.

- Wow, that sucks.

I'm so sorry, Dillan.

But hey, you always
have your music,

and you never have
to give that up.

(upbeat music)

Besides when you
finish this project,

you are gonna make
your father proud.

- Yeah, I think you're right.

- I just wish he'd
be here to see it.

- Oh, he will.

(upbeat music)

- Wow, what are you doing?

- What do you think I'm doing?

(upbeat music)

- Are you?

- Do you wanna fuck me, Dillan?

(Kelly sighs)

(Kelly moans)

- Yes.

- (moans) Do you
wanna fuck me, Dillan?

- Yes, I really do.

(Kelly moans)

- I needed that.

- When can I see you?

- Soon.

Good luck tomorrow.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

(suspenseful music)

Kelly, Kelly?

Hello?

(suspenseful music)

Holy shit!

- I don't wanna take the
show away from, Dillan.

He's been working on
this presentation.

- This is Tom's boy, right?

- That's correct.

- Did we really put some
serious thought about that?

Are we gaining, losing?

- Ready pal?

Relax, you're gonna do fine.

What's the worst
that could happen?

- Yeah.

Yeah, let's do this.

- You all know
Dillan, Tom's son.

He's been working on something

that's very exciting
to say the least.

So Dillan, this is your show,

why don't you tell
us what you got?

- Okay, thank you
for having me here.

Up until today, finding new
and viable real investments

have generally
been network-based,

either you have inside
information on a property,

or company that's in
trouble ahead of time,

or you find out after
it's been made public.

Now obviously, the key in
this business is to be first,

I've come up with an algorithm

based on the company's
existing proprietary data

that can predict

which commercial businesses
are likely to foreclose

even before the owners have
any idea they're in hot water.

Now, as you can see,

this gives us an
unprecedented advantage.

We could literally be first

at every single, distressed,

commercial real estate
opportunity before
anyone even knows

that the company
is in any trouble.

- We can even help some of the
more interesting properties,

you know, a little
push over the cliff,

- Christ, Jack.
- Goddamn it!

- To make money.

I mean, better in
our bank than theirs,

and Dillan, the
software works, right?

- Well, with my limited
ability to test,

yes, it does.

However, in order to fully
test its capabilities,

I will need to load the
software into our mainframe,

so that I can fully integrate
it with our financial

and holding data.

- And Kyle, this
software, it's secure,

and I mean, it's unbreachable?

- This software, I've run
it through countless tests.

It's bulletproof.

In fact, I'll go as far as
to say that it's genius.

- "It's genius," he says.

- Shit, it better be,

or you guys are
gonna be sucking soup

on a bread line somewhere.

- What he's trying to express is

that you better have
your shit dialed in

before you pull the trigger.

- I have a call with
Istanbul within 15 minutes.

Can we vote already, please?

- So I guess we're
ready to vote.

All in favor?

- [All] Aye.

- Okay, well, that's
it, meeting adjourn.

Hey Dillan, just a minute.

- Yes, sir.

- I just wanna say you
did a great job in there.

- Ah, thank you, sir.

- If you pull us off,

our next conversation is
gonna be about your future.

- Ah, Jack, thanks again, sir.

I won't let you down.

- I know you won't, son.

I'm counting on you.

- I can't believe
you just did that.

You do realize how crazy
that presentation was, right?

- Dude, I don't know
what came over me.

I was just on a roll.

- I'll tell you
what came over you.

Legendary stuff, okay?

You do realize like that's it.

We just have one more step.

- I know, man,

but you saw Michael in there.

I mean, that was a
pretty intense warning.

- (blows raspberries) Don't
worry about Michael, okay?

He's just a business guy.

He's trying to get
inside your head.

- Wise words, man.

- You know it.

- Dude, thank you brother.

You know I wouldn't
have been able

to do this without you.

- Probably, yeah.

(Kyle laughs)

- So...

see you at the park tomorrow?

- See you at the park tomorrow.

- Yeah, you are.
- All right, man later.

(peaceful piano music)

(phone dials)

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How'd it go?

- Crushed it.

- I assume you killed it.

- Yeah, yeah, I just got out.

