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1
00:01:06,928 --> 00:01:09,897
Tuesday, 11:15 p.m.
2
00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:11,899
If you know anything
about Chicago politics,
3
00:01:11,933 --> 00:01:15,144
you'll understand why
a 63-year-old ward captain...
4
00:01:15,178 --> 00:01:19,217
was braving the ungentle hour
and the less-gentle streets.
5
00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:23,911
You see, Ward Captain
Leo J. Ramutka was returning
home from a wake--
6
00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:26,983
an auf Wiedersehen
to a loyal registered voter...
7
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:31,574
he knew would one day
meet him in that great
polling station in the sky.
8
00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:33,817
What Ward Captain Ramutka
failed to foresee...
9
00:01:33,852 --> 00:01:36,889
was just how soon
that meeting would be.
10
00:01:36,924 --> 00:01:39,306
- No!
11
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:41,031
No! No!
12
00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:22,659
Roger, David-Niner.
Your request is a roger.
13
00:02:22,694 --> 00:02:26,180
Coroner's unit
at 113 Petrosky,
North Side.
14
00:02:26,215 --> 00:02:29,494
See Captain Rausch. Over.
15
00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,461
Wednesday, 11:42 p.m.
16
00:02:31,496 --> 00:02:35,293
113 Petrosky. It wasn't
a celebrated address,
17
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:38,848
the sort one gets
excited over or stores
in his mental trousseau,
18
00:02:38,882 --> 00:02:42,334
but the name
on the radio was--
Captain Vernon W. Rausch.
19
00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:45,613
To a reporter,
he was the Edward R. Murrow
of homicide.
20
00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:47,926
His list of credits reach
back into the mid-'50s...
21
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,516
and the infamous
Mercer-Dobrantz murders.
22
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:53,380
He was a good cop,
allegedly great.
23
00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:55,761
So what do you say
to a living legend?
24
00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:58,039
- Hi there.
- Mmm? Hey.
25
00:02:58,074 --> 00:03:00,283
- Carl Kolchak, I.N.S.
- Carl.
26
00:03:00,318 --> 00:03:03,217
I was wondering, just
what's underneath there?
27
00:03:03,252 --> 00:03:06,462
Leo Ramutka,
ward captain, 44th.
28
00:03:06,496 --> 00:03:08,118
Ward captain? Really?
29
00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:10,466
Please,
no political questions.
30
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,744
- I'm not an authority.
- Yes, but--
31
00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:18,059
Yes, Carl, an arrow.
32
00:03:18,094 --> 00:03:20,096
An arrow?
It looks like a V-2.
33
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:23,306
On the face of it,
a crude atavistic device.
34
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:25,308
Retrogression,
one might suppose.
35
00:03:25,343 --> 00:03:27,379
But you consider this,
if you will.
36
00:03:27,414 --> 00:03:30,140
- Yes, yes, sure.
- Good.
37
00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:33,420
A missile this size can be
as deadly as it is silent.
38
00:03:33,454 --> 00:03:36,595
Recall, if you would,
its extensive use
by British commandos...
39
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:39,978
- throughout
the Second World War.
- Oh!
40
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,843
You mean, you suspect
some guy who thinks he's
a British commando?
41
00:03:42,877 --> 00:03:45,673
- No.
- Well-- Oh.
42
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:48,228
I guess
I'm a little confused.
43
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,299
You think you know
who did it, don't you?
44
00:03:50,333 --> 00:03:52,301
- Yes--
- Uh-huh.
45
00:03:52,335 --> 00:03:54,441
- And no.
- Eh?
46
00:03:54,475 --> 00:03:57,616
As you well know, Carl,
Leo Ramutka was
a ward heeler,
47
00:03:57,651 --> 00:04:01,896
and like any human being
in public life, he was prone
to antagonism.
48
00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:05,314
- They collect...
like river silt.
- Mmm.
49
00:04:05,348 --> 00:04:07,281
Not that I'm speaking
ill of the dead,
you understand.
50
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:09,490
Oh, certainly not.
Certainly not.
51
00:04:09,525 --> 00:04:13,632
Let me tell you something, Carl.
Think of Greater Chicago.
52
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:16,014
Six million personalities
pressed together
in a configuration--
53
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,636
Could I get this on tape?
54
00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:20,950
- as complex and--
- Excuse me. Just--
There we go.
55
00:04:20,984 --> 00:04:23,263
Would you mind?
56
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:27,301
- Six million personalities
pressed together--
- No. "Think of Chicago"--
57
00:04:30,649 --> 00:04:32,686
Think of Greater Chicago.
58
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,206
Six million personalities
pressed together...
59
00:04:36,241 --> 00:04:40,728
in a configuration
as complex and as
dynamically rigorous...
60
00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:42,868
as it is alienating.
61
00:04:42,903 --> 00:04:48,218
Six million sets of needs,
wants, desires,
62
00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:51,981
cries in the night.
63
00:04:52,015 --> 00:04:54,880
"Want me. I want you.
64
00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:58,850
Understand me.
I am a person."
65
00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:01,093
Disintegration
of the family,
66
00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:04,856
unbridled
vertical mobility--
67
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:07,928
the pressure cooker
of human disappointments.
68
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:13,520
Carl, understand the apathetic
atomized personality.
69
00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:17,144
And, well,
sooner or later, he...
70
00:05:18,145 --> 00:05:20,699
or she... erupts.
71
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:23,253
"She, she." You said she.
You think it's a woman?
72
00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:26,740
Well, I like to call
him or her Mr. X.
73
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:29,674
Mr. X.? Why Mr. X.?
John Doe?
74
00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:32,849
Yeah. It's a lot more
professional than calling
him a nut or a freak...
75
00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:34,886
or something like that.
76
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:39,511
- No, you've gotta respect
people's feelings, Carl.
- Yes.
77
00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,479
The next night, 10:20 p.m.
78
00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:44,378
If Leo Ramutka's
popularity, or lack of it,
79
00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:47,001
was born of ballots
and political patronage,
80
00:05:47,036 --> 00:05:49,349
Rolf Danvers got his
more directly.
81
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,385
His was the allure
of ready cash...
82
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:55,527
and the deeds to
several square blocks
of prime Chicago real estate.
83
00:05:55,562 --> 00:05:57,564
However, within seconds,
the only real estate...
84
00:05:57,598 --> 00:06:00,601
that would matter
to Rolf Danvers would be
a small plot he owned...
85
00:06:00,636 --> 00:06:02,948
in a memorial park
near Old Town.
86
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,887
Negative.
Last night's statement...
87
00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:14,512
is no longer
functionally descriptive.
88
00:06:14,546 --> 00:06:17,307
And a negative
is also appropriate
to the second part...
89
00:06:17,342 --> 00:06:18,792
of the second question
you asked.
90
00:06:18,826 --> 00:06:21,553
There is no--
I repeat-- no reason
to believe that the death--
91
00:06:21,588 --> 00:06:24,660
Did you know
that there's a rumor going
around the pressroom?
92
00:06:24,694 --> 00:06:29,527
Homicide is a very
democratic institution.
One more question.
93
00:06:29,561 --> 00:06:32,357
- Allow me to rephrase that--
- Negative. One more question.
94
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,947
Captain, regarding the death
of Ward Captain Ramutka.
95
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:39,916
It has been rumored
among the press that you're
combing the 14th Precinct...
96
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:43,368
looking for a woman
disguising herself
as a British commando?
97
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,544
- What do you have to say
about that? Any explanation?
-
98
00:06:46,578 --> 00:06:49,236
- Is that true?
- Captain, please,
I need something.
99
00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:53,516
That'll be all,
ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
100
00:06:53,551 --> 00:06:56,070
Please, no more questions.
101
00:06:57,658 --> 00:07:00,316
Carl, I see you're
making yourself at home.
102
00:07:00,350 --> 00:07:02,352
- Yeah.
- Coffee?
103
00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:06,149
I imagine you're here
by way of journalistic
endeavor, right?
104
00:07:06,184 --> 00:07:10,464
Uh, yes,
as a matter of fact--
those murders, remember?