So what are you up to?

- Nothing much, I'm just at
my best to Jessica's house.

You know?

Just relaxing.

- So listen, I was thinking,
you know, we should meet.

- Meet, like a date?

- Yes, meet, like in real life.

I don't know,

what do you think about
Stash tomorrow six o'clock?

- Yeah, I lost Stash.

I love that place.

- All right, it's a date.

I'll text you later to confirm.

Okay?
- Great, I can't wait.

- Yeah, I gotta go.

Bye.
- Bye.

- Oh, my God.

♪ I wanna be in

♪ I knew from the start

♪ I would get in over my head

♪ Your playful heart

- I know what you're thinking,

how could I possibly meet him?

Especially when he
thinks he's been talking

to miss model these
past two weeks.

I would be lying if I
said I wasn't terrified,

but I think this is fate.

Besides, when he meets me,

none of this is
gonna matter anymore.

He's gonna to fall in
love with me, the real me,

and that's what really counts.

Time to set a date.

♪ But it's okay

Hi there, tomorrow
works perfect.

(suspenseful piano music)

Now we just have to
wait for him to respond.

I can't wait.

I can't wait to finally
meet him in person.

Everything is just
gonna be so perfect,

like a fairy tale,

just like Pam and Sam.

I hope he likes what
I've done with my hair,

and I hope he likes my boobs.

I mean, they're kind of small,

but they fit in the hands,

so I'm sure he'll
be okay with that.

He's just gonna love
everything about me,

just like I love everything him.

And we're just gonna live
forever in happiness.

Why the fuck hasn't
he responded yet?

What the fuck?

(sighs) What if he
doesn't respond?

Is he ghosting me?

Or what if he does respond,

and then he stands me up?

Oh my God, he totally
thinks I'm pathetic!

Why the fuck hasn't he
responded yet? (screams)

Fuck you, fuck!

What the fuck are
you looking at?

What the fuck are
you looking at?

(ominous music)

God, why am I so different?

He's never gonna wanna
be with me forever?

It's not gonna be a
fairy tale ending?

(phone buzzes)

Oh my God, he responded.

Oh my God.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

I have to call Jessica.

(phone rings)

Hey girl, what's up?

- (screams) Oh my
God, oh my God!

- Okay, wait, calm down.

I can't understand you.

What are you talking about?

- Oh, I'm going on
a date with the guy?

The guy from Hitched.

- Wait really?

Oh, I was totally wondering
what happened to him.

We've been talking,
and messaging.

- And you've been
keeping all this from me.

- Well, I didn't want you to
think I was obsessing over him,

especially after you
made that comment

about him being my wallpaper.

- Oh gosh, I'm so proud of you.

I'm so happy for you.

Look, I love you.

I wanna hear everything, okay?

But Alexis has to be
going to the Caymans,

and I've got to go
to catch my flight.

- I'll totally call you
after the date tomorrow,

and let you know
how everything went.

(plane engine roaring)

(upbeat music)

- What's up, my man,

what brings you in tonight?

- Hey, how are you, boss?

- Good, good.
- Good, man,

today is a good day.

- Let's hear it.

- I just got this awesome
girl coming in here today.

I mean, we're meeting
for the first time,

but she's smart.

She's beautiful.

I mean, she's everything, man.

I mean, it's the first date,

but I don't wanna speak
too soon or anything,

but it really feels like,
you know, this could be it.

Yo, check her out.

- That's what I'm talking about.

- Right.
- Good luck, man.

It's a winner.
- Thank you.

(upbeat music)

(satirical romance music)

(record rewinds)

(upbeat music)

- Hi.

- Oh, sorry, I'm
meeting someone.

- I know.

I'm the one you're waiting for.

Hi, I'm Kelly.

(tense music)

- Excuse me.

- It's me Kelly from Hitched.

(Dillan laughs)

- That is very funny.

Is this a joke?
- No.

- Did Kyle put you up to this?

- No.
- That fucking son of a bitch.

(laughs)

- Dillan?
- Okay.

- It's me.
- Enough enough.

Please, I really am meeting
somebody here, okay?

Hey, wait...

I know you.