105
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:12,639
You've got a quick wit,
Carl. I like that.
106
00:07:12,673 --> 00:07:14,641
It shows a proclivity
to cope.
107
00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:18,334
- Yeah, well,
thank you, Captain.
- Don't mention it.
108
00:07:18,368 --> 00:07:21,095
Now if I read your
body language correctly,
109
00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:23,891
you want to ask me
what killed Rolf Danvers.
110
00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:28,033
- Right.
- He was stabbed.
111
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:30,933
- Stabbed.
- You know.
112
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:34,281
Yes, of course,
but stabbed by what?
113
00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:37,249
Fair question.
Something round and sharp.
114
00:07:37,284 --> 00:07:41,253
I'd say a structural
facsimile to an ice pick.
115
00:07:41,288 --> 00:07:43,359
Ice pick. Uh-huh.
116
00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:46,396
There is, however,
one disconcerting wrinkle
to that premise.
117
00:07:46,431 --> 00:07:50,228
This particular instrument
would have to have
a three-inch diameter.
118
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:55,336
- Then it isn't an ice pick.
- All right. I'll buy that.
119
00:07:55,371 --> 00:07:59,340
I can buy a direct question,
and I respect you for it.
120
00:07:59,375 --> 00:08:02,171
Thank you, Captain.
121
00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:04,380
Now then--
what killed him?
122
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:11,491
- Captain?
- Hmm?
123
00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:14,286
What killed him?
124
00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:16,634
- Society.
- Soc--
125
00:08:16,668 --> 00:08:18,877
In a manner of speaking,
naturally.
126
00:08:18,912 --> 00:08:22,018
Captain,
in a manner of speaking,
two gentlemen are dead...
127
00:08:22,053 --> 00:08:27,921
of two very bizarre means--
an oversized arrow
and an obese ice pick.
128
00:08:27,955 --> 00:08:30,233
Now I cannot minimize
the concern that I have...
129
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:32,477
that these murders
are somehow interrelated...
130
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:36,550
if for no other reason
than that you're handling
the investigations of both.
131
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:41,244
Ah! That last one
is an excellent point.
Excellent point.
132
00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:44,178
It shows an inherently
lucid administrative
insight, Carl.
133
00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:47,009
Yeah, but how about
the first one, huh?
134
00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:49,943
That the murders
are intertwined,
interlocked?
135
00:08:49,977 --> 00:08:54,154
Do you know there
were one-seventh as many
ice-pick killings...
136
00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:56,984
last year
as there were in 1942?
137
00:08:57,019 --> 00:09:02,058
- In 1942?
- Technology, Carl.
138
00:09:03,473 --> 00:09:09,549
Um, ice comes in cubes
these days.
139
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,930
Ready-made, you see?
140
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:13,622
Wait a minute.
141
00:09:13,656 --> 00:09:16,521
Are you telling me
that there were ice cubes
at the scenes of both murders?
142
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,212
- No, not at all.
- Then what?
143
00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:22,389
Not at all, Carl.
Look. All right.
144
00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:28,153
Perhaps we can approach this
a little less directly.
145
00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:30,155
Less directly?
146
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,200
Thursday, 2:12 p.m.
147
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:42,961
Extricating myself from
Captain Vernon W. Rausch...
148
00:09:42,996 --> 00:09:45,688
cost me two hours
of precious time
wherein I learned...
149
00:09:45,723 --> 00:09:48,070
that the only thing
more maddening
than certain cops...
150
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:50,486
was certain educated cops.
151
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,282
I was in the mood for
some fast, straight answers,
152
00:09:53,316 --> 00:09:57,355
so I headed for
the straight arrow
himself, Pop Stenvold.
153
00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:00,910
- Hi, Pop.
- What do you want
this time, Kolchak?
154
00:10:00,945 --> 00:10:03,292
Oh, Pop, is that any way
to talk to me?
155
00:10:03,326 --> 00:10:07,814
Look,
it's your old collaborator,
your old friend Carl.
156
00:10:07,848 --> 00:10:09,781
Something's
new around here.
What is it?
157
00:10:09,816 --> 00:10:12,612
Oh, you've got
a new eagle, right?
158
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:15,994
Same old eagle,
same old line of bushwa.
159
00:10:16,029 --> 00:10:18,203
- When do we start, Kolchak?
- Later, later.
160
00:10:18,238 --> 00:10:20,585
- Could you tell me
what this is?
- It's an arrow.
161
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,794
I know it's an arrow,
but what kind of an arrow?
162
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:27,005
All right. Chapter three.
163
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,076
In the 11th summer
of my life--
164
00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:31,078
You don't know, right?
165
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:33,736
Okay. If you don't know,
you don't know.
166
00:10:33,771 --> 00:10:36,152
Harry Truman
said that in 1949.
167
00:10:36,187 --> 00:10:38,879
- Ol' Harry really say that?
- Ol' Harry really said it.
168
00:10:38,914 --> 00:10:40,985
- All right. I do know.
- Aha!
169
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:43,677
It come from a crossbow,
Middle Ages.
170
00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:47,301
I couldn't sell that
item in here if I tried.
You know what they want?
171
00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:50,995
They want guns and elevator
shoes and karate lessons.
172
00:10:51,029 --> 00:10:53,894
- Suppose I want a crossbow?
- Use your head, will you, Carl?
173
00:10:53,929 --> 00:10:55,931
- You see the size
of that arrow?
- Yeah.
174
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:59,451
It'd take a winch to cock
the mechanism. About 300
pounds of pressure at least.
175
00:10:59,486 --> 00:11:02,662
- I don't care about that.
I want one.
- Nah, no, you don't.
176
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,871
Yes, I do.
Where do I get one?
177
00:11:04,905 --> 00:11:06,700
All right.
I'll tell you what you do.
178
00:11:06,735 --> 00:11:08,150
- You walk out that door.
- Yeah?
179
00:11:08,184 --> 00:11:09,703
- You get in your car.
- Yeah?
180
00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:11,118
- And you start driving.
- Uh-huh?
181
00:11:11,153 --> 00:11:13,224
And when you come
to the 14th century,
182
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:16,089
- ask your social worker.
- Social worker?
183
00:11:16,123 --> 00:11:20,265
Yeah, a social worker.
A little 23-year-old chippie
comes in here and tells me,
184
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:23,061
"Any man can afford
his own business
can afford his own teeth."
185
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:26,582
That's what's got your nose
out of joint!
186
00:11:26,616 --> 00:11:29,792
Why didn't you tell me?
Here, you need some dollars
for some molars.
187
00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:33,969
No, no. Keep it, and we'll
do a couple more chapters
of my biography.
188
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:36,419
Anything but that.
Here, take the money
for the teeth.
189
00:11:36,454 --> 00:11:40,216
As you may recall
in our last chapter--
190
00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:44,048
As you may recall
in our last chapter,
Cousin Rusty and me...
191
00:11:44,082 --> 00:11:48,604
was spending our 11th summer
in Green Lake, Wisconsin.
192
00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:50,295
Thursday, 11:59 p.m.
193
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:53,505
There was a saying amongst
the hallowed data banks
of industry...
194
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:57,820
that when
Brewster Hocking slept,
so did "K.A.L.C.,"
195
00:11:57,855 --> 00:12:01,721
an acronym
for the Canadian-American
Leisure Corporation.
196
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:06,070
In 12 short years, CALC--
C.A.L.C.-- and Hocking...
197
00:12:06,104 --> 00:12:08,624
had risen from a humble
catering truck company...
198
00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:12,214
to the world's 14th fastest
rising conglomerate,
199
00:12:12,248 --> 00:12:16,597
digesting a plethora of
diverse industries from whiskey
distilleries in Scotland...
200
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:19,600
to that nationally
famous analgesic
for the morning-after.
201
00:12:24,467 --> 00:12:26,538
Charles.
202
00:12:27,816 --> 00:12:30,197
Charles,
stop that blasted clanking.
203
00:12:30,232 --> 00:12:33,960
-
204
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,348
What is this?
205
00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:46,455
Is this some kind of joke?
Charles!
206
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:52,772
Charles!
207
00:12:57,328 --> 00:12:59,502
Oh, my God!
No, please!
208
00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:02,298
For the Lord's sake, don't!
Take anything you want!
209
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,543
Look, I'll give you money.
210
00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:08,615
Charles! Oh, no!
211
00:13:14,655 --> 00:13:17,555
Don't just stand there,
you idiot! Help me!
212
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,522
One does not mix
one's centuries, madam!
213
00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:22,180
You're destroying
continuity, all of it!
214
00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:26,081
You're telling me
about continuity?
Me?
215
00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,704
That's genuine Provençal,
13th century!
216
00:13:28,738 --> 00:13:31,638
Provençal, schmovençal!
217
00:13:31,672 --> 00:13:34,883
That thing is blue.
That thing is black.
218
00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:39,128
I will not tolerate
a black-and-blue
cocktail lounge.
219
00:13:40,681 --> 00:13:42,960
Unless someone
has decided...
220
00:13:42,994 --> 00:13:46,964
to rename the Camelot Bar
the Bruise Room.
221
00:14:10,573 --> 00:14:12,092
- Hi.
- What do you want?
222
00:14:12,127 --> 00:14:14,163
- I'd like to come in.
- Who are you?
223
00:14:14,198 --> 00:14:18,098
A recorder of events
great and small, an instrument
of the free press.
224
00:14:18,133 --> 00:14:20,204
- I'm a reporter.
- More of that wretched
prepublicity, huh?
225
00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:22,206
Prepublicity? No, no.
226
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,450
All I'm interested in is
to get a little information
about arrows.
227
00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:29,592
"The steady hand
upon the string, the silver
shaft about to spring."
228
00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,285
- Sir Walter Scott.
- Mendel Boggs.
229
00:14:32,319 --> 00:14:35,978
- Huh?
- Mr. Boggs!
230
00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,118
Oh.
231
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:41,087
Now, our sound engineer
will be arriving today,
232
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:43,261
and you will let him in
this time,
233
00:14:43,296 --> 00:14:47,679
and you will tell him
for me that the stereo
components will go in here.
234
00:14:47,714 --> 00:14:50,337
- Inside? Inside
Garrick of Orange?
- Mm-hmm.
235
00:14:50,372 --> 00:14:53,202
- I protest!
I will protest!
-
236
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:57,551
You do that.
And while you're protesting
to whomever you protest,
237
00:14:57,586 --> 00:15:02,625
I will be seeing about
your removal to whomever
removes custodial help.
238
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,076
My title is curator!
239
00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:08,148
Have a nice day, Boggsy.
240
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:16,087
- What was that?
- Minerva Musso.
241
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:20,471
- What's a Minerva Musso?
- An interior decorator
of ill repute.
242
00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:23,405
- What's happening around here?
- I thought you were here
to write it up.
243
00:15:23,439 --> 00:15:25,752
- Me? No, no.
- The grand march of progress--
244
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:31,309
How some soda pop company
is transforming all this
into the Camelot Discotheque?
245
00:15:31,344 --> 00:15:35,279
- May they all rot in Camelot.
- It's gonna cost you
your job, huh?
246
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:39,455
Unless I learn how
to be a bartender
or operate a strobe light.
247
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:42,010
Oh, one must
have faith and hope.
248
00:15:42,044 --> 00:15:44,184
- They all did, you know.
- Who's "they"?
249
00:15:44,219 --> 00:15:48,257
"The knights of yore,
though ten on one,
a lance they bore."
250
00:15:48,292 --> 00:15:50,708
Oh, that's terrific!
That's really very good.
251
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:53,607
Tell me. Would you
consider this to be
an authentic medieval arrow?
252
00:15:53,642 --> 00:15:56,403
The collection here
was so extensive.
253
00:15:56,438 --> 00:16:00,304
They've taken away the best,
the oldest armor, to paint it.
Paint it!
254
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:04,308
They want me
to put in speakers,
tweeters, woofers.
255
00:16:04,342 --> 00:16:06,482
That's absolutely dreadful.
The arrow.
256
00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:09,037
Bolts. A crossbow
arrow's called a bolt.
257
00:16:09,071 --> 00:16:11,004
- Bolt.
- If this was focused properly,
258
00:16:11,039 --> 00:16:13,110
I might be able to make
an intelligent comment.
259
00:16:13,144 --> 00:16:16,044
- Well--
- It has medieval styling.
260
00:16:16,078 --> 00:16:19,357
- It's probably a replica.
- But, uh--
261
00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:23,430
Uh--
262
00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,467
What happened
to the arrows in here?
263
00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,710
Attrition over the years.
264
00:16:27,745 --> 00:16:29,747
High school field trips.
265
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,163
Little thieves,
nasty gum-chewing ferrets.
266
00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:35,925
- Please don't touch.
- Excuse me. I'm sorry.
267
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,997
Let me ask you.
268
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:42,829
Would a bow and arrow--
a bolt like this fit
on a crossbow like that?
269
00:16:42,863 --> 00:16:44,900
Bows are built
to shoot bolts, aren't they?
270
00:16:44,934 --> 00:16:47,247
I'm very busy.
If you'll excuse me, Mr.--
271
00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:49,249
- Kolchak.
- Yeah, whatever.
272
00:16:58,603 --> 00:17:00,605
Easy there, boy. Easy.
273
00:17:08,337 --> 00:17:11,858
- I asked you not to touch!
- All right, all right,
all right!
274
00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:21,764
Hi there. Real good to see
you again, uh, "Lester."
275
00:17:21,799 --> 00:17:24,974
Good to see you too, man,
except I don't know you.
276
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,322
- I bet you know him.
- Oh, yeah.
277
00:17:27,356 --> 00:17:29,979
He used to be some kind of
federal employee, didn't he?
278
00:17:30,014 --> 00:17:32,948
- Yeah, president.
He made out pretty good too.
- That's right.
279
00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:36,779
Ah, ah. Brewster Hocking
checked in here last night,
didn't he? Didn't he?
280
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:38,229
Huh?
281
00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:40,818
Eh? Attaboy.
282
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:51,139
Brewster Hocking.
Oh, yes.
283
00:17:51,173 --> 00:17:53,141
- What hit him?
-
284
00:17:53,175 --> 00:17:56,075
That, my friend,
is the $64 question
around here.
285
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,353
- Even the big
medical minds are stuck.
- Yeah?
286
00:17:58,387 --> 00:18:03,254
If I had to say,
I'd say he was stomped on by
a thousand-pound football shoe.
287
00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:05,981
- Or a mace.
- Mace comes in a little can.
288
00:18:06,015 --> 00:18:09,950
- It doesn't weigh anything.
- Mace, M-A-C-E.
289
00:18:09,985 --> 00:18:12,643
You know, Robert Taylor,
Errol Flynn, King Arthur.
290
00:18:12,677 --> 00:18:15,508
It's a spiked ball
at the end of a chain
that swings around and ar--
291
00:18:18,269 --> 00:18:20,271
Yeah.
292
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,312
Friday, 11:39 a.m.
293
00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:28,762
I heard a brief radio interview
with Brewster Hocking's butler.
294
00:18:28,797 --> 00:18:32,939
I say brief because
butler Charles Johnson
refused to make any comment,
295
00:18:32,973 --> 00:18:36,563
except that he loathed
and despised the press.
296
00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:40,257
Rather than face an ugly
confrontation, I made a detour
to the telegraph office,
297
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:44,468
where an old
and mercenary friend
came through for me.
298
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:49,749
"Dear Carl. Stop.
Please come to Chicago
as soon as possible. Stop.
299
00:18:49,783 --> 00:18:52,717
"Need to talk to you
in person. Stop.
300
00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:55,479
Fraternally yours, Hock."
301
00:18:55,513 --> 00:18:57,929
- Hock.
- Odd, isn't it?
302
00:18:57,964 --> 00:19:03,970
In my 10 years
with Mr. Hocking, I never heard
him referred to as "Hock."
303
00:19:04,004 --> 00:19:06,006
- Well--
- As a matter of fact,
304
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:09,389
I don't recall him
mentioning your name either.