You're the crazy psycho
I blocked a month ago.

- No, no, no, no, no, you-
- Don't.

Don't touch me.

- Dillan?

Dillan, wait, please.

Wait!

Dillan!

Please, please, I can explain.

- Explain, what?

That you faked
your whole profile.

Are you fucking crazy?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- What did you think you
could trick me into liking you

by pretending to
be someone else?

- No, I thought you
liked my profile

because I saw with that
other girl on the street,

and I thought if I looked more
like her you would like me.

- Wait, you've
been following me?

- No, no, no, no.

- Stay the fuck away from me.

- I haven't been following you.

I swear, Dillan.

I jog in the park sometimes,

and when I saw you on
the street with her,

it was just a coincidence.

I swear, Dillan, please.

- Oh my God, you
know for the record,

I blocked you because of
your crazy fucking messages.

- Then why did you even like
my photo in the first place?

- I didn't!

I didn't, it was an accident.

Actually, I find you
utterly fucking repulsive.

(Kelly sobs)

- You fucking skeeve me.

- (sobs) No, Dillan, no.

(somber music)

(sobs) Dillan, no!

Dillan!

(Kelly screams and sobs)

(phone buzzes)

- Vanessa, I've gotta talk.

Meet me at the park.

Call me back.

You are not gonna believe
what fucking happened.

(somber music)

- Dillan!

(suspenseful music)

- So I'm scrolling my way
through hitcheddate.com,

and find my way across a banger,

so I text her.

She's down for anything.

Italian restaurant,
movie theater, done.

She finishes her
meal and my meal.

Bitch could be hungry.

So we go over to
the movie theater

and we're sitting in the corner.

We're making the nasty,

and she's kissing all over me.

I'm kissing all over her.

As my hand goes down
the tunnel of love.

I reach a sweaty,
meaty horse cock.

I let go of that bitch
and I never looked back.

Who knew she could be a he?

No, thank you, hitcheddate.com.

(suspenseful music)

(phone buzzes)

- Hey there.
- Hey.

- What's up?
- Not much, thanks for coming.

- Sure.

Okay, tell me all about it.

What happened?

- She faked her profile.

- (laughs) You got catfished.

- It's not funny.

- Well, I told you
she was a puta.

- Oh, Ness, please.

- Please what?

Don't give me this bullshit.

What were you expecting
from a fucking app?

- I can't believe what
happened last night.

He turned out to be
such a small man.

(phone buzzes)

- What is this a lecture now?

- You know what?

I don't have time for this shit.

(speaks in foreign language)

- Okay, okay.

Stop.

I'm sorry.

- So worried about what
even the bartender thinks,

what am I not hot enough
for his precious image?

- I called you because
I needed a friend.

I don't wanna fight
about this, please.

- Okay?

- When someone you love
plays with your feelings,

that's just sick manipulation.

Was he trying to trick
me into feeling for him

with stories about
his dead father?

- I just feel so
stupid, you know?

- Why?

- She ended up being some psycho
that I blocked a month ago.

- Well, that's fucked up.

- Yeah.

- Big deal, his father
wasn't proud of him.

Get over it.

Oh, poor little Dillan,

daddy isn't proud.

Daddy, doesn't like the guitar.

- Dillan, I'm your friend,

and I love you.

You need to
understand something,

real people, it's
not here in an app.

- I know I wasn't
completely honest

when I posted pictures
of that other woman.

- It's in here,

in your heart.

(both chuckling)

- I know, I know it
might sound corny,

but it's not, it's true.

- Yeah, maybe you're right.

- Thank you.
- Of course.

- But when we connected,

that was the real me.

I blindly gave myself to
him with complete trust.

What does he do with that?

He lies and tricks me into
falling in love with him.

Meanwhile, the whole
time he only wanted her.

- Dillan, don't do that, please.

- He has no idea what it
feels like to be rejected.

He has no idea what
real suffering is.

- Dillan?

(suspenseful music)

come on!

- He has what it feels like

when someone gives
you hope, (sobs)

and makes you believe that
you're really worth it,

when you're not.