305
00:19:09,424 --> 00:19:12,806
Well, Hock was... Hock.
306
00:19:12,841 --> 00:19:16,914
There's no doubt about that.
That hard-boiled
old son of a gun.
307
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:20,987
I'll never forget our 11th
summer on Lake Wisconsin.
308
00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:23,127
And now to find
that he is dead.
309
00:19:24,784 --> 00:19:27,856
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
Anything stolen?
310
00:19:27,890 --> 00:19:30,617
No. This is the age
of senseless violence.
311
00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:33,517
- Look at the room.
It's hardly touched.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
312
00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:36,036
Oh, yeah, hardly at all.
313
00:19:36,071 --> 00:19:37,935
What happened to this?
314
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:41,145
The police theorize that
the murderer smashed it...
315
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,354
to prevent Mr. Hocking
from calling for help.
316
00:19:43,389 --> 00:19:46,633
Aha! Of course.
Certainly.
317
00:19:46,668 --> 00:19:50,292
Yeah, that's why the phone
on the nightstand there
weren't smashed.
318
00:19:50,327 --> 00:19:53,571
Tell me, Charles.
Was Hocking-- Hock--
319
00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:56,436
- Was he worried about anything?
- He was somewhat concerned...
320
00:19:56,471 --> 00:19:59,991
about a class action suit
against his diet drink
subsidiary.
321
00:20:00,026 --> 00:20:02,856
A man in Michigan
was claiming that...
322
00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:06,619
the sugar substitute
was causing vertigo
and excess hair loss.
323
00:20:06,653 --> 00:20:09,725
Uh-huh.
324
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,763
A diet drink? Really?
I thought that Hock's fortune...
325
00:20:12,797 --> 00:20:15,386
came from cigarette
vending machines and
theater lobby concessions.
326
00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:17,975
- Mr. "Kolchuck"--
- Chak. Kolchak.
327
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:22,013
Mr. Kolchak,
a full five years ago,
Mr. Hocking's company...
328
00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:26,397
bought out most of
the independent soft drink
bottlers in the Midwest...
329
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:30,884
and became known
as the Canadian-American
Leisure Corporation.
330
00:20:30,919 --> 00:20:32,955
Oh, of course. Certainly.
331
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:36,442
Now it was
Mr. Hocking's custom
to send his friends...
332
00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:39,893
case upon case
of mixers at Christmas.
333
00:20:39,928 --> 00:20:43,759
Quinine water, club soda,
ginger ale.
334
00:20:43,794 --> 00:20:45,796
Now why didn't you
ever receive any?
335
00:20:48,212 --> 00:20:53,148
I guess that Hock knew that
I only drank my milk straight.
336
00:20:53,182 --> 00:20:58,671
Oh, sometimes on the rocks,
of course, but usually straight.
337
00:20:58,705 --> 00:21:01,605
Just who are you,
Mr. Kolchak?
338
00:21:01,639 --> 00:21:04,677
I told you.
I'm an old fraternity
brother of Hock's.
339
00:21:04,711 --> 00:21:06,817
Alpha Beta--
340
00:21:06,851 --> 00:21:09,026
Over and out.
341
00:21:30,565 --> 00:21:32,774
Good afternoon. I'm from
the telephone company.
342
00:21:32,808 --> 00:21:34,845
Oh, yeah. Down here.
343
00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:42,749
Are you the gentleman
with the problem?
344
00:21:42,784 --> 00:21:45,407
Yeah, here. No dial tone.
345
00:21:46,443 --> 00:21:49,618
Okay.
346
00:21:49,653 --> 00:21:52,103
- That's right.
No dial tone.
347
00:21:54,278 --> 00:21:57,799
Listen, as long as you're here--
would you mind answering
a few questions for me?
348
00:21:57,833 --> 00:22:02,321
I'm trying to ascertain just how
much pressure it would take to
crush one of these telephones.
349
00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:04,633
You mean to destroy
telephone company equipment?
350
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:06,808
Hypothetically. Unless
you don't know, of course.
351
00:22:06,842 --> 00:22:11,088
I know. Company specs
says 420 pounds.
352
00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:13,953
- P.S.I.?
- P.S.I.
353
00:22:13,987 --> 00:22:15,817
Huh.
354
00:22:15,851 --> 00:22:17,681
This equipment
has been tampered with.
355
00:22:17,715 --> 00:22:20,442
What? Bugged?
We've been bugged?
356
00:22:20,477 --> 00:22:22,996
Don't give me
that "bugged" stuff.
You're a con man.
357
00:22:23,031 --> 00:22:25,551
You got me up here
just to answer
a few questions.
358
00:22:25,585 --> 00:22:28,692
Why, I-- You ever try to
call that business office?
They're always busy.
359
00:22:28,726 --> 00:22:30,694
The least you can do is
put it back together again.
360
00:22:30,728 --> 00:22:36,734
- Well, what have we here?
- What are you doing there?
361
00:22:36,769 --> 00:22:40,186
I see you have
some unauthorized equipment
on these premises.
362
00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:42,257
I had nothing
to do with it.
363
00:22:47,089 --> 00:22:49,678
- Wait a minute.
What's the problem?
- It's all over.
364
00:22:49,713 --> 00:22:53,717
Well, Carl,
what's going on here?
365
00:22:53,751 --> 00:22:57,893
Two of our bootleg telephones
just walked out that door.
366
00:22:57,928 --> 00:22:59,895
- We've had a good thing going.
- Yeah.
367
00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:02,173
Forget about the telephones.
That's not important.
368
00:23:02,208 --> 00:23:07,178
What is important
is that it takes
420 pounds pressure--
369
00:23:07,213 --> 00:23:10,147
P.S.I.--
to crush a telephone.
370
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:13,426
Now it says right here
that a medieval knight
in full armor...
371
00:23:13,461 --> 00:23:15,670
and in full weaponry weighs
well over 400 pounds.
372
00:23:15,704 --> 00:23:17,948
I feel much better.
All my life
I wanted to know...
373
00:23:17,982 --> 00:23:19,984
that a medieval knight
could crush a telephone.
374
00:23:20,019 --> 00:23:24,161
I think three murders were
caused by medieval weapons.
375
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:26,853
Maybe by a guy in armor.
I don't know.
376
00:23:26,888 --> 00:23:29,718
Anyway, I know a place
where there's a whole slew...
377
00:23:29,753 --> 00:23:34,033
of medieval armor and weaponry,
and it's all run
by a very angry man.
378
00:23:34,067 --> 00:23:36,035
So what?
379
00:23:36,069 --> 00:23:38,037
- "So what?"
- Yes.
380
00:23:38,071 --> 00:23:40,557
Well--
381
00:23:40,591 --> 00:23:43,836
So Brewster Hocking,
last night's victim,
owns a soda pop conglomerate,
382
00:23:43,870 --> 00:23:48,047
and they recently acquired
Hydecker Wine Importers
and the Hydecker Museum.
383
00:23:48,081 --> 00:23:50,118
Carl, I didn't understand
anything you just said.
384
00:23:50,152 --> 00:23:52,914
Don't worry about it. You will
as soon as I get through talking
with Minerva Musso.
385
00:23:52,948 --> 00:23:55,330
- Minerva Musso.
- The interior decorator? You?
386
00:23:55,364 --> 00:23:58,160
Yes. We're thinking of
brightening up the office.
387
00:23:58,195 --> 00:24:01,785
You are gonna be replaced
by a Boston fern,
and you, a snapdragon.
388
00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:09,102
Why do I always feel
like I don't belong here?
389
00:24:15,764 --> 00:24:18,664
Friday, 8:58 p.m.
When you're hot, you're hot.
390
00:24:18,698 --> 00:24:22,219
And as I saw a mass
of seemingly unrelated facts
starting to come together,
391
00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:25,878
I knew I was
at least getting warm.
392
00:24:38,891 --> 00:24:40,927
Hello?
393
00:24:43,171 --> 00:24:46,070
Pamela, dear naive Pamela.