(suspenseful music)

Hope. (sobs)

You really gave me hope. (sobs)

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

(Kelly sobs)

(somber guitar music)

I hate you, I hate
you, I hate you. (sobs)

- I find you utterly
fucking repulsive.

I fucking skeeve you.

(Kelly sobs)

(Dillan spits)

(somber music)

(car honks)

(suspenseful piano music)

- Look it's Pam.

Where's Sam?

I never see them apart.

Did he dump her too?

(suspenseful piano music)

And these motherfuckers always
seem to get away with that.

Don't worry, Pam,

I'm not gonna let that happen.

(suspenseful music)

(tense music)

(device chiming)

- Hey pal.

Why so grim?

Ooh, let me guess,

bad date with the phone girl?

- She's a psycho.
- I'm psycho.

- Anyway, I don't really
wanna talk about it.

How about we talk
about something

a little bit more interesting?

- Why, what are
you so happy about?

- Well, my friend, it's not
exactly what I'm so happy about,

but what are you so happy about?

- No.

- Yeah. (chuckles)

- Dude?

Don't fuck with me, please.

- I'm not fucking with you, man,

you did it.

The integration process
went off without a hitch.

- Oh, my God.

- Laugh, laugh, laugh.

- I told you to focus on work.

- It fucking worked.

- Off course, it did.

- Well, I was hoping
to be the first one

to break the big the big news,

but I guess I'm a little late.

- Dillan.
- Yeah.

- Jack would like to see
you in the board room.

- Yeah.

- Shit!

(sinister music)

(suspenseful music)

- Hi sir.

- Hey, please have a seat
- Yeah, sure.

- Well, I wanted to let you know

that the board's
carving out something

that I think you're
gonna be very happy with.

Dillan, I wish your father
was here to see you now,

he'd be very proud.

- Thank you, sir.

I wish he were here too.

- Oh, please, call me Jack,

but he used to talk
quite a bit about

how proud he was of you.

- Really, I always thought
I just disappointed him.

- Well, yeah, Tom was tough,

but oh man, he used
to tell me stories

about how the cops would
have to come to your house

'cause the band was
playing too loud, huh?

We'd laugh our asses off,

talking about you,

and all the stunts
that you'd pull.

You were something,
huh? (laughs)

Geez!

- Yeah God, I just always
thought I pissed him off.

- He was very proud of you.

You're a lot like him, you know.

He always used to
say that he hoped

that one day you'd understand
why he was so hard on you.

- It was his biggest
fear, really.

- I wish I knew
that side of him.

- Dillan, you are
that side of him.

- Yeah.

Thanks again, Jack.

- Don't think me son,

you earned it.

(tense music)
(duck quacks)

(Kelly laughs)

- Oh my God.

I am so happy you came
over for dinner tonight.

I'm so glad you
changed your mind.

- Me too.

And you look
gorgeous by the way.

- Really, I look gorgeous?

- Really, I look gorgeous?

- You do.

- Thank you, it's a new dress.

- Thank you, this
is a new dress.

- Well, it suits you.

- I am so happy you came
over for dinner tonight.

I'm really glad you
changed your mind.

I always knew this was fate.

- By the way, this
food is incredible.

- You love it.
- I love it.

- You love it?

It's duck.

It's my first time making it.

- My friend knows the chef,

and she recommended it to me.

- My friend Pam,

she's the one who recommended
it for tonight's dinner.

(suspenseful music)

(ominous music)

(woman laughs)

- Do you not like your dinner?

You hardly touched it.

(sighs) I thought
you like dark meat,

just like that
whore in the street.

Look at what my friends sent me.

He made it himself.

Have you ever heard of Rohypnol?

This stuff is like
five times stronger.

Wanna try some?

- Yes, so I met this
girl, right, online.

- A little in my wine.

- So you think you're like,

you've found a great match.

- [Kelly] Try it.

- So I meet her at a bar,

and I'm thinking I'm gonna
meet the woman of my dreams.

- I said try it!

- And then I get to
meeting this girl,

and she catfished me.

- Oh my gosh.
- This has to be mistake.

I thought I was dreaming.

(Kelly sobs)

I think she said, "Yeah, I'm
the one you're waiting for."

(woman laughs)

I couldn't believe it.

I was like.

- Fucking hate you!

(plates cluttering)

I hate you. (sobs)

(somber piano)

(suspenseful music)

(tense music)

(car engines revving)

(suspenseful music)

- So when I was teaching my
yoga class the other day.

- Ah, is there any messages?

- No messages, but I
did get this envelope.

Do you know who this is?
- Dillan, yeah, yeah,

that's my best friend.

Yeah, I'll make sure he gets it.

Thanks.

- Anyway, when I
teach my yoga classes.

(tense music)

That midget had been in
the back row all week.

(Kyle knocks)
- It's open.

- Bro, you are ready for
the big launch today?

- As ready as I'll ever, man.

- Cool, lady at the front desk
asked me to give this to you.

I don't know what it is.

Apparently, it's urgent.

- Yep, thanks.

- So you're out there, bro.
- Yeah.

(suspenseful music)

- Lang Holding,
here we go, again.

(phone buzzes)

Fuck you, Alexis.

(phone buzzes)

(phone rings)

(suspenseful music)

- Yeah.

Yeah, big day,
launch. very excited.

- Prepare to be penetrated.

Fucking ruin your life.

You cock-sucking asshole.

(ominous music)

- The 12th, I'll be there.

No problem.

You need me to come up?

Yeah.

(tense music)

(machine shuts down)

(suspenseful music)

(computer beeps)

(tense music)

- Get him up.

Get him up!
- What's going on?

- You know what's going on?

- Fuck, it's all locked up.

- Pull the goddamn plug,

shut the fucking thing down.

- It doesn't work
like that, Jack.

- What did you do?
- What the fuck did you do?

- What's goin on?
- I wanna the entire,

what did you do?
- The entire server

is crashing.

It's all gone, man.

It's going,

- What happened?

(Kelly laughs)

- Who's laughing now?

Are you making daddy proud?

- You're finished
here, all right?

- What is going on?
- Is he proud now?

- What is this?

- That was in a package,
Kyle, brought me this morning.

- What package?

What is it?
- Jesus Christ,

it might have a virus or a
fucking Trojan horse on it.

- Shit!

Get that downstairs.

Have it checked out.

I wanna know what
damage has been done.

- I told you to have your shit
dialed in, damn it, focus!

- And you, you little piece
of shit, you're fired.

- Jack?
- I want him escorted out

of the building.

- Jack, I swear,
- Jack?

- I had nothing to do with this.

- Jack!
- You fucking,

you're going down, man.
- Jack, Jack, come on, Jack.

- You know what you did.
- Jack?

- You know what you did.

You're lucky if you don't
end up in jail, son.

Your father is rolling
over in his fucking grave.

- Don't you dare
talk about my father.

You hear me, jack.

I will fucking kill you.
- If only your father

could see you now!

I will fucking kill you, Jack.
- Get him out of here.

- Fuck you, fuck you, Jack.
- Get him out!

(Jack panting)

Sorry, Tom.

(suspenseful music)

- (sobs) Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Okay, all right.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Okay, okay, okay.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, pick up.

(phone buzzes)

(phone dials)

Hey bro, I can't believe

what fucking just
happened in there.

Look, just call me back when
you got a second, all right?

- Tell Jack, I'm sorry.

Oh my God.

I'm sorry bro.

(suspenseful music)

(phone buzzes)

Talk to me bro.

- Everything's going
crazy around here.

- Okay, did you
hear anything yet?

- Look, as far as, whatever
the hell, this thing is,

it literally shut down
the entire mainframe.

We can't get anything.

- Holy fuck.

- And as far as the source,

there's nothing,
absolutely nothing.

Whoever did this just
fucked us all together.

- So you believe me?

Oh Christ, man, I know I
shouldn't have blown up

on Jack like that, man.

- Jack?

You're worried about
Jack right now.

Dillan, as your best friend,

get your head out of your ass.

They're talking about
prosecution here, man.

Do you wanna go to jail?

Because I don't.

- Let me know if you
find anything out.

(upbeat music)

- Is everything okay?
- I need a shot.

- Of course.