394
00:24:46,105 --> 00:24:48,625
Now you have been with
enough ski instructors...
395
00:24:48,659 --> 00:24:52,283
to realize they're
always in a hurry.
396
00:24:52,318 --> 00:24:55,597
It must be something
terribly Freudian
and terribly boring.
397
00:24:56,874 --> 00:24:59,463
- Hello?
- Oh, just a moment, dear.
398
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:02,742
A strange man has just
walked into my boudoir.
399
00:25:02,777 --> 00:25:06,401
No. No, really.
400
00:25:06,435 --> 00:25:08,403
Come in, dear,
and shut the door.
401
00:25:08,437 --> 00:25:11,302
- There's a draft.
- Oh.
402
00:25:12,994 --> 00:25:15,444
Robbery or rape?
403
00:25:15,479 --> 00:25:18,275
- What?
- No, I'm asking him,
robbery or rape.
404
00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:20,311
- He hasn't said.
405
00:25:20,346 --> 00:25:22,313
Neither one,
so don't get excited.
406
00:25:22,348 --> 00:25:25,178
Oh, he says
I shouldn't get excited.
407
00:25:25,213 --> 00:25:29,113
Depressing little man.
408
00:25:29,148 --> 00:25:31,702
Karl Kolchak, I.N.S.
409
00:25:31,737 --> 00:25:34,705
Oh, he's a newspaper man.
410
00:25:34,740 --> 00:25:37,156
That explains it.
411
00:25:37,190 --> 00:25:40,677
- Ring you back, kiddo.
-
412
00:25:40,711 --> 00:25:43,680
Warning, Mr. Reporter.
I shoot from the hip.
413
00:25:43,714 --> 00:25:45,751
The door was open,
so I didn't break in.
414
00:25:45,785 --> 00:25:49,582
I'm not talking about doors.
I'm talking about David Bowie.
415
00:25:49,617 --> 00:25:54,760
You press people are always
pestering me about whether
or not I'll do his house.
416
00:25:54,794 --> 00:25:57,797
I'm... not sure.
417
00:25:58,798 --> 00:26:02,250
I've met David,
and he's charming.
418
00:26:03,354 --> 00:26:05,874
But I'm not sure
our ideas would gel.
419
00:26:05,909 --> 00:26:08,221
- Well--
- Next question.
420
00:26:08,256 --> 00:26:12,018
I'm not here about
David Bowie actually. I'm here
about the Hydecker Museum.
421
00:26:12,053 --> 00:26:14,711
Yuck. That junkyard?
422
00:26:14,745 --> 00:26:17,058
If it wasn't for being
audited last year,
423
00:26:17,092 --> 00:26:19,508
no amount of money could
get me to take the job.
424
00:26:19,543 --> 00:26:23,616
I'm interested
in the curator, uh,
Men-- Men-- Mendel Boggs.
425
00:26:23,651 --> 00:26:25,653
- What do you know about him?
- Mendel?
426
00:26:25,687 --> 00:26:28,725
- Mmm.
- With diligence, he might
make village idiot.
427
00:26:28,759 --> 00:26:31,969
Do you know that he talks
to those iron things?
428
00:26:32,004 --> 00:26:33,971
- Really?
- Those knights, yes.
429
00:26:34,006 --> 00:26:36,387
- What does he say?
- Well, poetry.
430
00:26:36,422 --> 00:26:39,252
He spouts
that doggerel of his.
431
00:26:39,287 --> 00:26:42,739
I came in one morning,
and he was standing there...
432
00:26:42,773 --> 00:26:46,674
in front of a mirror,
waving a pike...
433
00:26:46,708 --> 00:26:50,781
and frothing about
"cleaving things in twain."
434
00:26:50,816 --> 00:26:52,921
Whatever that means.
435
00:26:52,956 --> 00:26:57,305
"Cleaving things in twain."
436
00:26:57,339 --> 00:27:01,343
Well, I know he's
really pretty upset
about the remodeling plans.
437
00:27:01,378 --> 00:27:04,899
Did you ever
hear him threaten anybody,
like Brewster Hocking?
438
00:27:04,933 --> 00:27:07,246
- Hocking?
-
439
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,835
He owns the Hydecker Museum.
He pays your salary.
440
00:27:09,869 --> 00:27:14,494
Oh, yes. But I'm not salaried.
I've never met Mr. Hocking.
441
00:27:14,529 --> 00:27:17,256
I work with the architect.
442
00:27:17,290 --> 00:27:20,742
- Uh-huh. Uh--
-
443
00:27:22,054 --> 00:27:23,089
Did you hear that?
444
00:27:23,883 --> 00:27:27,784
- Huh.
445
00:27:27,818 --> 00:27:29,889
- You got bad pipes
or something?
- I beg your pardon?
446
00:27:29,924 --> 00:27:32,685
I mean, is your dishwasher
broken or--
447
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:36,171
Oh, who knows?
Friday night, party night.
448
00:27:36,206 --> 00:27:38,518
What is that noise?
449
00:27:45,146 --> 00:27:47,079
- Don't you have
a lock on this door?
- What's out there?
450
00:27:48,943 --> 00:27:51,704
Now just a minute!
What's going on here?
451
00:27:51,739 --> 00:27:53,741
- Get in the bathroom!
- I beg your pardon!
452
00:27:53,775 --> 00:27:56,364
Get in the bathroom,
you dumb broad,
and lock the door!
453
00:28:18,904 --> 00:28:21,044
No!
454
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,550
- That's enough, John.
Thank you.
455
00:28:44,584 --> 00:28:47,933
- Well, Carl,
where's the pain?
-
456
00:28:47,967 --> 00:28:50,073
- The base of the skull?
- Yeah.
457
00:28:50,107 --> 00:28:52,213
Just rub back here.
Right back here.
458
00:28:52,247 --> 00:28:55,078
- Just loosen up
the trapezius muscle.
- Trapezius?
459
00:28:55,112 --> 00:28:58,771
- Mm-hmm.
-
460
00:28:58,806 --> 00:29:02,982
No, no. Go easy.
Easy with the light.
461
00:29:03,017 --> 00:29:05,744
Most forms of headache
are accompanied by
photosensitivity.
462
00:29:07,159 --> 00:29:09,575
Just keep on rubbing.
Best thing for
a tension headache.
463
00:29:09,609 --> 00:29:11,784
Tension-- Tension headache?
464
00:29:11,819 --> 00:29:14,131
What tension headache?
My head got bashed in.
465
00:29:14,166 --> 00:29:16,375
Carl, neighbors
heard screams,
466
00:29:16,409 --> 00:29:19,136
and we find you
camped out here
on the floor...
467
00:29:19,171 --> 00:29:22,484
and a woman ax-murdered
right in there.
468
00:29:22,519 --> 00:29:27,041
If I was you, I'd have
a big tension headache.
469
00:29:27,075 --> 00:29:31,459
Oh, no. No,
you can't possibly think
that I killed her...
470
00:29:31,493 --> 00:29:34,013
and then knocked myself out
to wait for you to get here.
471
00:29:34,048 --> 00:29:36,947
- You couldn't
possibly think that.
- Of course I don't think that.
472
00:29:36,982 --> 00:29:41,158
No. What about
my photosensitivity?
473
00:29:41,193 --> 00:29:43,643
This isn't third degree,
Carl.
474
00:29:43,678 --> 00:29:47,855
It's only the first.
Can you intuit my meaning?
475
00:29:47,889 --> 00:29:50,547
I got knocked out
before I knew what hit me.
476
00:29:50,581 --> 00:29:54,413
- What transpired here?
-
What is that stink?
477
00:29:54,447 --> 00:29:57,623
- You're the stink.
- What? Me?
478
00:29:57,657 --> 00:29:59,763
Oh!
479
00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,489
The perfume
must have spilled
all over me.
480
00:30:01,523 --> 00:30:04,664
My lab man tells me it's
called Temptation of Adam.
481
00:30:04,699 --> 00:30:07,909
- Temptation of Adam.
- Pretty strong medicine,
isn't it?
482
00:30:07,944 --> 00:30:12,120
But to the point,
you are a material witness...
to murder.
483
00:30:12,155 --> 00:30:14,364
- What?
- Ah.
484
00:30:14,398 --> 00:30:17,194
I intuit your problem,
Carl.
485
00:30:17,229 --> 00:30:19,748
Feelings of persecution, ah?
486
00:30:19,783 --> 00:30:21,854
Paranoia.
A sense that I,
as an authority figure,
487
00:30:21,889 --> 00:30:26,859
will take away your angle
and give your big story to
other members of the press.
488
00:30:26,894 --> 00:30:29,931
Listen,
that's not paranoia.
That's fact!
489
00:30:29,966 --> 00:30:35,178
All right.
You just be straight with me,
and I'll give you an exclusive.
490
00:30:35,212 --> 00:30:37,801
I've been watching you,
Rausch.
491
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:42,219
For the past two years, you've
been sitting on your laurels,
not to mention your brains.
492
00:30:42,254 --> 00:30:45,498
You're lazy.
Police work bores you.
493
00:30:45,533 --> 00:30:47,604
Those long,
thoughtful pauses
of yours--
494
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:51,056
You're not thinking,
you're sleeping! That's what
you're doing. You're sleeping.
495
00:30:51,090 --> 00:30:54,922
And you don't do
any investigation
anymore at all.
496
00:30:54,956 --> 00:30:58,684
You rely on informants
and tips and ripping off
angles from newsmen.
497
00:30:58,718 --> 00:31:00,720
I wanna know what you got
on those murders.
498
00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:02,757
- Do your own legwork,
you phony.
- Phony?
499
00:31:04,793 --> 00:31:09,212
Picture two weeks
in a drab room downtown,
500
00:31:09,246 --> 00:31:13,423
filling out affidavits,
depositions, forms.
501
00:31:13,457 --> 00:31:17,565
Your traffic record
is pulled. We go over it
with a microscope.
502
00:31:17,599 --> 00:31:20,533
We send your car
through safety inspection.
503
00:31:22,673 --> 00:31:25,607
I didn't see a thing.
504
00:31:25,642 --> 00:31:29,163
Carl, I don't want to work
this weekend.
505
00:31:29,197 --> 00:31:32,235
My wife's
chamber music society
has a supper concert,
506
00:31:32,269 --> 00:31:34,444
and I'm supposed
to write an article
for the police newsletter.
507
00:31:34,478 --> 00:31:37,033
Now, please.
508
00:31:37,067 --> 00:31:40,346
- Nothing.
- Spencer.
509
00:31:42,659 --> 00:31:46,111
Fill that tub in there
with cold water as soon
as Forensics finishes up.
510
00:31:46,145 --> 00:31:48,768
You wouldn't dare.
511
00:31:48,803 --> 00:31:50,874
You'd dare.
512
00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,394
All right. If I told you,
you wouldn't believe it.
513
00:31:53,428 --> 00:31:57,191
She was killed
by a knight in armor.
514
00:31:57,225 --> 00:31:59,434
- A knight in armor?
- I told you you wouldn't
believe it.
515
00:32:01,195 --> 00:32:03,473
Merely because you've been
unreliable in the past...
516
00:32:03,507 --> 00:32:07,408
doesn't mean
that your words
have no value.
517
00:32:07,442 --> 00:32:11,722
After all, as the Bard said,
"There are more things
under the sun...
518
00:32:11,757 --> 00:32:14,139
than are dreamed of in
your philosophy, Horatio."
519
00:32:14,173 --> 00:32:19,523
- No, Kolchak. Carl Kolchak.
- But a knight... in armor?
520
00:32:19,558 --> 00:32:21,560
Make me believe that, Carl.
521
00:32:21,594 --> 00:32:23,803
Because if I find you're
shooting me through the grease,
522
00:32:23,838 --> 00:32:29,706
it'll have a definite
detrimental effect on how we
interface with each other.
523
00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:32,226
You know what's funny?
I intuited that.
524
00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:36,920
I suppose this creature
came squealing to you...
525
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,922
that I was arguing with
that wretched woman, eh?
526
00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,200
That I'd uttered
epithets against her?
527
00:32:41,235 --> 00:32:43,375
I'm sorry, but they
fried my eyeballs.
528
00:32:43,409 --> 00:32:45,825
Are you sure you
don't want an attorney?
529
00:32:45,860 --> 00:32:50,175
For what? To hold my pants
while I change into that?
This is preposterous.
530
00:32:50,209 --> 00:32:52,625
There's no blood on the ax,
the lance or the mace.
531
00:32:52,660 --> 00:32:55,974
- It's been wiped
or cleaned lately.
- Did you clean these lately?
532
00:32:56,008 --> 00:32:59,632
I don't mean with polish.
You see, we found that...
533
00:32:59,667 --> 00:33:03,153
in Miss Musso's murder,
the killer wiped the weapon off
on a silk pillowcase,
534
00:33:03,188 --> 00:33:06,225
and with Mr. Danvers,
on a piece of his sport jacket.
535
00:33:06,260 --> 00:33:10,712
You mean you actually did
some work in between yoga
classes and book reviews?
536
00:33:10,747 --> 00:33:13,439
I never even
knew a Mr. Danvers
or a Mr. Hocking.
537
00:33:13,474 --> 00:33:15,545
Buxbaum.
538
00:33:15,579 --> 00:33:19,790
Buxbaum, will you please help
Mr. Boggs off with his apron?
539
00:33:19,825 --> 00:33:22,034
Give the boys a hand
with the helmet.
540
00:33:24,347 --> 00:33:27,453
Are you sure this is
the armor you saw?
541
00:33:27,488 --> 00:33:30,594
Yes, that, I am sure,
is the armor I saw.
542
00:33:30,629 --> 00:33:32,665
Oh, enough!
543
00:33:33,839 --> 00:33:37,153
All right, boys.
Thank you very much.
544
00:33:37,187 --> 00:33:40,570
Mr. Boggs, anyone else
have access to this museum
at night but you?
545
00:33:40,604 --> 00:33:43,055
I have the only key.
I have nothing to hide.
546
00:33:43,090 --> 00:33:48,543
That's the one I saw.
Who else could've been
wearing it but h-him-- you?
547
00:33:48,578 --> 00:33:52,789
Maybe it wasn't a knight
you saw at all.
548
00:33:52,823 --> 00:33:55,481
Maybe it was
the Tin Woodsman.
549
00:33:55,516 --> 00:33:58,657
Did it dance, sing?
550
00:33:58,691 --> 00:34:00,659
- Did Jack Haley's voice
come out of it?
-
551
00:34:00,693 --> 00:34:03,593
Careful with that!
552
00:34:03,627 --> 00:34:06,423
All right. Then who's
committing these murders?
553
00:34:06,458 --> 00:34:10,565
- How do you account
for what I saw?
- I account for it thusly.
554
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,017
You are a man
who has resorted
to lies and chicanery...
555
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:17,193
to the point
of being pathological.
556
00:34:17,227 --> 00:34:21,197
I believe that you suffer
from autosuggestion.
557
00:34:21,231 --> 00:34:24,303
And in an obsessive desire
to win approval,
558
00:34:24,338 --> 00:34:27,306
expressed through the need
for a big story,
559
00:34:27,341 --> 00:34:32,622
you convince yourself
that what you want to
be true is true.
560
00:34:32,656 --> 00:34:35,142
In short,
561
00:34:35,176 --> 00:34:39,594
- I believe your brain
has turned to onion dip.
-
562
00:34:39,629 --> 00:34:42,632
Mr. Boggs,
I'm sorry for the trouble.
563
00:34:42,666 --> 00:34:44,392
You've been
very cooperative,
and I thank you.
564
00:34:44,427 --> 00:34:46,429
I told you
from the beginning
it was laughable.
565
00:34:46,463 --> 00:34:49,259
Unfortunately, I have to
check out all the leads.
566
00:34:49,294 --> 00:34:53,229
It's my duty, you know,
in spite of the source.
567
00:34:53,263 --> 00:34:55,852
Don't go far. We'll still
want to talk to you.