- Another.

(upbeat music)

Another.

- What?
- Another.

- Come on.

Please, tell me what's going on?

- Another.
- You know what?

That's it.

I'm sorry.

You can't do this.

Look at the time,

I just opened it and
you're drinking like this.

I don't get it.

Please, tell me what's going on.

- What do you care, okay?

- Can I have another
shot, please?

- Don't be an asshole,

or I'll throw you the
fuck out of here, okay?

And you know I will.

- I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry.

I just lost my job.

- Wait, what?

That's impossible.

I mean, it's your dad's company.

What are you talking about?

(suspenseful music)

- You know, I actually I
have no idea what happened,

but I gotta hit the head.

I'll tell you about
it when I get back.

Just one more and a
vodka soda, please.

- Yeah, I'm out of soda.

- Surprise me.

- Okay, but that's
it after this.

(upbeat music)

Hi there.

How can I help you?

- Just a water.

I'm meeting my friend.

He lost his job today.

- Your friend?
- Mm-hmm.

- Who are you?
- I'm Stacy.

- So Stacy, how do
you know Dillan?

- We met in a coffee
shop one afternoon.

He was watching me code.

liked my work,

came over and started
talking to me.

- Is that right?

- Yeah, actually we
really hit it off.

- Well, good for you.

- On second thought,

I'll take a vodka soda.

- Well, I'm out of soda,

so I will have to go to
the back and grab some,

if that's okay.
- No problem.

- Oh, all right.

(Vanessa speaks in
foreign language)

- Bye bitch, take
your fucking time.

(phone buzzes)

Nope.

(blues guitar music)

- (sighs) Isn't this
just fucking perfect.

- Just wait.

- Are you following me again?

- Yes, but can you
just give me one second

before you freak out?
- Yes.

- Listen, I came here
today to apologize to you.

I'm really sorry.

I was totally crazy,

and you didn't deserve that.

I'm so sorry.

- I got fired today.

- Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

- Yeah, me too.

- Truce?

- Yeah, truce.

(blues guitar music)

(suspenseful music)

- What's wrong?

Are you all right?

A little too much to drink.

- You see my phone?

- Oh, I haven't
seen it anywhere.

Are you sure you didn't
leave it in the car?

- I didn't leave it in the car.

I left it right here on the bar.

- I don't know,

I don't see anything

Are you sure you're okay?

- Yeah, I'm just (indistinct).

(suspenseful music)

Wow, you know, you really are
fucking repulsive. (laughs)

- I know, baby.
(Dillan laughs)

Come on, come on.
- Oh sit. (laughs)

Oh, where's my phone.

- Come on. (chuckles)

- Where is my phone?
- Let's get you out of here.

- Oh my God.

- Come on big guy,
the party is over.

- Oh, no, the party is
just beginning in here.

(seagulls calling)

♪ We let this go too far

♪ You really left a scar

♪ The silence is my hell

♪ I hope you're

- Can you call him,

Can you get him on he line?

- No.

- He'll probably call back.

Hey, you need to do it, okay.

So who the fuck did it?

♪ It's like deaf
into the wind ♪

♪ There's a sadness

- We're on the
same fucking team.

Stop pointing at me with your
fucking glasses, goddamn it!

- Well, it's the
end of the line.

Well. It's the end of the line.

♪ There's no oxygen in there.

♪ So I suffocate

♪ With your tears as
you watch me wait ♪

- Will you fucking get out
of here, Captain Underpants.

- Just get the fuck
out of here, right?

♪ Just to say

♪ Something kind oh to me

♪ Something kind oh to me

♪ Just one word was all I need

(suspenseful music)

(Kelly shushes)

(Kelly laughs)

- Don't be scared.

I'm sorry, are you
trying to say something?

- What are you gonna do to me?

- Not what I'm
going to do to you,

but what I'm already doing.

- You fucking, bitch!

That was you?

(Kelly laughs)

- Correction, present
tense, Dillan.

Present.

Do you know why they
call the now the present?

- What the fuck are
you talking about?

- Answer the question?

Do you know why they
call the now the present?

- I don't know, why?

- Because the present is a gift.