568
00:34:55,886 --> 00:35:01,547
But, uh, I think...
569
00:35:01,582 --> 00:35:05,517
I'll consult with
our police psychiatrist.
570
00:35:05,551 --> 00:35:07,588
Buxbaum.
571
00:35:11,281 --> 00:35:14,353
I'm sorry
about this whole thing.
I really am.
572
00:35:14,388 --> 00:35:17,494
But I did see that armor.
573
00:35:17,529 --> 00:35:21,119
Who was this
Black Cross Knight? Where
did this armor come from?
574
00:35:21,153 --> 00:35:23,742
I wouldn't give you another
piece of information...
575
00:35:23,776 --> 00:35:28,298
if you held me down and
let a pack of rats run through
my clothes willy-nilly.
576
00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:32,785
Not if you made me drink the oil
slick off Lake Michigan would
you get anything out of me.
577
00:35:32,820 --> 00:35:36,444
Now please leave here,
and take that sickly
stench with you.
578
00:36:10,202 --> 00:36:12,100
Hello.
My name's Carl Kolchak.
579
00:36:12,135 --> 00:36:14,413
I'd like some information
about coats of arms.
580
00:36:14,448 --> 00:36:17,209
Kolchak.
That's an old and revered
Russian name, isn't it?
581
00:36:17,244 --> 00:36:20,385
- Actually, no, it's Polish.
- Polish?
582
00:36:20,419 --> 00:36:22,628
Oh, yes, of course. Kolchak.
583
00:36:22,663 --> 00:36:24,906
An ancient lineage there.
584
00:36:24,941 --> 00:36:28,807
You must be descended
from Archbishop Kolchak
of Kraków,
585
00:36:28,841 --> 00:36:31,603
who defended the church
from the Magyar onslaught.
586
00:36:31,637 --> 00:36:34,813
- Really?
- Oh, it's a proud line
you're from.
587
00:36:34,847 --> 00:36:37,298
That's terrific.
I didn't know that.
588
00:36:37,333 --> 00:36:40,163
My grandmother
always told me that we were
descended from Slavs.
589
00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:43,339
Oh, no, Archbishop Kolchak.
590
00:36:43,373 --> 00:36:47,205
Maura, you have
the Kolchak crest
back there, don't you?
591
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,415
- I'm sure we do, honey.
- No. Wait.
That's very interesting,
592
00:36:50,449 --> 00:36:53,003
but, you see,
I'm not interested
in buying a coat of arms.
593
00:36:53,038 --> 00:36:56,214
I'm a reporter.
I need some information
about a shield.
594
00:36:56,248 --> 00:36:59,631
We're in the business
of selling coats of arms.
595
00:36:59,665 --> 00:37:02,703
Mostly mail order.
We're very busy today.
596
00:37:02,737 --> 00:37:05,015
Yeah, well, I guess
I'll buy a coat of arms.
597
00:37:06,638 --> 00:37:09,503
- Twelve dollars
for the pine plaque.
- Twelve bucks, huh?
598
00:37:09,537 --> 00:37:13,541
Listen, the shield I saw
was red, with a black lion
sitting on top of it,
599
00:37:13,576 --> 00:37:16,130
and then there was a diagonal
stripe of black down across it.
600
00:37:16,164 --> 00:37:21,446
- We call that "the lion rampant
and the black bend sinister."
- Uh-huh.
601
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:23,655
What you're describing
is a heraldic design...
602
00:37:23,689 --> 00:37:26,692
of the infamous Mettancoeur
family of Burgundy.
603
00:37:26,727 --> 00:37:29,039
Infamous?
- Oh, bad people.
604
00:37:29,074 --> 00:37:31,697
The last of the line,
Guy de Mettancoeur,
605
00:37:31,732 --> 00:37:35,322
was particularly a pig,
even by today's standards.
606
00:37:35,356 --> 00:37:37,910
He stayed behind in Burgundy.
He didn't go to the Crusades.
607
00:37:37,945 --> 00:37:41,535
He amassed a fortune,
slaying even women
and children.
608
00:37:41,569 --> 00:37:44,883
Here we are. Of course,
when we mail it to you,
609
00:37:44,917 --> 00:37:46,988
it will have "Kolchak"
emblazoned beneath,
610
00:37:47,023 --> 00:37:49,336
hand-lettered
by one of our artists.
611
00:37:49,370 --> 00:37:51,372
Oh, it has
such striking colors.
612
00:37:51,407 --> 00:37:55,480
I think it really deserves
a walnut plaque...
for only $60.
613
00:37:55,514 --> 00:37:59,829
- Pine'll be fine.
- But if I had your ancestry,
I'd flaunt it.
614
00:37:59,863 --> 00:38:03,626
Did Roger tell you
about Baron the General
Joachim-Meinz Kolchak?
615
00:38:03,660 --> 00:38:07,871
He was the military adviser
for the Emperor Franz Joseph.
616
00:38:07,906 --> 00:38:09,942
They called him
the Lion of Warsaw.
617
00:38:09,977 --> 00:38:12,082
Mm-hmm.
618
00:38:12,117 --> 00:38:14,464
I got a hunch
it'll be a walnut.
619
00:38:14,499 --> 00:38:16,811
Uh-- Hmm.
620
00:38:16,846 --> 00:38:18,779
Could you take a check?
621
00:38:18,813 --> 00:38:20,815
Oh, of course.
622
00:38:20,850 --> 00:38:22,886
You were talking about
Guy, Guy, the--
623
00:38:22,921 --> 00:38:24,923
- Mettancoeur.
- Yeah.
624
00:38:24,957 --> 00:38:27,615
His family had the finest
vineyards in Burgundy.
625
00:38:27,650 --> 00:38:30,308
Château Mettancoeur.
626
00:38:30,342 --> 00:38:33,449
But Guy himself
hated human pleasures.
627
00:38:33,483 --> 00:38:36,555
He became a pariah
in his own time.
628
00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:38,902
Yeah, I've known
a few like that myself.
629
00:38:38,937 --> 00:38:40,835
What do you mean he hated
all human pleasures?
630
00:38:40,870 --> 00:38:43,666
He consorted with dabblers
in the black arts.
631
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:45,702
He became, uh,
632
00:38:45,737 --> 00:38:50,845
"legendary for
his invincibility
and his unchivalrous acts."
633
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:54,159
- Here.
Here we are, like here.
- Oh, yeah.
634
00:38:54,193 --> 00:38:58,853
"After he had killed a foe,
it was his custom...
635
00:38:58,888 --> 00:39:01,994
"to wipe the blood
from his weapon...
636
00:39:02,029 --> 00:39:06,344
on the flying colors
of the dead foe,
as a gesture of contempt."
637
00:39:06,378 --> 00:39:11,797
- What are flying colors?
- A silk scarf,
a bright piece of clothing.
638
00:39:11,832 --> 00:39:14,800
How about a pillowcase
or a sport jacket?
639
00:39:14,835 --> 00:39:16,906
I beg your pardon?
640
00:39:16,940 --> 00:39:19,011
Yeah.
641
00:39:19,046 --> 00:39:21,255
Thank you very much.
642
00:39:25,535 --> 00:39:29,608
Guy... de Mettan--
643
00:39:32,922 --> 00:39:35,649
There he is--
the black knight.
644
00:39:41,689 --> 00:39:44,796
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
645
00:39:44,830 --> 00:39:47,764
The Hydecker Company
Importers.
646
00:39:47,799 --> 00:39:51,941
Yeah, right, Ernie.
They were bought out by
Canadian-American Leisure.
647
00:39:51,975 --> 00:39:56,497
What were the fancy French
labels they used to import?
648
00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:59,845
You mean they did import
Château Mettancoeur.
649
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,537
Oh, that's terrific.
650
00:40:01,571 --> 00:40:05,679
I'd send you a case of scotch,
only you're already
in the liquor business.
651
00:40:05,713 --> 00:40:08,992
- I got it, Tony.
- Carl, did you have to use
the whole bottle?
652
00:40:09,027 --> 00:40:10,684
- Hmm?
- Whew!
653
00:40:10,718 --> 00:40:12,789
- Oh. Uh--
- Carl, look.
654
00:40:12,824 --> 00:40:14,791
You were supposed
to be covering,
among other things,
655
00:40:14,826 --> 00:40:17,932
the death of
Brewster Hocking of Chicago
of the 20th century.
656
00:40:17,967 --> 00:40:20,728
As I read your notes here,
you're trying to
pin this killing,
657
00:40:20,763 --> 00:40:24,801
and several others,
on a 12th-century
French knight.
658
00:40:24,836 --> 00:40:27,114
- Am I correct there, Carl?
- Oh, it's bizarre, Tony.
659
00:40:27,148 --> 00:40:29,323
It's incredible,
but I do believe
that's what's happening.
660
00:40:29,357 --> 00:40:31,981
What rot. And I have
to sit here and write
financial news, and he--
661
00:40:32,015 --> 00:40:35,018
Uh, Ron, Ron.
Look, Carl,
662
00:40:35,053 --> 00:40:39,747
I saw my sister-in-law
have a nervous breakdown,
and it was messy.
663
00:40:39,782 --> 00:40:42,854
- Now I recognize
all the symptoms, Carl.
- Oh.
664
00:40:42,888 --> 00:40:46,340
Fantasy,
the inability to concentrate
on real issues.
665
00:40:46,374 --> 00:40:49,205
Well, it probably runs
in the family, Tony.
666
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,794
Listen, just because
it sounds strange...
667
00:40:51,828 --> 00:40:54,728
doesn't mean there's
any reason for me to go
to the lollipop factory.
668
00:40:54,762 --> 00:40:57,455
Guy de Mettancoeur
was an ogre.
669
00:40:57,489 --> 00:41:00,250
He had a suit of armor
fashioned by a necromancer,
a sorcerer.
670
00:41:00,285 --> 00:41:02,321
It made him impregnable
to attack.
671
00:41:02,356 --> 00:41:04,841
You see what I mean?
Fantasy.
672
00:41:04,876 --> 00:41:07,050
So there's armor
at the Hydecker Museum.
673
00:41:07,085 --> 00:41:09,467
So what does that mean?
It's an empty suit.
674
00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:12,435
It's just a glorified set
of drainpipes. That's all.
675
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:16,163
Now you come in here
rambling about some
blessed battle-ax...
676
00:41:16,197 --> 00:41:19,546
and Pope Gregory
and smelling like a vase
full of dead begonias.
677
00:41:19,580 --> 00:41:21,686
No, that's
Minerva Musso's perfume.
678
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:26,242
Carl-- Carl, what is
happening in your life?
679
00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:27,692
Okay.
680
00:41:27,726 --> 00:41:29,901
All right.
681
00:41:29,935 --> 00:41:32,973
The armor and the battle-ax
are both out of the museum.
682
00:41:33,007 --> 00:41:36,632
The whole story is there.
Pope Gregory blessed
that battle-ax...
683
00:41:36,666 --> 00:41:39,566
and asked
the Knight of Strasbourg to
do battle with Mettancoeur.
684
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:43,501
The holy ax was the only thing
that could pierce Mettancoeur's
armor, and it did.
685
00:41:43,535 --> 00:41:46,642
Mettancoeur died, but he swore
with his last breath...
686
00:41:46,676 --> 00:41:50,784
that music and human gaiety
would never be permitted
around his resting place.
687
00:41:50,818 --> 00:41:53,994
- See, he was a misanthrope.
- What beef could he have...
688
00:41:54,028 --> 00:41:57,515
with Brewster Hocking
or Minerva Musso?
689
00:41:57,549 --> 00:42:00,103
Their great-grandfathers
hadn't even been born yet.
690
00:42:00,138 --> 00:42:01,657
Can you understand that?
Can you see that?
691
00:42:01,691 --> 00:42:04,729
You see,
Brewster and Minerva...
692
00:42:04,763 --> 00:42:07,870
were both parties to a plan
to turn the Hydecker Museum...
693
00:42:07,904 --> 00:42:10,320
into a medieval
steak-and-lobster discotheque.
694
00:42:10,355 --> 00:42:13,461
And this misanthropic knight
took issue with that?
695
00:42:13,496 --> 00:42:17,914
It's all part of a curse, Tony.
I saw this knight walk into
Minerva's bedroom and kill her.
696
00:42:17,949 --> 00:42:20,641
I saw it, man!
He walked in, and I saw it!
697
00:42:20,676 --> 00:42:25,335
All right, Carl. Let us say
that you saw this knight
walk into her bedroom.
698
00:42:25,370 --> 00:42:27,372
- Just let's suppose that.
- That's right.
699
00:42:27,406 --> 00:42:31,687
Must we also assume that
it had to be a Frenchman
out of the year 1227?
700
00:42:31,721 --> 00:42:35,276
Does our logic dictate that it
had to be some superhuman ghost?
701
00:42:35,311 --> 00:42:38,659
I know where you're heading,
Tony, and you're wrong.
702
00:42:38,694 --> 00:42:40,799
- I've already been there.
- Leo Ramutka.
703
00:42:40,834 --> 00:42:43,871
He's a ward boss.
What does he know about
museums and discotheques?
704
00:42:43,906 --> 00:42:47,944
Tony, the Hydecker Museum
is too old to be remodeled.
705
00:42:47,979 --> 00:42:49,981
You see,
it's below building codes.
706
00:42:50,015 --> 00:42:53,260
Guess who was interceding
with the building department
to get a variance.
707
00:42:53,294 --> 00:42:54,675
Leo Ramutka.
708
00:42:54,710 --> 00:42:56,953
And-And Mr. Rolf Danvers,
Tony.
709
00:42:56,988 --> 00:42:59,611
Rolf Danvers owned the lot
next door to the museum.
710
00:42:59,646 --> 00:43:02,303
- Parking, Tony. Parking.
- Why don't you rest
a little bit?
711
00:43:02,338 --> 00:43:04,305
Why don't you
come into my office,
lie down on the sofa...
712
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,860
and relax, take a shower,
clean yourself up?
713
00:43:06,894 --> 00:43:09,103
- Rest, sleep on my sofa.
- No, Tony.
714
00:43:09,138 --> 00:43:12,797
I'll be back with the most
amazing, astounding story
that you ever heard.
715
00:43:12,831 --> 00:43:15,869
And you're gonna beat
your fingers to a bloody pulp
on the Teletypes...
716
00:43:15,903 --> 00:43:18,803
so we can get the whole story
out to our customers!
717
00:43:18,837 --> 00:43:22,323
Carl, please, stay a while.
Stay a while and have
dinner with me.
718
00:43:22,358 --> 00:43:24,360
- Look, I'll buy.
- You'll buy?
719
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,396
- Yes.
- What's the matter with you?
720
00:43:26,431 --> 00:43:28,536
Have you suddenly
lost your mind or something?
721
00:43:28,571 --> 00:43:32,713
Buy? You've never bought
anything in your life.
722
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,063
It's my sister-in-law
all over again.
723
00:43:40,410 --> 00:43:42,965
Oh!
724
00:43:42,999 --> 00:43:45,312
I don't know.
725
00:43:45,346 --> 00:43:50,006
I don't know. Maybe
it's my fault. Maybe I've been
browbeating him too much.
726
00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:51,629
Don't castigate yourself.
727
00:44:54,381 --> 00:44:56,210
Shhh!
728
00:49:15,538 --> 00:49:18,783
A blessed battle-ax and an
iron suit full of thin air.
729
00:49:18,817 --> 00:49:21,855
I knew I'd have a lot of
explaining to do to the owners
of the Hydecker Museum,
730
00:49:21,889 --> 00:49:23,891
to Captain Vernon Rausch
and, of course,
731
00:49:23,926 --> 00:49:28,172
to my own
beloved bureau chief,
A. Vincenzo.
732
00:49:28,206 --> 00:49:31,451
There wouldn't be much
I could tell them,
except what I'll tell you.
733
00:49:31,485 --> 00:49:34,178
It all really happened.
61926
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