What kind of gift do you
think I have for you?

- I don't want any gifts.

I don't deserve any presents.

- (chuckles) But I assure you.

You do.

You are going to get
exactly what you deserve.

- Look, man, please.

I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry.

That's my phone.

Wait, you stole my phone?

- Oops.

Yes, I stole it and cracked it.

So interesting what you can
find on someone's phone.

Is this what you want?

Is this why we
can't be together?

- We're just friends, I swear.

- Yeah, sure you are. (sobs)

I know you've been fucking her!

You've been fucking
her the entire time

you were talking to me.

You lying, cheating bastard.

- What?

I've known Vanessa
since elementary school.

- Don't you say her name!

(phone buzzes)

Huh, speak of the devil.

Hey Dillan, are you okay?

Did you leave with that girl?

Please, let me know
what's going on.

Call me.

(laughs) Actually, I don't
care about that fucking bitch.

What really interests me
are these other messages?

- Kyle

- Hey bro, we found
the source of the hack.

Jack knows it wasn't you.

Come back in.
- You fucking bitch!

- But wait, there's more.

Hey brother, why
haven't you answered?

Is everything okay?

I'm starting to worry.

Oh, he's worrying.

- Fuck you!

(Kelly laughs)

- And then there's a bunch of
voicemails, blah, blah, blah.

Too bad, so sad.

So sorry.

- Fuck you!

(Kelly laughs)

Why are you doing this to me?

- Why?

Why?

You tell me why?

Why is it that men
never know why?

Is it because they're just dumb,

or are they
pretending to be dumb,

or are they just
trying to make us think

that we're crazy,

or are they that
disconnected from reality?

Why?

(Dillan sobs)

Are you crying?

You don't get to cry.

- I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry.

- What?
- I'm sorry.

- You're sorry?

You're sorry.

Sorry for what?

(suspenseful music)

sorry for what?

- I'm sorry about
everything, okay?

(Dillan sobs)

(suspenseful music)

- Ugh, pathetic!

You're not even a real man.

Pathetic, sad,
repulsive, Dillan.

(tense music)

(Kelly grunts)

- I'll kill you.

I'll kill you!

(knife thuds)

I'll fucking kill
you, you understand?

I will kill you,

you sick bitch!

(tense music)
(kelly screams)

(chair thuds)

(Kelly groans)

(dramatic music)

(knife thuds)

(Dillan grunts)

(tense music)

(knife thuds)

♪ How many times will you
let somebody put you down ♪

♪ And make you frown

♪ About your life

♪ How many times will you let
somebody show disrespect ♪

♪ Without any regret
for making you upset ♪

♪ And when you think
you've had enough ♪

♪ You solve your problems
with a butchered knife ♪

♪ You pull their hair
and cut their throat ♪

♪ Just go left to right

♪ And say good night
problem solved ♪

♪ The devil made me do it

♪ It's not gonna fly

♪ The devil made me do it

♪ It's not gonna fly

♪ And I can see
right through you ♪

♪ Even when you lie

♪ What do really want to

♪ What's going on inside

♪ Yeah

♪ We're gonna live
here forever ♪

♪ No, we'll never
run out of time ♪

♪ Do you wanna feel
the kiss of the angels ♪

♪ While your█e swimming
in like a fire ♪

♪ Do you wanna live
like this forever ♪

♪ Never, never, never,
never be afraid ♪

♪ Of what you find
in your mind ♪

♪ Do you wanna feel the
kiss of the angels ♪

♪ The devil made me do it

♪ It's not gonna fly

♪ The devil made me do it

♪ It's not gonna fly

♪ The mirror's laughing at you

♪ The way you fake a smile

♪ The lies that they are
telling you

♪ Makes you feel inside

♪ Yeah

♪ We're gonna live forever

♪ No, we never really die

♪ Don't you wanna feel

♪ The kiss from the angels

♪ While your█e swimming
in like a fire ♪

♪ Do you wanna live
like this forever ♪

♪ Never, never
never, never, never ♪

♪ Be afraid of what you
find in your mind ♪

♪ Do you wanna feel
the kiss of the angel ♪